Letter to Clair Marie Ward, Hogwarts

My Dearest Clair,

I am ever so pleased to hear my curriculum has prepared you for your education at Hogwarts. Thank you for thinking of my brother. Harvey's transition to the long term ward at St. Mungo's is going smoothly. The Healers are smitten and give him more sweets than they ought.

Regarding communications, I have heard troubling news regarding the Floo Network and breaches in privacy. There are many things to catch up on, but it seems we may have to wait a little longer.

Until then, err on the side of caution. Rest assured, we will meet again soon.

Sincerely yours,

Matilda Camille Wright

P.S. I do hope you find the courage to come out of your head more than once in a while. It doesn't befit a lady to dwell solely in her own thoughts.

The next morning I heard my alarm but let it ring. My entire body ached from overexertion. In addition, I'd gone to bed when the sun had already begun to rise.

The chaos in my mind reigned supreme as I lay in bed, dealing and sorting the events in my mind like a stack of poker cards. The run-in with the werewolf, the dog, the stag, the Order of the Phoenix, and about fifteen other things that had to do with Regulus Black and Gideon Prewett brewed with no ready results.

But as I lay there, the last line from Ms. Matilda rang in my mind:

"It doesn't befit a lady to dwell solely in her own thoughts."

I shook my head and decided to open the canopy of my four-poster bed. It was a bright and sunny day despite the cold weather. The morning air felt bright and crisp on my skin as I watched Lily select a tie from her trunk while Marlene applied her lipstick in the vanity.

Perhaps Ms. Matilda was right, I mused. Maybe I just needed to live in the moment a little more, and notice my surroundings better.

Just then I heard Marlene's voice cut through my thoughts with the morning's latest gossip:

"I heard Montgomery Fairchild is visiting Tonya Tuppence's family over the Holiday!" announced Marlene, "Can you imagine those two snogging? He'll have to use a step stool to reach her!" she tittered with a mischievous grin.

"Marlene you're a terror! I think they're absolutely adorable together. He really likes her you know?" replied Lily.

"Well, you know what they say about short wizards with long wands…"

"Marlene!" Lily said laughing and rolling her eyes.

Marlene's teasing disposition and fashion sense were two things I'd always admired. She was the kind of person who made you feel like you were her favorite person in the world. In addition, she always knew the freshest gossip which made morning chats akin to reading the Hogwarts version of the Prophet.

"Alright, alright, I'll stop," relented McKinnon with a wicked grin, "Besides, we've got our own mystery right here in the room. Ward, pray tell what kept you out all night? Please tell me he's tall, dark and irreconcilably handsome. It's much more predictable that way."

"Don't tease her," said Lily defending me; "she's sensitive,"

"Black, I presume?" Marlene asked with a sly smile.

I flushed red.

"Oh, and it seems I've hit the nail on the head!"

"Ooh" squealed Lily, "I knew it!"

I didn't know how to tell them I was thinking of a Black boy, but not the one they imagined.

Just then we heard a rapping sound against glass. Outside the tower window was an enormous grey horned owl carrying a large package. Lily opened the window wider and the owl came flapping in and placed the package on my bed, narrowly missing Lily's head with its considerable wingspan.

The box it brought in was broad and flat, wrapped with a black ribbon and addressed to me.

Miss Clair Ward, Gryffindor Tower

Curious, I opened the box. My eyes widened as I unearthed a set of handsome blue-grey dress robes. The silken material shimmered softly in the morning light.

"Blimey…" breathed Marlene

"Did Sirius send that?" asked Lily with a sly smile.

"Pardon?"

"You are going with him tonight, aren't you?" added Lily.

"Well…"

My palms began to feel sweaty as I nervously turned away from Lily and took the dress out of the box. As I lifted the robes, a letter fell from the folds onto the ground.

Before I could stop her, Lily reached over and pick up the envelope that had fallen. As she held it her bright green eyes shot wide open in recognition.

"R.A.B…?" Lily read aloud and then paused; "Good Godric! Are these from Regulus Black?"

"No!" Marlene's eyes looked as round as coins as she dashed over to Lily's side, "Sirius' kid brother? The Slytherin Seeker?" she exclaimed, grabbing the envelope from Lily's hands.

"In all my years in the Slug Club he's never invited anyone to the Christmas party…" said Lily deep in thought.

"Well, go on then. Open the letter Clair. What does it say?" Marlene said, handing the letter back to me.

Taking the envelope from their hands, I opened it as far from their prying eyes as possible.

Letter to Miss Clair Ward

In hopes you will still consider accompanying me tonight, please accept this small token of my sincerity.

-RAB

Folding the parchment, I put it back in the envelope and looked at the owl still perched on the windowsill, looking at me expectantly with its big yellow eyes. Marlene and Lily's faces mirrored the owls expression.

"Well…?" prompted Lily.

I felt torn.

What Moody and Fabian said the night before made sense. For the plan to work, I needed to accept the invitation and attend. No one could be any wiser of my suspicions or our preparations for this to work. They were all to think I was clueless to any plans of Dark Mark ceremonies and whatever would ensue that night.

And yet the deception felt wrong somehow when I thought of Regulus' soulful eyes and his crooked little smile that he often tried to hide.

But then I felt the weight of the opal ring sitting on my finger and thought of the black wax seal and Gideon's tears from the night before. I thought of my parents, my grandmother, and the bright green light I had seen from her room before she died. I thought of the car crash along the country road and the Death Eaters who had disguised themselves as Ministry workers.

No, this was not the time to lose my head over petty things like fancy gifts, dress robes and parties. My parents were dead, my grandmother was dead, and the people who killed them were gathering tonight to kill me.

I couldn't afford to get distracted by the minutia of romantic attachment despite how flattering the attention felt. No one could know what I was planning. I needed to play my part and play it well.

