Author's note: I would like to thank Wolvenstrom for beta reading this chapter for me, I hope you enjoy it
It was Christmas time in Royal Woods and the Lard family were currently out at Royal Woods mall doing their Christmas shopping. The family at this point usually got a gift for every member of their family due to the only one who still believed in Santa at this point was Lily. This year would be Lincoln's first Christmas with his new family, and he wanted to make it as special as he could. He knew he could easily buy gifts for his sister's but he wanted to actually make or get stuff that was entirely unique. He had already gotten gifts for Lucy, Luan, Luna, and Leni, now he just needed to get the finishing touches to complete his gifts for Lisa, Lola, Lana, Lynn, Lori, as well as buy Lily a gift. His first stop was a frame store where he was going to have a picture he made both framed and wrapped. After picking out a decent frame he paid the man and left, knowing that it would take a while. While he waited for his picture to be fitted, he headed towards the arts and crafts store. On his way, he heard someone call his name. turning he smiled as he saw that it was Sid
"Hey Sid, what are you doing here"
"Christmas shopping, you?"
"The same. Christmas shopping must be easy for you seeing as how you only have to shop for 3 people"
"Well mum and dad are easy to shop for, Adelaide though is a whole different story. She likes something one week and then she hates it the next. So what have you gotten so far?"
"I've made a bunch by hand, but I'm still looking. I don't want to just get them 'a gift'. It's my first Christmas with them so I want it to be special y'know?"
"Awe that's sweet, shame I'm not talented to make things" knowing Sid's artistic, crafting, and woodworking skills, she wasn't lying
"Hmm well I know I might sound like a hypocrite after what I just said, but you can never go wrong with a tonne of candy. You said she has a sweet tooth, didn't you?
"…Lincoln, you're a fricking genius!" she then grabbed the sides of his head and kissed him hard on the lips before running off. Lincoln was about to say something, before sighing and rolling his eyes.
"…You know what? I'll let that one slide." and with that, he continued to the arts and crafts store. When he arrived, he headed to the back were an oldish man could be seen engraving a book. Lincoln waited for a bit before clearing his throat
"Oh sorry about that, how may I help you?" he asked apologetically
"Hi, I'm here to pick up a book and two plaques I had engraved"
"Okay, and your name?"
"Lincoln Lard," He said proudly. The man then headed into the back room.
He returned about a minute later with Lincolns items "here you go young man" and he handed the items to Lincoln who smiled as he observed them
"Perfect, thank you."
"Don't mention it. Happy Holidays." and with that, Lincoln left the store.
Lincoln's next stop was an electronics store that was naturally filled with people "thank god I pre-ordered" he said to himself as he entered the store. He bypassed the line of agitated and glaring customers and joined the much smaller line, only to stop as he saw Lana and Leni talking with Stella "crap" he muttered as he continued to the line while hoping that Stella would keep at least Lana distracted until he had gotten the other half of her gift. Unfortunately, that wouldn't be the case. As he was now the third person in the line he grumbled as he heard.
"Hey Linc, what are you doing in here" turning he saw Lana and Leni
"Leni could you please escort the little robutterball out of here, please" understanding what Lincoln meant she tugged on Lana's arm
"Come on Lana, lets leave Lincoln to do his shopping"
"Aw, but why?"
"Because I said so" and the two left the store, one begrudgingly.
"Well that's one disaster averted," he said before it was his turn.
After getting his gift for Lana, he headed to the closest toy store to get a gift for Lily. After checking with the rest of his family he had narrowed down what gifts he could get for Lily. Ultimately he decided to get a ball for her seeing as how Lynn had accidentally popped her last one. After getting her a ball that had a purple metallic swirl pattern on it, he headed back to the frame store where his picture was done "perfect. Well my Christmas shopping is done" he said happily, he was about to call his mum to ask where she was when he paused and put his phone back in his pocket "the food court" he said before he walked off to said location.
Sure enough, when he arrived he saw his mum along with Lana, Luan, and Lisa sitting at a table eating "hey there" Lincoln said as he sat down on a table next to theirs
"Hi sweetie, are you finished with your shopping?" Rita asked
"Yep, have you girls finished yours?"
