Sirius awoke to a dull scraping noise, gentle pressure against his shoulder. He made a noise of discontent and tucked herself further into Mrs. Potter's lap, his head bumping against Lily's. He blinked his eyes open when the pressure behind him increased; someone was pushing at the door. A faint light shone from the high windows, casting long shadows on the flagstones. It was still very early.
Sirius rubbed his eyes, his mind fearful and alert as the events of the day before came into sharper focus. He sat up, gently shaking Lily's shoulder and caught Euphemia's eye. How long had they been there for? And with news so long-awaited, how encouraging could the information possibly be?
Behind him, Lupin and Peter stirred, but Mr. Potter was already awake, looking the very image of James when he was angry. It didn't show as easily, but it was there nonetheless— the slight tightening of his shoulders, the pressing of his lips. Despite his easy demeanour the night before, Sirius couldn't imagine what this stress was doing to them. James was their only son, and for all they knew, he was dying.
Euphemia shifted and stood with grace, dusting off Lily's nightgown and vanishing the blankets with a wave of her wand. The others were moving as well, rising more slowly with yawns and stretches.
The door pushed open at last, and the Healer behind it appeared.
"He's going to be okay," she said, her robes cleaned and expression more hopeful than the night before. Sirius's breath caught, and looked over to where Lily was. She caught his eye, and Sirius smiled, a tugging at his lips that felt unfamiliar and wonderful.
"We stopped the bleeding to the best of our ability," the Healer said, leading them into the Hospital Wing. "But he was cursed with dark magic, and the lacerations could not be fully healed. He can't be moved for fear of agitating the stitches,"
Sirius nodded blindly as the Healer led them past the doors to James' bedside. "He's conscious, but he comes in and out. He was very anxious to see you all,"
"I bet he was," Lupin muttered, looking down at James.
James didn't look like himself, Lily thought, her eyes swimming with unexpected tears. He didn't look fully awake or even fully alive as they considered him, pale and drawn and lying on a hospital bed. He was still bare from the waist up, and the slashes across his chest and shoulders were stitched up with Muggle sutures and held in place with bandages. His hair was uncombed and lying flat against his forehead, eyes closed, and mouth drawn. Lily's thoughts swam with the last time she had seen him like this before the Marauders burst into their dormitory. Was it only three days ago that they had snogged half-naked in his bedroom? And indeed, were those bruises and scratches on his neck and chest not from the accident, but from her? She couldn't pull the sounds he made against her throat from her mind; he had kissed her then with intensity, with purpose.
"What is this?" the Healer asked, walking towards Sirius and touching the deep slash on his cheekbone. Lily watched with bated breath as Sirius recoiled in pain and took a step back, both in what appeared to be embarrassment and discomfort.
"It's a cut," Sirius said starkly, furrowing his eyebrows and turning toward Lupin, who cracked a grin. "You didn't seem particularly interested in looking at it yesterday,"
"I daresay we were pre-occupied on keeping your friend alive," the Healer said bluntly, pulling her wand out of a holster on her hip. She waved her wand about and considered the depth and severity of his injury. "Was it the same curse that hit him?"
"No, it was something else," Sirius said, distracted. He couldn't bring himself to admit that it wasn't Snape who cursed him, but the hooded bloke beside him. And Sirius only got hit because he was stunned in the aftermath of James' jumping in front of a curse intended for him. Sirius was shocked and embarrassed and unable to help, and now that time has passed, the slash seemed to him a due punishment to pay. He had pulled his wand out of his pocket and cursed James' assailants without mercy, curses and hexes and dark magic his mother had taught him, nonverbal and relentless. Sirius hadn't noticed the cut at the time, distracted and horrified at the sight of James lying in a pool of blood in the snow. He remembered walking past the two hooded attackers without a second thought, James lolling and bleeding in his arms, running as fast as he could to Hogwarts.
The Healer pointed her wand at his cut, ignoring the others and focused on the task at hand. The skin healed, but the fusing of flesh pinched and pulled as it was pulled together, but Sirius fought to keep his expression still. There was no need to frighten James' parents any more than they already had been.
