(cass)

CHAPTER 20

THE QUEEN'S FAMILY STAYED A few days, and the visitors from Swendway an entire week. They did a segment on the Report discussing international relations and movements toward more peace for both nations.

There were now twenty-two girls here after Camille, Mikaela, and Laila had been sent home. Camille and Laila were simply incompatible and left with very little fanfare. Mikaela got so homesick she burst into heaving sobs during breakfast two days later. Maxon escorted her from the room, patting her shoulder the whole way. He seemed fine with letting them go, and was happy to focus on his other prospects.

It was now a month into my stay at the palace, and I was completely at home. My body was comfortable in the new climate. The warmth of the palace was heavenly, like a holiday. September was almost over, and it got very cool in the evenings, but it was much warmer than home. The sights of this giant space were no longer a mystery. The sounds of heeled shoes on marble, crystal glasses clinking, guards marching—they were starting to become as normal as the refrigerator humming or Gerad kicking a soccer ball up against the house.

Meals with the royal family and times in the Women's Room were staples in my routine, but the middle moments of my days were always new. I spent a lot of time working on music; the instruments at the palace were far superior to the ones I had at home. I had to admit, they were making me spoiled. The quality of the sound was unimaginably better. And the Women's Room had gotten a little more exciting, as the queen had shown up at least twice now. She hadn't really spoken to anyone yet, but she sat in a comfortable chair with her maids at her side, watching as we read or conversed.

In general, the animosity had settled as well. We were getting used to one another. We finally found out the magazine's top picks for our photographs. I was shocked to see I was one of the front-runners. Marlee was in the top spot, with Kriss, Tallulah, and Bariel close behind. Celeste didn't talk to Bariel for days upon hearing this, but eventually everyone let it pass.

What still seemed to bring the most tension were the bits of information tossed around. Whoever had been with Maxon recently couldn't help but gush about their little interlude. The way everyone spoke, it seemed as if Maxon was going to be choosing six or seven wives. But not everyone was shining in this experience.

For instance, Marlee had more than a few dates with Maxon, which put everyone on edge. Still, she never came across as excited as she had after their very first one.

"America, if I tell you this, you have to swear not to tell a soul," she said as we walked in the garden. I knew it was something serious. She'd waited until we got away from the listening ears in the Women's Room and far beyond the eyes of the guards.

"Of course, Marlee. Are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I just… I need your opinion on something." Her face was heavy with worry.

"What's wrong?"

She bit her lip. "It's Maxon. I'm not sure it's going to work out." She looked down.

"What makes you think that?" I asked, concerned.

"Well, for starters, I don't… I don't feel anything, you know? No spark, no connection."

"Maxon can be a little shy is all. You have to give him time." This was true. I was surprised she didn't know that about him.

"No, I mean, I don't think I like him."

"Oh." That was something very different. "Have you tried?" What a stupid question.

"Yes! So hard! I keep waiting for a moment to come when he'll say or do something to make me feel like we have something in common, but it never happens. I think he's handsome, but that's not enough to build a whole relationship on. I don't even know if he's attracted to me. Do you have any idea what kind of things he, you know, likes?"

I thought about it. "No, actually. We've never talked about what he's looking for in the physical department."

"And that's another thing! We never talk. He talks on and on to you, but we never seem to have anything to say. We spend a lot of our time quietly watching something or playing cards."

She looked more worried by the minute.

"Sometimes we're quiet together, too. Sometimes we just sit and say nothing. Besides, feelings like that don't always happen overnight. Maybe you're both just taking it slow." I tried to sound reassuring—Marlee looked like she was on the verge of tears.

"Honestly, America, I think the only reason I'm still here is because the people like me so much. I think their opinions matter to him."

That thought hadn't occurred to me, but it sounded plausible. Long ago, I'd dismissed their opinion, but Maxon loved his people. They'd have more of a hand in choosing the next princess than they would know.

