A/N: Guess who has no self-control. Thanks again to the people leaving reviews and messaging me y'all are my absolute life blood. Oh and heads up! I've already played with canon a little bit obviously, but I'm making a change here too. The MCU never really roped Agents of SHIELD into the movies and i love them so here they are.

Chapter #09:

Oh, I Can So Just Sit Here and Cry

"Little sisters can be a pain, but the big sister heroine worship can't be beat." –Allison M. Lee

As it turns out, what I apparently needed all these years was just a good therapist. Who would've guessed? I mean, I probably should've been able to considering I had the mental and emotional stability of a half-eaten bagel. Then again though, admitting I needed a therapist was step one of a recovery plan that I had no plans to enact until I met the Avengers.

The rest of the weekend had gone shockingly fantastic. Sam was a lot of fun to talk to even when he wasn't giving me sage wisdom about my shit poor coping skills. I had dinner with him and Steve on Saturday night, even the others had eventually joined us, and when Bruce finally showed up I got to be the one to tell him I spent my morning in mini jail. He took the news like a champ, zero fazing whatsoever, but he was the most patient one out of this crew and dealing with the nonsense he did I bet my nonsense was low on the list. I'd work on that. At the end of the night though, Sam pulled me into a hug, that I only stiffened at for a few seconds mind you, and then offered me one more piece of advice.

'Reach out to them and let them reach out to you. It'll help.'

It sounded a bit like fortune cookie advice, but I was in no place to be doubting his therapy tactics. So, I did. That very night when we got back to the Tower and Clint asked if I wanted to watch a movie I tested the fortune cookie mumbo jumbo. Clint had put on some trash 'B-list' movie and when I came back from getting popcorn I forced myself to sit right next to him. Clint didn't even bat an eye or comment on it. He just grabbed some popcorn. Then halfway through the movie when I stiffly let my head rest on his shoulder all he did was wrap his around my own shoulders and laugh at the shitty acting on the screen. It had felt weird, wrong almost, but after a minute that faded, and it just felt nice.

It felt so nice that I nearly wanted to cry.

All of Sunday, I did the same thing. I tested the waters. I'd touch Tony's back when I went to bring him coffee, stretched my legs across Steve's lap when we watched our show, let Natasha play with my hair after she showed me the boots and clothes she bought me, and stood elbow to elbow with Bruce while we went over his lecture schedule for the week. I figured it would take a while, maybe months before the shock of it wore off, but by 2 PM of that day they were reaching back out to me and I liked it. My body didn't just not flinch, it craved attention. It was as if my body suddenly realized we were drowning and began to cling to any shred of rope to save us.

The last time I had been touched and loved it was… well, technically it was Bucky. Holding his hand felt right. If he hadn't let go of me himself I don't think I ever would've pulled my hand away. Before that though, the last time I didn't hate the hands that touched me was back when I was in high school. Nearly a decade of not having someone to comfort me through touch had left me hollow, but all it took was a single day of the Avengers friendly touches and warm smiles and jokes to begin filling that void in my chest.

Boss' acidic voice would leech into my brain and whisper how pathetic I was. That I was weak for leaning on these people who I had only known for a month. A pitiful, sad whore who sought after comfort like a child reaching out to its family. The voice would call me sick and worthless and a burden, but then Tony would squeeze my shoulder or Clint would wrap his arm around me or Bruce would touch my arm and the voice would disappear.

I stared into the mirror at myself wondering what was different. It was Monday morning and I was getting ready for work and something about me felt off. Not in a bad way though. My cheeks were fuller and had color, but I guessed that was from a consistent food source and heating that actually worked. My hair looked healthy and soft, but again that was only because I was taking showers everyday now. I lifted my fingers to touch the scar on my cheek under my eye. The souvenir Helga had left me. Truly, I thought I'd hate it every time I looked in the mirror, but I actually didn't mind it. The scar had been the price to my new life. I couldn't bring myself to hate that.

Quickly, I pulled myself away from the mirror and straightened the odd dress Natasha gotten for me over the weekend. I still hadn't even worn every item I had in my closet and she was already bringing me new things. The dress was navy blue and kind of looked like an oversized blazer with the collars on the neckline. One side was pulled tight over the other and was tied at my waist on the left in a small bow and the sleeves were three-quarters. A very nice dress I was sure, and Natasha definitely knew more about style than me so I wasn't questioning her by any means, it just looked kinda odd. She did tell me I had to wear the dress with real heels though and that wasn't my favorite part.

