PART 9
The Hospital Wing.
"Show true courage?" said James,. "That's easy! Find a dragon, stab it and untie the maiden! Eezy peezy!"
"Hoody said no heroism," said Remus.
"He said true courage, didn't he? Oh! I know! Storm the Dark Wizard headquarters, stab everyone and untie the maiden! Eezy peezy! Did he say to not stab anyone?"
"No."
"Find a sea monster, stab it and make it seem like it almost killed you! Eezy peezy!"
"Look, the point is, it isn't supposed to be easy."
"It won't be that easy because I bet sea monsters have very tough skin and poisonous tentacles! It is not going to be easy!"
"Almost dying, but not really dying, that is not easy," said Sirius.
"I guess simply playing dead and waiting for the gasps isn't allowed."
"Did Hoody say what you were allowed to do?"
"I did get a hint," said Remus. "He said that true courage is doing what is difficult, risking what is important, because it's right."
Sirius snorted an rolled his eyes.
"That's the poor man's courage! Courage for the weakly spined who don't have the balls to stab a sea monster!"
"Yeah that's the shittest definition of courage I've ever heard," James agreed. "Written by a bloody hippie. Padfoot how did that quote go?"
" 'It takes courage to stand up to your enemies, but it takes more courage to stand up to your friends.' "
They held their faces straight for a moment, before they fell into a roaring laugh. Tears gushed from their eyes and their tummies hurt.
"Ok, ok!" said James, fighting off late-arriving chuckles. "That's awesome! So all you have to do is find something that is difficult, risky, and right! Hmmm..."
"Oh! I know! Horse betting! It's difficult, risky but money is right!"
"Quidditch is difficult, risky and very right."
"Could you take this seriously, please? What else? Cosmetic surgery!"
"How about YOU take this seriously, Padfoot! The answer is pretty obvious, isn't it?"
"Is it?"
"Yes it's obvious! I can't believe you can't see how obvious it is!"
"And it's not horse betting, or throwing out an old wardrobe?"
"You're close. I mean, the solution is not getting inside the closet, yeah? So, ergo, it must be...!"
"You think he has to come out of the closet..?"
"What are you talking about?" Remus asked.
"Hey, it takes courage to come out to your enemies, but it takes MORE courage-"
" 'To your enemies' ?"
Shrug. "I imagine."
"I'm not gay."
"So you're just queer baiting, is that it?"
"What's queer baiting?"
"Whatever you say. I'm still glad we had this talk. Hey, maybe that was it!"
Alas... It wasn't.
"That was not what I meant," said James. "It's just a figure of speech."
"Um I know gays don't literally come out of closets. I have never encountered any puff in a closet except for that time Moony decided to have a go at weed."
"I was referring to a different sort of 'coming out'. I'm just laying it out on the table. Let me know if there is an approprate show tune for it, but it is time to come out!"
"Heeeey woooorld heeeeere IIIII aaaammm!"
"He's coming out, not you."
"Don't tell me not to bite, I simply got to!"
"That's just what I think but I am dead sure, I just don't see what else it could mean!"
"Prongs when you're right, you're right!"
"That's not the task!" said Remus,
Then he whipped out a paper bag and began to breathe into it, while rocking back and forth.
"Very nice, you broke him!" said Sirius.
"I'm sorry to be the messenger!" said James. "But there's just no putting it off any longer. All I'm saying is that, it is time-"
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Remys cried out.
"-for Shishi to go. But again, that is just what I think."
"OOOOOO- Shishi?"
"Yeah. What did you think?"
"Well you said 'come out'!"
"I know! To McGonagall, with Shishi!"
"What would be the point of that?"
"To show courage, try to keep up!"
"How would that be right in anyway?"
"Well he wees in my shoes, can't say I'd miss him."
"But we need Shishi!" said Sirius.
"I know! We all knew this was going to be difficult!"
"Well blasted you're right."
Remus sighed. He didn't want to give up Shishi, nor could he believe that could be the task. But just what else could it be?