Consensual Sex

Trigger Warning - mentions of sexual abuse

Chapter 8 Show Me

Her hands were shaking as she sat on the couch in Archie's office. The crackling flames in the fireplace were warm in the hearth, but she trembled in her seat. Archie was sitting across from her, taking note of the way Regina anxiously sat before him.

She had called requesting a second appointment and as shocked as he was, he immediately opened his service to her once more. This time he thought he'd try a different approach that won't cause her to shut down and back away like the last time. Discussing and encouraging her to open up about her emotions caused her to close up. The exact opposite of what he wanted. So now he would let her take the lead in discussing her emotions and backing off when he sees her getting too anxious. Kind of like now.

They had been discussing the events that happened since her last session. The dinner with Cora and the way she emotionally dissociated herself. Her standing up to Cora and then emotionally shutting down on Emma along with the mood swings. Archie was surprised she had brought it up, considering how uncomfortable she was talking about how she felt.

"Let's stop for now and try to calm your mind," he said softly, getting up and moving from his chair to sit beside her on the couch. He kept a good distance, respecting her space. He just didn't want her to feel like he was only helping her because she was a job or that he resented her because of the way she had treated him in the past. He wanted her to feel like he cared and she can trust him. "You mentioned there was a technique Emma used to help you feel grounded?"

Her breaths were shaky and her hands shook. Her brown eyes were panicked. He knew this session wasn't going to be easy. She had opened up alot today and now she was having an anxiety attack.

"She'll ask me three questons," she said, unable to look at him. She shared so much. More than she realized and now she started second guessing herself. Her chest felt heavy as she tried to control her ragged breaths. She barely even realized Archie sitting beside her but at a distance. Like he was trying to offer comfort without overstepping boundaries.

"And what are those questions?" he asked softly, realizing Emma had come up with a grounding technique like he had recommended over the phone.

"Where am I? Who is she? And how does she make me feel?"

"OK, that's a perfect grounding technique," he approved. "How about using it now to help with the anxiety?"

"Ok," Regina whispered. "I'm in your office."

"Good," Archie encouraged.

"You're Archie…"

"Thats right."

"You make me feel… safe." She had trouble admitting it, but she did feel safe around the therapist. No matter how nasty she had been to him, he always had her best interest at heart.

"Deep breaths," he said softly, and when she was finally able to control her trembling hands and shaky breaths she finally looked at him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her brown eyes looking so vulnerable for the first time in front of him. No longer was she the fiery woman that gave him so much grief in the past while working with Henry. Now her walls were down and he could see the pain and fear in her eyes. He tilted his head at the words she had whispered.

"Why are you apologizing?"

"I lost control," she said as if she were ashamed. "I felt like I was oversharing and I shouldn't have. I just panicked."

"Regina, opening up and letting go is nothing to apologize about. I know Cora made you shut everything you felt away. I know Leopold made you suppress your anger towards him. They did that to control you and now you're free of them. You're allowed to express yourself. I know it's hard and it's scary, but we'll get through it slowly. I won't push you like our last session. I want you to take the lead and open up when you're comfortable."

"I shared a lot today."

"You did and I'm proud of you," he acknowledged. He really was impressed. It had all just tumbled from her lips without him really having to intervene. It was the moment she had realized how much she had shared was what made her panic. She wasn't used to sharing and opening up and he hoped from now on she'll continue this progress.

"Now, let's discuss some grounding techniques," he continued. "Emma's way is actually perfect for when you feel anxious or frightened and need to be grounded. There are also other techniques such as focusing on breathing, counting, listing your surroundings, anything to really redirect your mind. Also, there's techniques to ground you even when you're not feeling anxious or frightened, for instance a hobby."

"Hobby?" she questioned as if it were the most bizarre thing that came out of his mouth. She's never had one. Cora and Leopold had such a tight grip on her she was never allowed to even consider having one.

"Something you like to pass the time with."

"I know what it means, I just don't have one."

"Was there anything you enjoyed doing as a child?"

"I umm…" She took a second as she thought back to her childhood. She used to love riding horses at the stables with her father. In fact that was where she first met Daniel. They had taken riding lessons together since they were seven. Cora put a stop to those lessons when she had become 16 claiming she was too old for them. She hasn't been on a horse or in a stable since Daniel died.

