New Memories: A Bartowski Christmas
By Steampunk . Chuckster
A/N: Hi, I'm exhausted. Can it be Christmas yet? Can it be 2021 yet? Can any and all of this be over yet? Please stay safe this week and don't celebrate with anyone outside of your household. I'm honestly BEGGING YOU. This is just one day I'm asking you to stay home, don't invite anyone over. Use Facetime or Zoom or something. Seriously. Please. This holiday isn't more important than your life, and it's especially not more important than someone else's life.
Here's part 9.
Disclaimer: I don't own the show and I'm not making money.
"So, in hindsight, maybe going to the beach two days before Christmas was a silly idea." Chuck shot his wife a sheepish look as he held her hand tightly in his.
He made a reservation at The Little Door, one of the swaggiest restaurants in Los Angeles, with an intimate French setting, candles everywhere, decadent food, and best of all, the wait staff left them alone for the most part. Which meant Chuck and Sarah had a corner all to themselves.
And Sarah had really gone on all out with an elegant, long navy blue gown and strappy black heels, with her hair in an intricate updo. She'd been appropriately excited about their date and even prepared for the date in the guest room so that when she finally stepped out to the living room where he was waiting for her to finish, his legs turned to jelly and he nearly slumped to the ground in a heap. She broke him. Destroyed his brain. He was incapable of speech for a good two and a half minutes.
He also received confirmation that Sarah still loved him in a three-piece suit. It was tough getting her out of the door, she was so fixated on rubbing her fingers down his crimson red tie. But they did it, and of course arrived at The Little Door in Sarah's Lotus in pristine style.
Being wealthy had never been anything Chuck saw fit to flaunt except to his clients. A wealthy contract spy business was a successful contract spy business, so Chuck and Sarah tended to try to show their wealth in those situations. But other than that, it felt ostentatious and out of his character. He'd worked at the Buy More for most of his adult life, for God's sake.
But tonight, being in an expensive, sexy, sleek sports car driven by his incomprehensibly sexy, tall, leggy ex-spy wife while he wore an expensive suit with expensive shoes, dining at a pricey restaurant where celebrities tended to frequent…God, it just felt so good.
They had multiple courses, shared a bottle of champagne, sat around for an hour or two leaning close over the table and talking in dulcet tones that no one else could hear, waiting for the champagne buzz to wear a little, eating rich, creamy dessert, and eventually they paid the exorbitant bill and walked out into the night.
The air had been cold, but not quite that bad. And Chuck had been eager to drag the date on. For Chuck and Sarah, a night out usually meant dinner and/or a movie, and then back home where they would cuddle on the couch for a while or immediately jump into bed together to make love. But tonight, something had just felt so wonderful…magical…about being out on the town with his wife. And he didn't want it to end.
So he led her to the car and made her get in the passenger seat. Then he asked her if he could take her someplace special. She'd given him a popped eyebrow and a curious smile, but he'd seen excitement in her blue eyes as she nodded.
Now here they were, their shoes (and, in Chuck's case, socks) in hand, standing in the cool sand on the beach in Malibu where they'd watched the sun rise on their first date. It really was gorgeous, standing here with the stars out, the sound of the waves. The frigid breeze wasn't all that nice, but there was an extra blanket in Sarah's backseat and it was now wrapped tightly around her.
She turned to him and shook her head. "I think it was a pretty good idea. I mean, it's a bit cold."
"Yeah, just a bit. You want to go back home where we can turn up the heater and have hot coffee?"
Sarah was quiet for a moment. And then she let go of his hand, dropped her shoes at her feet, opened her arms with the blanket and wrapped him up in both, pushing herself up on her tip toes so that she could press her face against his collar bone. It made a shiver go through him, the cold of her cheek seeping through the button-up he wore, but he didn't budge. Nor would he.
He grinned wildly and hugged her closer, kissing the top of her head. "Is that a yes or a no?"
She shook her head. "No," she murmured into his tie. "I don't wanna break the spell."
"So I'm not alone in thinking things feel exceptionally good tonight, huh?"
Sarah peeked up at him and tossed her head a little to get a blond lock out of her eyes. "I don't know what it is, but everything seems to have a special glow. All night. The restaurant, the candles, the food, the streets on the drive over here, the ocean…us."
"I feel pretty glowy. This is true."
She giggled. "I don't want to go home yet, Chuck. Even if it is cold out here."
"Then let's stay here 'til we can't feel our toes anymore." He wiggled his toes in the sand and moved so that they were blanketing hers. She squeaked and laughed but stayed where she was.
And as they stood in silence, Chuck found his mind wandering. Because the last time he was here was on that day when he thought he was never going to see his wife again. He'd watched her walk out of Castle, up those stairs, and out of his life, taking his heart and his soul and his happiness with her. I don't feel it. He'd understood and yet it had felt like he'd been punched in the chest.