I grabbed a pair of black heels with a red bottom and hurried to the elevator with them in my hand, "JARVIS can you take me to wherever Tony is?"

"Of course. Sir is currently in the lab."

"How long has he been in there?" I questioned.

"He did not go to bed last night, Ms. Bradshaw."

I groaned and slipped the monstrous heels on before pulling out my phone to adjust Tony's schedule. He needed sleep and him going to his first meeting without it was kind of a waste of time anyways. Besides, the most important meeting he had today was after lunch. I shifted his meetings to different days, sending apologies to the business people I was bumping off today's schedule, leaving Tony's morning open.

The doors opened and I walked out without looking up. My feet took me to the lab on auto pilot and after I was done sending the last email, I tossed my phone into my bag and swung the lab door open.

"You told me you were going to bed at 11." I called out.

Tony glanced over his shoulder with a lopsided grin, "I grew out of my curfew a few years ago."

"Hardly." I rolled my eyes and walked closer. I set my hand on his arm forcing him to stop moving it on whatever he was doing. "What are you working on?"

"Iron Legion stuff. Ran into a hiccup last night so I needed to adjust some things."

"Well, I cancelled your meetings this morning."

Tony leaned his head back in a sigh of relief before looking back to me, "You're the best nanny ever. I could kiss you right now."

"Resist." I replied dryly and he chuckled. "The meeting after lunch is unavoidable though. You sleep this morning, eat, and then you're going to the meeting at 1. Deal?" Tony pulled his arm away from me to hold up a pinky with a smirk. I chuckled to myself before looping my pinky with his. "I need to run an errand this morning anyways so this kind of works out."

Tony pointed to me, "A you errand or a me errand?"

"I promised a…friend that I'd pay her family a visit." I shrugged and Tony turned to lean his back against his lab counter. "It's gonna take me a bit to ride the train out to Queens and then find—"

Tony waved his hands in front of me, "Whoa, whoa, ride the train?"

"That is how us peasants travel." I cocked an eyebrow up at him.

"Just take one of my cars."

"I could, and I thought about it, but…" I crossed my arms, "I already got arrested this weekend I really didn't want to get pulled over and arrested again for not having a valid driver's license."

Tony just blinked at me for a moment before shaking his head, "You don't have a driver's license? Do you even know how to drive?"

"Of course, I know how to drive." I scoffed. "I just let my license expire a few years ago and never got it renewed."

"Why not?"

"Well it seemed a little pointless since I didn't even own a car."

Tony shook his finger at me, "I can't believe you were going to let me buy you a Jeep and you don't even have your license!"

"No, no. I'm not letting you do anything." I argued back. "In fact, I keep telling you repeatedly to not buy me a Jeep."

Tony ignored me and set some things away in front of him before beginning to leave, "Well easy enough, I'll just drive you—"

"No." I looped my arm through his and yanked him back. "You are going to bed. Remember our pinky promise?"

Tony groaned but relented after a second, "What about the Spy Kids?"

"Clint and Nat already left."

"Jolly Green Giant?"

"It's his meditation hour."

"Capsicle?"

I shook my head with a chuckle, "Steve already left for DC. He has to work today because I interrupted the mission or whatever on Saturday."

Tony hummed in thought and anytime I opened my mouth to try and suggest I just take the train he cut me off. The door of the lab behind us swung open and we both turned to look at who arrived. It was a face I didn't recognize, and I wondered who he was to have clearance to this level of the Tower and Tony's lab.

"Agent. Just in time. Weirdly so, actually. Do you have this room bugged?" Tony questioned.

The agent stepped in with a tired look. He was older than me, maybe a little older than Tony, with brown hair styled professionally and a bit of a receding hairline. He had calm blue eyes that surveyed the room and despite being an Agent of SHIELD he looked friendly. He smiled at Tony in greeting and I made the mental note that he looked like the kind of guy you'd bump into at the grocery store and enjoy making friendly small talk with.

"I was here for a meeting, but then it was cancelled." Agent replied.

Tony looked to me and the agent's eyes followed his, "You cancelled a SHIELD meeting?"

I glanced from Tony to agent back and forth before shrugging, "Ok, in my defense, it wasn't labeled SHIELD or anything. It just said something about defense and Pepper told me the only meeting she 100% needed you at today was the one with the board after lunch." I glanced back to the agent sheepishly, "Sorry."

