Old Friends, New Names, Part 2
Homulilly didn't like to do things without Gretchen.
She didn't like going to the group meetings without Gretchen. She didn't like going to meals without Gretchen. She didn't like going to the library without Gretchen. She didn't like going for walks without Gretchen. She didn't even like staying in their shared apartment without Gretchen.
Gretchen made her feel safe. Gretchen was the only person in the world that Homulilly really trusted enough to talk to, to confide in. Gretchen was the only person that Homulilly could let her guard down around, the only person that Homulilly didn't mind seeing the skeletal horror that was her hands, arms, shoulders, and upper back. Gretchen was the only person that truly accepted Homulilly.
And that was kind of the problem.
Homulilly sat in Dr. Cynthia's office, arms clutched to her chest, staring down at the tea table between her and the counselor. And for the first time, she sat alone.
Normally when she was there, she was there with Gretchen, and the two of them would sit side-by-side on the couch to talk to Dr. Cynthia. But the couch was gone, replaced by a comfortable easy chair the exact same color and style as the couch. Whether Dr. Cynthia had replaced it in anticipation of Homulilly's solo visit or had used magic to shrink it down into a one-seater, Homulilly neither knew nor cared. She just knew that she would feel infinitely more comfortable if Gretchen was with her.
But the sad fact of the matter was that no matter how close they were, no matter how comfortable Homulilly felt around Gretchen, no matter how safe Gretchen made her feel, there were still things that Homulilly couldn't tell even her, things that she couldn't talk about with Gretchen or even bring up when Gretchen was there.
And so she was by herself.
"I just…I just feel…" Homulilly started say, but then stopped. No, she couldn't say that.
"It's okay, Homulilly," Dr. Cynthia said. "You can say whatever you like."
"I just…I just feel like maybe Gretchen would be happier if she wasn't, you know…" Homulilly's head bowed, and the rest of her thought came out in more of a mumble. "…stuck with me."
Truthfully, Homulilly probably should have sought out Dr. Cynthia's help a lot sooner, but even she hadn't expected to have gotten to this point. She and Gretchen had been out for a walk in the FIB gardens, wandering around the desert-like arid zone, when they had come across a few of the older students, those who had been part of the integration program for a while. And though Homulilly would have been perfectly content to just let them pass without drawing attention, Gretchen's natural friendliness had not only caused her to cheerfully greet them, but also ask their names and about their time in the integration program.
Which had then turned into them asking questions as well, and Gretchen answering them.
And that ended up turning into something awful. It had turned into a conversation.
As was often the case whenever something like that happened, Homulilly hung back, bit her tongue, and waited for it to be over, all the while wishing that the other party would just hurry up and go away.
But then one of them looked at her, and started asking her the same questions she had been asking Gretchen.
That had done it.
Homulilly had broken down. She had lost control and started shaking and crying, and the more she had tried to bring herself under control the worse it got.
Gretchen had, of course, immediately rushed to help and comfort her, which was fine. But what wasn't fine was that the two older students had also come in closer to see if they could help, and in the process, one of them had touched Homulilly's arm.
Homulilly had screamed then.
And so, she was here, in Dr. Cynthia's office, wondering what was wrong with her.
In response to Homulilly's painful baring of her soul, Dr. Cynthia merely crossed her legs and clasped her fingers over her knees, her chrome nails glinting in the light from the window. "Do you feel like you are…inadequate?" she asked.
Homulilly shivered. "I just get in the way," she said.
"Did Gretchen…express concern over your friendship?"
"No!" Homulilly was quick to reply. "Never! She's never been anything but wonderful to me. But…" She winced. "She likes talking to other people. She likes meeting other people."
"And you…don't."
Homulilly bowed her head, her long, raven hair falling over her face like a veil. "They scare me," she admitted.
"Ah." Dr. Cynthia didn't seem at all surprised by this. "Is it the other witches? Do their appearances make you uneasy?"
"No! Um, well, maybe a little. At first." Linda especially was very unsettling, given how much of her was essentially a big spider. "But I got used to it."
"Then is it the magical girls, the Puella Magi? Do you still feel that they want to hurt you?"
Homulilly actually had to think on that a bit. It was true that she had been kind of terrified of them at first. After all, supposedly the only reason she and Gretchen were at the FIB to begin with was because some magical girls in the world of the living had destroyed the witch they had become, but after meeting the Puella Magi and having to spend some time with them, it really did seem as they were more afraid of the witches holding a grudge than the witches were of being hunted.
"Not anymore," Homulilly said. "Not really."
"Are you afraid of the other caretakers?"
"Sometimes."
"Are you afraid of me?"
Homulilly hesitated, and then said, "Used to be. Not anymore."
"Why not?"
Homulilly struggled to come up with an answer she could put into words, to find an adequate way to describe her confusing feelings, but really couldn't.
"Is it because I've already seen you without your gloves and wasn't afraid?"
Homulilly make a little choking sound deep in her throat.
"It is, isn't it? You're afraid that if they knew about your arms, they would be scared of you."
Homulilly shivered. She remembered her first day in the FIB, trying her best to hide her skeletal arms from the others, remembered the surprised double-takes from those who did notice and how ashamed they had made her feel. She remembered deliberately showing Amirah how they looked and seeing the fear and revulsion in her eyes.
"They'll think I'm a monster," Homulilly whispered. "And they'll be right!"
"Hmmm. A monster. I see." Dr. Cynthia steepled her fingers against her chin. "And what makes one a monster?"
Homulilly was a little taken back by the question. She had expected Dr. Cynthia to immediately start telling her that there was no way that she was a monster, and that her arms looked just fine, and no one would judge her if she would just let them see her how she really was. "Huh?"
"A monster. What is a monster, exactly?"
"A monster? It's, well, it's…" Homulilly's voice faltered.
