Emily walked out of the office room hearing her phone ringing. She expected it to be Carrie, so she quickly picked it up.
"Hello," Emily answered.
"Emily," the voice said.
"Mother?" Emily replied hearing her mom's voice on the other line.
"Yes, it is your mother," Elizabeth Prentiss. "And I assume you know I've been back in the states for two weeks."
"I did hear it through the chain," Emily responded coolly.
"I expected you would have called," Elizabeth replied.
"Being your only child," Emily started, "I would expect you to call me, check in, be a mother."
"That could go each way Emily," Elizabeth response.
"Can we stop being so cold?" Emily asked rolling her eyes, her voiced getting filled with more annoyance."
"Yes," Elizabeth replied, "I assumed you were busy all in all with having a child now."
Emily froze knowing her mom would've found out sooner or later, "Yes, Carrie."
"I'm not sure if I ever expected you with children," Elizabeth replied, "But Erin said you seem to be very sweet with her. Did you plan on telling me about her?"
"Yes," Emily replied, "Eventually. She's adjusting and it's been a long past month."
"I would expect," Elizabeth replied, "I read what I could about that case online. Seemed like a bad one."
"Yes, it was," Emily replied.
"When do I get to meet her?" Elizabeth asked. "If you have a child, I would like to meet her."
"Soon," Emily asked. "Nothing is official yet."
"I would still like to meet her Emily," Elizabeth replied sternly. "Welcome her to the family."
"Since when do you care about the family?" Emily asked.
"All decisions I made whether you believe it or not," Elizabeth started, "Were for the benefit of our family. They may have not been what you always waned, but I tried to do what was best."
"Fine," Emily replied, "I can ask Carrie."
"Great," Elizabeth replied, "Can we plan for lunch at my place this Sunday?"
"If Carrie says yes, then that should work," Emily replied.
"Great," Elizabeth replied. "See you then."
"Bye," Emily replied hanging up.
"Who was that?" JJ said coming up behind Emily. "You had your done face on."
"My mother," Emily replied.
"Let me guess," JJ smirked, "You didn't tell her about Carrie, and she found out?"
"Correct," Emily replied, "And she wants to meet her."
"Is that going to go well?" JJ asked.
"She knows enough about my mother to not fall for traps," Emily replied, "If that's what you're asking. Carrie the other week said she wouldn't mind meeting her."
"Okay," JJ said. "If you need a cop out, I can get you out."
"Good to know," Emily smirked, "Okay, I have to pick up Carrie from school and break the news to her."
"Good luck," JJ smiled as Emily picked up her bag and headed out.
Emily pulled up outside Holton Arms and waited as Carrie ran up and got in the car.
"I'm so excited to get home and out of the uniform," Carrie sighed.
"Well, hello," Emily greeted Carrie.
"Hi," Carrie replied pausing to great Emily seeing the look on Emily's face. "What?"
"How do you feel about meeting my mother this weekend?" Emily asked Carrie as she pulled out of the pickup line.
"What?" Carrie said with a smirk. "Fine, I guess."
"Okay good," Emily replied. "Because she decided we are having lunch with her on Sunday."
"Oh?" Carrie replied.
"She called," Emily replied. "She had heard about you through the line and decided she wanted to meet you."
"This should be fun," Carrie replied.
"What do you mean?" Emily replied.
"Seeing you acting around your mother," Carrie replied. "Garcia told me you get all closed off and defensive and its funny."
"Okay," Emily replied, "Well I'm glad you are taking meeting my mother as a comedy show."
"Yep," Carrie giggled, smiling at Emily.
"I guess that's the healthiest way to approach anything with her," Emily shrugged, getting a laugh from Carrie.
Emily and Carrie sat on the couch Saturday morning, each enjoying a cup of coffee when Emily's phone rang.
"Hello?" Emily answered, "Yes, this is Emily…eleven?...Yeah that can work…Okay thank you."
"What was that?" Carrie asked looking up at Emily from her phone. "Do you have a case?"
"Um no," Emily responded, "That was CPS. They said they are coming for a visit in an hour."
"What?" Carrie exclaimed. "That's an hour."
"Surprise visit," Emily said, "That's how they usually do them.
"But," Carrie said, her expression flushing to fear.
"Hey," Emily said stepping in and cupping the teens face, "Nothings going to happen. They just do these to check in and see how things are going and see the space. It's routine."
"But still," Carrie said. "What if they take me away."
"Honey," Emily replied looking at over the teen, "They won't do that. I promise. I would fight them and do anything to stop that. You have nothing to worry about."
"I know that deep down," Carrie sighed, "It just scares me. And like what if they ask about my nightmares? They might think I'm crazy."
"Carrie," Emily said, "I have worked closely with them. What happened, you are having a normal response to. And believe it or not, you are doing so well for everything that's happened. I know it doesn't feel like it, but trust me, you are. They will also understand that and see it."
"Okay," Carrie nodded. "I just don't like surprises."
"Me neither," Emily replied. "The best thing is just to be yourself and answer the questions honestly."
"Okay," Carrie sighed, leaning her head onto Emily's shoulder.
