Somehow, by the time Izuna can see Hikaku, the other has already returned home. Which. Well, Izuna might've been avoiding Hikaku. Madara's been there, after all, and there are things to do, a village to organise, and… avoidance is easier. Not the best tactic, but easier by far.
However, he can only get away with such things for so long. When Madara returns to the office, eyes slightly tight, he only says, "Hikaku's returned home."
"His home?" Izuna asks, after a moment of hesitation. Because Hikaku's home should be with them, but it's not. Sometimes it's hard to remember that when he feels like Hikaku should be right beside them at all times. Of course, that might led to a bit more fire and a touch more stabbings in their house than normal, but still. Hikaku being closer is preferred, at least for Izuna. Hikaku's always preferred his space a bit more, and so Izuna has let him have it.
Madara inclines his head. "Yes. The medic-nin said he would be fine so long as he rested and…" A disgruntled expression crosses Madara's face. "He kicked me out. Said I was hovering too much and that the only thing he did was sleep, which was hardly interesting." He meets Izuna's gaze, serious and stubborn and Izuna already knows what's coming, even before his brother says it. "He wants to see you, though he hasn't really said as much."
"I'll go see him," Izuna says, already flicking through what he can and can't do. Some of his work can be pressed onto others, much of it can be delayed to deal with tomorrow, and Hikaku comes first. Family always does.
"Good," Madara says, and then snatches work from Izuna.
"Hey!"
"Go see him now," Madara orders. "I'll deal with all of this. You need to go have an overdue conversation."
"I was going to go," Izuna says, only a small pout in his voice. Still, he lets Madara shove him out of the office and finds himself in a hallway that's relatively early. Considering the hour, it probably makes sense as most people would be at lunch.
Which, Izuna thinks to himself, is one of the main reasons Madara kicked him out. If he's going to have a meal at Hikaku's, he's likely to stick around for a bit longer both to make sure Hikaku actually eats, but also just to… hang.
It's been a while since Izuna's done that, but he already knew that. He knew that when Hikaku almost dropped dead out of exhaustion and he realised he hadn't noticed.
"I'm going to the most awkward lunch," Izuna announces to the food vendor as he buys enough food for two ninjas.
The food vendor glances at him as they take the money. "Good… luck?" They say, a bit confused.
"Thank you," Izuna says generously. "I'll need it." Then he takes hold of the two boxes and decides to leap up onto the rooftops, which are quickly becoming his preferred way to travel. It must be a Hi no Kuni thing—to want to be high up, as all the other ninjas from the country had quickly adapted to doing the same.
Izuna nods at the four ninjas who wave at him, one of which is an Uchiha, before he lands in the Uchiha Clan Compound. Rather than travelling along the main path to his own house, he heads left and finds himself travelling along a small pathway that squeezes around and between houses rather than following any organised structure. Considering it's a dirt path and clearly not part of the original design, it makes sense.
He passes no one else, but quickly arrives by a house that's not quite on the edge of the compound but isn't really close to the centre either. Despite this, it's clearly well looked after and Izuna knows for a fact that Hikaku rarely deals with the upkeep of his house—or at least it had been that way, before. He's assuming it remains the same. Thus, it makes sense that other Uchihas have been caring for the house rather than Hikaku.
Not that it's unusual for such a thing to happen, especially when so many of the Uchiha Clan had been on the frontlines in one war or another, and rarely home to care for their houses. That's changed a little, now that they're home more often than not, but not for everyone.
What really marks the house as different, especially compared to Hikaku's previous house, is the garden. It starts on the side, and clearly continues around back, but all Izuna can see are green leaves and bare earth between the plants. After a few moments of staring at the house, taking it in, he walks up to the door and knocks.
At the very least, the house is smaller than Hikaku's old one—which had been his family's some time ago—and smaller than the Clan Head house, which makes sense. This is on the smaller side of most Uchiha houses though, which is understand, but Izuna can't help to feel that it's also kind of sad.
The door opens without warning and Izuna finds himself face to face with Hikaku. He swallows and stares at the other Uchiha. Hikaku looks better, much better, then he has in… months, really. Bags remain beneath his eyes, but they're not so pronounced or dark as they had been previously. He looks less pale too, though Izuna reckons he could do with more sun.
What really grabs Izuna's attention, though, is how Hikaku doesn't look exhausted. It's not just the smaller eyebags or his skin looking less sickly. He carries himself better now, the exhaustion not so engraved into his bones and resting heavily on his shoulders. This is what Izuna has been missing for some time.
