Chapter Eleven: Trade My Soul for a Wish

It was hard to keep his head around Lily.

He hadn't been lying when he said she was so pretty that she made him stupid, but it was so much more than that now that they had been spending more time together. She was naturally kind in ways that he didn't know were possible until he met her. She was funny in ways that she did and didn't mean to be. But most of all, she was smart.

Far too smart for him.

He wasn't sure whether they were officially official yet. They had gone on a total of two dates and spent every day since their first date together in some form. Surely, during all that time together, she must have figured it out for herself, the fact that she was too smart for him.

Too everything for him.

She was so animated when she spoke, so enthralled in whatever it was that she was explaining to him, that he didn't have the heart to tell her such a fact himself. He didn't have the willpower to ask what she was doing with someone like him when she smiled at him like that, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

She was amazing.

She was beautiful.

She was… looking right at him and speaking.

And he was zoned out.

"Hmm," he mused, blinking. "Sorry. What was that?"

"Sorry, Evans. I think Jamie is a bit… distracted," Sirius said, his voice right in James' ear, causing him to jump.

"Jesus!" James hissed, shoving him back. "When did you get so close?"

"Oh, I'm just complaining, mostly," Lily answered, giving him an apologetic smile and flipping her hair again in that impossibly distracting way. "Why do Lit professors think I can read and understand a whole novel every week?"

"Sparknotes can be helpful," Remus said. Then, shooting Sirius a look, he added, "As long as you actually read the book too."

"I didn't even say anything!" Sirius cried.

"You didn't have to. I saw the look on your face," Remus said. "The look you get about being proud of your illiteracy."

James looked down at his own unopened pile of textbooks and frowned. They were supposed to be studying for exams. It was the whole reason James had invited Lily, Mary, and Benjy over to their place.

Well, that, and the fact that he was desperate to spend time with Lily.

The only things he had been studying so far were the way Lily twirled her pencil and how well she fit in so easily with his group of friends. Almost as if she had always been there.

He wasn't sure these facts would get him any credit on his history term paper.

"I thought when we agreed to have this study group, we'd actually get something done," grumbled Peter from the floor. "But instead, James has been gawking at Lily, Sirius is staring at Remus, and I'm still failing all of my classes."

Mary assessed him with a frown. "He can't possibly mean that, can he?" she asked, turning toward the group of boys. "Every single class?"

"Peter is an overachiever," Sirius said, proudly thumping Peter on the back.

"Will you stop?" Peter snapped, shoving Sirius' hand away. "I legit need help over here! I don't have anyone to gawk at!"

"It's fine, Pete," Benjy said, moving to sit on the floor with him. "I'm sure I can help."

"He can," Mary verified. "I got an A on my Astronomy exam last week because of him. Tell him how you make those memory tricks, babe."

Benjy bent over Peter's notebook and started to explain.

Lily, meanwhile, smiled fondly at her friend and then peered over at James' untouched pile. "Did you want to go over Bio notes again?"

"Not really," he admitted. "I wouldn't mind stretching my legs for a bit, honestly."

"James is trying to sneak off to go make out with Evans over here!" Sirius shouted.

James flushed, hitting his best friend over the head with his Bio book. Which he thought of as grace, considering Lily's American Lit textbook was within reach. In all reality, yes, he wouldn't mind a chance to do just that, but the way Sirius said it was so crude.

Plus, he needed to act out the next phase in his plan. He had convinced Remus - with a fair amount of chocolate - to text Lily as Prongs while James was around to throw her off his trail. Remus didn't necessarily approve ("Isn't the whole point of this madness for her to find you, Prongs?"), but he was well supplied in chocolate, so he didn't complain too terribly much.

He was the only one James trusted not to be a prick on the phone as Prongs, honestly.

"Like you don't wish you thought of it first," Mary said. "Good for you, Lils. Make out breaks are good for morale."

"A break?" Peter nearly whined. "We've barely started."

"Don't worry. We'll study while they're off, Pete," Benjy said. "I've got a date with Mary after."