"And besides," she whispered, "everything between us feels so … empty."

Then the tears came.

I sighed and hugged her. Truthfully, I wanted her to stay, to be here with me, but if she didn't love Maxon…

"Marlee, if you don't want to be with Maxon, I think you need to tell him."

"Oh, no, I don't think I can."

"You have to. He doesn't want to marry someone who doesn't love him. If you don't have any feelings for him, he needs to know."

She shook her head. "I can't just ask to leave! I need to stay. I couldn't go home … not now."

"Why, Marlee? What's keeping you here?"

For a moment, I wondered if Marlee and I shared the same dark secret. Maybe there was someone she needed distance from, too. The only difference in our situations was that Maxon knew about mine. I wanted her to say it! I wanted to know I wasn't the only one who'd ended up here out of some ridiculous circumstances.

But Marlee's tears stopped almost as quickly as they started. She sniffed a few times and straightened up. She smoothed out her day dress, squared her shoulders, and turned to face me. She pulled a strong, warm smile to her face and spoke.

"You know what? I bet you're right." She started to back away. "I'm sure if I just give it some time, it'll all work out. I have to go. Tiny's expecting me."

Marlee half ran back to the palace. What in the world had come over her?

The next day, Marlee avoided me. The day after that, too. I made a point of sitting in the Women's Room at a safe distance and making sure to acknowledge her whenever we crossed paths. I wanted her to know that she could trust me; I wouldn't make her talk.

It took four days for her to give me a sad, knowing smile. I just nodded. It seemed that would be all there was to say about whatever was going on in Marlee's heart.

(edit)

That same day, while I was sitting in the Women's Room, Maxon called for me. It would be a lie to say I wasn't absolutely giddy. The girls were great, but with Marlee not talking to me I couldn't wait to talk to a real friend. I ran out the door and gave Mazon a hug bear hug.

"Maxon!" I breathed, falling into him and he hugged me back laughing a bit.

"How are you today?" he asked, stepping back.

"Perfect, of course. What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be working?"

"The president of the Infrastructure Committee is sick, so the meeting was postponed. I'm free as a bird all afternoon." His eyes were gleaming. "What do you want to do?" he asked, holding his arm out for me.

"Anything! There's so much of the palace I still haven't seen. There are horses here, right? And the movie theater. We still haven't gone there."

"Let's do that. I could use something relaxing. What kinds of movies do you like best?" he asked as we started walking toward where I guessed the stairwell to the basement was.

"Honestly, I don't know. I don't get to watch a lot of movies. But I like romantic books. And comedies, too!"

"Romance, you say?" He raised his eyebrows like he couldn't believe I had a romantic side. I had to laugh.

We turned a corner and continued to talk. As we approached, a mass of the palace guard pulled to the side of the hall and saluted. There had to be more than a dozen men standing in the hallway. I was used to them by now. Even the sight of a collection that big couldn't distract me from the fun time I was about to have with Maxon.

What did stop me was when I heard the gasp that escaped someone's mouth as we passed. Maxon and I both turned.

And there was Aspen.

I gasped, too.

A few weeks ago, I'd heard some administrator in the palace talk about the draft in passing. I had wondered about Aspen, but seeing as I was running late to one of Silvia's many lessons, I didn't really have a chance to speculate much.

So he'd been taken by the draft after all. Of all the places he could have gone…

Maxon caught on. "America, do you know this young man?"

It had been more than a month since I'd seen Aspen, but this was the person I'd spent years committing to memory, the person who still visited my dreams. I would know him anywhere. He looked a little bigger, like he'd been fed, really fed, and was working out a lot. His scraggly hair had been cut short, practically all gone. And I was used to seeing him in secondhand clothes that were barely being held together by threads, and here he was in one of the brilliant, fitted uniforms of the palace guard.

He was alien and familiar at once. So many of the things around him seemed wrong. But those eyes … those were Aspen's eyes.

