A/N: Here is another short update. I hope you are enjoying the story!
There is a trigger warning for this chapter in the end notes.
Summary of chapter 10 for those who chose to skip it (sorry, it ended up being more than two sentences):
- In Senoia, Michonne, Daryl, and Lucas raid a drugstore and a clinic, where they find the medication Marissa needs.
- Michonne tells she was a Lawyer (Fulton County ADA, Crimes Against Women and Children Unit), and Lucas tells he was a second-year psychiatry resident.
- They hide from the Claimers in the clinic and hear that they are looking for some people, including a girl. One of the Claimers talks about his plans to sexually assault her.
- Lucas, Daryl, and Michonne depart for the farm.
As soon as they turned north on SR 85 the car ran out of gas, so, while the others watched the area, Lucas went to fill the tank with the extra fuel they'd brought. Michonne walked a little ahead and spotted something curious. She returned to the Hummer and said, "there's an abandoned train car on tracks running under the road. It's got some sort of sign on it; I want to check it out."
"I'm done here. If you two want to go, I can watch the car," Lucas said.
"OK."
Daryl and Michonne made their way down and approached the wagon. It had a banner stretched across its side that read 'Sanctuary for all. Community for all. Those who arrive, survive.' Tacked below was an old Railway and County Map of Georgia with a number of highlighted railroads, all leading to the city of Macon, on top of which there was a hexagram with 'TERMINUS' written next to it.
Michonne furrowed her brow as she turned to Daryl and asked, "what do you think? Would anyone go for it if they saw this sign?"
"Not sure," he answered. "I mean, wouldja? Seems a bit too good, don't it?"
"It does," she said. "On the other hand, it's not like there are a lot of other options. We lucked out, came across people who gave us plenty of supplies, but it would be too much of a coincidence if that were to be the case with everyone else."
"True," he said with a reflective look on his face. After a couple of minutes, he continued, "why don't we go to the farm and, if there ain't no sign of anyone by tomorrow morning, we try this place?"
"Sounds good."
When they got back to the vehicle Lucas asked if they'd found anything interesting and Michonne described what they'd seen and their revised plan.
Lucas considered the information for a little while and said, "I'm sure I'm just overthinking, but the name has me wondering. One of the meanings of 'terminus' is literally 'the end point of a transportation system,' so it makes perfect sense. I just can't help but think of 'terminate' when I hear it, though, and that creeps me out a bit."
"Now you mention it, it does sound a little creepy," Michonne said.
"Don't get me wrong, I think your plan is a good one. I mean, if the alternative were to be out here, I'd probably go have a look at the place. The name would have me being extra careful, though."
"Don't worry. With the stuff we've seen, we'd be extra careful if the name was 'The Wonderful Land of Puppies and Kittens," Michonne assured him.
Daryl's impressive sense of direction had gotten them straight to the farm. Unfortunately, between the dilapidated house, the burned-down barn, and the weed-infested fields, it was a dreary view. They conducted a thorough sweep of and around the home but found no signs of occupation. They did, however, find enough water to clean up, as well as unexpired cans of food, which they used for a meal.
"I thought I'd stay the night and, if you decide to go back to the train tracks, I'll drop you off on my way home tomorrow . Plus, I can keep watch later so you can start your trek better rested, should that be what you choose to do" Lucas said.
"That would be great, thanks," Michonne answered while Daryl gave him a nod.
"OK, so I'll go rest in one of the bedrooms. Wake me up me when you want to turn in."
"We will."
Daryl entered the house after smoking a cigarette to find Michonne on the couch with a bottle of Jameson and two glasses.
"I think there's just enough for two drinks each," Michonne said while she poured the liquor.
"Where didja find that? Hershel didn't have no alcohol in the house."
"It was hidden in the kitchen. So, either it was left behind by someone who showed up after you guys had to move on, or I came across somebody's secret stash," she said, handing him a glass, which he took before flopping into one of the armchairs. They sat for some time in a comfortable silence, just enjoying each other's company.
"Do you really think we gonna find somewhere to settle?" Daryl was first to speak.
"I do… I have to, otherwise there's no point; I might as well go back to wandering with the walkers, which is no different than being dead," she answered. "You don't?"
"I dunno… it's just been 'bout survivin' for so long, even before all this… I never stopped to think on it."
Michonne sensed a shift in the conversation, as if Daryl was now the one who wanted to share some of what he'd been through. Maybe it was the whiskey; it hadn't been much, but, then again, they hadn't had alcohol in a long time. In any case, she found herself hoping to be right, because she did want to learn more about him. When she saw he was biting the side of his thumb, like he did when he was embarrassed, or considering something he thought could be embarrassing, she decided to try and help him out.
"Is that how you got to be such a good hunter?"
He changed thumbs and glanced at her with uncertainty before saying, "yeah… my old man and my mom… well, they weren't always there… so Merle and me had to learn to find what we needed."
"I'm sorry," she said sincerely.
"Nah. No point being sorry, it was what it was." After a little while, he continued quietly, "some people are just no good at having kids."
"I know," Michonne agreed somberly, her eyes welling up.
Daryl furrowed his brow as he looked at her and said, "wait, you're not… you're not thinkin' you are one of those people? 'Cause I don't believe it for a second."
She averted her eyes before answering, "I don't know… maybe. Like I said yesterday, Andre is the best thing that ever happened to me; I'm grateful for the time we had together and would do it all again in a heartbeat. But I couldn't protect him, and that's what parents are supposed to do," she finished with a few silent tears running down her cheeks.
"We fought together plenty, 'Chonne, and I ain't seen anyone better. If you couldn't protect him it's 'cause no one could, I know it. That don't mean you're not a good mom."
"It's not that simple."
"Yeah, it is," he said. " 'Chonne, look at me, please." When she finally did, he continued, "did you love Andre?"
"More than anything in the world."
"Did you take care of him? Hug him? Kiss him? Play with him?"
"Yes, every day."
Daryl suddenly realized he was feeling frustrated. No, not frustrated, he was feeling angry. Angry that he hadn't had any of the things he'd just described. Angry that this world they were living in had made Michonne feel she was a bad mother. Angry that he couldn't make her see that she wasn't a bad mother. Because, if she was, then what in the hell had his parents been?
"Did you mistreat him?" he asked in an altered voice, adrenaline already rushing through his veins.
"What!? No, of course not, I…"
"Then you ain't a bad mom," he almost shouted. Without thinking, he stood up, turned his back to her, took his shirt off, and said, "this is what a bad parent looks like."
Michonne rose to her feet and approached Daryl, drawing a sharp breath when she saw the numerous scars. She touched him ever so lightly just below the right shoulder and he flinched but didn't move away. She was filled with sorrow and anger all at once. Also without thinking, she took off her top and brought her chest flush against his back as she wrapped her arms around his torso, wanting him to feel the warmth of her body.
When Daryl's brain caught up to what he had done, he was surprised by Michonne's reaction. He would have expected her to have been repulsed, or at least distressed. Instead, she had touched him, gently. She was hugging him, had her bare skin against his scars, he could feel her heart beating. He brought his hands to rest on hers as his breathing slowed down.
They didn't know how long they stood that way in the living room. It felt like days at the same time as it felt like minutes. When they separated, they put their shirts back on before proceeding upstairs. He went into one of the bedrooms while she woke up their travel companion. Once done, she followed him into the room, where he was waiting for her. They fell asleep together, this time Daryl holding Michonne.
A/N: Trigger warnings: discussion of past physical and psychological abuse.
Please let me know what you think in the comments, I really appreciate your taking the time to do so :)