"No, don't apologize." Tony wrapped his arm around me with a grin, "I'm just stupid impressed. You cancelled a meeting with SHIELD!" Tony looked to the agent and pointed to me. "She's the best nanny in the world. Let's me stay up all night playing video games and then in the morning doesn't even make me go to school."

I shifted my weight awkwardly and mumbled, "I think that makes me the worst."

"It's fine." The agent smiled at me. "It technically wasn't SHIELD business. I was just hoping to talk to Stark."

"Sorry, Mary Poppins says I have to go to bed now or I don't get a spoonful of sugar." Tony shrugged and let me go to start walking towards the agent. He clapped the guy on the shoulder with a grin before looking back at me, "Aj this is Agent. Agent this is Aj. Agent, Aj was the kid we picked up from an illegal fighting ring and she needs a ride to Queens. Aj, Agent is a good guy who was shived by a Norse God and then lied to us about being dead for a few months." There was a beat of silence where Agent and I just stared at Tony in confusion and exhaustion. Tony nodded his head, "Alright, I'll see you at 1, sunshine."

Then Tony strode out of the lab as if he didn't leave the two of us with questions upon questions. I shook my head to try and snap out of the daze, "You know Tony Stark pretty well, right?" Agent nodded and I smiled. "Good. That means I don't have to apologize for him being him."

Agent chuckled and walked over to me offering his hand in greeting, "My name is Phil Coulson. You can just call me Coulson, most do."

"I was wondering what kind of parents would name their kid Agent." I shook his head with a nod. "I'm Aj Bradshaw. So, did you really get shived by a Norse God and pretend die?"

"Oh no, I actually did die." Coulson replied. "Long story. I was actually hoping to meet and talk to you. You said you need to go to Queens?"

I blinked in surprise, "Uh, yeah. You wanted to talk to me?"

Coulson moved to the door and held it open for me with a smile. I hurried to walk through and then he led me over to the elevators. He hit the button for the ground floor then stuck his hands into his pockets, "Clint talks about you all the time."

"Oh, right." I nodded. "Well if he said good things they're all true and if he said bad things, well…they're probably also true."

Coulson chuckled, "Where are you heading in Queens?"

"Meeting with a friend's family." I replied and opened my purse to make sure the envelope I put in there was still actually there. "You really don't have to drive me. I'm happy taking the train, Tony is just…"

"Tony?"

"Yupp." I nodded and the doors opened.

Coulson lead me across the lobby and outside. The cold air bit at my skin and I mentally wished I had grabbed my coat. Luckily, his car wasn't too far away. I was expecting a black government SUV, but instead I was greeted by a flashy red convertible with the cloth top pulled up. It was an older car based on the style, but nice all the same.

"Meet Lola." Coulson smiled and held the passenger door open for me.

"Hello, Lola." I greeted and slid into the comfortable seat.

Coulson came around and got in himself then immediately turned on the heat. I mumbled a thanks and told him the address. He pulled away from the curb and we sat in silence for a beat before he spoke up, "I saw the fight you were in. In Moscow."

"You did?" I asked with wide eyes. "How?"

"Rescuing you was technically a SHIELD sanctioned mission so there was a report and in the report was the video." He replied. I nodded understandingly. That made sense. I kind of wished I could burn that video into nothingness though. It wasn't my greatest moment and video evidence of me courting death was less than ideal. "You fight very well."

"So I hear."

"Can I ask who taught you?" Coulson questioned.

I hesitated. This was an agent of SHIELD, sure, and I was buddy-buddy with two others, but I still didn't actually know this guy. He knew Clint and Natasha though and probably the other Avengers. Plus, Tony had trusted this guy enough to leave me with him. That meant I could at least offer him the amount of trust I offered Sam. Besides, talking about the history of my fighting lessons wasn't too bad of a story.

"I was an athletic kid. Softball, volleyball, soccer." I shrugged. "I started Tae Kwon Do when I was a little kid because that's what parents do to energetic kids, you know? They stick 'em in a class like that. I liked it though, and the guy who was teaching me, I don't remember his name since I wasn't there long, told my parents that I had potential and suggested I go to the class next door." I pulled out my phone when I felt it vibrate but it was just an email to Tony. "Anyways, the class next door was actually a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class. He almost didn't take me because I was like eight, but he relented and I learned."

"Brazilian Jiu Jitsu at eight? You had the focus to learn at that age?"

