Chapter Nineteen
"Sorry could...you say that one more time for me?" Iris asked as gently as she could. It was the fifth time in as many letters that she'd spaced out and not heard her commission speaking. She was far too distracted today but so far she hadn't been able to shake it. She'd been this way for days but today had been especially bad so far. She was nervous and distracted more than she may have ever been.
Was there enough room? Could they both have time to themselves? Were they ready for that kind of step? What would happen if it didn't work out?
What if he stopped liking her once he was spending every night with her?
What if he didn't want to move in with her?
She'd been trying to pluck up the courage for days now to ask Benedict if he wanted to share her apartment with her. As cozy as her apartment was, it looked like a penthouse compared to his tiny room. She guessed he must have enough space for himself but every time she was there it felt cramped and like he didn't have any room to breathe. Maybe he liked it that way, she hadn't asked, but the fact remained that the closer they became the more she wanted to move in together and that couldn't be accomplished where he lived right now.
To be fair though, it could barely be accomplished where she lived either. That little fact wasn't helping the stress she felt. Was it too soon to be asking him something like that? And what if he did say yes? The last thing she wanted to do was go apartment shopping in the busiest city in the country. Again.
The first time had been bad enough. She'd looked for days on end, despite the fact that Leiden was an ever-expanding city in its new post-war environment. More people were moving to the capitol every day at the end of the war and competing for one-person apartments had been the most stressful thing Iris had ever had to do.
Maybe it wouldn't be so bad with another person with her though. She hoped that that would somehow make it easier but she doubted it.
When the afternoon bell finally rang she was out of her chair before it finished. The office had been painfully quiet lately. She'd forgotten how much the trio of dolls had conversed casually before Violet had come to work there. Funny how the quietest and most efficient worker was the one that had brought them all closer together and gotten them all out of their shells. Not that Cattleya ever had a shell, but she did always have her nose buried in her work when it was available and with one doll missing from their foursome there was more than enough work to go around.
Too much, really. The dry spell they had been experiencing before Violet had gone to Drossel had ended about a week after she'd left and now they were up to their ears in requests without their fastest Doll. None of them could come even close to the speed which Violet typed at. Sure, speed wasn't everything when working with a customer, but when it came to copying addresses for mass letters Violet was unmatched, and the work had to be done. Without the blonde there all three of the remaining dolls struggled to get their more mundane work done in the breathers between having a customer in front of them.
As she made her way out and onto the balcony that ran around the second floor of the building she spotted Benedict heading in through the double doors. He was coming back more and more disheveled and late every day. His bike had been breaking down a lot more lately. He was lucky he knew how to fix it each time but one of these days that bike was going to quit on him for good and when it did he'd have to walk like a lot of the other postmen. A lot of the company bikes had failed months or even years ago by now but Benedict's knowledge of the machines had allowed him to keep this one running long after the others. If it had been an expensive and quality bike, to begin with, he'd probably still have it running like it was Brand new, but the bikes had been cheap and nasty, to begin with.
No amount of love and care was going to keep them running for more than a few years and most of the postmen were already walking their routes. This meant that Benedict was the only one still capable of delivering the heavier packages without using one of their hand carts and that he spent most of each day driving back and forth with a few packages at a time.
It seemed exhausting.
Iris couldn't imagine why he still did the work. Benedict could have a much better job in a mechanics shop if he wanted to. Company loyalty, she figured, was the reason but even still, he needed to have a lot of it if that were the case. Each day he'd come back with oil or grease stains on his shirt or pants and each day he wouldn't complain. Maybe he really enjoyed the work? She'd never actually asked him if he liked it or not...maybe today was the day?
"Hey," she smiled as he climbed the stairs toward her. When he looked up at her he found her leaning on the balcony above him and she watched that smile she loved so much spread over his lips. Love. She loved his smile.
She probably loved him .
"Hey."
"Bike break again?"