With a newly renewed mindset and a settled determination, I took a deep breath and returned the gaze from Lily and Marlene's expectant faces.

Against my nature, though it was becoming more and more common, I held my tongue and simply nodded.

Shrieks of excitement filled the room.

"A Slytherin and a Gryffindor," said Marlene, "I never thought I'd see the day."

I bit my lip. This was the right thing to do, I convinced myself. But why did I feel like it wasn't?

"Where are Potter and the others? It's not like Lupin to miss an exam," Lily asked as we finished our last exam and headed to the Great Hall for Lunch. "Did they mention anything to you yesterday?"

I shrugged nonchalantly. The Marauders had missed every class so far, including our Defense against the Dark Arts final.

Suddenly, a dark figure bumped into us and cursed loudly. I narrowed my eyes, turning to see who it was.

"Severus…" breathed Lily as the Snape looked back instinctively at the sound of his name.

I watched as Lily's almond green eyes met Snape's. The world seemed to come to a still. But then he broke the eye contact as quickly as it had been made and brushed past without a word.

Since the day at the green house, Lily hadn't mentioned Snape once. She instead chose to talk incessantly about her school work or the Apparition class fundraiser, but I knew he was still on her mind by the way I heard her cry at night when she thought everyone was asleep.

We watched as Snape stormed off, his large cloak billowing behind him like an overgrown bat. I observed Lily's eyes well up with tears and I was suddenly reminded of the way he had sneered and brushed her off while she was on her knees begging him to come back.

For some reason, the memory struck a chord in my mind and without thinking, I broke off from the group.

"Clair, where are you going?" Marlene shouted after me.

But I didn't reply.

Instead, my mind was focused on following the greasy-haired git snaking his way through the crowd. During my pursuit, I thought of seven ways to hex him, each worse and more satisfying than the last. After all, he wouldn't need all of his toes in the long run would he?

Soon we were far from the crowd when I realized Snape was heading to the Hospital Wing.

Perfect, I thought to myself; Just where he'd be going once I was through with him.

Rounding the corner, I drew my wand ready to attack when suddenly my aggressions were interrupted by an awful scream cutting through the air.

Startled I paused, looking around to see where the sound had come from. While I was distracted, Snape slipped through the doors into the Hospital Wing. I cursed internally, having lost my chance for a clean shot.

But now my curiosity was peaked. What could possibly be happening inside for someone to be making that awful sound?

A lightbulb sparked as I thought back to the Defense Against the Dark Arts final we had just taken.

Disillusionment was a painless process but I still shivered as the feeling of a raw egg being cracked over my head crept down my spine. I was now blending into my surroundings like a human chameleon, a useful spell I learned from the Prewetts the week before that I was pretty sure guaranteed me an Outstanding on the exam.

Stepping through the hospital doors, the strong smell of antiseptics and bleach sent my heart racing to when Nate and I visited St. Mungo's to see our parent's bodies before they were interred. But thinking of Ms. Matilda's words, I pushed past my mental block and did my best to focus on the situation at hand.

The cries were considerably louder within the room, and were now punctuated by the sounds of bangs and medical jargon spoken in quick hushed voices. And despite the portent sounds of medical horror, nothing could have prepared me for what I saw past the privacy screens of the innermost beds.

There, behind a large divider, was Remus Lupin laying in the hospital cot, unclothed from the waist up revealing multiple deep lacerations all bleeding profusely. He was thrashing wildly, held down by Madame Pomfrey; two Healers I did not recognize worked on him, their hands were covered in blood.

One of the Healers was cutting the rest of his hospital gown from his body, the other had his wand pointed at a series of deep gashes all over his back and chest while Madame Pomfrey injected his arm with a sinister looking green potion. Soiled white towels tinged buckets of water a pale pink.

I stepped back, appalled. My stomach felt sick and I fought the urge to vomit from the sight. I ambled away as best as I could. The metallic tang of blood was too much for me.

Unsurprisingly, I spotted James, Sirius and Peter waiting silently on the far end of the hospital wing with the same look of consternation on their faces. So this was where they had been hiding.

Each of the Marauder's held themselves differently in the waiting area. Peter flinched each time Remus unleashed an ungodly scream. James looked the worst; He was hunched over, his hands covering his face. Sirius patted him soothingly on the back with a face full of concern.

That's when I noticed Sirius' arm in a sling. He had been injured as well. I figured the four of them had probably been up to no good last night, but something must've gone terribly wrong for them to be in such bad shape.

Just then James stood up and stormed out of the room into the hall. I watched Snape scramble to hide himself from view as Potter walked by him without noticing his presence or my own. Sirius and Peter got up and chased after him.

I followed them outside into the empty hall. James paced wildly, his footsteps echoing in the empty corridor.

"It's all my fault," said James loudly, "I did this to him!"

"Prongs, keep it down! " said Sirius in a hushed whisper; "It's no one's fault. None of us could have known she would be there last night!"

Confused, I drew closer.

"No, you weren't there when he started biting and attacking himself last night! He was ashamed!" argued James, "Ward almost died or worse!"

I breathed in sharply. What in the world did I have to do with this?

Sirius stood up, "Stop being soft Prongs! Moony can't think or feel anything when he's in that form! And what do you say we do then? Just leave our best mate to suffer by himself every full moon?"

"No!" James shouted, "I just don't think we should be running around school grounds with our furry little problem anymore!"

There was silence as they glared at one another heatedly.

"James, Sirius, maybe we should keep it down. We don't want people to hear," said Peter quietly.

James and Sirius exhaled sharply at the same time, and reluctantly came back into the ward and took their seats in the waiting area once more.

It was quiet now. I figured they must have sedated Remus while we were outside.