"You see, the word 'monster' has a lot of meanings, and is thrown around pretty liberally. In olden days, whenever explorers would find a new land and encounter wild animals that they had never seen before, they would call them monsters, but over time, when people got used to them and gave them regular names, they were just animals. When we here encountered magical girls from other planets who also died and came here, we called them monsters, and they called us monsters, but now they're just…people. People from different species and planets, but still just people." Dr. Cynthia shrugged. "I've been here a pretty long time, Homulilly. I know I don't look it, but I've done this job for a while, and I've seen a lot of strange and different things. And it seems to me that most 'monsters' are just things that are strange and different that we haven't gotten used to yet, while the real monsters are people who hurt others for their own gain, either because they don't care or because they actually like it. And I just don't see that in you."
"But I do!" Homulilly blurted out. "I mean, I did!"
"Oh? How so?"
"By being born!"
Dr. Cynthia quirked an eyebrow.
"I'm…I'm not supposed to exist! I'm just a ghost, and not even the right ghost!" Homulilly ran her gloved fingers down her cheeks. "This face? This isn't my face, it's the face of the girl I killed! She fell into despair, and that created me! I was born, I took over, I ruined her, and when we both died, I was the only one who came here!"
Then, so quickly that it surprised even herself, Homulilly yanked off both gloves, exposing the bare bones of her hands and fingers.
"Look!" she said, holding her hand up high and spreading the skeletal digits wide. "Look at me! This is why I look like this! I'm half alive, half dead, and none of it is real, or at least is really mine!"
Dr. Cynthia didn't so much as flinch. "So am I," she said. "And so is Gretchen. We are witches as well. Are we monsters?"
Wincing, Homulilly withdrew her hand, hugging her arms to her stomach. She didn't answer.
"Now, you said that you felt that Gretchen deserved better than you, but you are both witches. How are you a monster and she isn't?"
Homulilly blinked back tears. "But that's just it! I…" She sighed. "I know it doesn't m-make sense, but I can't help feeling that way! But Gretchen, she's…fine with who she is, with what she is, most of the witches are! And she's just so friendly and kind and wants to make friends with everyone, but I get so scared that I just ruin things for her."
"Do you feel that she might resent you for this? Because I know for a fact that she-"
"I know!" Homulilly snapped. Realizing how sharp she had sounded, she winced and took a few moments to calm herself down. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…But, I know she doesn't. I know she really cares about me and is worried about me and wants to help, but that makes it kind of worse!"
"How?"
"Because…Because…" Homulilly teared up again. "Would she even be friends with me if we weren't a Walpurgisnacht?"
Dr. Cynthia smiled a little at that. "Actually, I'd be surprised if we could keep her away from you."
"Huh?"
"Gretchen…well, she likes to help people. I'm sure you've noticed. She's just a very kindhearted and empathetic person, and if you two had not been a Walpurgisnacht, if you had come here separately, I have no doubt that she would sense that you were sad and lonely and want to help you however she could."
…
"I'm just so worried about her," Gretchen groused.
She was sitting outside in the FIB's plaza at a round concrete table. Sitting with her was Marty, the stout German girl whose skin seemed to be woven from paperclips, and Ava, the small Finnish girl who had once mistaken Gretchen and Homulilly for the Walpurgisnacht that had killed her sister, an incident that was fortunately well in the past.
It was Saturday, which meant a free day, and that meant most of the girls were either out in the protected zone, enjoying their newfound freedom, save for the few that actually preferred the amenities of the FIB. However, as time had gone on, Gretchen had come to realize more and more that her closest companion wasn't drawn to any of that.
Homulilly didn't like going out into town. Homulilly didn't like going for walks in the garden. Homulilly didn't like visiting the library. Homulilly didn't like visiting the gym. Homulilly didn't even like visiting the entertainment center, which had everything from space-age video games to a roller-skating rink to a bowling alley.
And yet, she always went wherever Gretchen wanted to go. If Gretchen wanted to go for a walk, then Homulilly went for a walk. If Gretchen wanted to visit the library, then Homulilly visited the library. If Gretchen wanted to play a video game, then Homulilly would watch her.
Homulilly never suggested anything for the two of them to do together, but she was always willing to go wherever Gretchen went. And it always seemed so normal when she did! They would talk, they would look at things and comment on them, and nothing would seem to be wrong!
Until other people got involved. That was when Homulilly would start getting quiet, and after that she would get anxious.
The meltdown in the garden hadn't been the first, but it had been the worst. And while Gretchen was proud of Homulilly for actually going to the caretakers for help, it did make Gretchen feel a little helpless. After all, she was supposed to be Homulilly's soulmate! Why didn't she know what to do?
"Everyone else seems to be coming along fine," Gretchen continued. "But Lilly-chan is just so scared of everything, and I don't know how to help her!"
"Well, not really," Ava admitted.
"Huh?"
"I'm…not really doing much better," Ava said. "I mean, it's been a lot easier ever since they found my sister, and talking to her makes me feel better, but sometimes it's just so hard to even get out of bed." She shivered. "I just keep having nightmares almost every night, about how I'm back, well, you know, alive again, and I'm fighting a witch like I used to, but then the witch turns into one of you, and I'm beating up another girl, and I try to stop but it's like my body's not under my control anymore, and I just keep smashing her face in over and over-"
"Oh no, Ava-chan, don't!" Gretchen pleaded, reaching over the table to clasp Ava's hands. "You know none of that was your fault! And it's like the caretakers told us: all of us witches are actually better off now that you magical girls set us free!"
Marty sympathetically patted Ava on the back while the smaller girl slowly breathed out. "I know, I know," she said once she had calmed down. "But…knowing something and feeling it aren't the same thing. And it's just so hard to get any sleep knowing that those bad dreams are waiting for me. It must be easier for you guys, since you don't remember any of that."
"Well, not by a whole lot," Marty said. "I mean, I don't dream about beating up my classmates, but I get these weird, creepy dreams, where everything's all whooshy and colorful, and there's all these spinning shapes, and I think I can see a face in all that chaos, but the harder I try to look, the more hazy it gets, but it's like I know the other person's name, but just can't recall it, and when I wake up sometimes I can't even remember my own name, and I have to lie there for like several minutes just letting all the weirdness in my head work itself out."