"Snape has to pay for what he did," Lupin said firmly, drawing shock and surprise from the Healer and Peter. "If it was his curse, the slashing spell, that is,"
Lily watched as James' parents sat at their son's bedside, one of his hands held tightly in both of hers. Their faces were drawn, fearful. Despite Mrs. Potter's gentle nature, Lily saw the worry on their faces. The ache of his loss and the fear of the unknown had paralyzed her.
It brought the most important things to light. Lily and James had known each other for so long, and Lily didn't know what she would be if he was gone. She had grown very fond of having him close.
Lily watched Mrs. Potter carefully, sitting down only when she nodded faintly. Lily sat down numbly, sitting at James' bedside as if in a trance, taking his left hand in hers.
"Is he going to get better?" Mr. Potter asked thinly, his eyes searching. Lily watched helplessly as tears fell down Mrs. Potter's cheeks.
"We don't know," the Healer said finally. "The curse was thorough, cutting through flesh and organs alike. I won't minimize the danger he's in; the next few hours will be crucial to his recovery. He needs to stay still, as still as possible, or the sutures will break. And unless we can discover a way to cut through the dark magic…"
Lily didn't need to hear the rest.
"How…" Lupin began, seemingly unable to find the words. Lily looked up to see him and Sirius standing closely together at the foot of James' bed, hands held tightly between them. "How … alive is he?"
"We don't know," the Healer said sadly, lowering her wand back into its holster. "No one does, we've consulted with the specialists from St. Mungo's, a warlock in France, reading document after document of dark magic and severing charms, but nothing leads to nothing. We can keep him stable, but nothing more,"
Peter clutched the corner of James' bed for support before breaking down in tears, thick hiccoughing sobs echoed throughout the room. Lily blinked back tears of her own, and when Sirius and Lupin whispered together and left the room in a hurry, she didn't have the energy to follow.
…
As the hours passed, James blinked in and out of consciousness. He awoke confused and in what appeared to be a great deal of pain, his eyes blurry and unfocused. Lily couldn't tell if he was aware of their presence or the continual blood replenishing potion he was administered. Her roommates came by during their free period and during meal times, but for the most part, she stayed still, James' hand held tightly in hers. When she asked, Marlene had dropped off a handful of clothes for her, knickers and a clean bra as well as the jumper she had worn that last night in Gryffindor tower. She dressed in silence in the loo just off the Hospital Wing, letting her nightgown fall to the floor without further consideration. She used a quick cleaning charm in the absence of a warm shower and dressed methodically. Socks, knickers, her favourite Muggle t-shirt, one strap and then the other of her dungarees, pulling the hem of James' jumper over the lot. It was like he was there with her, dressing in silence. She could almost hear the rustle of clothing, the muffled curse as he stumbled into his trousers.
Lily pulled the handkerchief his mother had given her out of the pile of discarded things and brought it up to her face, turning to face the small looking glass on the wall. The light was all wrong, and the image was distorted with age, but could that truly be her? Lily had never seen a face so empty, so barred of expression. Lily couldn't remember experiencing so many fits of emotion since her dad had died a few years ago. Her eyes were red and puffy, her skin pale and nearly translucent in grief. She was thin, too. Thinner than she remembered being. She pulled her hands to her waist, trying to remember the last time she had eaten or even tried to eat. Had she had any water? When, indeed, was the last time she had showered?
It didn't matter, but these inconsistencies of even the most basic acts of staying alive bothered her. When was the last time she had thought for her own wellbeing? How many times had she moved food around her plate for something to do while others ate?
She knew that Mrs. Potter had noticed, last night before she had fallen asleep, they had caught eyes for a moment too long, and it was like Lily was bare before her. There was something in her voice, Lily recalled. Something calming and stilling, but she wasn't quite able to place it. Reassuring, but concerned and worried, not for James' safety and wellbeing but her own.
It had been so long since she had had a mother who cared, this outpouring of maternal love nearly overpowered her. What must it have been like to grow up with parents like James'? To be supported and encouraged, loved beyond measure without any instigation or prompting? For a love that would bring back the dead, James' parents had welcomed and accepted her without words, without hesitation, even. Last night, before she had fallen asleep on Mrs. Potter's lap, she had welcomed the Marauder's presence like they were her own people, the friends, perhaps, she hadn't had with the opposite sex since fifth year. Even without James, they were there for one another, and she had fallen asleep without a single thought of her acceptance among them.