When he found her on their beach a few hours later, he'd fought to keep himself from getting his hopes up. But she had remembered perhaps; remembered the times they had spent on this beach, wrapped up in each other and blankets, watching the sunset or the sunrise. And it left him hopeful. She wouldn't have been there if it hadn't meant something to her. To them.
The last time he had been here was when he told her their story and she asked him to kiss her. It was such a warm conversation and the kiss had been even better. But the magic Morgan had assured them would be there wasn't. And her memories stayed hidden away. And as disappointing as that was, it wasn't entirely a shocker.
She had walked out of his life again that day, but this time with a promise that she would keep in touch. And in her eyes, he'd seen how badly she hoped that would be enough for him. It would never be enough, to hear her voice on the phone, or get a postcard from some far off place, or to get emails here and there. It would never be enough.
But he'd tried to smile and reassure her.
When she drove off he sat in his car for a good two hours, staring straight ahead, numb and hurting all at the same time. It was the worst combination, the numbness and the debilitating ache underneath it.
This time was different. And while her memories hadn't come back, this place held new memories for them. It was a special place where they had reunited somewhat, even if she'd left thereafter for a long enough time that Chuck thought his life with Sarah Bartowski—Sarah Walker—was a thing of the past.
Something equally intense must have been going through her mind at the same time, because her gaze was hazy and unfocused. When he kissed her temple, her eyes flicked up to his, focused again, and she smiled. "Were you remembering the first time we were here together?" she asked. "I mean, my first time. My second first time. The first time I remember."
"Just because you can't remember it, doesn't mean you weren't here those other times." He kissed her head again. "But yeah, I, um, I was remembering that day."
"When you told me about us."
"Mhm."
"And that kiss."
A smile came unbidden to his lips. "Mmmhm."
She giggled. "That was a really good kiss. I guess it was more like a string of kisses, though, wasn't it?"
"Mmhmm."
"Chuck?"
He looked down at her.
"Do you think we can try that magical kiss again?"
Chuck felt his heart break and swell at the same time. That magical kiss had been supposed to give his Sarah her memories back and it hadn't. And he didn't realize until she came back to him a few weeks later that she had wanted it to work just as much as he had.
And he could see in her face that she wanted it now. She wanted those memories back so badly. She wanted to know about the time they'd come here a few days before their wedding and they had ended up in the backseat of her brand new car. Or the time Chuck had been overtaken by a wave and Sarah laughingly covered the passenger seat with towels to keep him from getting her seat sopping wet.
He wanted her to have all of that, too. But if it didn't work this time, a part of him dreaded the look he might see on her face. Would it ruin the spell that had been cast over their night? Would she be disappointed?
But instead of voicing his fears, he leaned down to touch his nose to hers gently. Sarah tilted her face up to softly brush his lips with hers. He pulled back to look down at her with a small smile and lifted his hand to cup her face, diving in to kiss her properly.
They melted together, not minding the way the wind whipped about them, or the goosebumps raising on their skin from the cold.
It seemed to go on for a very long time, hours maybe, even though Chuck knew it was less than a handful of minutes. And finally she pulled back, leaving her forehead against his.
"What's the verdict?" he whispered.
She shook her head so minutely he barely felt it. There was no crushing disappointment wracking through him this time. He didn't fear this would be their last kiss, or that she would leave now and he'd never see her again. There was no sense of loss. No debilitating ache. None of the things he had felt the last time they'd tried the "magical kiss" and it didn't work.
Because with or without those memories, this was Sarah—his Sarah. Nothing would ever change that.
But he was afraid to open his eyes, afraid of what he would see in her face. So instead, he hugged her close and tucked his face into her neck. She shivered a little beneath his lips as they pressed against the spot between her shoulder and neck, and up beneath her jaw, then around to that spot behind her ear. He felt her shiver again and her fingers clenched at his jacket.
Chuck couldn't stop the soft groan of her name that escaped when she gave his lower half a meaningful nudge with her own. He pulled back and pressed his forehead to hers, finally opening his eyes and looking into her deep blue gaze.
If there was any disappointment, it had since been overtaken by something else. Something that caused him to step back from her, grab her hand and tug her back up the beach.
"Wait, wait, wait!" she laughed, pulling him back. "My shoes!"
"Oh!"
They jogged back and she picked up her heels from where she'd dropped them in the sand.
He watched her retrieve them for a moment, but then there were strong hands against his chest and the world turned upside down as he landed in the sand on his back. He heard explosive laughter as her feet kicked up sand while she ran, clutching the blanket and her heels to her breast. "Race you to the car!"
"YOU CHEAT!" He leapt to his feet and scrambled after her, not even standing half a chance at catching her, thanks to her crooked, cheating ways.
When he arrived at the car, she was leaning seductively against the passenger door, biting her lip to keep from laughing. Her eyes were alight in a mixture of mirth and desire and it was all he could do not to close the distance between them and kiss her with everything in him.
"You've got sand all over you. I can't take you anywhere, Charles Irving Bartowski."