No, she will not step foot into the stables. It was too painful.

"Regina?"

Regina shook her head and looked up at the therapist. She had spaced out for a moment, getting lost in painful memories. He looked at her in concern and she averted her gaze.

"I said I don't have one." Her voice was clipped and closed off. Her gaze was focused straight ahead, not at all making eye contact. She closed herself off, unable to admit that her favorite childhood past time had become a distant memory.

"Ok," Archie nodded, not wanting to push her. He knew the subject triggered some kind of painful memory. "How about doing something with Henry as an alternative."

Regina nodded, taking a deep breath as she pushed the memories away.

"I think I can do that," she agreed.

After her session, Regina decided to go meet Emma at the station. Her brain felt like mush and her heart felt heavy in her chest after that emotionally exhausting session. She needed some comfort and then maybe they could go get some coffee together. Well, she at least needed the caffeine. Emma as usual will probably settle for hot chocolate. She got into the Benz and drove to the station. She parked right next to the yellow bug. She felt just a little bit better at the thought of seeing her girlfriend. Those sparkling green eyes and mischievous smile that was so much like their son's was enough to lift the weight from her chest.

She entered the station to see Emma sitting at her desk.

"Hey, love," Emma smiled at her, getting up and greeting her with a sweet kiss on the lips. She tensed up for a moment but then relaxed when Emma pulled her into her arms as if she had sensed exactly what she needed. "What's wrong?"

"The session with Archie just made me anxious," she whispered, burying her face into her shoulder and soaking up the comfort in being in her lover's arms. Emma pressed a kiss through her hair before pulling away and looking into anxious brown eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"He didn't push me this time into expressing my emotions. I actually just let everything spill and when I had realized how much I shared I panicked. I'm just not used to opening up so much. He reminded me that it was ok to let myself feel, just like you have been doing."

Emma looked at her in awe. This was definitely a big step. She had opened up to Archie. Of course she understood why she felt anxious afterwards. She wasn't used to healthily expressing herself without suffering repercussions from both her mother and ex husband. As Emma looked back on the time she arrived at Storybrooke, she mentally kicked herself for not noticing it faster. The way Regina had held on to Henry too tight and lashed out at her was a huge red flag. At the time she just thought Regina was insane. The way she used fear to intimidate the citizens of Storybrooke was also a huge flag. She had come a long way since those days.

"You realize how much of a big step that is?"

"It is?" she asked, looking unsure of herself.

"When we met you expressed yourself in anger or just completely shut down and hid behind an emotionless mask. Now look at you, talking and opening up."

"Then why do I feel so anxious like it's wrong?" she asked.

"Because Cora and that douche bag made you think it was," Emma told her seriously, trying to keep the anger from lacing her words.

"My mother reprimanded me alot, made me feel like a disappointment and Leopold…" she shook her head in disgust at the memory. "He'd beat me until I submitted."

Emma swallowed heavily at that and then softly pressed a kiss on her girlfriend's lips. It was never easy hearing about the abuse.

"They were wrong," she whispered.

The sound of footsteps followed by David coming in made Regina retreat. She looked at him fearfully and Emma didn't miss the way she had discreetly stepped back so that she was behind her. She frowned at that before greeting her deputy.

"Hey, David. How was patrol?" she asked.

"Besides from the hydrant popping open on Arendale Ave, not much," he said and she realized he was actually soaked. "Hi Regina," he smiled politely.

"Your clothes are wet," she stated the obvious. Emma noticed she wouldn't make eye contact and was nervously wringing her hands.

"Yeah," he sighed. "Emma, do you mind if I take off early? I want to go home and change before meeting Mary Margaret for our date."

"No not at all. I'll wait till Mulan gets here for the night shift. Have fun," the sheriff smiled. David nodded his thanks.

"Have a great night you two," he said, gathering his stuff and then heading out for the day.

"Are you ok?" Emma asked, turning to Regina the moment he was gone.

"Yes dear, why do you ask?"

"Does he make you nervous?" she asked. Regina seemed to be afraid of David. She saw it every time they happened to be in close proximity.

Regina visibly deflated. Of course Emma could see it. She was always uncomfortable when she was alone with a man. She always got the worst of Leopold's temper when she found herself alone with him. It had instilled a certain fear in her even though he was in prison.

