She is floating on her back gently, a moment of silence at sea just before a wave comes crashing in. She is falling, or sinking, a feather on the wind or a piece of gently drifting wood. It's peaceful. She could stay here forever, drifting, gently rocked by non-existent waves, sleeping but not sleeping at the same time.
"Hamuko," says a voice from nearby. "You need to open your eyes."
She knows that voice.
Her eyes snap open to meet crystal blue ones. Blue eyes, yellow scarf, the unsettling feeling of a being that should not be. He smiles when he sees her eyes are open and leans back a little from where he is standing over her.
Fortune. Rank 10. MAX.
Unlike the last times, she knows who this is immediately.
"Ryoji," she says softly, afraid of disturbing the peaceful silence. "Where are we?"
He offers her his hand and helps her stand up. Her feet stand steady, but it still feels like she's floating. She takes a moment to gather her bearings and convince her brain that they're on solid ground, or at least some approximation of it. "We aren't anywhere," he says when she's finished. "Or we might be everywhere. I guess it doesn't matter either way, huh?"
She takes this as the correct answer, though it wasn't really an answer at all. Ryoji would know better than her, anyway. "And why are we here?"
He ponders this for a moment, motioning for her to walk with him. She does, noting that – at least for the time being – she is back in her Gekkoukan uniform. She can't quite get a grasp on her surroundings, although she knows she isn't meant to. It feels as if they might be walking through Iwatodai, buildings morphing in her peripheral as they walk, but it also feels as if the entire space is empty. Wherever they are, it clearly is not meant to be perceivable.
"I belong here," he says eventually. "You're just. . . passing through, I guess. You'll wake up eventually."
They walk in silence for a while. To where, she's not sure, but she can feel that there is a destination. The glimpses of Iwatodai in the corners of her eyes are familiar. They have to be heading somewhere in particular.
"I've been watching, you know," Ryoji continues eventually. "Since you went down there, and before that too. Humanity is so interesting. . ."
This stops Hamuko in her tracks. He's been watching, huh? He might have some explanations for her. "Do you know why I lost my memories?"
He hums and motions for her to keep walking. "Divine intervention, the stress of being thrown back into your body after several years, something about the Seal? Hard to say. Yaldobaoth didn't want you to gain them back, though. It's been pretty hard to communicate."
"Communicate?"
"You're memories. On your own. . . the process would've been much slower."
"That was you?"
"You recognized the Velvet Room on your own; I just had to pry. We're connected, Hamuko. That will never be un-done."
Her headache is back. Should she even be able to feel headaches in this place? Weren't the headaches connected to her memories? Why would she be feeling them now? "Do you know how I was freed?"
"I'm not sure," he says. "But I think. . . Minato must have completed the circle. Only one of you sacrificed yourself, but all three of us are connected."
Minato completed the circle?
. . . He had set out to do something, she remembers Mitsuru telling her. Without explaining to the others exactly what he was going to do, and without leaving a way for him to be contacted. 'Completing the circle' – she had sacrificed herself, before. Despite his promise to her, is that what he intended to do? Replace her sacrifice with his own?
It would make sense.
But then. . .
"Why did that work?" she asks out loud, unintentionally.
"I'm not sure," Ryoji answers. "He shouldn't have been able to."
"But he did."
"Yes. And now you are human again."
Briefly, she worries that Minato successfully took her place, and that's how she was returned to her body. His continued presence in the world - for now - isn't really enough evidence for her to believe otherwise. She stayed for a month before she became the Seal. She supposes she just has to believe that completing the circle did not come at the cost of his life until she can prove it.
They continue on for a while, with a building eventually coming into view over the horizon. It's notably the only building she has been able to look at for longer than a second so far. As they draw closer, it turns into the Iwatodai dorm. That makes this their destination, then, though she's not sure how or why the Iwatodai dorm would show up here, of all places. Ryoji stops on the front step and gestures to the door. "We're here."
"The dorm," she says. "Why here?"
"It's the source of the strength of your bonds," he says. "It allowed you to create the Seal, and it should hold your memories as well."
She finds that she does not want to go in, if only because she knows that her time with Ryoji will end. A selfish desire, really, but Ryoji is a part of her. She'll miss him. Would it be so bad, to stay in nothingness forever? It's what she chose when she sacrificed herself. "After that?"
"You'll be returned to the world. This is where we part ways." From seemingly nowhere - not that that is particularly hard to do wherever they are - he produces a piece of red cloth and hands it to her. She holds it up for inspection. It's small, sewn in a loop, with black stripes running around both the top and bottom.
"Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad," she reads aloud. "S.E.E.S."
"The final piece," Ryoji says softly. "The last thing you were missing. Your friends."
Hamuko stares down at the armband for a moment before looking back up at her friend. This is her decision. She's sure he wouldn't fault her if she decided to stay, but she knows he would be disappointed. "Goodbye, Ryoji."
He gives a lopsided reassuring grin. "You won't be rid of me forever. Goodbye, Hamuko."
She takes a deep breath and one last lingering look at him before entering the dorm, letting the door fall closed behind her. It looks. . . just as it should, she supposes. It feels like she just got home from school, uniform and all. She takes a few steps forward, towards the living room, the way she would if she were just getting home. The room glitches, changes -
Hamuko stands in the living room. They've just decided to let Ryoji live and, in turn, decided to face their apparently inevitable death head-on. Ryoji looks out at the rest of S.E.E.S. and sighs. "I'll tell you where to find Nyx."
At this, she perks up and exchanges glances with her brother. Ryoji accepting their decision and telling them where Nyx is means that he thinks there might be a chance of defeating her. If they can do that, then the Fall can be reverted. Even if there is no chance of genuinely defeating her, they have to at least try, right.
"She's at the top of Tartarus," he continues. "You have to reach the top before the Promised day."
Yukari frowns. "And when is the promised day?"
"January 31st. 2010." Ryoji does not seem happy to deliver the news, but then she doesn't suppose he would be. He wasn't happy to deliver the news of Nyx in the first place. There is something almost human in his regrets, the same way there is something almost human in the way Aigis speaks. Hamuko wishes this wasn't how it ended up.
