LAURIE
Laurie finished tying a ribbon to the long community table and stepped out of the way to let the ladies of Seattle unload their arms of various baked goods. There was an immediate swarm of activity, the table quickly filling with pies, cakes, and other edible delights. She placed her offering of a wild strawberry pie with the others and glanced up to see Jason watching her with a look of pride about his features. Laurie averted her eyes quickly, feeling her cheeks warm. There was no doubt in her mind which one he would bid for. It was the reason she had baked his favorite.
She walked through the growing crowd and studied her surroundings with a critical eye. The women of Seattle held their yearly bazaar shortly after Independence Day, and Jason had seen fit to take advantage of it. When Laurie told him of Lottie's request for help, he swooped on the opportunity like a white-tailed eagle after its prey. He promptly encouraged her to meet with the town council and several women on the bazaar committee.
Laurie was aware of what Jason was doing. The more people saw she was normal, the less power the rumors based on superstition had over her. For that reason alone she had followed her husband's lead without protest, and in the process convinced the women and the men on the town council to keep the decorations from the holiday up for the occasion. Not that it had been a hard sell. All she had to do was mention the words "save money" and the men jumped onto her idea, with the women reluctantly following until she had mentioned more time for personal affairs.
All she had asked them to do was leave all the red, white, and blue trappings up. Then the decorating committee incorporated the crisp blue and white checkered tablecloths from the brides' dormitory with red ribbons leftover from Christmas, and fresh wildflowers Jason sent the children to pick that morning. She felt they softened the look to a more feminine feel for the bazaar, and not a single paper flower in sight. It was a bonus that the town had not needed to spend a single cent.
"Laurie!" she heard Biddie call. "Could you help us, please?"
She walked to where Biddie stood with Candy, sorting donated clothing and quilts and other items of textile interest. "What can I do to help?" Laurie asked as she approached.
"Would you mind hanging those quilts on the frames, please?" Candy asked, waving at a stack of bedding. "We're almost done with the clothes."
Laurie nodded and began her task, meticulously smoothing them to highlight the various colors and patterns of each quilt.
"Candy, I can't find the preserves we were going to put out for the contest," said a bride sticking her head out of the dormitory.
Candy muttered something to Biddie and rushed inside.
"She took Jeremy's absence to heart, didn't she?" Laurie asked Biddie, staring at the door where the redhead had disappeared. When they had arrived earlier, Jason had taken Candy aside to tell her Jeremy wouldn't be attending because of work. Soon after, she had thrown herself into the art of being so busy she had no time for conversation.
"It's not so much that," said Biddie, folding a gentleman's shirt. She put it down and glanced at the door. "You didn't hear it from me, but they're at it again."
"At it?"
"Oh, you don't know. Well, sometimes they get into these little tiffs. It's nothing, they'll be fine."
"Are you saying they quarrel often?"
"No, not often, but sometimes." Biddie's brown curls bounced as she shook out a man's shirt. "They always get over it."
Laurie studiously smoothed a quilt. "Not like you and Aaron."
"Oh no, Aaron and I hardly ever fight. But then, when it's a secret—" Biddie's eyes widened, and she lowered her voice. "Oh Laurie, you won't tell, will you? I'm not supposed to say anything."
Laurie smiled and shook her head. "Don't worry, you're secret is safe with me."
"Did Jason tell you? He caught us together once, did he tell you that?"
"No, Jason didn't tell me. I didn't know he knew. Earlier when I saw the two of you standing together while we were discussing where to put the table his manner seemed more than that of a friend."
"Oh." Biddie's eyes flitted to Aaron standing with a group of men in front of Lottie's, cigar in hand. "Yes, Aaron seems to look at me differently these days."
Laurie focused again on her assigned task and reminded herself it wasn't any of her business. When she glanced at Biddie, the girl was still watching Aaron, leaning over the table of clothes while she fiddled with the brown ribbon on her yellow calico dress and sighed. Laurie chuckled to herself and put another quilt on a frame. If they were fooling anyone, it was because people weren't paying attention. It was nice to see a couple in courtship.
"Of course, it's good to have someone to talk to," Biddie said without warning. "Sometimes I think I'll just die if I don't tell someone."
"Then why keep it a secret?"
"Oh well, that's simple enough." Biddie picked up the last pair of trousers on the table and folded them quickly. "Last year before Christmas I helped him find his more, um, charitable self. At least, that's how he put it." She lifted her gaze and Laurie could see the excitement of a woman who had suppressed her happiness for too long. "He said I was just what the doctor ordered and kissed me right in front of everyone. It was nice."
"That sounds wonderfully romantic."
"Oh it was, and he asked if he could call on me. But then he changed his mind just before the Christmas party. He thought he needed to concentrate on business."
Laurie glanced at Aaron. "That must have been painful for you."
"Yes, it was. I was so sad, I thought it was going to be the worst Christmas I'd ever had. But Christmas morning there he was outside the dormitory, talking about dreams and all sorts of strange things. He said he had made a mistake and asked if he could court me outright. He didn't want me to entertain anyone else., but I told him I wasn't sure if I wanted to. I didn't want to be embarrassed again."
"I don't blame you," said Laurie, seeing both Biddie and Aaron in a different light. Aaron was lucky. Most women she knew wouldn't have given him the time of day after something like that.
"Don't think too badly of him. It was all about business, and that's very important to Aaron."
"More important than you?"
"Well, he thought so. At least, he did at the time. He's not like that anymore. Besides, he told everyone we were just fooling Seattle so I wouldn't feel bad, and they all seemed to believe him, even Jason. Well, everyone except Candy. She knew it was real for me."
Laurie nodded, trying to withhold judgment. She didn't want to entertain thoughts that would bring her first Seattle friend into an unfavorable light.
"Anyway, when I said I was nervous, he suggested we have a secret courtship until we were both comfortable. I liked the idea, so I agreed." Biddie shyly chuckled. "It's been kinda fun."
"Since Christmas?" The thought of keeping a relationship secret for months baffled Laurie. Biddie didn't seem the type.
"Mm-hmm. Oh, but Christmas was magical this year. That's when Jason started courting Hannah, you know."
"No, I didn't know, but I suppose it makes sense. Christmas is a romantic time of year. All the 'good-will toward men' sermons seem to help lift people into cheerful moods."
"Yes," said Biddie confidentially. "And the mistletoe doesn't hurt, either."
Laurie blinked, and then she laughed with Biddie. She liked Biddie's candor.
"But Aaron's not ready yet, and until he is, I don't want to say anything. I'd just die if I ever had to face everyone in Seattle like that again."
Candy came sailing out of the dormitory with the other bride hustling behind her, both their arms full of preserves headed toward a table set up near the barber's shop.
"I promise I won't say a word," said Laurie. "But surely Candy knows?"
Biddie shook her head and leaned close to whisper, "I haven't told her yet. She was just furious after Aaron ended things so fast, I haven't dared to tell her it's back on."
"Particularly since he hasn't openly committed?"
Biddie nodded.
"Well, I can't imagine this has been an easy secret for you to keep. Especially from your best friend."