"He was always at his worst when we were alone," she whispered. "I have a hard time being around any man, especially alone."

"You've been alone with Archie," Emma said in confusion.

"It's different with him. I used to bully him when he was treating Henry. He should be afraid of me. And he makes me feel safe in a way."

"Hey, it's completely understandable," Emma assured her, not wanting her to be embarrassed or anything. They went back over to her desk.

"I feel it's an irrational fear," she admitted as Emma took a seat, pulling Regina into her lap.

"It's not irrational," Emma told her seriously. "It's real and not just something to brush off."

Regina shrugged and Emma pulled her in for a kiss. Regina leaned into it, letting the comfort wash over her. She didn't want to think about Leopold and the emotional repercussions she was now suffering. She didn't want to talk about her feelings or fears anymore. She just wanted to be with Emma. She wanted to be normal and happy with the woman she loved. At least for a moment. Their kisses became deeper and passionate and soon Regina found herself wanting more under Emma's soft caresses and touches.

She pulled away and Emma started kissing her neck. She moaned at the feeling of warm lips against her skin. It's been a while since they last did it.

It wasn't until they heard footsteps down the hall, then they quickly pulled away. Regina jumped off Emma's lap just as the night sheriff walked in.

"Hi, Mulan," Emma greeted her, trying to keep her breathing regulated. The other woman smirked as she dumped her stuff down on the other desk. Obviously she knew she interrupted something.

"Good afternoon," she greeted. "Anything I should know about before you take off?"

"What?" Emma asked, her mind instantly going to the little make out session she had with Regina just moments ago.

"She's talking about the day shift," Regina grumbled, shoving her lightly.

"Oh, just that a hydrant burst open on Arendale Ave. David took care of it."

"Great," Mulan plopped down in her seat.

"Awesome, so we'll just be going," Emma fumbled awkwardly, her cheeks red as she gathered her things. She didn't know why she felt so embarrassed at almost being caught making out. She shot Regina a playful glare. She looked far too amused.

They rushed out to the Benz. Emma would come back for the bug later.

"Stop," she grumbled as she buckled up in the passenger seat.

"What am I doing?" Regina questioned, as if she had no idea what Emma was talking about.

"Stop laughing."

"I'm not!"

"You want to."

Regina couldn't keep the grin off her face.

"You really thought she was asking about our little make out session?" she laughed.

"Maybe."

The moment they made it home, they wasted no time in getting upstairs in a flurry of kisses and touches. With everything that has been going on, they haven't been able to do anything more than soft touches and heated make out sessions. Now that they were alone and with Henry at the arcade with the Zimmerman twins, they could no longer ignore the yearning of being in each other's arms and giving each other the pleasure of release.

Emma was so gentle and so attentive, Regina almost cried. She had never experienced something so loving and tender when having sex with Emma. She made her feel loved and so beautiful versus the cruel hands of her ex husband. Regina moaned as Emma moved her kiss from her lips to her neck as she started unbuttoning her blouse. Warm lips trailed down her chest. Her shirt was pushed off her shoulders and before the blonde took it a step further, she stopped and looked into lust filled eyes. She gently lifted Regina's chin with her finger.

"Do you want this?" she asked, just like every other time they've done it. Emma always made sure to get Regina's consent.

"Yes, my love," she whispered and leaned in to take those pink lips into hers. Emma deepened the kiss as she reached around to unclasp her black lace bra.

Regina gasped when Emma ended their kiss and started pressing kisses down her neck and chest until she took a hard nipple into her mouth. Her hands buried themselves into blonde locks, gently massaging her scalp and holding her against her breasts as Emma sucked and lapped at each one.

"That feels so good," she practically purred, her hands moving from blonde locks and fumbling to remove her red leather jacket. They pulled away for a moment so that Regina could pull Emma's shirt over her head. She cupped warm breasts in her palms through red lace.

"Take it off," Emma encouraged her, pulling her close by the hips so they were flushed against each other.

Emma continued her assault on Regina's neck as she undid the clasped and cupped warm breasts into her palm. Emma moaned at the feeling of being touched by her lover. She needed more. She wanted to give more.

She started walking Regina backwards to the bed where they gently fell upon it with Emma on top. She looked into warm brown eyes full of lust.

