Co-written by Diamond's Cloak.

Eli Ryder, Sylvia Johnson, & Landon belong to me.

Kryztal Jewel & Don Maring belong to Diamond's Cloak.

Everyone else belongs to Monty Oum & Rooster Teeth (yes, that includes Prof. Mulberry. He's a minor mention in the book RWBY: After the Fall).

Eli was hanging by Mercury as they walked through the woods. "Ya know Merc, we get to Vale, we run into Roman and Neo..."

"And?" he asked her, keeping to the back so they could chat.

Eli grinned as she pulled out some super-glue and chili powder. Mercury noticed the chili powder and super glue and grinned wickedly.

"Now we'll have two silent crazies," Mercury says, grinning wickedly as he glances over to Emerald. "Are we there yet? My feet are killing me."

"We've only been out here a few hours... And your feet are robotic," Emerald called back.

Sylvia shook her head.

"They're still tired..." Mercury called back.

"Ya ain't gettin' a robotic foot massage, Mercury," Sylvia called back.

He rolled his eyes, looking to Eli. "Not like I wanted one from her, anyway," he mumbled, crossing his arms.

"Merc, even if your feet weren't robotic, that's totally gross," Eli responded.

"That isn't what I meant..." he answers back, shaking his head.

"What didja mean, then?" she asked.

"...my legs hurt," he answered, looking to Eli.

"I ain't carrying you. Those boots of yours alone probably weigh...I dunno, 20 lbs.? ...Enough to know that I'd need a chiropractor."

"At least, if you carry my feet you can watch me walk funny."

Eli rolled her eyes. "Em, can we take a break? Just an hour?"

Emerald sighed. "Half an hour."

Mercury pumped his fist in the air, grinning, and dropped down where he stood, laying in the field. Eli lay down next to him. Mercury smiled, looking to Eli. "So...what to do other than lay here..."

Eli shrugged. "Talk about what we're gonna do in Vale, kiss..." She shrugged again. "Take a nap."

"Kiss?" Mercury asked, looking at her funny.

"Eh, just sayin'. If this were a movie or such, we'd totally kiss right now. Besides, weren't you basically calling me your number one earlier?"

Mercury shook his head, turning away. "I was teasing Emerald, Eli..." he says, dismissing her as usual.

Eli looked away. "Yeah, I know."

Mercury rolled back to her. "It's...not that I don't like you...more, I think you can find someone more compatible..."

Eli sighed. "You've seen me fight, Merc. I use a kusarigama with a damn electric chain. That doesn't sound compatible for an assassin?"

"Weapons aren't emotions, Eli..." Mercury mentioned, "I see you as a sister...not an interest."

"Break's over, let's go," Emerald said then. Eli got up and walked off from him.

Mercury sighed, getting up and following them. He figured when they got to Vale, he'd be able to make it up to her.

"Smooth move, lady-killer," Emerald said quietly to him with a smirk.

He glared at her, rolling his eyes. "Oh please...like you hadn't hurt someone you cared for..." Mercury told Emerald, walking off to simmer down.

Mercury sighed as they neared Vale. "If Cinder's right, then those guys we abandoned took forever to get here, eh, Em?"

"Yeah, probably."

"Meaning the sooner we get in, the sooner we get him and get out...you got a plan?"

Emerald tensed. "Not really. Something tells me he's still with the others. And you know my Semblance gives me a killer headache if I use it on more than one person. And I don't know how the two foxes will help - Cinder told me to bring them along after Eli dropped the bucket on your head."

"I think she wants you to use them as bait," Mercury said, shrugging. "He seemed kinda protective of them."

Emerald shrugged. "Well, first we have to find him, and separate him from the others, if he's still with them."

"Did the others even have weapons? The kid had a shotgun, and I think one of them had gloves..."

"The Faunus with the yellow tail - I think he might've been a mink? - had a sword, and there was a wolf among them as well..."

"Okay, so they're all armed...still...they all seem to know who we are, so, if they're like Sylvia, maybe they know they can't win?" he shrugged, glancing back to Eli. "But they don't know Eli..."

Emerald shrugged.

"Well...we can use her to our advantage," he shrugged, glancing over to Eli. "Plus, if she caught him, it'd probably boost her up a little."

"Yeah, probably."