She was James' people now.
Lily blew her nose and washed her face, attempting some semblance to a self-care routine the tiny bathroom provided. She thought back to her and James' loo in the Head's Dormitory, the double vanity, clawfoot tub. Thinking fondly of their things, tangled together and occupying the same space. Is that what they were now, one of the same?
And here he was, she thought with a sinking feeling in her belly— clinging to consciousness and dying in his parent's arms. She couldn't let him, she'd do anything to keep him here with the people who cared most about him. For all he had done, he deserved a second chance.
Lily left the loo and shut the door quietly behind her, resuming her vigil at his bedside. She looked to his bedside table and picked up the plate of cottage pie Marlene had left for her, forcing one bite and then another into her mouth, drinking a tall glass of water, refilling it, and drinking again before Vanishing the plate and taking James' hand in hers.
"Where did Peter go?" Lily asked, looking around the Hospital Wing, shocked to find Mr. Crouch's bed unoccupied. "And, Mr. Crouch? I didn't see them leave,"
"Some warlock's from the Auror department came by five minutes ago, just after you left," Mr. Potter explained. "Peter has gone for his dinner, I suspect,"
They sat in silence for a minute or two, Lily struggling to come to grips with the shifting sands of her present reality. It all seemed so sudden, James' injury, Frank's disappearance. Why had Snape and one of his mates been in Hogsmeade for anyway? What business had they away from the castle in the early hours of the morning?
"How long have you two been seeing each other?" Mrs. Potter asked softly.
Lily moved to release James' hand before tugging at her jumper sleeves. Surely they knew something, Lily thought, madly. She recalled James' frustration at reaching his parents through the Owl Post, something about opened packages? And wasn't she here, wearing his jumper in front of them?
"Not… very long," Lily said quietly, taking a deep breath and looking his mother in the eye. It was silly to be ashamed; Lily had seen James' parents on the platform at King's Cross for seven years. Their parents knew each other. But it was different, was it not? Last night, in a moment of desperation and panic, Mrs. Potter had been there for her, calming her down, lessening the emotional burden. Had she known then? Had she suspected? Surely Mrs. Potter knew that there was something there between Lily and her son. How could she not have?
"James told us about you four months ago," Mr. Potter said with an exhale, looking up with a half-smile. "This isn't an intervention, Lily. We don't mean to alarm you. You mean a great deal to him if his letters are anything to go by,"
"He loves you very much," Mrs. Potter said with a smile, reaching across James' chest for Lily's hand. Lily gripped it firmly, tucking Mrs. Potter's fingers gently against her own.
Lily smiled, wiping her eyes on the back of her hand. She let go of Mrs. Potter's hand to dab at her eyes and looked up to see a familiarly embroidered handkerchief in her hand.
"For you," Mrs. Potter said, pressing the hankie into Lily's hand. "I have far too many,"
"Thank you," Lily said, wiping her eyes. Unlike James', a soft and curling EIP was embroidered on the corner in red thread. "I already have one of yours; James gave it to me,"
Mrs. Potter smiled, squeezing her hand gently before letting go.
"He's changed since we last saw him," Mr. Potter said, his words slow and carefully worded. Lily hesitated, wondering what he was going to say next. "Jumping in front of a curse to save his friends, that instinct he was born with. But he's grown, nonetheless, and we have you to thank for that, I suppose,"
Lily smiled, but even to herself, it felt weak, unsure. Had James changed because of her? Did she merit such alteration to his character? She couldn't have pictured herself living in the same space with him six months ago, and here she was, holding his hand in front of his parents. Where could they be six months from now? Lily blushed to consider it, but she could no longer imagine herself living happily without him.
"Lily, you should get some sleep," Mr. Potter said, watching her carefully.
"No, I'll be okay for a while," said Lily, tucking her knees up to her chest. "I slept last night, but … It's been a long day. You're welcome to use our dormitory. I'll watch over him,"
Mr. and Mrs. Potter exchanged a look. Mr. Potter raised a word of protest, but Mrs. Potter turned to her son, kissing him on the forehead and grasping his hand tightly in her own.
"You will let us know if there's news?" Mr. Potter said, looking at James with a worried expression.
