Chapter 9
When Arthur woke up a few mornings later and picked his phone up to read the news, his heart sank. The past few days had been difficult. Albion was closed and there were rumours flying everywhere as to why. Merlin had stayed in bed the whole time, not wanting to risk hurting his shoulder and recovering from the procedure he'd had done to fix it. They'd heard that Annie, although still in intensive care, was no longer in critical condition and written a get well soon card for her.
Gwaine had been amazing with sorting Killi out. He was due to go and pick him up later that day from the vets and bring him back to the apartment building for Arthur and Merlin. Merlin was desperate to see him.
The police had continued to take people into custody and make arrests but they were all fearful. Being careful not to jostle Merlin or his shoulder, Arthur got out of bed and went into the kitchen where he could hear Iseldir pottering about. The poor man had been sleeping on the sofa because Arthur and Merlin were in the only bedroom. He said it was part of the job and he didn't mind but it couldn't have been comfortable.
"Have you seen this?" Arthur held up his phone.
Iseldir nodded without even looking, "I've been on the phone with the Sarrum."
"And?"
"He says there's no reason to believe it has anything to do with us or Merlin but he's looking into it."
"Merlin will hate it when he finds out."
"Probably. Is he up?"
"Not yet. Where's Aithusa?"
"Walk."
To avoid Arthur and Merlin being left alone at any point, it was up to one of the guards outside to walk Aithusa rather than Arthur or Iseldir.
"How long have they been out?"
"Twenty minutes? They'll be back soon."
"Gwaine will be here within the hour."
"Is it cleared with security downstairs and stuff?"
"I think so."
"I couldn't use the shower, could I?" Iseldir said, "Do you need to go through the bathroom still?"
"Yeah but you go first," Arthur said, "I'll wait for Merlin."
"Sure?"
"Go for it."
"Great. I'll be fast."
"Take your time," Arthur smiled. He made himself a coffee and went back into the bedroom. He sat and read the news story on his phone again while he waited for Merlin to wake up, wondering what the best way to tell him would be.
"Arthur?" Merlin called, "Why do you look like something awful has happened?"
"A news story," Arthur said, "An amputee has been beaten outside a supermarket on his way out."
Merlin's face blanched, "Let me see."
"Merls-"
"It was them, wasn't it? They know the hotels are closed so they're picking on members of the public."
"There's no way to know."
"Rubbish. Let me read it."
"Here," Arthur handed his phone across.
Merlin read it, getting paler with every word. "Beaten to death," he said tearfully, "Gone before paramedics arrived. Arthur-"
"Do not blame yourself for this," Arthur said, "It is not your fault."
"They're doing this on purpose. I won't let people get hurt."
"There's nothing you could have done."
"I could have done what they asked. Too many people have suffered because of me already. I'm not letting anyone else get hurt."
"No, you can't."
"Why? Because a have friends? A family? So did the man who died yesterday! What makes me more important?"
"Merlin, please."
"No. I won't sit here and let them kill more people when I can put an end to it."
"They'll kill you," Arthur's voice broke and a tear rolled down his cheek, "I-"
"It'll be ok," Merlin assured him.
"Maybe it won't happen again," Arthur said hopefully, trying to regain his composure.
"It's not a risk I can take," Merlin said, "I love you, you know I do. I don't want to leave you but innocent people are getting hurt. I can't let that happen."
"You promised we'd always be together."
"We will," Merlin kissed him and wiped a few of his tears away, "You know it's the right thing to do."
"Belle's right," Arthur said, "You are a hero."
"You're my favourite person in the world. Never forget that."
They cried together for a bit until there was a knock at the door and Arthur got up to answer it. A few seconds later, Gwaine's voice filled the flat and Merlin found himself tearing up again.
"Delivery!" Gwaine announced as he came into the room, somehow managing to carry Killi with him.
Merlin grinned and cuddled his dog as he was placed in his lap. Killi wagged his tail and reached up to lick Merlin's face.
"Why do you two look so sombre?" Gwaine asked, "I thought you'd be happy to see Killi again."
