I really shouldn't be writing right now since it's nearly three in the morning here, but you know what? Fuck it lol.
I hope you guys enjoy this update! There are a few things I have planned here. A small amount of foreshadowing being thrown in for your enjoyment... Or torture. Either way.
Much love, my friends!
"You can always back out of this." I wrapped an arm around Claire as we made our way toward the tour bus together.
"I already told you." She turned her head toward me and flashed me an excited smile. "I'm all in on this." I smiled in reply as she wrapped an arm around my middle. "Even then, someone has to carry on the tradition." She tugged at the shirt she was wearing. My smile grew slightly as I knew what she was implying by the gesture.
Ever since my first tour, I always wore one of the tour shirt designs that the record company had me pick from. It was a small tradition, but once that I held dear to my heart since I first started performing for the masses. It was my way of showcasing that I was just as excited as the fans for what was to come.
But instead of me wearing it this time around, I gave Claire to option instead and I don't regret it a damn thing.
It was a little large on her, sure, but she was smart enough to find her way around it. A hair tie was enough to allow her to bundle the hem onto the one side loose enough to not ruin the shirt but tight enough to make it not look like a tent on her smaller torso. The designs I chose for the concert shirts have always been simple, but the one she had on was probably my favorite of the bunch. The fabric itself was a simple black as the tour name "When You're Ready" danced across her chest in big white letters as my last name was in electric blue hue while it wrapped around a royal blue rose in the center of the shirt.
There was something intimate about the gesture that I can't really describe. Why? I have no clue but now I understand why the football players in high school would always have their girlfriends wearing their jerseys or letterman jackets.
"Nevada's first, right?"
"Yup." She wrapped an arm around the lower part of my back as I flashed her a large smile. "Hope you enjoy long bus rides."
"Like in our old high school days?" She giggled a little at the statement as she brought herself closer to my side. "Most definitely!"
"Alright love birds," Toby gave us a small smile as he gestured to our normal tour bus. "There some rules. No having sex in the seats, don't be canoodling in front of the crew, and please don't be disgustingly adorable. Okay? Okay." I rolled eyes at him as Claire just leaned up against me and placed a quick kiss on my cheek. I pulled her closer to my side as I shot him a large smile. "You know what? Just keep it on the down-low. You two will just continue anyway."
"What? Gotta make up for lost time." I smiled at her words as she both of her arms now around my middle.
"I agree."
"You two are extra as hell."
"Only together." Claire giggled a little at me as I let her go to let her onto the bus.
"Seriously though, dude." Toby stopped me before I could follow her. "Don't get distracted. The label agreed to Claire coming as long as this is the best show you give to the audience."
"I'll give the best I can no matter what." I gave him a wide smile as I took my first step onto the bus. "I've got you and Claire to perform for anyway. Gotta make it my best." I slapped him on the shoulder with a chuckle as we both made our way onto the bus together.
"And we'll do everything we can to make sure of it."
You would think that the first day of performing on tour is ecstatic. It's electrifying. Full of energy and jitters that build up within your system until the time you actually step out onto the stage and perform your heart out for the first time on your tour calendar.
I pulled my earpiece out as I made my way off the stage from the soundcheck.
But when you've done this as long as I have, it starts becoming everyone being nervous wrecks while you're just trying to make sure everyone is calm before the performance.
Don't get me wrong, I love tours. Performing for the people that allow me to do what I love is something that makes me feel like everything is right in the world. Hearing them sing along to songs I know they understand and feel just as much as I did writing them nearly brings me to tears each time I hear it.
But the tech guys running around with their head cut off, Toby being an anxious wreck trying to make everything perfect, the poor roadies and bandmates chosen for the tour acting as if they only have one shot at this always makes me feel as if it's not as fair on them. It always made me saddened knowing that, yes, I'm the one singing. I'm the one that wrote the songs and everything, but they are the ones that make it possible and it's not fair that no one else sees it. I always have Tobes give them bonuses out of the money I get from all of this, but I doubt that's enough of a thank you for all of them.
"You look calm for someone I know would always lose his mind hours before he performed." I smiled at Claire as she walked up toward me. She decided to put herself, in her words, to good use while we were doing the soundcheck by helping out the outfit and make-up people with their scurrying around to get everything perfect before the show.
This is ironic since I almost always wear the same thing when I perform so having a whole outfit and make-up department never made any sense to me.
"I stopped freaking out after I played at Madison."
"Oh, I remember you calling me that night. You couldn't sleep due to how excited you were."
"Honestly, I'm still not over it." She gave me a simple smile as I felt her wrap her arms around my neck once she got close enough.
"I wouldn't either. Madison's a big deal especially since you accomplished getting a gig there at only eighteen." She leaned up and placed a quick kiss on my cheek as I wrapped my arms around her in reply. "Still proud of you as ever, by the way."
"I wouldn't have been able to do it if it wasn't for you and Tobes. I was losing my mind."
"Oh trust me. I know. You almost gave my ass a panic attack with how nervous you were. Couldn't blame you though."
