Chapter 10 - Frustration
"Oh, there you are. I hope you girls are hungry!" Joyce called out as the pair made their way downstairs. "I made dinner thinking David would be joining us but he's working a double shift. Grab a plate and feel free to take whatever you want. It doesn't keep well as leftovers so David can just grab something from the freezer to heat up when he makes it home."
Not needing to be told twice when there was a feast of Joyce's cooking they took full advantage. For Max especially, it was an extremely welcome sight, since they hadn't actually had lunch, only a few snacks to keep them going since breakfast. Without a moments thought to any considerations of her prior attempts to cut back, Max loaded up her plate before moving to the dining table, the smell alone enough to make her drool.
Although for the most part Chloe and her stepfather weren't at each other's throats like they had been in the early days, dinner always felt more relaxing without him there. Conversation flowed freely without awkward changes of subject when it got tense or arguments bubbled up over things that didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. Eventually the topic turned to academics as they talked about Max's recent projects.
"I still need to hand in a few shots, but I think I know what I want to do for them," Max explained. She'd had taken some time to work on a theme, but so far, she was happy with the direction things were going in.
"You'll need to let me see them when you're done," Joyce cooed, she was always supportive and that hadn't changed over the years.
"I promise I will. I should probably make some copies so I can send them to my parents too," Max thought out loud, considering what photos would be best to send them.
"Your parents must be so proud of you," Joyce continued as a thought occurred to her, "Oh, maybe next time you talk to them can you see if they want to come down here for a short visit? It would be good to catch up with them and I'm sure they'd love to see you both doing so well."
Not being able to hide how she felt in the moment, Max frowned unconsciously at the suggestion, knowing how well yesterday's conversation had gone, "Um, maybe…"
"I take it from that, something's bothering you about them?" Joyce probed.
"Mom," Chloe groaned, knowing the broad strokes of Max's recent call with her parents, "Can you leave it? Max doesn't want to talk about it."
"Chloe…" Joyce warned, not appreciating the tone but easing up when she spoke again, "Sorry, Max. Anything I can help with?"
"S'fine," Max mumbled, but she couldn't help but let out some of the frustrations she felt as she continued. "It's just they keep getting on at me about my weight as though that's all that matters."
"Well, it certainly doesn't matter to me. You're a lovely young woman now, and you've got your whole future ahead of you," Joyce tried to reassure her, "I know your parents have always been a bit more highly strung, but they care about you. Maybe you just need to give them time to realise you're not their little girl anymore?"
"Maybe…" Max lamented, she wasn't entirely convinced but she didn't have it in her to get into that right now.
The conversation didn't exactly return to the same easy flow as before, and Max had become quieter as she contemplated the situation further. Eventually though, their meals were finished, and they made their excuses to return upstairs to the sanctum that was Chloe's room.
As they settled in on the bed, semi propped up by pillows, Chloe raised her arm over Max's shoulders to allow her to snuggle in, using her other hand to choose an episode of one of their favourite cartoons. She knew she needed to give Max some time before she brought up what was bothering her, instead opting to provide quiet comfort right now.
It seemed to work as the tension in Max's shoulders eased as time passed, snuggling in closer and sighing heavily as she accepted the comforting hold.
"How you feeling now?" Chloe asked gently, figuring now would be as good a time as any to see if Max wanted to talk.
"Better," Max assured her, "Just the same frustration I've had with them for a while now. I know they are worried about my weight, but I just don't want it to be something they bring up every time. It's not like my weight should be an issue to them anyway."
"What, um… I mean, how do you feel about your weight," Chloe probed cautiously, given her preferences and the previous difficulties, she hadn't broached the subject much unless Max brought it up not wanting to force the matter or make her uncomfortable. "I know we've talked before but now, I um… do you want to do more to lose any, or-"
"I don't know, I don't really care that much to be honest," Max answered before Chloe finished, but quickly it became obvious to her why it frustrated her so much, "Like, does it really matter when I'm happy again for the first time in years. Why can't they accept that I'm happy here, that I'm happy with you."