"Gwaine," Merlin said, "Remember you promised me never to go back to drinking?"
"Yeah?" Gwaine said uncertainly, "Why?"
"Nothing, just- just remember that. You have Eira and Percy now. The drink isn't important."
"What's going on?"
Merlin shook his head and smiled, "Nothing. Just checking."
"What are you going to do? This is about that threat, isn't it? Merlin, you can't-"
"It's fine, Gwaine. Everything will be fine."
Gwaine looked at him suspiciously before turning to Arthur, "You're looking after him, right?"
Arthur nodded, "Always."
"Good. Make sure he's taking fewer drugs, he's gone mad."
"Yeah."
"What is wrong with you two? Have you had a fight?"
"No, we're fine. Thanks for looking after Killi for us, I'll transfer you the money for the vet bills."
"No hurry, just whenever. See you soon, hopefully."
"Bye, Gwaine," Merlin said sadly.
"You're actually going to do this?" Arthur asked Merlin once Gwaine had left.
"I have no choice."
"Not today?" Arthur heart was breaking.
All of a sudden, Merlin burst into tears and began sobbing. It was the most horrible sound Arthur had ever heard.
When Iseldir came out of the bathroom a few minutes later and found the couple crying in each other's arms- being mindful of the injured dog and Merlin's bad shoulder, of course- he tensed, "Arthur?"
Arthur gulped and looked up, "Merlin's made a decision," he choked.
"I want to go to the Druids," Merlin said with as much strength as he could muster, "Before anyone else gets hurt."
They organised everything with the police. They came up with an idea that would hopefully give Merlin some protection. But, just in case, he spent the rest of the day writing out ten letters. Each one became more and more difficult to write so he started with the easiest.
'Elyan,
You are a very dear friend to me and your support was never un-noticed. Thank you for all you've helped me through and for being a part of the family I love so much. I hope you find happiness with Mary and have peace and joy in your life.
Love, Merlin.'
'Leon,
You truly are one of the best men I know. I'm sorry I won't be there to be an uncle to your children but I know you're more than capable of looking after everyone. Just make sure you look after yourself too. If Belle and Luke grow up to be anything like their father, the world will be an amazing place. Thank you for everything.
Merlin.'
'Percival,
I hope the suffering from your past doesn't haunt you forever. You're a great man, husband and father. I hate to ask but please look after Gwaine. I know he can be troubled but don't let the troubles beat either of you. You're stronger than that. I'll miss you a lot, thank you.
Merlin.'
'Lance,
I don't know what to say. You've always been the older brother I never had. I've known you so long that I can't remember a time you weren't important to me. You've fixed so many of my problems, helped me through so many things, made sacrifices for my sake. I want you to be happy and content now. I'm sorry to leave my godson but he has the most amazing parents in the world looking after him so he doesn't need anyone else. I can't say anything I haven't said to you before. You're loyal, selfless, caring, brave. I won't forget that. Please be happy even if that means sitting in the office staring at numbers for the rest of time.
Love, Merlin.'
'Gwen,
I don't want you to be sad, Guinevere. You're surrounded by people to love you, you don't need me. You're the reason I had the life I have now and I couldn't be more grateful to you. You've never shown me anything but kindness. Never lose the kindness in your heart. Not ever. I feel like I should have more to say to you but there's nothing else I can think of. I love you, Gwen, thank you for being such a brilliant friend.
Merlin.'
'Morgana,
Thank you. You've done a lot for me, been there through really difficult times. Please make sure Arthur's happy. I don't want any of you to suffer because of this. It's the right thing to do, no matter how much I wish it wasn't. Your care for me was so touching and I couldn't be more grateful for it.
Love, squid.'
'Gwaine,
I meant what I said. Alcohol won't do anything. You know how angry I'll be if you go back to it after everything we went through together. You're an amazing friend, don't think you're not. There's nothing you could have done- I know you're selfish enough to blame yourself. We've seen each other at some very low points in life and also at the highest of highs. Remember those highs.