"It will be fine," Emily reassured the teen, rubbing her back to provide any sense of comfort.
Emily pulled back, smiling at Carrie, hoping to reassure her. Carrie smiled back nervously with a sigh. Emily opened her book again while Carrie curled up again on her phone.
The hour passed as Emily checked the time; something Carrie had been doing every minute. A knock sounded on the door. Emily got up, stopping to offer Carrie a helping hand before turning and opening the door.
"Hello," Emily greeted.
"Hi," a woman said, "I'm Stacy Marsh and this is my college Amy Wells from CPS."
"Nice to meet you," Emily smiled, "I'm Emily Prentiss and this is Carrie."
"Hi," Carrie said, "Nice to meet you."
"Why don't you guys come in," Emily said.
"We will just want to walk around the space," Amy said, "and then talk to you each separately."
"Okay," Emily responded familiar with the process.
"If you don't mind," Stacy said, "We usually prefer to look around ourselves."
"Go ahead," Emily said watching Carrie move closer to her, "We'll be waiting over there in the living room."
The two women from CPS began walking around taking about ten minutes before they returned to where Emily and Carrie had been waiting.
"This place is very clean," Stacy remarked.
"Carrie and I are both neat freaks," Emily replied, "Carrie even more so than me."
"Yeah," Carrie agreed.
"If you don't mind," Amy started, "I would like to speak to each of you. I can talk with you Emily, and Stacy talks to Carrie."
"Yeah," Emily replied, "Carrie, are you fine with that?"
"Yeah," Carrie nodded.
"Can we talk in your bedroom?" Stacy asked.
"Yeah," Carrie said getting up and leading Stacy down the hall.
"This is a very nice room," Stacy remarked, "I love the colors."
"Yeah," Carrie nodded, "Emily's coworker and friend helped us paint it."
"Well, it looks nice," Stacy remarked. "So, the purpose of this is just to see how you are doing, how you are adjusting, if this is a safe place for you, and then if there are any questions or things you would like to ask or tell."
"Okay," Carrie replied sitting down on her bed.
"Do you mind if I sit in your desk chair?" Stacy asked.
"Go ahead," Carrie nodded.
"So, it's been about a month and a half since you got here," Stacy asked. "How has it been."
"Good," Carrie nodded, "As good as it could be, I guess. Everything that happened has been a lot, but Emily makes things better and does whatever she can do to help."
"Would you then say everything is going well with Emily?" Stacy asked.
"Yes," Carrie nodded, "She's the only person who has ever actually made me feel safe and understood. I know whatever I need, I can always ask her. I'm still learning to, but I know I can."
"Good," Stacy replied, "I also know she works long hours and has to be away at times. What do you do in situations like that?"
"Emily always checks with me if I'm okay with her going," Carrie replied. "One of the other agents stays back sometimes, JJ. She was one of the ones that I met when everything happened. Her house is always open. I also can stay with Garcia or Haley."
"And who are they?" Stacy asked.
"Garcia is the tech analysis for the team," Carrie replied, "And Haley is the unit chief's wife."
"And you are okay with staying with any of them?" Stacy asked, "Is it ever distracting or harmful."
"I trust all of them," Carrie said. "I don't ever mind. I know Emily has a job, and I understand the importance. Her team, she considers them family. I know any of them would do anything for me as well. My friend also said I can always stay with her."
"So, you are back in school?" Stacy asked. "Which school."
"Yeah, Holton Arms," Carrie nodded, "I quickly started. The other week everything hit me though, so Emily made me take the week off."
"That's a very intense program," Stacy replied, "How is it?"
"I enjoy it," Carrie replied, "I never was challenged with school in the past and it's a good distraction. I have all A's still. The subjects are all interesting and I like most of the people there."
"That's very impressive," Stacy replied. "And when you said 'hit' you, what do you mean."
"Everything from Colorado," Carrie replied, "I had just been in go mode."
"Did your mental health go down?" Stacy asked.
"Yes," Carrie replied, "There was an incident, but Emily stepped in right away. I'm in therapy and Emily talked to all my teachers at school, so I have accommodations if I need them."
"Good," Stacy replied, "And is Emily being supportive with all the mental health?"
"Yes," Carrie replied, "She knows a lot about it and her and JJ were the ones to convince me to go to therapy. She also joins in sometimes so we can talk as a group."
"That's also good to here," Stacy replied. "Well, this seems to be working for you."
"Yes," Carrie nodded.
"Then I don't have any more questions at the moment," Stacy replied.
Carrie got up and smiled following Stacy back down the hall to where Emily and Amy had been waiting.
"Well, if you are done," Stacy started, "We are good here."
"Great," Emily sighed.
"Let me just give you my card," Stacy said reaching into her pocket and pulling one out. "Everything seems good on my end, but you will get an official report within a day or so."
"Okay," Emily nodded, "Sounds good."
"Then we will be on our way," Amy said smiling at the two. "Thank you for your time."
"No worries," Emily said.
The two headed out and Emily turned to Carrie who let out a long sigh of relief.
"Yeah, I'm glad they are gone too," Emily chuckled.
"What?" Carrie replied sensing Emily had been annoyed.