Gretchen and Ava both stared at her.
"Oh," Marty said with a sheepish smile. "Just me?"
"Probably not," Gretchen sighed. "Homulilly-chan has really bad dreams too, and I wouldn't be surprised if most of the other girls also had nightmares."
"But not you?"
Gretchen hesitated, and then said, "Well, there is this one dream that keeps coming back, where I'm sinking into deep water, and it's like my whole body has just fallen asleep, so I can't swim or anything, and I just keep drifting lower and lower, when all of a sudden something's grabbed my legs, and then I'm getting pulled up really, really fast, and then I'm out of the water being lifted up through what looks like a really deep hole or a dark well, but just before whatever it is that's holding onto me pulls me all the way out, it suddenly drops me, and I'm falling all the way back into the water, and I'm sinking again deeper and deeper-"
"Okay, I think we get it," Marty said hastily, the tips of the paperclips in her shoulders and neck curling up in agitation. "We all have a lot of damage to work through."
The three girls sat silently for a time, each ruminating on their respective wounds.
"Okay, you know what?" Marty said so suddenly that it made the other two jump a little bit. "Forget feeling sorry for ourselves. Let's go to the Emporium!"
Gretchen immediately felt her spirits lift, only for them to sour. "I don't know," she said. "Homulilly-chan's not here…"
"Her appointment's not going to be over for a while, right?" Marty said. "So no matter what she won't be here. So that'll give you time to get her a nice gift!"
That was true, but Gretchen still wasn't comfortable going anywhere without her. If the appointment got out early and Gretchen wasn't there to greet her, then Homulilly would be upset. But even beyond that, going anywhere without Homulilly felt…weird, sort of like forgetting one's keys when going out and not finding out until it's too late to go back for them. Even if no one else notices that something is amiss, you are constantly aware that something important is missing and it just puts a damper on the whole trip.
Still, if she did find something nice for Homulilly at a good price, then surely a quick trip couldn't hurt…
"Come on," Marty pressed. "Nothing's solved by sitting here stressing."
"And I have been meaning to get something for Emma," Ava mused. "Her job keeps her from visiting Freehaven a lot, so it would be nice if she had something to remind her of it."
"Well, all right," Gretchen conceded. "May just for a little-"
"Great, let's go!" Marty hopped up and grabbed both girls by the wrists and practically hauled the pair off.
They checked in with the FIB to let them know where they were going, and, at Gretchen's insistence, left word for Homulilly in case she got out of her appointment before they got back. And then they were off.
As Gretchen got her feet under her in order to move herself along, she marveled how they were able to simply walk out whenever they wished. True, the surrounding area was under surveillance, so it wasn't like no one was keeping an eye on things, but it was still a lot more freedom than she had expected to have so soon.
In contrast to the tall walls and narrow streets of most of Freehaven, the protected zone shared by both the residents of the FIB and the Freehaven locals was open and airy. The red-bricked road that they were walking down was probably one of the widest in the town, and was bordered by shady trees.
The road led to the park that had been their first visit during the tour, a wide, grass square with a smattering of trees. Surrounding it were a number of business, from stores to restaurants. In the center was a tinkling fountain, one with four glittering statues made from marble, crystal, and precious metals, each one of a girl from a different species.
There was a human girl with African features, wearing a wispy white toga-like robe and pointing a golden rod into the far distance, from which one of the fountains spouts poured out. Her face and shoulders were painted brown, her coiled hair black, with a golden tiara-like crown set with green gems. More green gems were set into the hem of her robe.
The second was the simplest, but also very eye-catching. It was a round sphere of pink crystal, one studded with many smaller crystals of different colors. That was of a calliope, the first (and to date, only) alien that Gretchen had met. Supposedly they lived in a gaseous planet full of rainbow clouds and giant crystals constantly soaring through the air.
The next was of a short, squat creature that honestly looked like a cross between a bear and a frog. It (or, rather, she) only came up to waist-height to the human girl and had a hairy body covered with thin grey fur and a broad, almost flattened-looking head, with a very wide mouth, two deep-set eyes made from carved garnets; a mohawk-like tuft of hair made from strings of silver; and long, webbed fingers that ended in hooked claws. She was wearing what looked like a silver leotard with a gold cape hanging off one shoulder, and her hands were grasped around the handles of a curving blade of platinum, with two more fountains spouts pouring out each pointed tip. She was something known as a jott, a being that supposedly lived underground. Gretchen had yet to see one, but she very much wanted to.
She wasn't so sure about the fourth one though. The fourth statue was of a being that was entirely inhuman, and not in a cool or funny way like the calliopes. It was made of spun volcanic glass of a deep amber color, and was of a…thing, one with a small, spherical body with nine long, spindly arms, each one ending in three grasping fingers, which also served as water spouts. The eyeless head sat on a long, skinny stalk and looked bullet-shaped, but the grooves told Gretchen that it was more like a closed flower-blossom, with the mouth opening its rays in all directions. From what she had been told, it was a being known as an ai'jurrik'kai, a name that she still hadn't been able to pronounce. To be honest, they sort of frightened her, but people assured her that they were perfectly nice. Iris was really obsessed with them especially for some reason.
Those four species didn't represent all of the species contacted by the Incubators and thus consigned to the afterlife, of course. But from what Gretchen had heard, a large group of humans, calliopes, jotts, and ai'jurrik'kai had banded together a long time ago to form an organization called the New Life Alliance, of which Freehaven was one of the major cities. That sounded nice to Gretchen; she was all in favor of different peoples coming together and being friends. Though she still wasn't exactly clear on what they had come together to ally against.
They passed by the fountain and continued on through the park, until they reached the very end of the protected zone.
And there it was.
The Magi's Gifts Emporium lay glittering in the sun, the facets of its stained-glass walls and pyramidal roof making it sparkle as much as the treasures it held. Of all the wonders they had seen during their tour of the city, it was Freehaven's premier gift shop that Gretchen's mind returned the most to, of all of its beautiful wares and temptations.
The three of them came to a stop in front of the entrance and just stared.