I laughed, "I didn't have focus for anything at that age, and he taught me little things, but I really liked it. It was fun, and since it was fun I never considered it learning. It was just me and a new sport." It was weird that a small town like mine even had people to teach me these fighting styles, but I figured it was since we were an hour or so from a military base. A lot of those guys liked retiring to our town. "When I was ten, Paulo, my BJJ instructor, introduced me to a friend of his. His name was Daniel and he taught me Krav Maga. It was not long after my mom had died so I really threw myself into it. Coping method, you know?"

"I'm sorry to hear that. I could see a little of that in your fighting style though." Coulson nodded. "Especially against the Russian woman."

"Yeah, neither of those styles are great for ring matches, but at the end there I got a little…desperate." I shrugged. "They come in handy when I get pinned down by my bigger opponents which is pretty much everyone I fight, and I use them a lot when I get attacked outside of the ring. Boss liked the matches to last longer so I just stuck to mostly kickboxing."

Coulson glanced over at me when he stopped at a light, "When did you learn kickboxing?"

I had to think for a minute. Kickboxing had started literally months before Dad bailed on me and Aubrey. It was why I had thrown myself into it so damn hard. I was starting to see a trend, "Twelve? Ish. I worked in a real gym with real sparring matches until I was fourteen."

"What happened at fourteen?"

Aubrey had left. She had turned eighteen and I thought our lives were going to change for the better. She could take us out of foster care, we could get jobs, and survive together like we had the past two years in foster homes. Instead, she met a guy, got pregnant, and just left.

Aubrey had her own new life and it didn't involve me apparently.

I could still remember the night she said goodbye. I could remember sobbing in my shitty foster home room completely alone for the first time in my life. Before then, even after Mom died and Dad left, I still had Aubrey. I had my big sister and I gave her everything. I never let the world touch her. Bullies, trauma, shitty foster parents… I protected fragile Aubrey with every part of me, and what I got for it was just moreabandonment. It was in that moment, crying hysterically until my chest hurt and the foster parents had to come upstairs to bitch at me to stop wailing, that I started to think maybe the problem was me. Dad left, Aubrey left, I got kicked out of foster home after foster home. The only consistent factor in every situation was me. That had to mean something.

"Aj?"

I snapped my gaze to Coulson and realized I had heard his question but hadn't said anything out loud. Quickly, I cleared my throat, "Sorry. Um, fourteen was when I started fighting in rings. There was a small one outside my town and I'd go there to fight. It's where I learned the rest of what I know. Nothing like a 'no rules' underground fight to teach you the real deal."

Coulson nodded in agreement, "You're not wrong. Did you fight for money?"

"Yeah." I lied easily. The money hadn't mattered to me. There was nothing I wanted that it could buy. I had been an angry fourteen-year-old, bitter at the world, and all I wanted was to pound my fist into something until my mind was empty. Nothing distracted from emotional pain quite like physical pain did. "Then of course I aged out of the system, came up here for college, and after college I started fighting for Boss. There was a…trial period where I had to pick up new tricks. The fighters here are much better than the ones where I came from." The learning curve had cost me a lot of blood. "But it only made me stronger or whatever that party line is."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." Coulson said sincerely.

I glanced over at him to see a sadness in his eyes and I quickly shook my head trying to lighten the mood. I didn't need a guy I barely knew pitying me, "Nat told me she was gonna start sparring with me in the gym after she gets back from the mission she's on right now. I'm excited."

"You're excited?" Coulson pressed. "That's not how most people who go up against her feel."

"She's the best I know, right now." I shrugged. "The only way to be the best is to get your ass kicked by the best.

"Again", Coulson chuckled, "Not a common belief."

I shifted in my seat and turned to him, "Tell me about you. I wanna hear more about this shivving. As long as talking about it isn't too traumatic for you, that is."

Coulson shook his head with a smile, "His name was Loki and apparently he's the god of mischief or something along those lines…"

The room around him was busy. The baristas behind the counter rushed about trying to fill as many coffee orders as they could, shouting to one another so none of them collided. Every table in the tiny, family owned shop was filled. A family to his left was talking about their next vacation. A man two tables away briskly argued through his phone while typing on his computer. To his right, a couple leaned over their drinks to whisper loving words to one another, the world around them nothing but background noise. Then even closer, a man sitting at the table in front of him flipped through a magazine casually.

Sitting here quietly, slowly taking sips from the drink in front of him, made Bucky feel normal. He had on a jacket he had stolen from a clothesline and one black glove so his metal arm was fully covered. Bucky also had grabbed a plain baseball cap to wear on his head just because it made him feel a little better. A little more incognito.

