Summary: Inquisitor Miraak expected much from his new appointment, but he'd not expected the first real test of his reign to be aimed, not at him, but at his partner. But with Dorian's family having heard all about Dorian's involvement with not just the Inquisition but its Dragonborn Inquisitor, Miraak finds himself meeting the parents... and where a Dovah is concerned, there's no such thing as just talking.
A/N: Last Resort of Good Men! It's meet the parents time! Warnings for all the canon stuff, plus a fair bit of emotional trauma, especially on Dorian's part.
War table options set and it was time to take a walk, check on the holdings, meet people, make sure everything was unfolding as it should. Maybe make sure Varric was all right, he wasn't taking Corypheus's return well. Maybe make sure Cole was behaving. The spirit was… unpredictable but mostly harmless. However, his first night here he'd wanted to mercy-kill one of the wounded soldiers. Miraak saw the need for that, he truly did. But not when they'd got the man off the battlefield and had healers available. It was saying something that Cicero the Dark Brotherhood assassin had been less likely to go on a stabbing spree in his base than the spirit of compassion.
"Inquisitor! If I might have a moment of your time?"
Mother Giselle. They'd not had a chance to speak since the ceremony. Miraak had been too keen on sweeping Dorian off his feet and seeing these fancy new quarters he'd been promised. But he had a feeling she might have been behind the decision to appoint him.
"So I am. Do I have you to thank for that?"
"Ah, Your Worship. I have done no more than state the obvious to those who most needed to hear it."
That was a yes then.
"Well, you have my thanks," Miraak told her. "There are many days when that is my job too. I fear those will only increase."
"I am sure of it, but you are not a man shy to state his opinions," Giselle said, falling into step beside him as they made their way through the Great Hall. "Love or hate someone, few don't know your opinions on them."
True enough. When you had the Thu'um at your disposal, none gave you any trouble regardless, so why bother lying? Still, he had a feeling Thedosian politics might be about to give him trouble in that regard. No matter. Orlais could wait for now.
"Have I expressed some opinions that could get me in trouble?" Miraak asked. News of the Inquisition declaring the mages in its service had proved themselves might be one of them, but Leliana assured him she would monitor the situation, and Corypheus's arrival might well give everyone bigger things to think about. Josephine had also been of the opinion that finding out they had bigger problems might cause the otherwise opposed to see the wisdom of his decision.
Good. They'd better. But Mother Giselle did tend to see the wisdom of most of his… and last night, Dorian had told him he'd somehow managed to win her over.
"No," Giselle said calmly. "Your star, for now, is rising. And… when we spoke after Haven, I expressed concerns over your choice of partner. My lord, I wish to offer my apologies. It was unworthy of me. I have had a chance to speak with the young man now. He is… not what I expected. Underneath that glib exterior lies a troubled soul, messere. He is more fragile than he lets on. He is estranged from his family, I know, and I become more convinced having spoken to him that he has good reason to be."
That did stop Miraak. Dorian had spoken of his family estrangement? To Mother Giselle?
"You know something," Miraak said, frowning. "What? He does not speak much of his family, although I know they have not treated him well."
That was obvious, even if Dorian hadn't revealed his mother used to beat him for effeminacy. Dorian was a man used to being on his own, to not trusting other people, not letting anyone in. Miraak had also been forced to spend years alone, but he knew how to let other people in once he did trust them. Whereas Dorian had spent days stewing over not being worthy of being his partner and afraid he'd just drag Miraak down and it had never once occurred to him to talk to Miraak about it. Until last night, and apparently that had been Mother Giselle's suggestion.
Giselle produced a letter, face growing sombre.
"His family have been in contact. They heard he was involved with the Inquisition and are… concerned."
Miraak's entire brain shifted its focus, everything else fading away as he settled on one fact. Dorian's family were here. Dorian's family were sniffing around.
Dorian's fucking family who had hurt him in the first place were trying to interfere with his Inquisition, with his bloody consort.
Miraak was having none of it.
"Oh?" Miraak breathed, seeing the world turn purple and seeing the priestess step back in shock and realise his eyes were probably glowing. Damn it. Hastily he shook his head and wrestled his magic back under control.
"My apologies," Miraak said, forcing a smile. "Why are they concerned? Are they Venatori? Or are they just concerned Dorian might actually start liking himself and find happiness."
"My lord, he is their son," Giselle said, reproving him a little. "They are concerned he is putting himself in harm's way. Magister Pavus acknowledges he may have wronged his son. He merely wishes to talk. Where is the harm in that?"
"My voice can kill a man, and you ask me that?" Miraak snapped, before pulling himself together. "Ugh. Krosis. You'll forgive me if I don't like the idea of his parents anywhere near him. Why are they writing to you anyway."
"Because they do not know you, Inquisitor, and I do not believe they trust your intentions," Giselle sighed. "Even before yesterday, your association with him was known. I believe they fear you may be using him."
"Hah, there's irony," Miraak said bitterly, recalling how she'd implied Dorian was doing that very thing to him. "Do they really think so little of their own son that his wit and charm might not have been enough to captivate me on their own?"
"I don't think that, but you're an imposing and powerful figure," Giselle said gently. "They could be forgiven for feeling nervous."
Miraak was not going to forgive House Pavus a goddamned thing any time soon. They'd produced the most perfect, beautiful man he'd ever met and cast him out. What was wrong with them?
"You still haven't said why they wrote to you," Miraak growled. "And I still have no reason to believe this really is his parents and not a Venatori plot."
"I am a Chantry Mother, Your Worship," Giselle said, voice still calm even in the face of Miraak's clear anger. "Not of the Imperial Chantry but they know what I represent. I don't believe it is a Venatori plot but if it is, all the more reason to put this in your hands. You are far better equipped to deal with such a problem than I."
"I am," Miraak murmured, allowing himself a smile at that. Even if part of him would far rather get his hands on Dorian's parents.