"Well, there it is," Marty said.
"There it is," Gretchen agreed.
"And…we can just go in?"
"I, uh, don't see any reason why not," Ava said. "I mean, they said we could, right?"
"Yes, they did," Gretchen nodded. "So. There should be no problem, right?"
Nobody moved.
"So, why haven't we gone in yet?" Ava asked.
"Well…because the outside is just so pretty, that it's perfectly natural to want to admire it first!" Marty responded.
"Oh," Gretchen nodded. "Yes. That makes sense."
They admired it for a bit longer.
"Well, we have to go in sooner or later," Marty said at last. "So…on the count of three! One. Two…"
Before she got to "three," a very familiar belabored groan sounded from right behind them.
"Oh, for the love of everything, get out of my way!" Vendel snapped as she pushed her way past the trio.
Gretchen started. "Wait, how long where you standing behind us?"
"The whole time, waiting for you dorks to hurry up and go inside so I could go inside!" Vendel stormed in through the front door.
The three of them exchanged a look. Then Marty shrugged and went after Vendel, and Ava followed. Sighing, Gretchen followed them inside.
Though she had been in once already, Gretchen couldn't keep from gasping a little. The Magi's Gifts Emporium was no less breathtaking the second time, from the towering shelves of treasures to the colorful kites and banners hanging from the ceiling to the golden train still chugging merrily through its floating track.
This is wonderful! Gretchen thought as she took in the sight. The place literally glittered with treasure. It was like something out a fairy-tale, a magical store hidden away from humans, a place for spirits and fairies and elves and genies. Which, when she thought about it, it kinda of was.
Gretchen moved slowly through the aisles, gazing awestruck at the toy animals that looked and moved as if they were alive, the hovering silver bubbles that morphed and twisted like lumps of mercury, and the gem-studded mirrors that were able to zoom in or out and spin the view a full three-hundred and sixty degrees around whoever was using them. As her many wirelike legs had the same adhesive properties as a spider's, she didn't have any trouble climbing the shelves to view the merchandise in the upper levels, though the other customers didn't seem to have much difficulty either, using a series of handles and footholds to scamper upwards and around in a manner not dissimilar to monkeys. It was a wonder nothing was broken, though Gretchen supposed that there was some sort of magic at play.
Still, everything seemed just a little too expensive. But there had to be something here that Homulilly would like that Gretchen could afford.
As Gretchen admired a collection of self-tying ribbons, she became aware of music being played, music that stood out from the gentle melody that was playing over the store's speakers. Someone was playing a piano nearby, and was doing so very well, but they never got far into the song before stopping and letting someone else repeat the notes, this one still good but not as skilled as the first. Then the first person would take over, and the cycle would begin again.
Gretchen blinked. Was that what she thought it was?
She slowly followed the sound, the tips of her legs clicking against the black-and-white tiled floor. As she drew near, the piano playing stopped and she heard someone say, "Okay, that's good enough for today. I'll see you on Saturday. Remember to keep practicing!"
It was a music lesson, as Gretchen had figured. Someone was teaching somebody else how to play piano. Sure enough, as she rounded a corner, she saw the wall of exotic instruments. One corner was partitioned off, in which a keyboard was set up. A small, pale blue-haired girl was gathering her things and exchanging idle chat with her teacher, a girl around Gretchen's age (though many of the people she had met were) with short blue hair and eyes of the same color. She was wearing a white shirt and a brown jacket, and was putting on a brown newsgirl's cap.
It was her! It was the mermaid she had seen during the tour, still seated in her special mechanical chair, her colorful tail resting comfortably in its harness. And once again Gretchen immediately felt that wave of recognition as soon as she saw her face.
There was little doubt about it. She knew this girl.
The mermaid's student said goodbye and ran off. The mermaid finished packing up her own things into a pouch that hung over the side of her chair. Then the chair's legs rose up and started moving the mermaid out of her little alcove.
Realizing the opportunity she now had, Gretchen walked over to the mermaid and greeted her with a cheery, "Hi!"
The mermaid looked up at her and smiled. "Hey! Can I help you?"
Better play it cool and see if the mermaid recognized her too. Gretchen shook her head. "Uh, not really. I'm just sort of new here, and thought I'd check out the store when I heard you playing. I just wanted to let you know that you were really good."
The mermaid's smile grew. "Well, hey! Thanks!" Chuckling, she scratched the back of her neck. "Shucks, you're making me blush now. You said you're new in town?"
"Uh-huh," Gretchen said, nodding. "Well, new to everything, actually."
"Oooh, right, the uniform! Integration Bureau and all that?"
"Yup!" Keeping her voice casual, Gretchen studied the mermaid's face, looking for any sign of being recognized. "It's a lot to get used to, but I like it!"
"Yeah, I remember what that was like. Confusing times." Then the mermaid leaned forward and extended her hand. "Well then, hi there, and welcome to Freehaven! I'm Oktavia von Seckendorff, though feel free to forget the last part. Everyone always does. I teach music here, which is a big duh. Seeing how I was just teaching music. Also, this might come as something of a shock, but I'm a fish."
"I figured," Gretchen laughed, shaking Oktavia's hand. As she did, she felt a slight spark. "I'm Kriemhild Gretchen, though feel free to forget the first part. The second part's prettier anyway. And I'm a spider…octopus…thingy!"
"A what now?" Oktavia blinked. She glanced down at Gretchen's billowy skirt. Grinning, Gretchen raised it just enough to let her see the ends of her thin legs.
"Oh, I see!" Oktavia said, nodding. "Wow, those look useful!"
"They are!" Gretchen said proudly. "They're fast, and don't get tired easily, and I can walk on walls. Plus…" She gathered her legs tightly together, which gained her almost a meter of height.
"Wow," Oktavia said, staring. "Well, you've got me beat in the usefulness department. But then, almost everyone does. Bet I can outswim you though."
"You can probably outswim everyone," Gretchen said as she lowered back to her usual height. "And your tail's so pretty."