After a moment, James turned to Sirius and observed his arm in the sling and sighed.

"I'm sorry mate, I didn't mean to shout," said James taking off his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose before putting them back on; "You got hurt too last night, and I just… I was scared for you, for Clair… for all of us. When he broke past me and I couldn't catch up, I thought–"

James didn't finished his sentence but put his hands over his face once more. The fight in Sirius fizzled out as he watched James' body begin to shake, and put his hand on James' shoulder.

"James, look, I'm sorry too," replied Sirius, "You're right, no more of this. Next full moon, we'll make sure he stays inside the Whomping Willow. This will never happen again."

Just then the clues added up like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle falling into place. My eyes widened as I came to the realization that the werewolf from the night before was in fact Remus John Lupin.

I struggled to process what I'd just heard. My revenge upon Severus Snape became long forgotten as the new piece of information sank into place.

On one hand, I pitied Remus. I had always wondered about his haggard appearance and the shabby state of his wardrobe, but now it all made sense. He had been enduring this secret for who knows how long.

And yet as I walked back to the Great Hall, there existed an unsettling sensation in the pit of my stomach.

Betrayal.

With the Marauders, I had thought we shared everything since Halloween when I had bared my soul to them about Gryffindor's chain and my fears from my parent's deaths. Not even Nate was privy to those thoughts, yet I had let my walls down and allowed them in. But it seemed that feeling of closeness was not reciprocated since Remus and the others did not find it necessary to share their secret with me.

Had I been the only one with the impression of intimacy? Was I merely a burden for them to entertain at their whim? I had believed us to be a family of sort, and yet they had kept me at an arm's distance without me knowing; looking in from through a small window into their lives.

Not to mention the rest of their perplexing conversation. What did they mean by 'Let him get past me'? There had been no one there except for the stag and Snuffles last night.

I felt nauseous and wanted to get away so I headed down the hall as quietly as I could before removing the disillusionment charm.

"Feeling unwell?"

My heart fluttered at the familiar voice. Looking up, I found myself staring into deep grey eyes.

"Black!" I exclaimed, "You startled me."

Regulus was surprisingly on his own; his gang of Slytherins nowhere in sight.

"You seem to have startled yourself before I came along," he retorted with a ghost of a grin, "Was my package this morning to your liking? I hope it wasn't too forward."

"It was beautiful," I replied, trying not to look too pleased.

"Then I shall see you this evening," he declared pleasantly, before continuing on his way.

"Wait!" I proclaimed as he turned away.

Regulus paused, "Yes, Ms. Ward?"

"Are you going to the Hospital Wing?"

Unblinking Regulus looked me in the eye.

"Headache," he replied, "From exams."

And for the first time since we'd met on the train, I didn't believe him.

Coming back into the Great Hall surrounded by students celebrating the completion of the exams and the holidays felt like a return to normalcy from what I'd just seen. All around, papers were being flung into the air or burned while others discussed holiday plans.

In addition, preparations for the Christmas party went much differently than I expected. I was simply planning on changing into the dress robes Regulus had sent before heading to the Prewetts for any last minute game plans. However, Marlene cornered me after I'd come back to the Great Hall from the Hospital Wing. Immediately, Lily and I were given commands as detailed and critical as if we were an explosive ordinance disposal team being dispatched to an unknown terrain.

By the time I could escape to find the Prewetts, I'd been scrubbed, plucked, and waxed within an inch of my life, followed by an array of magical creams and liberal amounts of Sleekeazy's Hair Potion. Wearing my dress robes, I found it cumbersome to race up the steps as I normally did but I managed to make it to their office a quarter before the party began.

I looked around to make sure no one was following me before I knocked three times on the wooden door and entered.

"Hello?" I called out, entering the room tentatively.

Fabian was sitting behind the desk, grading papers. Gideon was nowhere in sight.

"Ms. Ward, just on time, as usual," said Fabian, looking up from the exam papers; "You look quite handsome."

"Um, thanks sir? Where's Gid– er, I mean, your brother?" I inquired.

"Recovering from last night. It seems pride takes longer to heal than alcohol poisoning, but he will be ready for tonight's plans. The question is, are you?"

I nodded.

I felt the wand holster on my leg where I stored my wand for quick access. The ring was on my finger, and the Chain of Gryffindor hung on my neck, tucked beneath the neckline of my robes. Marlene had suggested to take it off for one night since it didn't match the color of my outfit, but it was inconceivable to let it out of my sight.

"Do you have the ring?" Fabian asked.

I nodded, flashing the opal on my finger. Fabian stood from his seat and approached me to inspect it closely. I could feel the heat of his body and the rough callouses on his fingertips as he lifted my hand, leaning in for a better look.

"Good," he stated after finding no flaws in his overview, "Whatever happens do not remove it. We should be able to find you wherever they take you with that on your finger."

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. He then walked to the hearth and bent over looking at the flames. The wavering orange-red tongues of fire lit his face with its uneven glow. He sighed deeply before turning back to me and leaning against the mantle.

"I have assembled a team of Order members who will be at the ready tonight," he explained, "They will be waiting on your signal so do not call them until you're absolutely ready or the Death Eaters could scatter. Remember, they are willing to put their lives on the line for this mission to be accomplished."

I gulped, but nodded my head all the same. I felt nervous, but I told myself that this was what I wanted; to be an Auror, to fight for justice on the frontlines, to catch dark wizards and make them pay for what they've done. A surge of adrenaline shot through me just thinking about it.

"And Ms. Ward?"

"Yes?"

"Remember," he said, "Constant vigilance."

With those parting words, I left the office considerably more nervous than I'd been coming in.