"Hmph," he snorted and looked down at the black stain on his white shirt. "What gave it away?"
"Hah," she chuckled a little and met him at the top of the steps. She pressed her pointer finger into his chest and smirked. "At least it looks good on you," she cooed softly and watched his cheeks light up a little as he tried to hide the blush.
"Glad someone thinks so," he laughed. "I'll clock out and I'll see you in a minute alright?" He said and leaned down, quickly pecking his lips against her cheek. She drew in a deep breath to try and calm her nerves and closed her eyes.
"Yeah, I'll be outside," she nodded and watched him go. Iris made her way down the steps and out in front of the large building with a growing sense of dread welling in her stomach. Was she moving too fast? Would she scare him away like this?
Iris found her way to a bench beneath the second-floor balcony and sat down. She drew in a long breath and tried her very hardest to think of what Violet would do in this situation. She hadn't seen her friend in far too long. This job she was on may have had a fixed ending date but Iris swore the longer she waited the longer the wait seemed. Some days it felt as though Violet was never coming back.
Violet had changed their office dynamic in more ways than one over the last two years of her employment and it was only now that she wasn't here that it showed the most. The mass workloads were piling up. Simple things like copying addresses took twice as long without Violet around to power through them.
Erica, Iris, and Cattleya had never been incredible friends before Violet came around either, and with their blonde co-worker gone the office had grown quiet. It wasn't that they didn't like each other, they simply had nothing new to talk about without their new colleague around to spark conversation. That was another thing Iris always admired about Violet. Her naivety sparked conversations that otherwise would never take place between the four women.
Iris missed her awfully.
Violet wouldn't be sitting here in a nervous wreck over such a simple question. If it were Violet asking Trevor she would simply blurt the words out and hope for the best...probably.
Alright maybe that was true of Violet in the past but Iris drew in a deep breath and accepted that that probably wasn't true anymore. Violet had changed quite a lot in the time she'd been seeing Trevor. She had grown nerves among other things and showed all of them that she was far more capable of displaying emotion than any of them had expected.
Maybe Violet would struggle with this subject when it came up between the Doll and the Machinist after all.
"Hey," she jumped a little at the sudden voice. Benedict took a seat beside her on the bench slowly and when she looked at him she found his blue eyes fixed on the bay.
"Hey," she breathed.
"You alright? You've seemed pretty…" Benedict slowed down and tried to pick his words carefully. "Nervous?"
"I'm not very good at hiding it, am I?" Iris half smiled and felt slight relief when Benedict chuckled and put his arm around her shoulders.
"No, not really," she studied his smile. She didn't like to make other people worry about her. That was Violet's job. Iris sucked in a deep breath through her nose and tried to pluck up courage.
"Do you want to find a new apartment?"
The words spilled from her lips too quickly and a little too loudly. They tumbled from her mouth and out into the air and she watched Benedict turn his head to face her. They weren't exactly what she had meant to say but at least it was something.
"What's wrong with my apartment?" He smirked and his eyelids drew in tight.
Damn him. He knew what she meant. It was written all over his stupid pretty face. He knew exactly what she had meant to say and he was still going to make her try to say it again.
Iris' words met the choke point in her throat and she began to fumble. Those bright blue eyes could see right through her and the more she looked into them the more trouble she had trying to say what she wanted. "I-I mean, well you, you're apartment is fine and all and I mean, mine is too I guess but I just, I was just," she tried time and time again to circle back to the actual question but it wasn't going to work.
Iris pulled her lips shut tight and closed her eyes before taking in one more deep breath. She dug her nails into her thighs and bit her lower lip. She could hear his breath now and could tell Benedict was doing his very best to not laugh at her and be patient.
"Me," Iris finally said quietly. She opened her eyes slowly and looked up into Benedict's face and this time, he was giving her a more curious look.
"You?" He asked.
"I'm what's wrong with your apartment," she affirmed and once more took in a deep breath. "I don't live in it."