"You told them about us?" She'd come back to the rest later, but Chloe wasn't entirely sure about how out about their relationship Max was with her parents. It wasn't like they'd tried to hide it from anyone at school and Joyce obviously knew the second things changed between them, but Max's parents weren't around day to day, it was likely a bigger deal to them.
"Not yet," Max shook her head, burying herself into Chloe for a moment, "I tried, but I kept getting tongue tied and Mom was her usually oblivious self about it. Plus, it feels like something I should tell them in person with both of us there rather than surprise them over the phone."
"I love you, Max," Chloe reassured, rubbing Max's back at the same time, "However you want to handle that, I'm here for you, I'm not going anywhere."
"I love you too," Max mumbled from where she'd snuggled in under Chloe's chin.
"and If you want me to be there as support next time they call I can do that too. I can shut that shit down way faster than anyone can even finish a sentence," Chloe continued, earning a giggle before a moment of silence fell upon them.
"Sorry again," Max apologised, "I don't want to keep having this conversation when we're meant to be having fun together."
"I've told you before Caufield, no apologising for this," Pulling back from the embrace, Chloe shifted so she could look at Max instead of just the top of her head.
The movement meant they were now lying on the bed facing each other but still close as Chloe's arm hung loosely over Max's wider middle, her thumb stroking the soft skin exposed as Max's shirt had ridden up. A small shiver went up her spine at the touch, changing her minds focus from the topic at hand to more immediate feelings.
While she had been shy, and to some degree still was, Max had become bolder about initiating as she let her hand wander under the hem of her partners shirt, lightly stroking her defined abdomen while enjoying the hand now stroking along her bulging love handle as she lay on her side.
"Hmm, what you thinking about now?" Chloe asked, knowing fine well as she could easily read the change in mood as Max blushed and smiled coyly. Her eyes darting down to Chloe's lips and back gave the punk all the signal she needed as she shifted closer, laying along the photographer's larger body as she leaned in capturing her lips with her own. It seemed the novelty of being able to share this level of intimacy hadn't worn off as it continued to build anticipation in them both of more to come.
Before long, the kiss deepened, both of them urging the other on. For all her inexperience Max had been a quick learner and pressed further into the embrace, moaning as she felt Chloe's hands firmly caress her belly before gently grabbing a handful of her under hang which had spilt out between them.
It came as a bit of a surprise but not an unpleasant one, Chloe hadn't ever touched her belly in this way before. It brought to mind the images and videos that she had seen on those sites not too long ago. Videos of woman, her size and bigger, having their bellies rubbed while their partner teased them.
Her imagination ran wild for a moment, but when she found herself being rolled onto her back as Chloe more firmly rubbed the expanse of her middle, her shirt being dragged up to expose more of her belly, she couldn't help the squeak that came out of her, causing Chloe to immediately pull back.
"Shit, Max, I… uh," Chloe struggled to form a coherent apology, hoping that she hadn't freaked Max out. She lifted herself off Max entirely, sitting back against the headboard. "Fuck…"
The sudden change from a somewhat unexpected but not unwelcome move to the cool air between them and Chloe doggedly avoiding eye contact, keeping her hands to herself in a split second threw her system for a loop.
"Chloe?" Hormones raging still, she tried to settle her breathing as she sat up, tugging her shirt back down without much success as it sprung back up over her belly, "Wha… What's wrong?"
Frowning, mostly at herself and partly at her frustrated libido not being satisfied, Chloe shook her head, "I shouldn't have touched you like that."
"Why not?" Max probed. She didn't think she'd given any indication that she was unhappy with what had been going on moments before. When no further explanation came, she reached over grabbing one of her hands, "Chloe?"
"Because I shouldn't, I…" Chloe started, huffing out a deep breath before starting again, "We haven't really talked about this since last month huh?"
Max was the one to frown this time before realising what Chloe meant, "Oh, I guess we haven't, have we?"
