Chapter 8

When I wake up the next morning, I unconsciously pat the other side of the mattress to find Elsa and I jump up like a spring, when I don't feel her next to me. I am so tired I can't even open my eyes, but my hands can't find her. The bed is as cold as it could be. She hasn't slept with me.

"Els?". I ask in the dark, in a panic, but she doesn't answer. "Els, where are you?". Nothing. I finally find the strength to sit and open an eye. I look around myself. I'm in a big empty room, on a big bed and I'm completely alone and naked. And here is the question… What happened last night? I can't remember. Then I notice the small post-it on the nightstand next to me. I take it.

Waiting for you downstairs for breakfast, snuppa. It says and at the end of the sentence there's a little skew heart. It's so ugly that it makes me think she's never drawn one before. And this makes me smile. The mighty queen doesn't know how to draw a heart. Hilarious.

And with the post-it there's a map. I open it, expecting for it to be like a paper sheet, with directions drawn on it but when I open it, it's more like a country road map. It opens and it's printed on plastified paper and it's big and it covers nearly all the bed. Damn, wtf?

I turn it and roll it, trying to understand what's the verse of reading. Then I get frustrated. I ball it up, toss it away and get up from the bed. I will find the dining room or I will die trying. I see a pair of denim and a cotton shirt on the dresser. I jump in them and I exit the room still barefoot.

"God morgen, Princesse". Says a maid, seeing me entering the corridor, and I might not understand Norwegian, but this is pretty clear. Am I a princess now? Like in a Disney movie? She smiles and bows and I do the same in an unpleasant to the eye way. She notices I'm not used to bowing and I can see in her eyes that I've been discovered. There's some disappointment there, but she doesn't mention it and neither stops smiling. But I know… I feel it in my heart, I will be the laughing stock of the maids all day. Great performance, Anna. I clear my voice.

"Good morning". I say and I start to go, but I notice I made the second pas faux of the day. I don't speak Norwegian. This time I see in the maid's eyes the judgement and consequently I ask myself: is it supposed that as a princess I should know Norwegian? How many languages does a princess speak? Am I failing at something already? Am I a failure?

She smiles at me and a second after she runs away, leaving me there in total dismay. I look in the direction she disappeared and I gulp down my uneasiness. That I am not fit for this place and position… that's not a surprise. I grew up in a poor neighborhood and all of this wealth, although it's not unpleasant per se, makes me feel like a potato in a basket of cabbages.

I walk around without no direction for ten minutes straight, and then I suddenly hear a familiar voice coming from one of the rooms. I open the door a little and I peek inside. I finally found them.

Elsa is sitting at the head of a long table and Olaf is sitting next to her on one side. She's again not dressed as the Elsa I know. She's the queen now. She's wearing a long green dress, she's got make-up on, she also has her hair tied and has her tiara on her head. I feel uncomfortable being dressed this casual. Even Olaf is in a suit.

The table is completely full of neatly sprawled newspapers, one beside the other. She is looking at them in a serious manner, choosing what to read next. She points at a couple of newspapers and Olaf places them in front of her in a line so she can read them. She looks at every title carefully, smiling and from the way she does it I know she finds them extremely funny. She points at the first.

"The Arendelle's Post says: 'ready for a surprise? The queen announces her marriage'. Solemn as always". She reads then takes another. "The Crowner: 'Queen engaged. It was about time'. Their articles are getting more and more daring, are they?". Then she passes to another. "The Arendaylle: 'Lesbian women revolting'". She reads and apparently this picks her interest. Her eyebrows frown so she keeps on reading in the article. "Today, it was a sour day for lesbian Arendellians to wake up in. Apparently the queen announced her marriage and the groom might not be the one expected. The news ran fast in the kingdom and it sparked some flames among the queen's most faithful fans. The head of Arendellian's queer party affirmed: If the queen is a lesbian she must choose an Arendellian". Elsa grimaces. "Hm… maybe not. This could easily make our position difficult". They both chuckle but I don't understand why. "This is not what I was expecting". She confesses.

