Alex couldn't stop smiling as she walked down the hall towards the cafeteria. She kept rubbing her thumb over the bracelet on her left wrist. It wasn't a bonding bracelet. However ready Kara might be for that, Alex wasn't ready to get married. Not yet. But when Kara had suggested betrothal bracelets, Alex had jumped at the idea. She loved the idea of a visible, tangible symbol that Kara belonged to her. So, Sunday afternoon, they'd climbed onto her dad's Ducati, and driven down to the mall, and picked out a pair of bracelets. Nothing fancy, just a pair of plain sterling silver cuffs. They brought them home, and Kara had used her heat vision to engrave the House of El Coat of Arms and the name Danvers on the outside of the cuff, and a prayer to Rao in both English and Kryptonian on the inside. 'May Father Rao light our path towards each other and bless the day we become one.'
She'd felt a little giddy ever since Kara has slipped the bracelet on her wrist, which was strange, because as a rule, Alex didn't do giddy. Of course, part of that might have been the hours between them getting home from school, and Eliza coming home, which for the last four days they had spent making out on the couch, or in one of their beds. She suspected the fact that they'd slept in the same bed the last six nights might also have something to do with it.
Honestly, the last few days had felt like she and Kara were in a bubble filled with nothing but each other and happiness and she just wanted to stay there forever. Just keep stealing every moment they could for them. That had been the one thing they disagreed on over the last few days. Kara had insisted that they had to tell Clark and Eliza. Alex had tried to point out that they couldn't get married if Eliza killed her, but she'd discovered that it was very, very hard to argue with your girlfriend when she had a hand on your boob and was running her tongue along the shell of your ear. Alex would have actually admired how sneaky and underhanded Kara was, if it hadn't meant that she'd ended up agreeing to tell Eliza what was going on. And Clark. Who was coming to dinner that night. To find out that Alex had been defiling his cousin.
Alex was pretty sure that she was going to have to make it a hard and fast rule that they were not allowed to make decisions while Kara was on second base. Or first base. Or any base. She didn't want to even think about what she might agree to if Kara asked her while she was on third base. Steal the hope diamond. Assassinate the President. Admit to Eliza that she'd tried pot a couple of times.
She'd worry about how whipped she was, if Kara hadn't already had her wrapped around her finger.
She turned the corner into the cafeteria and looked over towards their usual table, hoping to catch a glimpse of Kara, but what she saw was like a bucket of ice water dumped over her. Kara was sitting at their usual table, smiling and talking to Tina, who was sitting right next to her.
She felt a surge of the same jealousy she'd felt the day Tina had come to the house, and was half tempted to turn around and go find somewhere else to be for lunch, but Kara looked over at her, and gave her a huge smile, and Alex knew she couldn't run, so she forced herself to smile back, and headed for the lunch line.
It only took her a couple of minutes to get her food. It was pizza day, so she got an extra slice for Kara, even though she knew Kara would have already gotten herself at least four, then she headed over to their table and took her usual seat across from Kara.
"Hey," Kara said, giving her the same look she always gave her right before she leaned in for a kiss. "You remember Tina?"
The question was stupid. Of course she remembered Tina. It was hard not to remember the tramp who had kissed the girl she was in love with.
"Of course," Alex said. "Sorry if I didn't say much last weekend."
"It's okay," Tina said. "Kara told me you weren't feeling well. Feeling better, I hope."
"Yeah. Much."
"Tina just stopped by to tell me she's got a date," Kara said.
"Oh?" Alex said, feeling a bit of the jealously slip away as she turned to look at Tina.
"Yeah," Tina said. "You know Jo Parker?"
"Yeah. The butch girl in Drama club that always wears the denim work shirts."
Tina smiled a big, dreamy smile. "Yeah. Honestly, I've had a thing for her since freshman year, but I could never work up the guts to ask her out. Funny thing, she just came up to me this morning and asked if I wanted to go to the art festival up in Coast City tomorrow."
"That sounds great," Alex said.
"Yeah," Tina said. "I'm really excited." She stood up and picked up her tray. "I'll get out of your guys way, so you can enjoy your lunch."
"Bye," Kara said.
"Bye," Tina said.
"Bye," Alex said, feeling more than a little relief as she watched her walk away.
"You don't need to be jealous," Kara said.
"What?" Alex said, turning back to Kara. "I'm not… Am I that obvious?"
"Only to me," Kara said. "I can hear your heartbeat."
"That is so not fair."
"You love me anyway," Kara said, a smug little grin on her face.
