A/N: Please note that I've updated the rating to M due to the fact Aiko has been raised by violent nuke-nins that rubbed off far too well and the introduction of Hidan. Enough said.
Part II: Akatsuki's Equal
Chapter Eighteen - Kakuzu's Partner
"What are we doing here?" a girl whined, eying up the beast of a man next to her who remained silent until a paper note floated up to his eyeline, causing his arm to strike like a viper and pocket it.
"We are replacing my newly deceased partner," the money-grabber explained, green eyes growing with his greed.
The girl frowned, pushing back the strands of her thin lavender fringe, the tips dyed a bright orange, before several spiked strands began to rebel and take their rightful place at her temples.
"Wait, 'newly-deceased'? Didn't that guy die, like, five years ago?" Aiko questioned before her lips twitched in amusement, turning to Kakuzu with sparkling blue eyes as she cupped her fists to her chest. "Am I not good enough to be your partner, Kakuzu-sensei? Don't you like me any more?"
"I never liked you," Kakuzu stated, arm snapping at the second paper note to be presented to him, "but you have your perks. As to your comment, that was my third partner. I killed my fourth only recently."
"Oh," she scratched her head, only recalling the faceless body that she occasionally directed killing intent at, "well, at least I didn't have to learn this one's name."
"Did you know any of their names?"
Aiko opened her mouth to protest, finding her finger hovering mid-air.
"Never mind that."
They came upon a massacre, several bodies lying mutilated on the ground. Following the dead like breadcrumbs, it was not long before they found the young man responsible. He stood before them, maniacal laughter ringing out with outstretched hands, one of them holding a triple-bladed scythe. Despite the fact he was shirtless, Aiko found herself unable to appreciate his form due to the blood running down his body like a river, soaking into his maroon trousers. He was surrounded by five shinobi, positioned like a five point seal with him at their centre, stood within a circle with a triangle at his feet.
"Now die, fuckers!" the man cried, delivering himself a fatal wound.
"Well that one didn't last long, did he?" Aiko sighed, promptly turning back around with mutters about this being 'a waste of her time'.
Her eyes flashed to the side as she detected a hostile presence, her paper sword 'Kirie' forming in her hand before shoving it through the seemingly live man's chest.
"Well, would you look at that," Aiko grinned from ear-to-ear, disappearing in a flurry of paper as he swept at her with his scythe.
"Who the fuck are you?" the man questioned, watching as she reappeared next to the man she had arrived with before lifting his voice to indicate the sword through his chest, "and do you realise how much this fucking hurts?"
"We are Akatsuki," she announced, enjoying how his eyes flicked to her black cloak emblazoned with red clouds that she had wrapped around her waist, tied by its arms, to wear it like a custom skirt.
His purple eyes moved from the cloak, across her black karate top, to her eyes, which gleamed, despite the sea of bodies that were at her feet.
"So, fucking, what?" he challenged, leaning on his scythe.
Aiko stepped over the nearest body in her black shinobi sandals, careful not to get blood on her grey-blue leggings.
"Mm, I'm not sure, Kakuzu-sensei," she drawled, eyes fixed on the grey-haired man as she weaved through the corpses, "do we really want a Shinigami reject?"
"The fucking Shinigami has nothing to do with it," he growled. "I sacrifice the cursed to honour the mighty Jashin."
"Oh, so… you and Jashin?" she inquired, letting her question hang in the air with a raised eyebrow.
"Yeah."
"Figures," Aiko sighed, "totally gay."
The man spluttered.
"I am not gay!"
"Bisexual?"
"Bi-what?"
"Boys and girls."
"I don't fucking care!" the man roared.
"Of course, it's what's on the inside that counts," Aiko nodded.
"Shit-faced girl. I will rip out your organs and show you what's on the inside," he threatened, lifting his scythe in preparation for battle.
"Good," she grinned, hand outstretched to reform her paper blade, "because if you survive this, I might even bother to learn your name."
Deidara's greeting caught on his lips as Aiko wondered back into the base, dripping blood and holding a severed head in her arms. Behind her, Kakuzu followed, dumping his arm-load of dismembered body parts on the table.