"Yes, we've finished ours. Your father took Luna, Lynn, Lola Leni Lily, and Lucy home and we were just waiting for you and Lori to show up"
"Speaking of which, where is she?" Luan asked
Elsewhere
Lori with a frown on her face gave an annoyed sigh as men were trying to get her out of a doorway she had gotten stuck in.
It was Christmas Eve in the Lard house and everyone was excited for tomorrow, but none more so than Lincoln. Not only was it going to be his first Christmas with his new family but he was also going to finally meet his extended family, including relatives that he didn't have in his old dimension. Everyone had placed their gifts for each other under the tree which was covered in so many decorations that the tree itself was no longer visible. The Lard parents had an additional 2 presents that were going to be from Santa to Lily, due to her being the only one in the family that believed in Santa anymore.
"So are you excited for tomorrow bro?" Luna asked
"Yeah, I can't wait to meet everyone" he replied
"And I'm sure that they can't wait to meet you" Rita added
"I can't wait till tomorrow's feast," Lynn said making most of the girls drool
"I hope uncle Jack made his famous trifle," Lana said while licking her lips
"Ugh, I don't know how you stomach that stuff," Lucy said
"Yeah, I have to agree with Lucy, it's not that good" Luna agreed
"That's why we have Lana instead of a garbage disposal," Luan said making most of the people present laugh.
The next day everyone woke up as they usually did, with Lynn Sr. announcing that breakfast was ready. After having breakfast everyone made their way to the lounge room to start opening presents as always it went from youngest to oldest with Lily opening her gifts first. The youngest Lard mainly got toys, thanking each girl as she opened her gifts. However, when it came to Lincoln's gift, which had been a new ball, she scowled and threw it at his head, thankfully though he caught it. He was really tempted to pop the ball but wisely chose against it. This caused all of her sisters to frown at her "gotta love me" she said and went back to playing with her other toys.
"Just let it go," Lincoln said wearily and they all got back to opening presents.
When Lisa grabbed the gift Lincoln had given her she looked excited to see what the first gift her new brother had gotten her would be. After tearing off the wrapping paper she was left rather puzzled at what she got, it was a small photo album that said 'Lisa Lard's Blunders' Opening it she and everyone else couldn't help but laugh as the photo album was filled with aftermath photos of Lisa's failed experiments and devices. Unlike the old Lisa, the second youngest Lard could laugh at herself "thanks Lincoln, this is perfect" she said as she hugged him.
"I thought you'd like it"
Next, it was Lola's turn, when she opened her gift from Lincoln she saw that it was a picture frame with a mirror in it with a plaque on the frame saying "the worlds most beautiful princess"
The older girls gave an 'awww' as they knew what it meant. Lola on the other hand was a bit confused until Lisa whispered what it symbolized. Once she understood she began to tear up and she hugged her brother tightly who responded with a hug of his own "thank you Wincoln"
"No problem princess"
Next Lana opened her gifts when she got to Lincoln's gift she tore it open to reveal the same type of suit used for her fighting robots "Cool, a new battle suit"
"Well yes, but the second half of your gift under the tarp in the garage" Lana then waddled off to the garage "And a three. Two. One aaannnddd..." Lincoln said there was a bit of a pause before they all heard a very loud scream, this was almost instantly by a loud thundering noise as well as the ground shaking before an over the moon Lana barreled in and tackled Lincoln. The boy grunted as he was just strong enough now to prevent her from barreling him over.
"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"
"Lana bruh, what did he get you?" Luna asked
"He got me the Killatron!" She squealed before, as impossible as it should have been, jumping up into her brother's arms to hug around his neck.
"Wait, you mean he got you that behemoth of a machine that he and Stella took down!"
"Yes! Thank you so much, Lincoln!" She hugged him all the tighter,
"Ah don't mention it, now could you please get off, I'm starting to lose the feeling in my legs" She pulled back, noticing his face rapidly turning purple as he was forced to hold her up.
"Oop sorry" She slipped back down with a light 'thud' and let him start wheezing.
"Just so you know I only got it because it was being decommissioned and about to be scrapped for all the damage it took made it 'unfixable'." He quirked an eyebrow as Lana smirked.
"In other words, they didn't want to reuse a robot everybody saw get beat? I'll have it working and better than new by New Year. Those guys in the arena will need a new change of pants when they see 'Mega-Killatron' join the fight."
"Okay, my turn," Lucy said and she started to tear into her gifts.