Right now, he was in Alexandria, Romania. The larger city made it easier for him to blend in, but it wasn't so large that he'd have to worry about eyes on him. Bucky brought the coffee to his lips and closed his eyes and let the Romanian conversations wash over him. He took in a steadying breath and felt momentarily at peace. He was just a normal man having coffee before he got his day started.

A month had passed since he almost bumped into Steve. He wasn't ready for that kind of meeting yet. Bucky wasn't sure he'd ever be ready. To look into his best friend's and see distrust would hurt. To look into Steve's eyes and see forgiveness would feel even worse. Bucky had 70 years of sins to atone for and he wasn't sure anything could make up for all the poison he brought into the world. All the lives he had taken. His hand tightened around the mug and he forced himself to stop before he accidentally broke it.

The man at the table in front of him answered his phone then stood up from the table. Bucky watched as he gathered his items and began to leave. Right before he passed, Bucky's eyes landed on a familiar face on the magazine.

"Wait." Bucky said in Romanian, reaching out with his gloved hand to stop the man. He curiously looked down on Bucky. "Are you done with that magazine?"

"Yes. Help yourself." He shrugged and left the magazine in Bucky's hand before leaving.

Bucky set it down onto the table, sitting up in his seat, and just stared. Right there in the corner of the front cover was Tony Stark. That was hardly news. The man was nearly always on some kind of magazine or newspaper. What caught Bucky's eye was the face pasted beside him. He knew those burning blue eyes and that fearless grin.

He flipped open to the page where the article was and was greeted by a much larger picture. The article was talking about how the two lovers had been spotted strolling down the street running errands together. Bucky felt uncomfortable reading about it and rubbed the back of his neck. It was stupid to feel uncomfortable. Why wouldn't Stark want to be with her? The dame was a catch. He wondered if Tony was as much of a ladies' man as Howard—

Bucky ended that line of thought before his mind could fall down that rabbit hole.

He sucked in a sharp breath and focused on the picture. Bucky didn't want to think about Tony or Tony's family or anything currently taking residence in his mind. So… he focused on the details. Aj looked good. She looked healthy. The last time he saw her she looked so broken and sad. He could still hear her pleading to come with him and it made his chest ache with betrayal. He had no choice though. He had to leave her.

Her hair was a little longer than he remembered, and she had bangs. Aj was mid-step beside Tony, grinning and pointing at him without looking in the billionaire's direction. Bucky hadn't been entirely sure what she looked like. He knew she felt pretty. The way she made him feel and laugh, the way she so easily distracted him from the skeletons haunting his mind. She felt like the greatest damn dame he had ever met. Bucky hadn't been sure he could feel normal again, but her wide blue eyes looking at him like a real person, like he was a hero, God, it gave him hope. It may have been false hope, but the feeling of it felt good all the same.

Still, despite all that, he hadn't actually seen her. Aj's face had been busted and swollen. Her skin marred with dried blood and bruises. Seeing her now? It shocked him. Bucky probably wouldn't have even recognized her if it hadn't been for those eyes. Aj was pretty, beautiful even, and Bucky felt guilty thinking that. He didn't deserve that line of thought and tried to shove it to the back of his head. She was with Tony. It left a bitter taste in his mouth, but it made it easier to push his own thoughts away.

She had on light colored jeans that were cuffed up a bit at the ankles so they didn't touch her gray boots. A black shirt was tucked into the jeans and the forest green jacket—Bucky felt his heart stutter in his chest. He recognized that canvas jacket. It used to belong to him. There were no splotches of blood on it anymore, but it was the same jacket. He could tell because just like before, when she wore her 'Captain America get-up' as she so lovingly called it, the jacket engulfed her entirely.

Bucky felt his lips twitch up in a smile.

A woman came by asking if he was done with his glass, breaking his train of thought. He nodded, thanked her, and then she left as quickly as she had come. Bucky glanced back down at the magazine and quickly shut it. He rose to his feet, ready to leave, but hesitated. A part of him wanted to take the magazine with him. Tuck those good feelings into his back pocket.

Bucky shook his head and turned to leave the small coffee shop, the magazine resting on the table for the next person to come by and see it. He had known the Avengers would take care of her. Bucky knew that Steve would look after her. A whisper of doubt in the back of his mind had always nagged him though. What if he hadn't been quick enough? What if the pneumonia had progressed too far? What if her skull fracture had been much worse than they both guessed? Fear that he had played a hand in her death by not acting swiftly enough gnawed at him, but now it was gone. Aj was safe. Aj was healthy. Aj was happy.

