Chapter Nine

We all went back to the cabin to wait it out. Montero figured this was as safe as any place else, and if he was right, we wouldn't be here very long anyway.

Montero held out his hand to me. "Plum, let's take a walk."

I took his hand and we walked down to the bank of the river and sat down.

"I thought we should talk" he said.

I nodded. I figured talking was long overdue.

Montero blew out a big breath. "First I want to apologize for what happened at the lodge. What I said was out of line, and pinning you against the wall like that was unforgiveable."

I put my hand on his arm and shook my head. "No, don't apologize. I was the one that was out of line, and what you said was fair. The wall thing might have been a little caveman like." I smiled at him. "Really it is OK. It wasn't a finer moment, and I pushed you in ways that were completely inappropriate. What you said was true and you didn't hurt me at all."

"But I scared you."

"No" I said. "You turned me on." I winced. Shit did I just say that out loud?

"Being pinned against the wall and kissed by a seriously hot man has to be every woman's fantasy." I tried to sound like I was joking, but the air between us crackled.

His eyes cut to mine. "Oh" he said. "With everything that Lillian went through, my radar is just off, I guess. I have to say Plum that relationship and my failures at it really fucked me up."

My heart ached for him. I wrapped my arms around him and we leaned into each other. In that moment I realized how much his relationship with Lillian had cost him. "I'm sorry" I said. "I should have been there for you."

"No, you had your own demons to conquer. I think we made a mistake Plum. I think we should have taken a minute and decided for ourselves what we wanted. That is my one great regret in this you know. I should have taken a step back and made a rational decision. But when you pushed me to Lillian, I guess I just figured you didn't really love me and I figured you were right. I had an obligation to her." Montero shrugged.

"Now, I'm not so sure that was true. I wish we would have taken the time to explore our feelings for each other before just running back to them like we didn't have a choice." His voiced trailed off and he looked off into the distance.

I grimaced. I had done to Montero what Ranger had done to me with Morelli. Because I was unsure about my feelings, I had pushed him away. Pushed him into the arms of someone else, and that had cost him.

"I did love you" I said. "I still do."

Montero kissed me. It was laced with all the want and frustration that had dogged us for a year. Maybe Montero was right. We should have taken a moment to figure out what we wanted. Maybe I would have chosen Montero. I still could.

No, I knew without reservation that wasn't true. I loved Montero, but I loved Ranger more. I always would.

Montero had pulled back and was studying me intently.

"And, I love you. But sometimes love isn't enough. You know what I think we would have figured out?" Montero asked me. His voice had taken on a cool, crisp quality.

"What?"

"That we would have made each other crazy. I'm don't think I would have handled your crazy life all that well. You take so many risks, and the work you do is dangerous. To be honest you operate a little too far outside the law sometimes for me." Montero let that sink in for a minute then continued.

"I think I would have wanted you to change or held you back, and you would have resented me." Montero shrugged. "You are basically the female equivalent of Manoso. I guess I don't see being married or having kids with a female Ranger."

I stared at him for a minute. I felt like I had just been sucker punched. My emotions were swirling around me, and I had flashbacks to Morelli. Maybe Montero was right. Law enforcement types were just way too uptight, and I had dodged a bullet. I was irrationally hurt, but at least that question was settled. I need not waste another sleepless night on Rafe Montero.

I stood-up. "Good to know" I said and walked off. My emotions were raw. Montero didn't want me, Ranger didn't want me. Hell, I should have fucked Reyes, but then again Reyes probably didn't really want me either.

Reyes looked up when I got back to the cabin but didn't say anything. For that I was grateful. I didn't want to talk about what had just happened. All this time I'd been thinking I gave something up to be with Ranger. I guess I should give Montero credit for knowing himself well enough to know a future with me was out of the question. It really shouldn't bother me, but it did. I thought I was a good judge of people. Clearly, I was wrong.

Montero didn't come back to the cabin for another hour. After which we largely ignored each other.

Reyes made coffee and studied us silently. He knew something had gone down, but he was a smart man and stayed out of it.

Montero got a call and he stepped outside to take it. I was immediately on high alert. When he stepped back in, he looked grim.

"Is it Ranger? Is he OK?"

Montero's gaze shifted to me. "Manoso is fine. Kovac is dead. They rounded up the guys that abducted you. At least the ones that were left." He glared at Reyes for a moment. Reyes just shrugged and raised his eyebrow daring Montero to say anything more.

I felt such relief wash over me I thought my knees were going to buckle. I hadn't even realized I had been holding my breath. Montero and Reyes both reached for me. I reached for Reyes.

I thought I saw something like pain flash across Montero's face, but figured I was just seeing things. Montero had made himself perfectly clear, and if I was honest, he was right. I was relieved Kovac was dead, and I guess that made me just like Ranger.

Reyes gathered me to him and gave me a hug. "Everything is OK." I was trembling.

I nodded, but I couldn't keep the tears at bay and they fell unheeded down my cheeks. I didn't realize until that moment how terrified I was. Not that something was going to happen to me, but rather Ranger would get hurt because of me.