Love, Merlin.'
'Gaius,
You are nothing but a father to me. Please don't think you had anything to do with what's arisen recently. My family is eternally grateful to you for your help. I'll be carrying your rabbit's foot with me, I hope you don't mind. I hope you live a happy, comfortable life. I'm sure Arthur will have you over for dinner all the time. You can keep each other company.
I truly do love you, Gaius, and I'll never forget the love you showed me.
Merlin.'
'Freya,
I'm sorry to leave you an only sibling. I'm sorry I couldn't have come home one last time to see the waterfall or to say goodbye properly. You're my favourite sister in the world though, if that helps. Briar and Rose are lucky to have a mum like you and I'm glad I've met them. Make sure they grow up knowing how awesome I was. I did this so you and mum would be safe. I couldn't bare for either of you to be hurt. I don't want to have regrets, but I'll always wish I could have seen you once more. Look after mum.
Love you, sis, Merlin.'
'Mum,
You know those books you used to read to me. 'I love you this much'. Yeah. Well I love you more than any book could ever write. I'm sorry I had to do this but I can't have people hurt when I could put a stop to it. Will didn't get to tell you how important you were before he died. I'm glad I can. There have been many times I've come close to dying. This is scarier. But I don't want you to be scared. I'll be fine with Will and dad. All the boys back together. You have to be happy mum, you deserve that. I know I've made it really difficult for you but, well, after this, it won't happen again.
I love you, mum. Thank you.
Merlin.'
Once he'd written them, he put the letter, along with the best photo he had of himself with the person the letter was for, in an envelope and wrote their names on it.
"Just in case," he said to Arthur as he handed them over, "You don't give these to anyone unless…"
"I know," Arthur flicked through them, "Don't I get one?"
"I wouldn't know what to say. You know it all already."
"It's going to be alright," Arthur said, "I won't have to give these out. The police know what they're doing, they'll-"
Merlin cut him off with a kiss, "You mean everything to me. If this doesn't work as we hope it will, don't be scared. It'll be alright."
"Not without you."
"It will."
"The only times in my life you haven't been here have been awful. I was a bad man, Merlin, you made me better."
"Not temporarily," Merlin promised, "You're a different person now, the old you is gone. Please enjoy the rest of your life. Please, Arthur."
"I wanted to live the rest of my life with you."
"You might still get to. But if you can't, don't wallow. Move on."
"It hurts already."
"I know."
Arthur kissed him passionately, "When do you have to go?" Arthur asked him.
Merlin checked his watch, "About an hour. We're leaving when it's dark so there'll be less people around in case things get out of hand."
"Fancy doing something that would make our last night together memorable?"
Merlin grinned, "I've been waiting for you to ask me that all day."
Forty five minutes later, they were lying in bed beside each other, naked bodies pressed as closely to the other's as possibly so they would remember the feel of each other. They'd been in that position for about ten minutes and both the dogs were sitting at their feet. And it was then, after being strong and composed all day, something inside Merlin broke, "Arthur-"
"I know."
They cried and kissed for as long as they dared before going through the shower together and getting dressed.
"Ready to go?" Iseldir asked solemnly.
Merlin bent down to hug Aithusa. Killi, being unable to walk well from his broken leg, was still in the bedroom but Merlin had already said goodbye to him. Then he looked at Arthur and felt tears welling up again.
"Stay safe," Arthur said, "Please come back."
Merlin nodded, "I'll always come back for you." There was nothing else to say. They knew everything the other did. Any thought they had was shared. There was no need to request anything or declare love one last time. They already knew.
"You don't have to do this," Iseldir reminded him.
"I couldn't live with the guilt if I didn't," Merlin said, "I'm trusting your colleagues," he smiled.
"They won't let you down."
Merlin hugged and kissed Arthur, pretending it wouldn't be the last time. "I'll see you soon," Merlin said, "Stay away."
Arthur nodded, "I love you."
"I love you too." He was happy that that could be the last thing he ever said to his husband.