"Oh, that's true," said Biddie, with another glance Aaron's way. "It's been hard to sneak around, but kind of exciting too." She giggled. Then she looked Laurie in the eye and grew serious. "I just don't want to upset Candy. She has enough trouble with Christopher right now."
"I understand." Laurie looked up and smiled. Aaron, moving past a group of men, saw her and smiled back. A man passed by and caught him in conversation. To Biddie, she said, "May I offer a small suggestion that has nothing to do with telling anyone about your courtship?"
Biddie pressed her lips together and gave herself a moment to think. "Yes, I suppose that would be fine."
Laurie leaned forward and whispered, "Aaron's making his way over here. Try to get him to buy a quilt. That'll put his mind in the right place."
Biddie looked up and locked eyes with Aaron for a moment, and then she turned and giggled just as he started toward them again. "I think that'll be just the thing. Thank you!"
"You're welcome." Laurie turned and quickly set to finishing her task, trying not to listen to Aaron greet his secret love.
When Laurie finished, she stepped back to admire her work and noticed Biddie's conversation had Aaron red-faced and coughing uncomfortably. Laurie had to turn away to keep from laughing. Perhaps he would think long and hard about who he was missing under the blanket she knew he'd buy from Biddie.
She passed Candy conversing with a woman Laurie didn't recognize. Not wanting to intrude, she drifted away from her friends and glanced around the bazaar, pausing at the table still laden with pies and cakes. The auction for the baked goods had already started. Jason was standing with several of his men and she saw him lean forward to say something to Swede. There was a burst of laughter around him. Thinking it was good to see him relaxed, she continued forward.
Lottie's saloon doors were in constant motion with people coming in and out. Over by the church the brides were selling boutonnieres, and women were buying them for two bits apiece to pin on their sweethearts. She passed the table of preserves Candy had helped arrange for a taste testing contest later, but it was Ben Perkins' storefront that caught Laurie's attention. He had several baubles and trinkets arranged prettily to capture a passing lady's eye, along with bolts of fabric laid out on a table. A particular bolt of wool had a beautiful tartan pattern woven in blue and green with a hint of gold.
Laurie ran her hand over the fabric longingly while her mind searched for a reason she would need it. Well, her mother's skirt was old-fashioned and needed replacing, didn't it? She had already done more mending on it than she normally would. Hoping that was reason enough, she tucked the bolt under her arm and walked into the store. Seeing that Ben was busy with someone else, she picked through a catalog on his countertop. She paused when her eyes rested on an advertisement for a piece of lingerie from Paris.
Jason hadn't taken her to the marriage bed like she thought he would. She had understood the men had upset him with all their nonsense, but she couldn't help but ruminate over the way he had handled her after their picnic. His touch was usually gentle. That day she had seen a different side of him, a man of strength and passion that left her breathless. Despite Sister Agnes's protests, she liked the way he touched her. If only they had been more secluded! Drat Sister Agnes for interrupting her concentration. Her memory's harping had caused Laurie to alert Jason to her discomfort. Someday she would have to explain to him about the nuns, and how they still plagued her mind. Until then, she kept hoping he would surprise her again. It was weeks later, and Laurie found it frustrating that he hadn't so much as followed her to bed until she was asleep.
She smoothed the page with a light touch of her fingers and wondered if he would like such a gown on her. Some men would think it too scandalous, but she didn't think Jason would share that opinion. Perhaps it would be just the thing to help him get over whatever was still holding him back. She put her thumb to her mouth to keep from giggling, thinking of Biddie's reaction to her suggestion of selling Aaron a quilt. Just the thing. She and Biddie had more in common than her friend realized. Sensing a presence near, she glanced up and saw Mr. Perkins looking at the advertisement over her shoulder. She could feel her cheeks flame, and she quickly closed the catalog.
"Excellent choice," Ben observed. "Jason would appreciate that."
She gave him a serious look. "It's not appropriate."
Ben leaned his head back and laughed. "There are a lot of words to describe Jason, but appropriate ain't one of them."
A smile played at Laurie's lips. It was true, Jason hadn't shown the slightest interest in propriety until it made her uncomfortable. "That's my job," she said, surprising herself with the sound of affection that laced her voice.
Ben continued to chuckle as he left her side, taking the tartan fabric with him. She followed him to the counter and watched him put it down. "Maybe it is. You know, my Emily keeps me in check. It'll be good for Jason to have a woman bend his ear."
"He seems to have handled himself well all these years without a woman. Eight yards, please."
"You sure? Seems like a lot."
"I have to match the pattern of the weave."
Ben nodded as he cut the fabric. "You're right, Jason sure has a way with that silver tongue of his. But you know that, seeing how he swept ya off your feet in Tacoma."
Laurie's mind flickered across her first impressions of Jason in the hotel room. He hadn't exactly used a silver tongue that night, but first impressions weren't the most reliable.
"What are you making with it?" Ben asked her, nodding toward the fabric.
"A skirt."
"Something as fancy as what you're wearing?"
Laurie glanced down. She had put on her favorite cream-colored dress, the first new dress she had worn after escaping the South into San Francisco. The same one Jason had admired on the night of the reception. She knew the soft fabric looked lovely against her skin and highlighted her eyes. Most of her Philadelphia contemporaries would have scorned a dress without high collars and shiny buttons, but Laurie embraced it.
Laurie gave Ben a shy smile that she hoped confirmed his faulty impressions. "No, something simple."
"Well, I know as far as Jason's concerned, it won't matter. He has eyes for no one but you." He finished wrapping the fabric in brown paper and tied the package with some string. "Never thought I'd see him so taken with a woman." He handed it to her. "I'll put it on your bill. Jason can settle up later."
"Thank you, Mr. Perkins. For the compliment, and the wool."
"Call me Ben. And if you decide you want that little ditty in the catalog, Clancey's going to San Francisco next week. We could send an order with him."
"Thank you. I'll give it some thought." She turned to leave and spotted Christopher with Brodie heading away from Seattle Square. On a whim, she touched a glass canister filled with sweets and said to Ben, "Oh! I forgot. I'd like a pound of this penny candy, please."
Ben grabbed a small bag and lifted the top off the canister that held the childish delights and scooped out a pound. "You know Jason's always had a sweet tooth."
She giggled and inwardly flinched. She sounded like a schoolgirl. "Yes, I've figured that out. Thank you."
"You're welcome." The storekeeper gave his attention to another woman who wandered into the store. Laurie exited the building and walked into the sunlight. The bazaar was in full swing now, with a low roar settling over the small town, and it seemed as if the crowd was bigger than it had been for Independence Day. That surprised her, even if the fourth had fallen on a Monday.
After a quick scan and not seeing her husband, Laurie began searching for Christopher. She hoped to plant a little seed of an idea she'd had. Jason may have told her to stay away from Frank, but seemed to be less concerned about Brodie and Henry. Laurie wanted to try coaxing Brodie to go back to school voluntarily, or start working, which she hoped would help his younger brother and ease Candy's worries. Coaxing took time with subtle cultivating, and that was something she knew she could do without Jason kicking up a fuss.
