December 1996
Authors Note: Don't hate me for this chapter. No, Sirius is not likeable here (but give our boy some time). Remember that this Sirius has been locked up and lost many loved ones besides we need a little Sirius drama to keep things exciting. Enjoy! As always, I love and appreciate you all, and would so so appreciate any likes, reviews, and respond to all my PMS. Cheers!
"Where is she" Sirius yelled his heart rattled against his ribcage and his breath caught in his throat. Hermione hadn't returned last night, and it was all he could think about. Sirius felt the walls close in and the floor swallow him whole.
He thought he had more time. Lupin had promised. He had messed up. Gotten
too close. It was agonizing, pain like he had almost forgotten like an old wound ripped open again. This is where Remus finds him sprawled on the floor of her bedroom.
Gone.
Gone.
Gone.
Sirius is pale, his lips cracked from lack of hydration and looks as though he slept on the floor. He is shivering but does not reach for the blanket mere inches from him. His whiskey addled brain is guilting him, he let her leave, again.
'Get up' Remus extends a hand to him, then, louder "Padfoot get UP" Sirius doesn't move, and
Remus heart lurches at this broken man, grieving the loss of her again and again.
"She's home" Remus whispers.
"Maxima" Sirius asks his eyes wide and full of hope- pure unaltered hope. Remus shakes his head, his heart clenching.
"Hermione" he corrects, "Hermione is home". It is a long, quiet moment before Sirius responds, "right, of course, Hermione" his voice void of emotion.
Remus watches as Sirius pulls himself off the ground and makes his way to Hermione who had just apparated to the front entryway.
"you didn't come home last night" Sirius speaks first eyeing the ruffled state of Hermione clothing. She had been with someone. Hermione not Maxima. Hermione. He chanted internally but it was no use, his blood pressure rose, and his blood boiled.
"Sorry", Hermione apologizes wincing at his sharp tone. She slowly takes in his appearance. He reeks of whiskey, cheap corner-store whiskey, and his nail beds have been picked away and dried pooled blood sit there.
"Better shower before Moony comes down and smells the sex on you" Sirius says the words like acid pouring from his mouth. Hermione's face turns red and if Sirius were of more stable temperament he might feel regret but as it were, he was plastered.
"What is your problem" spits Hermione her hands clenched tightly, her nails digging into her palm.
"Just thought you should know" Sirius shrugged the words leaving a bitter taste long after he spoke.
"Were you dropped as a child!?" Hermione questioned harshly rushing towards him. She reconsiders immediately taking a step back.
"AND for your information I didn't sleep with anyone. Not that it would be any of your business if I had, Sirius Black. You are not my father" she hisses tears welding up in her eyes.
Despite the inappropriateness of the timing, Sirius is unable to hold back a laugh. 'Father. Father?!' He thinks. In this time, he is old enough to be her bloody father. Bile pools in the back of his throat. He heaves violently but brings up nothing.
By the time he looks up again she is gone only the echo of her slammed door left in her wake.
"Fuck" he swears, moving towards the porch desperate for a hit of nicotine. Desperate for something to quell this feeling, this nothingness. He would leave her alone he promised himself. he didn't need her, he was fine, just him and his vices. He could coexist pleasantly until Hermione Granger was gone. He could do that. Even the thought sounded so blatantly like a lie that he scoffed. He, Sirius Orion Black was completely and utterly screwed.
"You're distracted" commented Snape and Hermione who was short on sleep with even shorter of a fuse retorted "no, you're distracted" gesturing to Tonks who lay sprawled on a nearby bench.
"Are you going to give me a proper duel to watch or just bicker all morning" asked Tonks, todays purple hair catching in the sunlight.
"Just pretend I'm not here" Tonks said brightly, her mouth half full of a biscuit clutching a takeaway tea in one hand. "I'm just here to make sure our boy Snape is behaving" She informed Hermione grinning and Hermione swore she saw steam rising from his ears.
