[Combat, I'm ready for combat. I say I don't want that, but what if I do? Cause cruelty wins in the movies. I've got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you. Easy they come, easy they go. I jump from the rain, I ride off alone. I never grew up, its getting so old. Help me hold on to you.]

Mark slowly ran his hands along the curves of Addison's body. Her porcelain skin was smooth and soft, he couldn't stop touching her. Well, they couldn't stop touching each other. It had been a month since they added sex to their relationship and since then it seemed like they couldn't stop. They couldn't get enough of each other. They would good together. Sexually, obviously, that connection they always had. But now, now it was so much more. They had an emotional connection, they were bonded. At least that's how Mark felt. He hoped that Addison felt the same, or would grow to.

"My therapist wants me to talk to you." Addison said suddenly. Mark laid kisses on her bare shoulder, keeping his attention more focused on her rather then what she was saying.

"Yeah? About?"

"The assault."

That got Mark to halt his motions. It was the last thing he was expecting her to say. His attention immediately went from what he was doing to what she was saying. Addison didn't like talking about that night. Most the time she avoided the subject completely, then if it got brought up she would say as a little as possible.

"Addison, you don't have to.."

"I do. But I also want to...I need to..."

"I know you don't like talking about it, I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"I'm going to be uncomfortable. Its not an easy subject. But you were there that night...and it was a turning point for us...so we're kinda like in this together, and it important for me to open up to you..."

"Is that what your therapist said?"

"Yes. And she's right."

Mark sits up in bed, pulling Addison into his arms and allowing her to relax against him. Addison allowed a moment a silence between them so she could gather her thoughts and work up the courage to speak up. She took a deep, shaky breath before she started.

"I was drunk that night. Really, stupid drunk. So when that man followed me out...I did nothing...I knew something was wrong but I was too drunk to do anything, too drunk to care. He followed me into the hotel and pushed me into my room and then everything just happened so fast, but seemed so still at the same time. When he finally left nothing seemed real, I felt so lost...and broken...disgusting..."

Addison paused to fight off the tears that were forming in her eyes. Mark could feel her tense up so he held her closer, rubbing circles on her back in attempts to calm her.

"I knew I needed help, I needed someone...and you were the only person that came to mind. It should have been Derek, we were married for 11 years, but it was you. It was always you. You were then one that has always kept me safe, you were the one that always showed up, you were the one that always stayed by my side. I don't know why you stayed, I've been terrible to you. I was awful to you in New York, its no wonder why you cheated. I've been awful to you here and you're still here with me..."

"Addison I-"

"Let me finish, I need to finish, you need to hear this. I know I've thank you before for helping me these past several months. But you don't understand how much you have. You were such an important part of me healing. You were truly the only hope I had. Slowly you showed how to be myself again..you showed me how to live again..how to love again. You think that it was just dinners and movies and holding me, but it was so much more to me, Mark. It solid ground for me to land when I was falling, it was light in the darkness, it was a safe place, you were my safe place. I wouldn't have gotten through this without you."

Mark kisses then top of her head. "You give me too much credit and don't give yourself enough. You're a badass Addison, you're the strongest woman I've ever met. You got through it, I just helped."

Addison looks up at him, placing her hand against his cheek and rubbing her thumb against his skin.

"I love those ocean eyes of yours, Red."

"I love you."

Mark stared with disbelief. He's wanted to hear those three words from her for so long, he just wasn't expecting them. She loved him. Addison Forbes Montgomery was in love with him. A big smile took hold of his lips and Addison giggled, slightly blushes at his speechless response.

"Wait, what?!"

"I love you Mark."

"You what?"

"I. Love. You."

"I'm sorry, one more time."

Addison smiled and rolls her eyes. "I'm going to take it back."

"Nope. You can't."

"I can, and I will."

"Nope, sorry Red, that's not how it works." Mark said with a smug smile on his face.

[I've been the archer, I've been the prey. Who could ever leave me darling, but who could stay? Dark side, I search for your dark side. But what if I'm alright right here? And I cut off my nose just to spite my face, then I hate my reflection for years and years.]

Mark was late. It was date night and he was late. He was suppose to be home two hours ago but Addison still hadn't heard from him. She went from staring at the clock to staring at her phone as she sipped on her glass of red wine. Where was he?! Why wasn't he home?!