"They wish to meet him, that's all," Giselle urged, hand on his wrist. "They have a retainer waiting in the tavern at Redcliffe. They have asked me to bring Dorian to meet him there, without telling Dorian what awaits. I think you should go in my stead."
Miraak thought that too, but had no intention of bringing Dorian to this unwarned. Time to find him. He'd not expected to meet Dorian's family so soon, and certainly not like this… but part of him was looking forward to it.
"If you're after Messere Pavus, he's in the garden with the Commander," one of the Inquisition guards told him, and Miraak was pleased to know Dorian was getting a Messere. He'd need to lurk incognito in the tavern to learn the true state of affairs, but Miraak had high hopes. The Inquisition would follow loyally, and respecting his partner was part of that.
Sure enough, Dorian and Cullen were seated at a table in the garden's cloisters, with some sort of game board in front of them, both looking intently at it.
"Ah! I think I have you," Dorian said, grinning triumphantly as he moved one of the black pieces then smirked at Cullen. "You know, you need to come to terms with my inevitable victory. You'll feel so much better."
"Really," Cullen replied, answering grin firmly in place as he moved one of his pieces. "Because I just won. And I feel fine."
Dorian gasped, stared at the board, making little spluttering noises as he analysed the situation and realised he was indeed checkmated… then glared at Cullen.
"Don't get smug. There will be no living with you," Dorian said tetchily, and then both of them noticed Miraak watching.
"Oh! Inquisitor!" Cullen gasped, going scarlet. "I, er, should return to my duties…"
"Yes, please get him back to calibrating the trebuchets, he is so much less smug when he's doing that," Dorian sighed.
"We don't have any trebuchets yet," Miraak pointed out. They were still on their way from Haven – quite where they were going to go was anyone's guess but Miraak presumed Cullen would find somewhere.
"No, but there's a hundred other things to do, Maker's Breath," Cullen cursed as he got up. "I guess Dorian will need to wait a few days to attempt to get his revenge."
"Attempt? Attempt? You just wait, Cullen, next time…!"
Miraak put an arm round Dorian, pointedly pulling him closer.
"Perhaps you should let my military commander get back to work, hmm," Miraak told him. "You know, Cullen, you do not have to take this one's orders. He's consort, he's not actually in the chain of command."
"I know, but he's remarkably persuasive and it's been a while since I played," Cullen said wistfully. "Let me know if you want a game some time, Inquisitor. Happy to oblige. Or teach you, if you've never played."
It was something to think about. Cullen left and Dorian started packing the board up.
"Careful there, amatus, he's a good player," Dorian said, ruefully shaking his head as he filed the pieces away. "I learnt the game off my father, got good at it with Alexius, thought I was a skilled player. Alas for underestimating the man."
"Alas," Miraak said, remembering why he'd come here. "Dorian, I… a letter arrived. You need to see it."
"Ooh, a letter! Is it saucy?" Dorian asked, losing patience with the pawns and levitating the remaining pieces into the box en masse. "A humorous proposal from an Antivan dowager? A Chantry Mother's secret assignations?"
"Dorian," Miraak snapped, wishing he'd take this at least a little seriously. "Here. It's from your father."
"My fathe-" The good humour was gone in an instant as Dorian held out his hand for the letter and read its contents, growing steadily angrier. "Rebuffed all contact – there's a reason for that. I know him – know me? What my father knows about me would barely fill a thimble! Alarmed by the thought of me in danger – danger? I'm safer with you than anyone else in Thedas! Don't look at me like that, Miraak, you're a terrifying demigod with a protective streak bigger than the Frostbacks."
Of course he was, but it was always nice to think of Dorian feeling safe with him.
"Shall we meet him together then," Miraak asked. "So you can shout at him in person?"
"What, meet the parents?" Dorian laughed bitterly… and then he sighed and sat down, shaking his head. "Oh Miraak. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to drag you into my sordid family past. We're estranged for a reason, you know. They don't approve of my choices, nor I theirs. And I can't imagine hearing I'm involved with the Inquisitor will help either. I can't imagine they approve of you."
"Their loss," Miraak said, shrugging. "I don't care about their approval. You love me. I love you. We need nothing from them."
Pulling the other chair over, he sat down next to Dorian, taking his hand in his.
"Dorian. You know I approve of your choices. You know you have my support. I won't let you face this alone, you know that."
"I know," Dorian said, squeezing his head, smiling sadly at him. "Amatus, I… thank you. You know, I'm so glad I met you. You've changed my life, you know. I'm used to being alone in the world, moving through it without ever being touched by it but you… you walked into my life and now I can't imagine being without you. I've never been in a proper relationship before, you know. I had no idea what to expect. I didn't… I didn't expect any of this. I just thought it'd be like some casual affair but we didn't have to worry about snatching time or getting caught. But it is so much more than that. Because suddenly I don't just have affection on tap, I've got someone at my back looking out for me. I'm not alone. I've got an ally. I'm still not used to this, you know. But I'm so glad of it. Especially when something like this comes up. I'd hate to be in this alone. Or if Mother Giselle had gone along with his plan… why would my father think I'd go with her? Did he not realise I spent my entire adult life avoiding Chantries?"
"And ironically we met in one," Miraak said, remembering that day fondly. "Ah, fariiki. You're a delight, you know. Yes. I'll let the Council know I'll be travelling. I'll bring Alistair too. Give him something to do. Also he has that Templar training. If things go south, it could be invaluable. It is your father's handwriting? You're sure it's not a Venatori forgery?"
"It's from him," Dorian said, closing his eyes. "I mean, he might have joined the Venatori of course. But they're expecting just me and Mother Giselle, they're not expecting you to turn up. If it turns out to be a trap, we kill everyone and get out. You're good at that!"