"Well there are also negative ones". Olaf defends. "The Commoner's, says: 'Scandalous announcement... The queen is a deviant'. Some also say you're trying to win consensus among the minorities and that could really put you in a bad position with the most conservative side of the country". Elsa shrugs.

"I'm trying to win no one over. But even if I were… what would be wrong with it? Also, some of the bad ones are Republicans… it's their job to discredit us. What is important is that our monarchists took it fairly well. And you know how difficult they are to please and appease. I can keep my head on a little longer apparently". They smile, then Elsa notices me on the door and her smile becomes larger. "Ehi, snuppa. You made it". She says. Olaf turns and looks at me too.

"Am I intruding Els… ahm… your majesty?". I ask, finally opening the door and Elsa smiles in confusion at me, as if she's asking herself why I am being so formal. She shakes her head and reaches a hand for me. I enter the room, close the door behind me and take it. She has really cold hands today but they are still soft. She pulls me at her and makes me sit on her legs. I redden in embarrassment, but neither her nor Olaf seem to be embarrassed by the situation as me.

"Elsa, boundaries". He just reminds her and she obeys with a grimace, opening a chair for me and making me sit. I feel better now that I am on my own. I've got the impression that all the castle is staring at me, waiting for my pas faux and I don't want to please it. I grip my hands, trying to diffuse the tension but Elsa sees it. As quick-witted as she is, she immediately understands something isn't right.

"So…". Elsa starts in a whisper, placing a hand on mine gently and then she forces me to open them to cross our fingers in the most reassuring way she can muster. She smiles at me with her pristine white teeth. She must be a mind reader, there is no other explanation. "How did you sleep?". She asks quietly, keeping her blue eyes pointed at me. She's trying to look calm and smiley but I can see the concern in the back of her eyes.

"Pretty well…". I murmur, looking at my knees and I see her nod and search for my eyes again. Her thumb is gently caressing the back of my hand. She grins but she doesn't seem convinced.

"Pretty well… uh?". She asks, as to search for a confirmation, but as I don't answer her worry becomes a bit more evident. Neither of us want to open a case on the fact that she didn't sleep with me last night. That's not why I feel so blue today, but she seems to be bored by it somehow. "So why do you seem so sad this morning?". She asks and I shake my head. I can't tell her I feel out of place. She would be offended, probably. "Olaf, can you leave us, please?". She asks and I immediately raise my head in confusion.

"There is no need…". I try, but she shushes me, placing her index on my lips. Olaf looks at the both of us, immediately shaking his head.

"I can't. You know the protocol. I can't leave you two alone in the castle until you're married". He answers quietly and Elsa groans. She looks at me apologetically and I nod sadly. Yeah… I did expect this somehow. 'It's ok', I mimic with my lips, smiling sadly. She doesn't seem happy about it. She brushes a tuft of hair behind my ear. I let her. Then she gets closer and presses her lips on my temple. I think this is her way to say sorry for whatever she thinks she's done.

"Today I would like to show you the kingdom and present you to some people. I just want for you to see what you're gonna buy, marrying me. Do you… want to go for it?". She asks quietly, keeping close and looking at me in the eye, worried and I think about it. I don't feel like it, but she seems to be excited about it. She seems to care and so I nod lightly. "Are you sure? We can… postpone it…".

"It's fine. Let's go". I answer. "It's not like I have something better to do. And as long as I'm with you, it's ok". I'm already at fault for being a fraud. Missing my appointments would only make me a coward too.

"This is all very romantic, but…". Olaf starts, fishing out an agenda from his jacket pocket. Then he opens it and checks something on it. "Elsa, today you're free from three to three-thirty. So if you want to see the entire kingdom you must be quick". Elsa pales and looks at him in confusion.

"Are you serious? In half an hour I can't even get out of the castle. You said I was free this afternoon". She opposes but then he shakes his head. She seems horrified by the news. I can see the disappointment on her face. I think she really wanted to take me on a tour.