Saving Lincoln's gift for last she opened it to reveal a sack filled with smaller sacks that had seeds in them. What was odd though was that the sacks had names on them that she didn't recognize "I know they're seeds, but I've never heard of a...keflum?" Lucy said quite perplexed
"As you shouldn't, these are seeds from fruits from other dimensions" Lincoln explained, leaving nearly everyone slack-jawed "I had Leni help locate all of these fruits, and don't worry none of them are poisonous to humans or will come alive once fully grown...probably"
"This is amazing! Thank you so much you two" she then gave the two of them a hug each "I'm going to go and plant them now!"
"Hold on there skippy" Lynn Sr. said as he grabbed her by the shoulder "you can plant them AFTER the party" Lucy pouted but complied.
Without even unwrapping Lincoln's gift Lynn knew that it was a picture. Tearing off the paper, she was left absolutely speechless at what she was seeing. It was a hand-drawn picture of her at an eating contest, standing up with her hands raised in victory. The detail in the picture was indescribable, it looked more like a photo than an actual picture "Lincoln, this is, wow, I-I can't even describe how good this is!" and the two hugged
"Wow, how long did you have to work on that Lincoln?" Lynn Sr. asked
"Oh about 3 days"
"3 days!" His family exclaimed
"I thought something like this would take months!" Lynn exclaimed
"What can I say? I'm quick on the draw." He got a smile and an eye roll from his family.
When Luan opened her gift from Lincoln her face lit up, Lincoln had gotten her some really old joke books of which she was a collector of. "Wow Linc, these are awesome. Whoa, 1920! these are old"
"I hunted in every antique store and over furnished bookstore owned by an old guy in a beige knitted sweater I could find. There were a few more, but I sneezed and they disintegrated"
Luan laughed before she hugged her brother "thanks Linc"
Compared to the other gifts Luna's gift was really small, opening it, her heart stopped as she saw what her gift was. It was Pucker Uppenheimer's guitar pic which had been framed and had his signature on the frame. "Oh my god, Linc this...this..." *thud*
"And she fainted," Luan said flatly
"I was honestly expecting her to completely flip out" Lincoln said
"Well me next" Leni said
When Leni opened her gift from Lincoln, her eyes widened as she saw that it was a limited edition Golden MuscleFish "Lincoln...I've been looking for this for years, how on earth did you get it?!"
"It wasn't easy, but I managed to find a guy"
Finally, it came to Lori "I truly didn't know what to get you, so I made you something instead" removing the wrapping paper her eyes widened, it was a picture of her when she won the gaming championships In a frame that Lincoln had made that looked like a Nintendo Switch, at the bottom was a small plaque That said '#1 Gamer'
"Lincoln, you made this frame?"
"Yep," he said, feeling really proud. Lori moved over to Lincoln before giving him a big squishy hug
"I love it Lincoln, thank you"
"You're welcome"
Now it was Lincoln's turn to open his gifts "I bet our gifts are going to look like crap compared to yours" Lynn said with most their sisters agreeing
"Hey you girls could just give me a hug and some candy and it would be a great gift" the girls were all touched by this. Opening his first gift (which was from Lisa) he saw that she had gotten him a robotic bug that with 2 claws on the front and a propeller sticking out of the top of its head "uh, what is it?"
"It's a back scratcher" Lisa explained
"A back scratcher?"
"Press the button on it" Lincoln then pressed the button on it. Its eyes glowed blue and the propeller spun, making it float in the air it then moved around Lincoln, stopping behind him, its claws then extended and began scratching his back
"Oh yeah, that's good," he said, surprisingly it actually followed the itch it had made. Lincoln then turned around and grabbed it before turning it off "I am definitely going to get a lot of use out of this, thank you Lisa" and he gave her a hug.
Next, he moved onto Lola's gift, opening it up, he smiled as he saw that she had got him a new Ace Savvy action figure "whoa, cool, thanks Lola"
"You're welcome, Wincoln" and the two hugged
Next was Lana's gift, opening up the gift, he smiled as he saw that it was an art kit, and an expensive one at that "whoa, thanks a million Lana, I definitely need one of these"
"I just wish I could have gotten you a better gift"
"Its fine Lana, I love it" and he gave the big girl a hug before continuing on with the gift opening.
Moving on to Lucy's gift, he opened it up to find a stack of comics, quickly flipping through them, he saw that they were all copies that he already had, not that he was going to tell her that "cool, these are great! thanks Luc!"