But upon further thought, I realized I was nearly late to meet with Regulus as I passed the large clock above the wall that displayed the House Points for the year. We'd agreed to go in together at eight, and there were only five minutes left. And Regulus seemed like the kind of bloke who was on time for everything.

I arrived at the entrance hall with a minute to spare. As expected Regulus was already present.

He looked immaculate as usual, wearing a handsome set of all black robes and a thin black silk scarf above it all. He was a picture of refinement while I struggled not to slip over the hem of the robes in my pumps.

Various groups of girls prowled the vicinity looking for dateless stragglers. Some were watching Regulus longingly before shooting heated glares at me. Others chatted cattily about the various other witches who'd managed to wrangle invitations or whose dates had been invited.

"Good evening Ms. Ward," Regulus greeted with a bow, "Shall we get going?"

He took my hand and pressed it to his lips. Several girls began tittering incessantly. I flushed red and pulled my hand away quickly. Regulus seemed to be amused by my embarrassment but refrained from commenting and held out his arm for me to take.

He really was quite old-fashioned, I thought to myself. I couldn't tell if his anachronism was simply the way of pureblood society, or a personal preference that came from being dressed to the nines.

"It said on the invitation that the party would be held on the front lawn. Do you suppose it'll be hard to find?" I asked, nervous as usual about my lacking sense of direction.

"I reckon we'll spot it alright," replied Regulus reassuringly.

I leaned into his arm as we strolled out the double doors and was immediately put to ease as we were greeted by a canopy of lights.

The area of lawn right in front of the castle had been transformed into a vast sparkling tent of shimmering fabrics and glittering fairy lights. Though it was snowing outside, golden light ballooned over the vicinity creating a barrier that sparkled like glass while keeping the interior warm– like a snow globe in reverse. Inside everyone seemed to be bathed in a golden glow from the crystal chandeliers that hung precariously overhead.

A live goblin jazz band played in the corner; a particularly tall she-goblin sang in sultry tones while her hips swayed to the sound of the deep bass while a melodramatic tenor saxophone floated over it all. In particular I took in the beautiful mournful notes of the piano's melody, and for some reason I thought of Sirius' hands floating over the black and white keys.

The air was sweet and smoky from a group of elderly warlocks smoking cigars in a corner, engaged in a lively conversation. Students, faculty and Slughorn's special guests filled the rest of the space dressed in their finery. I spotted Celestina Warbeck surrounded by a group of witches asking for her photo and autographs while Regulus pointed out Greer Gilly, inventor of Gillywater, and Steven Queen, author of a best-selling series of horror novels about Muggle attacks on Wizarding Society.

It soon became unsurprisingly apparent to me that in addition to his perfect grades, athletic abilities, and thestral-whispering skills, Regulus Black was also a natural in this world of schmoozing.

We flitted from group to group meeting notable and praiseworthy scientists, athletes, entertainers, and reporters until we took a break from socializing in a quiet corner, nursing martini glasses of Gillywater, provided to the party by Mr. Gilly himself– as he mentioned repeatedly to us while we'd been in his company.

Just as I fished the olive from the bottom of my glass, Professor Slughorn meandered his way out from the group of warlocks and set his sights upon us.

"Regulus Black and Clair Ward! What a fine looking pair you two make!" boomed Slughorn; "There are so many people I'd like you both to meet!"

Slughorn was wearing a velvet smoking jacket and matching slippers. In his hand was a large glass of mead, sloshing precariously within the cup as he walked over and pulled us with him back into the fray, allowing us no room to protest.

"Regulus, Clair, I'd like you to meet Damocles Belby, famous Healer and potioneer. Belby here is was my best student during his years at Hogwarts. But I reckon Ward here could give you a run for your money with her Draught of Living Death!"

Belby was a middle-aged wizard with minuscule half-moon glasses set upon an aquiline nose; his curling tan hair was turning white at the temples. He looked at me with curiosity before reaching out a nimble hand for me to shake.

"Ward? As in Leonidas Ward's daughter?" he asked with a lilting Welsh accent, while pushing his glasses up.

"One and the same!" proclaimed Slughorn before I could reply and clapped me a little harder than I'm sure he meant on the back.

At his heavy hand, my drink spilled out and splattered onto the front of Belby's robes. Before I could apologize, Regulus has his wand out and waved it in a series of intricate minute movements so that hot air streamed out of the tip; he then pointed this at Belby's robes, which began to steam as they dried out.

"Excellent charm work Regulus m'boy!" exclaimed Slughorn, "I'd expect nothing less from a member of Black family! I've never met a student so driven to succeed from such a young age as this one here."

Regulus smiled softly; "How kind of you Professor, but I'm sure that has more to do with your inspirational teaching methods than any traits I can claim as my own," he replied graciously.

I did my best to stifle a snort by lifting my empty Gillywater glass to my lips.

"As much as I'd love to stay and chat," Regulus continued, "I've just spotted a friend to whom I owe my regard. Would you please excuse us?"

Regulus pulled me after him into the large crowd before Slughorn could get another word in. I couldn't tell if he had really seen a friend or was merely bluffing; either way I was impressed by how smoothly he managed the situation and had gotten us away.

We reached a secluded corner flanked by two benches that overlooked a large ice sculpture of a unicorn. I took a seat at the bench to rest my aching feet. But just as we sat, a group of Slytherins approached us whom I recognized as Regulus' friends.

Out of the bunch I only recognized a few of them by name, while the others I knew by sight.

The blonde witch with cropped hair was none other than Ethel Rosier. She was a year above me, captain and star chaser of the Slytherin House Quidditch Team, as well as the reigning queen of Slytherin House. The tall, ever-present shadow by her side was Preston Fawley, the taciturn grandson of Hector Fawley who'd been the Minister for Magic for over a decade in the twenties.