"Yeah," Alex said. "I kind of do."
"If it makes you feel better, I actually told Jo that Tina had a crush on her."
"You did?" Alex asked.
"Yep," Kara said. "I suggested the art festival too."
"That was really nice of you."
"I just felt kind of bad, you know. She was so nice to me, sitting with me when you weren't here to make sure no one bullied me because I'm gay and wanting to make sure I had people to hang out with next year while you're away at college, but then everything happened with us and I just kind of ditched her. And I thought, you know, she seems a bit lonely, and she mentioned thinking Jo was cute. Jo and I have Spanish class together so I talked to her a bit and found out that she'd wanted to ask Tina out, but she figured the hot cheerleader wouldn't be interested. I figured since I couldn't hang out with Tina anymore, I'd do a little matchmaking."
Alex stared at Kara for a minute, and felt her heart melt just a little, because Kara was giving up a friendship because she knew it would make Alex jealous. It was sweet, and touching, and just the fact that she was going to do it without Alex asking meant more to Alex than she could say. It also meant she couldn't let Kara do that.
"You could, if you want to."
"Could what?" Kara asked.
"Hang out with Tina."
"Really?" Kara asked, and Alex knew from the smile on her face, she'd made the right decision.
"Yeah."
"It won't make you jealous?"
"Maybe a little, but I'll deal with it," Alex said. "I want to be a good girlfriend. Not the kind that runs your life. I want you to be happy, and if hanging out with Tina makes you happy, then you should. Just no more kissing her, okay?"
"Deal," Kara said.
"Besides, this way, I know you'll have someone to hang out with after Mom kills me tonight."
"She's not going to kill you."
"She totally is, but honestly, the past few days are worth it."
"You really mean that?"
"I really do."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
The air was filled with tension as they settled down in the living room. Kara wasn't really surprised. Eliza and Clark both knew something was up. The fact that Kara had called Clark and asked him to make one of his rare appearances was a pretty big clue to begin with, but they had both been picking up on either signals throughout the night. Clark had caught sight of the bracelet on Kara's wrist the moment she'd opened the door, and while Clark might not speak Kryptonian as fluently as she would like, and might be missing a lot of the subtleties of Kryptonian culture, he had the basics down well enough to recognize a betrothal bracelet.
Dinner had been another clue. Eliza had given up on trying to feed two Kryptonians, and had put two party sized trays of frozen lasagna in the over a couple of hours before Clark was supposed to show, and supplemented it with garlic bread and a few other things. When Alex had finished her first piece of lasagna, instead of reaching for another, she's waited while Kara put another piece on her plate, then given half to Alex. Dessert had been brownies topped with ice cream and hot fudge, and as soon as Eliza had sat Alex's plate down, she has cut a corner of the brownie and put it on Kara's plate. The simple ritual was more symbolic than anything else. The sharing of food to indicate a willingness to share the wealth and plenty of your house. Eliza had just given them a puzzled look, but she'd watched Clark's eyebrows clime towards his hairline both times.
Once dinner was over, she and Clark had used a bit of super speed to clear the table and do the dishes while Alex ran up stairs and grabbed the stack of sketch books Kara had set out on her bedside table. Once the dishes were done, Kara had asked Eliza and Clark to join her and Alex in the living room, which had led them to this moment. Her and Alex sitting side by side on the couch, hands linked, fingers threaded together, while Eliza and Clark sat in the two easy chairs that faced the couch.
Kara could hear Alex's heart racing, which wasn't surprising at all. She knew Alex was nervous about telling Eliza about their feelings. She'd managed to convince her that it would be better to tell Eliza than for her to walk in on them while they were distracted and found out that way. She hoped that Eliza would be more inclined to listen to reason if they were having a nice, calm discussion, instead of catching them in the middle of some of the things they were doing.
What she hadn't told Alex was that she was terrified that Eliza wasn't going to react well even if they told her like this. She was afraid that when this was over, she'd be going back to Metropolis with Clark, or that he'd take her to Kansas to stay with the Kents. Neither of those were good options, but Kara didn't feel like she had a choice. She couldn't hide what she felt for Alex, and even if she could, she didn't want to. She might have to hide among humans, but she was still Kryptonian, and while taking a lover was a purely private matter, taking a bondmate was something different altogether. If she was going to have a relationship with Alex, if she was going to bond with her, she had to have the approval of Alex's head of House. She had to have Eliza's approval. And the thought of Alex as anything less than her bondmate was completely unacceptable.
