A/N: It has taken a while but I think I can safely say, this will be completed soon, if any of my original followers are still reading. All reviews welcome and encouraged. Hope everyone is safe and well in the current climate. I know this is an old Holby pairing but I had to finish the story.

I do not claim to own anything related to the BBC or Holby City.

This is for you Michelle and Jennifer. If you are still reading. This chapter is aptly titled White Flag. It is named after the Dido song of the same name.

There will be no white flag above my door. I'm in love and always will be.

Chapter Eight - White Flag

Sahira arrived home just after 8:30pm, having spent a majority of the last hour trying to gather herself before driving. She opened the front door quietly, knowing the boys would be in bed now. She crept past the living room door and saw that her mum was asleep on the chair.

Making her way upstairs, she looked in on her two sleeping children. She kissed them both on the forehead and stood in the doorway watching them for a minute. Once again, she was filled with sadness knowing they would be missing their dad terribly and they were too young to understand it all. Closing the door, she headed to the bathroom and decided to take a shower. She had only just realised she was still in her scrubs - having left the hospital in a frantic state. She didn't stay in there long as she was still too agitated to stay in one place too long and wanted to keep busy until she was tired enough to sleep. She tied her hair into a messy bun, threw on an oversized shirt and a pair of leggings. Once dressed, she crept back downstairs but her Mum was no longer asleep on the chair.

As she entered the kitchen - her Mum turned - looked at her and she just broke down.

"What's happened?" She asked with concern.

"I don't know where to start." She sobbed.

"Come here, sit down, and I will make you a cup of tea."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before she finally relented and told her Mum everything. She explained about Greg and what had happened since she met him. Once her Mum had taken in what her daughter told her, she simply said, "if you love him, you need to take a chance Sahira. People come into our lives for a reason and if he has been fighting for you for this long, maybe you should fight for him now."

"It's too late. He's gone. He left without saying goodbye."

"It's never too late darling. You need to try. You will always regret it if you don't. If you are sure, even if you are not sure he is the one, you still need to know. Find him and tell him before you miss your chance."

"I do love him. I just didn't realise how much until now."

"You need to go. Go now. Take as long as you need. I will look after the munchkins."

"Thank you Mum."

Sahira rose to her feet, hugged her Mum tightly and hastily went out the front door.

Greg looked around the room, giving it one final check. He made sure he had packed everything he needed for his trip home the following day. He was looking forward to seeing his family. He had not been home for a long time and it was just the rest he needed before he was thrown head first into his new adventure. He grabbed the bags from the bed and looked over at his alarm clock. It was 9:45pm. "Time for a beer." He said to himself. Dumping his bags in the hall, he made his way to the kitchen and laid his passport and tickets out on the table. He opened the fridge, took out a beer and went through to sit on the couch in the living room. Unable to settle, he flicked through the channels on the TV trying to find something to take his mind away.

Sahira had driven the short distance to Greg's flat. She sat looking up at the building, wondering if he was even home or if he was home alone. He always had a tendency go on a bender and pick up random women when he was wounded. She tried his phone but it was switched off. Hesitantly, she built up the courage to leave the car and enter his building. She knew he lived on the fifth floor but she didn't know which number or letter. She would figure that out when she got up there. There were four doors in the hallway. She looked around and she saw a blue door with the name plate DOUGLAS. Drawing a huge breath, she rang the doorbell and waited nervously.

Realising he had finished the beer in his hand, he decided to have another and forced himself off the couch just as his doorbell rang. Slightly miffed and wondering who would be calling on him this late, he walked to the front door. He opened it and his heart stopped for a second. He didn't expect to see her standing there. She clearly knew and looked upset.

"Come in." He stammered, gesturing her inside.

She followed him into the kitchen and watched as he opened the fridge door and took out a beer.

"Do you want a drink?" He asked without eye contact.

"Yeah, fine, I will just have whatever you're having."

"I have wine if you'd prefer?"

"Anything is fine."

In those awkward moments, she leant in the doorway and watched him. She had almost forgotten how handsome he was and it felt like she was seeing him unconditionally for the first time. His hair was ruffled and messy. He was wearing a loose fitting pair of check pjama bottoms and a white v-neck t-shirt that clung perfectly to his muscle definition. He turned and caught her staring at him as he put the drinks on the table. She felt her cheeks flush slightly.

"You can sit down." He said pulling out a chair.

She sat down and he took the seat across from her. He watched her for a minute as she sat looking down at her glass, rolling the stem between the tips of her fingers.

"So are you going to tell me why you're here?" He said probingly.

She felt a ripple of anger come over her as she took a sip of her wine. "Were you going to tell me that you were leaving?"

Greg paused and knew that his next answer would be brutal but honest.

"No, I thought it would be easier this way."

"Easier for who Greg? Me or you?"

"I thought you would be glad. I know you don't love me – not really. You see, you told me that in the heat of the moment - I understand. I'm just giving you an out. I saw your face when I cornered you. You regretted it."

Sahira thought on this for a minute. Maybe she had said it prematurely when her body was alive with adrenaline but she was sure her judgement wasn't clouded.

She shook her head in denial to his statement. "Just because I said it in the heat of the moment, doesn't make it any less true."

Greg took another drink from his bottle and topped up Sahira's glass.

"You forget something Sahira. I know you. I know your tells. If you did love me, you wouldn't have walked away from me."