"That was before the plan changed. Apparently you have a very important meeting with the council this afternoon". Olaf says and Elsa's face passes from rage to panic. She even pales and her fingers unconsciously close on mine.

"They changed it at the last minute?". She asks and her voice is wavering from fear. Olaf nods, confirming. "But Anna can still come with me, right? They must want to meet her...". Olaf shakes his head.

"No. They have another plan. Anna will have a formal interview at that time". Elsa's eyes snap open.

"A public interview...". She asks incredulously. Olaf confirms. "So soon?". She insists and she seems suspicious. "Olaf… what exactly is going on?". They look at each other trying to determine if they're going to fight or not.

"These were the council conditions". She confesses. "They want Anna on screen when they decide if you are getting married or not".

"But this makes no sense…". She starts, but then she looks at him dead in the eye. "Oh my god, wait…". And then the realization hits her. "They are gonna test her publically?". She asks horrified and Olaf grimaces mortified. "It's gonna be a massacre. How could you?".

"They wanted to see if she's ready before you can instruct her. They clearly instructed me to not teach her anything, so… They didn't buy the story that she's a noblewoman at all". I pale too this time. Fuck. I look at Elsa in panic and I notice she's having her fair amount of anxiety too. But I have to admit she seems more crossed than scared this time. She taps with her index on her lips for a while, thinking. It's a strange reaction for her. Or at least for the woman I thought she was. She is more of the queen now that Elsa herself.

"I don't know what to do". She says quietly and calmly at the end, covering her eyes. She starts tapping on the table with the other's hand fingers. It's so natural of an action I think she's been doing this for years. The sound is clear and unnerving on the wood: tap tap tap. So I decide to cut it all off, placing my own hand on hers. She immediately turns to look at me as if I shoot her in between her eyes. She looks so surprised from a simple gesture like this.

"What…?". I ask in confusion. "Was I not meant to do that?". I ask and Elsa opens her mouth to comfort me, but Olaf is faster.

"You never interrupt the queen's thinking Anna. This could lead to her forgetting what she was doing and the finding of a solution would take longer". He explains gently, but in his voice there is a bit of an admonishment. Oh… I look at my hand and bite my lips. Already failing all right, Anna. I try to take my hand back but as I look at Elsa, she's smiling. She's looking comforting where words couldn't.

"Don't listen to him…". She says, gently. "You do that all you want. I don't mind being treated as a human being sometimes, you know. And this…": She breathes quietly, placing her other hand on mine. "...is very helping. thanks". At that point I don't know if she is being serious or just polite, but I like it. It is as if we are comforting each other, not even knowing why. And if me, touching her hand, can help her that much, why can't her smile do that too? So I smile back and her own grows bigger. "We are gonna make it". She concludes and I immediately know she's not talking about the interview or the council. She's talking about us. "We are gonna make it". She insists and I nod, pressing my lips tight.

I have to have faith in her. Look where I am… I am in a castle. Some nights back I was sleeping in a subway. I have to have faith in her, not just because she's asking for it. But because she deserves it. She has demonstrated plentily that she is fully capable of not hurting me. And that is a skill that very few people possess naturally. And those are either saints or dead.

"Yeah… Yeah… we are gonna make it".

Even if Olaf's announcement was scary and unpredicted… well, we rolled accordingly. We had no other choice, even if I would have preferred to be visiting the kingdom by now and not being in a limo to an appointment I don't really want to attend to. A battle I know, I've already lost. I bite hard at my lips and look at the fingers that cover my face. Be strong Elsa… this is gonna end soon. As a band aid pulled off quickly. And then… And then… Anna is gonna hate me for lying to her. Lying about getting married. Even if it's not really my fault. Even if it was not really my intention to lie to her. I'm the queen and I am at fault for everything that happens in my kingdom, my house.

The poor Anna still believes in me. I have to fight.

I cross my legs and try to stop thinking, to enjoy the silence. A little quiet… for once. But it isn't. It isn't quiet. The rolling of the tires on the asphalt, the constant buzzing of the radio Olaf is listening to, they confound me, they keep me from concentrating. I groan, unable to think. And I desperately need to think, to solve this horrible puzzle. How did I put myself in this situation? How did I ever dare to fall in love? I scoff at the absurdity of it all.