"That one lady spent five minutes drilling me on my work," Emily huffed, "I just don't get it. Like you are a way bigger priority than work. And then she brought my mother into this. I am the opposite of her."
"I know that," Carrie replied. "I told them you always check with me and then I have people to stay with who I also trust. I'm also at school most of the day."
"Well, that's over at least," Emily sighed, "Time to get back to our binge-watching bad Netflix's shows and reading day."
"I got to actually do homework while watching," Carrie growled.
"Ugh," Emily agreed, "I also have paperwork."
"At least you get paid to do yours," Carrie smirked, "We have to pay for me to do mine."
"What a messed-up system," Emily replied.
The two laughed and returned to the couch.
Sunday morning came and Carrie sat on the edge of Emily's bathtub watching Emily frantically getting ready.
"Do I curl my hair or leave it straight?" Emily asked.
"I don't know," Carrie shrugged. "I think it looks good straight."
"My mom will somehow think it's not," Emily remarked, "But if I curl it, she will also say something about it not being natural."
"I think you look pretty either way," Carrie replied.
Emily let out a little smirk, "I have to just plan everything carefully, so I won't get into an argument with my mother over my looks. She just always has to comment on things."
"Well do I look okay?" Carrie asked anxiously looking down at her own outfit.
Emily turned and calmed her body language, "Yes, you look beautiful."
"But will she comment on me?" Carrie asked, "Now I feel anxious."
"You don't need to worry about anything," Emily smiled, "It's just between my mom and I. She's always had this view on my image directly affecting hers. She has a hard time separating us. It's probably mostly in my head now and I'm overthinking this."
"You might be," Carrie smirked. "I've never seen you this obsessed with trying to put on makeup or figuring out an outfit."
"Maybe I just hide it," Emily shrugged.
"You do realize you have like the perfect features that every woman wants," Carrie said back at Emily. "You are tall, thin, dark hair and eyes. The amount of people I know that want to look at you."
"I don't know about that," Emily frowned. "Or at least not my mom."
"Maybe she is just jealous," Carrie frowned.
"Okay mini profiler," Emily replied. "So just keep my hair straight and natural makeup is what you are saying?"
"Yeah," Carrie replied.
"Okay," Emily said with a sigh. "Ready?"
"I guess," Carrie shrugged.
The two headed downstairs and into the car. Emily bit her lip as she drove as Carrie sat calmly giving up on being anxious since there was no way in knowing how this day would go. The drive wasn't long, but Carrie made out the apartments growing to neighborhood houses with large facades and yards. She knew many of the people at her school lived in including Bianca. Emily eventually slowed the car and pulled into a driveway leading up towards a large English style house.
"Wow this house is huge," Carrie remarked.
"Did you expect anything less from what I've said about my mother?" Emily asked putting the car into park.
"I guess not," Carrie replied following Emily out of the car and up the walkway.
"Here goes nothing," Emily said with a sigh.
"Yeah," Carrie said taking a step behind Emily.
Emily rang the doorbell that you could hear chime through the house. It took a minute before the door rustled and opened. There stood a woman who shared the same features as Emily except for having lighter brown hair and slightly shorter.
"Emily," Elizabeth said with a small smile, "Glad you showed up."
"Hi mother," Emily replied nudging Carrie out from behind her, "This is Carrie."
"Hello," Elizabeth said with a larger smile, "Nice to meet you."
"Same to you as well," Carrie said looking up to Emily for approval.
"Come on in," Elizabeth said. "I have a variety of dishes out."
"I see you still have someone cooking for you," Emily said as they followed Elizabeth through the foyer.
"Emily I am a busy woman," Elizabeth replied quickly. "And last time I checked you lived off of ramen and takeout."
"That was college," Emily replied giving Carrie a look of not to say anything "I may not be great, but I can follow a recipe."
"Well then," Elizabeth replied, "It's only food. So, everyone gets a plate and join me in the dining room."
Carrie and Emily followed and eventually took a seat at the dining room table.
"So, I hear work is going well for you, Emily," Elizabeth informed, "Erin said she is glad to have you on the team. Even thou at times you tend to not follow protocol."
Carrie bowed her head and peaked a look at Emily, knowing some of that statement was aimed at Emily taking in Carrie.
"I do what is right," Emily stated, "Much to what I think you would do, if you didn't always look for power."
"That's enough Emily," Elizabeth replied. "I am glad you have a job where you are appreciated for what you do."
Carrie looked down and over to Emily seeing her jaw tense with the words of her mother. Carrie chuckled silently knowing Elizabeth was trying them with games, but Emily was getting caught in them.
"Well anyways," Elizabeth started, "How are you enjoying DC, Carrie?"
"I like it very much," Carrie smiled. "It was one of the places I had always wanted to see, but I never left Denver before this."
"That's good," Elizabeth replied. "There is a lot to do here and see. I will say that. I've been here for years and still haven't seen everything."
"You'd be amazed by everything," Emily started, "When you place down work and spend time for fun."
"We have been able to go to many of the museums," Carrie quickly jumped in to stall the impending argument between Emily and Elizabeth.
