AN: Have been writing on this story all through November. Managed to write 50 000 words

\o/

From now on I'll have time again to look over chapters before publishing them. So you will get updates a little more regularly, I hope. The year has been crazy pretty much everywhere and while I hope it won't get worse in this part of the world, one never knows!

Take care, stay safe, and find a space and time to relax.

oooOOooo

Picnic

The sticking charm to keep Harry's bowl of porridge with cooked and mashed apples from falling down, as well as his smile in answer to Harry's beaming grin, were automatic by now. The three of them had managed to develop a comfortable breakfast routine, even as it regularly ended with a mess. Harry had started to insist on feeding himself, proudly waving his small spoon around. Thankfully the cup Lily had bought – with two handles, a lid with a kind of spout, and a cheerful image of a train all around the side – allowed Harry to drink without assistance, as well as without spills.

Turning to his own breakfast, always keeping an eye on Harry, Tom started to spread some orange marmalade onto his toast. Lily didn't look as if she had slept all that well, something common since what they assumed had been the Order had attacked the bakery in Diagon, but was swiftly sifting through her mail anyway.

Nagini came slithering into the room to curl up in front of the fireplace, slowly getting more active now that the weather was getting warmer. Lily picked up the newspaper just a moment before he reached for it, so he went for his own basket of non-work-related mail first.

He was just reading through a report on one of his investments – he was planning to get enough money together that he would be able to claim the family name once again – when Lily interrupted his train of thought.

"You're making progress with your attempts to shift perceptions." It was more of a statement than a question, and still he felt as if Lily was demanding an explanation of some kind.

"What has the Prophet written now that you're saying that?" Together some of his followers held a major share of the Prophet, but it still didn't make it possible to actually control what the paper was printing. Even with Lucius establishing himself quite successfully as the new Minister.

"They're constantly referring to magicals born to non-magical people as gifts of magic. Not that I'm complaining. But they also have started to print interesting stories in the back pages." She seemed amused as well as conflicted. A combination that intrigued Tom.

"I've been pushing for a change in language since that very stubborn and intelligent woman in that pub reminded me that excluding a group as a minority never ends up well." And he had kept reminding his followers, sometimes quite forcefully, that there was a reason their families had problems with more and more squibs being born. IF they had children at all, that is. "But what other stories are you talking about?" Honestly he didn't tend to read the back pages much, besides the part with gossip and the classified ads in search of interesting books and artefacts.

"Advice pieces on how to decorate for a party blessing a mother-to-be. Or recipes on how to create a special cake or other dish that makes for a nice meal on certain dates around the year." Tom blinked. The Prophet was doing what? "It's subtle, if one doesn't know much about how Magic was worshipped in Britain a few generations back. And it doesn't push the worshipping part at all. I guess I wouldn't have noticed if not for talks with Severus and your ramblings now and again."

"I don't ramble," Tom objected, still baffled by Lily's revelation.

"You do. Want to read this recipe perfect for a spring wedding? Did you have someone writing those?"

Tom shook his head, trying to think of who might have come up with that, or if there was a supporter he didn't know about writing for the housewife section of the Prophet.

"You had no idea?" Lily's eyes narrowed. "You had dismissed this as unimportant, hadn't you?"

Her tone put Tom immediately on edge. He knew that she was passionate about equality, and quite unhappy about the inequality in their society even as it tended to be better than the muggle world in some aspects. Witches had been able to go into politics, work if they wished to, and so on more readily than their muggle counterparts. The acknowledgement of the diversity of gender and sexuality was also an integral part of the magical community. Beside all that, Tom needed to make sure that his lack of awareness didn't come across as intentional. "I don't have much interest in tending to a home, or being host to a lot of family gatherings. So, while I am aware of specific publications and articles being targeted at people sharing those interests, I hadn't considered them as a way to further my goals." But it was a pretty good idea. He should work on broadening his view on the world.

Lily snorted. "Well done, you politician you. I bet you can talk yourself out of almost all tight spots."

"I do have opportunity to exercise and practice that skill regularly. And thanks for bringing this to my attention. I obviously still have a lot to learn about our society, and there might be someone who should be commended for this idea."

Lily hummed, caught the spoon Harry threw just then, and then cast a few floating bubbles to distract the boy while cleaning him up before setting him down to explore the dining room. "Your plans for today are still the same?" Tom asked after pouring himself a second cup of tea. After all, the letters she had received could have altered her plans.