If they hadn't killed the full moon Shadows, this wouldn't be happening. But, then, Ryoji wouldn't exist. She guesses if they had never met Ryoji, she wouldn't miss him, but it still feels as if something in her life would be empty without him, not to mention how much he had brought Minato out of his shell.
(Though, that might be because of their intrinsic connection, if they take Aigis's account of things into consideration.)
"When Nyx descends to Tartarus," Ryoji continues, "the world will end. If you go to the top of Tartarus on that day, you'll be able to face her. As the Appriser, I usher Nyx into this world. . . and Tartarus welcomes her arrival."
"So if we reach the top, we can fight Nyx?" Akihiko asks. "That's what we have to do, then."
She comes to standing in the same place she had been in the memory, tightly clutching the S.E.E.S. armband. She folds it up neatly and tucks it into her skirt so that she won't lose it. If that's how the memories work, then she'll need to explore the rest of the dorm. She sees a flicker of something moving in the kitchen, a peacoat and beanie that is gone the second she looks directly at it. The kitchen next, then.
"Aw, Koro-chan, are you hungry?" she asks the puppy as he sits patiently in the kitchen. "Aragaki-senpai's starving you, huh?"
There's a huff from the stove, where Shinjiro is busy stirring up some meat for Koromaru. "Told ya to call me Shinjiro. The dog isn't starvin'."
She stifles a giggle. She's never quite known how to act around her senpai - the others seem unsure how to deal with her peppy nature - but it's comfortable with Shinjiro. "I know. I'm just waiting for Koro to eat so I can take him for a walk. Thank you for feeding him, Shinjiro-senpai."
He rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment. To be fair, he didn't want any of them to find out he likes cooking in the first place. She can understand the shyness. "It's done now, but it's still hot. Take him for the walk and I'll give it to him when you get back."
"You hear that, Koro-chan?" she says in response. "He said let's go for a walk. Do you want to go for a walk?"
Koromaru lets out a small bark and happily walks to the door, Hamuko following close behind and stopping to put a leash on him. He doesn't need it, really, but she prefers the safety of having it on. "Put a damn coat on," Shinjiro's voice calls from the kitchen. "It's getting colder out."
She blushes and grabs her coat from where she had set it on the couch. It's barely the end of September, so it's not really that cold out yet, but it's not as if she can just ignore a direct instruction like that. Worst comes to worst she'll take it off when they get to the shrine.
"He's secretly a softy, huh, Koro?" she breathes as the door shuts behind her, trying not to let her nerves show in her voice. Koro gives her a knowing look. Without Aigis, she never would have assumed that a dog like Koro could understand her, but unfortunately she can tell that he's judging her. "Don't act like you don't like him too."
But Koro is a dog, so it's not in the same way, and she knows that. It's just frustrating that she would have a crush on someone so - so - Minato-esque.
(By that she means emotionally unavailable.)
(Minato would hit her if she said that out loud.)
"Do you think it could go anywhere?" she wonders aloud, then shakes the thought away. "Never mind, you'll say no. Come on, let's go see if Ken's at the playground."
This time she comes to standing where she was before the memory started. Makes sense. It would've been counterintuitive to appear outside of the dorm. It feels like she can see the members of S.E.E.S. hanging out on the couch in her peripheral, but she knows there is nothing to be gained in the living room anymore. Up the twirling staircase she goes, then. The second floor is the boys' floor, she knows. Ghosts of the past flicker in the common area as she reaches the first landing. She blinks them away and stares down the hallway.
She glances at the other doors before deciding to make her way around so that she ends up at the stairs again when she's done with the floor. First door on the right. . . that one is Ken's room, right? Might as well start there and work her way around counterclockwise.
She sits across from Ken at Wild Duck Burger, watching him absolutely shovel food into his mouth. His appetite reminds her of Minato, just most things about Ken do. That's probably why she has such a strong urge to protect the younger boy - older sister instincts kicking in.
(She can hear Minato protesting in her head that she's not that much older than him, but a few minutes makes all the difference to her.)
Ken blushes at her stare. "Aren't you going to eat, Hamuko-san?"
She looks down at her plate. She hadn't touched it yet. "Oh, whoops," she giggles. "Yeah, I'm gonna eat. Sorry, I was just thinking."
He goes quiet and starts eating slower. "It's just not the same," he says dejectedly. "When my mom was alive, we never went out to eat. . . I guess she was really good at cooking. Store-bought box lunches just taste horrible."
She frowns but knows what he means. She doesn't remember much about her parents, but she knows nothing really is the same as back then. She's just learned to take the change in stride. It's much newer for Ken, though. He's much younger.
After a moment, Ken looks up and gives a slight smile. "Sorry. This is really good. If you don't mind, I'd like to come here with you again."
She beams at him. "Sure, Ken-kun. I'd be happy to take you again."
She ends up back outside Ken's door. Is it going to be like that every time? That memory didn't even take place in the dorm, which means the memories aren't actually tied to the dorm itself. What are the memories tied to, then?
(The obvious answer is 'the people', but then she wonders why each memory - so far - is physically represented within the dorm.)
Second door on the right - Junpei's room. She hesitates outside of the door. She has the urge to knock, but she knows the dorm isn't real. The room is empty. She knocks anyways, but doesn't wait for an answer before going in, knowing that the answer will not come.
She's in Hagakure Ramen with Junpei, having been dragged here the second school ended. Junpei seems worked up over something, but she's not quite sure what, nor has he told her why they're going out to eat.
"You okay with the special?" Junpei asks. "If you want, they can put an extra egg on top." He gestures to her bowl. "Come on, eat up!"
She gives him a puzzled look but picks up her chopsticks, nonetheless. "Thank you for the food," she says out of habit. "Are you okay?"
". . . You look like you're in high spirits, like always," he says instead of answering the unasked question. Is that concern in his voice? What would have Junpei acting so weirdly?
She sets down her chopsticks. "What do you mean?"