"You better believe it. They don't even let me enter any competitions, the biased-" Suddenly Oktavia cut herself off in mid-sentence. Her brow knitted together in a puzzled frown.
Gretchen felt a rush of excitement. There it was! "What is it?"
"Hey, this is gonna sound kinda crazy, but have we met?" Oktavia asked. "Because I swear I know you from somewhere. I just can't pin down where."
"Yes!" Dropping the façade, Gretchen happily took Oktavia's hand in hers. "I knew it from the first time I saw you! You recognize me, don't you?"
Oktavia still looked bewildered. "Wait, f-first time? What are you-" Suddenly her eyes widened. "Oh, wait! A few weeks ago, when the new class was visiting! I had this…weird sense of déjà vu…"
"Yup!" Gretchen said. "That was me! I heard you playing, and thought I would see if I had imagined it or not."
"Wow, weird." Oktavia frowned. "But, um, it's the same for you? We haven't actually met, but it feels like we have?"
"Yes, that's it" Gretchen said. "When I saw you, I felt like I knew you. It's like we met in…in a dream or something."
"Yeah. Kinda like that, I guess. Huh." Scratching her head, Oktavia tilted her head first to one side, and then the other. Then her face lit up. "Hey, I got it!"
"What?"
"Maybe we were friends! You know, before."
Gretchen grinned. "That's what I was thinking! You think it might be that too?"
"Heck if I know for sure," Oktavia shrugged. "Kinda hard to check and all. But it makes sense, doesn't it? I mean, we're both about the same age, both Japanese, both wound up in Freehaven, so I'm willing to bet you spawned pretty close by."
"I did," Gretchen nodded.
"Right! So did I, so that means the places we…uh…" Oktavia suddenly looked embarrassed, as if she had almost stumbled into a faux pas.
"Died?" Gretchen suggested.
Oktavia sighed. "Uh, yeah. That." She coughed awkwardly into her fist. "But yeah! And given the time difference, we were probably alive around the same time, so it's definitely possible!"
This was going wonderfully. "I think it could have been that," Gretchen said. "Actually, I'm sure it was!"
…
When Homulilly left Dr. Cynthia's office, she felt…well, not exactly better, per se. Actually, she was even more emotionally raw than when she had gone in. But she did leave with something of a renewed sense of focus, as well as a new feeling of perspective.
She still didn't like the idea of talking to other people, nor was she anywhere near being able to let anyone other than Gretchen and maybe Dr. Cynthia touch, see, or even get near her arms, but she at least knew that she wasn't alone in her fears. Maybe she would be able to find a way to cope.
As she stepped out into the hallway, a passing caretaker noticed her. "Ah, hello, Homulilly!"
Homulilly instinctively froze up. But then, something Dr. Cynthia had said to her popped into her mind.
You can't force confidence, the motorcycle witch said. But you can fake it. Most people do. Just about every cool and confident person you know is faking it. They're usually as scared as you are, but they learned how to act confident. And sometimes, if you do it enough, you can actually trick yourself into actually becoming confident. Fake it until you make it.
That…sounded really off to Homulilly, and she had some serious doubts as to its effectiveness. Still, Dr. Cynthia did sound like she knew what she was talking about. So, forcing what was probably a really fake-looking smile and making a conscious effort not to hide her arms, Homulilly said, "Uh, h-hello! How are you?"
Oh, her voice was too loud. It had to be too loud. She was already screwing it up.
Fortunately, the caretaker didn't so much as blink. "Your friend Gretchen asked us to give you a message."
What? Homulilly felt panic start to well up. What message? What was wrong?
"She said that she, Marty, and Ava went to the Magi's Gifts Emporium, and in case you got out before they got back, then they'll be back by two."
Homulilly stared bleakly at her. What? Gretchen had gone somewhere without her? As soon as Homulilly had been tied up with something else, Gretchen had sought out other people and got away? Gretchen was replacing her, Gretchen was-
"She also was very insistent that I assure you that she was looking forward to hanging out with you today, and not to worry. And that she hopes your session went well."
Homulilly sighed. Wow, was she really that predictable? "Thank you for telling me," she said. The caretaker nodded and went on her way.
Taking the time to employ a few breathing exercises she had learned, Homulilly slowed her breath and brought her thundering heartbeat (heartbeat. Why did she have a heartbeat if she was dead?) under control. Breathe in through nose for five seconds. Hold it for three. Then out through mouth for eight. Breathe in through nose for five seconds…
When she felt that she had regained enough control, Homulilly checked the time. To her dismay, it was only 1:44, which meant more than fifteen minutes before Gretchen got back! And that was practically twenty minutes, which was only a short time away from half-an-hour, and once you hit half-an-hour, you might as well go for the full hour alone because-
No! No, it wasn't! It was only about fifteen minutes! That was just five minutes, then another five minutes, and then a third five minutes! She could hold on for that long!
But even so, it was still longer to spend alone than she'd like, even if it was in their apartment.
Maybe…maybe I could go meet her! Homulilly thought. Yeah, that's something a confident person would do. Just sitting alone getting all anxious would be the sort of thing a scared little girl would do, but if I went to meet her, then I'd get to see her sooner and I'd look confident!
Bolstered by the thought, Homulilly actually found herself doing something that she never thought that she'd do: leave the FIB on her own. She checked out with the front receptionist and walked right out of the facility, and if anyone could see her, then they'd never guess what a big thing this was for her to do.
In fact, she felt so bolstered that she got more than halfway down to the park when she suddenly realized that suddenly showing up when Gretchen was out with friends would be imposing, and just make her seem even clingier.
Homulilly promptly swiveled on her heel to go back the other way.
But she was most of the way there, and if she showed up and kept out of the way, then Gretchen wouldn't have to cut her shopping date short just to see her!
Homulilly turned back around again.
But what if she had another panic attack in the middle of the store? That would just ruin everything for everyone!
Homulilly turned back toward the FIB.
No! She couldn't keep doing this! She had to make a choice!
Maybe…I could go halfway! You know, just hang out in the park. If Gretchen's at the Emporium, then she has to go through the park to go back. So I could make it seem like I just so happened to be there!