In that moment, I promised the Universe I was going to stop being stubborn and stupid. I wasn't going to let my own insecurity tear us apart. Granted, Ranger and I probably needed to establish some boundaries, but I was done being mad at Ranger.

Ranger has been consistent our entire relationship. Ranger loves me. Ranger will do anything to keep me safe. Ranger is a natural born hero. Maybe it was time I just accepted that and loved Ranger for who he was instead of projecting my insecurities on him.

I realized that when Ranger took the Vega job, he couldn't have predicted a mole would change the game or that they would try and kill him. He hadn't planned on pretending to be dead or being gone for so long.

The situation had evolved and he did the best he could. He stayed alive, sent someone to watch over me, and worked to make us safe so we could be reunited. He had also forgiven me for every stupid mistake I had made while he was gone. Ranger forgave me for giving up on him.

When I thought it through, it wasn't any different than my current situation. When I went on Petrov's boat, I had no idea I was going to witness his execution. But things had changed. I hadn't planned to be in witness protection, yet here I was. Separated from Ranger, with the knowledge I could have been gone a long time. Thanks to Ranger, Kovac was no longer a threat.

Ranger had done what needed to be done. He kept me alive, sent Reyes to watch over me, and ended the threat so we could be reunited. I hoped he would also forgive me for all the stupid mistakes I had made.

Things beyond our control had propelled us down a path neither of us could predict. Sometimes I'm an idiot. You would think I would have recognized that before now.

A little while later, we all piled into the ancient truck and drove two hours to the nearest airstrip. Montero and I never said a word to each other. When we got to the airfield, I was surprised to see two planes on the tarmac.

One of them was from Kincaid Securities. Apparently, Reyes was needed on another assignment.

"I've gotta go darlin'" he said. "Are you going to be OK? You and Montero seem to be at war?"

"No, I'm fine. Montero and I just had a long overdue talk that was pretty brutal, but necessary." I told him.

Reyes kissed my forehead and gave Montero a death glare and stalked off. I could always count on Reyes to be in my corner.

Montero and I boarded our plane to DC. I settled in for five hours of silence. I really couldn't think of a single thing to say to Montero after our little chat. We would go home and he would go his way and I would go mine and that would be that.

I was a lot more tired than I thought, and about twenty minutes into the flight I fell asleep. I didn't stir until the pilot came on to say we were landing.

My breathing was shallow, and I was suddenly very nervous. Would Ranger be waiting? Had I ruined things between us? Ranger may have been a world-class bastard about the Montero thing, but I had been a world-class bitch about everything.

My seatbelt was already unbuckled and I was making my way up the aisle before the plane ever stopped taxiing. I don't know why, but I stopped and looked back at Montero. The look on his face stopped me cold. He was looking at me with such raw emotion and hunger in his eyes that I felt my heart stutter.

Suddenly, I understood. I marched back down the aisle and grasp him behind the neck and pulled him into a kiss. A long, deep, thorough kiss.

"You would have married me" I said.

"In a heartbeat."

"And, had beautiful blue-eyed babies with me."

"As many as you wanted. We could have had a soccer team." He smiled sadly.

"So why push me away. Why tell me you didn't want me?" I was pretty sure I knew the answer.

"The way I felt about you Plum, I've never felt like that about anyone. That is part of the reason Lillian and I broke-up. I think she deserves to have someone feel that way about her and I deserve to have someone feel that way about me."

"But I do lo…." Montero put his fingers on my lips to stop me.

"I know you love me, but you don't love me like you love Ranger. The two of you are." His voice trailed off looking for the right words. "The two of you are magic together. And to be honest, there is a little truth in what I said about not being sure I have the nerve to be in a relationship with you. I'm really not sure how Ranger just takes it all in stride. I'd be riddled with ulcers and probably die young." He grinned at me. "So, you see it really is for the better. You're doing me a favor."

"If I would have met you first" I said and my voice trailed off.

"But you didn't. Now go, before I embarrass myself and beg you to stay. And Plum, stop being mad at Ranger. He loves you."

I nodded and turned to leave.

"Hey Plum" Montero called.

I turned to look at him. "I'll see you at our place."

"Yes, you will" I smiled and exited the plane.

I had once wondered what I would do if the roles had been reversed and it was Ranger waiting on the tarmac for me and not Lillian waiting for Montero.

I no longer wondered. I wasn't cool or subtle. The minute my feet hit the ground I was running. I skidded to a stop in front of him. His face was neutral and unreadable as usual.

I reached out and grabbed the lapels of his windbreaker and hauled him to me. Ranger stared at me and waited. I would have thought he was calm, but I could feel the hammering of his heart. Apparently, Batman was rattled.

"Marry me."

Ranger let out a pent-up breath and grinned. "Yes."

I leapt into Ranger's arms. If it had been anyone else, I might have actually bowled them over. I kissed him. It wasn't a polite or tentative kiss. It was a I-want-to-meld-our-souls kind of kiss.

"I love you." I breathed.

"Babe" Ranger said. "Are you ready to go home?"

"No. I want to go to the courthouse right now and get a marriage license, and then I want to go to Miami and get married."

"Babe, that I can do."