Hey! Thanks again for the comments and subscribe/favorites.

This chapter was a hard one, I basically rewrote most of it and as always, when I do rewrites I end up just adding an entire chapter to my story hahaha. Although Draco doesn't know what goes on with Harry, I do, so I've been thinking if I should write little extras about what is going on with him, especially because he and Hermione have a lot of good conversations in my head.

Anyway, here is the beginning of 6th year, I hope you enjoy it!

Regulus memories had given Draco new straight to endure the Dark Lord for the remaining time he still had at home, because even if things hadn't ended well for his cousin, it was prove that someone else had been in Draco's position and he wasn't as alone as he thought he had been, the only difference was that he wasn't self-sacrificing like Regulus had been and he didn't intended to fight the Dark Lord.

The Lestranges returned a few days later and they quickly noticed his new disposition, but he said it was the good news he got from Borgin and the step forward he had taken for his mission. The Dark Lord was pleased, so no one insisted, in fact, Bella had stepped forward to help Draco with organising things if he did get his plan to work, making a show of how proud of him she was.

Returning to King Cross felt strange, his summer had been dark and full of ups and downs of emotions, but looking at all the children around with their parents, it all felt like a bad dream. His mother's goodbye was full of sorrow and would have been tearful if they weren't in public.

Draco went through his duty as a prefect a bit more silent than usual and made a point to ignore Weasley and Granger and then hid himself in a compartment, in fact he counted himself lucky when Blaise was invited to see Slughorn, the old potion professor, and left him Pansy, so he could be miserable with his head on her lap.

"We didn't even see each other this summer, I missed you" he told her.

"You are the one who hid the entire summer"

"It was a busy summer, we had guests"

"Interesting ones?" she asked her pretence of casualness almost leaving her.

"Sometimes" He knew she wanted to ask more, but he would not dare tell her much more "but nothing fun really happened, I was mostly helping mother"

And they looked at each other and Pansy nodded and dropped the subject. Theo and Daphne only found them later and the boy's only question was if Draco and his mother were alright, but the meaningful look he threw at Draco meant he knew what happened.

"Mum said that Rabastan can be trusted to look after your mother, that even when Crouch had him around his finger, Regulus always came first" said Daphne.

"Sounds like she thinks Lestrange was in love with Black, not with Crouch" said Pansy frowning

"I had that impression too, but mum said things with Rabastan were complicated, that Regulus was the only person that ever loved Rabastan, but she also said he was in love with someone else, so I don't think she meant it romantically"

Draco knew very well Regulus had never loved Rabastan as a lover, but he wouldn't exactly discard the possibility that Rabastan might have felt that way, he never really understood what went on with his relationship with Crouch. But then, there were a lot of weird things between everyone's relationship with the Lestrange.

Later the group had a lot more to talk about when Blaise returned bringing back news of Slughorn's chosen for the year, something that apparently didn't include Draco, Theo or Daphne, something that got the girl really offended since her family business was cosmetic products, which involved a lot of complex potion work despite what some people thought. Draco, however, was hoping he could change the man's opinion at some point, it would be useful for his healer career to have the man show him some favor, he had heard plenty about him and the people he had helped with his good influence and his constant network of contacts.

At some point Draco noticed something strange in his compartment and it didn't take long for him to realise it was Potter hiding and listening in with his invisibility cloak. He got a bit mad the boy was spying on him, but then he didn't really want to fight with him and the best thing he could do was to confront him now and get on with his life. So when they arrived at Hogsmeade station, he sent his friends ahead of him.

"I know you're there, Potter" he said to the 'empty' compartment

"We need to talk" said the boy as soon as he revealed himself.

"I know"

Potter seemed surprised by his reaction and they both stayed silent for a moment, waiting for the other to say something.

"Look Malfoy, you got it all wrong that day and..."

"I get it that Sirius was important to you, I…" said Draco at the same time and they both looked at one another again, not knowing what to do, neither of them had expected the other to apologise.

"I don't know what Sirius means to you and your family, but for me he was everything. I never wanted it to be a choice about who deserves more to live, I wanted everyone to live, I'm sick of people dying I just want it all to stop, but I can't, not until Voldemort is gone" said Potter, more calm and quiet then before.

"I was just… I thought that finding out what was causing this, would make it stop… But I get it that it is not an option until this is over" said Draco not really looking at the other boy

"I'm sorry I didn't think about you that day… I didn't really understand how bad it really was, I thought you just didn't want me to help Sirius"

"Well I didn't, I don't care about Sirius… but I understand that you do, so… I'm sorry for your loss"

"Yeah… I thought… That I wanted to die after Sirius… But I… I will keep on fighting, Malfoy, I don't want you to feel you have to give up, I don't know why you're bonded to me, but I'm not trying to hurt you,.