"So, what's all this about?" Eliza asked, breaking the silence that had settled over them.
Kara glanced over at Alex, who looked ready to bolt from the room, but she looked back and Kara and gave her a small nod, and Kara had to stop herself from leaning in and kissing Alex. She was always so brave, and Kara loved her for it. She squeezed Alex's hand, and turned back to Eliza.
"It's kind of a long story," Kara said, "but it started the day Clark brought me here. I'm not sure how much he told you about the few days between the time I landed, and the time he brought me to live with you, but there was a bit of a language barrier. I didn't speak English at all, and Clark's Kryptonian was… terrible." She gave Clark an apologetic look. "Sorry."
He shrugged. "It's the truth."
"One of the problems he had, aside from the fact that he had somehow picked up a thick Kryptonopolis accent, was that while he knew the literal translation of most Kryptonian vocabulary, he didn't understand connotation associated with certain words."
"I'm not sure what you mean, Sweetie," Eliza said.
"The example I used when I explained this to Alex is the difference between 'Jane is giving me a ride to the movies Friday night' and 'Jane is taking me to the movies Friday night'. Taken literally, they have the exact same meaning, but someone familiar with the cultural connotations of each phrase will understand that the first implies that Jane is providing me with transportation, while the second would imply that Jane is taking me on a date."
"Okay," Eliza said. "I think I follow."
"When Clark brought me here, he told me I would be joining your family. He should have used the word 'serni' but he said 'uvrreoshi'. Both literally translate to 'will be joining', but they have different connotations. On Krypton, 'uvrreoshi' meant 'will be marrying'. The phrasing didn't really make any sense, but when I saw Alex, I assumed that Clark had arranged a betrothal. I was of the right age. My parents were already in talks to make the arrangements when Krypton exploded, so the only part that was unusual to me was being fostered by my fiancé's family."
"You thought you were going to marry Alex?" Eliza asked.
"Yes," Kara said.
"Oh, God," Clark said. He reached up, pushing his glasses up onto his forehead and covering his face with both hands. "Kara, I am so sorry."
"I know," Kara said. "I'm not mad. Not anymore. Not for a long time."
"How long did you think you were going to marry Alex?" Eliza asked.
"Eight months," Kara said. "I figured it out right before Halloween that first year."
"I remember that," Eliza said. "You started crying during dinner."
"Yeah."
"Why didn't you say something?" Eliza asked.
"What could I say?" Kara asked. "I'm crying because I just figured out I'm not marrying your daughter? It was as much my mistake as Clark's. If I had paid more attention to human customs, made more of an effort to learn how to fit in, I would have realized my mistake sooner. Maybe even before I fell in love with Alex."
Clark and Eliza both stared at her for a moment, shock written on their faces.
"You have to understand, on Krypton, marriages were not about love. They were partnerships. They weren't about lust and passion or love. They were about people coming together, sharing burdens, caring for each other in times of need. Your partner is meant to be a source of strength and comfort. The ideal for a Kryptonian marriage was that your spouse became your best friend, your closest companion, and your partner in all things. Those first few months, before Jeremiah died, Alex took care of me, protected me, taught me had to blend in, taught me how to function in a new world. She held me at night, when I woke up from nightmares about Krypton or Earth burning, or when I couldn't stop crying because I missed my parents. She was the perfect bond mate even if she didn't realize it.
"When I realized Clark's mistake, I decided not to say anything, and I didn't. Not for years. But a couple of weeks ago, a boy asked me on a date during lunch at school, and I said no. He asked me why, and I told him it was because I prefer girls. I didn't mean for anyone else to overhear it, but most of the people in the cafeteria did, including Alex. On the way home, Alex and I talked about it. I told her that on Krypton, I had asked my father to arrange a betrothal to a girl named Thara Ak-Var. She was my best friend, and I couldn't think of anyone else I would have rather bonded with. My parents had talked to hers, and were negotiating the betrothal when Krypton exploded. Alex asked me why I hadn't told her before, and I didn't answer. I wasn't sure how to answer without telling her the truth, so I asked if we could talk about it later. She agreed, but after that, she started acting different. Pulling away, and I didn't know why."
Kara turned to Alex. When they'd talked about what to say, they'd agreed that Alex should be the one to talk about the next part, but Kara wanted to make sure Alex was still okay with that. Looking at her, she was sure Alex was anything but okay with it. She looked ready to throw up, but she just nodded at Kara and turned to look at Eliza, and Kara couldn't help but smile at how brave Alex was being.