Benedict looked surprised. Shocked even, and Iris wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing at this point. Was she the only one of them that had been having thoughts of moving in together? Dammit, she had been moving too fast, hadn't she? She'd known it. Deep down she knew it was too early to be asking questions like this.
She wanted to run. She thought she might until she felt him move and grab for her hand. Her vision dropped to their entwining fingers before shooting back up to his brilliant blue hues.
"You-you wanna move in together?" He asked and Iris detected a slight hint of hope in his tone.
"I do...yeah," she nodded shyly.
"You really like me that much?" Benedict almost laughed and Iris' face lit up bright red.
"Is that a problem?"
"No," this time he did laugh. "No, it's not a problem at all I'm just...surprised. That's all," he said as he scratched the back of his head.
"So?" She breathed. "What do you think?"
"I think that sounds-"
"Oh there you are," the pair nearly jumped off the bench in surprise. In the open doorway to the foyer stood Hodgins. Neither of them had heard him approaching. They'd been far too wrapped up in their conversation to notice the loud footsteps echoing out of the building. "Oh, I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"
"Yeah kinda," Benedict mumbled reflexively and was quickly met with a gentle slap in the shoulder from Iris. Hodge frowned a little before sighing.
"We can talk tomorrow if you want," he began but Iris stood from the bench.
"No, it's okay. What do you need, President?" Benedict stood as well and ruffled his hair a little.
"Yeah what's up?"
"If you really don't mind," Hodgins shrugged. "I've got a slightly unorthodox delivery for you, Benedict."
"Oh? How unorthodox are we talking about?"
"Well, Hodgins produced two letters from within his vest for them to see. "Violet has a request to make of you."
The couple perked up at the mention of their colleague and Benedict stepped forward to take the letters from his boss. "Oh?" He mused.
"This is going to sound a little silly to you Benedict but this is Violet we are talking about," Hodgins smiled softly. "So keep an open mind okay?"
Benedict scanned the letters and noticed easily that they were both addressed to the same person at the same address. That was strange enough until he took another look at the address. "These are both…" he paused and squinted before looking up at Claudia. "Why are these both coming from Drossel and going back to Drossel?"
"Violet had them mailed here so that you could be tasked with delivering them specifically. I know that sounds a little ridiculous but," Hodge shrugged. "I guess she only trusts you to see them delivered personally."
"She sent two letters all the way here just to have them delivered across town from where she wrote them?" Even Iris was confused. What a colossal waste of postage.
"Like I said it sounds like a waste of time but when Violet wants something you know she won't stop until she gets it."
"Geez," Benedict sighed. "How am I getting there?"
"You're actually gonna deliver them?" Iris asked in mild surprise.
"Yeah?" Benedict turned to smile at her. "How could I say no?"
"Our bikes aren't going to get you out that far. You'll have to take the train. You can take a bike with you though. They should have an automobile car to store it in for the ride."
"Suppose I'll be leaving tomorrow then? Who's going to cover my route?"
"Don't worry about that, we'll figure it out," Hodge smiled and placed a hand on Benedict's shoulder. "I appreciate how you're handling this."
"Hah, hey I'm gonna need the overtime," he smirked and Hodge's face went pale. He hadn't thought of all the extra pay Benedict would need for the week. He ran his hands through his red hair and swallowed hard. "Gonna need a good deposit on a new apartment, right?" He said with a smile back toward Iris. Her face lit up like a Christmas tree for a moment before a smile spread across her lips and she nodded.
"Yes well," Hodgins sighed and tried to cheer himself up. "You'll be glad to know that you won't be working the entire time you're away."
"Hm? Why's that?"
"Once you've delivered the letters you'll be meeting up with Violet at the train station and coming home together."
"Wait, her assignment is over already?" Iris jumped forward in excitement. Time really had begun to blend together. Sure it had felt like forever since Violet had left but Iris could have sworn it hadn't already been three months.
