Chapter 9

Despite the fact that he went to bed in the earliest hour of the morning, Daniel found himself waking up shortly after 0500 and couldn't go back to sleep. He tried but sleep eluded him and he gave up after only ten minutes of trying. Might as well do something productive. He quickly dressed and planned to grab some coffee before starting on the translations waiting for him. As he passed Vala's door, he swore he heard her cry out, what she said, he had no clue, but he stopped and listened. When he heard her again, he quickly used his keycard, which got him into most of the guest quarters in the event of an emergency.

The room was dark when he entered so he flipped the light on. His gaze immediately settled on Vala: the blankets were all twisted up as she continued to thrash in her sleep and her face showed signs of distress. She mumbled something he couldn't hear from the door and Daniel crossed the room and sat down on the side of her bed.

"Daniel, no!" she abruptly cried out, and her body jerked.

Daniel flinched in surprised. She's having a nightmare, he realized. He almost put his hands on her shoulder to try and wake her but stopped himself at the last moment. Jack never responded well to that when he had a bad nightmare. It was rare for Jack to show any signs of it while he slept, but when he did, it was best not to touch him.

So instead of trying to gently shake her awake, he stayed seated on the edge of the bed and called out to her softly, "Vala, wake up." It didn't work. She continued to call out for him and begged for someone to leave him alone. Daniel tried to call out to her again a little louder this time, but again, no luck.

He was about to risk it and gently shake her when she suddenly sat up while calling out for him. The expression on her face clenched Daniel's heart and without thinking about it, he pulled her into his arms. She quickly returned his embrace and began to cry. Not knowing what else to do, Daniel made soothing noises and assured her everything was all right.

They sat like that for ten minutes before Vala got a handle on her emotions. She cursed her crazy, out of whack hormones. She normally had a better grip on them and wouldn't dream of balling for a good ten minutes, but thanks to the crazy hormones from her pregnancy, she seemed to have lost total control over them.

Daniel felt her calm down and her cries turn to sniffles. He nuzzled her neck and continued to rub her back in a comforting way. "Are you okay?" he asked gingerly.

She took in a shuddery breath. "No," she admitted, "but I will be."

Daniel paused before asking, "Do you want to talk about it?"

She let out a humorless chuckle. "Not really," she answered and pulled away from him.

They caught each other's gaze and didn't move. Vala felt herself begin to crack. She had always been able to tell her Daniel anything. After Qetesh was removed, he had gotten her to open up about that experience. It didn't happen overnight, but he found a way through the wall she had built. It soon turned into her telling him anything and everything from her childhood, to her first love, to be chosen as a host. Everything.

"I dreamt about the last time I saw him: the day they invaded the base," she began. It didn't take long to tell him about her memory turned nightmare. He just listened, never interrupting, and just offered her emotional support with comforting touches. "The end is always different: sometimes she kills everyone else first and leaves him last, while other times he first. He dies in different ways too. Mainly by our own weapons or by being burnt to death alive," she finished with a shudder.

"Death by fire?" Daniel questioned, "Your mind has quite the imagination."

She scoffed. "My imagination has nothing to do with it. The Ori are fond of burning people alive. Very unpleasant way to die."

The way she said it gave Daniel pause. She sounded like she knew from experience… "And you know this how?"

"I was burned to death when Daniel and I were in the Ori galaxy," she said, almost nonchalantly.

"What!" he exclaimed and looked at her with wide eyes and in disbelief.

Vala patted his knee comfortingly. "Story for another time."

Daniel shook his head in disbelief but decided to leave it when he heard her stomach growl. He raised his eyebrows. "Hungry?" he inquired. "Wanna get some food?"

Vala gave him a blinding smile. "I would love to, darling!" she exclaimed. "I just need to get dressed. Meet you outside?" Daniel agreed and left to give her privacy.