Together, the two of them were celebrities of the school in their own right, known for their fabulous wealth and the luxurious parties they'd throw in the Slytherin Common Room. Rumor had it that Ethel shagged Slughorn when he'd gotten piss drunk at the annual Christmas party two years prior. Needless to say, her soirees were never shut down, even with the copious amounts of recreational drugs her brother, Evan, peddled at the parties.

"Reggie, dearest, whatever are you doing in this corner all alone with this lovely waif? People might get the wrong idea," Ethel teased.

Her voice was an unexpected alto, contrasting her pixie-like features.

"Good to see you too, Ethel," replied Regulus cooly.

"Ethel Rosier," said Ethel introducing herself, "And this big bloke here is Preston Fawley."

"Clair Ward," I returned, unsure of her character beyond what I'd heard from McKinnon through the grapevine.

"Ah, our very own Miss Americana. Your brother is very handsome by the way. Might you be a dear and introduce us one of these days?"

Preston grunted.

"Er, sure," I replied, caught off guard by her request.

"Wonderful. Love the dress robes by the way," added Ethel, closing the distance between us and straightening the neckline of my dress, "I'd recognize Madam Sinclair's exquisite handiwork anywhere."

Just then I saw Lily and James walk by, on their way to refill drinks from a table with a mermaid ice sculpture.

Then suddenly Ethel spoke a little louder, "I find Hogsmeade fast fashion much too démodé for occasions such as these. But it seems not everyone's gotten the memo about Madame Pendragon's being last century!"

Lily's face turned red as she overheard the comment, crossing her arms over her bottle green dress robes she'd gotten from Madame Pendragon's. Ethel watched eagerly to see how Lily would react, and seemed greatly disappointed when James put an arm around her shoulder and ushered her forward without a second glance.

"Boo…" Ethel pouted, "And here I was hoping wee-baby Potter would provide us with more entertainment tonight. This party is getting dreadfully boring. Don't you agree babe?"

Fawley nodded, his expression blank.

Ethel sighed, and took her drink from his hands and downed it in consolation.

All the while, I fought the urge to slap the glass from her hand and hex her to oblivion. Regulus was alright, but this witch was ghastly. I took a deep breath and reminded myself of the reason I was there in the first place.

Just then another group of Slytherins joined us.

"Cheer up, sister," said Evan Rosier appearing from behind Fawley. "After all, we all know we'll be hosting the real party after this snooze fest,"

Evan Rosier was the same year at Regulus. He was tall and slim, his freckled face punctuated by dark blue eyes beneath thick blonde lashes matching his sandy blonde curls. Many assumed he would play for the house team when he got to Hogwarts like his sister, but McKinnon told me he spent more time over a cauldron with Severus Snape, brewing up new hallucinogenic designer potions for the students of Hogwarts to get high.

By Evan's side was Bartemius Crouch Junior, whom I recognized from the various Ministry-MACUSA balls held at the Embassy, where we'd be paired together for waltzes since we were six. While a well-loved face among proper society, I knew Barty to be unusually cruel in private, pulling pig tails, stealing sweets and other sorts of petty crime. But from what I'd heard, he had graduated to bigger better unkindness-es in more recent years.

Together, the five of them were the most exclusive and elite clique at Hogwarts; each of them heirs to their own estates and would inherit sizable trust funds when they were of age. Initially I expected them to treat me cruelly on account of my father's muggleborn status, but as the conversation went on, I had a feeling they were not unaware of the wealth of gold sitting in the Ward family vault at Gringotts.

There were also two other girls I did not know the names of. One was tall and slim with long dark hair and clear eyes. The other was short and round, with a square jaw. They remained silent as Ethel continued to speak.

"Ward," said Ethel, "You are planning on coming by with Reggie here tonight aren't you? I'd love to show a Gryffindor what it really means to have some fun!"

I smiled nervously. Regulus put his hand around the small of my back.

"Of course she is," he replied on my behalf, "But it seems like our drinks have run out. Would you excuse us?"

"Yes dear, but just remember, if you skive I'll tell the whole school that you two were shagging in a broom closet," said Ethel with a wink.

I flushed red, but Regulus' face didn't falter.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," he replied simply as we made our leave.

As we went to the table of drinks, I spotted the back of Lily's head by her flaming red hair.

"Would you excuse me? I feel it's time for me to have a visit to the powder room," I said in the most agreeable tone that I could manage. Regulus acquiesced with a cursory nod. I felt bad for leaving him by himself, but at that moment I wanted nothing more than a moment of respite from the pool of sharks.

I found Lily watching the jazz band with James and Marlene, Peter and the Fortescue girl were by the dessert table, but Remus was nowhere in sight.

James was wearing a set of dapper brown dress robes that accentuated his hazel eyes nicely. But upon closer view, it was apparent that James had tried to smooth back his unruly black hair with something akin to pomade, but each strand was fighting tooth and nail to spring back into their usual placement.

"Clair!" exclaimed Marlene as I came into view, "How's everything going with the other Black?"

"He's been pleasant. His friends, much less so," I replied, while keeping my eyes alert to who could be watching us.

"Serves you right," said James severely, as I watched him fight the urge to muss his hair by clutching the glass of mead he held, "I can't believe you came with that toff. Is this supposed to be revenge for the other night?"

His comment drew raised eyebrows from the girls.

"Revenge?" said Lily.

"What happened the other night?" asked Marlene.

I groaned. This was the last thing I needed at the moment.

"Where's Lupin?" I asked, changing the subject.

Part of me knew it was a redundant question for I knew he was most likely still in the Hospital Wing recovering. But the other side of myself wanted to see what James would come up with; which of his bald-faced lies would he tell straight to my face and expect me not to notice?