It took her a moment to find them beyond the docks. After pocketing a few pieces of candy to give her husband, Laurie hurried before she followed them too far and called out to Christopher, startling both the boys.
"Hi, Aunt Laurie," Christopher said with a worried glance toward Brodie. "I thought you'd be with Uncle Jason."
"I will be," she answered. She smiled at the skinny young man with freckles and sad eyes next to him. "I was in the mercantile just now, and I thought you both might like something sweet. I know there's no way you could have beaten those loggers to the chocolate cake."
"Oh," Christopher said with a smile and took the offered sack. "Thanks. We were about to go fishing."
She looked to the sky, lifting her hand to shield herself from the sun. "It is a lovely day for fishing."
"Maybe I'll bring you some," said Brodie, his eyes focused on the ground. "For the candy."
An exchange? She hadn't thought of that, but the offer presented an opportunity. Hopefully, when Jason found out, he would understand. "If you like. I'll trust you to decide what's fair," she said and glanced the way she had just come. "I better get back before Jason misses me."
"Okay. Have a good time," Christopher said, stuffing the sack into his pocket.
"You too," said Laurie with a little a wave, stifling the urge to plead the boys to be good. She was sure Candy didn't know about the boys' excursion. If Laurie told her, Jason would find out, and she wasn't sure that was a good thing. Sometimes it was best to see how things played out.
She wandered past the jars of preserves that Clancey and Lottie were judging. Clancey's overly kind compliments had the women giggling in their handkerchiefs, and Laurie eyed the entries that had been added during her absence. It seemed the school would get the new books Miss Essie had requested for the upcoming school year. If she continued to teach, Jason had darkly told her, hinting that she was considering stepping down to accommodate her growing family.
Looking for Jason, Laurie came around the corner of the saloon and froze, eyeing her husband and Hannah standing close together. Too close. She narrowed her eyes, watching Hannah lift her face to Jason's as she took his hand. Jason shook his head. He put his hand kindly on Hannah's shoulder as Hannah leaned into him. Laurie could hear his voice drop into his usual calming tones.
Laurie placed her hand on her chest, willing her breathing to calm down. It's nothing more than friendship. He swore over and over there is nothing between them. So what if Hannah sought solace with an old friend? Just because she talked to Jason doesn't mean anything.
Determined to believe the best, Laurie stepped forward and gasped. Hannah stood on her tiptoes and kissed Jason on the lips. Jason seemed frozen in place. Laurie's breathing caught. Why aren't you shoving her off? How can you just stand there?!
Laurie choked on the lump in her throat. She whirled around and blindly sprang up the steps to the saloon, her package hugged to her chest. She stumbled inside.
"Sully and McGee said McAllister and Eli wanted to stick around. I don't know why. There was another one of those murders in Port Angeles while they were over there," Corky was saying to Joshua as she passed them at the bar. He held a beer close to him and wore a boutonniere. "This is getting out of hand. We need some real law and order around here."
Not wanting to hear about more bad things, she slipped by them, pretending not to hear when Joshua called her name. She settled herself at the piano and after a few deep breaths, began plinking them one by one into a short, solemn melody she had learned in San Francisco.
"I didn't know you played," said Joshua, sitting next to her.
She glanced at him and stroked the keys with a little more confidence. The childish notes became a flowing melody. "A little. I learned in school, and sadly, I'm out of practice."
"Is that where you learned to sing, too?"
Her fingers froze. She fully turned to take him in. He wore his favorite red checkered shirt with grey suspenders, and he had combed his bright blonde hair neatly in place. She noted he did not wear a boutonniere like his friend. "How do you know about that?"
"Jason said he heard you once. He said you were doing chores." Joshua grinned at her.
"Laundry," she guessed, her cheeks growing hot with the memory. Goodness! If she kept blushing like a bride her cheeks would burn from the inside out, but it wasn't hard for her to imagine just what Jason had told him.
"Yeah, that was it. He said you sounded like an angel."
The knot grew in Laurie's stomach, but she smiled back at him and began playing a livelier melody than before. "Your brother tends to err on the side of exaggeration."
Joshua chuckled and shook his head saying, "Yeah, but he knows talent when he hears it. Anyway, he told me you sang. I didn't know you played piano, too."
"I suppose I kept it a secret, but I didn't mean to. It just never came up."
"Did Jason tell you Jeremy and I both play guitar and sing? Sometimes, when we have time to spare?"
She threw a glance his way. He was looking at her earnestly, like their conversation meant something. "But you never sang at camp."
"Well, it's been busy. Sometimes a man is too tired to play, you know?"
"Oh. Well, Jason never told me. But I'm learning that there are a lot of things he doesn't tell me."
"I suppose it takes time to learn about a person. And develop trust."
"Hmm."
Neither said anything for a few moments, and Laurie lost herself in the music until Joshua cleared his throat. "It's just that Jason's birthday is coming up."
"That's what Lottie told me last week. In August, isn't it?"
"That's right. We usually just grab a birthday drink with the crew, but since he's married now..."
Laurie bit her lower lip and continued to play, unsure of his intentions.
Joshua rubbed the back of his neck and continued, "It's been a long time since Jason's had a proper party. Not since our father was alive, maybe even before."
"I'll make sure he gets a cake and everything." She knew she should smile, but she just couldn't get the corners of her mouth to lift.
"Yeah, well, since he was sweet on your voice, Jeremy and I wondered if we could all sing together. For his birthday."
Laurie's fingers skipped across the keys a little quicker than the melody called for. Willing herself to keep them steady, she said, "That sounds nice. I'd like that."
She let the music once again fill the silence between them. Joshua shifted on the piano bench and said, "I know he wants this marriage to work. He's falling for you, Laurie."
Visions of Hannah with her lips on Jason's put another lump in her throat, and she swallowed, missing a note. How many times had they stolen a kiss like that in the past? Had he embraced her after she kissed him? Laurie's heart pounded in her chest so hard it hurt. She took a deep breath to focus on the music again. Music usually made her feel better. If only it would work its magic on her nerves today. "I want it to work too," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
"I thought so. Jeremy and I, we see it happening. It's good for both of you."
Laurie knew if she heard anymore, she would make a spectacle of herself. The music ended abruptly when she stopped and stood. "Excuse me," she whispered.
"Did I say something wrong?" Joshua asked, his eyes widening as they followed her.
"No, I... Everything is fine," she said, trying to blink back tears. Fine, as long as she didn't think about Jason and Hannah. Laurie picked up her fabric from the top of the piano, the brown paper crinkling in her grip, and looked sideways at him. It seemed there were things even Joshua didn't know. "I need to get some air."
"I'll go with you."
"No, you have friends," she said, gesturing toward a couple of loggers at the bar with Corky, trying to ignore the fact that she wasn't making any sense. "I'll think about what you said."
"Okay. I'll see you later," she heard Joshua call after her.