"Can I try something?" she asked, curiously and Regina's lustful expression became hesitant. "You can say no if you're uncomfortable."

Regina sat up, her hands suddenly trembling as she pulled her knees up to her chest. Emma suddenly felt like she was about to have heart palpitations at the way Regina had suddenly backed off and curled into herself. Sex was always delicate between them. There was a lot that Regina was afraid to try. Penetration being one of them.

"Do you want to go inside?" She sounded so scared and Emma was quick to assure her. She knelt on her knees before her.

"No, not if you're not ready," she said softly. "I was wondering if you let me… go down on you?" she asked. "I won't go inside, I promise." Emma thought she was going to back down, but to her surprise, Regina's posture relaxed. The fear and hesitance in her eyes faded. She looked at her curiously now. She was definitely intrigued and Emma was reminded that she had probably never experienced oral sex with a woman. She shuddered at the thought of what she might have been forced to do with Leopold. She didn't want to think about that.

"OK," she nodded.

"Are you sure?" Emma asked. "I don't want you to just say yes to appease me. You have to want it too."

"I'm sure," Regina whispered.

Emma hesitated, not sure if she should go through with it after all. Maybe, she wasn't ready to take things further, but then Regina was pulling her down as she settled back into the pillows. She captured her lips with hers and wrapped her legs around her, grinding her center against her own. Emma moaned at the warmth.

"I trust you, Emma," Regina whispered, their lips so close they could feel each other's breaths.

Emma nodded and then sat back to remove her slacks. Emma pulled off her jeans as well. She sat between Regina's legs, soaking in the image of her in black lace underwear. Her hair splayed out against the pillow and her eyes full of so much love and desire. Regina removed her panties and parted her legs, inviting her in and Emma nearly lost it.

"Tell me if you feel uncomfortable and I'll stop right away."

"Of course my love, now please get on with it." She was getting impatient and Emma couldn't help the mischievous glint of her eyes as she pulled her into a heated kiss. She took her time, not wanting to rush things. She moved from her lips to her neck and then started focusing on lavashing her breasts. She slipped a knee between her legs and moaned at the wetness she felt there, her mouth watering at the thought of tasting her. Regina started grinding against her, her skin becoming hot and flushed.

"Emma…" she moaned, needing more. She was nervous but also turned on at the notion of Emma's mouth on her. She needed it, unable to wait much longer. She lifted her girlfriends head from where she was latched onto a nipple and palming at the other. "I'm ready," she whispered in case Emma felt like taking her time for her sake.

Emma looked into those brown eyes that looked at her with so much love and want. She lowered her hand and cupped her center, making Regina buck into her hand. She nearly came herself right then and there when she felt how wet the brunette already was. She stroked her until Regina was practically purring.

She kissed her lips, showing her how much she loved her without words before finally descending. She can smell her arousal and her mouth watered. She licked the length of her slit, making Regina hiss in surprise. She tasted exquisite. She lapped at her, probing her clit and working her into a frenzy. She barely even realized the hand on her head, fingers tangling into her hair. She licked at her entrance, but didn't dare probe or enter it.

Regina never felt anything like this. The feeling of Emma's tongue was sensational. Even when she licked over her entrance, she wondered how it'd feel if she were to actually enter her. She almost gave in, but then the memory of Leopold constantly forcing himself inside her flashed in her mind along with ghost pains of him stretching her. She decided this was ok for now. She never knew oral sex could be so pleasurable. Her husband never pleasured her. It was never about making her feel good or loved. It was about his pleasure and showing her who was in power. Memories of him forcing her on her knees, a hand gripping tightly and painfully at her hair as he forced her to take him into her mouth suddenly flashed into her mind and Regina quickly pulled away and sat up.

Startled, Emma sat up on her knees, wiping her chin and looking at her in concern. Unsure if she had done something wrong.

"Regina?"

"I just need a minute darling," she assured her. She wanted this. She wanted Emma to pleasure her. She trusted her. She loved her. She tried reminding herself all these things as she took deep breaths. Emma was suddenly lying next to her and pulling her into her arms, holding her close.

"You're ok. You're safe and you're with me," Emma whispered, pressing kisses through her hair. "We don't have to continue."

"No, I want to," Regina assured her. "It was wonderful, but it just brought up something bad. Can we try again?"