The Arl of Redcliffe might not be so forgiving, but nor would he be pleased at the prospect of Tevinter mages in his town. An apology and gold would probably win him over. Wasn't he related to Alistair in some way? Alistair called the man Uncle Teagan. Yes, definitely worth bringing his brother.
Alistair had been delighted to go to Redcliffe, in fact he'd wanted to go anyway, do some family research. So off they'd travelled, just the three of them plus Inquisition guards, and it turned out Arl Teagan was quite pleased to see Alistair again… but less pleased to see Miraak.
"Inquisitor Miraak. I suppose I have you to thank for ousting that magister."
"Indeed. Dorian here assisted as well. His help was invaluable."
Arl Teagan's eyes flicked to Dorian and while his facial expression didn't change, he wasn't fool enough to disregard Dorian in front of his Inquisitor partner.
"Of course. Messere Pavus has my thanks. I heard that in the wake of all this you've taken responsibility for the rebels… and decided to back their cause?"
"I have," Miraak said, folding his arms. "They have served me well… and I am not such a hypocrite that I would order one thing for other mages while avoiding it myself. And there is no Circle built that could hold me for long."
Arl Teagan did not look happy, but Dorian was smiling and Alistair was beaming.
"He's great, isn't he, Uncle?" Alistair said cheerfully. "So anyway, can we stay here for a couple of days. I wanted to check a few things in the old records, and Dorian's father's retainer's a guest in the tavern. Miraak and Dorian are going to meet him."
"I'm aware of a Tevinter mage staying there," Arl Teagan said, glowering. "He's done no harm so far and he's paying good coin not to be bothered, but… after his countrymen's actions, the sooner he's gone, the better. Fine. You can stay. Before you settle in though, I was going to send this to your Ambassador, but seeing as you're here…"
He presented Miraak with a list… which turned out to be a reparations bill for damaged buildings and injuries caused by magical accidents.
"If they're your people, you can help pay for it," Teagan said coolly. Dorian glanced at the list and whistled.
"That's… rather a lot," Dorian said. "If you need to cancel the furnishing orders, I quite understand."
"I'll speak with Josephine," Miraak said, pocketing the list. "I'm sure we can find the money from somewhere. Failing that, we have construction workers. Some of them could assist with repairs in lieu of coin."
"That would be acceptable," Teagan nodded. "All right, my steward here will show you to your accommodation. Alistair, stay a minute."
Miraak and Dorian left, and Teagan got up from the high seat, leading Alistair aside.
"Records," Teagan said softly. "Which records."
"My mother's old records," Alistair admitted. "The death certificate. How and when she died. My birth certificate. There's… a few inconsistencies in things I've found out so far. I thought I should check them. Have you got anything here or is it all in the Chantry?"
"There's not much here from thirty years ago, Alistair," Teagan sighed. "But the Chantry will have the records. It's blasphemy to tamper with a Chantry record book or dispose of it, it'll be there. Only Eamon told me before he died that he'd had yours sealed. According to the previous Revered Mother, he'd tried to get her to burn them, but she refused. Apparently sealing the contents was all she'd agree to. No, I don't know why. He wouldn't say, only it was for your own good. I don't… look, you're a grown man and it's your past. You want to see them, I will get you a writ to open them. Only… just take care, Alistair. You might not like what you see."
"Right," Alistair said quietly. "I mean… thanks. I'll be careful."
Bit late for that. Merely that they'd been sealed by Eamon, known political manipulator, told him something was up. For his own good? Not a decision that man ever made had truly been for Alistair's own good. Alistair fingered the repaired Andrastian amulet that had been all he had from his mother.
If his growing intuition turned out to be correct, even that might be a lie.
The following morning and after breakfast, it was unanimously felt that it was best not to put this off, so off to the Gull and Lantern it was.
The tavern was deserted.
"That's not good," Alistair whispered. "There's usually someone in here, even if it's just the bar staff."
Footsteps on the stairs, and all three looked up to see a man emerging. Fine Tevinter clothes. Dark skin like Dorian's. Dark hair. And from the way Dorian had stiffened, known to him.
"Father," Dorian said, instinctively both going on guard and moving closer to Miraak. And Miraak… Miraak looked on Magister Halward Pavus and behind the mask, his face grimaced in a snarl, his hands moving to Dorian's shoulders, ready to drag him out of the way or out of the tavern if he had to.
"Magister Pavus," Miraak growled. "We were told to expect a retainer and yet here you are. I do not appreciate being lied to."
Halward Pavus's eyes widened as he looked Miraak over, taking him in, sensing Miraak's aura… and then he glared, shaking his head.
"Inquisitor Miraak. You were not supposed to be involved."
"So I surmised," Miraak purred, hoping the hostility in his stance burned. "And yet here I am. Involved. Because you used false pretences and deception to attempt to lure Dorian out here without him knowing he'd be meeting you, and you wished me kept ignorant. Did you honestly think I would not find out, and that on finding out, I would permit it."
Halward did growl at this, lips curling, and if Miraak had wished to make a good impression on his father-in-law, he was manifestly failing. Miraak found he didn't care.
"Your intentions towards my son are precisely what concerned me enough to come!" Halward snapped. "Between the Venatori, Templars and you? I can't even begin to work out which is the bigger threat but I do know precisely who's ensnared my son!"
Miraak's magic started to prickle and he was this close to unleashing his Thu'um… until Dorian squeezed his hand.
"Will you listen to yourself, father!" Dorian cried. "Ensnared? I chose to join the Inquisition and I chose to spend time with Miraak, and I chose to commit myself as his partner! I'm not a child, father! I've got a will of my own, you know. Even if you would prefer it otherwise."
Something in the way he'd said that. Something about that reminded him of Liriel's tone of voice when they'd first met at Haven, when she'd suspected he was using Bend Will to secure Inquisition loyalty.
Dorian had reacted particularly badly to the idea of magical mind control, and Miraak at the time had just thought him to be a decent and honourable man who was revolted by the idea, and of course this was likely the case. But… had Halward Pavus tried to do something like it to Dorian? Because he wouldn't play along with an arranged marriage?