"Wasn't as nervous as I was when we ended up together."
"You didn't feel nervous." She gave me a large smirk as I had a blush take over my cheeks.
"Did you seem to forget us acting like nervous teenagers for a solid ten minutes or are you just glossing over that because you were nervous for once in your life?"
"As my mother would say, a Nuñez is never nervous."
"You felt pretty nervous to me." I gave her a smirk in reply as she just unwrapped one of her arms so she had a hand to slap me in the shoulder with.
"Shush."
"Aw, come on. You can't say I was wrong."
"Doesn't mean you had to say it."
"Nuñez never nervous my ass." I chuckled at her as she smacked my shoulder once more.
"Asshole."
"Love you too, Nuñez." She looked up toward me with wide eyes as I realized what exactly I had said. I gave a small airy laugh as I saw the shock in her eyes. "I said that too soon didn't I?" Instantly, Claire pushed forward and placed her lips on mine. She pulled me close to her by my jacket collar. I tightened my grip on her in return as I kissed her back until she pulled back suddenly.
"Nothing is too sudden for us." She smiled at me as she pressed her forehead against mine. "I love you too." I felt a smile spread across my face like a fool as I leaned in suddenly to capture hers once more. After we pulled apart once more, we just kept smiling toward one another like lovesick teenagers.
"Jesus. You two look like you're on some kind of honeymoon instead of a tour." I turned my attention over toward Toby as I pulled Claire into a tight hug as her head found itself onto my left shoulder.
"Feels like it, honestly." Claire giggled gently against my neck as I leaned my cheek on top of her head.
"Wonderful. But we've got a show guys in t-minus three hours. We need to get ourselves together here." I brought my head back up as I looked toward Claire with a smirk.
"I think we're pretty together. Don't you think?"
"I think we're perfectly together." She placed another quick kiss on my lips, but I recaptured her lips almost as soon as she pulled away from me. From the smile she had on her lips, I could tell she was okay with it though.
"Well if you two can be perfectly together in your dressing room and get ready for the show, that would be great." I felt Claire unwrap one of her arms as she was more than likely flipping off Toby like she did to her friends a few months ago. "HEY! Don't give me that gesture, young lady!" I felt her re-wrap her arms around me as we deepened our kiss. "Okay, I get it. Have fun with each other, but you better be ready by showtime, mister!" With that, Toby fleeted away from both of us. After it was apparent he was gone, we pulled apart from each other to share soft smiles.
"I guess we should get you ready, huh?" I unwrapped my arms around her so I could reach up and cup her face.
"I think we can wait a little bit, don't you think?" She smiled at this as she leaned ever so slightly closer to me.
"You're a terrible influence."
"As always." We pumped out noses gently together as she tightened her grip on my jacket.
"I never minded it." We leaned in together to capture each other's lips once more. But after a few seconds, we pulled apart once more to have Claire gently tugging me toward the dressing room. "Come on, let's get you ready before Toby comes ruining the fun again." I allowed her to pull me along as I kept a content smile on my face.
Honestly, I would get in trouble for you any day, Nuñez.
"I never understood having a dressing room when I always wear the same stuff when performing." I smiled at Claire as I slipped my guitar strap over my head so it settled onto my left shoulder. She walked up to me and fixed my tank-top since the guitar strap wrinkled it a little.
"Don't fix what's not broken." She leaned forward and pressed her lips to my cheek for what felt like the hundredth time today. "Nervous?"
"Not really." I placed my hands on her waist as I rubbed my thumbs gently on her sides. I couldn't help but give her a lopsided smile as she placed her hands onto my shoulders. Her hazel eyes looked at me with such pride that it made my confidence swell within my chest.
"So I'm the only thing that can make you nervous now?" I chuckled at her a little as my smile grew slightly.
"Are you proud of yourself?"
"Oh, of fucking course, Lake." Her arms looped themselves around my neck as gave a small laugh of her own in return. "But I'm more proud of you." She gave me a sweet smile as she continued. "You've come so far since the first time I saw you sing in front of a crowd. A lot more comfortable than you were at the battle of the bands in sophomore year." I couldn't help but blush a little at the memory of my first real performance.
"Claire, I don't think I can do this."
"You can and I won't let you give up so easily."
"And what if I mess up? What if I forget my own words, Claire? What is I fail like at everything fucking else?" She placed a hand under my chin as she forced me to look her in the eyes.
"James Lake Junior, you will not fail, you will not forget the words to your song, and you most definitely won't mess up. If you get anxious, just look toward me, okay? I'll be right here. Just treat it like we're back at your house and you're just singing for fun." I swallowed hard as I looked deep into her eyes. They looked at me with this sense of confidence that I wish I could have within myself at that moment as I held the fretboard of my guitar in a death grip. "If it gets too much, just look to me, okay?" I nodded once as I felt a little bit more at ease.
"Next up, Jim Lake!" Claire gave me a sweet smile as she dropped her hand from my chin so she could place both her hands onto my shoulders.