"Wait, you haven't heard?" he asks, then hesitates. "Guess I shouldn't have brought it up. . ."
"Junpei," she says sternly.
"Okay, okay, I'll tell you. Sheesh. Don't get mad, okay?"
"What did you do this time?"
He goes wide-eyed and shakes his head. "Not me! Just. . . there's some photos of you going around. Photos of you in your gym clothes."
Oh. She giggles a little. "You made it sound like someone had died, Stupei. Pictures of me practicing?"
"There are other girls in it, but you're front and center. I think whoever was taking them was targeting you," he says, clearly confused by her giggles. "Are you not bothered?"
"Well, it is disgusting," she says and doesn't continue. It is disgusting to know that the boys at school have a picture of her in her gym clothes, but it's not like it's the first time this has happened. Junpei was acting like Minato had died or something. It's a relief to know it's just regular high school disgustingness that he's upset over. And kind of sweet, honestly.
"Yeah, no kidding. I mean, school is a public place, but it's kind of like peeping on you," Junpei says with disdain. "One of the guys in a different class found it. He came over to me and was like, 'isn't this the girl in your dorm?' I took that copy away, but the original's still out there."
They sit in silence for a bit while Junpei gathers his thoughts. Hamuko just busies herself with enjoying her ramen. She'll never be upset about Hagakure ramen. Even better since Junpei is paying for it (for once).
"Anyways," he says eventually with a laugh. "You must be real popular. That sort of thing isn't normal. I wonder if I'll be in danger of having my picture taken with you."
She makes a face. "Oh, ew, Stupei, don't make me think about people thinking we're together."
"Hey!'
Back outside of Junpei's door, and onto the next room. This one is Minato's. She wonders if the memory will be during the year they stayed at Gekkoukan, or if this might be one of the only ones she will get to see her childhood in. Not that it matters, if the way Ryoji explained it is true. She'll just have all her memories when she wakes up, no matter what she relives now.
She supposes there's only one way to tell what the memory will be. She sighs and enters the room.
She's staring up at the sky, head resting on Aigis's lap, waiting for the others to remember and come to the rooftop. They have to remember, right? They promised. She's been so tired, but the promise is what has been keeping her going. She just has to wait a little bit longer.
Aigis is talking of relationships and humanity, of love and friendship, of finding out who she is. Hamuko is glad that - even for a moment - she gets to experience Aigis discovering the world beyond Shadows. This moment could last forever, and everything would be perfect.
She can hear footsteps coming up the stairwell to the rooftop and, moments later, Minato slams the door open and runs over, panting and coughing from the exertion.
(So this is why he chose kendo over track, she thinks with some amusement.)
"Ham," he says, eyes wide and slightly teary. "What did you do?"
For a moment, she feels guilty for her decision. How cruel of her, to sacrifice herself, and bring Minato's remaining family down to zero. He has never feared his own death, she knows. Only hers. And she has made that fear into a reality by her own volition.
It's inherently a selfish decision to make him live in a world without her rather than bear living in a world without him.
It's better this way. Minato still has the members of S.E.E.S, of their little found family, and she can rest easy knowing that he will live at least a while longer. At least one Arisato will live a full life, though it won't be her. She finds she doesn't regret her decision in the slightest.
She takes a breath and looks up at her brother. "I'm sorry, Min," she says, and she can hear the exhaustion in her voice. "It had to be done."
"It should have been me," he says. "You should've let it be me."
He has to know she would never in a million years do that, no matter how much guilt she has about leaving him behind. She'd rather it'd be her.
She's so, so tired. It's getting hard to keep her eyes open. "Hey," she says softly. "Live your best life, okay?"
"Ham, you can't. . ." he says in a dead whisper. "Please."
"It's already been done."
She can hear the shouts and steps of the rest of S.E.E.S. She could live in this moment forever - this is enough. Her friends, her family, Aigis. It's enough.
Her eyes close of their own accord.
She drifts off to sleep to the sound of her nearing friends.
She shakes herself, wipes the tears from her eyes, and turns to the door opposite Minato's. She can't dwell on that. She's alive and so, hopefully, is Minato. There's no reason for her to be crying now. Moving on. Akihiko's next, the door across from Minato.
"I think you remind me of Miki," Akihiko says as they're walking to Hagakure to get some ramen. "Shinji said that's who you remind him of."
"Your little sister?" Hamuko says thoughtfully. "I remind you both of a little sister." Kind of a blow, to be honest. She's seen the way Akihiko looks at Minato. It's a bit rude that Minato gets to be crushed on while she's stuck being a little sister figure to all her senpai.
"No, not like a little sister in general," Akihiko backtracks. "Just like. . . Miki. You two have the same personality."
Why is he backtracking so hard? Maybe because him thinking of her as a sister means he has to think of Minato as a brother and - ew. Yeah, she'd backtrack too. The backtracking takes her out of sister-zone with Akihiko, but he says nothing about Shinji.
To say she's disappointed by that thought is an understatement, but she lets it go. This is about her friendship with Aki, not about her crush on Shinji. She waits for Akihiko to continue his thought.
"That's why I've been getting so protective lately," he finally continues. "Even though you're probably in less danger than I am at any point."
She giggles a little. "Sanada Akihiko admitting he's not invincible? Say it isn't so."
He pushes her a little, jokingly. "We all have our weaknesses. I'll stop being so damn obsessive."
"Anything else you and Shinjiro-senpai talked about?" she asks with another giggle. "Cuz it sounds like he gave you a stern lecture about something."
Akihiko rubs his neck in embarrassment. "He might've put some things in perspective, yeah. Sorry about - well."
She knows what he's talking about, of course. He's developed a habit over the past few weeks of treating both her and Minato like fragile children in battle, despite the fact that they're the leaders of the team. She's had it worse than Minato, though, and now she knows why.
"It's okay, Akihiko-senpai," she says with a soft smile. "Just don't do it again."
There's only one last door on the boy's floor. This one is Shinji's. Did she do that on purpose?
. . . Doesn't matter now.
She braces herself and goes in.