"Have you now," Elizabeth started, "Any favorites?"
"American History Museum," Carrie started, "I enjoyed that one. We just went to the Newseum, which might also be one of my favorites."
"I see you have a liking for history and the world," Elizabeth suggested.
"Yes," Carrie replied. "I enjoy learning about it and seeing how humans have impacted where we are now. It all interests me."
Elizabeth chuckled, "You sound like Emily when she was your age. Always looking into the human behavior. Isn't that right Emily?"
"I guess that's true," Emily said with a smile looking at Carrie. "Psychology was always what interested me in my life, obviously."
"Yes, it did," Elizabeth laughed, "I remember when you said that is what you wanted to pursue. You didn't want to follow in the family line. I see Carrie also might follow in your footsteps."
"Carrie is one of the top students according to her psychology teacher," Emily smiled taking bragging rights for Carrie. "Along with many other subjects."
Carrie smiled at Emily trying to help Elizabeth grow fond of her.
"And where are you going to school?" Elizabeth asked.
"Holton Arms," Carrie replied.
"That's a very good school," Elizabeth replied, "I have many colleges who went their or send their children there."
"Yes," Carrie replied, "One of my friends, Bianca, says her parents know you."
"Oh yes," Elizabeth replied, "I forgot she would be your age now. I haven't seen her in years, but I have seen her parents recently. Her poor mother, I hear she has been doing much better in the past week or so."
"Yes, she has according to Bianca," Carrie replied.
"Well, they are a very nice family to be acquainted with," Elizabeth replied. "I'm glad to here. What subjects are you are studying?"
"Latin," Carrie began, "Science II, Advanced world history, French, psychology, and AP English."
"That's a good course load," Elizabeth replied. "Interesting choices of language."
"I already speak Spanish," Carrie replied.
"Oh yes," Elizabeth replied, "I forgot that from what I read about you."
Carrie grew pail realizing what Elizabeth would know about them. Emily also felt anger grow in her. She knew that's what her mother would 'be done, but also didn't like the line being crossed or shown to Carrie.
"Well, I hope we can start speaking more French around the house," Emily jumped in hoping to engage Carrie to hide in conversation, "Since that would help advance your skill."
"Yes," Carrie nodded looking up at Emily who had worry in her eyes with words key of 'you're okay'.
"I believe the only good thing about moving around so much as a child was learning to speak so many languages," Emily stabbed at her mom, "That's the only thing I favored about that childhood."
"Well, I tried to mother you," Elizabeth replied.
"You didn't do a marvelous job," Emily smirked.
"Well, I suppose not enough to make you not want to have children," Elizabeth replied, "Even though after a few Christmases ago I didn't think you would want or be able to have children, when you brought..."
"Mother," Emily said shooting Elizabeth a dark look that Elizabeth understood.
"Well, it seems you are doing a good job," Elizabeth continued. "Carrie you seem to be happy."
"Yes," Carrie nodded, "I guess trying to make the best of the situation, but I think Emily is amazing and very caring and understanding."
Emily smiled, "Well we should get going soon."
"Already?" Elizabeth asked in reply.
"We have some things we need to get done today," Emily nodded, looking to Carrie.
"It was nice seeing you Emily," Elizabeth smiled before turning to Carrie, "And it was very nice meeting you Carrie. You are a lovely girl and Emily seems very happy to have you here."
Carrie smiled, "Yes. Nice to meet you too."
Emily got up giving her mother a quick and tense hung before ushering Carrie back towards the front door and out to the car. Carrie climbed into the passenger side and looked to Emily who had grown quiet.
"Well, that was something," Carrie said once Emily had pulled out onto the main road. "She is a piece of work."
Emily just started laughing, "She really is. I'm sorry if she said anything that got to you. She doesn't have the best filter."
"You don't either when you are around her," Carrie smiled looking at Emily.
Emily frowned and arched her eyebrows, "What do you mean?"
"You could not hold your anger back at her," Carrie began, "I've seen you with others and I know from your job you can hide your true feelings, but around her…you can't do that. You shot back whenever she said anything."
"She really does get the best of me," Emily chuckled, "I don't know what it is about her, but I can't just sit back when it comes to her. I have met people who have done horrible things and been able to just dig and laugh at them, but with her. I just get so frustrated."
"I mean I was like that with my mom," Carrie began, "I know not everyone is like that, but I guess we both didn't have the best relationships with ours."
"Yeah," Emily replied seeing the sadness wash over Carrie's face. "I still love her deep down, as I know you love your mom. Families are complicated."
"Yeah, I guess," Carrie nodded growing silent thinking about what Elizabeth had said.
"Well, my mom likes you," Emily smiled. "I mean there isn't anything to dislike, but she definitely likes you. Telling her you're friends with Bianca"
"I didn't realize that you saw your younger self in me," Carrie replied.
"I saw it almost right away after talking to you, if we are being honest," Emily replied. "You have this edge, resilience, and this hole that I oddly saw exactly in myself when I was your age."
"By hole," Carrie started, "you mean never feeling good enough or understood with what you do?"
"Yes," Emily said. "I saw it that day in the precinct."
"Was it that obvious?" Carrie asked.