Yeah. Yeah, that could work.
Before she could change her mind again, Homulilly made herself go the rest of the way.
Fortunately, nobody paid her any mind. She wasn't even the only FIB student there, as she saw more than a few girls wearing the same uniform as she milling about. She didn't know any of them, as they were from other years, but at least she wouldn't stand out.
Homulilly went up to the fountain and was relieved to find the bench facing the Emporium empty. There weren't many people nearby, thank goodness, though another girl was sitting slouched in another nearby bench, her arms flung over the bench's back and armrests, her face covered by a wide-brimmed hat to shield it from the sun. She seemed to be fast asleep. Homulilly glanced only briefly at her, only to do a double-take. Had she seen that girl before? Something about her outfit was ringing a bell. Oh well.
As she waited for Gretchen to show up, Homulilly glanced about at the people she was sharing the park with. Everyone seemed to be about her age: some a little older, some a little younger. It was somewhat disconcerting in a way, considering that they were all dead. She wondered what sort of people they had been, before their deaths. She wondered what sort of wishes they had made, and how many would take them back if given the opportunity. She wondered what her own wish had been, but that knowledge was lost to her. She didn't even have her old name.
Though maybe that was a blessing. Apparently, those who had not become witches had a harder time adjusting, given that they knew exactly what they had lost. Many of them missed their families and their friends and felt cheated out of whatever life they might have had. Many continued to deal with the lingering trauma of their own deaths and all that had lead up to them. Homulilly wondered if she truly wanted to regain knowledge of her former self, of the girl whose body she had supplanted, and found that she wasn't sure.
Still, who had she been? Who was her family? Had they even noticed that she was gone? What about Gretchen? Had they known each other before, or had they simply been two witches that had coincidentally crossed each other's paths? Homulilly was fairly certain that that wasn't the case, that she and Gretchen's former selves had been close. She just wished that she knew how.
It's not fair, she thought as her hands curled up into fists. She sniffed. Those Incubators. They took everything from us. It's not fair, it's not-
And then she heard the flapping of wings, and something heavy landed on her head, directly on top of her spider-lily.
Homulilly froze in shock. And then a beaked face of a scarlet macaw came down in front of her to stare her in the eye, mere centimeters from her nose.
"Get the phone, asshole!" the bird squawked.
"AH!" Homulilly cried. She tried to shoo the parrot off her head. Distressed, it flapped its wings and dug in with its talons, gripping tight.
Then she heard someone laugh. "Sorry, sorry! Cheese, get over here!"
Squawking irritably, Cheese the parrot flew off of Homulilly's head and over to the other bench, where its sleeping occupant was now stirring. Like Homulilly, she seemed to be of Japanese descent and was of a similar age, though that was where the similarities ended. Her outfit was devoted to the color red: red boots, red slacks, a button-down pink shirt, red vest, red tie, and a red blazer that was worn loosely around her shoulders. Her hat, which she was now pushing up her head, was red as well, though a sprig of rosemary adorned with small violet blossoms was stuck into the band, and a tiny blue jewel shaped like a crescent moon was pinned to her tie. In the proper setting her outfit might have looked rather classy. Here, it was on the border between outrageous and tacky, though its wearer didn't seem to care.
What was more, Homulilly realized with a shock that she had seen this girl before, and that bird. It was the same girl she had seen slouching around on the rooftop, way back during the tour. What was more, she was pretty sure that the parrot had been the same one that had screamed obscenities at them during their first tour of the FIB gardens.
"Sorry about that," the girl said. She held out her arm, and Cheese lighted on her elbow. "It was that flower on your head. He liked the color red. Can't imagine why."
"Oh," Homulilly said. She reflexively lifted a hand to touch it. "Th-that's okay."
Smirking, the girl turned her attention to the parrot. "Cheese, the hell do you think you're doing?" she scolded, taking the parrot by the beak and playfully moving his head back and forth. "Scaring the poor girl. You know better than that!"
"Dickhead!" Cheese declared as he climbed up her shoulder and hopped onto her hat, where he sat like a conqueror upon a pile of skulls. "Dickhead!"
"That's right, you are. Little feathered jerk." Shaking her head, the girl sighed and turned to Homulilly. "Yeah, guy's a real snot. Filthy mouth too." She chuckled and then looked over to Homulilly. The laughter stopped and her face froze.
Oh no, here it comes, Homulilly thought, her apprehension growing. She's going to say something. She knows about the gloves, she knows-
"Hey," the red-clad girl said. "Do I know you from somewhere?"
Homulilly blinked. Okay, so that hadn't exactly been the reaction she had been expecting. "Exc-cuse me?"
"I know you from somewhere." Snapping her fingers to jog her memory, the red-clad girl stood up and walked over to Homulilly. Despite the motion, the parrot didn't seem to a problem keeping his balance. "I swear we've met before."
"Um, I don't think so," Homulilly said. To her surprise, she was more mystified than embarrassed by the attention. "I'm sort of new, so I don't think-"
She stopped talking and frowned. Wait, there it was again, that strange feeling of recognition, the same she had gotten when she had just glimpsed the red girl from across rooftops. Now that the girl was nearer and she got a good look at her face, it was even stronger, something that she couldn't really put her finger on but also couldn't ignore. Unsurprisingly, the girl's eyes and eyebrows were as red as her outfit. However, she couldn't say the same about her hair, because she didn't have any. Even with the hat she was wearing, it was clear that the top of the red-clad girl's head was completely bare. Homulilly was fairly certain that she had yet to run into anyone bald, but there was still something there.
"Actually, now that you mention it, you do seem sort of familiar," she said, squinting one eye.
"I know, right?" The girl studied Homulilly's face for a bit longer, trying to pick out where that bit of recognition came from. Then she shrugged. "Ah well. You said you're new, right? Like, new to Freehaven, or new to everything?"
"Both," Homulilly admitted.
The girl grinned. "Well, hey. I sort of have an idea what that's like." She stuck out her hand. "Yo, welcome to our fair yet bizarre city. Name's Ophelia. And before you ask, yes, like the crazy girl from the play."