"Elsa". Olaf's voice wakes me up from my lucubrations. I pull up my head and look at him above the driver's seat. He seems worried. He looks at me from the back mirror with his calculating eyes. "You've been awfully quiet for a while… and I don't like that". He says and I sigh.

"How did I manage to get her?". I ask. It's nearly a whisper but he hears it. I see him make a face. The face that means he doesn't have a clue. He raises his shoulders. "I feel like an animal Olaf". I breathe. "A wild animal, closed in a cage. They keep on pushing and pushing me in a corner… have you ever felt like that?".

"Yeah… In my own way". He answers gently. "But you know that. You helped me to escape". He says and I nod. I know. Yes.

"You ran away". I say, trying to convince myself. "But I can't escape". A long moment of silence falls and neither of us dare to speak a word, but then reality forces itself out.

"No… you can't". He says deadly.

"And Anna… she can't save me, right? As desperately as I desire it…". Silence again.

"No".

"So… what do I do?". I ask calmly and Olaf as the good friend he is, thinks about it seriously. He taps his fingers on the steering wheel.

"Do you still feel like fighting for it?". He asks and after a second I finally nod. He smiles. "Good then. It means they haven't killed you yet". He says. "Then you fight tonight, because you can't save yourself and neither can Anna, but she could make your prison so less unbearable, Els. What choice do you have left? This is better than cry yourself over like you did or drink yourself unconscious".

"Life sucks". I say and he smiles.

"To think that little girls would kill to be in your position". He chuckles wearily. "They probably don't know what to be a queen asks you for".

"No, they don't. And it's better that way. Being a puppet is not a nice experience to be having". I say and at that time I realize what all of this conversation was useful for. "Do I really want to put Anna in my same position? She's so… happy".

"I mean… she's asking for it".

"Well… she doesn't know what she's asking for". I must protect her from this. This is the only thing I can think of. This is the only thing I can do for her. And am I really so confident I can make her life better, just by closing her in a cage with me?

The car stops and me and Olaf look at each other. We are here at the parliament. This pantomime has finally started. I'm scared. My breath comes in cold rags. My knees are trembling. I don't feel like going in. I don't want to see the council. What if they say no? But more importantly… what will I do if they say yes?

"Anna is having a formal interview, right?". I ask and Olaf nods. "She's having it right now, right?".

"Yeah… it's starting". He says gently. "So it means we are late, darling". He says gently. "They are waiting for us".

"It means she's being streamed on the public channel all over the kingdom. So she can be heard on the radio…". I say and I know he knows what I'm after.

"No, Elsa. We can't. If we are late, they may think we are tricking them and they will be angry to no beyond. That may ruin all our plans''. He says and even if I'm disappointed I know he is right. "Please get off the car and let's finish this, ok?". And so I have to comply, for Anna's happiness over mine.

And that's how I find myself seated at the head of the long council's table. All the old men sitting around it look at me. They don't speak a word. They don't need to. They just turn on the small screen placed strategically on the other side of the room and watch. The screen turns to colour and then image and then Anna is there. Sitting on a harmchair bigger than her. And she seems so small and afraid… and I placed her there. I put her there, for what?

I see her shifting, squirming in it like a little scared mouse, waiting for the lady interviewer to swallow her up. And now she looks like the first time I saw her in that bar, without the crying of course, but the pain… the pain is there. And I could lie to myself, telling that she's gonna be fine with me once this is over. That her life is gonna be great. But why do I keep feeling like I am setting up a trap for her?

The show starts and I feel like I am watching it from inside a bubble.

"So… you're Anna". Says the interviewer. Anna pulls at her hands and nods in her childish way. "You know every person in this kingdom was dying to meet you?". Anna points at her heart with a finger.

"Do they? Why?". She asks innocently and I smile at that. This is just like Anna.