"I think a walk sounds nice," Lily replied, seemingly unaffected by Sirius' comment. She inclined her head slightly, enough that her eyes went from James to Sirius, wide and innocent. "Unless you'd rather me kiss James here, Sirius?"

"Please don't," Peter mumbled from the floor.

"Who says I wouldn't mind watching?" Sirius teased, giving her a wink.

"Maybe later," Lily said, shrugging and taking it in stride. "We don't want to be too distracting."

Sirius finding out that Lily was Val was almost too much for James. He acted so chummy around her now, which wouldn't bother him normally. His best friend liking her was a good thing. Except for the fact that he acted like they had been friends for much longer than they had, which James knew that they had been. Lily, however, did not.

He was afraid she was going to catch onto him solely through Sirius.

Not that he didn't want Lily to figure it out. Just not so soon.

He wanted to have a bit of fun first.

"This is not a kink I'm willing to support," Remus said, his nose scrunching.

"Me either," James chimed in. He stood, offering Lily his hand. "Want to go for a walk?"

"Yeah, let's go." Lily closed her textbook and took his offered hand.

Mary moved her head in acknowledgment, but her attention was divided between Lily and watching Benjy draw something on Peter's notes.

Turning to Remus, Lily added, "I'll be back in a bit so we can walk to work."

Remus nodded but kept his eyes on the page in front of him.

Hand in his, Lily tugged James toward the door.

"Make good choices!" Sirius called behind them.

"Be safe!" added Mary.

It was easy to brush off his embarrassment about his friend's words as soon as they stepped outside. The crisp air sent a shiver down his spine as he led Lily into the back garden. When they were well enough away from nosy friends and prying eyes, he spun her by their still attached hands, grinning as she shrieked with laughter at the gesture.

"Hi," he said, bringing her close and placing his hands on her waist.

In one motion, she looped her arms over his shoulders and pulled them closer. Nearly toe to toe, James could appreciate the faint sprinkling of freckles over her nose. "Hi," she replied. "Are you trying to sneak off with me?"

"Am I that obvious?" he asked, nuzzling her nose with his. "I was hoping to steal you away for a bit. I hope that's okay with you."

"More than okay." He could hear the smile in her voice, already familiar to him. "I'll study later. Remus can go over my Lit outline with me at work."

"'I'll study later' has always been my motto. Maybe it's why I'm so rubbish at Bio."

"You're not actually rubbish at Bio," Lily said. "Or, at least, you're getting better. I saw the grade on your last quiz. You might even make Dean's List, Potter."

The corner of her mouth was distracting him, the way it twitched upward, finding him humorous. He placed a kiss on it. They hadn't been able to do much exploring in the kissing department. They only shared a few quick kisses here and there since their first date, and even those had been cut short by their friends or timing in general. He was eager to put an end to that now that he was finally alone with her.

"Studying is boring," he said, placing a kiss to the tip of her nose and then to her cheek. He had so much to explore. It was intoxicating. "What should we do instead?"

"I have a few ideas," she said, trying and failing to suppress her giggle. "Since you're such a quick learner. Maybe…" Lily rolled onto her toes. "You could kiss me again. Properly, this time. So long as you're careful with my buttons."

"I think I can manage that…"

The rest of his words - whatever they were going to be, he still wasn't sure - were lost as he pressed his lips to her own.

There was a part of him, nearly too distant to hear, that reminded him not to rush this. Not to press his lips too roughly against Lily's, because they had plenty of time. Something as sweet as Lily and the tingling of her kisses deserved to be savored, not devoured.

But it was hard.

It was so much harder than he thought it would be to kiss her calmly, not to put everything he had into the kiss. While he wanted to, he couldn't yet. It was too soon for those sorts of things.

Too soon to let his teeth nip their way down her neck, too soon for anything more heated than a few open mouthed kisses. Anything more than that would likely be confusing to her. Anything more would be rushing.

And he didn't want to do that.