"Yes," Emily said. "I also profile people for a living, but I saw it because it was like seeing a mirror image of myself from when I was your age."
"Your mom is tough," Carrie replied.
"Yes, she is," Emily sighed.
"What about your father?" Carrie asked. "You never talk about him."
"There isn't too much to say," Emily said. "He left my mom when I was eighteen. A week after I left for college. He was also absent. I suppose he stayed around to provide that happy family image until I was on my own. He always argued for me, but the minute I was out, he left. We haven't really spoken since."
"I'm sorry," Carrie said. "I didn't know."
"Don't worry," Emily smiled, "Being married to someone who only cares about power and politics corrupts a family. He was also an ambassabor but did it because of his family line. I know he is much happier now. He remarried and always emails me on my birthday and the holidays. Sends me money from the trust, but besides that he just wants to live a life not in the spotlight, and I respect that. The more he talks to me, the closer he is to the drama my mom will pull him into."
"Got it," Carrie said. "Do you miss him?"
"Like I said," Emily said, "He was always absent. I was raised more by my nannies and teachers."
Carrie nodded going back to thinking about things Elizabeth had said earlier. Emily pulled into the parking structure and parked the car looking over at Carrie's face filled with thought.
"Ready?" Emily asked.
"Emily?" Carrie asked.
"Yes?" Emily asked looking over at Carrie.
"Your mom said she never pictured you or thought you wanted kids," Carrie started. "Or could. I know you said you didn't think you could, but I was just wondering."
"I wanted to take you in," Emily said. "And I always did want kids, it's just very complicated."
"And you brought someone," Carrie said pausing, "Are you gay?"
Emily looked ahead and sighed, "Yes. I am. I'm sorry if I didn't tell you and if you have any grievances about it."
"It's okay," Carrie nodded. "I kinda assumed you were."
"You did?" Emily responded.
"Yeah," Carrie shrugged, "You don't talk about dating and never have seemed interested in any men. Even the ones in the movies with abs."
Emily looked at Carrie, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just wasn't sure how you'd take it. Not everyone has ever been good about it."
"I've never cared," Carried shrugged, "One of my best friends for all my life is gay. I just always saw people as people. I know my parents didn't see it that way, and that's one way we differed, but it doesn't change someone."
"You are an amazing kid," Emily said.
"So does the team know?" Carrie asked.
"I guess," Emily said. "They knew I was dating a woman when I joined the team. It was just something we never talk about. I mean JJ has been my wing-woman for a bit when we go out. I'm a bit awkward."
"Okay," Carrie chuckled, "I just wanted to know."
"Thank you for asking," Emily said. "Again, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just didn't know how."
"That's okay," Carrie said. "It doesn't change any single thing I think about you."
"Okay," Emily sighed, "Ready to go upstairs?"
"Yes" Carrie responded.
The two headed upstairs and Carrie walked into the kitchen and took a seat at where she had let her textbooks out. Emily followed realizing she still had dishes to do from breakfast. Emily looked over at the teen silently reading the book.
"So," Emily said slowly, "One of your best friends is also gay?"
"Um yeah," Carrie said. "Back in Denver. His name is Brandon. I initially became friends with his twin sister Mara, but then we all just became friends. He's really funny."
"Do you miss them?" Emily asked Carrie.
"Yeah," Carrie replied feeling a ball in her throat rise, "I guess. Everything just happened so fast."
"Carrie," Emily paused knowing this conversation would have to happen some point soon, "Have you reached out or thought about reaching out to anyone in Denver?"
Carrie felt a rush of fear running over her that was nauseating, "I have to um…use the bathroom."
Emily sighed seeing the teens demeanor change, and followed Carrie down the hall after a minute. By the time she got to the door she could hear Carrie coughing heavily. Emily picked up her pace and made it into the bathroom in time to see Carrie hunched over the toilet. The older brunet raced to Carrie's side, pulling the teens hair back and rubbing her back, as Carrie emptied the contents of lunch below.
"It's okay," Emily said softly, "You'll be okay. Let me get you some water."
Carrie sank onto the floor and watched as Emily flushed the toilet and filled the glass on the sink with water before handing it to Carrie. Carrie drank the water and closed her eyes, pulling her knees up against her chest and rocking back and forth.
Emily sat down opposite of Carrie, "I'm sorry if that question was too much."
"No," Carrie replied. "I know we need to talk about things back there. I just am terrified to and the anxiety rush got the best of me."
"I understand," Emily nodded, "We can have it with your therapist if you'd like?"
Carrie shook her head, "No. I'd rather just have it with you. I've just been avoiding it because its like I have these two worlds. I don't want to believe everything in the Denver world is real because it's scary. And this world here is safe, and I have you. I just have this fear of if we talk about it, it all becomes real and solidifies what happened, and the thought of that scares me."
"Have you ever though that maybe," Emily paused a second, "Talking about there and reconnecting might help you find some resolution?"
"Yeah," Carrie nodded, "My therapist told me that too. I know there are just things we need to handle, but yeah, I left without saying goodbye and I feel guilty knowing I just left people with unfinished business. I'd just like to take care of the scary things first so I can maybe start thinking of the good things with Denver."