"Of course," Lily said. "Peter shouldn't be much longer, and Marlene's stopping by as soon as she's able to."
"I'm worried for Sirius," Mrs. Potter said anxiously. "It's been hours; he and Remus should've been back by now,"
"Sirius has a good head on his shoulders," Lily said. "I didn't use to think so, but he's proven me otherwise lately. They'll have James' best interests at heart."
"Watch over our son," Mr. Potter said, leaning down suddenly and kissing her forehead. "He needs you, now,"
Lily blushed down to her feet, gripping James' hand in a way that felt almost desperate. Something tangible to hold while everything seemed to be tilting out of her control. Nevertheless, she swallowed and considered his parents. Older, but caring, gentle, loving, where her own parents had not been. She had only really spoken to them alone today, and she trusted them explicitly.
"I will," Lily said, watching as James' parents walked out of the Hospital Wing and out of sight.
...
Time seemed to bleed, moving forward without consideration for her unoccupied mind. Minutes and hours passed without news, Healers, as well as Peter and Marlene and the others, kept her company but nothing seemed to change. She ate when she was hungry, rested when she was tired, but James remained the same, safe but in hopeless danger at the same time.
She thought back to what Mrs. Potter had said about Sirius, how worried she was. And despite the deep anxiety Lily felt for James' wellbeing, Sirius was the one frightened her. Sirius was the one who rescued James, who had carried him back to the castle; he was the one whose actions could very easily fall to either side if James' condition was to worsen. She remembered how anxious he had looked, tight but unreadable at the same time. At Lupin's declaration, Lily had watched as Sirius tightened his fists and set his expression. Hopelessness and grief covered every facet of his stance.
Lily waited for what seemed like hours, alone with James. She had no way of knowing what Lupin and Sirius were doing, nor where they were or how soon they were likely to return. She wished she did, if not only for some friendly company. She wanted to reach for him, to adjust the piece of fringe that fell over his eyes, but what difference would it make? Where was that map of theirs when she needed it?
James was still unconscious, and although the bleeding had slowed and he wasn't in danger of imminent death, he still looked dead. His skin was chalky and pale, his lips bloodless and parted slightly, breath rising in near gasping pants as if there wasn't enough air to be had. Despite the mediwitches' magic, the smell of blood hung heavy in the air.
She was so tired; it had been hours since the healers had left, hours since Sirius and Lupin had left for God knows where. Lily was grateful to have given her space to the Potter's, but when was she going to sleep? How much longer until she was allowed to rest? Nonetheless, she was thankful for Sirius, if not only for his sense of self-preservation. It had saved James' life.
"He needn't have had to help if Sev hadn't cursed you in the first place," Lily muttered, fingers tangled in James' collar. "If he had had any decency, he wouldn't have cursed without looking."
Lily tried not to look, focusing her eyes on the window over James' shoulder, tears burning in her eyes. Maybe it was the exhaustion, the emotional toll of nearly losing him to curse damage, dead because Severus had attacked him. It had been almost two years since that day by the beech tree, and Lily was sure she was past this. Sev had made his choice, and he had chosen himself and his mates over her.
He wasn't it for her, and where it had once been easy to look past his shaky morality, she couldn't justify it now. It was so clear to her— like a screen had moved between her perception of him and reality. Severus was tall but sallow and thin. He had a stammer, and his robes were several sizes too small, patched and faded. When they were growing up, Lily was his only friend, and their friendship was obsessive and controlling, even if she hadn't seen it at the time. Sev wanted to know everything about her, her friends, what she was doing, and where she was going. He had his fingers dipped into every aspect of her life, for good or ill, and she felt like a fly caught in the middle of a web, trapped and vulnerable. There was a time when she didn't think that she could live without him, the clever turn of phrase at an off-colour joke, his comments on blood purity. She didn't see it then, but how could she not have? It was all there, plain as day, from the very beginning.
But, she supposed, he was the one who had told her about magic. He was the gate to all of this; Severus was the one with the answers when her parents divorced, and her relationship with Petunia soured. Snape was there for her through all of that. But was it because he cared about her or couldn't bear to lose her? He had once been her only friend, and for years he had fought to keep it that way.