"I've been having feelings for a long time that were confusing," Alex said. "Things I didn't really understand. At first, it was with Vicki. I loved spending time with her, sleeping at her house, sleeping in her bed, cuddling up with her. I'd get jealous and angry anytime she went out with a boy, and I always felt this sense of relief when she broke up with them, or said she didn't want a second date. I thought I was a terrible person for it, because I should want my friend to have a boyfriend and be happy, but I couldn't get past it. But after everything that happened with Kenny, Kara and I got close, and I realized I'd started to have the same sort of feelings towards Kara, only they were a lot stronger.
"When that boy asked Kara out it kind of sent my jealousy into overdrive. I didn't really understand why, and I thought I was just a terrible person. I should want Kara to be happy, to find a boyfriend and fall in love, but even the thought made me a little sick. But then I found out she liked girls, and somehow, that was worse. I couldn't stop thinking about what it would be like watching girls ask her out, watching Kara date them and kiss them, and it made me realize why I was jealous. I wanted to be the one to kiss her.
"I didn't really react well to that. I started pulling away from Kara, trying to stop myself from thinking about it, from feeling it, but I couldn't sleep, I could barely eat. By the end of the week, you I was in such bad shape you made me stay home from school. I spent the whole day trying to get my feelings in check, and I thought I managed it, but then the next day, Kara invited Tina over, and I walked in on them kissing and it hurt so bad I thought I might die. I ran out and just sat on the beach until she was gone."
Kara gave Alex's hand a small squeeze. "After Alex walked in on us, Tina and I had a talk. I told her I wasn't really in a place where I could get into a relationship with her. Once she left, Alex and I had a long talk. I told her everything. Clark's mistake, that I fell in love with her before I realized that we weren't supposed to get married, that I'd spent the last few years hiding my feelings. I thought, maybe if she had a chance to tell me she didn't want me like that, it would help me move on."
"When she told me, I was shocked. I couldn't really believe it at first, but she showed me her sketchbooks." Alex nodded at the stack of sketchbooks on the table between them. "Once I knew how she felt about me, I told her what I'd been going through, why I had been pulling away. Things kind of just went from there."
"What do you mean, 'went from there?'" Eliza asked.
"She means we're together," Kara said. "Not bonded. Not yet. I would have. I've been waiting to marry her since the day I arrived here. But Alex said she needed time, and I know that's the way humans do things, so I'll wait for her, but these are betrothal bracelets."
"So, you're engaged?" Eliza asked.
Kara glanced over at Alex, who said, "Yes. Which sounds crazy, I know, but we're not planning on getting married tomorrow. On Krypton, Kara might not have met her wife or husband until the day they got married, and on Earth, people date for years before they get engaged. This is a way for us both to get what we need. Kara gets the promise that I'm there for her, that I want to be with her, and that I want a future together, and I get the time I need to find out if we work together before we take the vows."
Judging by the look on Clark's face, he had no idea what to make of the situation. He looked completely lost. Eliza, on the other hand, had the look on her face that she got when she was trying to control her emotions, but not doing a very good job.
"Kara, Clark, could you give Alex and I a few minutes?" Eliza asked.
"No," Kara said.
"What?"
"Eliza, I love you, and I respect you, but I am not going to walk out of this room and let you blame Alex for this. This is not Alex taking advantage of me, and this is not a situation where I don't understand some weird part of human culture. If I was on Krypton, I would be married already. I would be a full fledged member of the science guild, and if the betrothal with Thara went through, my wife would be an officer in the security forces. If you need someone to blame, someone to yell at or be mad at, then yell at me, because Alex was going to do what she always does. Swallow her feelings and ignore her own needs to take care of me. I'm the one who started this by telling her how I feel."
The expression on Eliza's face softened, and she smiled at Kara. "Sweetie, I wasn't going to yell at Alex, or blame her. I just wanted to ask her a couple of questions."
"You can ask with Kara here," Alex said.
Eliza stared at them for a minute, then nodded. "Okay." She looked right at Alex. "Is this what you really want? I know I've told you over and over again to take care of your sister, but if this isn't something you want, you don't have to do it just to make her happy."
Kara turned and looked at Alex, who smiled at her. "This is what I want," Alex said. "Mom, being with Kara is… It's a relief. When we're together, I'm calm and relaxed, and I don't feel like I have to carry everything. She makes me feel like I'm enough, like I matter. And when I'm not with her, it feels like a part of me is missing. I've been happier the last few days that I've ever been before. I need you to be okay with this, Mom, because I don't think I could take losing Kara."