She skedaddled out of the saloon clinging to her package before the tears could start, Sister Agnes' scorn ringing in her ears. The first sign of that man treating you like family and this is how you repay him? It's a wonder they haven't put you in your place, girl! And stand up straight. You're not a turtle! With her teeth clenched, Laurie rolled her shoulders back and smacked into the last person in the world she wanted to see.
"I beg your pardon," Laurie said, her voice choked.
"My pleasure," said Hannah stiffly, rolling her eyes at her friend that had narrowly escaped Laurie's inopportune timing.
Laurie squinted at her. A good five inches taller than Laurie, she fit Jason perfectly. It wasn't hard to see how she had attracted Jason. She looked pretty, with her long, blonde ringlets around her face and dark brown eyes. But the frown Hannah frequently wore when she looked at Laurie reminded Laurie of the nuns back in St. Vincent's. Biting the inside of her cheek, she tried to brush past her.
Hannah grabbed her arm. "I know about you," she said, smugness permeating her stance. "You're not as pious as you make yourself out to be."
Laurie winced. Her fingers were warm and gripped her with surprising strength. "I don't understand what you're talking about."
"Oh yes, you do." She let go of Laurie and crossed her arms in front of her. "Those fancy dresses? I know why they look so much like Lottie's."
"Yes, we both like the same dressmaker."
Hannah and her friend burst into tittering laughter. "I'm sure!" said Hannah with a hand put up to her chest, acting as if the next thought mortified her. "You're in the same profession."
"No. I have never owned a saloon."
"But you used to work in one."
"No, I never have."
"Dance hall, opera house, saloon... they're all the same, Mrs. Bolt. Jason married an entertainer. Your wares must have held him spellbound to get him to compromise himself."
Laurie's lips pinched together. So this was how it was going to play out? A scene about her past? Laurie couldn't imagine anything more stupid. Of all her secrets, this one wasn't one she was ashamed of. There was nothing wrong with singing on a stage.
"Hannah Baird, you better stop trying to make problems," said Biddie, joining the small crowd that was steadily growing. Candy moved to stand next to Laurie.
"I'm not making any problems," Hannah replied with a toss of her curls. "I'm stating a fact. Everyone knows Jason isn't in love with her."
Biddie sucked in her breath, and Candy said, "Not only isn't that true, but it's none of your business."
Hannah gave Candy a strange look and said, "Yes, it is. You know it is! Just like you know Jason and I were close to an engagement." Her eyes narrowed when she switched her gaze to Laurie. "He was going to propose. So yes, the man that I still love, and the man who still loves me is forced to live with a woman he doesn't love, doesn't want, and doesn't need."
Laurie's mind conjured the vision of Hannah's kiss on Jason's lips again. True, it wasn't passionate like the times he had taken Laurie into his arms, but what about before? It pained her to admit the obvious: she was jealous. Jealous of every word her husband had ever spoken to this woman. All the intimate moments, the romantic overtures, the flirtations, and the kisses. Especially the kisses, no matter how innocent. Laurie wanted them all, yet it was a silly, selfish desire. She had lost before she'd ever met him.
Still, if she couldn't have a courtship, if there couldn't be love, at the very least life had dictated a marriage. He was hers, and there wasn't anything anyone else could do about it. Somehow, the safety of that fact gave her courage.
"Well," she said, using her frosty tones that had a reputation of chilling the hottest suitor in San Francisco. "I suppose his sound judgment encouraged him to look elsewhere."
Through the corner of her eye, Laurie watched Biddie's eyes bulge, and Candy put her hand over her mouth when it dropped open.
"I know for a fact your brother forced him to marry you."
Once again Laurie felt herself plaster on a smile she didn't feel, wanting desperately to give in to her temper. "Jason didn't tell you that."
"No, but he didn't have to. I heard it from a little bird. Besides, Jason believes in marrying for love. He was already in love with me, and he didn't know you long enough."
"You've never heard of love at first sight?" asked Biddie.
"Not where Jason's concerned." Hannah leaned closer to Laurie before saying in hushed tones, "And it's not like you've honored your wedding vows."
"Yes, I have."
Hannah clucked her tongue and shook her head. "I bet it wasn't even a Presbyterian wedding. Presbyterians vow their bodies and their hearts. You haven't given him either."
"You're wrong."
"Am I?" Hannah asked through batting eyelashes. "Which part?"
Laurie felt the anger pulse through her body, and she tried to push it down while she observed the girl standing over her. There must have been something about her that attracted Jason. Didn't she hear they were on and off? Was Hannah an old habit? Or had she been someone Jason simply passed the time with? In a roundabout way, he had said they were friends that tried courtship and it didn't work out. She supposed that might give a girl the wrong impression, and Jason seemed to excel at that. The anger in her gut cooled if only a little, and Laurie clutched her package close to her body.
"I don't know what exactly went on between the two of you, because Jason hasn't felt it important enough to mention the details to me," she said, shaking as she kept her composure. "I'm sorry if you felt like he was going to propose. Sometimes my husband isn't aware of his effect on people. I'm sure he didn't mean to leave you with the wrong impression."
"Impression?!" said Hannah, her voice rising.
"What she's saying is that Jason wasn't as serious as you thought," said Biddie, putting her hand on Hannah's arm.
Hannah instantly yanked her arm away. "Not serious? Jason had every intention of proposing!"
"No, I don't think so," said Laurie, feeling her jealousy burn its way past the cool facade she wore.
"He was going to Tacoma to buy me a ring! He said so!"
"He was in Tacoma on business," said Candy.
"Yes, and he asked me if he could get me anything, like jewelry. We had an understanding."
Candy looked sympathetically at Hannah. "Jewelry could mean many things."
Had Jason conveniently forgotten? How many times had he reassured Laurie there was nothing between them? Yet Hannah seemed so clear on the subject.
"Not between us," Hannah answered with contempt. "We were open about it. The way he kissed me? It was almost a proposal."
Laurie's picked at the edges of her package. Hannah's voice had taken on a breathy tone, a tone a woman used when she knew what a man's embrace felt like. Jason had lied to her, saying he had never kissed someone like that! But it wasn't entirely his fault, was it? She had asked him to tell her that his kisses were all her own. She had practically begged him to lie. It made sense that he would tell her what she wanted to hear. Laurie Bolt, little fool. No matter, she decided. It was time to end this thing between Hannah and Jason. Otherwise, she'd end up sharing him, and she wasn't the sharing kind.
"I'm sure those kisses weren't as meaningful as you thought," said Laurie aloud.
"No? You've almost bankrupted him with all your extravagances. Do you think he's happy with that? Not when his mountain is in jeopardy. You've been nothing but a burden since you met him. Why don't you just give him an annulment? That would make him happy."
Laurie's mind raced. Bankrupt? He couldn't be. Jason had just built their cabin, for heaven's sake! He hadn't been flamboyant with his drinking or gambling either, no matter what Aaron had hinted at. "And Jason's supposed unhappiness allows you to take liberties with my husband?"
"I haven't taken liberties with anyone's husband," Hannah declared, her cheeks paling.