Hamuko fidgets nervously in the doorway of Shinji's room. It's surprisingly devoid of anything much, with plain bedsheets and an empty desk. There's no personality to the room whatsoever, a strong contrast to her overtly pink and orange room. Even Minato's room has more life to it than this room.
Shinji sits on his bed, not wearing his peacoat or beanie for once. The plain turtleneck looks good on him, she thinks absently, then blushes. Shinji looks up at her and huffs. "What're you standing there for? Sit."
She sits obediently next to him on the bed, ninety-percent sure that her face is bright red. "Did you want something, Shinjiro-senpai?"
He hesitates for a moment, looking anywhere in the room but her. Impressive, considering there's not actually anything to look at in his room. She opens her mouth to repeat the question but instead is met with his lips on hers. She freezes for a second - long enough that he starts to pull away - before leaning into it.
She's never really kissed anyone before. It's sort of exhilarating. Honestly, she should have been doing this before - though she's never really been interested in anyone, either. Most of the boys at school just think she's hot, nothing more. This, though, whatever this is. . . she could get used to it.
He pulls away after a bit. "Tch, this isn't how it was supposed to end up," he says, distancing himself even further. "You could do much more with your life than be with me."
"You're the one that kissed me," she protests. "And you're wrong."
Shinji's favorite hobby is giving her mixed signals, apparently. He invited her to his room, kissed her, and then immediately changed his mind and kicked her out when she reciprocated. There's some sort of war going on in his head, but she's not sure why. What's making him so hesitant?
"Just. . ." he says, trailing off before finding his train of thought again. "It's better if we didn't. You should go."
She swallows her bout of righteous anger. It's - he's - ugh. It's clear he's fighting with something. It's not her place to pressure him, no matter how stupid she thinks he's being - or the fact that he's the one that initiated it. Whatever just happened can always be dealt with later. She nods and makes her way to the door.
"I don't regret kissing back," she says before closing the door behind her and making her way to her room.
That had been October 2nd, she remembers. Shinji had gone out of his way to avoid her for the next few days, and then - well. They never got to talk about it. Maybe now that they're older he can have some sense knocked into him. He seems to be less closed off now, at least.
She shakes herself and looks around. That can be dealt with later - for now, memories. She's been to every single boy room, meaning it's time to go up onto the girl's floor. This one is laid out almost exactly like the floor below it, though the door she knows to be Mitsuru's is shifted closer to the stairway. She should approach this the same way, then.
That makes Yukari first.
"What do you want to do now?" Yukari asks. "Maybe karaoke? I think I'm all shopped out."
Hamuko laughs. "Finally? I didn't think that was possible for you."
"I could've invited Minato instead," Yukari huffs. "He's a much better shopping buddy. One hundred percent less judgement."
"Too bad for you, Junpei dragged him out for some dumb boys thing. Guess we're switching best friends for the day, huh?"
Minato's quick and easy friendship with Yukari was probably the most surprising thing about moving back to Iwatodai, but she can see how it happened now that it's been a little while. Yukari is a talker and so is Hamuko. They devolve quickly into talking over each other, which can be fun but definitely isn't sustainable in a close friendship.
Minato, however, is a listener. His relationship with Yukari isn't very hard to sustain - especially since they're both gay. She imagines there's some amount of solidarity involved, considering they also both have crushes on their Senpai.
(Not that either has admitted said crushes to themselves, let alone each other or - god forbid - Hamuko.)
A child comes over to them, clearly lost and crying. Yukari gives her an apologetic glance and takes the time to help him, like Hamuko minds that somehow. She sits on the bench by the fountain with their shopping bags and waits for the other girl to come back.
She does so soon - given that there's literally a police station inside the mall - and slumps next to Hamuko. "He was able to contact his parents," she says with some relief. "But. . . what were they thinking, leaving him all alone?"
Hamuko puts a hand on Yukari's shoulder. This is clearly a sore spot.
"It just - ugh. It makes me so mad," she continues. "My mom is just like that."
Oh, right. She remembers this. "You said you two aren't close, right?"
Yukari starts fidgeting with the hem of her skirt. "Yeah. She's kind of terrible, to be honest. But. . . she wasn't always like that."
They never are, Hamuko supposes. Jeez, all of their parents are either dead, terrible, or both. She tries to picture any of them having a functional family and stifles her giggle. Yeah, that'll never happen. "I'm sorry," she says out loud.
Yukari sighs. "It's not your fault. After what happened to dad, she just sort of became a different person. If I had to guess what she's doing right now, it's. . . living with one of her boyfriends, or something. Honestly, I don't know, and I'm going to keep it that way." At Hamuko's wince, Yukari perks up a little. "Hey, you know what'd be cool? Changing the subject!"
At this, Hamuko has to laugh. "Alright, change the subject then, Yuka-tan."
"Okay, did you hear about. . ."
She's really getting whiplash from these memories. Lighthearted, genuine problems, remembering her own death - it's a mixed bag. These are supposed to be her core memories, right? Some of these are so innocuous that she has a bit of trouble believing it, but she supposes this weird world would know better than her.
Okay, onto the next room. This one is Fuuka's, if she remembers correctly.
"Hey, Fuuka-chan," Hamuko says, trailed into the girl's common area by her brother. "You wanted something?"
"Uhm, yeah," Fuuka says nervously and holds out two wrapped boxes, pink and blue. "I made you both something, as a thank you for helping me out in the Cooking Club."
"Is it edible?" Minato asks in a flat tone. Hamuko hits him on the arm, but doesn't disagree with the question. She's not sure she can stomach whatever Fuuka has decided to give them if it is meant to be edible.
Thankfully, Fuuka laughs. "No, I didn't cook it. Here," she says and presses the pink one into Hamuko's hands. "Open it."
She rips into the paper - noting as she does so that Minato is carefully taking it apart in the same way he does all gifts, to preserve and fold the wrapping paper later - and opens the box.
Oh.
It's a pair of headphones, much cooler looking than her current pair. "You made these?" she asks, taking them out of the box.
