The cockpit of their stolen ship was small. The interior was a shiny chrome made even more bright by the two garish orange chairs. Whoever this ship belonged to either never used it or purchased it recently. Even the most fastidious owner wouldn't be able to keep a starship this pristine.
Ben motioned for Rey to sit in the only vacant chair, but she glared at him, looked at the wound on his thigh, and nodded to the chair. Sensing that she wouldn't give in, Ben sat down.
It was a relief to be sitting. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, it was difficult to put weight on his injured leg. He had a high tolerance for pain, but his knees buckled from the stress of carrying his weight.
Poe broke the silence. "Have you decided where you're going?"
Ben glanced at Rey, and she gave him an encouraging nod. "Back to the Resistance."
"Your mom will be happy to see you," Poe said, clapping him on the shoulder.
Rey leaned on the back of Ben's chair. "How are we going to find them?" she asked.
"Leia gave me this." Poe pulled out a small beacon that emitted a blue light.
"I don't know how we would have escaped or found the Resistance again without you," Rey said. "Thank you."
"I wasn't going to be much help against the Knights of Ren, but thinking on my feet and planning was something I could do," Poe said.
"Do you know how far away we are?" Ben asked.
"Not from this." Poe gestured with the beacon. "But I have a good idea of where they would go next. Leia and I had a plan for our next stop after Iego. If I'm right, we should be about four or five hours out."
Ben shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He had agreed to go to the Resistance, but having a timeframe made it feel more real. Being among them as an enemy with a temporary truce was different than joining them. He hadn't discussed his potential role in the Resistance with Rey, but he knew he had to be actively involved. As a high profile enemy of the First Order, his presence made them an even bigger target.
And his mom was incredibly persuasive. (She once convinced a senator to co-sponsor a bill his biggest donor was against. It hadn't even been difficult for her. He remembered her talking about getting the senator on board, and her assistant laughed in disbelief at the idea of him voting in favour of the bill. After one lunch, he became the bill's biggest advocate.)
"How many Knights of Ren are left?" Poe asked.
"Only two," Ben answered, thinking of the surviving knights. "But they'll recruit. Kuruk prefers to be on his own, so Cardo will likely be their next leader."
Rey exhaled. "Something for us to deal with later."
Us, Ben thought, feeling a lightness in his chest. She could have been referring to the Resistance as a whole, but the Knights of Ren were Force users, so it was more likely that she meant the two of them. He liked the idea of us.
"You both look dead on your feet, and I'm fine here." Poe said. "Why don't you get some rest?"
Ben was exhausted. He wondered how rough he looked. Based on the look Poe gave him, he guessed it was pretty bad.
Rey nodded. "Let us know if you need a break. One of us can pilot."
Ben stood up slowly. His leg had stiffened up while he was sitting.
"It's going to be busy when we find the Resistance. Make sure you actually get some sleep," Poe said with a smirk.
Ben's eyes widened when he realized what Poe was insinuating. For the first time he wondered how much Poe knew and for how long.
Rey's face reddened. "Oh, we will."
Ben felt a flutter in his chest. Sleep was no longer at the front of his mind.
...
To the right of the lounge they were in earlier, they found the captain's quarters. It was a small room with a bed and an attached refresher.
"You can rest here," Ben said. "I'll find somewhere else." He went to the door.
Rey grabbed his arm. "Don't be silly. It'll be a tight fit, but we can share."
"We can share," Ben agreed. He took off his shoes and laid down on the bed, taking the side against the wall. There wasn't much space left for Rey. The bed hadn't been made for a man Ben's size.
Rey figured it out. She laid on her side and placed her head on Ben's chest. "Is this okay?"
Ben swallowed. "Yes," he said, looking down at her.
Rey nuzzled into his chest and ran her fingers lightly over the back of his wrist.
Ben turned his hand over and took hers in his. He heard her let out a contented sigh. "This is good," he said, holding back a yawn.
"Get some rest," she said softly, "I'll be here when you wake up."
He closed his eyes and let himself relax. He felt the weight of Rey against him and let the sound of her breathing lull him to sleep.
...
When Ben woke up, he realized they had shifted in their sleep.
Rey was resting against his shoulder, her breath tickling his ears, and she had her arm wrapped around him in an embrace. One of his hands rested on the small of her back, and the other cupped the back of her head.
He wasn't sure how much time had passed since he fell asleep or how long he had been looking at her since he woke up. Ben felt Rey shifting.