Miraak said nothing, because all his control was going into reining in his magic and his Voice, because if he'd done that or tried to do that to Dorian…
"Dorian," Halward breathed, staring at him in horror. "Dorian, no, it is not like that. But you are in danger just by being here and associating with him makes you a target. Dorian, please come home."
"Home? Tevinter's never felt less like home," Dorian snapped. "Why are you really here, father."
Halward closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead. "I just wanted to make sure you were safe, my son."
"Of course I'm safe, the most powerful man in Thedas devoted himself to keeping me from harm!" Dorian snapped, taking Miraak's hand in his then kissing his fingers once. "I've never once felt in serious danger from him and the one time it came near that… that's when he stepped back and told to leave for my own sake. We talked it out. I didn't, in the end. Miraak's given me no cause to regret any of it. I'm safer in Miraak's arms than I ever was in your house!"
Miraak's suspicions crystallised into certainty.
"What did he do to you," Miraak growled, seeing the world start to turn blue, and knowing his eyes were glowing but truly not caring by this point.
"Dorian," Halward gasped, staggering back and casting a protective barrier. "Dorian, everything your mother and I did, it was for your own good!"
"For my own good!" Dorian gasped, wiping a tear from his eye. "For my own good? For nothing more than your own fucking legacy, that was what it was! The next generation of Pavus pawns was all you wanted! Well, no more! If I ever raise children, I will take every step in my power to make sure you and Mother get nowhere near them!"
Dorian was getting more and more emotional, and Halward's face was wracked with distress and guilt, and Miraak placed a hand on Dorian's shoulder.
"What did they do," Miraak said softly, needing to hear this. Dorian's distress went beyond beatings and strict boarding schools.
Dorian had fallen quiet, but he was shaking with fury and there were little purple wreaths around his own fingers.
"He taught me to hate blood magic, you know," Dorian said, voice quiet and tight and laced with pain. "The last resort of the weak-minded, those were his words! And what did he do when his precious heir refused to play pretend for the rest of his life? He tried to… change me!"
Blood magic. On Dorian. His Dorian. His beautiful, beloved Dorian, and if it had worked, he'd never have looked twice at Miraak.
Miraak relinquished any semblance of control, sensing only harm done to his mate and everything in him requiring him to retaliate.
"FUS RO DAH!"
Halward's barrier wasn't enough to withstand the Thu'um and he fell staggering back. Miraak drew his sword and stalked over, casting mage armour and preparing to strike.
Heavy footsteps moving quickly and a hand smacking into his chest, but it was gauntleted, not leather-wrapped.
"Don't," Alistair said firmly. "Don't kill him. Maker knows he's got it coming, but don't."
Then he turned to Halward, hand gesturing and Miraak felt the power come from him, feeling like the Thu'um… but no words from Alistair's lips. But the magic at Halward Pavus's fingers had gone out, and Miraak couldn't sense his aura any more.
"Get out," Alistair said, venom in his voice that Miraak hadn't thought him capable of. "I'm saving your life because Dorian doesn't deserve to see his father murdered in front of him, but don't think I think you're anything other than an appalling parent. No, don't say anything, any of you. It's true. Dorian can't help being who he is. He likes men. Only men. And even if you wanted legitimate grandkids that badly, you could at least have picked out a wife he liked personally, arranged artificial insemination for the kids then let him have whatever lover he liked. But no. You engaged him against his will to someone he hated, and when for some reason he didn't like it, you tried to use blood magic on him? Even in Tevinter, that's wrong."
Halward Pavus was slowly getting to his feet, not looking at either Alistair or Miraak. All his attention was on Dorian.
"Dorian… I'm sorry. I only came to hear your voice one more time… and ask your forgiveness."
Dorian wasn't looking at any of this. He'd closed his eyes and averted his gaze when Miraak had moved on his father with lethal intent… and tellingly, he'd not made a move to stop it. Even now he had hunched his shoulders, back turned, hands covering his face.
Harknir Hrongarsson would never in a million years have ever pleaded for Miraak's forgiveness. But he'd also been fundamentally an honest man and for all he'd argued with Miraak, had never tried to change him. And Miraak had still mourned his death.
Gods damn it. Miraak put his sword away and went over to Dorian, seeing his beloved in pain and wanting to help, even if he had no idea how. Killing Halward Pavus probably wasn't the way.
Back turned to Magister Pavus, and Miraak reached for his mask and pulled it off, shaking his hair loose, and letting the mask fall to the top of the bar with a heavy thud. It got Dorian's attention, and he looked up, saw Miraak's real face and then seconds later he was in Miraak's arms, sobbing silent tears on Miraak's chest.
"You don't have to," Miraak murmured to him. "Even if he is your father. Fariiki, his guilt is his to bear. You shouldn't have to. Shall we go home?"
Dorian said nothing and then he nodded, squeezing Miraak tight and not looking up as Miraak picked up the mask and led him out, beckoning Alistair to come with him. Halward was watching Dorian, clearly heartbroken, but Dorian didn't even look his way. Miraak, however, did and took pleasure in the surprise on his face.
"Were you expecting some demonic horror?" Miraak said, amused. "We told you. Dorian made his choices for a reason. And I've done nothing but take care of him and love him. Perhaps you should have tried it."
"Miraak," Dorian said, voice muffled. "Miraak, I want to go home."
"Of course," Miraak murmured, planting a kiss on the top of Dorian's head. "Come on, amatus, let's get you out of here."
Yes, let Halward Pavus hear him call that and realise just how close they were. Let him see just how completely he'd replaced Dorian's parents in Dorian's affections. It was a small victory, although he wished for Dorian's sake things had been different. He wasn't even sure Halward's heartbreak hadn't been real.