"I walked away because you gave me an ultimatum. I asked you for a little time. Now I understand why you gave me that ultimatum. You knew you were leaving. How long have you known exactly?" Anger apparent in her voice.

"I've known for a month or so." He said guiltily.

"You've known all this time and you have the nerve to have a go at me?"

"I'm not leaving entirely because of you. I signed up for the TA a few years back. Well the Army Medical Service side anyway and part of it requires me to complete an active tour of duty. They contacted me before Christmas. They need me to go out to Afghanistan to replace one of the surgeons already out there. They needed someone with my experience. I was originally due to go in early February but I stupidly got drunk on New Years Day and I was still hurt after you had said you didn't want me in your life, so I emailed them and accepted an earlier deployment date. It was a knee-jerk reaction. I knew I had to let you go and the only way I could do that would be from somewhere else. I couldn't handle seeing you every day and not being able to be with you. I never imagined this would happen. At that point, there was nothing to keep me here."

Sahira stared at Greg in shock as an errant tear ran down his cheek. She had never seen him so broken. He downed his bottle of beer, stood up and left the room. She sat alone unsure of what to do. She was still trying to take in what he had told her. After tonight, she may not see him again. She wouldn't accept that. How could she? It was her fault. She closed her eyes remembering the night she had told him that she wished he would just leave her alone and that she didn't need him in her life.

She wondered if the words of anger she spoke at that moment had led her to this one. I think she knew that answer. "Be careful what you wish for." He had said and it was haunting her. It was her fault - all of this was her fault.

She found Greg a few minutes later standing in the dark living room, dimly lit with the flashing images on the muted TV. He was staring out the window.

She walked over and stood alongside him.

"It's snowing again." He said trying to skip over the part where he would have to talk about what he had just divulged to her.

"What are we going to do?" She said sadly, taking his hand in hers.

"I think there is only one thing we can do right now. Stay friends and hope maybe one day it will work out for us." He said half-smiling.

"What if I don't want that." Sahira said angrily. "Why do you get to decide that anyway?"

"Okay. So we start this now, tonight, and I'm leaving in a matter of hours for six months - maybe more. Can you honestly say that is what you want? Talking to me on the phone every few weeks - if that. That feeling of panic every time you turn on the TV - see the news about more soldiers being killed and wondering if you're going to get that call. I don't want you to go through that. Let's face it, our timing is way off."

Sahira let go of his hand and walked off to sit down feeling slightly faint, as the harshness of his words penetrated her.

"I will always love you Sahira but I have to be realistic about our chances right now. I could ask you to wait for me but even that isn't fair. A lot can change, you might move on or you could reconcile with Rafi. I might come back a completely different person - who knows? I know I didn't see what has happened in the last week coming."

"You can't make that decision for me Greg, that is mine to make. "

"You don't think this is killing me? I have waited a long time for you to finally admit that you love me and the moment you do, I have to break my own heart as well as yours."

Sahira sat in silence in the reality they were never going to reach a solution to this hopeless situation. She understood for the first time why he had chosen to leave without saying goodbye and she felt helpless. Deep in thought, she hadn't noticed he had sat down beside her. He pulled her into an embrace as she cried on his shoulder. He knew what he had said was more for her benefit. He was trying to be selfless but truthfully, he wanted her to fight against it and be with him anyway.

He sat holding her for a while before realising he had become quite tired. He had no idea what time it was but it must have been nearing midnight, if not after. He knew for tonight, they had reached an impasse. There was nothing left to talk about.

"Sahira." He said quietly, as he kissed her head. "I think we should call it a night. We are both tired and I have a long day tomorrow.''

She nodded silently in agreement.

"You can't drive home. I will sleep on the sofa and you can sleep in my bed."

"Its fine, I will sleep here. I won't let you give up your bed. Not when it might be your last night in it. I will just watch some telly until I fall asleep anyway."

"If you're sure?" He said sincerely.

Sahira nodded as Greg got up to find a blanket and some pillows for her. He returned a few minutes later and laid them down for her.

"Do you need something to sleep in."

"No it's fine, this will do fine."

"Okay, well, night then." He said awkwardly kissing her on the forehead.

"Night. Sleep well." She replied with equal awkwardness.

Greg disappeared down the hall out of sight. Sahira felt profound sadness knowing he was sleeping just a few feet away from her and she had squandered her chance to tell him how she really felt. She went there to tell him she loved him and fight for him but not once throughout their whole discussion had she done that. She had let him dictate that it was over before it had begun. She had sat there in silence when she should have screamed at him to let her in, let her take that risk. Surely it was better to have this time rather than none at all.

Greg lay awake watching the snow fill up the bottom of his window frame. He was tired but he was also extremely aware Sahira was only in the next room. He had forced the conclusion of their predicament on her. As he tossed and turned, he was trying to convince himself this was for the best and she would be better off - despite how he felt now he thought about it. Who was he kidding, he couldn't let her go. He loved her to the point that it hurt.

Greg jumped slightly as he heard a knock on his bedroom door. He sat up and walked over to the door. Sahira was standing in front of him wearing only her shirt. His heart skipped a little but when he looked at her face, he could tell she was struggling with what she wanted to say.

"Whats wrong?" He said concerned.

"I don't want to lie here knowing you're only a few feet away in another room alone. I don't want to miss this chance to hold you, not knowing if this might be the only chance I will get."

"I don't want to be alone either, as much as I need to let you go. I can't. Not just yet."

To Be Continued...