That's right. You're not keeping this secret. "I saw you kiss him earlier." Laurie's voice had taken a steely edge to it. "I thought Mr. Stempel told me all the New Bedford brides were marriageable. It would seem that's not true anymore."
Hannah slapped her and shouted, "I did no such thing!"
Laurie heard someone guffaw and saw a few heads whip around to peer at them. "You're the wee hen that never layed away!" Laurie paused for a deep breath to control her tongue. "I saw you," she continued, sounding more American and wishing she could leave. Instead, she stepped forward to say the hateful words, anyway. "I saw the two of you earlier by the saloon. Together. He didn't kiss you back, but you kissed him. It's true my husband and I are still settling in, and yes, I sang professionally when I had no other means of income and two mouths to feed, but I never threw myself at a married man."
The screech from Hannah gave Laurie a thrill she knew she shouldn't feel. It was shameful and showed poor character. It was going to backfire on her. It always did, but oh, how good it felt to have the upper hand.
"I hate you! We were practically engaged, but if you want to live with your precious lies, you just go right ahead. Everyone in Seattle knows the truth. He hasn't touched you because he loathes you. You are nothing more than a Jezebel that trapped him—"
"A Jezebel?! Which is it? Either I'm in bed with him or not!"
Hannah's face flushed, and she jutted her finger at Laurie's chest. "Your brother forced him into marrying you because you lured him into a compromising position, but when you got here, you denied him his right to—"
"Stop it, just stop it!" Candy yelled at Hannah. "Both of you! You can't talk about things like that!"
Laurie noticed a crowd had gathered around them and felt relieved that Joshua hadn't followed her out of the saloon.
"She has to tell the truth!" Hannah wailed. "Jason is still in love with me! He wants an annulment, but she won't give it to him! My poor, poor sweetheart!" She dabbed her eyes with a kerchief and sniffled.
Laurie blinked at the accusation and laughed. It was a slow, hurtful chuckle that bubbled into one of her hard, almost hysterical laughs.
"Trust me, if Jason wanted out of the marriage, he would get out," said Lottie, moving her way through the crowd to stand between them. "You want the truth? Jason's happy. Now leave Laurie alone."
"It's alright," Laurie said, gasping for air. "It's just so funny."
Lottie answered tenderly, "No, it's not, Laurie."
Laurie looked at Hannah and knew the woman was seething. She choked back her laughter and wiped her eyes. "You're right, it isn't. And that is the last time you try to invite yourself into my bedroom," she said, pointing at Hannah the way she had pointed at her, even if it was rude. "What goes on or doesn't go on in my home is not nor ever will be your concern." Her voice hiccuped, and she paused, trying to gain control of the strangled words in her throat. "Jason is my husband," she continued, tears stinging her eyes, "For better or for worse, in body and spirit. Whatever your relationship was with him, it's over. Let him go because he'll no be coming back to you!" She flinched at her last choice of words. So Scottish, so passionate. So full of venom it was unladylike, yet it felt good to say.
"Alright, you two," said Lottie, anxiously looking at both of them. "Jason wouldn't want you to fight like this."
"You're right. I'm going home." Laurie moved to leave when Hannah grabbed the back of her dress. Laurie heard something rip and gasped, spinning around.
Hannah lost her grip, but she had already done the damage. Laurie's stomach fell looking at the large rip in the skirt of her dress and felt the self-control she had kept throughout the confrontation being wrenched from her. In a breath, she shoved back. Hannah lost her balance and fell, covering herself in a puddle of muck. Laurie didn't notice, the inspection of her dress consuming her attention.
"Look what you've done!" screamed Hannah as the girl splashed to right herself.
Laurie looked up in surprise. "What I've done?!" she repeated with no effort to hide her anger now, her Scottish dialect in full force. "You ripped Madam La Fève's dress, made in Paris, and shipped to San Francisco! It's irreplaceable—"
Laurie bit off her words when she saw Hannah run toward her, both hands outstretched. Laurie's package slipped to the ground as she stepped aside to miss the brunt of the attack, but not quick enough that Hannah didn't pull her into another mud hole. Now they were both covered head to toe in the muck.
Somewhere Laurie could hear Lottie yelling at both of them, screams and jeers from both male and female bystanders drowning her words out. Laurie's tried to get her bearings, but another attack quickly mottled her senses. It was all Laurie could do to keep Hannah from scratching her face. While Laurie wrestled with her, Hannah stepped on Laurie's dress pulling them both back down to the ground. In her attempt to get up, Hannah smashed her elbow into Laurie's eye when she slipped again. Pain burst throughout Laurie's brain. She rolled and tried to climb out of the grimy hole. Hannah pulled her back in, ripping Laurie's dress.
Laurie gasped. Hannah had exposed her underclothes and there was muck all over her! The barrage of constant attacks was exhausting and worse than any of that, she would be the talk of Seattle despite all of Jason's efforts. As she wrestled with the girl Laurie briefly wondered if it was worth it. In enough pain to feel rage and spurred by the laughter and continuous jeering of bystanders, she grabbed Hannah's dress and felt her fingers pop when she yanked so hard the buttons gave way to expose her opponent. Laurie spit the grit out of her mouth and yelled at Hannah, "Leave me alone!"
In response, Hannah dug her nails into Laurie's leg, and this time Laurie twisted around with a fist, meaning to knock herself free from Hannah's grip, but the girl turned her head. Laurie hit her in the nose, the roar of the crowd growing over her. Hannah shrieked in pain. She panicked and flailed her arms. Laurie tried to get out of the way, but the hem of her dress caught on the heel of Hannah's shoe and she fell on the girl. Their heads collided and Hannah landed in the mud. Laurie rolled off of her and got up, Hannah rising with her.
Through the pain, Laurie fixated on the golden void of a vacant mask. Darkness boiled over her sensibilities, the crowd fading into memories of loud, drunken laughter. Laurie wildly hit at him with her palms, again, and again, and again, screaming without reason. It wasn't until powerful hands closed around her waist and swung her away from her target that Laurie came back to reality.
Jason set her on the ground, hard. He was staring at her, his jaw set. The sounds of Hannah's sobbing sent waves of shame over her. He let her turn to watch Candy and two other brides help Hannah out of the mud.
"Alright, alright," Aaron yelled at the crowd, pushing his way from the back. "Show's over. Time for everyone to mind their own business."
"Let's go," Jason said to Laurie, taking her by the elbow. His voice was firm, yet gentle, just like his grip.
Laurie let him steer her toward the cabin while she watched the torn hem of her dress. The women had lamented there wouldn't be entertainment for the bazaar. Well, she and Hannah had certainly supplied enough to last her a lifetime. She glanced at her husband. He stared straight ahead, his body stiff, and Laurie lowered her gaze with a sigh.
Next year I'll just volunteer to sing.
JASON
Jason drummed his thumbs against the banister post amidst the hustle and bustle in the brides' dormitory. He pretended to not notice the whispers and sidelong looks sent his way. He stopped when Biddie came down the stairs, shaking her head.
"She says she doesn't want to see you on account she's so embarrassed," said Biddie.