"Plus...maybe having another guy around might pull her off me...aren't scientists supposed to be inherently kooky?"

Sylvia rolled her eyes at that and snorted. "No, we not."

Mercury rolled his eyes. "Well he must be, if he's paranoid enough to hide a sword in a wrench."

"Everything doubles as a gun around here - scythes, swords, gauntlets, canes, thermoses, purses, your boots..."

"But how many from another world do that?" he asked, smirking.

Sylvia shrugged. "Canes can conceal guns and swords where we come from, as well as parasols and umbrellas."

Mercury shook his head. "Fine...still think its weird."

Sylvia only smiled smugly.

He rolled his eyes, glancing over to Eli. "Eli...we might have a job for you."

Eli looked up. "Yeah, what is it?"

"How do you feel about getting a boy to like you?" Mercury asked, grinning.

Eli glared and flipped him the bird, which made Emerald laugh.

Mercury sighed. "Either you can trick him, or we have to do this the hard way," he tells her, not even looking at her gesture. "Either way is personally fine with me."

"We can try tricking him," Eli grumbled.

Mercury smiled, moving to keep with her pace. "Trust me, I think you'll enjoy it...you just gotta break him away from his friends and bring him to us, then you can go back to fawning over me."

Eli trailed a hand down Mercury's arm as she stared into his eyes seductively. "Trust me, I think I can handle...that!" She kneened him in the treasure.

Mercury grunted, pulling himself away after she kicked him, causing him to jump. "I...didn't need kids anyways..." he piped up, unable to hide his pain.

Emerald burst out laughing, while the foxes winced in sympathy.

"H-h-how'd you not see that coming, Mercury?!" Emerald said between laughs.

Mercury hissed in pain as he glared at Emerald, slowing down to ease himself.

As they reached Vale, Mercury had gone to purchase himself a bag of ice, making sure to keep it close to his thighs as they walked. "Now all we have to do is set up shop and hope we find him..."

"Why not try to find Roman? Stick with him?" Eli suggested.

"We could...you remember his last whereabouts, Emerald?"

"Somewhere in the warehouse district, I think."

"Well...guess we should see him..." Mercury says, sighing.

Eli smiled a little. "'Member, Merc..." She pulled out the super-glue again.

Mercury stared at her, sighing as he saw the super glue. "All is forgiven if you can shut him up."

Eli's smile dropped. "Glue's poisonous, Mercury."

"...then what're you planning to do with it?" Mercury asked.

"I'm gonna put the gllue in his hat and on his cane."

"...but what about the chili powder you had?"

"That's going in Neo's ice cream."

"Oooooh...touché."

They arrived at the warehouse district, Mercury looking around. "So Neo and the bowler hat hang around in this...kinda...low hanging for them."

"Where else would you hide stolen Dust?" Emerald retorted.

"I'm sure Neo has some suggestions, but its not like she'd ever tell," Mercury said, having figured there was more to her life than just being around Torchwick.

Eli elbowed him. "She's a mute, Merc."

"As far as we know." Mercury corrects her, "We don't know how she is when its just her and Torchy."

"Where are they, anyway? There's no one in sight."

"I betcha we mess up one of their warehouses they'll show..." Mercury says, raising his foot and getting ready to aim one of his bullets.

Melodic Cudgel hit him in the face. "And just what do you think you're doing, idiot? Trying to blow us to pieces?!" He then noticed Sylvia. "Oh. Well, hello, foxy." He then noticed the tail and groaned at his mistake.

Sylvia rolled her eyes. "I'm already spoken for."

"Not like I'd want an animal. Now, get to moving crates like the rest of your idiot brethren."

"Don't talk to Momma that way!"

"Oh, great. Brought a little ra-"

Landon leapt and punched him in the chest, knocking him on his ass and sending him back a few feet.

Mercury groaned, rubbing his sore face as he watched Landon punch Torchwick and send him flying. "Nice job, little man!" Mercury says, grinning. "Put Torchy in his place!"

Eli and Emerald snickered as Roman groaned. Landon held his hand out for a high-five.

"Ugh. Just what are you all doing here anyway?" Torchwick groaned as he dusted himself off.

"We need a place to stay while we hunt someone down," Emerald said with a shrug.

"And of course you chose me, instead somewhere like a hotel."