"Izuna," Hikaku says, a beat too late, "Hello."
"Hi," Izuna replies and it feels. Awkward. No doubt because Izuna hasn't really spoken to Hikaku since he awoke—because he's been busy—but… "It's good to see you." He lifts the food containers. "I brought lunch?"
At that, Hikaku smiles, and steps aside. "Thank you," he says. There's no mention of owing one another or paying Izuna back. This is how it always go. One will shout the other and eventually it'll come round again and everything will be even.
Hikaku leads the way through the short hall, and Izuna shuffles after him, still holding the warm food containers. Though none of them have been here very long, and Hikaku has certainly spent more time at the office—or so Izuna believes—the house feels lived in. More than that, there are personal belongings scattered around. There's no mess, but Hikaku has always been organised. But… it's homely.
Frames are hung carefully on the walls. Some are crowded together, some are not. The faces in each frame changes frequently. Some do not appear past childhood, which makes Izuna ache as it always does.
They pause in a lounge room adjacent to the kitchen. "Here," Hikaku says as he pulls out plates and chopsticks and whatnot out. It's routine to help him, to open the containers and divide the meals inside onto two plates.
"How have you been?" Hikaku asks as he raises chopsticks to his mouth.
Clearly they're going to small-talk their way through the meal. It's probably for the best. Izuna will have the talk, as he has promised Madara and also himself, but he's willing to put it off until after lunch has finished. Meals are for good times, not to be strained. Even awkward meals, like their current one, is better than storming off in anger or having a hard discussion.
"Not bad," Izuna says, and it's tricky—to figure out what to say. Because what is there to say? There is the village, there is always the village at the moment, but that isn't what Izuna wants to talk about. Not when Hikaku already knows it all, not when Hikaku asked how he was. "I've been busy," he says at last. "Not… Not really busy, but a good busy."
"Not enough time to get antsy," Hikaku says knowingly, and Izuna tilts his head in agreement.
"Exactly. Recently, I've had a few meals within the Senju Clan Compound which have been… interesting, to say the least."
"Oh?" A smile crosses Hikaku's face, there and gone. Not hidden, exactly, but only a sharp surge of amusement rather than anything that stays. "Have you seen Hashirama-sama's garden? I've heard rumours."
At that, Izuna smiles. "I haven't," he said, "fortunately. Nii-san has though, and he complained about it bitterly. The plants, apparently, were very happy to see him."
"The plants or Hashirama-sama?"
Izuna pulls a disgusted expression at Hikaku. "That's my brother!" He says. "I don't want to think about that. That's gross."
"And so is seeing you with your tongue down Tobirama's throat," Hikaku says mildly which—uncalled for!
"That happened once," Izuna says. "And those were strange circumstances. Really, we'd be far better off to just. Forget the whole event happened."
Hikaku tilts his head. "That might be impossible," he says. "Technically, it's what led us to peace in the end." Then he pauses, something flickering in his eyes—disgust? Fear? Izuna can't tell. "Though I would be glad to forget the whole thing too. There were some… rather unpleasant experiences that day."
"Ugh," Izuna says, feeling gross just thinking about the plant goo. "I still feel gross from time to time remembering that goo. What about you? What have you been up to?"
The questions are not a mistake. He truly wants to know, but know beyond the work Hikaku had done. What does he fill his days with now? How is he coping? They're more personal questions than anything that has really been asked today, at least by Izuna. But he doubts Hikaku will hide the truth from him, and Izuna certainly won't let Hikaku brush him off either.
It's perhaps a good thing they're nearing the end of the food Izuna brought with him for lunch.
"I've been alright," Hikaku says, and there's an edge of caution threaded beneath his words. Not- Not Hikaku cautioning Izuna, but rather Hikaku being cautious with his own words. Izuna doesn't frown with that realisation, though he wants to. "For the most part, I've been sleeping which is rather boring."
Izuna wracks his mind for things Hikaku's done as hobbies. Beyond training and paperwork and everything else their jobs require. He finds himself coming up short. He's like that too, but at least he took time to just be with family and he's picked up hobbies since the creation of Konoha. Before, before Konoha and the end of the war and everything that came with it, Hikaku had often kept Madara and Izuna company. It had been a peaceful thing, a calming thing.