"Because you are marrying our queen, silly". The interviewer chuckles. "So… care to tell us how that happened? How did you two meet?". What does she like in you? Is the unspoken question. And Anna gets it. And here starts the painful part. Anna swallows and bits her lips.

"We met… at a party". I grimace. It is so clear she is lying that everyone notices, even the interviewer. Her smile grows broadly and all the old men around the table turn to look at me, displeased.

"A party… how wonderful". The interviewer keeps on talking. "So… you two did dance?". And I see the nervousness in Anna's eyes, she's recollecting my clumsy attempt to win her over, of that night. A memory neither I want to linger much on. Then she opens her mouth and sighs.

"She tried to convince me, but… I have two left feet, so I was not of much entertainment for her". She says and the interviewer starts chuckling.

"Yeah… she's the best dancer in the kingdom". The interviewer says, as if to remind the audience. "She's taken lessons since she was two. Her father was very proud of her. But you must surely know…". Anna's eyes become as big as plates and she looks utterly taken aback and I feel utterly shit now. All this talking about marriage and it doesn't even cross my mind to talk to her about… well… me. She's willingly marrying a stranger.

"No, I… didn't know that". Anna says, genuinely and her lips become a thin line.

"Well, yeah… she's a genius at everything she does really. Before becoming a queen she was called 'the small prodigy'. She was a chess winner, a nice cook, an excellent instrument player and a linguist and if I recall well she built an entire house on her own when she was fifteen".

"Is that so?". Anna asks, thinking and nodding as if she can't believe it. "That's why she pulled the 'entitlement' card, back then". She murmurs thinking and I feel like she has discovered me doing something bad all along. Anna nods and then chuckles between herself for a joke no one made. "That stinker…". As she says that word the entire universe becomes silent as if it has fallen under a malediction.

"You call her majesties, master and owner of all of us, the queen… that stinker?". Asks the interviewer offended and horrified. Anna smiles and so do I, even if behind my hand.

"Yes… you see… she was actually waiting for me to ask that night… you know. So she would be able to tell me how great she is. She thought that would make me interested". Anna chuckles at the interviewer's confusion. "Well played Els, well played. You must be smarter than me, but I got you there". At her calling my name everything freezes up again.

"I don't know what you're talking about…". Anna smiles directly at the camera and then sits more comfortably, crossing her hands with a wicked smile on her face.

"Oh, don't worry I know… and if she's listening, she knows too". The interviewer nods in confusion and hurries to the next question.

"Well… how interesting". The interviewer says, crossing her legs. "Do you call her majesty names often?".

"No… she's the one who usually calls me names". Anna answers and the interviewer looks at her as if she can't believe her.

"I can't imagine the queen being a nick caller". Confesses the woman and Anna makes a perplexed face. "What does she call you?".

"Oh… names. I don't know if I can't repeat them, since I don't know what they mean. She doesn't want to translate and I don't have the courage to search for them". The interviewer seems surprised. She leans for Anna to whisper in her ear.

"Tell me". The woman insists and Anna obeys, telling her quietly and when Anna speaks she smiles incredulous. "She calls you snuppa". The interviewer says and the audience goes 'awww' and my head goes full 'earth swallow me'.

"Is it good?". Anna asks in confusion and the interviewer finally seems to crack for Anna. Her smile is the most genuine of the night.

"She's been calling you sweetie and you didn't know?". When the realisation hits Anna she becomes as red as a tomato and she gasps as if she had gone mute.

"If I knew I would have never said it on the camera". She confessed and then chuckled nervously.

"There's nothing bad about it. It just means she's confident with you… and it's also interesting. She seems so stoic". And it's Anna's turn to scoff.

"Oh, no… Elsa's the exact opposite of stoic. She's so sweet…". I cover my eyes in embarrassment as some of the old men start murmuring in disappointment. "She's a cinnamon roll".

"Is she?".

"I know why you're so surprised. I've seen her doing 'the queen' face". Anna says. "And I was scared too that she was like that". Anna confessed and I felt a grip take my insides. A boulder on my chest. "But then… she proved to me that she is different. She is different from the queen. She has to act like that".