But Halward Pavus had had the first thirty years of Dorian's life to build a loving relationship with his son, and he'd failed so spectacularly Dorian couldn't even bear to be in the same room as him. Love wasn't enough to heal some wounds.
Leaving the tavern with Dorian in his arms and Alistair at his back, Miraak stepped out into the Ferelden sunshine. Time to get his beloved back to the castle to be fussed over. His parents may have failed Dorian about as spectacularly as was possible to fail a child. Miraak had no intention of doing so.
Alistair had left for Redcliffe Chantry but not before pulling Dorian into a gentle but no less sincere hug, kissing him on the cheek and holding him for a good thirty seconds before letting him go. Had Alistair not been married, Miraak might have had to have a word, but as it was, Dorian probably needed all the comfort he could get.
"You take care, mate," Alistair told Dorian, patting his cheek. "And just you remember, you're brilliant, there's nothing wrong with you and your dad is… your dad managed to screw up worse than mine did. You don't have to forgive him."
Dorian nodded, still not saying anything, and then Alistair promised to meet them back at the castle before disappearing. Arm round Dorian, and Miraak led him back to their room at the castle, before sitting Dorian down on the room's chaise and fetching two pillows and spare blanket from the cupboard. Then lying him down on the chaise with a pillow for his head and wrapping the blanket over him.
Pillow number two was for Miraak to kneel on while he stroked Dorian's hair.
Dorian still hadn't said anything, just mutely going along with whatever Miraak directed, and frankly Miraak was worried by this point. Dorian was never normally this quiet.
But he did reach out and start stroking Miraak's hair, sad eyes looking up at him, tears rolling down his face.
"I'm sorry, amatus," Dorian said softly. "I didn't mean to drag you into this."
He sounded quiet and unhappy and very unlike his normal outgoing self.
"None of this was your fault and you have nothing to apologise for," Miraak told him, heart aching for him and the urge to go back to that tavern and finish the job on Halward Pavus ever present. But no. Dorian needed him.
Dorian closed his eyes and looked down.
"I don't think I ever would have told you if he hadn't come after me," Dorian said. "I still can't believe he did it. That he even thought it would work. I always trusted him, you know. I knew from a young age there was no pleasing my mother but he always cared. At least, I thought he did. And then these hired thugs take me prisoner and drag me back to Qarinus, I'm a prisoner in my own family home, and then one night he tries… that. It was the slaves saved me, you know? One of them found out what was going on and helped me escape. I think he was using her husband's blood for… Never did find out what happened to her. I hope she's all right."
If Miraak ever found that slave, he'd have the Inquisition buy her then free her on the spot. As it was, he settled for patting Dorian' s back, wrapping an arm round him and resting his cheek against Dorian's.
"There's a reason hearing you'd enslaved an entire island with the Thu'um bothered me, you know," Dorian said quietly. "I mean, it would bother anyone but… if my father was prepared to run the risk of using blood magic, of risking turning me into a drooling vegetable to avoid scandal, what would stop you if I got out of line?"
"Dorian," Miraak whispered, lump in his throat because Dorian couldn't still believe that, he couldn't! "I would never hurt you!"
"I didn't think he would either," Dorian whispered, closing his eyes. "There's a reason I pretend nothing matters. It's easier that way. They can't betray you if they never get close. But then I met you and I can't shut you out, no matter how hard I try. Everything in me wants to just fall into your arms, but I'm so afraid and… Maker, what the hell do you think of me now, after this. Now you've seen the real me. Angry and bitter and hostile and shoving everyone I love away so they can't get at me."
"I'm not going anywhere," Miraak told him, reaching for Dorian's hand and nestling closer, because he was out of his depth and scared and Dorian was being… no. Dorian was hurt and scared and vulnerable, and Miraak couldn't help but think of Dorian in the tent next to him somewhere in the Frostbacks whispering how had Miraak not gone off him.
Dorian really didn't like himself very much, which was something completely beyond Miraak's understanding, both because Miraak had never struggled with self-esteem in his life, and because in his opinion, there was literally nothing wrong with Dorian.
Silence between them for a long time, and then Dorian spoke again.
"Amatus?"
"Yes, lokaal?"
"I don't want you to go. I'm glad you're here. I love you so much it terrifies me. Sometimes I think you'd be better off with someone else, someone who actually can do relationships and isn't broken."
"You are not broken. You were hurt. It's not the same. And I still love you and will take care of you."
Miraak could feed him and hug him and keep him warm and keep him company and provide a listening ear anyway. Whether it would help, he didn't know. But Dorian would need all of it, so Miraak would provide.
Dorian made a little whimpering noise and clung on to Miraak, head buried in his hair, and Miraak held on to him, hating seeing Dorian cry, absolutely hating it, scared himself to see it. But he held Dorian to him, trying to soothe him as best he could, kissing his forehead and holding him, waiting until Dorian finally stopped crying and dried his eyes.
"Herald of Andraste," Dorian finally gasped, withdrawing but not letting go of his hands. "You really are, aren't you."
"Dorian," Miraak sighed. "You know my story. I was trapped in the demonic realm of the Daedra of Forbidden Knowledge for millennia and it was Corypheus who freed me. There was nothing holy in it."
Dorian was shaking his head, smiling despite the tears still on his cheek.
"No," Dorian said softly. "No, you must be. The Maker himself must have sent you. There's no other explanation. You're just too beautiful and perfect not to be."
"This isn't the prelude to another oration on my cheekbones, is it?" Miraak said warily. Not that he minded exactly, but it was a little awkward sometimes. Miraak was more used to seeing his desirability in terms of what he could do and what he commanded, his ability to provide the world for his lover. Having said lover constantly obsessing over Miraak's alleged adorability was unnerving. Still… it was rather endearing.
Dorian just smiled and stroked his jawline.