"You're welcome Linc, glad you like them"
Next came Lynn's gift, which was the biggest, opening it up, he saw that she had gotten him a five-foot-tall figure of Ace Savvy "wow, this is awesome Lynn, thank you!"
"You don't have it do you."
"Nope, that'll go great in my collection" he lied, already having one.
Lincoln then moved onto Luan's gift which was rather heavy, opening it up his eyes widened and he almost started drooling as he saw that the box was packed to the absolute brim with his favorite brand of gummy candy. "holy crud, thanks to a million Luan" he then got up and gave her a hug "I know just where to put these" and he patted his stomach making the comedian laugh.
Seeing that Luna was still passed out, he decided to wait until she regained consciousness to open her gift to him.
Skipping over to Leni's gift he opened it up and found it to be a metallic skateboard only without the wheels "stand on it" Lincoln did as he was told "say clamp, clamp" "clamp, clamp" two clamps came out of the board and clamped around his feet "now say kai, kai"
"Kai, kai" and with that, the sides lit up to a glowing blue before it rose up 2 feet off the ground "holy crud!"
"Your very own personal hoverboard," Leni said proudly
"Leni, is it safe?" Lynn Sr. asked
"Oh sure, I designed it so even if for whatever reason he decided to try and crash into something it will either stop or change direction. And with those clamps, it will be impossible for him to fall off" Lincoln was about to fully test it out when his father grabbed onto the board
"Not in the house!"
"Right…so how do I get off?"
"Say sai, sai" the board then floated back down and the clamps came off
"This is so awesome! Thank you so much, Leni!"
"You're welcome Lincoln" and like with all of the other sisters, they hugged.
Finally Lincoln moved on to Lori…who was extending an envelope to him with and ashamed look on his face. taking the envelope, he opened it and his eyes widened as he saw that the envelope contained $1200 "I'm sorry Lincoln, I honestly had no idea what to get you" Lincoln bit his upper lip to avoid whistling. Resisting his Loud instincts to hoard it, he just took out 2 $100 bills and put them in his PJ shirt pocket before handing the rest back to Lori
"Lori, I appreciate it, but this is way too much. Just give me a hug and we'll call it even."
Lori pocketed the envelope before enveloping her brother in a smothering hug "Ooooh you're the best brother ever."
"Damn straight," he said making her laugh.
The last 2 gifts were from their parents. He got various art supplies from his mum, and from his dad, he got a model plane to build.
"Well now that all of the gifts have been opened, you kids best get ready for the day," Rita said and with that, everyone headed to their rooms to get showered and dressed with Lincoln and Lynn dragging the still unconscious Luna to her room.
Once everyone was ready they all got to work preparing for the arrival of their extended family. While Lynn Sr. had prepared most of the food yesterday, he still had to make a few more things while Rita assisted him as best she could. while this happened, the Lard kids were setting up the tables in the party room. Lincoln up, we're setting up the grown-up table, while Lucy down was setting up the kids table.
"Remember girls, don't eat the snacks until the rest of the family starts arriving, especially you Lynn" Lori ordered as she placed down a massive bowl full of mixed nuts.
"Yeah, yeah" Lynn grumbled as she placed down an equally large bowl of cheese puffs.
"I mean it. None of you are eating as much a crumb until I say!"
"You think they'll make it?" Lincoln asked as he noticed Lynn was hardly the only Lard eyeing the food.
"I 'think' dad don't want to spend another holiday cooking a 'second' feast." Lori replied and put down the last set of silverware.
"So how long until people start arriving?" Lincoln asked
"They usually start showing up at around 11-12," Luan said casually
"Good work kids" they all turned and saw Rita standing in the doorway "now all we need is some music going and we'll be set...where's Luna?" they got their answer as they heard a thundering noise. Rita moved to the side as Luna, still in her pajamas, appeared in the doorway with her eyes locking onto Lincoln
"Uh oh" she bolted at her little brother and scooped him up
"thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou" she said rapidly while swinging him back and forth in a spine breakingly tight hug. Her fat nor his muscles doing nothing to cushion him as he heard his bones start to pop.
"You're...welcome...Luna" he strained out
"Luna! Ease up on him!" Leni exclaimed
"Huh?"
"Need...air"
"Oh sorry, bro!"