"Are you awake?" she asked in a quiet voice.
"Yes."
"I don't want to get up yet," Rey said, nuzzling into his neck. "I'm comfortable."
"Me too." He ran his fingers through her hair.
"I think we have some time," she said. "Poe would have told us if we were landing soon."
Ben made a sound of agreement.
"You're awfully quiet," Rey said more like a question than a statement.
Ben stilled. "I'm afraid I'll say something wrong," he admitted.
Rey snorted. "It wouldn't be the first time." She pushed up onto her forearm and gave him a serious look. "But don't let that stop you from sharing what you're thinking. You won't scare me off."
"This doesn't feel real. I keep thinking that I'll wake up and find out this was all a dream – that you'll be gone," he said.
"I'm here," she said, brushing her lips against his. "This is real."
Ben pressed his lips against hers, more firmly this time, but there was nothing hurried about it. They explored each other's lips languorously, pausing occasionally to look at each other, and then they lost themselves in their kiss.
He felt content in a way that was unfamiliar to him. While there was a voice in his head that told him he was going to make a mistake and lose her, Rey had a way of quieting that voice. Her steadiness helped steady him.
For all that they had done together, they had never taken the time to fully explore one another. Ben wanted to have time to map out every freckle and every scar. He wanted to know all of her.
But he had a hard time believing that was possible. She told him that he wouldn't scare her off – that she would leave the Resistance with him if things didn't go well. Her assurances, as honest as he knew they were, didn't fully ease his anxiety. He wasn't used to having good things happen to him, and Rey wanting to be with him – in any capacity – was the best experience of his life.
Rey ghosted her lips down his cheek and across his jaw. "You're thinking too much," she said into his ear, her breath hot against his skin.
"I can't help it," he said, leaning into her.
"Then tell me what's on your mind," she said.
"I want this to last." Ben cupped her cheek. "I don't want to lose you."
"I want you too. I care about you," she said.
His heart squeezed. "That's the part I have trouble believing. Nobody has ever wanted me – cared about me – the way you have."
"Can I show you how much I want you?" she asked, her voice raspy.
"Yes," he said, swallowing.
...
Rey nuzzled into Ben's warmth, and he wrapped his arms around her and sighed.
"I'm not leaving you," she said, wanting him to believe her.
He kissed the top of her head. "Neither am I."
She squeezed her eyes shut, overwhelmed by the emotion those words caused. It felt so good not to be alone.
...
Rey must have fallen asleep again because she startled at the sound of a knock at the door.
"We're landing soon," Poe called out. "You're going to want to make sure you are presentable."
She looked up at Ben and saw that he was awake. Rey reluctantly sat up.
...
After cleaning up as best they could, Rey looked through the clothes in the captain's quarters to see if there were any pants that would fit Ben because his pants had a sizable rip. Unfortunately, everything looked too small.
He shrugged in response and told her it didn't matter.
She had been restless since she learned they were landing soon. Rey didn't know what to expect when they arrived.
...
Rey's first impression of Ajan Kloss was that it was so green. Her second was that it was warm and humid. They arrived at a small landing zone in the jungle, and they hadn't attracted too much attention yet.
She stayed close to Ben, looking for signs of distress, but the tightness of his jaw was the only visible sign of his nerves.
Leia was the first person to greet them. "Let's go talk," she said to Ben, her tone warm. There was a slight smile on her face.
Ben inhaled sharply. "That's a good idea," he agreed.
"We won't be gone long," Leia said.
Rey felt some relief at Leia's words. She wasn't ready to let Ben out of her sight for too long.
Rey watched Leia lead Ben into a nearby cave.
...
Poe and Rey were greeted by Finn, Rose, and Kaydel. Poe left soon after to get some rest. He hadn't slept at all on the journey over. She had thought he would get her or Ben if he needed a break, but they should have checked on him.
Her friends led her to a place they could sit together. They were still outside, but they were close enough to the cave's entrance that she would see Ben when he left.
Finn had brought her food, which she dug into immediately. She explained what happened between bites of food. They hung on her every word as she described the fight with the Knights of Ren.
Rose kept interrupting with questions about their weapons. Rey wouldn't be surprised if she made herself a customized weapon. She was fascinated with how each weapon worked.
Finn did not want to go back to Iego after hearing her describe the plant. He did not think plants should be able to eat people.
She kept her explanation of Ben's decision to join them vague. That was his story to tell.