"Yes. I'll be meeting up with Remus later this afternoon." Lily nodded. "And yours? Still planning to spend the evening at Malfoy Manor?"

Tom narrowed his eyes at her smirk. "Yes. I want to play a game of chess with Abraxas."

"It's good that you have a friend to meet. You seemed to lack one… before that debacle from the bakery." And the smirk was gone again, replaced by worried creases above her nose.

"I agree. Having someone to talk to, now that more people know about us, is proving to be beneficial."

"Severus is an excellent listener. Or is he too young?" Her one raised eyebrow communicated quite clearly that she would laugh at him if Tom would cite Severus' age as his reason for being uncomfortable talking to the man about his private concerns.

"No." Tom shook his head, taking a sip from his tea. "He simply sees me as his Lord first and foremost, and therefore is unable to be informal enough to have such a talk with. And he has no children of his own. Both factors that are no problem with Abraxas."

Lily inclined her head a little, conceding the point. Then she moved on, letting that topic fall. Something that she did a lot lately. She had seemed distracted and a little scatterbrained ever since that attack. "I can offer a portkey out to the continent to Remus still, right?"

"Yes." He looked up and met her green eyes. "And you can assure him that there is nothing he has to offer up in exchange. It would be nice to have more information. But getting a supporter away from the Order is enough for me. The fact that it is something you would like to do to help a friend is a nice bonus on top."

She huffed. "You Slytherins." She shook her head at him, and continued with a small, worried smile. "Thank you, Tom. It means a lot to me."

They parted a while later, Lily waiting for Severus to arrive to visit and later watch after Harry, and Tom moving out to headquarters for work.

Tom didn't bother with his glamours any longer and was wondering if letting Voldemort simply slip out of notice would be possible or if he needed to arrange for something a little more dramatic when his followers arrived.

Everyone settled down around the meeting table. Plates with food suitable to be eaten during a meeting and various non-alcoholic drinks appeared, and after everyone had served themselves, Tom opened the meeting.

"How is our objective of identifying the members of the Order of the Phoenix, especially those involved in the attack on Jona's Delicious Baked Goods?" Tom looked over to the oldest Lestrange sitting to his right, raising a brow, prompting the man to start the round of reports.

"The Aurors Sirius Black, Frank Longbottom, and Alice Longbottom, who's back from maternity leave, are obviously members of that Order. We don't have enough proof that would stand up in any sort of legitimate court. But from their attitude and behaviour, it's clear enough." And their spies', deceased and still alive, information on those people as well was helping. "I'm not sure if they all were involved in that attack. There seems to be quite a bit of tension between Alice Longbottom and Black lately."

Nodding and agreeing murmurs went around the room. Seemed as if stories about the tensions between them had made the rounds in the Ministry. Not very surprising, considering the efficiency of the Ministry grapevine.

"I'm not so sure about Arthur Weasley any longer. He was moved into an assistant's role in the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts office. I heard his wife is happy that he will be less likely to be involved in fights, or approached for information." One of the Aurors added from the other end of the table. "He expressed confusion over the attack, it seems he likes their nut breads."

Everyone added little titbits to the growing list of possible supporters, people wavering away from the Order, and those that had clearly expressed their disapproval or even outright condemnation of the Order. This stunt seemed to have cost the Order quite a number of supporters and no little sympathy.

"See if you can suspend Black and Longbottom on some technicalities, get them written up. I'm sure they're not likely to take great care with protocols," Tom suggested. If they were written up for enough petty things, it would be easy to get them out of the Ministry.

"Those Blood-traitors and Mudblood-lovers aren't intelligent enough to even know what it is that will be happening," Bellatrix crooned, an expression of glee on her face.

Tom was sure his expression did show just how unimpressed he was by her choice of words, as all people around the table fell silent and became motionless in an attempt not to draw his attention.

"Bella," Tom said slow and clear. "You know how I feel about those words." He drew his wand, caressing it before pointing it very deliberately at Bella, tilting his head to the side just as he would in his other form. Contemplating if she was something that he could eat.

Before he could decide on a curse to use to express his displeasure, Rodolphus had stood, dragged his wife out of her chair and onto the floor, standing between her and Tom, bowing his head.

Tom blinked.

"My Lord! I beg you! Please! Whatever punishment my wife has earned, please allow me to bear it in her stead."

That was unexpected. But it didn't take Tom long to understand the reason for that unusual willingness to take on a punishment meant for someone else. Even if that someone was the wizard's spouse.