Draco looked at Potter, he had a lot of questions, but the train suddenly moved and that was when both boys finally realised they had spent too much time in there.

"We need to go!" he said to Potter and they both ran to the door.

"Harry!" called a woman's voice and they both turned.

"Tonks!" said Potter

For a second Draco was expecting a tearful reunion that would take too long and put them in even more trouble, but the woman was apparently smart enough to tell them both to just jump and another minute later she was able to get out too. She did however look at draco with suspicion and then turned to Potter.

"What happened?"

"We… lost track of time?" said Potter a bit embarrassed.

She blinked in surprise, but seemed to accept the answer quite easily.

"So… who is this?" Draco finally asked, pointing to the woman with them, something about her looked familiar, but he couldn't exactly point it out.

"She is your cousin" Said Potter with a little smirk Draco wanted to punch.

He looked at the strange girl and it was clear that this was as awkward for her as it was for him. He had a vague memory of a little girl with colorful hair, but it had been too long for Draco to even say he knew her at all.

"I would say it's nice to see you, but considering the last lost family member I met through Potter was..." and he stopped and looked at Potter for a moment, but truly this experience with Sirius had been a terrible one "an arsehole, I will wait until I make any judgement"

She was surprised and a bit confused, but she didn't seem to take offence.

"Sounds fair I suppose, please don't mind if I do the same"

And that kind of counted as a good thing for Draco, his cousin was cautious, but open enough, in fact, now he realized she was a bit like her mother. They didn't however have much to talk and apparently neither did Potter, so after a few questions they made their way back in silence. Snape showing up to pick them up just made everything worse.

"It doesn't look like a good start for the year, Draco, I thought we were supposed to expect better things from you?" said the man mockingly.

Snape didn't take points from him as he did Potter, but he was just as mad and his remark was very clear, it enraged Draco to not know what side the man was really on. At least he seemed to believe they had been fighting on the train. The issue was that so did the rest of school and plenty of people felt they needed to send hexes his way to defend the now proclaimed chosen one, so Draco's night wasn't really good, but at least his friends didn't ask him many questions.

—

"You're still standing by your choice from last year?" asked Snape on the next day when giving his schedule.

"Yes I am"

"And you think that is wise?"

"Well is not like we have many healers, I'm sure it will help to have one when half of them can't just walk into a hospital" said Draco not looking at the man's eyes, but making sure to stand his ground with him.

That shut him up and he was able to receive his schedule, it turned out however that Slughorn was actually more difficult to deal with than Snape, he was determined to keep him away because of his father and that was frustrating. Also he would have loved to get at least a drop of some liquid luck, it wasn't like Granger had much use for it.

Then Potter won and Draco knew he had cheated somehow. He would have loved to ask, at least to get him to tell him how to do it too, but he was avoiding the boy again. The conversation on the train might have cleaned up a few of their issues, but he still had a wand pointed to his head on the other side and with that one he wouldn't be taking any chances.

He found the room of hidden things very easily, he knew Potter and his friends had used a room on the seventh floor and as soon as Rabastan told him what it did, he knew why they chose vanishing cabinet was there already and it was indeed broken, some of its primordial magic was also messed up, so it was almost just a shell of what had been a vanishing cabinet, Draco would have to pretty much make a new one out of the one he had. It was going to be even more difficult than he thought.

He decided to use the weekend to do some research, as soon as he left breakfast he went to the library, he wasn't sure he was going to find anything useful, but he wanted to check everything before he begged Flitwick for a pass to the restricted section. Obviously Potter thought it was a smart idea to corner him there

"We're not done talking"

"Get out of here"

"Malfoy look..."

"No! The entire school has their eyes on you, anyone can see us here and I can't be seen with you" he said angry, but inside he was very close to a panic attack.

"Then let's get out!" said Potter a bit loud and Draco almost sent a curse his way.

"Put your voice down! We can't just leave together! I need to get a few book, go to the second floor and I will meet you there"

At least, Potter knew how to follow instructions, because he did as he was told, so after getting the books he thought would be more useful for his new project, Draco left to the second floor, carefully getting inside the room and warding it.

"So what do you want?" he finally asked Potter.

"I want to know what you were doing on Borgin and Burkes that day we met in Diagon Alley" Potter said very firmly, which was not something Draco saw everyday and he was completely surprised by it all.

"How do you… you were following me?" he asked exasperated, the nerve that boy had.

"Well.. yes, you were acting weird and your parents are Death Eaters"

"And it hasn't crossed your mind that I might be one too?"