"I'm not that surprised," Kaydel said when Rey finished her explanation.
Finn gaped at her. "I am," he said.
"Really?" Rose asked, raising her eyebrows. "Even after learning about their bond?"
"Yes," Finn said, sounding defensive.
"I was surprised too," Rey said. She wondered why Rose and Kaydel were so unfazed.
"I can't believe Poe was right," Kaydel said, shaking her head.
Rey looked at her. "What was he right about?" she asked, pinching her brows together.
"We had a bet," Kaydel explained.
Finn laughed. "What was the bet?"
Rey wasn't sure how she felt about anyone betting on her and Ben, but she was curious to learn more.
"I thought whatever was going on with Rey and Ben," she said, over pronouncing his name, still getting used to using it, "would end in disaster."
"Understandable." Rose leaned forward. "What did Poe think?"
"Poe thought he would end up joining us," Kaydel said.
Finn laughed. "I hope you didn't lose too much money."
Kaydel winced.
"What made Poe think he would join us?" Rey asked.
"I don't know," Kaydel said, shrugging. "I never told him about the kiss I saw on the first day."
Finn and Rose stared at Rey.
She felt herself blush.
...
His mom led him into the command centre. They found a private, but well lit corner of the cave.
"I don't know what I believe in," Ben said, breaking their silence.
"You're here for Rey," his mom said.
"Not just Rey," Ben said, shaking his head. "If anything happened to you, I don't know what I would have done." He swallowed. It was so difficult to find the right words. "Mom, I…" he trailed off.
"I know," she said, touching his arm. "I love you."
Ben closed his eyes. "I don't understand how you can after everything I've done."
"I will always love you," his mom said confidently.
He opened his eyes and looked at her.
For so long," she continued, "the thought of seeing you again was a distant dream. Having you travel with us was a balm to my heart. Having you here is better than any possibility I allowed myself to hope for."
Ben never thought he would be here – not only with the Resistance – but with his mom. He had thought killing his dad ended the possibility of reconciliation. "I don't want to disappoint you," he said.
"All I want is the chance to get to know you," his mom said, looking him in the eye.
"I want that too," Ben said. He hadn't realized how much he wanted that until he said the words.
...
Ben shared First Order secrets with his mom for the first time. It was only a small fraction of what he knew – there would be time for more later – but it was the information that would help the Resistance survive to fight another day.
He told her about potential allies – enemies who wanted to see the First Order destroyed who he thought would be willing to work with the Resistance – stormtroopers who weren't as conditioned to follow orders as the First Order hoped – and reluctant allies of the First Order.
Once he started, he found it difficult to stop. He wanted to tell her more of the mistakes the First Order made, but she stopped him.
"We can continue this tomorrow," his mom said. "We're safe for now, and it will take us some time to use the information you have already given us."
...
Ben found Rey laughing with her friends. He smiled at the sight.
He didn't know how to act with her around others – it wasn't something they had discussed – but as soon as she saw him, she grabbed his hand, and had him sit next to her. Once they were sitting, she didn't let go of his hand.
None of her friends looked surprised. They weren't particularly warm towards him, but they weren't hostile either, which was much better than he expected.
"I hear you're going by Ben now," Finn said, the first of Rey's friends to speak to him. "I started calling myself Finn after I left the First Order"
"I'm no longer a Knight of Ren," Ben said.
"Do you think anyone else will defect from the First Order and join us?" Finn asked.
Ben nodded. "You started something," he said, "and you weren't the first stormtrooper to leave the First Order."
Finn's eyes widened. "I wasn't?"
"No, but you were the first they weren't able to cover up," Ben explained.
Finn started talking with Rose and Kaydel about the ideas he had for the stormtroopers. He sounded hopeful that they could find other former stormtroopers, and that they might be able to help more stormtroopers defect.
Rey nudged Ben's arm with her elbow and smiled at him. He smiled back.
...
It didn't take long for his mom to join them.
He expected her to have more questions for him about the First Order, but she surprised him by addressing the group.
"Take tonight off," his mom said, smiling. "Rebuilding will take a lot of work, but it can wait until tomorrow."
...
Later that night, once they were alone, cupped Rey's face and kissed her. "You were right," Ben said, lips hovering in front of hers.
"About what?" she asked, tilting her chin up.
"You were right that I would turn," he said, thinking about how confident she had been.
She smiled. "It feels good to be right." She brushed her lips against his. "How does it feel to be here?"
"It feels right," he said.