"*gasp* It's fine," He put his hands on his back and *CRACK* "Aahhhh. I'm glad you like your gift"
"Like it? I LOVE IT! How the heck did you get it?!"
"I gave him and his bandmates each one of those special tickets that dad gives to people to eat at his restaurants for free" He looked over at Lynn Sr, who gave him a curt thumbs up.
"That's awesome bro...makes the gift I gave you look like a pile of crap"
"Speaking of which, I haven't opened it yet" Lincoln then grabbed Luna's hand and guided her back to the Christmas tree where one sole gift remained. Picking it up, Lincoln opened it revealing a smooch T-Shirt
"Awesome! thanks a ton Luna" and he gave her a hug before he took off his current shirt and slipped on the one Luna had gotten him "fits perfectly"
"That's a relief, I actually kept the receipt just encase it was too small"
"Heh. If you'd got me it a few months ago it would have probably been too big" He nodded back towards the family "well you'd better get ready, the guests will be arriving soon" Luna nodded and gave Lincoln another (softer) hug before she took his shirt
"I'll put this back in your room"
"Thanks" and with that, Luna walked off.
After an hour the doorbell rang "Can someone get the door please" Rita called out over the intercom. Due to Luan being the closest she answered the door opening it she saw her great-aunt Ruth and great-uncle, Steven
"Hi guys" she said before she wheeled back allowing them to enter.
"Hello there sweetie" Ruth said as she gave her great-niece a hug and a kiss. This was followed by her great-uncle greeting her with a hug as well. Her great-uncle Steven was a bear of a man. Massive and at 6'5 and built if not muscular, he towered over nearly everyone he also had a big beard and always wore a flannel shirt, but despite his intimidating appearance, he was just a big kid. He was then followed by a very tall chubby gothic girl with very long black hair, one visible eye, and removing her coat revealed that she wore an outfit almost identical to Lincoln's original Lucy
"Hey cuz, long time," she said in a monotone.
"Likewise Lydia" and the two shook hands finally a boy about Lincoln's age and height with a build like his dad, entered before closing the door behind him
"Damn it's cold out there!" he said and shivered. He had black spiky hair, a red headband with matching wristbands, several scars on his face, and after removing his coat revealed that he was wearing an orange gi with a black belt.
"Hey chuckles, how yah been!" He asked enthusiastically while giving Luan a big bear hug.
"I'm doing fine Justin," she said while returning the hug as best she could "I see that you've gone for orange this time".
"Yeah I was gonna wear my blue one but it was dirty, so orange it was"
"Merry Christmas Luan," Steven said as he gave Luan a wrapped gift
"Thank you very much," Luan said as she happily took the gift.
"So where's the new arrival Lincoln," Ruth asked
"I think I saw him with wingus and dingus in the game room."
"So the twins are trying to teach their baby brother to play video games?" Lydia questioned
Luan looked at them oddly "Wait, how old do you think he is?"
"Wasn't he just recently born?" Ruth asked
"No he's 13" Luan stated
"...well, this is awkward" Lydia said
"I think the gift mum got him might be a bit too small" Justin said with a small chuckle as Rita and Lynn Sr. walked up
"Aunt Ruth, Uncle Steven, wonderful to see you again," Rita said happily as she greeted the other adults.
The Lard siblings began arriving at the front door to greet the people who arrived. After a round of hugs and gift-giving Ruth, Steven, Lydia, and Justin met Lincoln for the first time, and vice versa. "hi there, my name is Lincoln, who are you?" he asked politely
"My what a polite young man, well I'm your great-aunt Ruth" Lincoln's froze. Looking at the woman and blinking slowly as his brain refused to associate the name with the woman in front of him. It simply could not accept that this...this...woman was the counterpart of his aunt Ruth.
Unlike the lump of sag his old aunt Ruth had been, this version of her only had a plump figure and actually carried it well, she was also at least four inches taller, had a smaller and less bulbous nose, long wavy hair, was well-groomed, had a kind smile, and most importantly didn't smell of cats fur and all the other various cat smells "this is your great-uncle Steven."