Jason didn't hide his annoyance. He should be with Laurie, and here he was, acting like a jilted lover. Their lives were a mess, and it was probably more his fault than he'd like to admit. "Fine," he said, pushing off the post he had been leaning against. "I have a wife to attend to." He whirled around and threw the door open. He looked back at Biddie and the other girls staring after him.
"And another thing," he said, taking a step back into the dormitory. "You snoopy females with all your whispers and rumors. Well, just be certain, when you finally walk down that blessed aisle and are joined in holy matrimony, know that my wife and I will take to our bedroom and not give one blessed thought to what's happening in yours!"
Jason slammed the door shut and tramped his way back to his cabin, breathing hard. I should have held my tongue. Blast it all, I've probably made it worse for her.
When Corky had stuck his head into the sawmill office and told him Laurie and Hannah were trying to kill each other, they hadn't believed him. He and Aaron had shared a hearty laugh until Corky insisted it was true. It had taken exactly three seconds for the seriousness of his foreman to sink in before he and Aaron jumped to their feet and took off in a sprint toward Lottie's just in time to see Laurie send Hannah back into the mud with a right hook. He wasn't sure, but through all the spectators it had looked like Laurie had thrown herself onto the other girl. Before he could wrench enough people out of the way to stop her, Laurie had sat up and repeatedly swung at Hannah's face as if she wanted the girl dead. It had taken nothing to pull her off, but the intensity she had exuded had shocked him almost speechless. And the way she immediately cooled off? Just as frightening.
He stepped onto his porch and glanced at the quilts that hid everything but Laurie's bare ankles where Candy poured water over her, little pools of muddy water collecting at her feet. He let himself into the cabin and walked to the buckets of water warming on the stove where he had left them. She could have used the water closet, but Laurie had insisted on rinsing off outside to keep the mud at bay. It was tempting to tell her it didn't matter, but it seemed better to let her have her way. Jason tested the water with his finger, and finding it hot enough, picked them up by the handles to pour into the bathtub.
My wife. My wife who just tried to break another woman's nose. He shook his head, remembering the stench Laurie limped home in. He might as well have married Holly Houston a couple of years back. Figured. Here he was, the man that brought a hundred proper girls to Seattle to find a husband, and the one time he couldn't wrestle his way out of a marriage contract was with a woman that gave all the pretenses of perfect ladylike behavior, yet when he turned his back she behaved just like that mountain wildcat. He might like Holly just fine as a friend, but never as a wife.
Lottie would say this was what he got for sidestepping commitment. More like, this was what he got for being honest. If he'd lied and told Laurie's brother he was already married—no, that wouldn't have worked. More than likely Richard would have stretched his neck on the spot. Besides, her shocking behavior and his anger aside, he wasn't all that sorry that things had turned out the way they had. The good Lord was the only one that understood what that was all about.
No, Laurie was jealous. He understood that. Grateful, even. It was a healthy sign. Candy had told him some things that Laurie and Hannah had said in front of the entire town while his wife undressed. And Laurie had been the one to talk about vulgarity when they were first married! How had things gotten so out of hand?
His jaw hardened with that thought, and to avoid answering it, he focused on refilling the buckets with water from the pump. After placing them back on the stove, he left the cabin just in time to see Laurie shiver from afresh assault of cold, clean water over her shoulders. At her feet laid a pile of destroyed clothing except for the thin chemise she still wore, now stained a muddy brown color. He picked up another quilt off the ground and held his hand out to her.
"Bath's ready."
She took his hand after she wrapped the quilt around her. "Thank you," she murmured to Candy.
"You're welcome," Candy told her. "If you need anything else, let me know."
With a nod to Candy, Jason silently led Laurie back inside. He noticed the curtains were still open in the kitchen and closed them. They had fed enough gossip to Seattle.
"Jason?"
He observed her red-rimmed eyes and tear stains trailing down her cheeks. She had rubbed the mud down enough to where it was no longer caked on her, but she still looked like something only the devil himself would have risen from the earth.
"Bath's ready," he repeated, sounding a little harsher than he had intended.
She nodded silently and walked over to the tub; her eyes fixated on the water. She dropped the quilt, discarded her chemise, and stepped in. Jason watched from across the room. Normally he'd have a very different reaction to a nude woman standing in front of him, but this? No, this was different. He was too angry. The heat that radiated from his body was anything but desire.
Once she settled into the water he handed her a cake of soap and a washcloth. He sat on the chair in the washroom and chewed the tip of his thumb while he watched her saturate the washcloth with soap before lathering her arms, neck, and face. The sight of bite marks on her shoulder, scratches on her neck, arms, and bruises on one leg plunged his heart into guilt.
Instinctively he looked away from her when she went to scrub more intimate parts. She was his wife, but they still had a long way to go toward intimacy. He heard her splashing and looked up to see her rinsing the soap off. She was methodical. No luxurious sighs of pleasure. No enticing leg stretches while she bathed. It felt almost as if she were a prisoner, and he was the guard delving out her punishment. It was too close to what she had said at camp about their home being a prison. The memory made him shift uncomfortably in his chair.
"Jason?"
He realized he was staring at her and silently scolded himself. "Yeah?"
Her eyes seemed unnaturally large. "Could you help me, please? With my back? And..." She paused and blew some air through her lips. "And my hair? The mud is hard to get out."
He automatically rose and scraped his chair across the floor, her back to him. Despite Candy rinsing her off outside, the water had become an ugly, brown soup. He hadn't seen this kind of wreckage since Jeremy and Joshua had gotten into a mud fight shortly after their father had died. Thanks to Jason's rigorous scrubbing, neither of his brothers had ever dared to throw another mud ball at each other again. At least, not until they were old enough to wash without their big brother present.
Laurie required a more delicate touch. She leaned forward and patiently waited for him to resume the washing. Her back wasn't hurt as bad as her front had been. There were signs of dirt, but mostly her skin was that luminous, creamy white complexion he had grown so fond of and no scratches. He glided the washcloth over her backbone and she shivered.
"Cold?" he asked, careful to keep his voice calm as he worked.
She shook her head. "No," she whispered. "Your touch is gentle. I wasn't expecting that."
"What were you expecting?" he asked with a frown.
Laurie bent over more. "I don't know," she said, her words barely audible. "You looked so angry. I thought you'd be a little, you know." She lifted one shoulder. "Rough."
Jason's mouth set into a firm line. He'd love to be a little rough, but something stayed his hand. Whether it was her shivering or the way she tried to hold herself perfectly still, he couldn't say until she lifted her gaze to meet his.
"You're afraid of me," he said, the distasteful words sending tendrils of surprise through his system.
Her back stiffened.
"Laurie, I won't hurt you."
"But you're still so angry."
"Yes, but..." He didn't think he was ready for this conversation. Was he mad at her, or himself? It wasn't her fault Hannah was angry. That was all on him. And the jealousy Laurie felt over his relationship with Hannah? She just needed to figure out there was nothing to be jealous of.
Instead of answering, he finished his task and handed her back the washcloth. He noticed her breasts floated just beneath the surface of the water. A groan escaped as he pulled himself up to check the water on the stove.