"Does she?".

"Yes… yes. She is… she is insecure. Don't hate her. She's human too". And at that a single year falls on my cheek, but then my hand automatically makes it disappear. She sees me. The only person that knows me less… knows me the most. "She's my baby. My baby with big blue eyes".

"She has blue eyes?". Asks the interviewer and Anna seems surprised at the question.

"Yeah… haven't you seen?".

"No. No one is allowed to look at her in the…". And then the screen turns off. I clear my throat and pull myself together, sitting composed on the chair. The old men pull out their phone from their pockets. They tap, slowly as only elders can do, but at the end the whole council turns to look at me.

"We have voted". The council head announces. I gulp down. "And we have decided…".

I'm sitting on the bed sleepless. It has been hours. She should be here with the answer at this point. I torment my hands. I said so many stupid things at the interview… She's probably angry at me and she doesn't want to see me. I can get that. I swallow. I'm dying from anxiety. I need to talk to her. I stretch on the bed and look at the canopy. I look at my hands. I tap my fingers on the mattress and turn to look at the clock on the bedside table. It marks half past eleven in the evening. Enough, I have to go find her.

I stand up, barefoot and leave my room. The corridor is dark, and it gives me the creeps. In Norway at seven in winter it's like midnight in every other country. You can't see a damn thing. I don't want to be outside here alone, but I have no choice. It helps that I already know where to go. Olaf showed me where the queen's room is, before leaving. So I muster my courage and I enter the dark corridor. I close my door behind me and start tiptoeing in the dark.

I hate dark and I hate this dark more. I don't know where I'm going and I'm fairly sure someone has been killed at some point in these corridors.

And suddenly something touches me in the dark and I panic. I try to run but something grabs me and covers my mouth as if they know I am going to scream. So I start wailing, but when I feel a gentle kiss on my shoulder and her smell… I calm down.

"That's it snuppa. It's me…". She breathes, letting me go. "No need to be scared. It's me. I'm back". And as my hand is free I hit her. I do, because my heart is beating so fast and because she nearly scared me to death.

"You… you…". I start, not even knowing how to finish the sentence. "You idiot! You nearly killed me. Where have you been?". I ask, half mad and half worried. Her breath is trembling and after a second that she doesn't answer I really start to worry, because I can't see her in all that dark. "Babe, are you ok?".

"No…". Comes the quiet whining and now I know she's been crying. I feel like dying.

"Did I hit you too hard?". I ask, immediately touching her to be sure she's ok, but she says no, in her tiny little voice. "So what? What did they do to you? I'm gonna kill them".

"Could we please not? In the corridor?". She asks and then I understand. She's trying not to get caught by the judgy maids.

"Let's go to my room. It's the nearest". I say and before she can even think of opposing, I take her hand and I pull her down the corridor with me. I enter the room and I don't even bother to turn up the light. If she's that upset, it's probably obvious she doesn't want to be seen. I close the door and as I do I see her shadow climbing the bed and disappear under the covers. "So… will you tell me what happened?". I ask, climbing next to her and covering myself up to my head to be at her same level. She gulps down. "Did they say no?".

"They agreed for us to get a temporary engagement… to see how it goes". She says in a sad voice. And after a moment of realization my mind finally grasps it. I caress her cheek gently.

"You should be happy about it… it means we succeeded". She gulps down again and shakes her head. "Aren't you happy we got it so easily?".

"No…". She says and I feel my heart sink in my chest. What is she saying now?

"You don't want to marry me? Have you changed your mind?". I ask, trying to understand and she shakes her head again.

"I do. I do want to marry you". She says and here the mystery deepens.

"Then what is it? Please spill it. I'm dying over here".

"But are you sure you do?". She asks and then proceeds. "You don't really want to marry me, Anna". She says and I deadpan. Don't I? I reckon I said yes at some point there… "I'm awful and this… this is gonna ruin you. I don't want to close you in a cage". She whispers. Oh… She's being insecure again.