"Dei, can you help us with this?" she asked, tossing the head up and down like a ball in the palm of her hand, making Deidara realise the head was emitting muffled curses due to the scratched Yugakure hitai-ate wrapped around its mouth.
"What am I helping with exactly?" the blonde frowned.
"Think of it like a jigsaw," she said in explanation, holding up what was either a neck, or a slice of thigh as she tried shoving it onto the head.
Several rather amusing cases of mistaken body parts later (and one that caused Aiko to turn bright red before throwing what she assumed was a swollen finger back on the table with a screech) they were finally left with what resembled a squirming human that had been made whole by Kakuzu's threads.
"Deidara, meet Hidan," Aiko introduced the pair as the man finally gained control over his limbs to rip the hitai-ate from his mouth, "Kakuzu's new partner."
"You are one sick bitch," Hidan proclaimed in a tone somewhere between anger and begrudged respect.
Deidara stepped in front of the now-blushing girl, puffing up his chest slightly.
"So, Kakuzu's partner-"
"Hidan," the girl repeated from behind, causing the bomber's blue eyes to widen.
"What?" he gaped.
"That's my name, douchebag," Hidan scoffed, folding his arms across his bare chest.
"Why are you calling him by his name, un?" he questioned the girl, blue eyes searching her own as if he suspected she was an imposter.
"Looks like this one might be sticking around a while," she shrugged, indicating the green-eyed monster observing them. "Even Kakuzu couldn't kill him after I said I would give him 100,000 ryo for the pleasure."
"Does Leader-sama know about this?" Deidara questioned, pointing a finger at the shirtless potty-mouth.
"Of course he does." Aiko rolled her eyes, jabbing a finger on the boy's chest with a playful smirk. "There's no need to be jealous, Dei. He's gay."
"I am not fucking gay!" Hidan huffed.
Deidara smirked.
"Riggght, sorry. He's bisexual."
Deidara's smirk dropped.
"I'll fucking show you," Hidan threatened, taking a step forward as Deidara reflected the movement in Aiko's defence.
What he didn't expect was for Hidan to sweep him off his feet and slam his lips against his own, ignorant to Deidara crushing his ribcage. In the end, the kiss was cut off in a volatile explosion. Ignoring the fact that Deidara was dry heaving, Hidan smirked at the wide-eyed girl who was stunned into silence… before she burst out into laughter, clutching her stomach as tears leaked down her face.
"What's so funny?" Hidan questioned the girl who could only babble nonsense through rasping breaths.
"Why did you kiss me, un?" Deidara spat, his deathly aura filling the room, causing Aiko to choke on her laughter.
"I wasn't gonna kiss her," Hidan yelled, jabbing a finger in Aiko's direction.
"Why not?" Aiko pouted, puffing out her cheeks and wrapping a hand around her forearm. "I thought I was pretty cute."
"I have morals, bitch," Hidan scoffed, "come see me when you're fucking eighteen."
Aiko blinked back the knowledge that deep under his misogynist tendencies, Hidan had morals.
"Again, un," Deidara growled, hand-mouths furiously chomping on clay, "why did you kiss me?"
"To show this shit-face I'm only interested in women," Hidan proclaimed smugly.
Aiko's laughter just started all over again.
"The hell is so funny?" Hidan shouted at the top of his lungs.
"H-h-he," Aiko stammered through her fingers, "he's a GUY! All you proved was that- was that-"
Hidan blinked at the girl, purple eyes flicking to a murderous Deidara before turning back to her with the very original proclamation of, "fuck."
"It's an insult," Hidan scowled, attempting to throw the paper doll in Aiko's face to find it floating to the ground like a feather.
"I'm fifteen," she sighed whilst flicking through the Bingo Book, "I don't make paper dolls anymore."
"Everyone else in this damn organisation has a cloak," Hidan paused gesturing to the cloak they both had wrapped around their waists, "a ring," he grabbed her left hand with the ring on it and slammed the paper doll with a giant red cross into it, "and a fucking paper doll. You even gave this fucker one."
