It's just not happening. There will be no face reveal, but believe me when I tell you, I'm not Stephenie Meyer. It has to be obvious; she writes better details than me and can put her plots together in a better formation than I can. All rights to the twilight saga, and these characters go to Stephenie Meyers, except Malia, she's mine…. Enjoy!(:
Chapter 28: Comparison
The woods were unreal at this time of the night. The sounds of the bats fluttering from limb to limb, the quiet flite of an owl soaring past tree through the trees, causing the branches to shift. The raccoons rummaging in the bramble to find a quick snack. The opossums climbing up the trees at night, breaking down bark to the forest floor during their venture up the trunks. The deer darting quickly past the trees from the different noises that were causing them a fright, and the prey rushing from predator, over the leaves and twigs, running to their hideaways in the night. But it was quiet; quiet as the woods could be at night. The air was damp and sticky, along with the moss that squished underneath the footing of the nocturnal. And then there was me, asleep along the boulders, until the rain poured.
My grey sweater no longer was keeping me warm. It was drenched in the cold rain that seeped into the fibers, and the sea air that flowed through the cold breeze clung to my skin and hair. I was no longer asleep at this point as the rain poured onto me, and the drops puddled up on the ridges of the boulder. I sat up, looking around. It could've only been past midnight and Charlie must be having a fit wondering where I am. I looked around but couldn't see much. It was much too dark to try to wander around at this point. I haven't seen or heard any of the pack running by, so I'm almost positive I walked too far past the perimeter. I'm really hoping Charlie hasn't called Billy. He would be furious to know that I'm in the woods at this time of the night, considering he directly told me not to be.
There was no point for me to get up and walk around. I completely have lost sense of direction from where I entered the woods, and which routes and turns I had taken to get to this area. I wasn't scared, but I was scared for Charlie's sake. Harry's heart attack has taken a bit of a toll on my mind. Making me worry about Charlie's health. I haven't done exactly the best to prevent any issues, such as the meals I was cooking. I could switch over from beef to chicken and add more vegetables into his diet. He won't like it too much, but it's a start. Can't quit him cold turkey, but him worrying about me is what worries me the most. Stress can't be good on anyone, especially when it comes to your kid. I am eighteen now, a legal adult who can make their own decisions, although he doesn't treat me as such. I had to get a start; any direction is a good direction. If I run into the cliffs, or near a sandy shore, that just means I went the wrong way.
It is only past midnight, so Jake should still be running his course on the perimeter. I came out here on a mission to find him, to confront him. What am I supposed to do, this is ridiculous? I felt my way around the boulder, trying to find a stable area to push myself from. The rock was slippery from the wet moss and the puddles forming on it. I pushed myself off with one arm, balancing myself. I moved my leg down and my grip on the boulder slipped, and my shoulder landed against the piece of large rock, singing it. My body then continued to slide down, landing on my knees on the flat sheet of rock next to it that laid low to the forest floor.
"SHIT!" I shouted, holding onto my shoulder and my knee. It seemed a little grazed, and I could smell a small amount of iron radiating off my skin. I must've torn my skin.
I stood back up, trying to rebalance myself. I tried rethinking the way I came. The boulder was to my north when I walked to it, and I sat down on it facing west, so my destination would have to take me to the left of the boulder from where I stood. I started heading that way into the dark. I needed to get back to the perimeter.
"Stop, go back…" I heard a strong demanding voice nearby. I looked around, not realizing the direction it was coming from. I could feel my heartbeat rising, and my hands becoming clammier than they already were from the moist forest. That strong voice, so familiar. A voice I haven't thought about hearing in a while, it was back. My beautiful velvet voice was back, and I wanted to keep it for as long as I could. I kept myself walking through the dark, feeling my way around the trees that were shown through a silhouette in the night. More leaves began rustling in the woods. I tried to ignore them, ignore the distraction, and I kept myself moving.
"Bella, stop being so stubborn, please. Turn back, it's not safe…" the velvet voice spoke again.
"No, you left, you're not here. I can manage this on my own," I replied to it. I kept forcing myself through thick bramble and past the trees, tripping over the wet moss that covered the rocks. I managed to slip a few times but caught myself holding on the trunks that appeared like shadows in the mist. The wind was blowing, and the cold air hitting my damp sweater made the air chillier than it was. I could feel my lips getting numb, and my fingertips becoming colder. I needed to get to the perimeter, I needed to get to the reservation. I needed to get home.