"I just didn't want to freak you out because of how into some things I am," Chloe continued, looking over, finally meeting Max's gaze, "Especially with how things went down before, I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you or that you have to let me touch you that way if it makes you uncomfortable."
"I wasn't uncomfortable," Max reassured immediately. She wanted to make sure Chloe didn't pull away from her any further as she was prone to do. "Maybe we should talk about it more, so this doesn't keep being a thing?"
"When did you get so brave?" Chloe joked lightly after a moment, earning a kiss to the back of the hand Max was still holding. It wasn't often Max was the one to confront issues head on after all, but then again, she knew Max could take on the world if she believed in herself more. "But you're right, we should talk."
Max tilted her head for a moment, figuring out what to ask to help her understand some of the things she had read about or wanted to know after Rachels call, but the main questions that kept rolling around her head came out first, "What is it about it that you like? I mean why bigger women, or them getting bigger?"
"Um, well, it's a couple of things to be honest," Chloe winced at her weak start. Clearing her throat she tried to put it into words, "There's a softness to how it feels to hold someone that's bigger, how they take up more space next to you but it's easy to cuddle into them when you get close. How much more of them there is to touch… It's difficult to explain exactly, but I never felt as attracted to slim women as I am larger women."
Max considered Chloe's words as she trailed off, remembering reading similar explanations on the forums of the sites she had visited, but she still wanted to understand more. "What about the gaining weight part? I've tried to wrap my head around that part, but I guess the thing I don't get is that I've never thought of myself as attractive before, especially after gaining a lot of this weight…"
"Come here," Chloe encouraged, tugging on the hand that was holding hers to pull Max closer and into her lap. Helping Max settle as the heavier girl straddled her more slender frame, "I'd have to be a fool not to fall for those adorable freckles and doe eyes. You've always been beautiful, smart, talented, your weight doesn't change how I feel, please don't ever doubt that, ok?"
Max nodded in acknowledgement, Chloe's words cutting through the now far quieter voice of self-doubt that still occasionally reared its head.
"I never want to do anything to make you uncomfortable and I don't need this to be part of our relationship," Chloe continued, wanting it to be clear that Max's comfort was priority for her over her own desires. "You will always be enough for me without needing to do anything like that."
"I can't ask you to hide part of yourself though," Max objected. She knew trying to hide away from issues caused more problems than it solved. "I won't ask that of you, it wouldn't be fair."
Seeing that Chloe was still a little hesitant she decided a more physical statement was needed. Taking Chloe's hands from their place resting on her thighs she brought them to the widest part of her belly, where her shirt had ridden up again, causing Chloe to freeze, swallowing hard.
"Besides, it's not like you're forcing me to do anything. In fact, I liked how you were touching me before, I was just surprised at first, but that didn't mean I wasn't enjoying what you were doing," Leaning forward, she pressed her belly into Chloe's hands as she brought their lips together again.
She kept it light at first, until Chloe relaxed and began to return the kiss in earnest, the punk's hands loosening up as she allowed herself the opportunity to sink them into the bulge of fat that had spread out all around Max's middle. After a moment or two of testing the water, Chloe moved her attention to the much softer lower band of flab, feeling the way it wobbled with their movements, but it wasn't until Max moaned into the kiss that she genuinely let herself enjoy the moment too, pulling her forward and causing her to lean on Chloe more than support herself on her haunches.
"Fuck, Max…" Chloe moaned at the feeling of Max's weight, even partially, on top of her like this as it drove her wild. She desperately needed more, but for now she stuck to her promise of letting Max take things at her pace.
Neither of them had any idea of how much time had passed but the desire for more kept building in them both, especially as Chloe became bolder. Taking a hold of the hem of Max's shirt she pulled back from the kiss.
"Is this ok?" Chloe asked, lightly tugging at the shirt to clarify what exactly she meant and allowing Max a moment to catch her breath again.
She was more than prepared to slow things back down and had expected Max's customary shyness to perhaps kick in round about now, but the fire in the photographer's eyes told the story of how much more she wanted too.