Now that he knew that officially, he could let her go.

The address took us to a house rather than an apartment. It wasn't anything fancy and was an older house based on the build, but it was a home. There was a small garden against the house with lawn ornaments. A sprinkler in the lawn and a white rocking chair on the porch. The mat in front of the door read 'Hello!' in a cursive font and the wreath on the door was already Christmas themed. I just stood on the porch for a second taking it in. Places like this were filled with so much love. It reminded me of my own childhood home. How Mom could make that 2-bedroom, tiny thing feel like a castle.

Coulson was sitting in his car waiting on the curb and was probably wondering why I was just standing here in the cold like an idiot. I sucked in a sharp breath and knocked on the door a few times. A song-like voice called back, muffled by the door, but a few seconds later a familiar face greeted me.

It was Hammer Head.

But it also wasn't.

It was Hammer Head's features, but she looked softer. A little more weight around her face and eyes that hadn't been hardened by the ring. Her dark hair was curled around her pretty face and she wore an apron over her clothes.

"Hello?" She questioned.

I shook my head, "Sorry, I just—" Hammer Head hadn't mentioned her sister had been her twin. "I'm a friend of…your sister."

"You know Angela?" Amber Morgan asked. I nodded and her smile brightened, "I'm Amber! Why don't you come in? You must be freezing out there." She pulled me into her house and the warm smell of cookies knocked the chill off me. "Have a seat! Do you want anything to drink?"

"Oh, um, I'm ok. Thank you." I smiled and sat down on the older couch.

Amber nodded, "I'm pulling some cookies out of the oven. Give me a minute?"

"Of course." I said quickly and Amber disappeared behind a wall. The home was as cute inside as I figured it'd be. Family pictures hung on the wall and little things like vases of flowers or knick knacks sat on surfaces around me.

After a few minutes, Amber came back without her apron and with a plate of warm cookies. She set it down on the coffee table in front of me and then sat in the smaller couch on the other side of the table. She offered me a warm smile, "I never caught your name."

"Oh, I'm Aj." I greeted with a small wave. "Sorry for just barging in like this."

"Nonsense." Amber waved off my apology, "I don't get to meet many of Angela's friends. What strip club did you meet her in?"

I blinked in shock before slowly shaking my head, "Oh? Oh! No, I'm not a stripper." She apologized to me this time and I laughed. "No, it's fine! I don't have the temperament for a job like that. Um, I actually know Angela from her… other job?"

I wondered if Amber even knew what her sister did, but after a second I watched as this warm woman stiffened with wide eyes. Fear replaced the welcoming and I felt so guilty for causing that kind of reaction in her own home.

"Please, I mean you no harm, I swear." I held my hands out in surrender. "The fighting ring was disbanded actually, and Angela asked me to come by and check on you guys."

"Oh." Amber's shoulders relaxed some, but not all the way. "I haven't heard from Angela in a while actually. Sometimes she disappears though so I just thought…Is she alright?"

I nodded, "She's fine. Just looking for new work."

"Can I ask why she asked you to check up on us?" Amber questioned.

I dug down into my purse and pulled out the envelope, "I told her I'd give you this."

Angela took the thick envelope and her eyes widened when she opened it, "Oh my goodness." It was really hilarious to me to see Hammer Head's face saying 'Oh my goodness' but I bit back a laugh. "This is…She never sends this much. How?"

I could see the worry in her eyes, and I shook my head, "She isn't doing anything bad or dangerous—er, well any more than her usual at least. The money is from me."

"Wh—What?" Amber's eyes widened. "No, I can't accept this."

She tried to shove the envelope back to me, but I refused to take it back, "That's actually just the first payment. I plan on sending y'all money every month, but I figured it'd be weird if I didn't come and meet you the first time."

"Send more?" She gasped. "This is way too much."

"Ham—um, Angela loves you guys. She loves her niece more than the world. That was one thing I could count on when we were in the ring. She'd have a mean left hook waiting for me and a new story about how proud she was of her baby niece." I said softly and Amber's eyes began to tear up. "I made some mistakes, but she was there in some of my darkest moments and…now that I'm in a good place, I just wanna repay that favor. I hope that's enough for her school and more."

Amber covered her mouth for a moment before nodding, "It's more than enough."

Now I understood why Tony threw money at people. This felt good. Taking care of someone who so obviously deserved it and more. I had never been a big fan of money. I could see what it could do to people. The greed and violence it dragged out of humans made them monstrous, but Tony had found a way to rise above that. I had worried about what I would do with the money I got from my new job as his PA. He paid me way too much. I liked this though. Spending the money on others. I really liked this.