"That's a smart idea," Emily replied, seeing the wisdom the teen had beyond her years. "We can have that conversation whenever you wish to have it. I don't want to push it."
"Can we have it now?" Carrie asked. "It has been a month and a half and I think we just need to have it."
"Okay," Emily sighed knowing this would be a tiring afternoon for both. "Here, let me get you your toothbrush so you can brush your teeth. I have some files I need to get, and then how about we talk?"
"Yeah," Carrie nodded, wiping away the tears on her face to make room for new ones sure to come.
"Where do you want to talk?" Emily asked. "Your room, my room, living room, kitchen?"
Carrie thought for a minute, "I don't know."
"How about the living room," Emily suggested, "Then the bedrooms can stay safe places."
Carrie nodded with a sad smile before softly replying, "Okay."
Carrie brushed her teeth as Emily left to get the documents she needed. The teen sighed slowly walking down the hall to see Emily on the couch. Carrie paused almost forgetting where to go before Emily patted the spot next to her. Carrie made her way over, taking a seat, and looked up to Emily who kissed her forehead.
"I know this isn't easy," Emily sighed brushing Carrie's hair back. "I had my lawyers go through everything the other week so I could understand more to explain to you anything here."
Carrie nodded, "Okay."
"So, there are a few things we need to look at," Emily started, "Your parent's will, things regarding the house, and a few others. So, your parents did have a will. There wasn't too much too it."
Emily paused pulling it out.
"I figured," Carrie sighed, "They weren't planning on dying."
"Yes," Emily nodded. "They wanted any of their savings to first pay off the house, and then go to you and your brother. IN the case, one of you hadn't been alive, the other would receive all of it. They drafted it very clear, so there isn't too much confusion. Now first, they had savings for you and your brother to help with college. The rest of the accounts were to pay for funeral services and after death relations."
Carrie nodded wiping her eyes, "Okay. Um, I had signed something saying to have them each cremated, but that all I remember."
"I have a copy of those documents as well," Emily nodded. "They were all cremated the day after you left."
Carrie gulped realizing that she would never be able to see them again hitting her. Carrie took in a shaky breath and took to the ceiling blinking, hoping the tears would reside. Emily could tell Carrie was trying to not cry, and Emily knew this was not the time for that. The older brunet scooted closer, wrapping Carrie in her arms, and leaning back against the couch.
A sob escaped Carries lips, "I'm never going to see them again. They're actually gone."
"I know," Emily cooed, trying to fathom how the fifteen-year-old was processing what was happening.
"They aren't coming back," Carrie cried. "Like their bodies aren't even here anymore. My family is gone. Actually gone."
Emily held the teen tightly as she felt Carrie grab onto her. She knew Carrie had understood what had happened, but this was the moment that Carrie was finally grasping the full understanding.
"It isn't fair," Carrie cried, "They should be here still. Why is it just me?"
"I don't know Carrie," Emily replied, "The universe is weird in that way. It's never fair or easy. I'm so sorry that this had to happen. It's not fair to you or them. None of that is fair."
Carrie nodded against Emily, "It isn't. I just never had to watch or deal with the aftermath of someone dying."
"You're fifteen," Emily replied, "You shouldn't have."
Carrie slowed her crying and breathing, "Its just hard knowing their bodies are just gone and they are ashes. Like what produced me isn't here."
"Yeah," Emily replied. "Death is weird."
"It is," Carrie nodded.
Emily realized that no one had ever probably talked to Carrie about death and grieving, "I grew up Catholic, and there was always this idea of death and afterlife, heaven or hell. I don't know about you, but that was just always a far stretch for me to believe or understand. I felt like people were forgotten because they were in the hands of God and didn't have the same remembrance."
"Yeah," Carrie nodded, "My parents always said that, but I didn't understand."
"One way that makes death easier for me to except," Emily started, "Is that knowing the same atoms, molecules, the energy that is on earth, that makes up each up, doesn't disappear after you die. It goes back into the earth. The things that make up someone go and feed plants, help us grow, so everything is just always living for a sense. On and on. And the memories you have keep them alive after death. Stories keep people's essence living on in a sense. I don't know if that makes any sense to you or helps, but that's how I think of it."
"No," Carrie nodded, "It makes sense. That helps. I just felt like their lives, especially my brother's, were just wasted since they didn't get to live if they should've. But that makes it at least seen like they will continue to aid in the world."
Carrie looked up to Emily and smiled.
"Yes, they do," Emily nodded. "It kind of defeats the, 'I'll see you again in the afterlife', but how our world moves, there is no way that at some point the things that make up the people we loved when they pass, will not interact with whatever we are when we pass. There is some point we all have to cross again."
"Yeah," Carrie nodded. "I always liked the line in the Irish Blessing, 'And until we meet again, may god hold you in the palm of his hand'. I just still see that as how you were saying. Like at some point, I will have something of them."
"Exactly," Emily nodded. "Does that help at all?"
"Yeah," Carrie nodded, "It isn't easy, but it gives me a little more peace."
"Do you want to continue?" Emily asked.