"Bella, STOP. You're going to hurt yourself. Please, you promised." the velvet voice grew louder, forcing emphasis on the promise.
"You promised to love me," I kept walking, forcing myself to hold back the tears forming in my eyes. As long as I disobeyed the voice, it would keep talking to me. It would keep forcing me to be safe, it would keep watching over me. He would keep watching over me.
The leaves along the forest floor began rustling again from a distance, but the rustling continued without hesitation. They drew closer and closer, getting closer to my direction, but still were afar.
"Run, Bella, run!" The velvet voice shifted its argument, shouting at me now. I couldn't ignore this one, the fear that was kicking in, the adrenaline bubbling through my veins, the voice, the sweet velvet voice. I had to listen; something could be wrong. I started forcing myself into a run, forcing myself to dodge the silhouettes of the trees, forcing myself to make my steps higher, and longer to leap over the mossy rocks along the floor, and past the bramble that kept catching on my shoe laces. I kept going, I kept listening. The rustling drew closer, but not going at such a fast pace as it was before. I moved farther through, leaping over the small puddles that glistened in the mist covered moonlight. I kept listening for more movement as I ventured forward, not sure of which direction I was at. I kept changing my trail when trying to surpass the thick brambles and the large shadowed trees in the woods. I didn't know where I was anymore or where I was going. My knees buckled and my body lunged itself on the damp floor of the forest. I could hear a high pitch scream bouncing around the woods.
"Bella? BELLA!?" A deep throated voice called out. It sounded confused and worried, I heard the rustling and loud steps getting closer to my direction. The loud screech grew higher. I closed my eyes and clung my hands against the side of my head, holding them to my ears, trying to block out the shrill scream. My face grew colder, as the tears slid down the side of my nose. A large weight hit me, holding on to my body, shaking me. I let go of my face with one hand and swung my arm towards the near object. The object was hard, and the impact of my forearm whipping against it made my arm feel shattered like it shattered into pieces.
"FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!" I shouted in surrender. I felt helpless, I felt afraid. I recoiled my arm to my chest, holding it against me to make the pain go away.
"Goddamnit, Bella. Are you okay? Look at me!" An arm extended towards my face and placed it's hand under my cheek forcing my head to tilt in its direction, "Bella, look at me!" It demanded again.
I opened my eyes, but I could see the figure's silhouette. I could see the light from the mist covered moon outlining its shape and the facial features attached to it.
"Jacob? Wha- what are you doing here?" My throat felt hoarse. I coughed a bit trying to speak allowed.
"Real question is, what are you doing here, loca?" He tried lifting me up into him, and I winced at the pain that was piercing through my forearm.
"Fuck, Fuck, Jacob, STOP!" I yelped at him. He halted his movements, and then proceeded to lift me up to him slowly. The pain radiated through and I held it tighter to my chest.
"We should get you to the hospital, Bells..." he said to me, holding me close. The warmth of his body sent chills down my spine as it tried passing through my damp sweater. My teeth began to chatter, but I leaned my hurt arm against him. I pressed my face into his chest, and my other hand that wasn't hurt around his neck. This felt nice, this helped the pain.
"You're freezing and wet, Bells," he said to me.
"It rained," I replied coldly to him.
He chuckled at my response, nodding, "You know, you'd warm up faster if you took that sweater off." I scoffed at his response.
"Survival 101," he replied jokingly, again. He proceeded walking through the woods in almost a light jog. "What the hell were you doing out here, Bells? Who were you talking to?"
"I was trying to find you, to confront you."
"To confront me? Should I be worried, honey?" he cackled.
"Yes, very." I replied.
"Well, you coming out here this late at night, I damn well should be."
"Yepp," I replied sternly to him. He continued to snicker at me. He carried me back through the trees to the reservation. Looking at our direction we were headed in, it seems like I was on the right path when I tried to find my way back. I pressed my mouth against his chest, warming my numb lips against his scolding skin. It was comforting, but my body was still cold. The heat radiating off of him felt nice against my hurt forearm. I felt exhausted, and I could feel the adrenaline rushing out of my body, calming me down.