Mercury high fived Landon, giving him a thumbs up as well. "I suggested a hotel, Emerald suggested here."

"Wonderful, just wonderful. So what, I'm just supposed to babysit?"

"I'd figure Neo would be better with kids...might need her to do some makeup though."

"Makeup?"

"Eli here is gonna be our bait!" Mercury grins, gesturing to her.

"Oh. Great. This'll be just great." He sighed exasperatedly. "I'll go get Neo." Roman walked off.

Mercury kept his grin, looking to Sylvia. "So...this kid, lion boy...we know anything he likes? Other than science and this world?" he asked, "Or is Eli gonna be in it for the long run?"

"Sorry, I only met him once before. All I learned is he went to a magic school for a while, then quit to pursue science."

"Magic? Magic doesn't exist here..." Mercury says, looking to Eli. "Guess we're in for the long haul."

Neo came then.

"Neo!" Eli hugged her. "Nice t' see ya again."

Neo nodded before pulling away.

Mercury smiled, looking to Neo. "Neo, we need your help, specifically," he says. "Though I figure Roman already told ya."

Neo nodded.

Eli groaned. "The kid's never even met me. Why do I have to wear makeup?"

Neo stomped her foot.

"Ow! Neo!"

Mercury shrugged. "Gotta make a good first impression, besides, seems like Neo wants a model." He chuckled, hearing her foot get stomped.

"Why not Roman? He's the one who wears eyeliner."

"She probably does his makeup too, but its a pride thing, right Emerald?" Mercury asked, looking over to her.

"Why you asking me? Do I look like I wear makeup?"

Neo pulled a reluctant Eli away.

"...Sylvia, back in your world, do you try looking pretty for someone?" Mercury asked, watching Eli be taken away.

Sylvia sighed. "The only guy I like is such a workaholic, I've yet to get him to notice me as anything more than an employee."

Merc winced, lowering his head. "Sorry to hear that..."

Sylvia nodded quietly.

He pretended looking at a watch on his wrist, now that they were waiting on Eli to be dolled up.

Neo eventually came back with Eli, who was now wearing thickening mascara, a small amount of eyeliner and blush, and light red lipstick and gloss.

Mercury stifled a short chuckle as he saw Eli. "Looking good, Ryder."

"Mercury, I can still hurt you."

"I'm serious...Em, Sylvia, Landon...what do you guys think?" He looked back to them, struggling to keep a straight face.

"She looks...nice," Emerald said.

Sylvia nodded. "I'm no expert with makeup, but I think it draws out her natural beauty."

"It's...nice..." Landon said.

"Mercury, you're struggling not to laugh. Just say it, I look ridiculous!"

"It's not that I think its ridiculous!" he says, letting his chuckling go as he finally started to catch his breath. "I'm chuckling because I didn't-" He looked over to Neo, blinking before looking back to Eli, "-think it would look so good on you. I'd seen ya without makeup so much that seeing you with it is just odd."

Eli didn't know what to make of that, and looked away in embarrassment. Neo smiled and gave a silent giggle.

Mercury smiled, blushing slightly as he gave a small thumb's up to Neo and stepped out of the warehouse to breathe.

Don was strolling the streets of Vale. His attempt at any sort of partnership or apprenticeship with Mulberry would've left him with knowledge but without funds. He had to find a job, any job, to receive the funds he needed to find a way back home. He was going to do this with or without Ironwood's aid.

Eli walked down the streets, headed to Beacon. She was thankful that she'd talked Neo outta heels.

Don kept his head low, having gotten various declines from potential jobs. He walked right past Eli, not even bothering to notice her.

Eli recognized her target almost immediately. Mercury had told her that her target would be a lion Faunus with cream colored curly hair and his tail wrapped around his pants like a belt. It was surprising he'd remembered so much from only seeing him for a couple of seconds. She turned around and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, something wrong, leo?"

Don's head rose up, looking to whomever it was that grabbed his shoulder and eyed Eli. "I-I...yeah, sorta...just, trying to get a job here," he says, a little nervous. Maybe it was the fact that a total stranger that gently grabbed him, or perhaps the paranoia set in by the others, but he kinda wished he had brought someone with him now.

"Well, that should be easy. Just get a job at some burger joint." Eli was struggling a little. "I mean, whatever pays, right?"