Finally, she heard the door unlock, Mark was home.

"Hey Addie, sorry I'm late."

"Don't 'Addie' me! Where the hell have you been?!"

"I was in surgery."

"I called and texted you!"

"Surgery ran long, there were complications. You know how that goes."

"You were suppose to be home over two hours ago!"

"Addison. I just told you why I was late. Why are you so mad?"

"We had plans!"

"I know, and I'm sorry. But you know how work gets, we can reschedule Red."

Mark reached out to her but she moved away. Addison knew she was being irrational. Her mind was screaming at her to stop, to back off, to just apologize and let it go. However, she did the exact opposite. Her fear was louder then her reason. Because though the rational part of her brain told her that he was in surgery, and told her that she understand because she had been there several times before, the irrational part of her brain told her that he was cheating, that he was in an on-call room with one of the nurses. Or rather that her saying 'I love you' freaked him. Her fear was talking too loud for her to not act crazy. And as much as Addison hated to admit it (and right now she was refusing to, at least out loud to Mark), she was acting crazy.

"What the hell Addison?!"

"I was waiting for you!"

"I said I was sorry! You can't be mad at me for working!"

"Were you really working?!"

"Whats that suppose to mean?"

"You weren't off fucking some girl were you?!"

"Seriously?!"

"Were you?!"

"Where is this coming from?!"

"You're not answering my question!"

"No! I wasn't fucking anyone! I was working!"

"I don't believe you!"

"What the fuck Addison!"

"Don't lie to me!"

"I'm not lying! What is going on? Where is this coming from? I thought we were good?"

Addison places her hands on her hips, taking a deep breath to try to keep herself from crying, which was slowly failing. She wanted to stand her ground, hoping that eventually her crazy out burst would make sense, but it wasn't. It wasn't making any sense at all. It was actually just making her look crazier.

Her pause of words encourage Mark to try to reach out again. He hesitantly put his hand on her shoulder, when she didn't protest he tried more. He brushed her hair away from her face to see her expression. Seeing the tear she was fighting back, his anger faded away and turned to concern.

"Addie...talk to me, whats going on?"

"I don't want to get hurt..."

"What do you mean?" Mark asked, his fingers still playing with he hair.

"I can't think when you do that.." Addison said softly, a small smile taking hold of her lips.

Mark softly chuckles, moving his hand from her hair to her cheek. "Look at me and tell me whats going on Red."

"I told you I love you and I got scared. I know you were working, I know how surgery is. But you were late and I started over thinking. I started thinking about New York and what happened with Derek, and what happened with us, and what happened with Derek here in Seattle and I just started freaking out because I can't get hurt again. You can't break my heart."

"Addison..."

"I love you Mark, please don't break my heart."

Mark pulls her into a hug, kissing the top on her head and gently rubbing her back.

"Addison Forbes Montgomery, I am so fucking in love with you, I'm not gonna mess it up this time."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

[I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost. The room is on fire, invisible smoke. And all of my heroes die all alone, help me hold on to you. I've been the archer, I've been the prey. Who could ever leave me darling, but who could stay.]

A couple weeks later Addison found herself spending the morning in front of the toilet bowl. Again. This was the fifth day in a row she had woken up sick. If that wasn't a painful give away to her circumstance then the extra exhaustion, sensitivity to smell and extra moodiness was. She flushed the toilet and leaned back against the bathroom wall, cursing Mark's name under her breath and thanking his extra early schedule this week for allowing him to miss her early morning sickness.

Addison had planned out her life when she was a little girl. From a young age she knew she wanted to be a doctor, she wanted to get married to Mr. Right, have a big house where they would start a family. She wanted that picture perfect life. So far, from that plan, her career was the only thing she had. Her marriage went to shit, she lost both big homes she had and was currently living in a damn hotel. And, the cherry on top, she was pregnant with Mark Sloans baby.

Yup. Mark Sloan got her pregnant. Again.

[Cause they see right through me, can you see right through me? They see right through, I see right through. All the kings horses, all the kings men couldn't put me together again. Cause all of my enemies started out friends, help me hold on to you. I've been the archer, I've been the prey. Who could ever leave me darling, but who could stay...]