"Mmm…" I sighed of relief of how good the warmth felt.s
"Whoa, honey. Wait till we get home." I could feel his chest quaking from his crude comment.
"Jake…"
"Oh, c'mon, that was funny," he leaned his head down and kissed the top of my head.
We finally showed up to the reservation. Jacob walked up to the porch, still carrying me and brought me inside. Billy was already in bed, asleep, and Jacob carried me into his room. I clung myself against him, not wanting him to let me go, not wanting to break away from his scolding skin. I felt safe, wrapped in his arms despite the pain that was radiating through my forearm. I'm sure it's not broken, or anything to worry about. I've broken my arm before, and this pain didn't match that one. Must just be a sprain. Jacob sat me down on his bed, and I continued to hold my wrist against my chest. He then flung his head back and forth, shaking the water out of his hair. He went over to his dresser and grabbed a large long sleeve blue shirt out of it, along with a pair of boxers.
"Let's get you out of those clothes before you soak through my sheets," He walked over to me, and set the clothes down on the bed. "Bells, you're going to need my help."
"Jacob, I have to get home, Charlie is probably sending a helicopter as we speak," I'm surprised I didn't notice any blue and red lights flashing throughout the whole reservation.
"It's okay, he knows you're here. Billy told him you fell asleep, and that he'll make sure you get up for school tomorrow."
"Charlie was okay with that?" I looked at him, staggered. Charlie is the most protective parent I know, and he let this slide?
"He likes me, Bells. And he trusts my dad." Jacob replied, flashing a side grin at me. He was right, Charlie did like him, but I'm not so sure he liked him as my boyfriend. He hinted it for some time I believed for me to form a relationship with Jacob, but when the news came, he seemed more dismissive. He unfolded the large long sleeve t-shirt, puffing it out. "I'm going to help you, okay?"
I looked at him speechless. Jacob was going to take my clothes off of me? Even Edward never got to see me so lude. When I was hurt last year after the run-in in Phoenix, Alice was the one who got me dressed and bathed every day. I've never undressed, or let any boy undress me before. I held my arm closer to my chest, feeling a bit bashful by the idea.
"Bells, it's fine. I won't look if that makes you feel better…" He motioned over to me, "but maybe just a peak." Oh great, Jake is full of jokes today.
He held his hand underneath my forearm, helping me lift it up slowly over my head. Then he grabbed the bottom of my sweater and started slowly pulling it up past my stomach and paused before it reached my bra. I kept my eyes shut, trying to keep myself from the embarrassment. I must've looked like a mess, covered in dirt and mud.
"Close them, Jake." I said strict to him.
"Yes, ma'am." He pulled the sweater over my head, and past my arms. I winced a little bit, but the relief of having the damp sweater off distracted me from the pain. He tossed the sweater onto the ground and turned around facing his bedroom door.
"Actually, Jake. Can I take a shower? I'm a mess," I noted timorously.
"Yeah, sure, sure. Let me get the water running." He left the room. I got up off the bed and proceeded to pull my jeans down and unclipped my bra from the back with my good hand. I grabbed a dirty towel on the floor and wrapped it around my body as quickly as I could. I heard the shower turn on and I immediately walked over towards the bedroom door and left the room. I stood against the wall outside of the bathroom waiting for him to leave.
"Okay, shower's almost ready. It's about room temperature. Our water heater isn't the best," he said to me walking out of the bathroom. I turned my head down to hide myself from seeing him and to hide from the embarrassment of this awkward interaction between us.
"That's fine," I said to him, and quickly made my way to the bathroom, and locked the door after I closed it shut. I dropped my towel and stepped into the tub shower, feeling the water. Yepp, it was a bit cold, not to my likely especially right now when I already feel freezing, but I'll feel much better when I'm clean. The only bath products Jake had in the bathroom was a two in one hair product, but it would have to do.
After I was cleaned off, I noticed a nicely folded clean towel was placed onto the bathroom sink, along with a pair of boxers. Jake must've brought it in for me, but he didn't bring me a t-shirt. I wrapped the clean towel around myself and squeezed my hair out into the sink. I then pulled on the boxers that were a little bit too big, so I bundled up the waistline of them into a ball until it fit my waist and tied my hair tie on it to keep it secure. I unlocked the bathroom door, and ran across the small hall, and immediately closed the door behind me once I got into Jacob's room. He was sitting there on the bed reading a dirty comic book that had to have been read through multiple times.