He stopped and looked down at himself, glowering and smacking the sand off of his suit as best he could. "You do realize I have to get into your car, right? Your spotless, speckless, beautiful car."
She shrugged her shoulder. "You should have thought of that before."
"Me? I didn't push myself into the sand. That was all you, sweetheart."
"I don't know what you mean."
"Oh, don't you…"
"It's all right. I can just tie you to the roof for the ride home." She giggled when he made an affronted face, and the teasing pretenses were gone.
All joking aside, he actually was careful about not getting the sand in the interior of her car when they crawled into the back seat together.
They took their time in close quarters, their love making a bit awkward and not at all graceful. Hitting their elbows against the front seats, knocking knees against the center console, bumping foreheads and chins, wincing when they landed awkwardly on seatbelt buckles, laughing and sighing. And when it was over, they laid together, their legs tangled, scrunched into the ridiculously small back seat, the blanket draped over their naked bodies.
Chuck drew small circles with the fingers of his left hand on her upper back, looking at the steamed window across from him, slowly catching his breath. "The steamy windows are a nice touch," he murmured.
She giggled into his neck and hummed, shifting a little on his body.
"We should have done the Titanic thing."
Sarah pushed herself up a little to look down at him. "The what now?"
"Have you seen Titanic?"
She rolled her eyes. "Yeah. I may suck at pop culture, but everybody's seen that movie. It's longer than the actual trip the Titanic took, I swear."
Chuck laughed at that, accidentally bonking his head against the arm rest.
"Aww…" She reached up to rub his head affectionately.
"You know the part I mean, though, right?"
Without another word, she reached up over his head and smacked her hand against the window, slowly dragging it down the glass. They burst into laughter and Sarah buried her head in his shoulder. When the chill began to permeate the blanket around them a few minutes later, they decided to get dressed again.
It was the most difficult five minutes Chuck had experienced in a while, both of them stuffed in such a small space, tugging clothes on, Chuck trying to zip Sarah's dress back up with her body at such an awkward angle. Somehow her foot had ended up in his face at one point, and he was elbowed in the ribs. But they finally sat side by side in the backseat, staring straight ahead, incredibly disheveled and sweaty.
Chuck neglected buttoning most of his shirt buttons, and he definitely didn't tuck it into his pants. Sarah regrouped before he did and giggled softly. "It was a lot easier taking it off."
"Yeah." He grinned a little hazily in her general direction, causing her to giggle again, gently patting his cheek before grabbing his tie and slipping it around his neck and fixing his collar over it.
"There. You look a little bit like you were trapped in a clothes dryer. But it's a good look for you." She leaned in and kissed him softly, her fingers working to button his shirt a little more.
Suddenly there was a quick knock on the window and Chuck saw Sarah grab for the knife on her thigh that wasn't there, and instead in the velcro strap on the floor in front of them. Chuck reached over her when a bright light beamed into his face. He recoiled with a grunt, raising his hand up to block his eyes from the flashlight. The knock sounded again.
"We are not about to get arrested for indecent exposure," Sarah muttered, seemingly on the verge of explosive laughter. Chuck reached over her again and rolled the window down.
"Now what exactly is going on here?" the police officer asked, leaning his arms on the door and peering in. Chuck saw Sarah run a hand down the skirt of her dress surreptitiously.
"I fell into the ocean, Officer, sir, and you know what they say about body heat. Didn't want to get hypothermia."
Sarah bit down hard on her cheek in his peripheral, but he kept a straight face as the policeman gave him an unamused look.
"Since you both seem to be dressed, I'm gonna overlook this situation. But just this once. I'm sure if I knocked on this window ten minutes ago, it'd be a different story." He grunted and looked left, then right. "You two best not let me catch you doing this again. For God's sake, get a hotel room."
"We're married," Sarah blurted.
"Mhm. Sure ya are, lady."
She blanched and held up her hand, flashing her wedding ring, then reached over to grab Chuck's hand and flash his ring as well.
"I don't care either way. You two get on home and outta my parking lot. Consider this a warning." He pointed at Chuck first, then at Sarah, backing away and walking back to his car which they apparently hadn't noticed when the cop drove up.
Chuck reached over Sarah to roll up the window again, then folded the seats forward to open the door. He saw Sarah flash a grumpy look over her shoulder in the direction of the police car. The officer had turned on his headlights and maneuvered his car to point straight at the Lotus, as though he was trying to embarrass them or something. It was annoying.
"What a friggin' jerk," she breathed as she got into the passenger seat.
He slid into the driver's seat and snorted. "Honestly, though, who cares? Nobody's even around! It was just us!"
But when they pulled out of the parking lot and started for the main road, Sarah giggled softly. It quickly turned into outright laughter, and soon she was wiping at the tears on her cheeks with her fingertips.
Chuck joined in and they laughed most of the way home.
A/N: Three. Piece. Suit.
That's all. Thanks for reading. Please leave me a review. Thanks!
-SC