Suddenly, I smelled a familiar spiced cologne as I felt the heat of a hard body press against my back, arms wrapping around my shoulders.

"Moony's sick as a dog love, but I'm here."

I whipped around and shoved Sirius' arms off of me. I noted he was out of his sling.

"Geroff me Black! What're you doing here?"

Marlene looked sheepish: "Well, Remus was feeling under the weather, and I didn't want to come alone so…"

I huffed. I didn't have time for this drama especially since my usual tolerance for Marauder antics were in short supply.

"What's got your knickers in a twist?" Sirius retaliated with his signature grin. "Jealous Marlene asked me first?"

"Hardly," I spat, "Though I pity Marlene for having a date as smarmy as you."

Sirius raised an eyebrow at my harshness.

"I resent that," sneered Sirius, "Who'd you end up coming with? Dennis Dinkleton?"

"Regulus Black," replied James, sternly.

Sirius' face suddenly lost all its humor.

"You're not serious are you?"

"No, I believe that's your name. And I'll have you know that Regulus has been a perfect gentleman all evening. You gits could learn a thing or two!"

"All I've learned from my baby brother is to never let anyone convince me to part my hair down the middle," stated Sirius.

"Look, I know you two don't get along–"

"Don't get along?" asked Sirius incredulously, "No Ward, children 'don't get along'. The rift between Regulus and I is a matter of good and evil."

I huffed but Sirius lowered his voice and continued:

"My prat of a brother worships the ground You-Know-Who walks on. He even has this board in his room where he pins up every Prophet article about Death Eaters and what they're doing. He's mental I tell you. I don't know what kind of game he's playing at, but there's no way in hell he would ask you to this party if there wasn't something in it for him! I thought you and Lupin were taking care of that little hiccough tonight!" Sirius said, adding the last part in a whisper.

While I was very aware and prepared for whatever hidden agenda Regulus had plans for this evening, my pride felt attacked. I began to feel the bubbling sensation in the pit of my stomach that came right before I would say things I'd later regret.

"Oh, so it's that inconceivable to you that someone could actually want to ask me out to a nice night unless there's an ulterior motive?" I exclaimed a little louder than I meant to.

Sirius' face turned red.

"That's not what I said!"

"But that's what you meant isn't it?" I scathed; "Look, I know I'm plain, but not all girls lead blokes around by their meat puppets for attention– Some of us actually have thoughts and feelings!"

Sirius scowled, "Ward, what are you waffling about?"

"Just because you only talk to girls to shag them, doesn't mean every bloke feels the same way!"

"Clair, you're being mental–"

"You know what I'm talking about!" I said, thinking back to our moment in the music room followed by the sight of him shagging Mona Putridge in the Gryffindor dorms.

Sirius rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

"Look, I know what this is about. You've fallen for me. That makes this awfully uncomfortable, seeing as you came here with my brother and all–"

"AS IF!" I shouted.

Suddenly the glass in my hand shattered and I was covered in Gillywater. But before I could say anything else, Lily put her hand on my shoulder.

"Clair…" said Lily, "Everyone's looking…"

I bit my lip, shaking from anger and dripping Gillywater onto the floor. In my rage I'd been oblivious to my surroundings; but as I looked around, I saw that everyone was indeed staring at Sirius and I. Even the band and the she-goblin singer had stopped crooning to hear what we were rowing over.

My face felt hot with embarrassment, and I felt tears prickling the back of my eyes.

"Sirius Black, you are a swine!"

Just then Regulus cut his way through the crowd and appeared at my side.

"What's going on?" he asked me gently, his hands on my shoulders.

Seeing the tears in my eyes, his face hardened.

"What did you say to her?" Regulus demanded, turning to Sirius, looking him in the eye.

"Nothing that wasn't true," Sirius scathed, arms still folded.

James stood by his side, hand hovering over his wand pocket threateningly.

"Come on, Regulus," I whispered looking down, "Let's go."

Regulus mouth opened slightly at my use of his first name, but I didn't care. I was feeling embarrassed by the scene we were causing and wanted to go somewhere without prying eyes.

He then took off his outer robe and draped it over my bare shoulders. I pulled the warm material closer to my wet body as he took my hand and guided my stumbling gait through the main entrance back into the castle.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me," I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking.

I reasoned I could blame it on the cold from being wet with Gillywater, but in reality it was because I'd felt Gryffindor's chain grow hot the moment before the cup shattered in my hand.

"My brother has that effect on people," he said with a perturbed look on his face as he thought of Sirius; "But no matter, let's get you dried off."

Regulus took out his wand and performed the same drying spell on me as he had for Belby earlier that night. Seeing the stain come off and feeling warmer, my mood eased significantly.

"Thank you," I said with a grateful smile. "I'm sorry I made you leave the party early."

"You're apologizing too much. I was getting tired of rubbing shoulders anyways. Besides, you are the only one I'm interested in getting to know more tonight."

I flushed and wondered how many other girls he'd won over with that line before.

I looked up to see him gazing deeply into my eyes. Flustered I looked away, trying to think of something– anything to say.

"T-The castle is quite beautiful, I've never seen such a large collection of enchanted armor before!" I said, directing our attention to the moving metal suits that saluted me upon my compliment to them.

I mentally slapped my forehead. Suits of armor Clair? Really?

But luckily Regulus merely chuckled.

"If you are interested in the castle, then there's something I'd like to show you," he said with a sly smile before taking my hand into his.

We went up the staircase until we were almost at the Gryffindor Tower on the seventh floor, but instead of going straight to the common room, we made a left at the landing and entered a long corridor with a tapestry of Barnabus the Barmy attempting to teach trolls ballet. I raised an eyebrow at the tapestry.

"Close your eyes," said Regulus.

I tried to keep a smile on my face to show no signs of suspicion, but my heart began to race.