Fuuka fidgets nervously. "Do you like them? I was messing around with some circuitry -"
Minato is already plugging them into his MP3 player and turning on some music. After a moment he takes them off and nods. "Sounds good."
"I trust his judgement," Hamuko says with a smile. "Thank you, Fuuka-chan."
That was cute. Fuuka is adorable, honestly. Hamuko turns to go to the next door but pauses. The next door is her own room. Will there even be a memory in there? . . . She has to check, doesn't she? She has to get every memory before she can leave – or at least, that's what she assumes.
She sits crisscross applesauce on her bed, waiting patiently for the Dark Hour to come. Minato is sitting at her desk, doing some homework, silently keeping her company. It's not technically within the rules for him to be here, but she knows Mitsuru will turn a blind eye if she somehow notices it.
She's never been able to fall asleep until after the Dark Hour comes, but this time she's not even sure she'll fall asleep after it does.
The full moon was only a few days ago. She prefers not to think about it, but usually Pharos appears soon afterwards. She wants to be awake to greet him if he does come, no matter what just happened.
(She's still a bit of a wreck, honestly. The others have been leaving her to her own devices, with the exception of Minato, who has been spending every minute she's home and awake in her room with her. It's kind of funny how quickly their roles have reversed.)
The world finally goes green. Minato pulls his headphones off but doesn't stop doing his homework. Hamuko is jealous of how diligently he works – she'd never managed to get anything done during the Dark Hour, and that has to be why she's always a point or two behind him when grades come out.
"Hello," Pharos says from her peripheral. "You seem tired. Did something happen?"
"Hi, Pharos," she says quietly. Minato finally stops working and turns to watch the exchange. They're not usually in the same place when Pharos visits, but she knows he visits both of them. "My – our friend was put into a coma the other day."
She doesn't know why she bothered to correct herself. She doesn't think Minato and Shinji have ever said a single word to each other. They're too similar – too unwilling to reach out – for that.
"Is that so?" he says with some amount of sadness in his voice. "In this world, people die every day. Until recently, this was the same to me as the blowing of the wind."
"Until recently?" she asks softly.
"Now, I see things differently. For the first time, I have friends," he says, looking between the two of them. "Lately, I've become more certain of something. You know the end I've spoken of? Some people refer to it as "the Fall," but regardless. . . it's drawing near. Don't you sense it?"
She doesn't sense it, but she trusts what he says. He hasn't been wrong yet.
"We're kindred spirits," Pharos says. "So why is it that only I can remember? This is a heartrending matter. Is my existence something you are unable to accept?"
"Pharos. . ." she trails off.
He goes through a range of emotions before setting back into his serene one. "Forgive me if I have said anything peculiar today. . . perhaps it is the change of the seasons. Until then, goodnight."
He disappears the same way he always does, and that's when Hamuko finally processes something.
"Min," she says. "Don't you think he looks a bit like you?"
Pharos is Ryoji, she knows now. She wonders if there will be a Ryoji memory, at some point. She knows that they were different arcana, somehow. The room across from hers is Aigis's. She giggles. Aigis was pretty persistent about taking that room instead of living up on the fourth floor – better to be physically close to Hamuko than close to neither twin, she supposes.
The Shadows are closin g in, but none of them have their Evokers. Why don't any of them have their Evokers? What a stupid little mistake – she usually never goes anywhere at night without it, just in case. Wearing a dress instead of a skirt is a flimsy excuse at best; the other girls have straps for their legs, Hamuko just never wears hers. Yukari had rushed out in a burst of emotion, and Minato had chased after her pretty quickly afterwards. Neither of them grabbed their Evokers first.
"What are we going to do?" Yukari says with a tinge of panic in her voice. "There's too many of them to get through and run away."
They're backed into each other by this point. She's supposed to be the main leader and even she's unsure of what they could possibly do. Morbidly, she hopes that the others can still manage without the two Wild Cards on their team, but she shakes that thought away. Now is not the time to be thinking depressing thoughts.
"Defense protocol activated," says an emotionless voice from somewhere nearby. "Protect at all costs."
She looks around and eventually finds the source – isn't that the girl from earlier? The one who ran away when she approached to apologize for the boys' behavior. Interesting that she would be awake now, of all times.
Hamuko watches as the girl's dress burns off, bullets come out of her fingertips, and – that is not a girl, that's a robot. A Shadow fighting robot. Just what does the Kirijo Group do with all their money and spare time, anyways?
After the robot is done dispatching every single Shadow, she approaches. "I have found you at last," the robot says, looking directly at Hamuko and Minato.
That leaves one last memory for this floor. Mitsuru's. Hamuko knows that there's a meeting room upstairs, where there might be another memory, but after that she's not sure. She'll deal with that when she gets to it, she decides, and pushes open Mitsuru's door.
They're at the movies, on her quest to make Mitsuru a functioning member of not-rich society. Basic skills like "eating like a normal person" and "interacting with people without so many formalities" seemed to have escaped Mitsuru's upbringing, unsurprisingly.
"I never imagined the popcorn you eat while viewing a movie could taste so good," Mitsuru says with a smile. "Before I knew it, I'd eaten your half too. I apologize."
Hamuko giggles. "Don't worry, Mitsuru-senpai. Accidentally stealing popcorn is an essential part of the movie-watching experience. I always accidentally eat Minato's."
"Is that so," Mitsuru says with a slight chuckle. "Regardless, it's relaxing to watch movies on your own whim. You can have 'bored' written over your face without having to consider the feelings of others."
Honestly, Hamuko hadn't even thought of that part. Of course Mitsuru would find it fun to not have to keep up appearances for an hour or two, given her role as the Kirijo heir. "Was the movie boring?" she asks.
"Oh, no, I was speaking hypothetically. I enjoyed it," Mitsuru says with a bigger smile than before. "I don't think I would normally have this type of conversation. You're the type that wouldn't feel uncomfortable watching a movie by herself, aren't you? You may be more suited to a motorcycle than me."
"What? But Mitsuru-senpai, you look so cool on your motorcycle!"