Lily's blood boiled at the thought that Sev only kept her around as an object of fascination, but it was true, wasn't it? He wanted her because Lily had grown up passively, and Severus needed someone to control. Someone who trusted him implicitly, took his word as it came, did what he wanted when asked. And when his ambition took him to higher quarters Lily wasn't willing to go; he had abandoned her.
But James was different; he was gentle where Severus was rough, kind where he was blasé. For years, she had thought it was one or the other, but it wasn't true, was it? It could never have been Snape; he would've changed her into something unrecognizable, shaped and moulded her with force into something submissive and belligerent.
James groaned, turning over slightly. His lips parted, and face twisted in pain as he moved, his eyebrows scrunching together in pain. She reached for him, taking hold of his lapels and pressing her forehead to his. She let out a sigh of relief and kissed his forehead before leaning back into her seat.
James made the motion of sitting up, leaning back on an elbow, but she held him back with a gentle hand, shaking slightly against him.
"No, no, stay still," Lily said quickly, moving to cover his hands with her own. "Don't move, it'll agitate the dressings; you have to stay as still as you can,"
James exhaled, falling back against his sheets. He coughed, and his hand returned red, dripping down the side of his mouth. Lily reached in her pocket for his mother's handkerchief, wiping the blood from his lips.
"Evans," James breathed with a smile, and Lily nodded fervently, taking both his hands in hers.
"The others will be back soon," Lily said. "Your parents, they'll want to see you,"
"Is Sirius okay?" James said quickly, looking anxiously around the room. "The others, are they okay?"
"Worried sick, but safe," Lily said, and James exhaled in relief. "They're resting; I said I'd watch you in the meantime,"
"My parents are here?" James asked, his eyes searching into hers. "Why?"
"Why do you think?" Lily said with a tilted eyebrow, and he laughed, his smiling eyes turned towards her. "You're in the Hospital Wing, just in case you didn't notice,"
"It's just a cut, no need to fuss," James said, pulling back the sheets to examine his wounds. The white bandages that covered his torso were numerous but clean and newly applied. He must've still been tender because when she pulled the sheet back up his torso, he winced. "Oh,"
"Worse than you thought," Lily said, not quite able to watch until the sheet was back in place.
"Tis but a flesh wound," James said with a half-smile, leaning back against his cushions with a groan. "Ugh, on second thought, perhaps more than a flesh wound,"
"You were hit by some sort of slashing curse," Lily said, watching him carefully. "Sirius thinks it was Snape who cursed you, but we don't know for sure."
"How bad is it?" James said starkly, his expression firm and intense.
Lily hesitated, but her expression must've given it away. She hated watching him, knowing deep down that his recovery was negligible until they found out what had hit him.
"It's bad," Lily said, biting her lip and taking his hand. James sighed, rubbing the pad of his thumb over hers. "I'm so sorry, James,"
"Sorry? What are you sorry for?" he said incredulously, and Lily looked up in confusion, "God, Evans, do you know how much we have to be thankful for?"
"Uh, what?"
"Well, I'm alive, for starters," James said, counting things off with his fingers. "And you're here, crying over my helpless form and holding my hand…"
Lily sniffed and leant forward to kiss him, brushing her nose against his with a broad smile on her face despite the tears in her eyes.
"James!"
Lily turned to see Sirius and Remus, Peter hot on their heels, enter the room with a hoot of joy. Lily laughed and choked, a flood of emotions overtaking her. The Marauders huddled around James' bed, Mary and Tony, as well as Marlene and the rest of her friends just behind.
A firm hand grasped her shoulder, and Mr. Potter looked down on her with a smile on his lips, watching with happiness as his wife embraced James, brushing the fringe out of his eyes.
"How are you feeling, mate?" Lupin asked.
"Just as well as one could expect," James said, and Lily laughed; the sound contagious and overflowing with joy. "And where have you lot been?"
"We have news, actually," Tony said, taking Mary's hand gently in his.
"We have a lead on where Frank might be held," Mary said, watching as Lupin and Sirius shared a look of excitement. "He has to be in the castle, most likely not in a room so much as a holding place, between the walls or up in the parapets. It's unlikely that he's in Hogsmeade or on the grounds, or the Aurors would have found him before now. The castle's magical architecture is helping Frank's assailants more than his rescuers at this point."