Hidan indicated his partner, who stood behind him, watching him with glowing green eyes. Aiko's eyebrow twitched, closing the Bingo Book with a snap and looking at the paper doll that had always symbolised Kakuzu's partner. Ever so slowly, looking Hidan dead in the eye, she ripped it up into tiny pieces before throwing them over him like confetti.
"There," she proclaimed, watching in an amused manner as he blew at a stray paper chunk that had landed on his upper lip, "now it looks just like you from when we first met."
"Ha, fucking, ha."
Aiko snorted, her lips slowly tugging upward as a plan began to form in her mind. With loud ripping noises, she began tearing out pages of the Bingo Book. The pages began to swirl around the room, commanded by the girl who now stood on the sofa, finding the paper folding and taking shape until one paper doll with purple eyes and grey hair emerged, his bare-chest showing due to his paper cloak being around his waist with a three-pronged scythe in his grip.
"Finally," Hidan smirked, reaching out to take the doll.
However, Aiko had other plans for the doll, watching with glee as Deidara came running in the room, his own doll floating in the wind whilst the boy tried to snatch it back. It was then that Aiko dropped from standing on the sofa, crossing her legs to sit back and enjoy the show, watching with amusement as the two dolls entwined around each other.
"Once upon a time, there was a boy named Hidan," she began, crafting a stage, similar to a puppeteer's box, for her show to take place. "Hidan was a Prince from a land far from the Elemental Nations, who despite living in a grand castle-"
"Damn right," Hidan approved, watching his paper doll stand amongst the castle-like construction that was built on the stage with a smug expression.
"-felt as if he was living in a closet."
"Fuck you!" Hidan yelped preparing his scythe to cut the puppeteer box in two.
The scene shifted to one of floating paper clouds, with Deidara's paper doll flying on his bird.
"Deidara had heard of Prince Hidan's plight and, since he was noble of heart, decided to rescue him from his deep denial."
It was here the castle was reformed, both Hidan and Deidara's paper dolls tentatively moving towards each other whilst Aiko's eyes gleamed.
"That was when an evil witch rose up from the ground and killed Hidan," Deidara cut in, having crafted a doll of clay which had lavender hair that lifted its arms to chuck a wad of clay at the Hidan doll to burn a hole in it's chest. "The End."
"Like that would kill me. I'll show you," Hidan added, jumping on top of the puppeteer's box, dangling something from a string into the scene, making the group squint at the…
"What the hell is that, un?" Deidara frowned, looking towards the…
"Is that a…" Aiko cut off, not knowing how to complete that sentence.
"It's Jashin, duh," Hidan scoffed, dangling a picture of a…
"Jashin's an octopus?" Aiko blinked, only slightly more confident than her previous statement about the child-like drawing.
"It's abstract, un," Deidara nodded knowingly.
"It's Jashin, and Jashin in his fucking Godly powers proclaimed Hidan his earthly servant who cursed Deidara and the bitch because he wasn't in a fucking closet and wanted them dead," Hidan concluded.
"But Tobi saved the day," a bright voice chirped as a swirling orange mask appeared within the scene as if it was shifting through the back of the box.
Four sets of eyes blinked at the sudden appearance of the figure in the orange mask, watching as he grabbed the clay witch and Deidara doll to make them walk alongside each other with a gleeful 'la, la, la, la-lah'.
"Who the fuck is this?" Hidan yelled, making Tobi slap his palms to his ears.
"YOU SAID A BAD WORD!" he shouted, before giggling and clutching his stomach as Hidan's scythe cut through his stomach, seemingly not bothering him at all. "That tickles!"
"Kakuzu?" Aiko frowned, crafting her paper sword, whilst Deidara stood at her side, already shaping his clay as they awaited his orders.
"Kill it."
A/N: So excited to be posting Part II, and I'm glad Arclight001 is excited too :D Posting will (fingers crossed) take place on Fridays, but since it's Christmas tomorrow, I thought I'd give you an early present. Merry Christmas to one and all!
P.S - I haven't wrote any omakes or anything for Part II, so if you have any ideas or scenes you want to see, just let me know! I might get inspired!