"You know, it's occurred to me that if I wasn't attracted to men, I wouldn't be attracted to you," Dorian said thoughtfully. "And that… I can't even imagine that, you know. I mean, look at you, you're beautiful. I can't take my eyes off you. The eyes. The cheekbones. The hair. That strong, powerful jaw. The shoulders. The muscles. The thighs. Everything. Can you imagine looking at that and not wanting it? I can't! I… I have never been so glad my father didn't succeed, you know. I…"
Dorian's lips twisted in a grimace as he sat up, suddenly furious.
"How dare he, how fucking dare he? How dare he try to… how dare he try and prevent the best thing that ever happened to me?"
Dorian looked like he was about to cry again and Miraak gathered him into his arms again, feeling rather gratified at being the reason for Dorian to actually be angry at his father.
"How dare he indeed, fariiki," Miraak murmured. "My precious one. My life would be nothing without you."
"Oh, I doubt that," Dorian laughed, nuzzling him. "If not me, someone else would have snapped you up. You're both powerful and beautiful, that's an appealing combination. You, love, are a catch. I'm not entirely sure I am… but there's no end to the list of things to love about you."
"You are more than worth loving and you saved me from the Dark Future," Miraak told him. "How can I not love you."
Dorian said nothing, backing off a little to see Miraak's face, smiling sadly at him.
"I am the most selfish man alive because I don't deserve you, not at all," Dorian said softly. "But damned if I am ever giving you up."
Dorian's lips met Miraak's and Miraak closed his eyes, sighing in happiness at his lover feeling more like himself, because Miraak did not think Dorian was selfish, not remotely. Not nearly as self-centred as he was, for a start. And yet Miraak, had he but realised it, had just spent the last half-hour fussing over and doting on Dorian without even thinking about it and begrudging none of it, and would do the same for any friend – maybe not the kissing part, but the rest.
"If I am a gift from the Maker in reward for your sufferings, then you would be a fool to turn it down," Miraak murmured as the kiss broke off, and Dorian laughed, delighted.
"I would, wouldn't I," Dorian said, smiling. "Ah, amatus. Thank you. Without you, this… this would have been a mess. I mean, it was. But… having you here… it's helped. It truly has. My father was wrong, wasn't he. And I even feel sorry for him. But… he can't just walk back into my life and expect forgiveness. It'll need to be earned."
Miraak didn't like the sound of that. He'd have preferred no contact.
"What did you have in mind," Miraak said warily.
"Could I write to him, do you think," Dorian said, thinking things over. "Mother never goes to his Magisterium office, I could write to him there."
Miraak did not like the idea at all, but he supposed Dorian was going to try regardless.
"Yes, I suppose," Miraak sighed. "I'll tell Josephine to make sure it gets there. But anything he sends back is going via Leliana to be read before it gets to you. If it seems tailored to upset you, the correspondence ends."
"Overprotective to the end, aren't you," Dorian said, stroking his face. "Look, he'll still be in the tavern, right? I… could go back and talk. Maybe it'll go better this time?"
Miraak growled, blue light filling the room and his eyes were glowing again, he could tell.
"If he hurts you, Dorian…" Miraak said, every word a warning.
"We'll be in a tavern," Dorian sighed, trying to reassure him. The attempt failed. "What's he going to try?"
Miraak truly didn't like the idea, but if Dorian was set on this… damned if Miraak wasn't giving him a way to call for help. Miraak gestured, and the orb flew to him. Drawing it around Dorian in a circle, Miraak sat back as it hovered at Dorian's shoulder.
"The orb will go with you," Miraak told him. "You will have privacy to talk but if the orb detects any magic, it'll act. Also if you need help, shout Gol Hah at it. It'll bring me."
"You aren't seriously considering using that thing to cast Bend Will on my father, are you?" Dorian sighed. "Maker help you, Miraak."
Miraak noted full well the lack of serious disapproval there and smiled.
"If it is merited, I'd do it," Miraak said, stroking Dorian's cheek. "Niid faas. I'd lift the magic once we'd arrested him and got him under guard with Templars on watch. I promised Alistair and you not to kill him. But if he tries anything, arresting him and telling the King of Tevinter in detail exactly what he did and sending him back in disgrace is very possible."
"Archon, Miraak, Tevinter's ruled by the Archon," Dorian told him. "Honestly, pay attention. Josephine will have a fit if she hears you casually mistitling rulers of entire countries. But that aside, yes I rather think that fitting. There was a bit of a scandal at the time but with me refusing to testify, no proof. Honestly, I wanted to run away from the whole thing. But if he turns out to not have learned anything… yes, Miraak, do it. With you at my back, I think I could cope with it. You're just… so fearless. I do love you, you know."
"And I you," Miraak told him, helping Dorian up and reaching for the mask, already regretting this. "Come, lokaaliin, let's go."
Miraak had left Dorian at the Gull and Lantern, but the orb Dorian was already thinking of as the Eye of Miraak was hovering at his shoulder, pulsing with magic. Miraak's magic. It was a little like having his amatus there, except less likely to rip someone's head off if they looked at Dorian the wrong way. Which was probably a good thing.
Dorian asked at the bar and learned the Tevinter gentleman was still upstairs, and finally found his father packing.
Shit. Well. Of course he was, why would he want to stick around in Ferelden after this?
"Father," Dorian said quietly. There were informal titles for one's parents even in Tevinter, but if Dorian called him papa, he'd probably end up bawling all over him and Maker knew that wasn't happening. Miraak was the only man he felt comfortable crying all over.
Halward Pavus stopped, stared and turned to Dorian, blood draining form his face.
"Dorian," he breathed. "I… did not know you were coming back."
"Nor did I," Dorian said sombrely. "Look, Miraak and Alistair aren't with me, Alistair had some research to do and Miraak… well, he's a darling and I love him, but he's ridiculously protective of his loved ones and I felt this conversation might go better if he wasn't in the corner radiating magically charged disapproval. But he's still watching. This thing? It's the Eye of Miraak. It's watching you to make sure no blood magic happens. Anything happens to me, Miraak will know about it and this time, Alistair won't intervene, in fact he'll probably help."