"We have news as well," Lupin said, turning to Sirius, who crossed his arms and considered James. "It's just a theory,"
"A damn good theory, I'd say," Sirius said gruffly, a note of pride in his voice.
"Nonetheless, the theory goes that the curse Snape used wasn't regulated. Remember levicorpus? He invented that in fifth year,"
"And many a sore buttock due to it," Marlene said with a groan, and Amelia nodded solemnly.
"As well as the counter-curse," Lupin continued. "It wasn't the only spell he invented, but the working theory holds if we assume that Snape didn't learn the curse he used, but rather invented it. And if he invented it, potentially, if he's willing to, he could counter it,"
"It could save James' life,"
"If he's willing to help," said Mary. "And indeed, if one can find him. He knows every hide-y hole in the castle,"
"Not all of them, and not quite so well as those present," Sirius said, pulling a piece of parchment from inside his robes and laying it on James' knees. He pointed his wand at the front and muttered a phrase before words spread and corridors appeared, footsteps with names written above them moving throughout the castle. Sirius looked up to gauge Tony and Amelia's expression, smiling at their looks of apprehension and confusion while the others searched for Snape.
"Found him," Lily said finally, pointing to a corridor off the dungeons. Snape's footsteps paced the small space, and Sirius grinned.
"He hasn't moved for hours," Lupin said, "but it's not just about finding him; we also have to convince him. We can't force him to undo dark magic without his consent,"
"Do we have any unsavoury knowledge on him we could use to our benefit?
"Blackmail," Sirius said, pointing at Marlene and snapping his fingers. "I like the way you think, McKinnon,"
"There was that time in the Whomping Willow—" Peter began.
"No," Lupin said firmly. "Literally anything else, not that,"
"What are they talking about?" Alice asked, leaning over to Lily. But Lily watched Sirius, whose expression had closed while Peter and James tried to convince Sirius otherwise.
"It's our best shot," James said finally. "I saved his damn life, and he'd remember that. He'd be dead if not for me,"
"So saying that we both find Snape and convince him to help, what's to say he won't refuse?" Mr. Potter said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "It seems a reach to me. You boys have never had a good relationship with Snape,"
"We don't need to like him," Sirius said, and Lily balked as the Marauders turned towards her. "He loved Evans; we can use that against him,"
"No," Lily said, "this is mental; Sev would never agree to help you. He's— he's cursed James once, what's to say he won't do it again?"
"She has a point," Marlene said.
"We have to try," Peter said. "James won't get any better without Snape's help. And— and we know where he is! The plan is solid,"
"What do you think?" Mrs. Potter said, turning towards her son. James looked so weak, but he set his expression and nodded.
"He'll do as he's told," James said, closing his eyes. "Once Pads' has gotten through with him, there won't be enough left of him to put in a matchbox,"
…
It was agreed that Marlene, Lupin and Sirius would go to confront Snape while the others waited. The map lay open on James' knees, and Lily couldn't help watching their footsteps as they approached where Snape was hiding.
Her friends were slumped around James' bed—Mary across from her, head resting in folded hands. Peter was bent in a chair, Amelia and Tony leant against the wall. Mr. and Mrs. Potter sat with Lily in their chairs around James' bedside.
Lily squeezed James' hand in her own, but he was too tired to respond. Mrs. Potter had given him another draught of blood replenishing potion, doused with a heavy dose of pepper up potion. If it had helped, Lily couldn't tell. He looked as drained and exhausted as she'd ever seen him. He was usually constantly in motion, hands fiddling with that Snitch of his father's, flipping his wand about in his hands. James looked almost unnatural, not quite asleep but not awake, either.
"They're coming!" Peter shouted, startling the assembled company.
"Are you sure?" Alice asked, eyes searching over the parchment. "I can't see them,"
"There," Tony said, his finger tracing the path of the group as they moved throughout the castle's corridors. "They're moving quickly,"
They watched anxiously as Marlene led the others through the corridors and back passages to the Hospital Wing. Despite knowing they were coming, Lily jumped when the door swung open, and their friends appeared.
Sirius led Snape into the Hospital Wing with his wand pressed firmly into his neck. Despite Snape's supposed compliance, Lily knew enough about her old friend to realize they had to move quickly before Snape bolted.