"Where do you get this kind of thoughts from? Hm?". I ask gently, caressing her cheek with my thumbs. "Tell me you haven't been crying for this all evening. This would be awful and stupid". She doesn't answer so I stretch my arms out and hug her. I hold her tight, pressing her head in the nip of my throat. "I'm not in a cage, Els. I love to be here with you".

"But you're gonna be. And I want you to be free. Free from this awful life". She insists. "Run now. Run now while you can. If you need money, I'll give them to you. I'll cover you in them. Just don't turn back". I scoff.

"Oh, baby. I don't want your money. I thought I had made myself clear about that". I say.

"This is different Anna". She answers and she seems dead serious now. "I'm not trying to buy you. I'm not testing you. I'm trying to give you a way out". She says and I click my tongue.

"I don't need a way out. My way out would make me end up alone. And when you're alone it doesn't matter if you sleep in a subway or in a beautiful house, Els. So please, spare me your guilty thoughts. I'm here because I want to be. Maybe I didn't know what I was buying at the beginning, but now…". I feel her gulp quietly.

"I can't even decide to marry you, alone. I need people to approve. Do you really want to give your life away like that?". She asks and I chuckle.

"Yeah… I do. And if you have nothing else to confess to me, like… if you didn't change your mind, just stop talking. Because I'm starting to think you just want to get rid of me and you don't know how". I say and as I commanded she falls silent.

"Anna… I'm serious here". She says, rising her head and looking at me directly in the eyes. "Are you sure you want to marry me? Aren't we running too fast, are we?".

"You asked me to marry you". I say chuckling and her lips become a thin line, then she nods.

"Yes… that was before I realised what it would imply for you". She explains and I scoff. "So I am asking you. Did you think about this? Are you damn sure you want to go over all of this?".

"Yes… and yes".

"I don't want no crying after. There can be no regret Anna". She says and I roll my eyes, exasperated.

"There won't". I answer. "You were already pretty clear about it. I got it, ok? Relax… I know what I'm accepting". She doesn't seem convinced about it, but she doesn't dare saying a word more, in fear I'll get offended. "Good. Now tell me when we're getting married…".

"If we convince the council we are a winning horse?". She asks. "A month and a half". I smile. Oh my God, I would have never imagined I would be so excited about it. "That's the time they need to be ready for it".

"Who cares?". I ask. "Less work for us. They will arrange the marriage while we have fun". I say and she looks at me in confusion. "Now smile at me, Els. We are getting married!". I grip her face and scrunch it. I'm so elated!

"Anna… you're hurting me". She tries while her face is contorted under my hands.

"That's what you deserve for not telling me what snuppa means". I say, freeing her and she smiles evilly. Her eyes are still worried, but at least she's trying to not succumb to her fears.

"Ah, you're right… now I have to find another word…".

"Don't you dare!". I tell and then immediately cover my mouth. "Are you supposed to be here? By the way?". I ask and she shakes her head.

"No… so you don't get us discovered, could you?". She says, placing her index on her nose. I nod and I lie back down. "I will buy you a cell phone so we can chat at night. So I can see you. But you must keep it secret". I laugh.

"That's ridiculous! Wouldn't it be strange to chat from a floor to another? That would be depressing". I ask and she shrugs. Then she hugs me back and stops moving.

"That's what we get, Anna. We have no other choice til we are married". She says and I nod, caressing her hair gently.

"So… what day? What day are we getting married?".

"Again… It's a maybe". She tries but I don't want to listen, so she sighs. "Probably my birthday". She says, surprising me. "They usually choose that date for big events".₩

"Am I gonna be your present then?". I ask and she smiles.

"Of some sort…". She chuckles.

"And when is that?".

"I would prefer for it to be a surprise". She says, caressing my cheek. I pout but she doesn't want to hear any reason. She stares at me in the dark for minutes. "I hope you never stop loving me like you do right now". She breathes and I feel my heart sink.

"Who said I love you?". I ask, but she chuckles.

"Hm… right". She whispers and then I feel her lips brushing mine. "Maybe you need some more convincing".