He paused only briefly to be shocked that his aunt was married "And these are your cousins Lydia and Justin" Ruth said
"Wow you look like you could take down an ox" Justin said as he and Lincoln shook hands firmly
"Hey don't sell yourself short, you look just as strong" Justin then tightened his grip on Lincoln's hand prompting Lincoln to tighten his grip. The two kept tightening their grip until their arms were shaking
"Boy's, cut it out," Lynn Sr said making them let go and give each other sly looks
"I think I just made a new friend," they said in unison before laughing and they fist-bumped.
"Sigh. Boys" Lydia said
"So Rita. You didn't mention that your new son was 13" Ruth said
"Ooohhh" Rita replied
"Mum, did you mention Lincoln's age to anyone?" Luan asked
"uhhh." She rubbed the back of her neck
"I think you're in for a lot of baby gifts this year Linc-man" Steven said casually as he handed out the gifts to his nieces and nephew. Lincoln opened his gift to find that it was a baby blue onesie.
Lincoln laughed "well it's the thought that counts, thank you"
As the adults headed to the kitchen, Luna and Lydia walked off while catching up while Lincoln began chatting with Justin "So how'd you like your new fam?"
"Like them? I love them! They're the best family anyone could ask for" any girls who were within earshot smiled brightly when they heard that
"So what's it like in an orphanage?"
"Well to tell you the truth, I'm not from an orphanage, I'm from another dimension"
He caught himself as he tripped over his own feet "...are you serious?"
Lincoln nodded. Hey he'd already told his friends, no point in keeping it from family "Yep, long story short, my version of my new sisters got rid of me by sending me here after I accidentally ruined a huge project they had been working on"
"Whoa, they sound like a group of bitches to me"
"No argument here"
"So how does your old family differ from this one?"
"The main things would be that my old family wasn't rich, my parents weren't as successful, and all of my sisters were thin"
He looked back at his cousins in the next room. Lori was occupying the same space as at least three people by herself "Kinda hard to picture any Lard girl as thin."
"We weren't the Lard's back there. It's the Loud family."
"Name as spot on?"
"Oh yeah."
"So what about me and Lydia, what are we like?"
"That's the thing, like me in this world, you both don't exist in my world"
"What?! Why don't we exist?!"
"Because your mum never married in my dimension"
"Seriously? Why not."
"Because here, your mom looks like a regular, pretty woman. In my world, she's got more cats than I do sisters and looks like a shaved ogre rolled around in cat fur."
"Well, that's kind of rude. How bad could she be?"
"Let me answer your question with a question. How many extra toes does your mom have?"
Justin reeled back with visible disgust "uh...I'll take your word for it" and they continued talking.
15 minutes later
Another knock was heard, this time it was Lori that answered, opening the door, she smiled as she saw her Aunt Shirley, who like aunt Ruth was plump and far more attractive and her Uncle Jack "Aunt Shirley, Uncle Jack, great to see you again" she said as she let them enter
"Great to see you too," Aunt Shirley said as she gave Lori a hug and a kiss.
"You seem to get bigger and bigger every time we see you" Uncle Jack said as he gave his niece a hug, Jack was about as tall as Lori's dad, balding, a short beard, and was really slim, though the man could eat as much as Luna and not gain a pound. The two adults were then followed by their 3 daughters Ada (18), Jane (15), and Mable (13).
Ada was the heaviest of the 3 weighing at 650lbs, she was also a genius. Smarter than Lisa but annoyingly not as smart as Leni. she had shoulder-length red hair, light freckles on her cheeks, she was wearing a red hoodie with a white shirt underneath, black stretch pants, and matching black sneakers.
Jane was the 'smallest' of the 3, being a mere 360lbs and was similar to Lincoln's original Lori since her attention was solely on her phone, she also had an extremely short temper and an uncaring attitude. She had her long brown hair in a ponytail which went halfway down her back, a lot of acne, she was wearing an emerald green hoodie with a black shirt underneath, and like her older sister she too wore black stretch pants, and matching black sneakers.
And finally, Mabel, who had just passed 500lbs only recently, was the most spontaneous of the three, she was a bit slower than most girls her age and was quite...eccentric, but what she lacked in smarts she more than made up for it with her magnetic personality, she was a bit shorter than Lincoln, had long brown hair that reached her butt, buck teeth like Lincoln and Luan, rosy cheeks, she wore a light blue sweater that had a burger and french fry design on it, stretchy jeans, and pink boots.
"Lori, long time" Ada said and the two fist-bumped
"Likewise"
"So how's life been treating you so far?"