"Hey, I think you forgot to bring me a shirt."
"Yeah, I thought you might need help with it," he grinned at me.
"You know, you're the reason it's sprained." I smirked at him.
"Not my fault you decided to take a swing at me."
"Very much your fault." I still needed to confront him about the situation, but he was being so nice to me, I didn't know how to bring it up. I held the towel securely to my chest. Jacob stood up, grabbing the shirt and walked behind me. He puffed the short out again to make it easier to get into. I held one arm up so he could slide my arm through the sleeve, and then I let go of my towel with the other one. Only my back torso was visible to him because I had the boxers on, so this helped me feel a bit more comfortable about the current predicament going on. He slid the shirt on over my head and let the trim of it drape over me. The shirt might as well had been a dress on me. It hung lower than the boxers I was wearing.
"I'm really sorry about your arm, Bells," he said in a disappointed tone.
"It's fine, it's fine." I assured him. I glided myself over onto his bed and sat down, looking up at him, "So I saw Malia today."
He raised his eyebrow, "okay… "
"She told me to tell you to return her phone calls," I kept making eye contact with him. He chuckled a bit, trying to dull out the stern tone that I was giving him. He then groaned a bit and proceeded to scratch the back of his head.
"Well, I wasn't planning on calling her back."
"Wha- Jacob, why the hell didn't you tell me that she called?"
"Because it's not a big deal,"
"Yes, it is, Jake! I told you I didn't want to be that girl!" I shouted at him.
"Bella, please, c'mon. You're not. It was always you, she was just a small distraction, and it wasn't even a weeklong relationship."
"And you lied to her, Jake! She still thinks you're together. I had to lie and act like I didn't know what the hell she was talking about. I don't like to lie."
"You lie all the time, Bella. You lied about your favorite little bloodsuckers to Charlie for a whole year." Favorite little blood suckers? Really?
"That's different, Jake! It wasn't my secret to tell, and you know that."
"Chill out, Bells. It's not a big deal. She'll realize it when I keep ignoring her calls."
"No, Jake, that's wrong! That's wrong on so many levels, you don't understand what it feels like to have that kind of rejection," tears began to stream down my face, "to get no explanation on what you did wrong, or why you were wrong for that person. You don't understand what it's like to completely get disconnected from someone and have no way to even contact them."
Jacob looked at me with despondency and nodded his head. He looked like he was contemplating on his thoughts, what to say next.
"You have to call her."
"Why? So, you won't have another reason to compare me to your little leach? So, if I call her and give her an explanation, it'll give you a better reason to be with me," He looked back at me getting close enough to me that I could feel the heat radiating off his skin, "because I didn't do to her what he did to you." He shook his head at me again and scoffed. I was stunned, completely shocked that he made that comparison to me, and it hurt.
"Not cool, Jake."
"I'm just stating what you're already thinking. I'm not as good as him, admit it. I'm not your right kind of monster."
"Stop it, Jake."
"No, because I'm right. That's why you still panic at the slightest thought of him or whenever I even mention his name. You can't get over him, and it's ridiculous, Bella. He's not even alive!" He stood up off the bed, walking towards the wall, holding his arms up in frustration at me.
"I chose you, Jacob. I wanted to be with you,"
"I was your only option, Bella." He walked towards the door, swinging it open, and the hinges on the doors screeched.
"Where are you going?!" I yelled out to him.
"I came to find you to make sure you were safe. I still have to patrol tonight. See you tomorrow." He closed the door behind him hard, making the lamp on his table rattle back and forth.
What was I supposed to say in that situation? Was I comparing the two of them? Comparing someone who was actually here for me and someone who never was? I did love Jake; I know I do. I care for him, a lot. I want to be around him, and I want to feel him, all the time when I'm cold. But he wasn't completely wrong, he was my only option.
************* Sorry it took me over 24 hours to post a new chapter update! I had homework that was due last night, and now I'm on vacation at the beach! (: I'll write more tonight when it gets late and have a new chapter out for you