It had been the only thing that was really theirs.
Well. He knows better to talk to Hikaku about hobbies—right now, at least. In the future they might have that discussion, but for now it's better to let Hikaku take things at his own peace. Kami knows that Izuna took his time figuring out hobbies and learning how to live a life that's not solely about the war or any such thing.
"I can imagine," is what Izuna says, too late and too uncertain. Hikaku catches it, but makes no mention as he rises smoothly to his feet, taking the plates and the chopsticks. "Let me help," he says.
But Hikaku simply shakes his head. "You're the guest," he counters though they're family so is he really a guest? Once upon a time, he came over often enough that he felt he lived in Hikaku's house almost as much as he lived in his own. "And you bought."
And so Izuna remains sitting, though he shifts to sit comfortably on the couch. There's a clatter from the kitchen and soft humming as Hikaku puts the plates in the sink and turns the tap on. Izuna tilts his head back, resting it against the couch back, and closes his eyes. The humming is soothing, low and soft and a song that Izuna doesn't know but also does know. The notes are slightly off, but neither of them are musical in any way and so Izuna simply smiles and lets it wash over him.
The couch dips as Hikaku takes a seat. Not right next to Izuna, but close enough that Izuna can sense him only a few hands away. Izuna opens his eyes, blinking quickly against the onslaught of light, and glances at Hikaku.
There's no obvious sign of tension. He's too good of a ninja for that. But Izuna's known him for most, if not all, of his life and he can see the slightly pinched expression, the shoulders that are held slightly too straight, and hear the steady breathing. There's tension in his own body too, trickling down his spine. He breathes out slowly. Time for a conversation.
Izuna doesn't have any easy segue into what he wants to say, into what needs to be said. But their lives are so rarely easy that this hardly matters. In the end, when the silence stretches out and the only thing he can hear is their even, matched breathing and his own heartbeat, he says, "I failed you."
Already, Hikaku's expression twists. "If this is something Madara-"
"Nii-san didn't put me up to this," Izuna says, cutting Hikaku off. "This is something I should have picked up on earlier."
"I didn't make it easy," Hikaku says. It's not quite a protest, or a refusal of Izuna's words, but it is at the same time. It's trying to take the blame from Izuna's shoulders where it should rightfully placed—not all of it, but some. "And it was a gradual thing too."
Izuna breathes out slowly, tries to hold onto his words, tries to keep his voice soft rather than shouting, even though he wants to take Hikaku by the shoulders until he understands what went wrong. "I should've noticed how much work you were doing," he says, and he's grateful that his voice is even.
In the end, it comes down to this: Izuna is closer to Hikaku than his brother is and should have seen the exhaustion and work always pulling at Hikaku. And Izuna hadn't seen it, not during the war when all of them were tired, and not now when they're less tired than they had been but exhausted for another reason. Yes, Hikaku is a ninja and hides thing, but Izuna knows him.
Knows him and has failed him—as friend, as Clan Heir, as family.
"It's not like it was obvious," Hikaku says, and his words are sincere.
"Still," Izuna says. "I still failed you."
Hikaku doesn't say anything, just tilts his head. It's not agreement, just understanding that they won't agree here and that's not- not what Izuna wants. It's not what they need. They need understanding, need to be clear with each other.
He knows that his brother spoke with Hikaku and it went somewhat well. Not that his brother had spoken about it to him, but the lines on his face had eased somewhat and he'd been at peace in a way he hadn't been before. Knowing Madara as he does, Izuna assumes that he got a promise that Hikaku would speak up more when he found himself struggling.
"I did," Izuna says. And it's not just this that's been playing on his mind—not just Hikaku collapsing, Hikaku overworking himself, Hikaku being exhausted and not asking for help. Yes, those things have been, but it's not the main thing.
See, as Clan Heir, Izuna has a duty to the clan. Not as much as Madara, who has pledged himself to the whole clan and been sworn to in return. But, if he asks, people will still pledge themselves to him. For some, Izuna has given his oath to protect them and their family and the Uchiha Clan as a whole, as they promise their strength and their everything to Izuna in return. After all, the dying often want promises that their family will be taken care of. He's done it often enough that he's almost forgotten the times he's done it with Hikaku.
Hikaku has a way of setting his feet in the dirt and standing strong and directly questioning things. Not in public, not when it could undermine his leaders, but in private when it won't backfire. And always, always, if it's needed, he's bowed his head and sworn himself to his leaders. It reaffirms that he trusts them, that he follows them still, and sometimes Izuna needs that.