The commissary wasn't very busy at this time in the morning since it wasn't quite yet 6am. It normally got busy around 6:30am. Vala took a seat out of the way, against the wall, while Daniel got food for the both of them. While she was in her second trimester and it usually meant no more morning sickness, her baby still didn't like the smell of certain things and would make its dislike known. Daniel remembered when she told him that she couldn't stand the smell of his cologne that she also couldn't stand the smell of eggs, so he offered to grab her food for her, hoping to help her avoid getting sick.

Daniel set down her tray with yogurt, oatmeal, and fruit, as requested, and his with just a stack of pancakes before quickly grabbing their drinks: coffee for him, of course, and peppermint tea for her. Vala gave him a smile before taking a sip of her tea.

"You know," he began, "didn't peg you as a tea person."

"I'm not really," she stated as she opened a package of salt and sprinkled it on her oatmeal. "I had to give it up coffee for the baby. I know I can have a cup a day, but I have no self-control so tea it is."

Daniel watched her in disgust, almost in horror, when she sprinkled salt on her oatmeal. "Did you just put salt on your oatmeal?" he asked incredulously as she took a bit.

Vala pointed her empty spoon at him. "Don't judge me!" she snapped. "You have no idea what cravings do to a person. You have no idea how debilitating they can be! Anyway, my cravings are way more tame than Sam's were," she defended then her mood went somber as she remembered the friend she had lost.

"What about me?" questioned Sam as she flopped in the chair next to Daniel. She held Ian as he quickly sucked on his bottle, guzzling it down. The poor woman looked more tired than usual.

Vala schooled her face to project nothing but a happy expression. "Nothing!" she insisted. "Want me to take him? You looked exhausted," she offered as she reached across the table, ready to relieve Sam.

Sam unconsciously pulled Ian closer to her. "No, it's okay. I've got him," she quickly replied, her voice having a small bite to it.

Daniel may not have heard it but Vala did. She also saw the expression on Sam's face and understood. Vala had gotten so used to being the only one caring for him that she forgot about what Sam might be feeling, especially when she corrected Sam on something regarding the children. Vala needed to learn to pull back. Maybe even have a chat with the woman who had once been her best friend. Vala gave her a genuine smile as a peace offering and hoped it conveyed understanding. Sam seemed to get the message and returned the smile.

"Well," Vala broke the silence that had befallen the table, "let me get you some coffee," she offered and jumped from the table, not waiting for a reply. It took mere seconds to fix the coffee the way her Sam liked it before setting the coffee in front of Sam and sitting back down across from them.

Sam took a tentative sip of the coffee and was surprised it was exactly the way she liked it. "It's perfect," Sam commented, "thanks."

Vala beamed and devoured her food at a rapid pace. "So, Daniel tells me that the house is ready for the kids. Are you going to bring them home tonight?"

Sam spared Daniel a glance before answering the woman. "Yeah, we're gonna try," she answered. "I mean, there's still a few things that needs attention, but we got enough done to bring them home."

"That's great!" Vala said excitedly. "What are you and Jack going to do about childcare?"

Sam set down the empty bottle on the table and started burping the baby. "Once we get all their legal documents sorted out, we'll probably enroll Grace in preschool and use the daycare most SGC families use for Ian. But it'll take time to get all that straightened out. Until then, Colonel O'Neill and I will take turns here on the base, I guess."

Vala literally bit her tongue. Grace had been tested and could easily go straight to 1st or 2nd grade. Her Jack and Sam had lined up an acceleration program that one of schools offered for Grace to begin once the school year had started. The Ori had come in April so Grace never got the chance to attend. By her calculations, it was June. There was possibly still time to enroll Grace in the same program here. Vala just had to come up with a way to point Sam and Jack in that direction without telling them outright. Surely they had noticed by now that she was a gifted child.