Perhaps this was it, I thought to myself; the moment when Death Eaters spring out and try to kill me. But moments passed, and I was still in one piece.

"Can I look now?"

"Go on," said Regulus.

I opened my eyes expecting an empty classroom, but instead we were greeted with a beautiful library filled with books on ancient magic and the dark arts. The smell of parchment and ink soothed me as I brushed my fingers against the tomes while a large fire crackled cozily. In the middle of the room were large plush armchairs and divans placed around a rich Persian rug. On the far wall was a large oil portrait of a young girl with blonde hair. Multiple glasses and a large selection of whiskey sat upon an ornate bar cart. I heard the sound of gears shifting from above just in time to see that the ceiling was actually a planetarium marked with constellations as it shifted to portray a shooting star crossing its celestial expanse.

"Regulus, this place is beautiful! Is this a hidden library?"

"Of sorts," said Regulus looking around, his hands behind his back, "Today it is a library, tomorrow… who knows?"

"How is that so?" I asked, opening up a particularly interesting book on spell making.

"It seems this room only appears to those who need it. And therefore it adjusts itself to those desires as they come. I call it the Come-and-Go room."

"I see, so does that mean you wished for a library?"

"I wished for a place where you would be comfortable," he replied, "It seems you're quite fond of whiskey," he said gesturing to the bar cart.

"Just a tad partial to the occasional nightcap," I said with a mischievous grin, "My father used to make diluted ones for my brother and I when we couldn't sleep."

"Allow me," he replied.

Regulus in his shirtsleeves and waistcoat, rolled up his sleeves and began adding American whiskey, English vermouth, and a few dashes of aromatic bitters to a mixing glass with ice. He strained the mixture into a chilled coupe and garnished the glass with a brandied cherry.

"A transatlantic Manhattan, for Miss Americana," Regulus teased.

I smiled and pretended to take a sip, not wanting to dim my vigilance with alcohol. I walked around the room, appreciating the large painting of the young girl on the far wall. There was something familiar about her cornflower blue eyes that seemed to twinkle as she smiled serenely in the dim firelight.

As I continued to peruse the library I noticed a record player and a shelf of vinyls.

"Do you like music?" I asked tentatively, trying to think of conversation that would interest him.

"I enjoy Chopin's nocturnes, and Tchaikovsky at times when I'm in the mood for something more exotic; but not anything in particular," replied Regulus casually before taking a seat before the fire.

My heart shrank slightly. It seemed he and Sirius were very different after all.

"How's this then?" I asked before putting on Chopin's second nocturne.

As the record spun, the sound of a piano playing in E-flat wove its way through the room with divine graceful steps, leaping and soaring before dipping its beautiful head into a mournful gait.

I draped myself over the divan and closed my eyes to enjoy the melody. I found myself wondering if Regulus was also an accomplished pianist like his brother. But before I could ask, I felt the cushion shift. I opened my eyes to see that Regulus had taken a seat beside me, mirroring my position and leaning the side of his head against the backrest.

Sitting like this, he was very close. I could count the freckles on his face, and my eyes followed the fine angle of his jawline leading up to his pale lips that were slightly parted in relaxation. The tension around his eyes had loosened as well; the effect of it made him look younger and more pleasant than his usual haughty expression. Before I could stop myself, I reached out and tucked a stray black curl behind his exposed ear.

"You seem more comfortable here than with your friends," I observed aloud without thinking.

I chided myself internally as Regulus' grey orbs looked up at me questioningly. But he merely gave a sad smile.

"My friends have been my friends for a long time– since we were born. We rode on toy broomsticks, ran around the gardens, and played together long before Hogwarts. We have… grown apart in some regards, but I can't deny there's comfort in their familiarity," explained Regulus.

"Grown apart?" I questioned, "How so?"

Regulus looked at me curiously, and hesitated for a brief moment. I was about to retract my question, not wanting him to feel uncomfortable, but before I could say anything more he pressed on to answer my inquiry.

"For instance, I felt it was uncalled for when Ethel tried to provoke your dear red-headed friend, muggleborn as she is. But I find myself excusing their behavior as harmless. The Ethel I know is extremely caring, cries easily and maternal to a fault at times," he confided.

As he spoke of Ethel Rosier, I couldn't help but notice a certain look in his eye that I hadn't seen before, perhaps of unrequited love.

"Evan is my best mate," he continued; "He thinks he's a big swinger now with his potion bottles of Lucy and Liberties, but he wasn't always like that. We… we used to play Quidditch in our gardens; he was the best Keeper around. Could beat anyone at Gobstones and Wizard's Chess…"

His gaze seemed far away as he spoke of better days. I felt that we were kindred spirits in that regard. I realized then that this was the most I'd ever heard him speak at once.

Suddenly he paused, looking embarrassed for a split-second.

"I'm sorry, this must all be very boring. To be honest, I don't know why I'm saying all this to you," he stated matter-of-factly as the walls in his eyes began coming up again.

"No!" I replied a little louder than I meant to, and put my hand on his knee reassuringly, "It's not boring at all. In fact, I find myself wanting to know more about you… every bit."

Regulus looked me in the eye with his signature sad smile. Reaching up hesitantly, he stroked my cheek with the pad of his thumb before lifting my chin with his fingertips.

In that moment, I couldn't believe a soul as gentle as his could possibly become a Death Eater out of his own free will. There must have been some mistake, my intuition told me; and yet, I felt as if I was walking on a razor's edge as we drew nearer. But in that moment, I didn't care about what lay ahead. All I wanted was to be closer to him.

"Clair Ward," he whispered, his lips a mere paper's breadth away from mine, "There's something I must tell you–…"

Just then Regulus' recoiled and drew his hand back as if something had burned him.