The problem is that Izuna hasn't always sworn himself back. He's meant to. And he did, frequently, when they were younger, but now it's just become something known to him. Why should he pledge back when surely Hikaku knows? But- But what if Hikaku doesn't know that for certain? Not subconsciously, at least.
Izuna isn't Madara, who's only ever asked Hikaku once and pledged himself in return. His relationship with Hikaku is slightly closer, and it is him who often takes care of the issues Hikaku raises and pushes back when Hikaku sets his feet in the ground and refuses to be moved.
And so, rather than saying anything more, Izuna lets his actions speak everything he can't quite say right, everything that Hikaku refuses to fully accept, because it's the only thing he can do. He stands, better to do this on his feet after all, and says, "Izuna Uchiha swears to care for you and your family, and the Uchiha Clan. I swear this to you and for you, in return for the oath you have given for me."
"Izuna, what?"
Hikaku stands, clearly confused, hands not quite hovering, but close. "I-"
Reaching out slowly, Izuna holds his hands out. Hikaku hesitates, and then steps in, allowing himself to be drawn into the hug. Izuna holds tight, scrunching his hands in clothing, and breathes in. "I haven't given you my pledge in years," he says. "Though you have offered yours countless times. You and yours are my priority Hikaku. I'm sorry I ever made you feel otherwise."
A head rests on his shoulder and Hikaku collapses against him like he's a puppet with all his strings cut. "I didn't-" He cuts himself off with a hitch, voice sounding weak, and Izuna realises that this, at long last, might be the breakdown that has been coming towards them for months and months and stacks of paperwork.
Gently, he sits down on the couch and Hikaku comes with him, still with his head partially buried in Izuna's shoulder. Izuna hums, a soft thing from his childhood, what had once been a lullaby perhaps. If it had words, he's long since lost them and all he remembers is the tune, though occasionally he does make up a note or two.
Hikaku cries, silently, body almost shaking but not quite. There's no real reason for it, just the long slow press of exhaustion against his eyelids, the burnout in his body, but that's okay. Izuna's here—Izuna's here and he's not going to go unless Hikaku asks him to.
Eventually, Hikaku stops crying, but keeps resting against Izuna, heavy and safe. "You okay?" Izuna asks, keeping his voice soft.
"Tired," is Hikaku's weary answer. "Just-" He pauses, sniffling. "I hate crying."
"Who doesn't?" Izuna says, then shifts so he's slightly more comfortable. "Lie down and sleep." He tugs Hikaku's hair, playfully, and Hikaku lifts his head to glance up at him. Eyes puffy and red.
"You sure? You don't have things to do?"
"My priority is you," Izuna says, and he'll repeat it as many times as he needs to. "And I'll declare mandatory cuddling hours again if you have a problem with that."
Hikaku smiles, tired and small and so clearly there. And it stays. "No," he says, likely remembering the countless times in their childhood when Izuna had flopped over Hikaku and declared it to be mandatory cuddling hours. "I don't."
"Good," Izuna says, and Hikaku lays down, head resting on his lap. "Sleep. I'll keep watch."
Hikaku's eyes close and he breathes out, a long shuddering thing that Izuna swears he can feel. The tension drains from his body and there's a few minutes before Hikaku's breathing evens out and Izuna knows he's asleep. The other Uchiha must've been tired to fall asleep so easily.
None of this is going to be easy, even into the future. But Izuna won't let Hikaku ever get so overworked and exhausted, not a second time. They'll have to have more conversations, have to revisit the topic of self-care, but as Hikaku sleeps and Izuna keeps watch, he knows that they'll come through it no matter what. After all, they're family. And family sticks together.
Sad times when I didn't get to have a conversation where Hikaku mentions that he's aro/ace because, uh, guess who had that in mind? It's one of the reasons that Izuna considers Hikaku to be lonely (or even just alone) though that only means he should hang out with Hikaku more often. But, otherwise, Izuna doesn't really think about it. It's just Hikaku and that's just who Hikaku is and Hikaku is perfect.
Fuck, I love them here so much. It's just so soft and kind and comforting and they both deserve it.
I have some important notes for you all: drink water, eat something if you haven't for a while, stretch, try to get enough sleep today, and if you can get a hug (and want one), I totally recommend doing that too! Wishing you all the best!