"It's true that I bought it so I can go where I want, when I want," she admits. "It was my modest attempt at rebellion. I had planned to get rid of it after it was damaged, but I decided to have it repaired instead."
Hamuko breathes a sigh of relief. So she's not getting rid of the bike – that's good. She doesn't know if she could stand it if Mitsuru got rid of her motorcycle. "I'm glad."
"It may be a bit of an exaggeration to say I cherish it, but I do enjoy riding when I have the time to." Mitsuru smiles again and gestures around. "It's not dark yet. Let's go find something else to do, shall we?"
Up the next flight of stairs, to the meeting room. After that, wherever her whims take her. This one is the last S.E.E.S. memory, at least. It has to be.
"There is a 25th hour in the day," Ikutsuki says.
"Yeah, we know," Hamuko replies, glancing at Minato. "And?"
The chairman falters, like he didn't expect her answer. She frowns a little. The dorm members know about the midnight phenomenon but didn't expect the twins to already know about it. Does that mean they haven't been experiencing it for as long as they can remember? She wonders what that would feel like.
Sanada picks up the conversation thread that Ikutsuki had left. "We call it the Dark Hour."
Hamuko looks between everyone in the room and has a silent exchange with her brother. "You want us to join your weird group, right? That's why we're here. You can skip the explanations."
"You'll have time to think about it, of course," Ikutsuki starts.
"I'm in." Minato whispers from beside her. She's pretty sure from the expressions on their faces that they hadn't heard him speak yet and, like everyone else, had assumed him to be mute. She knows he finds that assumption hilarious and plays into it as much as he can. It doesn't help that he knows JSL.
"Well, you heard him," she says. "We're in."
That leaves Hamuko with not much elsewhere to go. There shouldn't be anything if she goes back down, so. . . up to the rooftop it is. She wonders idly as she climbs the stairs if there will be anything more after the rooftop. She had more friends than just S.E.E.S.
Flashes of another time play in front of her, much different from the memories she has been experiencing. Yukari rushes up the stairs, closely followed by herself and Minato – both in pajamas. The night they awakened their Personas, then. Not enough to count for its own memory apparently, but still important, she supposes.
She stands on the school rooftop, enjoying the day. Her and Ryoji had snuck in – climbed over the gates and everything. She's not sure she's ever broken a rule this bad before, but she can't find it in her to care.
"I wonder if we'll get in trouble if someone finds us," Ryoji says.
She looks around. "Probably. We did break in. We'll just have to not be seen."
He laughs a little at this. "I see. You're an interesting person, Hamuko-chan."
She takes a seat on one of the benches and gestures for him to sit next to her. For a while, they just sit there. The mood is – not quite happy, but she can't put her finger on what it is. She decides not to dwell on it and just enjoy this time.
"When I'm alone," Ryoji eventually starts, voice soft. "I don't feel right. I think I'm scared. Thinking about you. . . it scares me. The fact that tomorrow will come. . . scares me. But I can't figure out why."
The way he's talking reminds her of Minato, so she says nothing in response. When Minato opens up, speaking often makes him shut down. Ryoji will continue if he wants to, when he's ready. They sit for a while longer before he eventually does speak up again.
"Hey, Hamuko-chan. . . I – I – I'm. . ."
"You're Ryoji," she says gently.
He gives a small smile. "Hearing you say it makes it sound so wonderful. . . thank you. I. . . I don't want to lose you. Because you're important to me. That's probably why I'm scared."
She puts her arm around his shoulder – though he's taller than her, so it's a bit awkward, even sitting – and pulls him into a side hug. "You won't lose me, Ryoji," she says. "I promise."
Somehow, she comes out of the memory on the school rooftop instead of the dorm rooftop. Interesting. If she goes back downstairs, will it continue being the school? If it does, then her instinct was right; she has to remember something to do with all her friends, not just the members of S.E.E.S. She looks around the rooftop - noting that the city is blurry and indistinct, like it doesn't want her to actually see it - one last time and makes her way down.
Let's see. . .
The student council room is probably the closest, so she heads there. The school keeps being the school as she opens the rooftop doors and heads down the stairs to the student council room, so she's fairly sure her original hypothesis was correct.
"The other day," says Hidetoshi to the rest of the student council. "I was talking about the cigarette butt in the boy's bathroom. The teachers want the student to be expelled as soon as I find out who it is."
"Expelled?" asks Chihiro with worry on her face. The rest of the student council mutters about it, and Hamuko exchanges glances with Minato. She's not exactly sure how she feels about that decision.
The meeting wraps up soon afterwards, but Hamuko stays behind. Minato leaves talking to Chihiro, another one of the friendships she can't fathom the beginning of. "Expulsion, huh?" Hidetoshi mutters. He looks tired. "What do you think, Hamuko-kun? About the smoker's punishment, that is."
"It's a bit strict. . ." she trails off, hoping Hidetoshi agrees. She can never tell with the way he acts.
He nods. That was the answer he was looking for, thankfully. "I think so too. I think once I catch the culprit, I'll give him a good lecturing. After all, the point is to try to prevent it from happening again. It'd be great if I could get people like him to change their ways. I don't sympathize with students who break the rules, but. . ."
"But expulsion is a bit too much," she agrees. "I think a lecture is a good choice, Hidetoshi-kun."
"Kicking out the 'bad' kids won't really make the school a better place," he ponders out loud, then shakes himself. "Sorry, I don't know why I'm complaining. I guess I'm just confused because I feel so powerless. I'll have more power if I do what the teacher wants and win his trust. Then people will have to listen to me. Watch me, Hamuko-kun! I'll work my way to the top."
His persistence is kind of endearing, even though he can be a bit overbearing at times. She supposes he just hates the feeling of not being able to do anything. The expulsion thing can be worked out if and when they ever catch the smoker. No point in worrying about it right now.
The rest of her friends would be on the first floor, she thinks. Maybe the gym first? She heads to the Eastern stairs and comes out right by the walkway to the gym. Easy. She pushes open the door to the walkway.