"Jason, I don't understand," she said, turning slightly to watch him.
The water was tepid, but it would do. He shook his head and concentrated on bringing the bucket back into the washroom.
"Lean your head back," he ordered. She did as she was told, and he poured just enough water over her hair to saturate it. She offered him the washcloth, but he shook his head, showing her a cake of sweet-smelling Castile soap. Her eyebrow raised in a silent question. "Lottie," he explained in one word.
"I'll have to thank her," she said and faced forward so he could rub it in her hair. Jason started scrubbing her hair, and he heard Laurie give a little sigh. Then she was quiet, and awkwardness spread between them.
"I, uh..." he started and had to clear his throat. "I..."
"I shouldn't have hit her," Laurie said in a tumble of words, sending him back into silence. "I shouldn't have even said what I said. She was horrible, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. But when she started inviting herself into our bedroom, I just lost it, Jason. I couldn't stand there and let her know what is or isn't going on between us, especially after I saw the two of you together outside of the saloon."
Jason's hands stilled, but Laurie didn't seem to notice.
"She insisted that our marriage interrupted your proposal—"
That again. "A misconception on her part."
"Is it? She says you went to Tacoma to buy her a ring."
Jason wiped his forehead with his sleeve. "I never bought her a ring."
"Jason, she insisted!"
"I'm telling you, there was never a ring! I never intended to propose!"
Laurie gripped the edge of the tub. "She said you went to Tacoma for the explicit reason of buying her a ring! Why are you lying? I told you I understood you had a life before me."
"I never bought her a ring!" he said, throwing his hands up in the air. "I swear on the sun, moon, and every star in the sky—I was there on business, okay? That's how we got the Brandiburg account. I bid the job long before anyone else had a mind to because I knew it would keep us busy all year. That's why I went to Tacoma."
"Then why is she so adamant? How could you let her kiss you today?"
Jason swallowed hard. "It wasn't me."
Her eyes filled with tears. "I saw you."
"That's not what I meant. I don't know, I don't know how it happened. But I am sorry for it." It wasn't enough to say he had pushed Hannah away after he realized what she had done. It wasn't enough that he had felt guilty and told her he never wanted to kiss her again. That he had argued with her. Nothing excused the fact he had dumbly stood there and let it happen. A brief, stupid moment—one he was going to regret for a very long time.
Laurie wiped her eyes with a wet hand, spreading the tears further across her face. Her nose ran and Jason grabbed a handkerchief from his pocket to give to her. "I am so sorry," she said and blew her nose. "I can't say it enough times. I know how hard it is to reconcile yourself to a life you never wanted."
"Don't, don't do that." He pushed himself up and leaned against the wall.
"She has every reason to hate me, and I had thought, that is until today, you and I might... but you still love her."
He vigorously shook his head. "Again, I don't. I never did."
"Jason! You had an understanding with her. You promised to buy her jewelry in Tacoma. What else could you have meant?"
"I promised no such thing!" said Jason, his voice indignant. "How many times do I have to say it before you'll believe me?!" A nagging memory caught his voice in his throat. He put his hand on his hips and stared past Laurie, remembering. "Oh. When I left, I think I said I'd—" He refocused on his wife. The necklace. Of all the thoughtless, jackass things to do. He'd forgotten about the necklace.
He made a frustrated noise with his lips. With a frown, he left her without a word and stormed into their bedroom. Laurie had stored the bag he used for travel on top of the armoire. He grabbed it and fished around the loose bottom layers and found the small box. Stupid. Of all the stupid, careless things...
"Jason?" Laurie called from the other room.
He carried the box with him back to the washroom and put it on the edge of the tub. Laurie carefully picked it up with pruning fingers. "What is it?" she asked without looking up.
"Hannah's present. I forgot all about it."
Laurie met his eyes. "A present?"
Jason sat across from her and impatiently gestured at the box. "Look inside."
Laurie's fingers trembled as she lifted the top of the box and peered inside. Her eyes narrowed, and she lifted her gaze to him again.
"A necklace?"
"I didn't know what to do," he admitted, taking it from her. "If I had proposed, it wouldn't have been out of love."
"I can't imagine you doing that."
"Neither could I." He smiled at her. "Which is why I bought this and extended my trip an extra night. I wasn't sure how to break it to her."
"And I intruded."
"No. I had already planned to stay and walked back to my room. You just happened to be there. I'm sorry, Laurie. I forgot all about it until now."
"Is there any possibility it still could have been an engagement present? Once you saw her again?"
She had asked it nonchalantly, but his body stilled, both of them so quiet he could hear the water drip from her hair. "No," he finally answered, looking at the box in his hands. "But then, some might argue your brother made that decision that for me."
"How can you not hate me?" she whispered.
He put the necklace in his pocket. "Because I didn't want to marry her. Whatever I felt, it wasn't the same emotions that make a man move toward marriage."
"Are you sure?"
"Mm-hmm." Liking the calmness that settled over them both, he leaned forward and began stroking her back with the washcloth, reconstituting the suds that had dried there. "Now, tell me about the dress."
"The dress?"
"I talked to Lottie. Most people think the fight was about me, and maybe that's how it started, but she said you hardly fought back until Hannah tore your dress."
"I see. It's, um, it was designed by Madame La Fève."
From Laurie's reverent tone, Jason could tell this was an important fact. "Oh well," he said, trying to keep up. "I know some designs are more important to the ladies than others..."
"No, you don't understand."
He looked at the suds that crowned her head. She was clean, and she smelled better than when they had started. "Explain it to me."
"A La Fève dress is special," she explained. "Like French silks, lace, linens... that sort of thing. My dress was even made in Paris." Her eyes had taken on the dreamy look he'd seen on Molly's face of late. There were some things a woman didn't outgrow. "But the one I was wearing was so much more than a dress from a French dressmaker. It was a gift from a childhood friend. You know, my first marriage wasn't good."
Quite the understatement.
"When Sherman died, I felt nothing other than relief. Can you imagine? A wife breathing with relief because her husband died?"
Jason knew several marriages like that. Women whose tears at their husband's grave might have been tears of joy.
"I have guilt over it sometimes," she continued with her forehead wrinkling. "The war left us with nothing but empty fields, and after the fire, we didn't even have a home. Remember, I told you I sold everything I could and still almost lacked enough money to get to San Francisco? I—we, oh... we were in rags. Only my mother's skirt made it because I was wearing it when the fire broke out, and it was too big for me. I had taken it in twice. At that point, I had forgotten how to take care of myself or even care. If it hadn't been for Doreen and Jenny, I don't think I'd have found the inner disposition to make the trip. I only chose San Francisco because Kenna was there."
"You've mentioned her before."
"Growing up, she was my best friend, like sisters," she reminded him, and he smiled. "I needed to see her. To feel something other than hate, despair, even guilt. She sheltered us, fed us, bathed us, and clothed us. That dress... she bought it for me, so I could remember who I was before Sherman. Before the beatings and the war—she bought it so I could remember I was worth nice things."