He followed Iseldir out of the flat, trying to keep a blank mind and not overwhelm himself with sad thoughts. They got into Iseldir's car and headed off to the centre of the town. They knew there would be unmarked police vehicles all along the route which would all follow them out until they found the Druids.
When they reached the area of the city which was run down and decrepit and widely considered dangerous, Merlin got out the car and took a few deep breaths.
"Stick to the plan," Iseldir said, "You've got plenty of backup remember."
Merlin nodded.
"You're a brave man," Iseldir said, "Good luck."
Merlin made his way through the streets, aware of the cars around him which were following his movements subtly.
"Well, well, well."
Merlin almost laughed at just how cliché it all was. Run down area of town, avoided by everyone religiously and controlled by a dangerous gang who then come out with the line 'well, well, well'.
He raised his hands, "Before you hurt me or do anything to me, I want to talk to you."
"Yeah?"
Merlin turned to see well over two dozen people walking towards him. "Yes. Let me say what I want to say and then you can beat me or stab me or whatever it is you want to do to me."
"Alright. You want a game, do you?" the man at the front of the group teased.
"No, I want a discussion."
"Go ahead. We're listening."
"I want to give you the option at a different life. You've all accepted now that there is nowhere to go with your life except prison. That's part of what drives you to kill me. But we're willing to show you a different way. If you now walk away from the Druids and report to the police, you won't be arrested or charged. And we'll give you a job at Albion. All you've ever seen is the bad in the world. I want to show you the good. No catches. You'd be assessed and watched but it would be a proper job. You'd earn money to get a flat or maybe even a house with. If any of you are addicts, we'll help you get through rehab. We're willing to forgive you and find you a better life if you're willing to forget this hatred and be open to it. There is such amazing goodness in this world if you let yourself see it."
There was silence for a while before the man at the front spoke again, "That's it? You came here to bargain your life for a job? Oh, Merlin."
"You don't have to go to prison! You can have a job where people respect you and you make a positive impact on the world. It's all been agreed to. No matter whether I walk out of this situation alive, any of you who leave right now without hurting anyone will be given a job. It's all arranged."
"We'd be tied down to one position forever?"
"A position you'd enjoy. Probably more than you enjoy roaming the streets under the threat of arrest, hurting people and taking drugs. And if you don't you can come back to it. The streets aren't going anywhere."
"You're going to die, what do you care?"
"I want to at least try and make a difference to your lives. I don't believe you're all bad people."
The man walked towards him a few steps and then turned to face his friends, "Well, you all heard the man! Who wants to go? I won't stop you, I know how much you all dream of a better life. You can go if you want," he sounded genuine.
Within a few minutes there were only other five men left at the clearing with Merlin and the man who spoke up the most. He was surprised at how successful he'd been but relieved. The plan was to sneak some police officers into the area amongst the movement of others leaving so they wouldn't be noticed.
"Anyone else?" the main man looked at his five friends, "No? Loyal, these ones. Lost too much already. These two here, Halig and Jarl, they killed a man yesterday. Reckon there's no going back from that. Beat him to death."
Merlin forced himself not to react.
"Well, no use sitting chatting all day. Shall we get down to business? Scared?"
"Not particularly. I came here for a reason."
"Aren't you a brave little one? Is your hubby proud?"
Merlin tensed, "Don't bring him into this."
"Ooh, a sore spot. He is going to miss you, isn't he? Or is he just a charity worker doing a favour for a cripple?"
"Stop it. This isn't about him."
"Awh," he cooed, "Sensitive?"
"If you want to kill me, get on with it. Don't play."
"That's no fun. But if you insist. You can choose, by the way. How do you want to die? We've got a full range. Knife, club, fists of course, I think Aredian carries matches, or my new toy." He reached into his pocket and produced a gun, "Like it? I took it from your police friend the other day. Breaking into the flat wasn't entirely pointless. Although I'd have loved to see you. So? What will it be? I'd love to try this out." He twirled the gun around for a bit and raised his eyebrow.