"How are your attempts to reconnect with your sister going, Bella?" Tom asked, back to caressing his wand, eyes fixed on the still bowing Rodolphus.

"Very well, my Lord," came Bellatrix's answer from under the table. "She was more than willing to participate in a blessing for me, when Narcissa and I asked her. We had tea at her home a week ago. I met her husband and my niece."

If he had been anywhere else Tom might have felt compelled to laugh at the image they surely were presenting currently. Instead he took a slow breath and made some low noises, as if contemplating if what he had heard was enough to avert the impending punishment.

Without warning he send a minor curse at Rodolphus that would leave him with a quite nasty rash in some delicate places for a few weeks. The wizard let out a pained hiss and sank down to the floor. The first pain was rather like a kick to the balls, so Tom wasn't surprised.

"Bella." Everyone understood that the one word was a clear order. If it was even possible, the tension in the room grew while Bella cautiously came back to her feet, more fear in her eyes than he had ever seen, plainly visible.

They had been trying for a very long time. Without success so far. No wonder she would dread anything that might end badly for her pregnancy.

Tom let the tension grow for a careful count of five, before sending a stinging hex at her left shoulder.

"Congratulations, Bellatrix. I wish you all the best. Please remember that this happened after you started the process of mending bridges with your sister." Bellatrix sank down in a wobbly curtsey, murmuring something appropriately remorseful. "Take your husband home," he dismissed the two of them and returned to the meeting and the topic at hand.

Abraxas threw him a look when no one would notice, and Tom rolled his eyes in answer. Sometimes his followers really were stubborn.

oooOOooo

Severus had asked Lily if she had met Regulus when she had been at Malfoy Manor, while she had been preparing to leave. It was a bright spot for her in a day otherwise filled with anxiety to see that her friend still had some interest in things other than Potions and the animagus transformation he had finally admitted to be attempting.

But currently she was walking through Kensington Park, a blanket folded in a basket, a warded area used exclusively by magical folk her destination. Remus had written that he would be there. They wanted to talk and Lily had planned to try once again to talk him into leaving for Norway or something.

When she stepped through the breach in the hedges and the Muggle-repelling wards onto the green expanse of grass, she stopped dead in her path.

Remus wasn't alone.

She was already reaching for her emergency portkey when Remus noticed her and pleadingly extended his hand in her direction. "Lily, please!" He looked so sad and desperately hopeful, that Lily did decide to not leave on the spot.

"You didn't say anything about bringing someone along." Maybe her voice was full of accusation, but she didn't think she could be blamed for that.

"I fear for Neville," Alice said, her hands anxiously fisted in the long robe sleeves, clearly not holding a wand.

"You don't say." Well, maybe her almost exclusively Slytherin company was rubbing off on her. "Do you think I left and am hiding because I was tired of parties?"

"No. I never thought that," Alice tried to reassure her, but Lily knew better. The tears running down her cheeks might be genuine but so had been her censure when Lily had not returned to the Order or bowed to Dumbledore's demands back then.

"So you want to leave for the continent together with Remus?" As that was the only help she was willing and able to provide for Remus, she had to assume that was the reason Alice was here. "And do you want to take Neville with you? What will Frank say about that?"

Alice shook her head, clearly undecided and confused. "I don't know! There needs to be another way. You have managed to hide. Why can't I do the same?"

Lily didn't think that they would get to actually eat the food the elves had packed for her. And that had been the planned cover story so it wouldn't look odd for them to be talking so long.

This was not an inconspicuous situation.

Would she be able to leave if this was a trap? Even if she walked closer so they could set up the picnic they had planned to have? Or should she leave right now?

If it was a trap it was a well crafted one.

But because it was her friend seemingly desperate, asking for help, she couldn't just simply walk away. Sometimes having Gryffindor tendencies and the awareness of the risks was an awkward position to be in.

She started walking again, setting down her basket and getting out the blanket once she was near enough that spreading it out would look natural. "Let's at least try to not look like we are planning something if someone should come in."

So they spread out the food. Tea in a charmed pot, cucumber sandwiches, little cakes, some fresh fruits. Lily stayed on the opposite side of the blanket from Remus and Alice, her eyes wandering around to hopefully recognize an attack early enough to be able to flee.

For a few moments they were all silent, taking some food, pouring tea, but really just avoiding looking at each other or speaking. Lily felt like rolling her eyes. This was going to be a disaster.