Vala was determined not to overstep when it came to the children. She saw the way it rubbed Sam, and quite possibly, how much it hurt Sam that Vala knew more about the children that she did. A conversation was definitely needed between the two of them. Vala would make sure she spoke to Sam in private. In the meantime, she'd enjoy having breakfast with two of her favorite people. It almost felt like the old days.

"Knock, knock," Vala announced her presence. "Can we come in?" she asked the room's occupant and motioned her head to the baby she held.

Sam looked up in surprise. "Hi," she said, uncertain why the woman was here.

"Jack had a meeting with General Hammond," Vala rushed out before Sam could ask. "Jack left them with Teal'c, but Muscles doesn't really know anything about babies so he asked me if I could take Ian. Grace wanted to stay with Teal'c. I hope that was okay."

"Uhh…" Sam was taken back by the woman's sudden chattiness and tried again. "Yeah, that's fine, I guess."

Vala still hovered by the door, unsure if her presence was wanted. "Do you want me to leave Ian with you? I don't mind looking after him!" Vala quickly assured Sam.

Sam just realized that she actually hadn't invited Vala in. "Please come in," she said abruptly before answering her last question, "and I can take him. I needed a break from work anyways."

Vala slowly entered the room and handed the baby off. She watched as Sam's face lit up at the baby's appearance. Vala knew she should be happy that this reality's Sam and Jack had quickly taken to the children, but since she was now stuck in this reality, she felt insignificant. She no longer had a place, nowhere where she could find a fit now that the children would be happily settled with their new parents.

Sam caught Vala's forlorn look. "Are you okay?" she inquired carefully.

Vala offered her a small smile. "Yes, of course," she quickly assured the Major. "I'm just going to miss spending so much time with Ian and Grace," she confessed gingerly.

"How long had you been caring for them? After…" she trailed off.

"After the destruction of my Earth?" Vala continued for her. "About seven weeks. Though at some points, it felt like years."

"They were lucky to have you," Sam stated, and she meant it.

Vala waved off the compliment. "I made a promise. I was just fulfilling it." she paused for a moment, trying to work up the courage to have a much-needed conversation with her best friend's doppelganger. "Samantha… I believe I owe you an apology," she cautiously started.

Sam's face scrunched up. "For what?" she asked, bewildered and placed Ian in the basic baby bouncer Jack and her bought specifically for the base.

"For the last seven weeks, I have been solely responsible for Grace and Ian. My best friend entrusted me to take care of them. I had already failed her by not getting her the medical help she needed and I was not going to fail her in this. I've gotten so used to being the only person they relied on that I find myself having a hard time relinquishing control and because of that, I've been stepping on your toes. Figuratively, of course," Vala explained, wringing her hands.

Sam softened towards the alien. The woman hadn't set out to make Sam feel inadequate when it came to the kids: she was just trying to be helpful and Sam knew she was being unfair, but she really couldn't help the way she felt. She could change the way she treated Vala. "It's alright, Vala. I understand," Sam assured her.

"I don't think you do," Vala attested softly. "I lost everyone I loved aside from them. They became my whole world. They were literally the only thing that kept me going after I lost my Daniel. If it hadn't been for them, I would have lost myself in grief, probably losing my baby as a result. I know I wouldn't have had the will to live after that. Grace and Ian saved me from that; they gave me a reason to go on."

"Vala…" Sam trailed off, not knowing what to say.

Vala chuckled ruefully. "Pathetic, right?" she said. "I didn't used to be like this, not until I met Daniel. Before Qetesh, I used to be a lot stronger and if I had never met Daniel or SG-1, I would have survived after she was removed. It's a tough life for a former host and you have to be strong to survive. If I had never met Daniel, I would have probably continued in the family business and become a thief, con artist, and/or a space pirate. But I did meet Daniel and he made me soft," she finished wistfully.

Sam understood her a bit more and where Vala was coming from. She gave her a minute to compose herself before asking, "Do you regret it? Meeting your Daniel, coming to Earth?"