…
Suddenly, it occurred to Gretchen that as awesome as reuniting with a possible long-lost friend was, she had another actual friend waiting for her.
"Oh no!" she exclaimed, hastily checking the time. It was 1:54. "I promised roommate that I'd be back by two!"
"Oh, she's the girl you're a Walpurgisnacht with?" Oktavia said.
Gretchen nodded.
"Well, let's go then! I'm supposed to meet my girlfriend in park anyway, so I can walk you at least part of the way."
Even though the mechanical legs of Oktavia's chair were plainly visible, the thought of being walked anywhere by a mermaid was so strange and so cool that Gretchen found that she couldn't wipe the goofy smile off her face.
"Okay," she said. "Hang on! Let me tell my other friends where I'm going!"
She hastily looked around until she found Marty and Ava perusing a collection of small china figurines. "Hey, I gotta head back," she said. "See you later?"
Marty shot her a look. "Did we see you talking to the mermaid?"
"Yup!"
Ava sighed. "Leave it to Gretchen to make friends with the only mermaid as soon as she sees her. Lucky." She shook her head. "Okay, see you later!"
Gretchen wondered how Oktavia was going to maneuver her chair through the shelves, given that it seemed a little too wide. Fortunately she didn't have to, as there was an employee backdoor close to where she had been teaching music, one wide enough for her and Gretchen to slip through with ease.
They continued talking as they went.
"It's not like this is the first time this has happened," Oktavia explained as she and Gretchen headed together through the streets. "But the other time we at least knew why."
Gretchen nodded. "Okay, why was it?"
"I'm part of a Walpurgisnacht," Oktavia shrugged. "Do, uh, you know what that is?"
As a matter of fact, Gretchen did. "Yup! I'm actually part of one too."
Oktavia blinked in surprise. "Get out. Are you serious?"
"Completely," Gretchen said with a grin. "Small one though. Just me and Lilly-chan."
"Ah, the one you have to go meet? But you know what I mean then, right? Like, when you first saw her, you had no idea who she was, but you still knew that you knew her, like there was this weird connection between you."
"I know exactly what you mean," Gretchen said solemnly. Her hand instinctively to her heart. "It was…it was like there was something pulling me to her, a thread connecting our destinies together and entwining our souls."
Oktavia's chair stopped marching long enough for the mermaid to give her a weird, sidelong look. "Ooookaaaay, that's way more romantic than I would have put it, but hey! It's kinda true."
Gretchen giggled. "Sorry. I actually didn't come up with that. One of the other girls from our therapy group really likes sounding poetical, and that's the way she said it. How big is your Walpurgisnacht?"
"Four people, including myself," Oktavia told her, holding up the appropriate number of fingers. "There's also my girlfriend Ophelia, who we're going to meet, and Candeloro and Charlotte. They're a couple too. Got married a few years ago."
"That's adorable!" Gretchen said with a wide grin.
"Yeah, it's a pretty cool." The two of them reached Mayboyer Park, and pebbly cobblestones were replaced by smooth concrete. Gretchen appreciated the change, as it was easier on her legs. "The four of us share a house over in…Uh, you've never been to Ladoga, have you?"
Gretchen shook her head. "No."
"Oh." Oktavia shrugged. "Well, it's the street we live on, over near the southern cliff. It's really pretty, nice view of the ocean. Oh, there's Ophelia!"
Oktavia pointed toward the fountain in the park's center. A girl wearing a very flashy red outfit was slouching with her legs crossed in one of the benches, a large, red parrot sitting on her shoulder.
And Homulilly was sitting next to her.
Gretchen blinked in surprise. The two girls were sharing a bag of cookies and chatting. Homulilly was talking to somebody. What was more, she was smiling as well. Gretchen had only seen her smile, an actual genuine smile instead of the fake one she sometimes wore to be brave, when they were alone.
Homulilly…had gone out on her own. And she was talking to someone. Of her own free will. And she was having fun doing so!
A small smile of her own tugged at Gretchen's lips. She had known Homulilly could do it, though admittedly she hadn't expected the first person that she would warm up to would look quite that…flamboyant.
"And…I don't know that other girl," Oktavia said, sounding a little confused.
"That's Homulilly!" Gretchen said happily.
"Wait, the one you were talking about? Oh." Oktavia's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Well. What are the odds?"
As they approached, Ophelia looked up and grinned when she saw them. "Hey, speak of the devil," she said, standing up. "'Sup, Tavi? I made a friend, and looks like you did too. Wanna share?"
Homulilly blinked. "G-Gretchen-chan? Is that…is that the mermaid?"
"Hi, Lilly-chan!" Gretchen said, rushing over to give her a warm hug. "I'm sorry I'm late. And yes, Oktavia-chan is the mermaid! Also, I think we were right! We used to know her."
"O-oh, did we?" Homulilly's face reddened slightly as she gently returned the embrace.
As Ophelia and Oktavia watched the exchange, Ophelia tilted her head to one side and put her hands on her hips. "Huh. Affectionate, ain't they?"
"Yeah, well, you could learn a thing or two from them," Oktavia accused, elbowing Ophelia in the side.
"Hey, are you saying I'm not romantic? Because I'm totally romantic! Watch."
"What?" Gretchen looked over to them in bewilderment. Then, catching on, her face turned red as well. "Oh, wait! We-we're not, I mean it's not like that, Lilly-chan and I are just-"
Ophelia swooped down to plant a big, fat kiss on Oktavia's lips, complete with exaggerated smacking sounds. Startled, the parrot on her shoulder start flapping his wings while screeching protests. Gretchen and Homulilly were struck speechless.
"So, how's that for romantic?" Ophelia smirked as she drew back.
Oktavia stared up at her. Then, taking a deep breath, she said, "I swear to God, the next time we go anywhere near water, I'm going to scalp you, and then I'm going to snuff you."