"I plan on sending $2500 a month, but if you ever need more please tell me." I said.

"This really is—"

"It isn't." I shook my head with a smile. "And I'm happy to give it. The money is doing no good sitting in my bank account and I'm not really a very big spender."

Amber set the cash down and hurried around the table I stood just in time for her to wrap me up in a hug. I forced my body to relax and returned the hug with a small smile. She pulled away after a moment and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Brandon just left for work. I wish he would've been here, I want him to meet you." Amber pressed.

I chuckled, "It's fine. Maybe next time."

"Yes, please." She said firmly and grabbed my hand. "You need to come over for dinner sometime. It isn't much, but I want to repay you somehow."

"Food is my absolute favorite thing so I promise you it's more than enough." I replied. She pulled me into another tight hug again surprising me, "Oh, ok. More hugs. You are not like your sister at all, you know?"

Amber laughed and pulled away, "We get that a lot. Angela's always been stronger than me. She's taken care of me my whole life. She doesn't come around often anymore, I think she's ashamed, but if you see her can you tell her I love her? And that I don't care about anything? I just want her to come home."

Her words felt like an arrow through my heart. This was what sisters were supposed to be like right? I gave her a tight smile and nodded, "Yeah. I will."

"You should meet Michelle while you're here." Amber turned and called out, "Michelle?" She was greeted by silence and shook her head. "She's probably still asleep. The kids have today off from school since it's a teachers' work day, let me go wake her—"

"Don't, it's fine." I reassured her. "I'll just meet her when I come over for dinner sometime, huh?"

Amber and I exchanged numbers and then she filled two things of Tupperware with her homemade cookies which I was sure the Avengers were going to absolutely demolish. Then she even gave me one of her coats. I fought her on that one saying I had plenty of coats at home, but she hit me back with the 'you can return it next time we see you' and I had to relent. I said another round of good-byes and left out the front door as she began to call her husband.

"So, you know my aunt?"

I glanced to the right where the rocking chair was now occupied by a kid. She was an older kid, probably fifteen at the most, and her thick wavy, light brown hair was pulled back into a low, messy bun. It was funny. Amber had the exact same features as Hammer Head, but I couldn't see a single aspect of my friend in her face. This girl on the other hand... She had one leg resting on the chair and the other stretched out to the banner in front of her, a notebook open in her lap. A bored look of nonchalance on her face and a curiously raised eyebrow. God, she reminded me of Hammer Head.

"Yeah, I do." I nodded. "She talks about you all the time, kid."

Michelle, if I remembered her name right, nodded, "I haven't see her in a long time."

I sighed, "She's…busy these days, but she does love you. Don't forget that, ok? I think she'd kick my ass if I didn't tell you that." My eyes widened. "Shit, I shouldn't curse in front of you. I mean, dam—dang nabbit."

"Dang-nabbit?" The girl smirked and again I was reminded of my friend.

I chuckled, "Hey, that's a common saying where I'm from, thanks."

"What's your name?"

"Aj." I gave her a smile. She laughed at that and I tilted my head, "What's so funny?"

"My name is Mj." She replied. I chuckled with her on that. Her name was Michelle, but she went by Mj the same way my name was Aimee, but I went by Aj. She motioned to the road, "Your friend looks really distressed about something."

I glanced over at Lola to see Coulson talking on the phone with a frown then slowly looked back to her, "Yeah, he's got a high stress job." I moved toward the porch steps not wanting him to wait much longer but turned to point at her. "Hey, stay in school and make good grades or whatever. I'm involved in your education now and since your aunt isn't here to watch you I'm filling in. I will come back to annoy you, and I can be veryannoying."

Mj smirked, "Yeah, yeah, thanks, Aj."

I gave the kid a wink before hurrying toward the car. Coulson glanced my way, gave me a tight-lipped smile, and then as I slid into the car he hung up his phone. I gave him a once over, "You good, man? My new friend Mj said you looked distressed."

"The kid?" Coulson pulled away from the house, "Yeah, I thought I saw her drawing me. You finish your errand?"

"Yupp." I popped my lips and then smiled to myself. This hardly made up for the shit I've done in my life, but it was a very good start in my own, humble opinion.