He thought he might have gotten the hang of it, that he might have gotten that feral part of him under control, as he followed her lead, chasing her mouth with his own…

And then he felt her phone buzz in her back pocket.

"Mmph," he protested against her mouth. It took him a second to realize that he was the one who asked for the distraction in the first place, so it was unreasonable to be frustrated with Prongs-Remus.

Unreasonable, but absolutely possible.

She made a soft, frustrated noise that mirrored his thoughts.

"I'll answer it later," Lily mumbled, so close that he could feel her lips brush against his. She pressed herself against him, as if physical proximity would get them back to where they were before her phone vibrated. This time, she was the one who kissed the corner of his mouth as the beginning of a path to more.

It took a great amount of strength to pull himself away from her enough to speak. "Maybe you should check it. To make sure it's not an emergency or something."

God, why had he thought this would be a good idea? Why hadn't two hours ago James suspected that current James would be able to make out with Lily during this time instead of playing a stupid, childish prank on her?

Lily groaned. "It's just my phone. If it was an emergency, Sirius or Mary would have no problem coming out here and interrupting us." Her eyes went meaningfully over his shoulder to the house and back to him. "If my apartment's on fire, they'll put it out without me and you better let me crash here."

He nearly let himself get distracted with the thought of Lily staying the night at his place.

Nearly.

"Still, I'd feel better if you checked it. Make sure it's not your parents or something needing you."

Spending more time with Sirius showed. His dramatics might have been rubbing off on her, because she let her forehead fall onto his shoulder while she lowered her arms and reached for her phone. The screen lit up, but her head hid the message from him. She read it, typed a short reply, and linked her hands behind his neck again, the phone still in one hand.

"Nothing's on fire," she assured him. "No emergencies."

He smiled, nearly about to lean down to close the distance between them again, when he felt her phone buzz once more. This time, instead of protesting, she pulled back with a growl of annoyance. She made a move to shut it off but not before pausing to read the words flashing across her screen, her brow beginning to knit in confusion.

Prongs: Bingley is slightly insufferable in this novel.

Prongs: I've never really cared for him.

There was nothing to block his view from the text message this time, so he had front row seats to the mistake Remus made. He told his friend to ask her how her day was going or something along those lines. He never imagined that when he explained that he had checked out the novel of Pride and Prejudice after Val had told him to read it that Remus would talk to her about it.

He could do that on his own time, couldn't he? Not right now. Not as Prongs, who had previously professed his love for Bingley's character. Who had compared himself to Bingley.

And where did Remus get off anyway? Who didn't like Bingley?

James shook his head. That was not the issue at hand.

"Everything okay?" James asked when Lily still made no move to put the phone away.

She was distracted, that much was obvious, but this time it wasn't by a line of kisses from him or his finger tracing a pattern on the back of her hand. Lily stared at the phone screen for another few seconds and shook her head.

"It's fine," she answered. She flicked the notification away with her thumb and put the phone in her back pocket. "Next time, I'll leave it far, far away."

"Sounds like whoever it was annoyed you," he commented, kissing her forehead.

"Mostly because they have awful timing. They were interrupting my chance to finally be alone with my -" Her sentence ended abruptly, her mouth still open with the end of her last word. Her eyes darted over his face, scanning his features. "I mean, with you. Unless, um, you wanted to talk about..."

"You were about to call me your boyfriend," he said. He was sure he must have looked positively concerning, the way he was grinning. "Weren't you?"

"Maybe," she said, her voice picking up confidence from his reaction. She straightened her shoulders and stood a little taller, making him want to kiss her all over again. "Unless you have any objections or think we should discuss it."

"No, no," he said quickly. "James Potter, Lily Evans' boyfriend. It sounds nice. James and Lily. Lily and James." He paused for a moment, thinking. "If we had a ship name, would it be Lames?"

"If Sirius picked it," she answered, her expression starting to match how he pictured his own. "But we could do better. Jamly? Jaly?" She paused in thought. "Jily?"