"Heal him," Sirius snapped, leading Snape to James' bedside. "Whatever dark magic you did to him, you're the only one who can fix it,"
"What's in it for me?" Snape said, turning to face him.
"What's in it for you?" Said Lupin, aghast. "You don't have the privilege the ask favours,"
"Then why, exactly, should I bother helping him at all?" Severus snapped. Lily watched him closely, but Snape was like a rat in a trap. His movements were carefully made; not one step was made by accident. She knew that Snape had only come because of her, but so long as James survived, she couldn't have cared less.
"Because he's dying," Lily said, standing. Her eyes sparked with anger. "He's dying because of what you did, and if you had any remorse at all, any regard for your immediate health and wellbeing, you'd do whatever it takes,"
"Lily," Severus breathed, his eyes wide and searching. He took several steps toward her, and Lily balked. Severus had cursed James, almost killed him and injured him beyond repair; he wasn't who he used to be. They weren't friends, and Severus had made it very clear where his allegiances lie. But if he was helping James to gain her favour, she could use that to her advantage.
To her surprise, Mr. Potter took stepped beside her, and Severus stopped, his expression bare but unreadable. Lily hadn't before appreciated that James' father was the spitting image of his son, older and taller perhaps, but the same in every way. Even though his only son was unconscious and clinging to life, no fear appeared on Mr. Potter's face. He was calm and reassuring, nodding at her to continue. But when he turned to face Severus, it was intimidating and fierce, an expression she hadn't seen on James before.
"I've kept my word," Severus said, his eyes trained on hers. "I swallowed my words because of you. And I kept them there if you hadn't noticed. No one ever heard from me what happened in the Shrieking Shack,"
"Which was as much to save your own skin as it was anyone else's," Sirius said sharply.
"It doesn't matter," Mr. Potter said, shooting a sharp glance at Sirius.
"And it's appreciated," Lily said, taking a shaky step forward. Lily had grown used to the talk from James and the others of Snape stalking her, but she couldn't put truth to the claim. But now that Lily watched Snape standing in front of her with a wand against his throat, she couldn't think of how she had ever been friends with him. All of the love she had held for him soured into disgust. Severus inhaled quickly, but Lily set her expression and looked up carefully. "And not understated. But he's dying because of your actions, your homemade dark magic, and you'll do as you've said,"
"James saved your life when I deemed it forfeit," Sirius snarled, pushing his wand deeper into Snape's neck. "Lupin would've killed you that day in the woods, but James saved you at great personal expense. He could've been expelled because of you!"
"Because of me," Snape said in a deadly whisper. Sirius pushed his wand in further, a dozen curses on his lips.
"Who else?"
"If I remember correctly, it was you who lured me into the Whomping Willow in the first place. It wouldn't have just been Potter's head on the chopping block, but yours as well,"
"But my son saved you," Mrs. Potter said from the other side of the room. "Despite a deep cost to himself, he might've died coming to your aid. He saved you once before; you owe him a debt,"
"I owe Potter nothing,"
"No?" Sirius asked. "Nothing, you say? The night that Amelia Bones went missing, we went after a shot in the dark, rescued her and brought her back safely. And later, Moody took the blame, but it wasn't Moody, was it? Something felt off about the whole tirade, something I couldn't place at the time, but it was you, wasn't it? Amelia didn't remember who kidnapped her; someone had placed a botched memory charm on her. Enough to forget the face, but not the presence, am I right?"
"You can't prove anything," Snape said sharply.
"No, I'm not finished," Sirius said, folding his arms and staring Snape dead in the eye. "Later, when Moody confessed, James was told as Head Boy to investigate Moody's claim. He found nothing to substantiate Moody having committed the initial act, and his previous history of excellence in the Auror department, as well as character witnesses, found nothing to suggest such an act was of his own doing,"
Snape remained silent, but the continued scrutiny was beginning to have its effect; a twitch began over his left eyebrow. He didn't look intimidating; the adolescent scruff that she had once found so manly and attractive repulsed her. He was shaking, and his fear and bottled-up rage at this confrontation left little doubt in her mind who she trusted and loved more than any other in this world. Sev had lost her trust and humiliated her in public, turned his back on her when she needed him most and nearly killed James in the process.