Halward was shaking his head, grieved to hear it.
"Dorian, it was not my intention… I did not come here to harm you. I came because I feared for you. Your brute of a consort has not reassured me on that score."
"He's not…! All right, he is, but if his sole experience of someone is that they once performed blood magic on someone he loves with the intent of making it impossible for them to love him any more, he's not going to take it lying down!" Dorian sighed. "I'm here, aren't I? I talked him out of further violence. And he agreed to keep his distance. The Eye is a compromise, a means for me to summon assistance. Yes, I know, it's sad it's necessary… but it is. And it is your actions made it so."
Lump in Dorian's throat but he shoved it down. Stay angry, Dorian. Remember Miraak's beautiful cheekbones and that if Halward had had his way, Dorian would have been left thinking there was nothing special about them. Nothing special?
Those cheekbones were proof the Maker existed and loved Dorian very much, and Dorian took strength from thinking about them.
"Dorian… I am sorry," Halward said softly. "I felt I had no choice. The lifestyle you were living – it was a road to ruin. I felt… I felt if I acted… maybe you would finally be able to be happy."
"Happy?" Dorian gasped, the world going briefly dark which was not a good sign, it meant his magic was fighting for expression, and the Eye was gearing up too. Dorian breathed and got himself calmer, with an effort.
"Father, with all due respect, parents who loved me for me would have made me happy," Dorian sighed. "As it is… I'm actually glad it worked out how it did. It meant I came here with no ties back home, and meant I was free to love Miraak. I do, you know. Freely. I suppose you actually got your wish. I am happy with him. Ridiculously so. I don't expect you to understand. But it is true."
"Was he why you joined the Inquisition," Halward said bitterly, glancing up at him. "Just because of a pretty face."
"No!" Dorian cried. "I never even saw him with the mask off before I joined properly. I sought him out because Gereon Alexius had joined the Venatori and was ruining time and space using magic I helped develop. I needed help and the Inquisition were the only game in town. I didn't for one moment expect the Herald to develop an immediate crush and start helping because it was me asking… but I was never going to complain. When I finally got round to joining properly, I had no idea what was going to happen, wasn't sure if there was even a relationship on offer. But Miraak and I had seen the future, had seen what happened if the Inquisition failed. Mostly we believed it was Miraak's absence causing that. But part of me wanted to believe it was down to me not being there either. Arrogance, maybe. But I realised I couldn't walk away and leave this to sort itself out. So I joined. To help, however I could. I wasn't expecting Miraak to welcome me with open arms and ask me on a dinner date. I definitely wasn't expecting him to take off the mask and reveal the literal face of an angel. Those were… very compelling reasons to stay. But I didn't join because I wanted Miraak. I joined because it was the right thing to do! And once I had a father who would have known that!"
Halward had sat down, listening without a word, head lowered. If Dorian hadn't known better, he could almost think Halward ashamed. And then his father's next words shocked him to the core.
"Once I had a son who trusted me. A trust I betrayed. I ask your forgiveness but I don't expect it. I merely wished to make sure you had not fled from one danger to another. And that the Inquisitor is not taking advantage of you."
Advantage? As if Dorian's biggest fear hadn't been that people might think he was taking advantage of Miraak.
"No," Dorian said softly, perching on the bed, not facing his father, but capable of turning if he needed to. "He's literally spoiling me rotten. I've been more worried about people thinking I'm taking advantage of him."
"What?" Dorian hadn't expected his father to sound that shocked. "As if you'd do that! You're the most stubbornly independent person I know, Dorian. A trait I think you inherited from me. We are more alike than you think, you know."
Something almost like amusement in his voice, and Dorian wanted to tell him off, he truly did… but this was something almost like parental approval and he couldn't quite do it.
"I'm sorry, father, I think I missed the part where you ran away from home, joined a new Andrastian religious movement and fell in love with the Maker's Chosen to try and save the world."
"Perhaps I might have if the Maker's Chosen had come when I was a younger man with no ties," Halward Pavus said, sounding almost wistful, and Dorian looked sharply up at that, having to wonder.
Presumably the Maker's Chosen would also have to have been a beautiful woman because in no way could Dorian bring himself to entertain the idea that his father was attracted to men as well but had been sacrificing himself for the good of the family his entire life. That was too awful to contemplate.
Halward wasn't meeting his eyes either, and the regretful look on his face could mean anything.
"And yet your first thought on hearing I was doing it was to come and find me to try and talk me out of it," Dorian said, still not sure he understood his father at all.
"Can you blame me," Halward sighed. "Dorian, you were always such an angry young man. You had so many good qualities, but inside you there was a part of you hellbent on destroying yourself. I was trying to save you from it. After you left, I… I knew I'd lost you and yet I couldn't bear the thought of you out there suffering. The helplessness was the worst part, that and knowing it was my fault. I would have given anything to talk to you again, tell you I was sorry. And yet I knew you'd never consent to talk to me. That stubborn pride again. When I heard you'd joined the Inquisition… I had to come and find you. I feared you were seeking a way to die a hero. When I heard of the attack on Haven, I feared you gone forever but had to be sure. When I heard you'd not only survived but were the Herald of Andraste's lover… that was when I contacted the Inquisition's Revered Mother. I needed to see you. I could not believe that you weren't being used by Lord Miraak for his own nefarious purposes. That man is not safe, Dorian. That man oozes power, and I cannot trust he'll never misuse it. If he does… you will be first in the path of danger. Dorian, please. Please promise me if he harms you, you won't stay with him. Please promise you will let me help you."
Dorian was about to snap a retort along the lines of he'd likely still be safer with Miraak, but he saw the fear in his father's eyes and his anger died. He also remembered Liriel worrying about something similar and giving him an escape route.