"Yes, that would be smart...but, when you technically don't exist, it's hard to get anywhere..." Don mentioned, shrugging.

"'Don't exist'?"

"No birth certificate...no...familial relations," he answers, shrugging. "Mistral, born and raised, but was left to my own devices at a young age..." He realized he'd already screwed up, hoping his lie would be accepted.

Eli crossed her arms. "Uh-huh. So you either come from a criminal background or you're a former street rat."

"Orphan, actually...wanted to be a Huntsman when I was little," he answered, his lies incredibly weak. "J-just...it's complicated..."

"Orphans would still have birth certificates...unless the parents were homeless."

"Or if the parents were dead." He sighed, looking at her. "But since we're on assumptions, what's a street rat doing wearing as much makeup as you are...?"

Eli huffed. "I'm not a street rat! I was born in Vale!"

"Yeah, and Aladdin was born in Agrabah...still means he was a street rat," Don replied, crossing his arms.

Emerald was born in Vacuo, Eli thought to herself. "Well, I'm not a street rat. I have my own place."

Don raised an eyebrow, sighing. "Well..." He sighed, admitting defeat. "Sorry...I'm just really stressed right now...my thoughts and words are all jumbled, and if anything, I'm making an ass of myself." He rubs his temples, looking to her. "Don't exist...I am an orphan, but that's not why I said that..."

"Well, anyway, Kimba, I might know where you can find work. Well-paying, too." She smiled a sweet, yet coy smile.

Don gave off a small blush, shaking it off quickly. "R-really? Th-think you can help me out, Miss?" he asked, smiling softly

"Of course. Follow me." She started walking off. "And my name's Eli."

"Eli...that's a cute name," he says, following her. "I'm Don..."

"So, Don, you know how to operate a forklift? 'Cause I work with some pretty heavy machinery. You seem the sorta guy who'd know all about machines." What are you doing, what are you doing?!

Don scratched his head. "I...don't actually know how to...but it has to be as easy as driving a car, yeah?" he asked, tilting his head. "What is it that you do exactly?"

"I help unload ships. It's fun, though the controls take a little getting used to."

"Oh yeah?" Don asked, blinking. "It's...kinda funny...how many times do you run into that street thug Roman? I would expect him to be hiding his bounty around here..."

"Oh please. Torchwick could probably get beaten by a little kid."

"Maybe, but average people won't stand a chance..." Don answered, shrugging. "Besides, you could merely threaten him with a gun shot or something...one shot in this place and the whole district could go out."

"Mm, maybe. Welp, in here." Eli slightly opened the door to the warehouse the others were staying. "You first."

Don checked his watch. "Ehh, actually. I'mma hafta get going. I'll meet the rest of the crew tomorrow, if that's cool?" He knew better than to just get all up and excited, especially around people he didn't know, like Eli. He couldn't outright trust her, especially if she 'worked' in the warehouse district.

Eli shrugged. "See ya here tomorrow then?"

Don nodded, starting to head back. "Yeah...nice meeting you Eli."

Eli waved until he was gone. "Damn it." She headed into the warehouse.

Mercury sighed as she came back in, shaking his head. "Too tight on trying to reel him in," he says, having heard most of the conversation. "I'd say try being yourself...none of this 'job' crap."

"Hey, he's the one looking for a job," she pointed out.

"What's he need a job for? The kid has it made inside Beacon..."

"Simple, Merc." Sylvia came up behind him. "Our money didn't convert to Lien when coming here. Everyone from our world is poorer than dirt."

"Well, what the hell do you guys use? Golden rings?" He chuckled softly, shaking his head. "If he's working on a way to get you guys home, like Kryztal said, maybe he needs funds."

"Actually, Mercury, yes, gold rings are our universal currency," the fox informed.

"...then sell the rings to a jeweler?" Mercury asked. "Do you have one?"

Sylvia tossed him one. Mercury caught it, looking to the small ring and wore it on his finger. "Not bad...price of gold just dropped though."

Sylvia shrugged. "What're ya gonna do about it?"

"Simple...melt your rings and sell them." He grinned. "You'd be able to do whatever you wanted then."

"Mercury, maybe you aren't as dumb as you look," the fox teased.

Mercury rolled his eyes. "For being so smart, your lion friend was stupid to not think about it."

Sylvia shrugged. "Maybe he didn't have any on him?"