"And later, just last month, I was investigating you, Snape, but my brother as well, and you'll never guess what I found in the Muggle Studies classroom—"
"ENOUGH!" Snape shouted, his eyes red and bulging. "What do you want from me? Are you going to tell your precious Dumbledore? McGonagall? The Minister for Magic?"
"No, but I daresay that your action in this matter would aid your position, precarious as it may be," Mr. Potter interjected, and Sirius took a step back in surprise. "Thank you, Sirius,"
Sirius sat back down on James' bed like he was forced to, but his demeanour had changed entirely. He was closed off, Lily noticed. And completely unemotional, as if the past few minutes hadn't affected him a fig. It was startling to watch.
"Now, if you please," Mr. Potter said calmly, "the counter-curse,"
Snape fiddled with his wand, flipping it in his hands in a way Lily had seen him do hundreds of times before. But it was different, almost pre-meditated. "And if I refuse?"
"There are less pleasant ways of extracting your aid," Lupin said cooly, taking his wand in hand. "if you so choose to break our agreement,"
"You'll uphold your end of the bargain?"
"We will," Mr. Potter said staunchly. "Without compromise or contradiction. It will be exactly as agreed upon,"
Snape hesitated before taking a step towards James' bedside. He moved with reluctance, his steps short and calculated. He flipped his wand in his palm, and Lily watched carefully as he approached. James didn't look hesitant or upset, but his face was set in a way she hadn't seen before. The two boys made eye contact, and the expression on James' face was calm but intensely focused where Snape looked apprehensive, almost afraid.
"We won't retaliate," Mr. Potter said firmly, his own wand held tightly in his grasp. "There are no conditions, no expectations besides what we've discussed. We won't go to Dumbledore; if you heal him, you'll hear no more of this."
"It's more than he deserves," Lupin said, standing beside Sirius.
"But it's what James deserves," Mrs. Potter said softly, moving to stand with her husband. Watching them felt like walking in on a private moment, a family moment, a mother and son together at the end of the day. James looked so peaceful, so alive, more present because his mother was there. "And you'll do what we've discussed,"
Snape nodded jerkily, head down as Sirius' wand pressed into his back to James' bedside. He drew his wand out from a pocket in his robes and approached James. With a wave of his wand, the bandages that crisscrossed his chest broke apart and lay in strips by his side.
In the open air, the cuts into James' flesh looked too painful to be real. The skin was pale and waxy, the red gashes bleeding as they were uncovered.
Snape swallowed and raised his wand.
He moved slowly, the counter-curse was melodic and mournful, and the deep cuts on James' chest, once uncovered, were painful to look at. Lily watched in abject horror as Snape's wand moved over James' wounds, the blood flow congealing and then slowing. He murmured the incantation slowly, and the flesh began to knit itself back together. James watched Snape's face as he worked, not in condemnation or anger, but a sort of soft-focus that Lily didn't fully understand. They hated each other, didn't they?
Sirius' expression was different though; his attention was squared entirely on Severus, the tip of his wand pressed deeply into the back of Snape's robes. As it passed, each moment felt spring-loaded, almost as if both parties knew that if the other broke the deal, all pretences towards civility would have passed.
The minutes ticked by like hours before the last of James' cuts sealed, and James' body became whole once again. Snape motioned for the bottle of dittany, and Mr. Potter handed it to him without a word, dropping the silvery liquid into the healing scars as Snape directed. The potion helped, but the wounds were deep, and even the dittany couldn't erase the severity of his scars.
"You saved my life, and I've saved yours," Snape said quietly, his eyes fixed on James. "My debt is paid,"
James nodded, and Lily's eyes followed Snape as he walked to the other end of the Hospital Wing, out the door and out of sight.
Sirius dropped his wand in relief as he and the other Marauders' crowded around James' bed. Mrs. Potter seized James' hand and kissed his forehead, but Mr. Potter stayed with Lily, one of his hands clasped with a fatherly affection on her shoulder. She looked over at him, and tears shone in his eyes, so like James'. It had been so long since someone had looked at her like that, without judgement or condemnation, a father who genuinely cared about their child. All at once, without thinking about it, she leant back into Mr. Potter's embrace, tears of relief running down her cheeks.