Note ... we must all remember that this was originally written for fun and not necessarily as something cohesive to build an actual story ... there is some ducking behind buildings, parked cars, and other objects that offer concealment without necessarily offering cover (I can explain later if someone wants to know).

Your acceptance of this piece has been inspiring, humbling, and amazing. It has been a while since some of us felt anyone cared about our characters and our spin on this particular corner of the universe.

Humble thanks on behalf of Kevan and me for letting us come out and play. Next week there will be one of the promised outtakes.

Disclaimer ... no MM were actually harmed in the making of this piece, nor were they permanently scarred. Oh, and no money changed hands. We do know that Lester is willing to sign his autograph at the location of his choosing. Clothing will be optional. Handcuffs and wooden spoons are NOT optional, they will be mandatory.

18 If Handcuffs Could Talk

A Collaborative Effort by Marilyn (Ranger Hunters) and Kevan

Uploaded by Alfonsina.d

Disappear (Steph)

Silence greeted my announcement that I needed to disappear. It stretched for seconds that seemed like minutes, or hours. I waited, fighting the urge to hold my breath, hoping the person on the other end of the phone call would respond and not just hang up.

"Disappear," I reiterated. "Not get away for a while. I want to vanish. Totally. Completely. To everyone."

A deep breath, then, "Where are you?"

Tension I hadn't been aware of ran out of my body and I slumped back in the chair. Zeus shot me a disapproving cat glare, turned around in my lap, and then settled back down although not without a disdainful twitch of an ear. "At Tank's."

"Go home," the voice ordered. "Get rid of the rat or perishables or plants or anything else that won't survive without attention. Don't bother to pack. I'll pick you up in an hour."

I stared at my phone, now producing only silence. So much for tact and manners but then what had I expected?

You can still turn back, my inner child said. You don't have to do this. So, Ranger's a totally selfish opportunist. He never lied to you, never told you different, never promised you moonbeams and rainbows and happily ever after. Want someone to blame? Look in the mirror, Denial Girl. There are lots of men in the world. There's no need to go to extremes. Denial Land is waiting.

I shook my head even though there was no one to see. Nope. I was through with Denial Land. I stood up, lifting Zeus in my arms and giving him a hug. The feeling it might be a long time before I had another hug washed through me, scary and tingly and liberating all at once. I detoured into the kitchen to fish out a couple of treats for Zeus, who accepted them with more enthusiasm than dignity, then left Tank's house, closing the door firmly behind me.

xoxox

An hour later—exactly—I opened the door to a nondescript tan sedan and slid into the front passenger seat. As my apartment building faded into the distance behind me, I wondered idly how long the jar of olives—now the lone resident of the refrigerator—would last. A look at the driver revealed nothing but a calm façade. I asked no questions. Hey, I asked for help and I had no idea how to accomplish my desired disappearance so I might as well trust my guide, right?

The short ride ended at the train station.

Huh?

"Take the train to the city. Go to this address." The driver passed me a piece of paper and a key.

A quick glance told me that, in addition to the address, there were directions on which subway lines and stations I needed to use.

"Here."

I took the proffered bag and peered inside. A hat, wig, sunglasses, a purse that was much smaller than mine, and a jacket.

"Put them on after you get to the city and shove your hair up under the hat. It's not a full disguise, just enough to make it difficult if anyone tries to track you. I'll be there later tonight and we'll work on something better. Do not use any credit card, debit card, or ATM card that you have—nothing that can be tracked after you leave here. Give me your phone."

I hesitated.

My helper waited patiently.

Okay, you decided to do this so do it. I handed over my phone and got a burner phone in return.

"Don't use it unless you have to. I'll call when I'm almost there tonight. You won't recognize the number I'll be calling from. If it rings, answer and don't say anything unless you recognize my voice."

I nodded, slipped out of the car, and headed into the station with nothing more than the clothes on my back, the shoes on my feet, my purse, and the bag with my disguise.

xoxoxox

"Isn't this overkill?" I asked, not for the first time. The previous four hours had been a whirlwind of activity and orders, with the end result that I had a new ID, a different haircut and color, and was wearing an outfit that was totally unlike any I owned although I liked it—a lot.

"You serious about disappearing?" My helper demanded.

"Absolutely."

"Then you have to leave yourself behind. Ranger is not going to take you vanishing well. He's going to want to know where you went and why."

After what I'd seen—and heard—in Ranger's bed I seriously doubted that, but I was not going to go into those details.

"You disappear; do it all the way. If you really don't want to be found, you pay attention to details. Double for you because remember that if Ranger is looking for you that means Mal is looking for you."

I felt the blood drain from my face. Cold swept through my body. I hadn't considered Mal. Malware could do the cyber equivalent of tracking a ghost through fog. I'd seen him work seeming miracles finding people who didn't want to be found. Phone records? Mal didn't even have to be fully awake to get those. Use your credit card? Mal would know what you bought, including details like size and color before you finished the purchase. Getting ATM camera footage was child's play. Visit a doctor and Mal would know the diagnosis and any prescriptions in short order. He had ways into mass transit security video and facial recognition systems. I so did not need Mal to have anything to home in on and use to track me. Stifling any further protests or doubts, I shoved the two changes of clothes I'd acquired into my new backpack and asked for further tips on disappearing, altering my appearance and habits, and vanishing.

xoxox

"Gift for you."