"I want to sometimes," she confessed, "but no, I don't. I can't bring myself to. I couldn't imagine my life without those years with him and SG-1, and wouldn't trade them for all the treasure in the galaxy."

"You may not view yourself as strong," Sam started, "but you are. You being here just proves it. You survived two world destructions at the hands of a powerful enemy while caring for either your friend or her two children. Despite what you felt and were going through, you never gave up."

"Thank you, Sam. That's very kind of you to say."

Sam bit her lip before continuing, "I'm sorry as well. I guess I felt a little threatened by you," she admitted. "You have this bond with the kids and know them in a way I don't. You're a natural with them and I'm still struggling."

"Sam," Vala said in disbelief, "it took me weeks to get a routine down. I'm not a natural with them. It took a while until I found a rhythm with them. You're an amazing mother, whether you know it or not. I've seen it. Yes, you are a little different from my Sam, but not in that regard. I see the way you look at them and the way you are with them. You will be and are a good mother," she stated confidently.

"You're not just saying that?"

"I would never lie to you about this," Vala declared. "You're not that different from her."

Sam offered her a small smile. "Thank you, Vala."

"Think nothing of it!" she insisted.

Sam chuckled under her breath. It sounded like such a Jack thing to say. Huh, when did she start referring to the Colonel as 'Jack' in her head? She focused back on her conversation. "I don't want to cut you out of the kids' lives. Grace adores you and you really are good with them. I know we're bound to have situations where both Jack and I can't be with them. If you wouldn't mind, we'd love to have you watch them during those times."

"Of course," she replied, "it would be my pleasure."

They shared a smile, both feeling happier now that they had cleared the air by stating what was on their minds and explaining their points of views. Sam understood how the other her had put so much trust in Vala and how they had been such good friends. She sincerely hoped that they could become as good as friends as the other her and Vala were.

"I have a question," Vala began, "are all Tau'ri children as smart as Grace is? Because if you haven't noticed, she's freakishly smart." She hoped she wasn't being too obvious.

Sam stared at her, trying to decipher whether Vala was actually curious or if she was trying to tell her something. "Not generally," she replied slowly. "Are you trying to tell me something but worried that I'll take it as you stepping on my toes?"

Vala bit her lip. "Caught on to that, did you?" she asked rhetorically, her face wincing. She sighed. "Grace was tested and was labeled gifted. They had decided to enroll her into an accelerant program in one of the schools here instead of having her skip a few grades," she explained.

"You mean accelerated program," Sam corrected, thinking about which program Vala was talking about. She was fairly sure she knew which program Vala meant. It would be Sam's first choice upon learning her child was gifted.

Vala waved off Sam's correction. "Whatever," was all she said to that. "She was supposed to start in the next school year, which is only a few months away, I believe."

Sam nodded while she thought. Hopefully they'd have all of the kids' documents all ready by then and could continue with that plan. Sam would have to talk it over with the Colonel later and look into the school and program some more to see if it was even possible.

"Thanks for telling me. Grace would have been bored out of her skull in preschool if she's that gifted."

Vala's demeanor softened. "Anything for Grace." She hesitated before asking, "Was that stepping on your metaphoric toes?"

"No," Sam chuckled at the woman. "It's something we should know. We'll have to get her retested in this reality so she can attend the same program. In the meantime, while we wait for all the correct documents to come in, Colonel O'Neill and I will probably be relying on you a lot. I hope that's okay."

"I've already told you; whatever you need," she assured Sam. "Anything for Grace and Ian. It's my pleasure."

"Thank you, Vala," she said sincerely. "That means a lot."

There was a pause before Vala blurted out in a suggestive voice, "So, how's it going with you and Jack?"

Oh boy.

Author's Note: So how can any child of Jack and Sam's not be smart?! Because both Sam and Jack are smart people! Really felt as if she should be gifted. No idea what the process for that is so hopefully my shot in the dark at it wasn't too bad or unbelievable!

Thoughts? How am I doing?