Eliza nodded. "Okay, sweetheart," she said, then she turned to Kara. "And are you sure this is what you want? That you're not just doing this because of Clark's mistake?"
Kara leaned forward and pushed the sketch books towards Eliza. "Have a look."
Eliza leaned forward and picked up the first sketchbook. She opened it and for a few minutes, there was nothing but the sound of turning pages to break the silence, before she finally asked, "This is a bonding bracelet, isn't it?"
"Yes," Kara said.
Eliza closed the sketchbook and set it back on top of the stack.
"We'll sit down tomorrow and talk," Eliza said. "Just… This isn't what I expected, and I might need a little time to adjust, but girls, I'm happy for you. I mean that."
Kara smiled and turned to Clark.
"Are you good with this?" she asked.
"I… um…" He turned and looked at Eliza, who gave him a small nod. "Yes. And I'm sorry, Kara. I never meant to do that."
"It's okay," Kara said, holding up her and Alex's hand. "It worked out for the best."
Clark nodded, looking a little lost. "Yeah. I guess it did."
"Girls, could you go upstairs? I need to have a talk with Clark."
Kara looked over at Alex, who nodded a little too enthusiastically. She stood up and reached for the sketch books.
"Could you leave those?" Eliza asked. "I'd like to look through them."
"Okay," Kara said.
Alex gave her hand a small tug, and Kara followed her up the stairs, never letting go of her hand. Alex led them to the bedroom and closed the door before both of them dropped down on Alex's bed. The kicked their shoes off and curled up together.
"How bad do you think it will be?" Alex asked.
Kara cocked her head and expanded her senses, letting her super hearing reach downstairs. She immediately winced and regretted it, turning her hearing down so she couldn't hear what was being said.
"Your mom is really creative when it comes to swearing," Kara said.
Alex laughed. "I take it Clark is not having a good time?"
"She said that maybe he should spend a little more time learning Kryptonian and a little less time… um… with the cows."
Alex leaned over and buried her face in Kara's shoulder as she laughed, and Kara sighed contentedly when she felt Alex's arms wrap around her waist. She put her arms around Alex and squeezed as tightly as she could without hurting Alex.
"It's okay," she said. "We're okay."
She felt Alex relaxing against her. "I thought she was going to kill me when she asked you to leave."
"I wouldn't let her."
"Thank you for staying, for protecting me."
Kara pressed a kiss against Alex's temple. "Just returning the favor."
"I love you," Alex said.
Kara leaned in and placed a quick peck on Alex's lips. "I love you too," she said.
"We really get to have this?"
"We do," she said. "We really do."
Alex shifted against her so that instead of pressing her face against Kara's shoulder, she was resting her head on it.
"Kara?"
"Yeah?"
"Would you really marry me right now?"
"Yes."
"You're not scared?" Alex asked.
"Scared of what?" Kara asked.
"That you'll change your mind. That you'll want someone better than me. That you'll meet someone who can give you things I can't."
"No," Kara said. "I'm not scared of any of that."
"You're not?"
"No." Kara pressed a kiss to Alex's forehead. "You're forgetting something Alex.
"What's that?"
"I'm not human," Kara said. "Kryptonians aren't fickle when it comes to who we love, but taking a bond mate is about so much more than love. You give me things that no one else could. You're my home, Alex. My shelter. You've seen me at my weakest, and you didn't turn away. You picked me up, and you helped me heal. You're scared that I'll find someone better than you, but that's not possible. There is no one better than you. Not for me. You are everything I could ask for in a bond mate. And it doesn't matter if I meet someone who can give me things you can't, because you've already given me everything I need. The only thing I'm scared of is a life without you."
"That will never happen," Alex said.
"Are you sure?" Kara asked. "What if you change your mind, or decide you want someone better than me, or meet someone who can give you things I can't?"
Alex sat up and looked at Kara. "I'm not going to change my mind! I love… Oh…"
Kara smiled and leaned forward, brushing her lips against Alex's.
"You've seen the sketch books. I spent years putting my love down on paper in charcoal and graphite. Even when I thought you resented me for steeling your chance at a better match, even when I thought you would never want me, even when you hated me. There is nothing that could make me stop loving you."
"Even if I eat all the pot stickers?" Alex asked in a teasing tone.
"Even then. You're stuck with me, Alex Danvers."
Alex smiled at her and leaned in, resting her head back on Kara's shoulder. "That sounds perfect," she said, and honestly, Kara couldn't agree more.