The persimmon tree really is pretty, she thinks. Even more so that she knows the emotional significance behind it. As she nears, she sees Bunkichi and Mitsuko standing near it.
"Hello," she calls out.
"Ah, Hamu-chan," says Bunkichi. "We came to say goodbye to the tree."
"You decided to let the school go through with the remodel?" she asks. She knows they had been debating it for a while. It'll be sad for the tree to go, but she's glad they finally came to a decision. If they decided to let the school remove it, then she's sure they have a good reason.
"They're moving the tree to another wing," Mitsuko explains. "But even so, we decided that education was more important than the tree. Our son was a teacher, you know."
She does know. She had been drawn to the old couple the same way Minato had, and for the same reason. They lost a son, and the twins lost their parents. It's an interesting case of role-fulfilling, especially if you include the car crash aspect.
Of course, none of them are true replacements, but it's nice to have a reason to connect. Minato enjoys the bookstore far more than she does – he's always been a reader – and frequents it more often, but Hamuko enjoys helping out when she can. It's nice to see a conclusion to the persimmon tree thing and see the couple out and about.
"That's good," she says. "I'm happy for you."
"You and Minato-kun need to stop by soon for some food," Mitsuko says, eyes smiling. "Both of you."
Hamuko gives a wide smile. "I'll make sure to drag him over. Shouldn't be too hard."
She hadn't expected a memory there, but she guesses it makes sense. She gives the persimmon tree one last look before moving on. She was heading to the gym, after all, and there's no use lingering.
They're just leaving the tennis court, having been practicing for a while now. She had suggested food and gossip, and apparently that was all Rio needed to start talking.
"Kenji?" Hamuko says and makes a face. "You have a crush on Kenji?"
One of Minato's few male friends, and the worst one at that. She's not sure she's ever disliked someone more than she dislikes Kenji, actually. Rio blushes a little. "He's just really cute."
"Sure," she responds. "If you're into the dorky thing. Which I guess you are."
Rio blushes even harder. "You don't have to be mean about it."
"No, Rio," she reassures. "I think it's cute that you have a crush. It's just. . . Kenji's a world-class perv."
"It's kind of charming, don't you think?"
"No. I do not think that."
Rio stops walking and crosses her arms. "Isn't he your brother's friend?"
Hamuko sighs and stops too, turning to face Rio. "Yeah, and I don't approve of that either."
"Well, if your brother likes him, then I see no reason I can't."
"My brother doesn't like him like that, though. Kenji isn't his type. Because he has standards."
They stare at each other for a little while longer before bursting into giggles and continuing on their way. The argument will come up again, sure, and she might have to knock some sense into both Minato and Rio, but she can't help how people feel. Even if it's positive feelings about Kenji somehow.
Nothing left to be gained in the gym, she starts heading back out. The rest of the school memories should be in the main building, which is convenient. No wandering around for her, at least. She blocks the ghosts of the past from her view and heads back out into the courtyard.
"Hey," Maiko calls out as Hamuko and Minato near. "Have you seen Striped Shirt? We were playing tag, but it's no fun if I can't find him." A boy – about their age – wearing a striped shirt approaches, making Maiko light up. "Hey, Striped Shirt! You don't look so good. . . are you sick?"
He glances at the two of them before answering. "Kinda, yeah. I'm surprised you could tell."
Maiko's excitement immediately vanishes. "So you are sick?"
For a split second, Hamuko considers intervening, but then the boy gives a light chuckle. "Haha, no. I'm kidding. You're so easy, Maiko."
From the looks of him, she doesn't think he was kidding, but she can see why he would change his answer just to make Maiko feel better. As it is, Maiko pouts a little. "No fair! I'm an innocent girl, so I actually believed you!" She gives him a frustrated look and runs off to play on the playground.
The boy turns back to Hamuko and Minato. ". . . And you are?"
"Oh," Hamuko says with a small laugh. "Arisato Hamuko and Arisato Minato. We stop by to play with Maiko sometimes."
His eyes light up in recognition. "Oh, so you're the people she was talking about. I wondered what you were like. . . are you too old to play with kids, or are you still young at heart?"
"Hamuko's like a little kid," comes Minato's voice.
She pushes him a little. "You only ever talk when it's to insult me."
"That's not true."
The boy laughs at their exchange a little. "Kamiki Akinari. It's nice to meet you."
When Hamuko comes to, the area across from the persimmon tree has transformed into a perfect replica of the shrine playground. Interesting. She spends a bit walking around it, fascinated by whatever is creating these memory areas, before eventually deciding to move on.
The home economics room is next, she thinks. It's the closest to the gym, anyways.
"Zere," Bebe says in his thick accent. "I am finished!"
She looks over to see Bebe holding up the kimono he's been working on for a while. "You did it!" she says excitedly, admiring his work. She hasn't progressed further than making little plushies, but she doesn't think she would have the patience to do what Bebe did. "Oh, Bebe, it looks great!"
"Very nice!" he says, also admiring it. "I 'ave no complaints! When my uncle sees zis, he will surely let me come back to Nihon! It eez time for 'im to concede! I must 'urry up and go see 'im!" he pauses and looks sadly at her. "So I 'ave to say goodbye for a little while. . . sayonara. . ."
"I'll miss you," she says softly. "But I'm glad you got your kimono done."
"But I'll be back!" says Bebe with renewed spirit. "I will not give in to my uncle!"
He pauses again and rummages around the area where he's been working. Hamuko watches him with some interest – had he made something without her here? . . . she has been missing meetings recently.
"Hamuko-sama," he says eventually, pulling something out. "Please, take zis."
It's a little pouch, made out of the same fabric that the kimono was. It's really pretty, actually. She feels tears pricking her eyes – she's never been good at goodbyes – but clutches it anyways. "Thank you, Bebe."
"I made it from ze leftover material. It eez a sign of our friendship!" he says with a wide smile.
She looks down at the pouch in her hands. A sign of their friendship indeed. She's always been a little too sentimental, but she knows she's going to treasure this pouch forever.
