Chapter Ten

A heart that's broke is a heart that's been loved

"Supermarket Flowers", Ed Sheeran

There was a knock at the door and Rose looked up, her heart pounding in her chest. Every knock had had her like this, but it had never been the one person she wanted to see — needed to see.

This time, however, this time —

"Can I talk to you?"

Rose nodded, moving over on her bed to make room for Ron. He looked as uncomfortable as she felt — a new emotion for both of them. They'd never been like this. He was the person she was able to tell anything to.

"Dad. I'm —"

"Let me go first, Rosie," he pleaded.

Rosie. She'd never loved that nickname more. She nodded.

"Rosie, I hate what happened last night. I wish none of it happened. I will probably never forgive myself for what I said to you, but…" He turned teary eyes toward her, which caught Rose off guard. She'd never seen him cry before. She hadn't even thought it was something he did.

"Dad…" She reached out and rubbed his arm. She wished she could do more.

His other hand closed over hers and warmth surged through her.

"I don't want you to cry," she whispered.

He gave her a half smile. "After all the times I've seen you cry? Really? Things could have turned out very different last night. Give me a small break."

Was that a joke he was trying to make? She thought so, so she laughed. He smiled.

"I'll give you the biggest break ever if you forgive me for what I said."

He thought about it for a moment. Then he nodded. "I can forgive you for that. I know you didn't mean it. I didn't mean it either. But I'm not sure I can forgive you for staying with me."

"I did what anyone would have done," Rose said. "Mum would have stayed with you, too."

"Your mother can at least cast a Patronus to try and defend herself," Ron said gently, still smiling. "You were completely defenceless against them."

"Yes, I know. But I tried to —"

"Rose, you're not getting it." His smile had gone again. Tears rolled down his cheeks now, and Rose was torn between looking away and wanting to hug him. She regretfully chose the former. "I was willing to do whatever it took to keep you safe, but by you not listening to me, it was almost all for nothing. We both would have been gone."

Rose fell silent. She'd not thought of it like that. Her dad had been willing to make the ultimate sacrifice, but she'd also been willing to do the same. Then they both would have died. "I'm-I'm sorry."

"It's okay. But just know I'm extremely angry with you for it."

She nodded, her heart sinking. Was this what he had come here to talk to her about? To tell her that he'd not be able to forgive her?

They sat in silence for a moment, neither looking at the other. It was Rose who spoke first again. "Dad, do you know what happened to that Muggle?"

Ron shook his head. "There was nothing that could be done, Rosie. It's not your fault, though!" he added hurriedly, turning to see her defeated expression.

"I tried. I really tried to help him. I tried to make a Patronus, but I just couldn't. I… I couldn't think of anything happy in that moment."

"They were very powerful Dementors, Rosie. More powerful than I've ever seen. It took everything I had to cast that Patronus and it was relatively weak —"

"It was strong," Rose insisted. "It really was!"

Ron shrugged. "It took a lot of effort, a lot of power to conjure that, Rosie. If… it wasn't you there I'm not sure I could have managed it at all."

Rose studied him for a moment. "You had to use a really happy memory, didn't you?"

He nodded.

"Your wedding?" Rose guessed. He always said it was one of the happiest days of his life, marrying Hermione.

"What? Rosie, no. I love your mum with all of my heart, and then some, but… I had to use something deeper than that. Something that I've cherished as my fondest memory from the moment it happened. Something that I think about every time I look at you."

Rose swallowed. "Me?"

Ron nodded. "The moment I held you in my arms." He looked at her affectionately. "The first time I saw you and I could hold you and I could finally lay eyes on the little girl I wanted more than anything else in this world."

"I'm your memory?" Rose asked, feeling her own tears threatening to fall.

"Rosie, when you were placed in my arms, I was so scared to hold you, but at the same time I didn't want to let you go. It was a moment of my life - the moment - where I felt unconditional love for the very first time. I knew in that moment that there were no longer any boundaries. That no matter what happened, what you did, I'd love you. Forever."