My helper handed me a bracelet.

Eyes widening, I took it and turned it over, running a finger admiringly over the richly detailed metal.

"What do you know about Mayan culture?"

Mayan? What? Reality was definitely far behind me now. "Uh, nothing?"

A quiet laugh. A finger pointed out symbols on the bracelet. "Start with this one. Use every third one, going counterclockwise. Translate from these Mayan number symbols to English—look online—and it's a phone number that will reach me—safely and untraceably. Use only in emergency."

Tears threatened at the knowledge that I would have—however slender—a lifeline should I need one.

xoxox

Opening the door of yet another nondescript car—this one grey—I put one foot on the ground then turned back to the driver. "I know you have your own reasons for helping me besides me asking but I owe you. I never expected this much." Deep breath. New life waiting Wonder Woman. I swiveled and put both feet on the ground then looked back. Digging in my new backpack, I extracted a set of handcuffs and handed them to the driver. My partner in crime. My helper.

Unable to resist, I grinned. "Take these and go see Macy. And Breeze? Thanks."

The car door shut behind me and I slung the backpack over one shoulder, feeling lighter and freer than I remembered feeling in a long time, maybe ever. I am Wonder Woman, Rocky, and the 1980 Olympic hockey team all in one fantastic being.

I strode into the night. Into the future.

Endnote

That's all folks!

I hope you've enjoyed this crazy ride in the bad boys' amusement park that Marilyn and I created, and that you laughed half as much reading as we did writing. Since this was written in pieces as ideas occurred to us rather than as a story, there are many gaps in the 'story' and characterization inconsistencies and unfinished ideas. When Marilyn was no longer able to continue, I looked through the pieces and put them in the best temporal order I could before saving it to my Unfinished Tales folder. That is what Alf has shared.

For those expecting—or wanting—a cohesive, well-plotted, consistent, complete story with a HEA ending, well, you've already figured out this is not that. If you enjoy wildly unpredictable escapades that push your limits and broaden your horizons and are in no way meant to be taken seriously, then this may be that.

Some ideas that M and I thought about, even wrote a bit on some of them, but never finished:

· Do the guys do anything to Steph and/or the 'girls night out' crew and, if so, what?

· What does Steph do to Breeze or have him do for her as long as she has that video? Do the guys notice?

· Do the guys find out about Breeze's romp with Macy and Kat? What is their revenge?

· Does Mal continue to visit Rav and Az? What about Bobby?

· What happens during Lester's next timeout? (You know there's going to be one.)

· Are there any repercussions to Kat?

· What part did the handcuffs play in building the Ultimate Rangeman?

· Who was in Ranger's bed in Eyes Open and what is that backstory? (Yes, M and I know that answer, just never got around to writing it.)

· What happens to Steph during her time away? Does she meet someone? Maybe an old lover of Ranger's (male or female)?

· What happens when Steph gets back to town? Or does she return?

No, Marilyn and I had no idea how the encounters between Ranger and Morelli began. We just thought the idea of them together intimately—with both being involved with Steph—was funny. Yes, I know our sense of humor, like Rav's and Lester's, is warped. That is Handcuffs. No ongoing, main storyline. No continuity. Just some wild ideas that floated through and grabbed our attention and we ran with them. Half the time we would be talking about one idea and something would prompt another idea and off we would go on that bunny trail, sometimes to return to the original but not always. Total chaos and fun.

So, I have a challenge for you. Write those missing bits! The ones above or the ones I missed or the ones Marilyn and I never thought of—the ones several of you have referenced in comments. Have fun with the guys, drop them into more crazy situations. Just no permanent damage, please? I'm rather fond of the guys. If you do write another Handcuffs bit, I would love to read.

I like this darkly dominant Ranger, looking out for himself. What drives him? What is his true nature? What experiences molded him? We never wrote a scene from his POV. Hmmm…. That could be interesting but, then again, there is nothing more enticing than mystery.

Special thanks and kudos to Alf for suggesting this collection of scenes be shared and for posting them. She also deserves credit for the idea behind Summons which was a vague idea from an earlier bit that Marilyn and I never developed. Well, Alf and I were talking one day and Abuela Rosa stepped forward, wielding a wooden spoon. Alf also deserves credit for prompting me to add Disappear.

A mega-sized 'Thank You' to everyone who took the time to leave a review. Alf, awesome person that she is, forwarded them all to me. As I read them, I relived the enjoyment Marilyn and I shared as we talked and plotted—and laughed like hyenas. I admit there were a few times when I shed a tear after reaching for my phone to share something with Marilyn only to remember I can't do that anymore.

In this shitshow that is 2020, stay safe, stay sane. Tell those you love that you love them. Reach out to old friends. Keep smiling. Keep laughing. Take 30 seconds every day to breathe and to look at or think of something that makes you happy.

Love you, M. Miss you. Damn, we had fun writing this, didn't we? Have a margarita and, if you have more ideas, send me a dream.

Kevan

xoxox

Alf here ... looking for possible additional outtakes and your takes on outtakes ... because Santa had a hard year and is looking for presents for us all.

Again, thank you all for reading, following, and commenting.