"Yes," Carrie nodded. "I just want to get this done."
"Okay," Emily nodded. "So, your families ashes are all in erns in one of the cemeteries close to where you lived. If you, and when you want, we can have them stay there, fly them here, or take their ashes wherever you wish."
"Thank you," Carrie nodded. "I'm not ready yet, but I know at some point I will be.'
"Just let me know," Emily smiled. "I hope it's okay with you, but my lawyers and I made it so the funds they had would take care of those things. I knew you weren't able to at the time, but they needed to happen."
"Thank you," Carrie replied. "You didn't need to handle all of this. You're busy."
"I knew it would help you," Emily nodded in response. "I also moved all of their accounts to be under your name. For now, the only money coming out is to pay the bills on the house; which are basically nothing."
Carrie nodded, "I was wondering about that."
"The rest will stay in the account," Emily started, "And you can get access when you turn eighteen. We can also always change this."
"No that's a good idea," Carrie nodded, "Unless you want to use them to take care of me. I know it was sudden and everything."
"I have plenty more money, Carrie," Emily replied. "You saw how my mom lives."
"I know," Carrie replied. "What about the house?"
"So," Emily began, "There's these departments that are crime scene cleanup crews, essentially. They came and cleaned up the place to make it look like nothing happened. I know some furniture got removed and some didn't. I had found a service recommended by them that would keep an eye on the place until you decided what you would want to do. Most of your things were moved to a storage until, and the rest is in the house. There's security and a key code to make sure nothing happens. I don't know if you want to hold onto the place or what, but that decision is entirely up to you."
"That's a big one to make," Carrie sighed.
"Yes, it is," Emily nodded, "Why I hadn't brought it up to you."
"Thank you," Carrie looked up at Emily with sad eyes, "I'm not ready to decide. I want to go back I think, before deciding, but I'm not ready to go back. I don't see a point of keeping the house, but who would buy it?"
"Sometimes contractors will," Emily replied, "Sometimes that does mean tearing the house down. That is something that will be considered, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there."
"Okay," Carrie nodded. "In a way tearing the house down would bring a lot of peace."
"Then whenever you are ready," Emily started, "We can explore what that means."
"Thank you for helping with all of this," Carrie started, "You didn't need to."
"I wanted to make it as easy for you as possible," Emily said wrapping her arms around Carrie, "I know this isn't easy or fair, but I have good lawyers and can make it as easy for you as possible."
"Emily?" Carrie asked.
"Yes?" Emily replied pressing a kiss on Carrie's forehead.
"What had my parents put in their will about my brother and I in the case they died?" Carrie asked, "Like when we were still not adults."
"To be honest," Emily sighed, "I don't think they knew. There wasn't much set up. It said to try to find family, but there was not much to find. I think they did know if they were to die, you guys would have had a good chance of being placed in foster care."
"Oh," Carrie said.
"Your parents had stated," Emily paused, "To find the best suitable home for you guys. They wanted you to always be cared for and loved. JJ had found that when we had been looking. She read through that and had told me about that. I figured out of your options and what your parents wanted; I would be the best chance for you."
Carrie felt her eyes fill with tears at that, "Thank you, for helping them fulfill what they wanted."
"Of course," Emily said wrapping Carrie in a hug, "I want the best for you, too."
"I know," Carrie said snuggling in closer in Emily's arms. "Is there anything else of hard stuff?"
"That's it," Emily said. "Any questions?"
"No," Carrie shook her head. "What you said earlier. I do want to reach out to a few people in Denver. I feel like its awkward to now since I've avoided everything and left them now for over a month."
"I don't think so," Emily said. "I think anyone who cared would understand. That's always been my experience as someone who moved a lot as a child. Just reach out when you feel ready."
"I want to," Carrie sighed. "I'm just scared."
"It is scary," Emily said. "Have you thought about talking that stuff out in therapy?"
"Yeah," Carrie nodded, "I bought it up last week, but I want to maybe talk about it more this week. I really do want to speak to Brandon and Mara."
"Whenever you're ready," Emily said, "I'm sure you will make the right decision."
"I know," Carrie sighed.
"I'm really proud of you," Emily responded. "This isn't easy, and you met my mom. You are just really impressive and handling this all very well."
"Thanks," Carrie replied, "You've made it a lot easier. Thank you for being around. I wouldn't have been able to do this without you."
Emily pulled Carrie back into her arms and Carrie burrowed in again.
"Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?" Emily asked.
"I kinda want to take a nap," Carrie replied. "I may have stayed up late last night working on the history paper."
"Mmmhmmm," Emily replied. "I heard you a little. I think you guys worked on the paper all of an hour."
"Did not," Carrie replied.
"I was once your age," Emily smirked. "I know how it goes. I'm glad you were having fun."
"Good," Carrie replied. "Yeah, I think I should nap. This day has been exhausting. I at least need to rest."
"Do you want space or someone with you?" Emily asked.
"Um," Carrie said looking down, "Can you stay with me? I'm just a little bit scared right now about where my brain might go."
"Of course, sweety," Emily smiled, "Whatever you need."
"Thank you," Carrie replied with a yawn.