It didn't take super long for Coulson to get me back to the Tower and the entire way we made small talk about random things. He asked me a few more questions about myself, I was realizing that it was just in an agent's nature to be nosy, and I asked him to give me an embarrassing story about Clint to use against him. Coulson obliged and told me about a mission in Sicily where his pajama pants got snagged onto something mid-fight and were ripped clean off. Those bad guys then had the pleasure of fighting a bare ass naked Hawkeye since they had caught him right before he was about to go to bed. When Coulson arrived on scene as back-up he was greeted by a grinning Natasha and pouting Clint with a towel wrapped around his waist.

I tucked that story away about my disaster of a human being friend and swore I'd put it to good use one day. After saying goodbye to Coulson and apologizing again for cancelling his meeting, I climbed out of the car and hurried toward the tower. The jacket Amber had given me was nice, but it didn't block the cold very well. Plus, it didn't help that my bare legs were exposed. Maybe I should start wearing the stockings Natasha bought me.

In my hurry to get inside, my left side heel got caught in something and snapped off the shoe sending me concrete floor with a dignified 'oof'. "Motherfu…" I mumbled under my breath then glared at the broken heel. Nothing good came from these freaking high heels. The moment I got back inside I was going to ask Tony to incinerate them via Iron Man repulsor.

With a huff, I shifted and brought my legs under me careful that I didn't flash anyone out here with my dress. My right knee was scuffed up and the left was bleeding a little. While I mentally groaned in annoyance, I felt someone walk over to me. I glanced up to see two familiar women. I didn't know their names, but I knew they worked somewhere in the Tower as receptionists. Sometimes, I'd run past them in the halls, but I hadn't stopped to introduce myself. To be honest, they looked kind of bitchy. The brunette had a face that looked permanently pinched in displeasure and her Asian friend never seemed to smile.

That was rude of me though.

I shouldn't judge by the cover.

"Did whatever hole you crawled out of not teach you to walk in heels?"

Ok, maybe my judging was spot on.

The brunette was smirking at me while the other woman snickered in amusement. Huh, I guess she did smile. It was just at other people's misery. She turned to the brunette with a smirk, "Maybe she is sleeping with Mr. Stark. There's no way she's actually qualified for her job."

I scooped up my purse filled with cookies and then stood up with determination. My intimidation factor was cut down a little since I was standing lopsided with one good heel and one broken one. This wasn't the first time I dealt with assholes like them, but it was shocking that I had to deal with it here. I mean, Jesus, they were smirking at me like the cliché mean girls of a teen rom-com. With narrowed eyes, I opened my mouth to retaliate but instead I felt someone suddenly wrap an around my waist helping me stand stable.

"Trisha, Ashely." Natasha greeted with a sickening, sweet smile, "It's so nice to see you girls! After that obviously botched nose job, Trish, I never thought you'd show your face in public again. That's so brave of you." The brunette lifted her hand to cover her nose with a bright red blush. Natasha dragged her sharp eyes to the other woman, "And Ashely, I heard about your breakup with Brian from HR, how you cheated on him with his brother. Honestly, I'm sure it was all Brian's fault with how busy he keeps himself volunteering at the Children's hospital. You deserved better, right?"

I blinked in shock as both girls mumbled a response before hurrying off. Natasha had sent them packing without even a bat of her eyes. I looked to her in awe, "You're a goddess." The redhead chuckled and grabbed the heel of my broken shoe. I stepped out of both shoes so I could just walk barefoot. "Thanks, Nat. You really didn't have to."

"Of course I did." Natasha shrugged then raised an eyebrow mockingly, "What are big sisters for?"

I felt my breath catch in my throat. She was joking. I knew she was. Clint was my weirdo adopted father based on animal adoption paperwork, but I wasn't the first person he adopted. Natasha had been. So, I knew that with those words she was just kidding around with me, but hearing it after what she just did for me felt very differently. Natasha walked me inside talking about how the mission ended early because Clint got the date wrong and while she said her full story I could only stare at her in awe.

Is that what having an older sister was like? Even when Aubrey was around and our relationship was good, it was always me who had to play the older sister. I took care of her and when bullies rolled up to our doors it was me who batted them away with words and fists. Hell, I couldn't even count how many fights I had gotten into because someone had been teasing Aubrey about something or another, but those were our roles. I didn't get protected, I was the protector.

"Aj?" Natasha asked and my mind focused back on her. We were standing in the elevator, "I asked if you wanted to do a little sparring with me tonight?"

I would not cry in this elevator in front of Natasha.

I would not cry in this elevator in front of Natasha.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and gave her a broad smile, "I'd really, really like that, Nat."