Mercury shrugged, "That's why you always keep a little money on your person."

"Anyway Merc, ready to prank Roman and Neo?" Eli asked.

Mercury grinned, nodding. "Yeah, just don't wipe that makeup off in front of Neo. She'll probably kill you for ruining her work."

A little later

Eli had gotten Emerald, and even Landon was waiting in hiding for Roman to come.

After a bit, Roman came, grumbling about something. He grabbed his cane and used it to flip his derby onto his head. The brim went over his eyes, and he attempted to move it, only for it to be stuck!

"What the hell?!" He tugged on the hat some more. "Who put glue in my hat?!" He suddenly noticed he couldn't drop his cane, either! "And my cane!"

Mercury snickered quietly, having long since added Eli's chili powder to Neo's ice cream machine, but not before pouring the group a gallon of neopolitan. He grinned, waiting see where she would come in.

As if on cue, Neo came up. She tried to help Roman, but after a while gave up and made herself ice cream. Almost immediately, she started panting and fanning her mouth.

Everyone snickered.

"Merc, we have an EpiPen, just in case she's allergic, right?" Eli asked between stifled giggles.

"I'll have to double check, but I think so." Mercury answered, snickering softly, "Too bad her whole machine needs cleaning."

"Well then, good thing you made us ice cream first."

"Yeah...wanna grab a couple of bowls?" he asked, smiling.

Eli shrugged. "Sure thing. You two?"

"Yeah!" Landon cheered.

"Eh, why not?" Emerald said.

"Maybe Sylvia will want one too." Mercury responded, glancing over to Neo. "Aaaaaand I'm quick to help her over Torchy."

Neo was still panting, and she seemed rather furious right now.

"Well, let's find her," Eli said, before walking off.

"Yeah...and remind me to give her a bowl when she chills out." Mercury said, watching Neo as he snuck away.

The others followed, still snickering.

Mercury, after some time of looking through the warehouse's freezer, pulled out the batch he made, grabbing a scoop and golden spoons to everyone. Everyone thanked Mercury and started eating. Mercury nodded, making an extra bowl and carried it off. He didn't mind not eating with the rest of them, but felt he did need to give the queen of ice cream something in return.

Neo was still upset, but lit up and attempted to hugged Mercury when he presented her with a bowl of neapolitan. Mercury kept her at an arm's reach. "I'm not needing a hug...just...thanks for doing that what ya did to Eli."

Neo smiled and nodded.

"Now...you can go and trick her in a similar way...preferably make pistachio and say its mint."

Neo looked at him a second, before pulling out a Scroll and typing: {You know she ain't picky with her ice cream, right?}

"I didn't, actually...maybe an interesting make over, then? She failed to get that guy."

Neo silently giggled a little. {Maybe...}

Mercury grinned. "Whatever you decide to do...let me know." He says, backing up. "And I hope Roman got his hat off!"

Neo glared at him. {Give me the glue.} She held out her hand.

He raised his hands up. "Talk to Eli about the glue. I came for my own apology," he told her.

{If you want to dissolve glue, you use more glue.}

"That's...that makes no sense," Mercury replied. "But you've got to talk to her to get it..."

{Hey, I'm not the one who invented science...or glue.} {But I'll talk to her.} Neo got up to follow Mercury.

Mercury grinned, bringing her to Eli. "And if you need, I'll wash your machine."

Neo nodded, before shoving her Scroll in Eli's face. {Give me the glue.}

"Why?"

{To remove Roman's hat without making him bald.}

"More glue's not gonna help with that. Try nail polish remover."

Mercury nodded. "Nail polish sounds smart..."

Neo held her hand out for the glue. After Eli gave it back, Neo shoved her Scroll in Mercury's face.

{Get to cleaning my ice cream machine.}

Mercury gave a salute to Neo, turning and walking off. "Yep, clean it, got it."

"Whksssh!" Sylvia made a whipping noise at him, which made the girls laugh. Landon looked at his mom weirdly, wondering what that was about.

Mercury rolled his eyes. "I'm not a whippin' boy," he says, walking off. In his frustration, he may have "accidentally" damaged or ruined Neo's machine while cleaning.

Yay! The villains are back! We'll be seeing plenty of them soon. The reason it took so many chapters was because Don's group already made to Beacon, soo...