"Sanguinis praemium" hissed Snape his wand pointed at Hermione. He was in a terrible mood. The ministry and their peppy watchdog was doing nothing for his poor holiday spirits. He watched disgruntled as Hermione barely managed to cast a protection spell to avoid the effects of the curse. That cure which had the nasty ability to combust blood vessels, while not deadly, it was far from a pleasant experience.
Protect thought Hermione forcefully and fear wrought, and a purple hue encased her. An indescribable feeling coursed through her fingertips, like warm electricity, almost comforting. It tasted like power, bitter yet intoxicating.
"What the bloody hell was that" Tonks asked her biscuit now sitting half eaten on the ground, her tea tipped over and pouring into the fresh snow. She sat up abruptly looking pointedly between the two duelist.
"Nothing" replied Hermione all too casual while Snape at the same time hissed "beyond your paygrade. Snape ran spider-like fingers through his hair, nervous. Hermione felt the protection charm lapse and she turned to Tonks, who stood wide eyed expecting answers.
"Well," Tonks marched towards them her hands planted firmly on her hips and her hair had turned a dusty red. Hermione swallowed hard, she really did hate lying. Secrets were one thing, that burden she could bare but blatant dishonesty was another entirely. It was foul.
"Magic" Hermione answered simply, opting for the version of the truth she dare expose. Tonks looked back and forth between her and Snape as if she were calculating a particularly complicate arithmetic problem. Then as suddenly as the look had crossed her face it quelled. "Wicked" She announced grinning ear to ear before collapsing back onto the bench, "looks much stronger than the last one, have you tried it wandless?"
Hermione was speechless. Snape had instilled in her the secret of her magic. How instantly she would be slaughtered if anyone found out, but there Tonks sat as if she had just found out the Leaky caldrons daily special not this. Her heart pounded excitedly, was it possible she had done something else than sign her death warrant?
Hermione did as requested, placing her wand gingerly into its holster and as she attempted to cast a spell. "Expelliarmus". She spoke feeling ridiculous as she held her hands out fingers outstretched. She felt like a character in a bad Disney remake, one step from adorning warts and a crooked nose. It just didn't feel right.
"Try something else" encouraged Snape, intrigued with the boundaries of her magic. They were already in this predicament; they might as well make it fruitful. He itched to transcribe the events.
"Stupefy" she muttered looking dejected. She looked around, feeling self-conscious and observed. Tonks eyes, while kind, bore holes in the places she watched.
"You need to mean it Ms. Granger" Snape growled "you are either a victim or the victor" then in a loud clear voice "deiectione". Hermione's breath caught. The air grew cold, and the sky dark. Her body felt light as if a strong breeze would take her away. She felt ill the ground spun and her vision blurred. She tumbled onto her hands.
As she turned to Snape to see why he had stopped she saw herself like staring into a mirror, a few steps from here she had fallen. Hermione looked at herself panicked as she observed herself casting a curse. Her eyes were white, and she spoke in a language Hermione was certain she had never learned "fájdalom". A purple electrical storm surrounded her, the Hermione she was watching. fájdalom". Without any supporting evidence or reason besides her gut, she knew those words were dark and the only think she could think of was pain. The corporal Hermione spoke the curse louder with an elaborate waving of her hands and Snape crumpled to his knees his body twitching in ways the body was not meant to bend.
"Hermione Stop" Begged Tonks her hair a deep blue. Scared, she was scared.
"Hermione" She cried out again, and like a rubber band had snapped Hermione is once again present in her own body. Snape breathes a sign of relief, coughing and rolling to his side. Tonks runs to his side.
A feeling of horror washes over Hermione and she backs away slowly into the house. She rushes to the bathroom and hurled violently, sobbing the whole way through. What had she done. Something was wrong. Something was so so wrong.
"Hermione?" The voice of Remus Lupin brings Hermione above the panicked fog. She was so tired. Her body ached. She felt herself sink slowly under the thick haze.
"Please. You need to be okay. Tell me how to help" it occurs to Hermione like a passing thought that she had never heard Remus sound so sad before. All she wanted was to make him smile. He was good. Just after she woke up. Yea, after this nap she'd cheer him up with some chocolate.