Meredith Grey was not a woman who stayed away from work and right now she should have been scrubbing in on a surgery or helping out in the ER. But instead, she was watching paint dry. Or at least it felt that way as she sat on her couch, clutching a pillow between her fingers as the TV blared in front of her.

She had been suspended for a week and she was only a couple days into it. She was already bored out of her mind, wishing she could do her job instead of being stuck at home but she knew everyone was looking for her so she didn't want to complain too much.

She was sitting on the bench, the wind blowing through her hair as she watched the children running all over the playground. Knowing that soon her child would be joining them.

"Meredith!" Callie called out, walking towards Meredith with Sofia in tow. "Okay, Sofia, you go and play while I talk to Meredith." Callie ushered her before taking a seat next to the blonde.

"It's a beautiful day to be outside." Meredith said.

"Yeah," Callie said with a soft smile. "I figured Sofia could play while we talked. How are you?" She asked.

"I'm bored." Meredith said with a slight laugh. She sighed as she continued. "Hate being away from work." She muttered. Callie smiled gently, knowing that this wasn't easy for Meredith.

"I know, but you know we're just looking out for you. I can't even begin to describe what you were like," she paused. "Almost feral-like. Animalistic."

"I know. I knew he was restrained but that little voice in my mind kept saying, 'what if he comes after me?' It's not just me anymore and that's what scares me. Everyday we put ourselves in danger." Meredith said softly.

"It's part of the job, Mer. You think I wasn't scared when I was carrying Sofia? Anything can happen to your baby in an instant and it's the most gut wrenching, helpless feeling."

"I don't know if I can be a mom, Callie." Meredith whispered sadly. "I don't know if the universe thinks I'm cut out for the job."

Callie looked over at Sofia before looking back at Meredith. "I didn't think so either. Yes, I was extremely happy to be having a baby but," she paused. "I was also scared out of my mind. How was I going to protect her? What kind of mother would I be? But then you realize that no matter what, you have to be ready and you also realize that even inside of you, they aren't safe."

Meredith nodded. "Yeah, I've started to realize that."

"The car accident almost killed us both and I thank God every day that it didn't. Being a mother is hard but it's also the best thing I have ever done. She's the best thing that has happened to me and she's my little piece of Mark. Just like this baby is a little piece of Derek." Callie said as she looked at Meredith's slight baby bump.

Meredith sighed. "I just wish he was here to meet his child." She said sadly.

"I wish Mark was here to see his little girl grow up, too, and we both got robbed of that. But we get up every day and try and be the best for our kids. There are no perfect mothers, Meredith, but I know at the end of the day, I'm a lot better than my mother and you will be better than yours."

"I don't know about that, Callie." Meredith sighed. "I've never really thought about children until Derek. Ellis was...she was about as opposite to nurturing as you could get and she gave me her talents but she certainly didn't teach me how to be a good mother."

"My mother abandoned me during my wedding, Meredith. She called her granddaughter a bastard child and said her daughter was no bride just because I was marrying a woman and she hasn't talked to me since. If I have learned anything, it's that I will always support Sofia in any decision she makes in life because that's what a mother does. We're not born knowing how to be mothers, Meredith. We learn as we go and we make mistakes and that's okay. You will make mistakes but at the end of the day your child will still love you."

Meredith wiped at her eyes, gently caressing her stomach. "I just don't want to mess up because the situation is already screwed up."

"You're going to be nothing like your mother, Meredith. Just like I'm nothing like mine. It's gonna be okay."

Meredith gave her a soft smile and out of the corner of her eye, she could see Sofia running over to them.

"Hey, baby girl," Callie smiled as Sofia climbed into her lap. Sofia tilted her head, furrowing her eyebrows as she stared at Meredith's stomach.

"Auntie Mer, did you gain weight?" Sofia asked innocently.

"Sofia!" Callie scolded. Meredith laughed for a moment before answering.

"There's a baby in there, Sofia." Meredith smiled. "You'll have someone to play with in a few months."

"Really?" Sofia asked. She paused for a moment. "How did the baby get in there?"

Meredith and Callie shared a look, not prepared to be having this conversation, especially with a child as young as Sofia.

"Well, honey," Callie started. "Daddies help put the baby inside of mommys."

"But I don't have a daddy," Sofia said sadly.

Callie's heart broke at that comment. She never really talked about Mark with Sofia.

"You do, sweetheart. Remember how we talked about Uncle Derek going to Heaven?" Callie asked.

"Yeah, he's watching over us and Auntie Mer!" Sofia exclaimed.

"That's right. Well, that's where your daddy is. You were too young to remember Daddy but he loved you, Sofia."

"So daddy's help put the baby inside of mommy and then the daddy's die?" Sofia asked.

"Not always, Sofia. Things just happen that we don't always understand. Right now you're too young to understand."

Sofia nodded her head before climbing off of Callie's lap, running towards the slides.

"Well that was interesting." Callie said softly.

"It's hard to comprehend at that age." Meredith paused for a moment. "You're really great with her, Callie."

"I try my best, it hasn't been easy since Mark died and Arizona decided our marriage wasn't worth saving." Callie said sadly.

Everything was quiet for a moment before Meredith spoke. "We're both going to be okay." Meredith said, with a hint of doubt lacing her words. "Right?" She asked.

"Yeah, we will be." Callie spoke softly. "Besides, everyone at the hospital will be there for us if we have any doubts."

Meredith smiled softly. "Yeah."

She watched Sofia play as she caressed her belly again. She couldn't let her mind doubt whether she would be a good mom or not. She was afraid she wouldn't be able to push those thoughts aside and then she would be in trouble.