"Jily," he repeated. "I like it. It fits." He nodded to himself before smiling brightly at Lily. "So, Lily Evans, where were we?"

"On a first name basis, at least," she teased. Lily rocked toward her toes and tilted her head to the side.

"Don't take away from my love of your name," he said. "I'm fond of the whole thing."

"I think we finally have a little bit of time alone. We wanted to do some of the things boyfriends and girlfriends do. Does that catch us up?"

James leaned in, catching the breath of a laugh against his mouth before she could retort with something clever. His lips curved upwards against hers, his smile refusing to die down just yet.

He was so happy.

He didn't know it was possible to be this happy. It radiated through him, feeling as if it would go on forever.

And perhaps it would have, had he not had the types of friends he did.

"Told you!" Sirius' voice cut through the moment, slicing through it like a knife. "They're still making out."

James groaned, letting his head fall onto Lily's shoulder. "I'm going to kill him."

"Well, you're going to have to do it on your own time." Remus, apparently, had come to find them too. "Lily has to go to work and can't stick around for murder right now."

Lily moved her fingers into his hair indulgently, though her shoulder shook in what he suspected might be a suppressed, traitorous laugh. "Don't do anything too rash," she said. "They don't pay me enough for that kind of bail money."

"I already packed up your bag, Lily," Remus said. "Stocked up on snacks too, so we don't have to interrupt the boys, who will be very studious while we're gone." There was a beat where he likely looked to Sirius. "Won't you?"

"I'll think about it," Sirius replied.

"Ugh," groaned James. "Do I have to?"

"If you want Euphemia to keep paying for us to live here, then yes," Remus said, taking on the tone of the mature one. James rolled his eyes. "You can't afford to let your grades slip. Literally."

"Fine," he agreed. His eyes widened as he remembered his missing phone. "Oh, did you...?" He trailed off, unsure how to finish the question.

Thankfully, Remus was always quick to catch on. "Kitchen counter," he told him. He turned to Lily. "Ready to go?"

"One second," she said, though she leaned forward to drop a brief kiss on James' lips. She stopped like she might reconsider but ultimately took a step back. "Now I am." Lily held out her arm, and Remus handed off her bag.

Together, they went around the house. For a few seconds until they were too far away, James could hear the murmur of their voices while they walked.

"Not a word," he told Sirius.

He didn't need to look over to see that he was fighting back laughter.

"James and Lily, sitting in a tree…" Sirius started to sing.

"Stop!"

"Oh, you don't like that version? What about Prongs and Val sitting in a tree - oof!"

It had been a while since James and Sirius had a wrestling match. Euphemia strictly prohibited them after a particularly ugly vase of hers got broken. James couldn't help himself now, tackling Sirius to the ground and trying to get him in a headlock.

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Sirius continued to sing through hysterical laughter.

"Shut up!" James hissed, partly in frustration, partly due to the fact that Sirius had gotten the upper hand and flipped them so James was the one with his face to the ground. Sirius cackled again but didn't lose position.

"I know your better halves left," a voice called from the back door, "but couldn't you wait, like… five minutes?" Both of them looked up at the same time to see Mary, her hip popped to one side with a hand on it.

"Isn't Fenwick in there to keep you entertained, Macdonald?" Sirius said.

Mary rolled her eyes, which she almost turned into a full body action. "He's busy teaching your friend how to remember his notes."

Sirius snorted. "He'll probably be here all night then."

"Fenwick is too nice," grumbled James. He shoved Sirius roughly. "Will you get off me?"

"This is the closest we've been in months," Sirius pouted. "And you want me to just… get up?"

"Oh, shut up," said James, standing and dusting himself off. "We spend too much time together." He rotated his arm, wincing. "Dammit, Pads. I think you dislocated my shoulder."

"Isn't this charming," Mary commented drily.

"It's not my fault you're weak, Prongs. If anything, I should be upset over the grass stains on my jeans, but you don't hear me whining."