That only leaves the library, in the opposite wing. She makes her way there, simultaneously wondering at the emptiness as she walks through the entrance and haunted by flickers of students that aren't really there. Yukari walks past, trailed by Minato and Hamuko – showing them around on their first day.
She shakes her head and walks quicker to the library.
"Love advice, hm," Saori mutters as she pulls out the newsletter manuscript. "There's a lot of space left. Can we write that much?"
"We'll just have to try," Hamuko says resolutely, even though she knows neither her nor Saori are very qualified to be giving love advice. Interesting decision, to choose two library helpers for something like that.
(It might be because Hamuko is popular, but that doesn't mean she's ever dated anyone.)
Saori smiles at the reassurance. "Yeah, you're right. Let's get to it. What sounds like a realistic problem someone would have?
Hamuko thinks of what she does know about love, before settling on something simple. They're not exactly qualified to give any sort of detailed advice, anyway. "Maybe something like 'I can't get a boyfriend'?"
"Oh, I see. . ." Saori trails off and thinks for a while. "It's no use, I can't think of anything to write. How about you write the article and I'll write the title and work on the layout. Is that fine, Hamuko-chan?"
"Yeah, that sounds good."
"Thank goodness," Saori says with clear relief. "I don't know anything about that sort of thing after all." She pauses for a moment and seems to decide something. "My personal experiences aren't worth shit here."
It takes everything Hamuko has to not burst into loud giggles. They're still in the library, after all. "Shit? Did you mean to say that?"
Saori starts laughing a little too. "Sorry, I just wanted to try cursing for once. Let's get to work on this article."
Exiting the library leaves no more memories in the school, as far as she can remember. She could roam about – which is tempting – but she doubts that will help at all. Maybe if she goes out the front doors. . .? She might get somewhere new that way, like when she exited the dorm.
No point in not trying.
She pushes open the front doors and ends up inside the mall. Interesting. She walks over to the fountain and is immediately pulled into a memory.
"You there," says a fancy-looking businessman from beside the fountain. "You have quite the pretty face."
She can feel Minato immediately start glowering from beside her. He's never been a fan of the attention Hamuko receives, especially from. . . ew. . . older men. "Go away," he deadpans.
The businessman holds his hands up. "I'm President Tanaka of Tanaka's Amazing Commodities," he explains. "You both would make excellent models for our company."
"No thanks," Minato says and starts to pull her away, but now she's interested. It's not that she wants to be a model, of course, but the concept is amusing to her. The chances of this being a scam are pretty high, but that doesn't really matter to her. A little money for a little fun, right?
"What did you have in mind?" she asks with a smile. Minato catches her expression and groans, but stays where he is and stops trying to pull her away.
"It's simple, really," says Tanaka. "You give me 40,000 yen for the chance of a lifetime – to be trained as a model for our prestigious company."
Hamuko lets him sit for a while before answering. "Each?"
Tanaka perks up. "Yes, each."
Minato is glaring at her, but it's not his money she'll be spending, and she has plenty of money from her part-time jobs. "Sure. Here you go."
Tanaka takes it excitedly and stashes it away. "Perfect. Next time you see me, I'll have information about that contract," he says, and then walks away with her money.
"You just gave him 80,000 yen." Minato says incredulously.
"Yeah," she giggles. "It'll be fun when I threaten to talk to the cops next time."
The next one should be in Club Escapade, if it follows the pattern. She heads there, a little more creeped out by the emptiness of the mall than she was by the school. She doesn't know what happens after this, but – she'll figure it out.
"Before I became a monk," Mutatsu is saying, smoking his signature cigar. "I was a plain ol' businessman, with a wife and a son. But they both left me. . . four years ago. . ."
Hamuko remains quiet. People have a habit of opening up to her, and it's better when she doesn't interrupt them. She'll speak up when she feels an opening, but not a second sooner.
"I used to stay out past midnight; and when I got home, my wife and I would get into a big argument. . . and now, when I go home, I don't know what to do with myself, so I just come here and drink every night."
Drinking away his sorrows. . . it's sad, but she knows it's common. She sips her carbonated water and resolves to never drink as a crutch. It won't be worth it. "You're just running away," she says eventually.
Mutatsu gives her a look she can't quite decipher. "Yeah, you're absolutely right. I shaved my head, but it's only for show. . ." he laughs a little. "I get drunk to avoid facing my problems. So yeah, I guess you could say I'm runnin' away. . . She hasn't called me or sent me a letter since then. She must've gotten over me."
"You should call her," she says resolutely. "You'll never know unless you try to reach out."
He laughs a bit more and coughs. "How did a kid get so much wiser than me? . . . I'll think about it. Get out of here, don't you have school to worry about?"
She puts her drink down and leaves at his request, hoping that she got through to him. That's all she can really hope for, she supposes.
As she leaves Club Escapade, she realizes there's one more place she can go. She stops in front of the alleyway. The blue glow entices her closer, this time without the menacing aura. This is where she was meant to end up, she knows. She hesitates for a second outside of the door, but eventually steels her nerves and enters.
Theo looks around the park they're in. "Hamuko-san, I –"
"Chan," she interrupts.
"What?"
"If you're going to use an honorific, use chan, Theo. I'm a little tired of the Master stuff or whatever."
He gives her a searching look before continuing his thought. "I shouldn't be telling you this."
This gains her interest. What could Theo possibly have to tell her? It's not like the attendants do much but be weird and fuse Personas. "Go on."
"Your story. . ." he trails off. "It will end in death."
She looks to see if he's being serious, even knowing he doesn't have the capacity for jokes or lies. "Death?" she asks.
"A sacrifice," he clarifies. "The world will need to be saved at the cost of a life."
She ponders over this new information for a while. A life will need to be sacrificed to save the world. . . to prevent the Fall that Pharos used to talk about, she supposes. It makes sense, in a way. She tries to imagine anyone sacrificing themselves and winces. "It will be me, then."
"Hamuko-chan –"
She stands up and brushes off her skirt. "Thanks for telling me, Theo," she says with determination. "But I can't let it be anyone but me."
She wakes up bathed in blue light, clutching a small piece of cloth.