My eyes fell to the name tag on his uniform: OFFICER LEGER.

I doubted a second had passed.

I kept myself composed enough that no one saw the storm raging inside—a miracle in and of itself. I wanted to touch him, kiss him, scream at him, demand he leave my sanctuary. I wanted to melt away and disappear, but I felt so very here.

None of it made sense.

No doubt Aspen would have heard us laughing as we rounded the corner, would have noted that my arm was still draped on the prince's. Let him make of that what he would.

I cleared my throat. "Yes. Officer Leger comes from Carolina. He's actually grew up around the corner from me and our families were friends." I smiled at Maxon but in my eyes I begged him to catch on.

Maxon either didn't catch on or didn't care as he added, "Excellent. Since America is from your home province, I can't think of a better man in the palace to leave her with. I'll make sure you're put on her guard rotation. This girl of yours refuses to keep a maid in her room at night. I've tried to tell her..." Maxon shook his head at me.

Aspen finally seemed to relax a bit. "I'm not surprised by that, Your Majesty."

Maxon smiled. "Well, I'm sure you all have a busy day ahead of you. We'll just be off. Good day, officers." Maxon gave a quick nod and pulled me away.

It took all the strength in my body not to look back.

"Was that him?" Maxon whispered when we were out of ear shot.

"Who?" I asked playing dumb.

"Your ex of course."

"That depends, will you kill him?"

"America….."

"Seriously I don't want you to cause him any bodily harm or get him in trouble or anything….wait if you knew why did you put him on my rotation?!" I asked, shocked at the turn of events.

"Well knowing you it would drive you crazy not to be able to talk to him. Now you can, just please be discrete. If you're caught there is not much I can do."

I hit him lightly on the shoulder, "Maxon Scheve you are no good. I have no idea what to say to him!"

"Ah you'll think of something, and if he hurts you or you don't want him near you let me know and I'll switch the guard rotation and/or give him a bloody eye."

"Maxon! What did I say about bodily harm!?" I laughed at him.

Laughing with me he replied, "All jokes...well mostly jokes, but I promise I won't as long as it remains against your wishes."

"Ah yes the mark of a true friend."

In the dark of the theater, I tried to figure out what to do. I had thought often of what I would say to Aspen if I ever saw him again, but none of that seems right now that I really will. Because as mad as I was, I loved Aspen.

Maxon turned to me and seemed to notice the worry on my face, "A comedy it is then, hopefully it'll calm the nerves." I smiled lightly and against the turning of my stomach.

Then should I ask to leave? The ambivalence pulled at my heart. I could escape Aspen, get away from his face—a face that would torture me every day when I saw it and knew it was no longer mine. But if I left, I'd have to leave Maxon, too. And Maxon was my closest friend. I couldn't just go. He deserves better than a friend who flees at the first sign of trouble.

And my family. Maybe the checks they got were smaller, but at least they were getting them. May had written saying that Dad was promising our best Christmas ever this year, but I was sure that came with the stipulation that another Christmas might never be as good. If I left, who could say how much money my past fame would bring for my family? We had to save up as much as we could now.

Throughout the movie Maxon would poke me a bit and try to get me to not fall too far into the deep stewing feeling that was my thoughts. He seemed to say something I didn't register than he tapped me, "You really worried?" Maxon asked nearly two hours later.

I just kept looking at my feet as we walked out. Time only made my nerves grow stronger.

"Is it cause you want to leave now and don't know how to tell me?"

"NO! No." I replied quickly.

"Because if you did I wouldn't blame you, a large part of you wanting to be here was to avoid him…"

"Maxon, I want to stay, truly." I smiled at him. But I'm sorry you wasted your afternoon. I wasn't exactly the best company."

"Nonsense." Maxon waved away my lackluster attitude. "I just enjoy just being with My America. Besides what kind of friend would I be if I was only here for the good. I wish I could stay longer."

"Maxon, you've already done so much."