"You've got this."
"I've got this." She patted my shoulders once as her smile widened.
"That's the Jim I know." I gave her a smile in return as she dropped her hands from me. "Now give them one hell of a show." I nodded once to her before turning toward the stage with a smile.
Ever since, whenever I would get nervous, I would remind myself of that moment. Remember that no matter what, I had people that backed me. That would stand beside me even if I tripped up or messed up my own lyrics. No matter what, I had family and friends to pick me up when I fall.
Most of all, though.
I smiled as I pulled Claire into a loose hug.
I always had someone that believed in me more than I ever could.
A knock came to the dressing room door before a head peeped in.
"T-minus thirty minutes. Better make your way to the wings." With that, the blonde-haired man that popped into the room was gone as he closed the door with a soft click behind him.
"Ready?" I whispered to Claire as I leaned my head against hers.
"I should be asking you that." I chuckled at her as we pulled ourselves out of the hug to make our way out of the dressing room.
"I'll take that as a yes then."
"Remember the setlist, right?" I nodded my head as Toby spoke. My hand in Claire's as he gave me the normal run down. "Good." My best friend gave me a large smile before reaching out to place a hand on my right shoulder. "Knock 'em dead, Jimbo." I gave him a large smile in return as I felt Claire squeeze my hand gently.
"Don't push yourself too hard though. You got a whole list of cities to give a show they'll never forget to." I leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek as I heard our announcer speak over the loudspeakers.
"I won't, but I'll give them the best I can give. No matter what." She giggled at that as she gripped my hand a little tighter.
"That's my boy." I slipped out of her grip with a smile as I started making my way toward the stage. Toby yelling out toward me more words of encouragement.
"YOU'VE GOT THIS MATE! START THIS TOUR WITH A BANG!" I flashed a smile toward him over my shoulder as I started to feel the stage lights caress my skin like they always did. A swirl of confidence filling my being as I heard the announcer call my name over the loudspeakers.
"EVERYONE! PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR JIM LAKE!" I heard the crowd roar as they always did as I opened my arms wide while reaching my mic. I smiled toward the crowd of nearly faceless figures due to the blinding lights, but only one thought filled my mind.
Start with a bang, I will.
"People are already calling this your best show yet." I hummed in reply as Claire placed her head onto my chest. Together we were taking over one of the reclining chairs of the tour bus and using it as a makeshift bed as we laid there together.
"Really?" She hummed in reply this time as she showed me her phone. A picture of me singing and playing my guitar was at the top of the website she was on as the title 'We Weren't Ready For Jim Lake's Best Performance Yet'. "Those cheesy bastards. I won't who came up with that title." She giggled at that as she brought her phone back to her.
"I don't know, but I think they believe they're a clever one."
"Anything else being said about it?"
"Well, besides people finding on I'm here with you, not really." I gave her a confused look as she turned her phone back toward me. A picture of Claire and me heading toward the tour bus back in Los Angles with her in my tour shirt was under bold letters saying 'The Jlaire Tour We Always Wanted'.
"Okay, now that one is from a cheesy fucker." Claire laughed wholeheartedly at this as she brought her phone back to her once more.
"Honestly, I still can't get over the ship name. Personally, I think Luñez rolls off the tongue better."
"I hate to agree to any ship name, but yeah. I like Luñez better. Doesn't make me feel like I have cotton balls in my mouth while I try to say it."
"Exactly!" I chuckled at her as she got a ding from her phone. She read over it rather quickly as her smile fell from her lips almost instantly.
"What's wrong?"
"Found out why the director dropped me."
"What for?"
"Darci just told me that they reoffered the movie to her as long as I broke up with you." I gave her a shocked look as she continued. "The director's reasoning being, 'I don't want my film out-shined by media drama'. She already told him to, and I'm quoting her here, fuck off before I could myself."
"But that's stupid. Why would us dating cause any issues with his film?" She shrugged at this as she flipped her phone into her jeans so she could lay back down on top of me.
"I don't know and I don't care. Any film that's telling me to give up my own happiness for it can fuck right off." She wrapped her arms around me as she placed her head back down onto my chest. "I would rather die, honestly." I smiled at her as I snaked my arms around her in return. Holding her closer to me as I let out a content sigh.
"I would too. If the record company told me tomorrow that they would drop me because of you, I would sign myself right over to whatever place would take me instead."
"And that is one of the reasons I love you." I felt my smile widen on my face as I tighten my hold on her as if I let her go within that moment, then she would disappear.
"I love you too." I tilted my head to place a simple kiss on the top of her head as I felt a wave of tiredness take over my body. "I love you too." The words this time coming out of me like a content sigh as I closed my eyes gently.
No matter what, I'll always have Claire to come back to. It doesn't matter how many times I fall apart, she'll always be there to put me together.
I felt her tuck her head under my chin as she let out a content sigh of her own.
Movie deals, record contracts, or not. We'll always be there for each other.
Always.