Rose was speechless. She stared at him, her mouth slightly open. She knew he wasn't good at expressing his feelings with words, and therefore this was taking a lot out of him to tell her how he felt. With her, he'd never had to before. She'd always known.

"From that moment on, I was a dad and it is a role I've cherished ever since. I was first yours, then eventually Hugo's, and the two of you became my life. No one else could make me feel as happy and as worried as you two have. There's no one else in this world I love more than my kids. Being an Auror, getting my name on a chocolate frog card… that's nothing in comparison to how proud I am of both of you. I'd trade it all in, in a heartbeat, to have you and never lose you, Rosie." He nodded. "That was my happy memory. That's why I could cast that Patronus then. Because that moment I held you is the very moment I loved you and when I vowed that if you were ever in danger, I'd do whatever it took to protect you. And that includes offering myself up to the Dementors in exchange for your safety."

"Were you scared?" Rose asked.

"Of say succumbing to the Dementors is a fate worse than death. No one wants it to happen to them."

"But you did it for me?"

"And you did it for me?" Ron smiled at her as she blushed.

"Dad… you're… you're basically my hero, if I want to use that term."

"Rosie, it wasn't heroic —"

"No, I mean… for everything. I've always been so proud to be your daughter. I mean, you and Mum are basically heroes. Everyone says it. I know you don't like talking about it, but I've learnt enough at school to understand what it is you went through and the sacrifices you made. It makes me really proud that I can say I not only know those heroes, but they're my family."

"And they love you," Ron said, smiling again. "And, I think we can include your Uncle in that statement too. Not just your mother and I."

Rose tossed him the chocolate frog card that she'd slept with under her pillow over night. "I kept it," she said. "I thought it was cool, even if no one else did. They're for people who have lived good lives. Who have made a difference in some way. Not many people can say their dad is on one. Or their mum, as well. I'm super proud."

Ron picked the card up, looking at it with deep fascination. "They could have chosen a better picture, you know?"

Rose laughed. "I think you look great. Too professional, though."

"Yeah. I agree. Maybe I'll write to them and let them know…" He handed her back the card.

Rose bit her lip. "I really like Scorpius. I thought you'd be mad if you found out, so I thought I'd make it easier if I avoided talking to you about it. I never meant to be so horrible to you. I never meant to say anything that I said. I didn't think it would go that far. I just didn't want you to tell me how bad you thought it was that I was with him."

"Well, in truth, Rosie, I already knew. I've known for a while. Quite frankly, I didn't care if you talked to me about it or not. I just wanted to talk to you. My daughter."

Rose felt herself go red. She remembered all of his attempts to speak to her, and how she'd yelled at him every time.

"I just want you to be happy, Rosie."

"Even if it's with someone you hate?"

"I don't hate Scorpius Malfoy. I've never met him to hate him. Do you plan on introducing us at any point?"

"You… you want to meet him?" Rose asked, slightly bewildered.

"Well, I do need to make sure he's treating you right."

"He is. I just assumed you wouldn't want to —"

"You've done a very good job at assuming things lately. Maybe it's time you let me decide how I'm feeling, okay?"

"Okay." She looked at him, feeling fresh tears roll down her cheeks. She couldn't contain herself anymore. Even if she was fifteen and no longer needed him as much as she used to, surely she was not too old for a hug? "I really am sorry!" She threw herself into his arms, burying her face against his chest. He welcomed it, wrapping his arms tightly around her. Hugging him had never felt so good.

His chin rested on top of her head. He was shaking. Was he crying again?

She pulled away, looking up to see more tears falling from his own eyes. This time, she smiled, reaching up to wipe them away. "You're not meant to cry," she teased.

He smiled, laughing slightly. "Sorry."

She hugged him again, understanding why he was crying. He'd missed her, just as much as she'd missed him. If only she'd talked to him, told him how she was feeling, she knew now that he would have been okay with everything. She wouldn't have wasted a whole summer of not speaking with her dad — her favourite person in the whole world.