"Frank got into a shouting match with his mother the other day. Sirius is constantly around, brooding. And…" Alice cut herself off, running a hand over her face. "I don't understand how you could turn your back on us, Lily."

Lily barely managed to keep her snort in. She had turned her back on them? "Well, I think some turned their back on me first."

"You were seen in Knockturn, Lily! What should we think?"

Remus once again didn't speak up, avoiding conflict, caught between what he wanted, those he felt were his allies, and whatever he thought Lily was to him.

Lily felt her face get hard. "I was looking for books on how to translate old texts, Alice. What's sold in Diagon Alley is too mainstream, translating old languages and dialects is a niche interest. And I do want to research enchantments. To read the older research notes, diaries and so on, I do need that information. Stores having such books can't pay the rent on Diagon, so they are down Knockturn. Big deal, really." She was so done with the condescension of those Order members. And the sarcasm didn't fly over the other's heads.

"Alastor was sure you had searched for Dark Magic, why else would you look for such outdated sources? Lily, please, if you were back on our side we might have a chance to change something without resorting to…" And once again she stopped herself from saying more.

Now Lily snorted. Sure, if the Potter money would once again be the Order's to use as they saw fit, they might be able to change their tactics once more. But she wasn't about to prolong this war. "So Alastor Moody is the only one around with a functioning conscience and moral compass? There is much to be gained from old research that was dismissed back then and would be useful now. Not all of it is dark, or illegal, or banned. But I, the young muggle-born witch, am unable to make the distinction between those categories?" Remus had the decency to get red, and look down at his half eaten sandwich in shame. Alice on the other hand seemed to be shocked.

Lily shook her head. "Do you even see what they are doing, Alice? They wrapped themselves in robes carrying the pure flame of the phoenix, but they hid behind masks. They might have been coloured like fire, not like skulls, but exactly where is there any difference between the people attacking that bakery and the Death Eaters?"

Alice gave a shaky half nod, before shaking her head. "I don't know any longer, Lily. Professor Dumbledore always was so adamant. He did rid us all of Grindlewald, another dark wizard. Surely you can see how he would have been the best to identify another threat for our society, our peace? You threw all his advice to the winds. I… I don't feel like I know you any longer."

Alice was right, they had grown apart quite a bit. But Alice seemed to be content in the role of mother and head of the household. That wasn't a role Lily ever had wanted for herself. Fighting for the Order had seemed to be a good thing once. But there she also had always been the little, young witch. Unimportant, with opinions that rarely mattered.

"I do know the difference between right and wrong," she wouldn't tell them how much more gray she saw between those extremes of late, "but too many in the Order don't seem to be able to accept that I'm an adult capable of independent thought. I can only suggest that you distance yourself from whoever is sliding down the slope towards terrorism, and hope they'll let you leave." Lily turned away from a pale and wide-eyed Alice and concentrated on Remus.

"Have you decided what you want to do, Remus? I can get you a portkey out of Britain. I'm even willing to help you find a job, and a place to live in. We can keep contact via owl-post. You don't need to stay and watch from the sidelines as bullies get to harm people." She saw him flinch and felt a tiny bit of guilt over using his standing by from their school days against him in this way. Now that she was as close to Severus as she ever had been, the inaction of Remus, the Gryffindor prefect in their year who would have had some authority over his friends, grated even more. Sure, Albus had had his hand in that, as had Professor McGonagall, but Remus hadn't even tried once. All he had ever done were some token protests uttered with his unwillingness to do anything more clear from the start.

He seemed to struggle with his words, picking up his tea cup with shaking hands, taking a few sips as if to wet his throat. Lily kept her eyes on him, ignoring Alice, who was trying to get her attention back. When Remus finally spoke, he had his eyes closed, whispering just loudly enough that Lily could hear him. "I would be in your debt if you could get me that portkey."

"That's sorted then," Lily said, standing. She would leave the basket, blanket, and food behind. No reason to risk staying longer to gather the things. "Prepare what you need to so you can leave. I'll let you know where you can pick up the portkey and when as soon as I'm able. Do you have any preferences to where you want to go?"

Remus looked up to her, reminding her of a drenched puppy. "I don't have a preference."

Lily nodded, turned on her heel and left the park and its wards to apparate back home with a few stops in between. No reason to risk someone might follow her there.

oooOOooo

AN: I hope you're able to enjoy the time of family gatherings despite everything that's happening. I'll be back with another chapter soon!

First published 6th of December 2020

Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!