"He's not like that," Dorian said softly. "He's had his own problems, but he is not a bad man at heart. Proud, overbearing, a very strong sense of self-esteem… but he's generous to a fault, one of the most honest people I know, and if he sees you as one of his people, will go to the ends of the earth to make sure you have what you need. I've had to constantly try and talk him out of doing that for me. He genuinely cares, father. And he cares about me very much. Only you have to understand, he comes from a culture where the first duty of a man is to protect his family from harm and ensure they are provided for, and if you cannot manage that, you don't deserve to call yourself Atmoran. His own father drummed that into him from a young age. He still judges himself by it. Anyone who tries to harm a loved one of his, he feels morally obliged to turn on with force. I'm afraid you caught that today. I recommend you don't get on his bad side again. I'm officially his partner now. As in, on the Inquisition's personnel records as that. Any harm comes to me, he's morally obliged to retaliate in kind. I… feel I should object but in all honesty, I don't. I've never truly had someone in my corner before. Someone who adores me, thinks I'm amazing and has my back regardless. But he does. He thinks I'm the most beautiful man on the planet and will defend me to the death, and when he says things like that, you can't help but believe them. I'm not here to destroy myself, father. For once in my life, I'm very keen not to. Because losing me would break his heart and I can't do that to him."
It would probably also result in large areas of Thedas being razed by dragon fire, but Dorian decided not to tell his father that part.
Halward still didn't look convinced, but he wasn't arguing either.
"You will not be talked out of this, will you. I know that look too well. But… you were distressed earlier, I thought I would never see you again, yet here you are. Changing your mind… on some things at least. Seeming to be on a better, or at least less self-destructive past. How is it you've returned less than two hours later looking so much healthier and happier."
"You know how," Dorian said softly. "I spent that time in Miraak's arms. Not doing anything. Just letting him hold me. I must have gone through all the stages of grief in about thirty minutes and Miraak just held me and comforted me and wouldn't leave."
He glanced up at the floating Eye and reached out to stroke it, loving the way it seemed to channel a little of his lover's fierce strength, picking his emotions up all by itself. And then the damned thing followed his fingertips, moving in closer, warm to the touch and even vibrating a little.
Dorian held it in his lap, stroking it and smiling, hoping Miraak could feel this at least a little.
"He's a force of nature all on his own, you see," Dorian said, unable to keep the smile off his face. "Like a second sun. The stories exaggerate but when he's there and smiling at you, it's very easy indeed to believe he's the Herald of Andraste. And if he believes in you and thinks you're worth something, it's hard not to start believing it yourself. He's seen me at my whiny, petulant worst and he still loves me. He just held me and listened and let me wail at him and… even though he disapproves strongly of me coming back out here, he still agreed. That's him, father. That's the man I love. Just having him around helps. I don't think he even realises how much sometimes."
Dorian stroked the orb, smiling as he always did when he thought of his amatus pulling him into his arms. He didn't notice his father seeing all this and realising the inevitable.
"You truly care for him, don't you."
"Of course I do," Dorian sighed. "Would I be at his side near constantly if I didn't?"
"No, I suppose not," Halward said softly. "Ah, my son. This is not what I would have chosen for you… but what do I know. What I do know is you seem more content now than I have seen you in a long time. And that when your emotions got the better of you before, you called to Miraak for support and he gave it without hesitation. I don't think I can like the man but if he is important to you, if he is worthy of your trust and affection… I will not stand in your way. Do as you must, my son. If the Inquisition truly can live up to its claims, I will be honoured to be able to say my son was part of it."
"What, you mean that?" Dorian said, turning to his father in shock, having not expected that at all. And Halward Pavus nodded, something like pride in his eyes.
"Yes, my son, I do. I have regrets. Many, many regrets in my life. But having come here, seen you for myself… I don't fear for you any more. Son, you have to know I feel nothing but remorse for how we treated you. I don't expect forgiveness. But to see you well and happy and loved and doing something important… it's more than I dreamed possible. I hope and pray this works out for you and Miraak is all you claim he is."
Dorian didn't speak. Couldn't, because if he did, he'd probably start crying and that'd probably set the Eye off, and that was all he needed, his father getting Bend Willed and an angry Miraak hauling him home just as they'd finally reached some sort of truce. All he could do was nod, and Halward Pavus actually smiled.
"Now, you said something earlier about Gereon breaking time and space? You have to know the entire Magisterium is talking about it, but no one seems to know anything concrete. Would you be able to tell me about it? I have acquaintances who would love to know more."
Meaning he might be able to salvage his political reputation as a result, particularly if he was able to tell people he'd mended bridges with his son in the process. Still, it might help the Inquisition. Maker alone knew what sort of stories had got back to Minrathous.
So Dorian told the story and Halward Pavus listened, and father and son were, if not exactly reconciled, no longer bitter enemies… and both seeing the other rather better than they had before. And when they eventually parted, and Halward awkwardly gave Dorian one of his business cards and told him to write to him at his Magisterium office, Dorian agreed and impulsively hugged his father goodbye.
It would take a long while before Dorian could trust and forgive his father… but he still had one, and Halward Pavus's approval meant the world.
A/N: I've never been a fan of the game leaving it up to you to decide if Dorian reconciles with his father or not, and I'm even less of a fan of the way some people seem to think that if you pick the reconciliation option, you thereby condone homophobia and conversion therapy (clearly I don't)? Life and families are always rather more complicated than that, and I tried to do that here by a) leaving the choice to Dorian (Miraak would happily have killed Halward, we can thank Alistair that didn't happen) and b) writing in the eventual conversation, don't think I've seen anyone do that before! It's not exactly reconciliation, but it's a start.
The orb deserved a name, and it seemed less egomaniacal coming from Dorian.
Next chapter starts moving away from Dorian's messed up family of origin to Alistair's as he starts his research and finds out he's been seriously misled.