Jason grabbed a bucket, and after rinsing his hands, motioned to her. She tilted her head back, and he poured the water over her head until the water ran clear.
"What did he do to make you feel that way?" Jason asked while she rang the water out of her hair, his voice strained. "To make you feel as though you weren't worth nice things?" Laurie's eyes widened, and with prompt precision, the mask of impassiveness slammed down on her face. Inwardly Jason cursed himself and set the bucket back on the stove, hoping she could muster the courage to tell him.
"Things... gentlemen don't do," she whispered when he came back to her side.
"So I gathered," he said, not bothering to hide the contempt in his voice. She lost the mask to surprise and closed it again. Jason saw her shiver and held out a towel. She stood and squeezed her hair out before letting Jason fold it over her.
He helped her out of the tub, and with his arm around her, she looked up at him and said, "You aren't anything like him. I know I said differently in our quarrel a few weeks ago, but honestly, you're not."
"But you're still scared of me."
"Not as much as before."
"So we're making progress."
He let go of her to look her over. She was solemn as her eyes studied him just as thoughtfully.
"Are we?"
Jason pulled on his bottom lip. With an exasperated sound, he dropped his hands and stepped close. She tilted her head back to watch him, and Jason felt like a tree towering over her. He bent to examine her face, gently touching her left eye that had swelled and was turning purple.
"I think we are. How badly did she hurt you?" he murmured.
"Not terribly," she whispered back. "I think I hurt her more. And she didn't have you to help her feel better."
He smiled and dipped his head down to brush a kiss on her lips. He noticed she kept her hand on his chest for a few heartbeats before dropping it to head toward the bedroom.
"You know," she said, her hand on the door. "This was not the best of days."
"Some days are like that."
She nodded. "Jason?"
"Yeah?"
"You should tell Hannah it's over."
An unfamiliar queasiness made his stomach ache. "It's over, Laurie. She knows."
"No, I know that, but she... well, she's still holding on to the belief that there's hope, and I... I don't want to do this again." She slipped into the big room, closing the door with a quiet click.
Jason stood silent a moment, staring at the door while he pondered how women were one of the world's greatest mysteries. He walked back to the washroom and emptied the tub. He had just set his bucket down to massage his shoulder when a knock on the door attracted his attention, and when he opened it, he found Aaron standing there holding a sopping package.
"Candy says this belongs to your wife," he said, handing it to Jason. He took a handkerchief out of his pocket and started wiping his hands. "She must've dropped it when the fight started."
"Yeah?" Jason said, curiously inspecting it. "Well, thank you."
"No problem. Everything okay?"
Jason looked toward the bedroom before answering. "I don't know. It's all... confusing."
"Yeah. Two beautiful women fighting over you. I can see how that might be tough."
"Aaron."
"Question and I'm not trying to pry, but did you ever officially break it off with Hannah?"
"There was nothing to break off!"
Aaron raised his hand to ward off Jason's indignation. "Fair enough. Did you explain that to her? After you married Laurie?"
Jason cocked his head to one side. "I went over there but I didn't get the chance. I thought I told her before, but... oh, now I'm not so sure. I guess I thought marriage sent a clear signal."
"Hmm. Usually. My unasked-for advice? Make that more definite. From one friend to another."
"Yeah. My wife thinks so too."
"Smart woman. And I know you have a lot on your mind at the moment, but as soon as you can tear yourself away, we need to have another town council meeting."
"About what?!"
"I told you at the mill."
Jason pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Oh, yeah. Port Angeles."
"Well, there are a lot of folks that are pretty set on hiring a sheriff. It's long overdue, Jason," he said with a slight shake of his head when Jason snorted. "The territory is growing, and that brings in the bad as well as the good. I know it's going to set the town back financially, but if we can't calm people down..." He shrugged the rest of his sentence.
"I know, I know. Fine, how about Monday? I hate to leave Laurie just now."
"Yeah, I can imagine," Aaron said, dryly. "Why not tomorrow?"
Jason's eyebrow came up. "Have you forgotten? It's the Sabbath."
Aaron made a face as if to say, "Oh," but chuckled instead. "All right, Monday morning. Ben says he has a line on two candidates for us to look at."
"Make that Monday at noon. And I hope they're better than the last one."
"Noon? Jason, putting it off—"
"I'm not putting it off. As you pointed out, I have a little errand to run," he said, jutting his head toward the bedroom door. "After that, I'll be at your meeting."
Aaron stepped off the porch. "Brave man. Well, I'll let the others know we're meeting at Lottie's on Monday, at noon. And I hope you figure out that other little thing we were discussing at the mill before, ah... well, you know." Aaron finished stumbling over his words with a cough.
"Don't you worry. I will. I'll make sure everything will work out."
"You always do. Just don't get distracted. You need to focus on business. Get this woman thing behind you. Give Laurie a baby. That'll keep people off her back. Keep her busy too."
Jason grinned at his friend and gave a brief wave with the parcel. "I've got a mind of steel. See you Monday, Aaron, if we aren't in church."
"I wouldn't blame you if you stayed home. See you later."
Jason absently shut the door before inspecting the package. What the devil was she buying now? Most men would open it, but he wanted to let her tell him. To his way of thinking, sometimes one had to give trust before they could get it. He opened the door and found Laurie sitting at her vanity in a fresh chemise and drawers without a corset, her head on her arms, fast asleep. He quietly laid the package beside her and gently prodded her awake, trying not to notice the fresh tear stains on her cheeks.
"Jason?"
"Shh. I'm just moving you to the bed," he said as he picked her up. "A nap will do you good."
"I have a headache."
"I believe you."
She rested her head against his chest. "If I'm not crying, I've got a headache. What would life be like without one or the other?"
She sounded so sad. So lost.
Monday, he promised himself, laying her on the bed. Her eyes flickered open for a few seconds, followed by snuggling down on top of the covers, turning her back to him with a mumbled, "Thank you."
I'll set Hannah straight on Monday, he promised himself while he watched Laurie's breathing slow. And I'll talk to Josh and Jeremy about getting a loan. There's nothing that has to be done that won't keep until then. He pulled off his boots and after removing his top layers of clothing, lay beside his wife. He put his arm around her midsection to hold her close in a spooning position.
Within moments she had nestled into his arms, and Jason shook his head at himself. It seemed their lives were like the tide, a constant ebb and flow of laughter and tears. Anger followed by softness. Joy followed by pain. He blinked hard before closing his eyes and hoped the pattern might lengthen from hours to days and days to weeks. Maybe someday they'd even have a month to enjoy without a single tear. Was it so much to ask for a quiet life? Not newlywed bliss. He didn't want to ask too much of the Lord. Just a nice, quiet, boring life.
As many times as circumstances had knocked him down, he'd always gotten back up. He didn't see any reason to let circumstances win now. He kissed the back of Laurie's neck, tasting the tang of salt from perspiration. It was hot in the room, but the pang in his gut kept him snuggled against her. He had a reason now, more than ever, to make his marriage work.
If only Laurie could see it.