"It has actually, it's exactly what I thought when I saw you there, but… with Fred..." and just for a second Draco thought the boy sounded strange when he said his friend's name.

"I shouldn't have done that, should never even gotten inside"

"Well… but you did"

Potter's face was hopeful, Draco realised then that the boy really wanted him to not be a Death Eater, to be something he wasn't sure he could ever be.

"Potter, my life is complicated and you are… you. I can accept you didn't mean it, I didn't mean it either… turns out I don't want to die, but the best thing for us is to pretend the bond is not here and just go our separate ways, so do your thing and I will do mine and if we make it to the end, we will see what this bond is about"

Draco knew things weren't that simple and there was a good chance the Dark Lord was going to win. If Potter died and he didn't, he would just be changing his bond from Potter to the Dark Lord and he couldn't even say it was going to end the pain, considering how found he was of the cruciatus even on his own followers. But he could just keep his head down and as a healer he would be able to stay out of battles, so he wasn't going to get killed by an auror and since the Dark Lord was so interested in him, maybe he could lay low at his side, keep his favor as his mother and Rabastan had done.

"And live a life as miserable as my summer was"

But he had to keep all the possibilities in mind if he was fighting for survival, just because he wanted to believe Potter could end this, didn't mean he was going to blow up his life.

"But whatever I do, it will be 'your thing' too" said Potter taking Draco from his thoughts "No matter what choices you make, the bond will still respond to the things I do"

"Yes, Potter, I'm aware of how unfair the world can be" said Draco dryly, not really understanding what Potter wanted to prove.

"I know it's not fair… for me to take part of your choices from you, but my life hasn't been fair either, in fact most of it sucked and people made decisions for me too… You are the only person that knows what that is like… I wanted out too, after Sirius died, but I want to live and I want my friends to live and that is worth fighting for. I don't want to ignore you, I don't want us to keep hurting each other"

"We tried that, Potter, it didn't work"

"But we are on the same side now!" the boy said frustrated

"That doesn't mean we changed"

"I did! I had to, The things they are saying, about me being the chosen one, they are not wrong, there was…"

"A prophecy, I know" Draco interrupted

"You do?" Potter asked surprised

"No one knows the full contend, but I know what it is about"

"Oh… and what do you think about it?" asked the boy a bit nervous

"I think everyone lost a bit of their minds believing a bloody prophecy out of all things, but what is done it's done, he believes it, so he won't give up"

"Yeah… but neither will I"

"I don't see what changed then, I know you want to fight him"

"Don't you? What if killing me really kills you?"

"I know that! But he was in my house for part of the summer! I know how horrible he is..." he confessed and regretted a second later.

"What happened?" Potter asked surprised

"He took over my house, he was waiting for me, this bond might kill us, but walking away from him will make both me and my family targets, I will not do that"

"Maybe Dumbledore would help your mother"

"And she will never accept his help" and Potter looked angry and considering the many arguments they had about her, it was better to just end this now "Look, whatever opinions you have of her, she is my mother and I love her, but she is in a difficult position where she is trying to please the Dark Lord enough to keep me and my father alive, but that only works if the three of us work together, because even if we both leaved, he would then just kill my father, who I also love even if you hate him"

"It would be his own fault, he signed up for this, you shouldn't be responsible for that"

"That is not how family works" and he knew he shouldn't have said it as soon as it was out, but Potter only closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Then let Dumbledore help!"

"He can't help us! the Dark Lord has some kind of… interest in my family, I need to be there"

Potter opened his mouth to say something, but then he stopped and frowned.

"Do you think it has something to do with the bond?"

"I… haven't thought about it" said Draco shocked with himself for not thinking it, but then, he had gone through a lot "If it does, he doesn't know about it"

They were both silent for a while. Draco was glad to clean up things with Potter, but they were in a different position now then they were last year and if this bond somehow had anything to do with the Dark Lord, things would get even more complicated.

"This bond has to be here for a reason" said Potter quietly "we messed it up last year, but we have to work together… I… I want us to work together"

Potter's words tried to be encouraging, like he was trying to recruit him, but his green eyes (so beautiful it was a shame they weren't more visible) they were begging Draco to choose him. He would have jumped at the opportunity on the past, but he knew he couldn't. For a second his traitor brain even wondered if Regulus' lover had once begged too, had looked his cousin in the eye and begged him to stay, to turn his back on his family.

"I don't know what you did this summer, if you're trying to help Voldemort because you were mad at me or if Fred is right and you're in trouble, but we can find another way" insisted Potter

"No we can't, I was mad at you and I am in trouble, but I can't walk away and the things I have to do are not things you would approve of"

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that?"