"Yep, a long three months had finally passed," Hodgins breathed a sigh of relief. "We need her back, that's for sure."
"Alright. Should I even come here in the morning or should I just take one of the bikes home tonight and head right to the station tomorrow?"
Hodge was reluctant to let Benedict take one of the bikes home with him but for once he had to admit that it would be better that way. "You can drive one home tonight, yeah. It'll be better that way."
Benedict barely held in his excitement. Walking home from work every day was the worst and for the first time in a while, he finally wouldn't have to, at least for one day. "You got it. I'll be there."
When Hodgens had finally left them and gone back inside, Benedict and Iris had walked over to the row of bikes parked against the front wall of the building. "I'm telling you they aren't that bad," he tried again and Iris bit her lower lip.
He'd been trying to find an excuse to get her onto one of the bikes for ages now but she hadn't budged an inch on her 'death trap' stance. The fact that she seemed to be silently contemplating it for once was surprise enough, nevermind when a small, "maybe" escaped her mouth.
"Wait," Benedict blinked and stuck his finger into his ear. "Did I hear that right?" He received a swift punch in the arm for his joke but he silently affirmed to himself that it had been worth it.
"Don't make a big deal out of it but...fine," Iris huffed nervously. "I swear to god if you throw me off of this thing I don't know what I'm gonna do to you."
Benedict pulled the bike from its parking space and turned it toward the road. These bikes weren't designed for more than one person but there at least was a space for small packages behind the seat. Benedict slid back onto it, figuring it would be nicer of him to take the uncomfortable ride. Well, the more uncomfortable ride anyway, since the seats in these small bikes weren't all that nice either.
Iris stepped over the seat and sat down warily between his legs. "Where do I put my feet? She asked as she observed the way his stilettoes were hooked around the pedals.
"Uhhhhh," he sighed and looked around her shoulder down at the bike. "There," he pointed to a small gap on either side of the bike's frame where her own wedged heels could hook against the metal.
"Is that safe?" She breathed nervously.
"Yeah," he shrugged and tried to sound convincing but if he was being honest, he hadn't worked out the actual logistics of this. He'd never thought he'd get this far. "Perfectly safe."
His arms went around her shoulders and Iris tried to make herself as small as she could. The last thing she wanted to be was in the way. "Ready?" Benedict asked. "Need you to balance as best you can while I start this thing, okay?"
"Oh god, I forgot these are pedal starts," Iris grit her teeth. She shut her eyes tight and tried her best to sit perfectly still and upright as Benedict began to pedal as best he could. One meter, two, and three, and then the bike shook and sputtered beneath them. Iris almost jumped off right then and there, her fingers gripping tightly to the framework of the seat.
After a few moments though she felt the wind begin to blow against her face and through her silvery hair. As they coasted down the long-hilled driveway of the C&H company she felt her stomach drop and her fingers grabbed for Benedict's arms. They clamped down tight as she let her crack open just enough to see them coast toward the open gates and out onto the road.
Benedict joined the light traffic of the late afternoon and slowly but surely Iris tried to let herself relax. She found herself looking to either side of the street, watching faces and storefronts flash past in a blur.
She'd never gone this fast before. Well, other than on the train but that was mostly out in the countryside. Not in the open air of the busy city streets beside other cars and trams.
"So you really want to move in with me?" She heard Benedict shout over the wind.
"Can we talk about this when we stop?" Iris shivered and Benedict couldn't help but laugh.
"Yeah alright. How is it? Not so bad right?"
"It's," Iris shouted to match his tone but drew in a long breath. She took another look around and tried to take everything in before answering. She was already closer to being home than she would have been if she'd gotten on the tram twenty minutes ago. She couldn't believe it. Benedict seemed to be a pro at this, weaving through traffic like it wasn't even there. "Yeah," she finally admitted and felt a shy smile creep over her lips.
"It's not so bad."