"Regulus, what is it?" I asked.

Regulus cursed, but suddenly a strange look crossed his face as he checked his platinum pocket watch. It was engraved with the Black family crest and motto 'Toujours Pur'.

Suddenly I felt self-conscious. Had he stopped because I was a half-blood? Or was his conscience appealing to him?

"It seems Ethel's after party has begun. We shouldn't be late," he said briskly, standing up.

I said nothing about my disappointment and swallowed my selfishness.

Tonight was supposed to be about catching Death Eaters red-handed and stopping Hogwarts students from being branded with the Dark Mark, of whom included Regulus Black.

The Slytherin Common Room was located in the dungeons. To get there, we passed through a door on the right side of the Entrance Hall. Behind the door was a set of steps that descended deep underground. There we came to a bare stretch of stone wall.

"Basilisk," said Regulus in a clear voice.

The wall slid open to reveal a long underground room, presently filled with smoke. It was crowded inside; dim light shined down from the round, green lamps that hung overhead. The sound of a record player spinning a mournful melody created a mood of leisurely glamour as Slytherins lounged about drinking, playing cards and snogging in dark corners.

Ethel and Evan Rosier, Fawley, and Crouch reclined on the various sofas and carved armchairs in an inner circle before the fireplace. With them were two busty brunette twins and the girl with long black hair I'd seen at Slughorn's party. In the outer ring were other less popular or talented students from pureblooded families clambering to be noticed, and unsurprisingly Severus Snape.

As we drew near, it became apparent that Snape was sitting with them to man the cauldron simmering over the fireplace. Inside the cauldron was a vivid violet potion responsible for releasing the thick purple-tinged smoke into the air. The vapors smelled sweet like burnt sugar, but made me feel light-headed as we came closer to the source of the fumes.

"Welcome to the party Black, Ward; You two came just in time! We were about to start on the prime puff without you," said Evan, ushering us into the inner circle.

Regulus with his languid movements and hooded eyes seemed to fit right in as he took a seat by Evan and motioned for me to sit next to him.

As I settled into the sofa, I caught Snape looking at me with his bottomless black eyes. I averted my gaze, uncomfortable with his judging stare and wondered how often students visited common rooms outside of their own.

"Just sit back, relax, and enjoy," said Evan as he leaned towards the brunette witch sitting by him and they began snogging.

I looked away feeling extremely awkward from the public display of affection, but none of the others batted an eye. Presumably this was something that happened often.

"Reggie dearest, I was getting worried you wouldn't make it after you left Slughorn's so early," commented Ethel, "Where did you two go?

"She's right, I don't think I've ever seen you late to anything," said Barty with a smirk.

"Just showing Ms. Ward here around the castle," Regulus replied smoothly.

Barty Crouch whistled low and began cackling:

"We all know what that means!" he exclaimed, elbowing the black haired girl next to him; "So how was he Ward? Did you like the taste of his parsnips? Or did he take a dip in your missus?"

I blushed a bright red.

To be honest, I had no idea what he was talking about, much less how to respond, but I knew it didn't sound good.

Just then Regulus pulled out his wand and pointed it at Barty before giving it an intricate little wave. In an instant, the place where Barty's mouth should have been was covered by a smooth expanse of skin.

"Do shut up Crouch," said Regulus.

The circle roared with laughter as they watched Barty try to perform a nonverbal counter curse to no avail. Instead Crouch was stuck making muffled cries and groans, gagged by his own flesh.

"Well, I think it's rather sweet," said one of the brunette twins as she blew smoke rings and charmed them into heart shapes; "Getting to know each other before fucking that is."

I choked on my spit, and began coughing in an unladylike manner.

Evan Rosier threw his arm around her shoulders and began groping her breast casually, "You think Black here is sweet babe? Then what am I?"

She leaned in close to him, and raked her long nails across his chest before suddenly blowing a stream of smoke into his face.

"A rake," she replied, returning to her seat as if nothing had happened.

The outer circle laughed as Evan scowled, coughing as he waved his hands to clear the air.

Just then Fawley passed me what looked like a hand-rolled fag.

I froze, not wanting to touch the joint. But when I realized that the entire circle was now looking at me, I took the roll from him, not wanting to cause a scene. Unsure of what I was doing, I lifted it to my lips and took a drag like I'd seen movie stars do on the big screen.

"She's a natural Black!" Evan remarked with a smirk.

I passed the fag coughing, trying not to let the smoke enter my lungs. But it was too late, I could already feel its effects.

A sensation of warmth and safety flooded my mind as the room around me suddenly seemed less foreign and more inviting. I felt calmer, less tense; in fact, I couldn't remember why I'd been so wound up to begin with.

I felt as if I were floating, until a hand squeezed my knee gently.

"Clair, are you alright?" said a voice, as if it were echoing all around me from a far-off place.

I blinked.

My eyelids seemed to weigh much more than I remembered along with my arms and legs. I heard laughter around me so I began laughing too, though I wasn't sure what was so funny.

"She's gone," said another voice, but for some reason I liked this one less than the first.

But as I floundered around in my thoughts, without warning a cracking sound shot through the air.

The common room suddenly became pitch black. There were a few screams that quickly subsided as the room was abruptly lit up by emerald green flames that appeared unexpectedly in the fireplace.

Despite the drug-induced euphoria, I felt a twinge of panic in the back of my mind which began to bring me back to earth.

Taking advantage of the low light, I tried to pull out my wand swiftly but my fingers felt thick and I dropped it instead. I bent over but hit my head hard on the low table in front of me as I groped the floor for my wand.

Without warning I felt my body lift magically into the air, bound by strong invisible cords.

"Well well Ms. Ward," said a voice straight from my nightmares, "It seems we meet again."