"If I had told you about Scorpius, would you have liked it?" She pulled away, staring into his blood shot eyes.

"No, but I would have understood," he said. "Or at least, tried to. I was your age once, you know. I do know what it's like to like someone."

She nodded. "And if one day we get married…"

"Let's not get too far ahead," Ron said, grinning. "You haven't… done anything with him, have you?" he then asked, frowning.

"Only kissed him," Rose assured him.

He nodded. "Well let's keep it that way for a few more years, yeah? You don't want to make any decisions you might regret. Not when you're fifteen."

He sounded so serious, Rose burst into a fit of giggles.

"What's so funny?" Ron asked.

"You."

"Why?"

"Because you say it as if you made those decisions at fifteen, when I know for a fact that your only serious relationship has been with Mum, and that happened when you were eighteen. She told me."

"Well, let's hope it's the same for you," Ron said.

Rose grinned and Ron placed a kiss on her forehead. He climbed up from her bed. "Now, how much longer are you going to hide up here for?"

"It depends."

"On what?"

"Am I truly forgiven?"

"For being so distant during the one time each year I get to see you? Yes. For putting my life above your own… never."

"Dad —"

"You'll understand one day, Rosie, but for now, why don't you come and see your family. I'm not the only one who's missed you. And I think there's some things you need to say to your brother to repair some damage you've caused."

"Is he mad?"

"Scared, more than anything. He's used to his big sister sticking up for him, not attacking him, especially for something he didn't do."

"He didn't tell you?" Rose asked.

Ron shook his head. "No, he didn't."

"Then how —"

"Are you coming downstairs, or not?"

Desperate to not get into any more arguments with her dad, ever, Rose nodded and jumped up from her bed. She slipped her hand into his and he squeezed tightly. "So, where do I start in saying sorry?"

"I think your brother is a good place to start," Ron said. "What do you think?"

Rose nodded. She'd been in such a rage that she barely remembered what had happened. What she did remember was seeing the absolute fear in his eyes, perhaps believing she'd go as far as to kill him.

She'd never felt more shame than she did in that moment. Hugo was her brother, and she'd spent her whole life sticking up for him. He lacked the ability to do it for himself most of the time, preferring to lay low and not draw attention to himself. She never should have done what she had.

As they left her room, she couldn't help but ask again. "If Hugo didn't tell you, who did? I won't get mad. I promise."

Ron laughed. "You told us, Rosie."

"No I didn't."

Ron nodded. "You did. Not in as many words, but every letter you sent us this year had at least one mention of him. You probably didn't realise, but we worked it out."

"He could have just been my friend."

"He could have, yes. But we knew it was more."

"How?"

Ron smiled. "I'll let you in on a little secret, Rosie. When you like someone, they seem to pop up in conversations without you even realising. When they're on your mind, you talk about them. It's how our brains work. But I don't understand how brains work all that well. I just knew because I used to do that about your mother without realising. Apparently your grandmother worked it out because I mentioned her in every letter, but Harry might have popped up in every few. She never did say anything to me, though. Might have helped if she had. As it might have helped if I'd said something to you. Your mother, well she's smart like that. She just knew."

"Knew what?" Rose asked, descending the stairs. "About me and Scorpius, or that you fancied her long before you told her?"

"Both, probably," Ron said with a shrug. "As I said, she's smart. The cleverest person I know."

Hugo and Hermione were waiting in the living room. Seeing them, Hugo backed away, closer to Hermione.

Rose winced. They'd hadn't always gotten along, but she'd always stuck up for her little brother when it counted. And they never fought anywhere near as much as James and Albus did. Seeing him scared of her was possibly a bigger wake up call than her dad no longer wanting to speak to her.

She looked up at Ron, who nodded encouragingly. She had a hell of a lot of things to apologise for, and she had absolutely no idea how to start.

Thank you for all of your kind comments. Only one more chapter and the epilogue left of this!

If you are interested in reading more from, I have just published When I Have You - a post-war Romione that will be A LOT longer than this. I'd love to hear your thoughts on that one too!