Emma kissed her and Regina moaned as she tasted herself. The images of Leopold forcing her on her knees faded from her mind's eye as Emma started trailing kisses down her body until she was back at her core.

She delved in and Regina bucked into her mouth, the desire of reaching her peak hitting her at full force once more. Emma's tongue swirled around her clit, sucking and nibbling until she couldn't take anymore.

"That's it baby," Emma murmured before finally ending the torture and pushing her towards her climax. She came hard and Emma helped her ride it out, lapping at her until she had enough.

Emma slid towards her, pulling her into her arms and holding her as she recovered from her high. She kissed her, letting her taste herself once more. Regina's hand sunk down to feel how aroused Emma became.

"Mmm, I love you darling," she whispered when they pulled away, her hand sliding into her panties and stroking her. Emma's breathing became shallow.

"Show me," the sheriff teased, eyes gleaming as she nibbled her bottom lip.

Regina slid off the other woman's panties, revealing glistening folds. She suddenly had the urge to taste her. She licked her lips. Emma seemed to know what she was thinking because she gently lifted Regina's chin.

"Are you sure?" she asked for the second time. "I want you to do this because you want to."

"I'm sure," she said seriously, kissing Emma and then descending to her breasts, her hand stroking her center as she took a nipple into her mouth.

"Yes, love that's it," Emma moaned, bucking into Regina's hand. She gently cupped her head, holding her to her breast gently enough so she didn't feel trapped in anyway.

When she had spent enough time on her breasts, Regina finally slid lower down until she was kneeling between the blonde's legs, smelling her arousal and taking a curious lick. She moaned at the taste, never experiancing something so erotic. So pleasurable and intimate. She hungrily went for it so fast Emma nearly screamed.

"Regina, you're gonna make me cum too fast if you keep at my clit like that," she gasped, trying desperately to hold on just a little bit longer and then the next thing she knew a tongue was probing at her entrance. Her hands tangled into dark locks, holding her gently as she felt her enter her.

"Oh my god!"

That seemed to spur her on because Regina started thrusting into her. Emma cried out, feeling herself about to fall over the precipice of a mind blowing orgasm. For being with a woman for the first time, she was damn good.

A tongue was suddenly replaced with two fingers and that talented tongue was now sucking and nibbling on her clit. Emma's eyes practically rolled back into her head. This woman was a goddess.

"Oh god I'm gonna cum!" she cried, her muscles tightening. Regina quickened the pace, her tongue swirling her clit before sucking hard.

That did it.

Emma screamed, letting go and letting the orgasm hit her at full force. Regina helped her ride it out until she collapsed back against the pillows, her body feeling like jelly. Regina smugly climbed over and laid on top of her, being careful not to squish her. She kissed her lips and then pulled away with that smug smile still on her lips.

"You're amazing," Emma whispered, wrapping her arms around her and holding her against her body. She loved the feeling of the smaller woman on top of her. They fit so perfectly.

Suddenly a dark look came over the woman on top of her and the smug smile was replaced by her nervously biting her bottom lip. She looked away and Emma frowned at the sudden change.

"Hey, look at me," she coaxed her to meet her eyes. "Are you ok?"

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "About me getting nervous when you were in the middle of…"

"No, Regina…" Emma was quick to assure her. "That is something you should never apologize for. I would never pressure you into doing something you're not ready for."

Regina nodded hesitantly and Emma reached out, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear and then caressing her cheek.

"Do you want to talk about when you got nervous? You don't have to, but if it's bothering you you're allowed to open up."

She felt the brunette go rigid and her eyes flickered with panic as if she was remembering something bad. Emma suddenly had a sinking feeling it had to do with Leopold probably forcing sexual acts on her.

"It just brought back bad memories," she muttered, her eyes down casting.

"Ok," Emma nodded, not wanting to push her into saying anymore. Besides, she's pretty sure she has an idea of what those bad memories are. Once again she shuddered in revulsion. All that mattered was that the woman on top of her felt safe and loved. "I hope you can replace those with good memories now."

Those brown eyes looked at her once more and she leaned in, kissing her so tenderly. Emma rubbed a hand up and down her back, their legs tangling together as if to bring her closer against her.

"I definitely can," Regina whispered against her lips.