"Excuse me," Mary said, cutting across both of them. She must have only taken one step forward, but her voice felt closer. "Sirius Black, what did you just call him?"

Sirius seemed to have realized his mistake, his eyes darting to James quickly. "Um, I called him... Tongs?"

James smacked his forehead.

Idiot.

"No," Mary said deliberately. "You called him Prongs. That's the name of -" She cut herself off, putting a hand to her mouth. Her attention went to James. "That's you?"

James grimaced, unsure of what to do. There was no running from it. "Guilty?"

"Oh, but that's brilliant! I have to tell her that -" Mary appeared to have another realization, her face registering her shock, but too many things were happening at once. "I mean -"

"No, no, no!" James said quickly, moving to step in front of her. "You can't tell her! At least, not right now."

"Wait, you know? You know she's Lily, and you're not -" Mary's eyes narrowed. "Why?" Her expression, coupled with the suspicion in her voice, made James fully aware that Mary might be smaller than him, but she wouldn't let that stop her. "Are you messing with her? I swear, Potter, if you hurt Lily, I will hurt you."

"No, you've got the wrong idea, I swear!" James promised, holding his hands up in surrender. "I'm not messing with her. At least, not in a way that will get her hurt. I figured out she was Val on our first date."

Skepticism entered Mary's features. "Then I'd think you'd be thrilled," she said. "My best friend, one of the best people on the planet, has a crush on two boys, and they're both you? That's, like, the ultimate ego boost. Why don't you, I don't know, tell her? Isn't it weird for her to be talking to you about… you?"

"Well, she doesn't really talk to Prongs about James anymore. Mostly, she spends her time trying to figure out who I am now."

James groaned, running a hand through his hair. He felt incredibly stupid saying all of this aloud.

"He isn't telling her yet, because he wants her to figure out who Prongs is on her own," Sirius cut in, and James gave him a grateful look. "Lily knows Prongs knows who she is. But she doesn't know who Prongs is."

"Why?" Mary repeated. "What happens when she figures it out?"

James blinked.

His first reaction was to say that she would be happy. It was what he expected when he decided to go this route.

She'd be happy that James and Prongs were the same person, right?

But what if she wasn't?

"Then… she gets me," he said finally. "James, Prongs. They're both me."

"Right." Mary studied him. She let the moment sit until it was almost uncomfortable. "If you have any shot of pulling this off, you're going to need my help. If you want it, though, you have to promise me a few things."

"Of course," James said quickly.

She took the hand off her hip and crossed her arms. "If this becomes more than a game, if Lily starts telling you secrets or making decisions because she thinks you're someone else, it's over. If you break up or fight or whatever, you don't get to use Prongs to get in the middle of it or bother her. This is a fun little scavenger hunt, and Lily comes first. You got that, Potter?"

"I know that. I honestly wouldn't do anything to hurt her," he said earnestly. "I just want her to… find me for herself, I guess. I promise you, I like Lily so much. I've never felt this way about anyone before. I would never use this stupid prank to hurt her."

"Gag," said Sirius. "Do I still need to be here for this?"

Mary turned to Sirius. James could physically feel the weight of her gaze lift. "You made us sit through you butchering an epic poem about Remus' cardigans," she said. "Plus, you knew about this, so you deserve what you get."

Sirius rolled his eyes, but it was clear that he met something of his match in Mary. Every protective instinct that he had for James, Mary had for Lily. Their expressions to each other weren't quite friendly, but James would swear that there was a healthy dose of mutual respect.

"I'm in," Mary said, looking over to James. "We need some kind of plan, though, or you're going to tell her by accident any day now."

Mary turned, flicking her hair back over her shoulder before heading back to the house with purpose.

"I'm not going to tell her on accident…" James muttered after her, keeping his voice low so she wouldn't hear him.

As thankful as he was for Mary on his side, she scared him a bit. He hoped he wasn't making a rash decision, asking Lily to come find him.

Surely she'd be happy he was Prongs. Surely she'd find the humor in it all.