"Let's go get you in bed," Emily suggested rubbing Carrie's back and helping her up.
Carrie stayed as close as possible to Emily on the walk to the bedroom and immediately curled up against Emily; holding onto the woman's shirt so she couldn't leave. Emily ran her fingers calmingly through Carrie's hair and kissed her forehead. That only made Carrie curl in closer.
"Get some sleep, love," Emily said quietly. "I've got you right here with me."
Carrie nodded, "Thanks, Em."
Emily remained with Carrie, taking some time on her phone. An hour passed, and another, growing closer to dinner. Emily looked down at her phone from a text from JJ.
'Hey, would you guys want to come over for dinner tonight? I'm making chili and have a lot.'
'We would love to, but we've had a bit of a day.'
'Everything okay?'
'Just between CPS visit yesterday, it spooked Carrie. We had lunch with my mom today, and then afterwards I guess I might have pushed, but Carrie decided she was ready to go over all the documentation and paperwork about her family, house, will. Everything is hitting her, but I think she might be coming to terms. She's starting to talk about Denver. She freaked out and threw up. She's sleeping now with me here.'
'Oh god. Poor thing. I can bring some food by for you guys. I know Carrie likes chili.'
'That would be great.'
'Okay. Be there in the next hour. I'll just stop by shortly.'
'Thanks, Jayji.'
Emily smiled knowing all the steps JJ had been taking to help over the past few weeks. She knew JJ was a caretaker type and had always watched out for the best of them, but it was showing more and more of how much JJ meant to her. Carrie looked back down to Carrie, who had let go of and was finally relaxed. The teen looked so young, naive, and innocent laying there. Emily sighed knowing that would all go away once she had awoken, but for now Carrie was peaceful.
Emily heard a knock later and quietly slid out from under Carrie. Making sure the teen was still asleep, Emily headed down the hall and opened the door.
"Hey," JJ greeted Emily. "How are you?"
"Good," Emily smiled, "It's been a long day or two, but everything that happened was needed. Thanks again for bring food by."
"My pleasure," JJ smiled, "Where's Carrie?"
"Sleeping still," Emily said. "I suppose. She just looks so peaceful when she does."
"I know," JJ said.
JJ placed the food down and turned back to Emily. She looked over her friend seeing the fear.
"What is it, Em?" JJ asked.
"I just," Emily started, "Carrie is perfect. I don't understand how her parents could have thought anything other than that and made her feel like she wasn't good enough. And she just can't separate what happened from her fault. I know she is terrified that CPS could just remove her from here and I can't let that happen."
"It wouldn't," JJ started. "You know that."
"Well, they still could," Emily said. "Technically she has family. I know the will says for the best interest and she knows that now, but if it ever came up, I don't fully know what the court would argue. CPS knows she's adjusting well here and uprooting her wouldn't work. I'm just overthinking this, right?"
"Yes," JJ said. "I think you might be. Everyone would side with you."
"Okay," Emily said. "I told Carrie it wouldn't happen and there was no chance. I just hope I'm right."
JJ sighed looking at her friend and pulled her in for a hug, "You all will be okay."
Emily reciprocated the hug that lingered longer than their hugs normally did. It was only ended by a call from down the hall.
"Emily?" Carrie called out. "Em?"
Emily quickly made her way down the hall and into the room and took a seat on the bed and placed a hand on the teens leg, "Hey, I'm right here. I only just left. JJ stopped by to bring food."
"Oh," Carrie said looking up to see JJ appear at the door. "Sorry I just thought…"
"I'm not leaving you," Emily said.
"Sorry its stupid," Carrie replied.
"Hey it's okay," Emily sighed.
Emily's phone rang and she looked down to see it was CPS.
"I need to take this," Emily said getting up, "I'll be right back."
Emily exited and JJ looked over at Carrie from the doorframe, "Hi sweets. Can I come in?"
"Yeah," Carrie replied.
JJ walked over taking a seat next to Carrie. JJ reached out, soothing the teens messy hair.
"How are you?" JJ asked. "I know it's been a hard day."
"Yeah," Carrie nodded. "It needed to happen. JJ, thank you for taking the time to look though my parent's will. I know without it; I wouldn't have ended up in this spot."
"Honey," JJ started, "I think you would've."
"How do you know?" Carrie asked.
"Because" JJ replied. "Em the minute we left after the first time we met you, never could stop talking and thinking about you. I think the idea of taking you in was set in stone the first time we met you. Not after hearing the will."
"Oh," Carrie replied. "Emily's mom today brought up that apparently I remind her a lot of when Emily was my age. Emily also said she had seen that in me. I guess that's maybe why she wanted me."
"You were always wanted," JJ said. "Emily loves you, and I love you."
"I know," Carrie smiled.
"Hey," Emily said, stepping back into the room, "That was CPS. They said that everything went well with the visit. They have no digressions about you living here and say they are very pleased."
"Really?" Carrie replied.
"You're stuck here kiddo," Emily smiled.
"Good," Carrie replied. "Could JJ also stay here for dinner?"
"Of course," Emily smiled. "If you want to of course, JJ."
"Yes," JJ smiled looking between the two.