Draco felt exasperation all over, the boy just wouldn't let go or understand what he wasn't saying. He took a deep breath to think what to do next and the only thing he could think of was that he was most likely bonded to Potter for life and he might as well make things clear between them. So he showed him his left arm.

"I couldn't really say no at his face" he took his arm back before the boy could touch it, he wasn't really ready for that. Potter was silent and Draco tried to explain things the most simple way possible "he was mad at my father, for getting caught and apparently because the plan for the Ministry was his. Also, the Dark Lord already dislikes my mother for some reason, so he decided I had to pay for my father's mistake, making me take on a mission he knows I can't complete, but he will kill me anyway if I don't"

Potter kept silent and Draco knew what that meant, he had never expected the boy to understand anyway.

"I don't pick fights I know I can't win, Potter"

The boy didn't say anything and so Draco just left the room, not letting himself get disappointed, he had the entire summer to accept the fact he and Potter were not meant to be.

—

After lunch, he had agreed to go to Pomfrey to both set up their meetings and discuss what they were going to do now that his illness was apparently caused because of a bond.

"Maybe we won't need to worry so much about shut down, obviously it will depend on how crazy his life is, but we can always hope for a calmer year"

Draco looked at her, his face showing every doubt he had that Harry Potter would be able to have a nice and calm year. She didn't look that much sure either, but denial is always the first step on the journey to acceptance.

"I want you two to come here together soon, I want to monitor your core and Potter's when something happens to him, we might not know why you're connected, but we can certainly try to understand how it is manifesting, last year I said it could be a ripple effect and you did spend more time passed out than Potter..." she stopped and looked at him with conflict in her eyes and Draco knew what she was going to say, what he had been fearing since last term "I'm afraid of what something like Potter's death, which we all wish will never happen, but still… I'm afraid what something like that would do to you"

"You think I will die with him" he said resigned

"I'm afraid so, yes"

Hearing from someone else made it all feel more certain, he had thought it was a possibility, but now he had something close to a confirmation.

"I know you're tired, Draco, we all… we all heard what you said, how much this has hurt you and I understand your desperation, but please know that Potter is just as tired as you"

And Draco knew, deep down he did know, in fact Potter had kind of confessed that only hours ago and he had been the only one to actually acknowledge the real issue.

"Everyone thinks I need to understand that Potter is in pain too, but that is not the issue, because really I get it. I just hate that I could never make a choice about this and even now that I'm close to an answer I still can't!"

"Not to mention all the choices the Dark Lord took from me"

"But you did" she said with a kind smile "you could have ended this yourself, but you choose to live and to hope that things will get better, sometimes that is the hardest choice of all"

Draco didn't know what to say, but he knew the woman was right, in fact he had made that exact choice all summer and the years before, he always chose to live.

"I will try to tell him to come here with me" he eventually said.

"Did you two talk?" she asked surprised

"Yeah… at least enough to get to an agreement of not-fighting between us… I think…" he said and she nodded

"That is really good… in fact it my help with the other thing I wanted to talk to you"

And he looked carefully at her, it didn't look like bad news, but she was clearly nervous.

"It is rare to have students that want to be healers, we get one or two every year, most of them just apply for St. Mungus, some do a masters before that to get more skills to be accepted. You are one of the few that directly came to me to ask for an apprenticeship"

"I did that?"

"What do you think I'm doing with you all this time?" she laughed "thing is, Terry Boot, he is in your year, Ravenclaw, he wants to be a healer and he got all the OWLs he will need, but he wanted to be more subject focused for his NEWTs, so he came to me for help, but I was hoping to connect you two as well, so he can ask you for help too"

Draco actually stopped to take that into consideration, he wasn't going to teach the boy, just help, so it shouldn't take much of his time. What would do however was expose him more than he should.

"I can't" he said resigned

"It's going to take too much of your time"

"No... that is not... I'm in a complicated position and… I'm not advertising my relation with Potter, I don't want others to question my... loyalties" Draco said nervous and the woman took a deep breath an looked at him a bit sad.

"Well… just know you might see Boot here, so if you're playing a part, make sure you have your story straight" she said before he left and he was glad she understood him so well.

Draco knew she was right, he needed to plan his lies more carefully, especially if he was going to fool Snape and his classmates, work on a secret project and do whatever he was doing with Potter. The Gryffindor obviously was his more wild problem, he was bad at keeping secrets and he shared everything with Weasley and Granger, so every secret with him would have at least two more people on the know.

It made Draco jealous that he couldn't rely on his friends as Potter could, telling them anything would just put them at risk and there were already too many people on the known, many people that could let something escape or simply betray them and the best protection his friends would have would be their ignorance.

It just shows that when you're wickedyou're left only on your own.

—

I've been hearing this song the entire week, I couldn't help it.