"Mmmm, you always know just what to say, you big charmer." Turning to the two dumbstruck girls, Ophelia said, "So…you must be Gretchen. Hi, I'm Ophelia, the wonderful person I'm sure Blue Tuna here was telling you about, and the parrot's name is Cheese. Don't ask, our friend Charlotte won the rights to name him. And Homulilly, this is Oktavia, the smelly fishy I was just telling you about. She's mah baby girl-"
"Aaannnnd you're done," Oktavia snapped, her hand snapping up to grab Ophelia by the ear. To Gretchen and Ophelia, she said, "I'm sorry, this happens every time I take her out into public."
"Gerroff my ear!" Ophelia snarled as she yanked her head away. "You trying to twist the whole thing off?"
Cheese then declared, "Bend that bitch over and-"
"Whoa, okay, that's enough of you!" Ophelia exclaimed as she quickly covered the parrot's face with her hand. "Jeez, out of the all things for you to pick up!"
Her face buried in her left hand, Oktavia held out her right. "Ophelia. Give me the bird. Just give me the bird."
"Here, take him, gag him," Ophelia said, quickly divesting herself of her foulmouthed fowl. Then, noticing the slack-jawed stares they were getting, she cringed and explained. "Uh, it's not what you think. We ordered the Pay Per View, and I was trash talking, and for some inexplicable reason, that's all he ever mimics."
"Oh," was all Homulilly had to say. "Okay."
"So yeah!" Ophelia said hastily. "Nice to meet you guys! And hey, you we're all on the same page on the weird déjà vu vibes, right?"
Gretchen giggled. "Yes, we noticed it too."
"Big time," Oktavia said, feeding the Cheese a slice of apple from a plastic baggie to keep him quiet. "We think we might have all known each other back in our past life."
"Huh, could be, could be," Ophelia said as she rubbed her jaw and studied Gretchen's face. "You seem real familiar too. Not sure what part though. Definitely not those skittery things you've got down there. The eyes, maybe."
Gretchen nodded. Though she was absolutely certain that she had never, ever met Ophelia before in this life, there was something about her eyes and her voice, not to mention the way she carried herself. Every time she or Oktavia smiled, Gretchen kept seeing a flash in her mind, a muddled picture of something that was achingly familiar. But she just couldn't pin it down.
"You feel it too, don't you?" she whispered into Homulilly's ear. Homulilly nodded.
"Huh. Well, that's worth pursuing then," Oktavia said. Then she brightened. "Well hey, are you guys free next Friday night?"
"Friday?" Homulilly glanced over to Gretchen. "Well, I-"
"Absolutely!" Gretchen said enthusiastically.
"Great! You want to come over for dinner? Fun times will be had, and we can use Candeloro and Charlotte as our control group."
"What, not tell them?" Ophelia said.
"Well, obviously we're going to tell them that they're coming over!" Oktavia responded with a roll of her eyes. "Just not about the weird connection thing. Watch their reactions and all that."
"Come over for dinner? That's so nice of you! We'd-" Then Gretchen looked over to Homulilly. "Uh, you're okay with this, right Lilly-chan?"
"Okay with it?" Oktavia frowned in confusion. "Why wouldn't she be-" Ophelia flicked her in the temple. "Ow!"
"No pressure," Ophelia immediately offered.
Biting her lower lip, Homulilly looked down at the ground as she thought. The other three waited in anticipation.
Then, taking a deep, calming breath, Homulilly said, "Of…of course. We'd love to go."
"Sweet!" Ophelia grinned. She reached into her bag and tossed both Homulilly and Gretchen a candy bar "It's settled then!"
After exchanging contact information, Ophelia said, "So yeah. We'll give you guys a call…or rather, we'll give your supervisor a call, who will then give you a call, or knock on your door-"
"I think they get it," Oktavia said dryly.
"Just covering my bases. But yeah, contacting will totally be made." Ophelia flicked off a quick salute. "So, be seeing you guys!"
"Goodbye," Homulilly said softly.
"Bye!" Gretchen added with more enthusiasm. "It was nice to meet you! Or…nice to see you again, I guess."
"We'll hammer that part out later," Oktavia said as she turned her chair around. As she did so, Ophelia took the opportunity to leap onto its back like a dogsledder, grabbing onto the handlebars while planting her feet onto a small platform that jutted out from the bottom.
"All right, mush!" she cried as the chair started marching away.
"Get off," Oktavia said, reaching back to shove Ophelia off of her perch. "You've got legs! Use them!"
"Punkass, whiny losers!" Cheese screeched before Ophelia shoved an apple slice into his mouth.
"Wow," Gretchen said as she and Homulilly watched the pair head into the streets. "They were something, weren't they Lilly-chan?"
"They…definitely were," Homulilly agreed. "But they seemed…friendly."
Gretchen smiled as she took Homulilly's hand. "And you made friends with someone! I'm proud of you!"
"Th-thanks," Homulilly said with a smile of her own. They entwined fingers and walked hand-in-hand back home.
However, as they made their way under the trees, Gretchen found her mind drifting to something else entirely. When Oktavia and Ophelia had made certain presumptions about the relationship she had with Homulilly, she had been quick to deny it, claiming that the two of them were just best friends. And it was true, they were, but now that she was giving it some thought, maybe she had spoken too hastily. While they weren't in any sort of official relationship, maybe it wasn't a possibility that should be brushed off.
She glanced over to Homulilly, who was lost in thoughts of her own. She really was beautiful, with her ethereal looks and regal bearing that always clashed cutely with her shyness. And Gretchen did love her dearly, but she wasn't sure if her feelings were really of that sort. She wasn't even sure if she liked girls in that way. She hadn't met any that she felt especially attracted to in that sense, though to be fair she had been so busy to really think about such things, and there weren't any boys around to help make the comparison.
Still…
For all their bickering, Oktavia and Ophelia were obviously in love and very comfortable with it. And watching them interact had been…okay, so they were a little crude, but even so, Gretchen had liked it. It was cute, and they just worked well with one another. And, well, she and Homulilly had met in much the same way, and they got along very well too. So maybe, they could become…
Well, it was something to think about.