"Pretty damn good actually, I own my own successful mini-golf park now"
"Wow, seriously?! *Lori nods* how did you manage to own your own mini-golf park?"
"Well…"
Flashback
It was a normal Tuesday night for the Lard family. They'd all finished dinner and dessert to prove that some things were constant among all realities were watching the latest episode of Love Boat together. As an ad break came on Rita turned to Lori "so Lori sweetheart, have you been looking for jobs or know what you're going to do?" she asked
"Ughhh I've applied for so many jobs, but I either don't have the right skills or I'm too big for the job. As for what I want to do, I don't really know" she said, slightly depressed. Lincoln, who was leaning back on Lori's colossal belly along with Lucy and Lisa, perked up at this.
"That actually reminds me, Today when Liam's dad was taking me home, we passed the mini-golf place and I saw that it had both a closed sign on it as well as a for sale sign" Lori couldn't help but laugh at this
"So my post really did put it out of business?!"
"Seems so, and that's where I got an idea. Dad could buy it for you and you could run it as your own business" Lori's face lit up like a Christmas tree and she turned to their dad. Seeing the look on his eldest daughters face, Lynn Sr. couldn't help but laugh
"Eh? Why not? That place was pretty busy before all that unpleasantness. I'll check and find out how much it's selling for tomorrow" he said happily. Lori gave an excited squeal before she got up, knocking over her three siblings in the process "no, no, no, no, no Lori!" She then dived onto him, giving him a massive hug while also crushing the chair he had been sitting in.
"You really should have seen that on coming honey," Rita said as she looked down at her husband
"Yeah, I...know. Okay, Lori off off off! he strained out. As she got off she realized what she had done
"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry dad"
"It's a fine sweetie. Just try to be more careful in the future," he said as he got up and loudly CRACKED his back.
Over the following days, Lynn Sr. Had been able to purchase not only the mini-golf course but also the land it was on, which surprisingly extended far beyond the mini-golf course itself. Now that the mini-golf course officially belonged to them or rather, belonged to Lori, she had some plans for it. For starters, she was going to take advantage of the extra land and have the mini-golf course expanded as much as possible. Then she was planning on making 2 more additional courses one for advanced players and another for master players. The family all pitched in and helped in their own way. Lana, Lisa, and Leni designed the courses and animatronics for the obstacles, Lucy planted trees, shrubs, and flowers around the park, Lynn Sr. Worked out a simple menu for the snack/rest area. Luna Lynn Lincoln Lola and Rita either did heavy lifting or helped out with any job that needed to be done. Lori was basically supervising and directing the whole project, thankfully she wasn't a demanding slave driver.
Slowly but surely the mini-golf course that Lori envisioned came together. Finally, after weeks of hard work and dedication, the mini-golf course was completed. A large castle wall now went around the mini-golf course along with towers placed around it the entrance to the car park now had 2 giant golf balls on giant trees on either side with a sign connecting the two saying "Lori's Links" on it. After making posts on all her social media accounts and telling all of her friends about the day it opened, she started putting help-wanted advertisements around town. This attracted many people, however, Lori along with her consultants Leni, Lincoln, and their dad were very specific on what they were looking for.
After many interviews, Lori had selected 15 people to work at her mini-golf course. She and her consultants had made sure that the people hired weren't perverts or creeps, were in a relationship to prevent flirting or conflict amongst each other, had a positive attitude and work ethic, would be okay with cleaning up messes if need be, and got along with people in general. It was genuinely surprised at how many people fit that bill perfectly which made selecting the final 15 difficult, but they were sure they made the right choices, all she had to do was wait for said day.
Finally, the big day came, the car park became packed and the streets became lined with cars. Finally, it reached the opening time and the gates rose up allowing everyone to enter, needless to say, everyone was extremely impressed. As a way to attract even more people, everything in the park was half price on the first day. The Lard family were genuinely amazed at how many people showed up for the grand re-opening of the park. Also due to having the same devices for food, water, and electricity as they did for their mansion, they were basically making nothing but profit for the whole day.
End Flashback
"Wow, that's great to hear, congratulations."
"Thanks, but as I said, it was my new little brother who set the whole thing into motion"
"Wait, so how old is your new brother?" Mabel asked making Lori gave an annoyed sigh
"He's 13. And the best damn brother a girl could ask for" hearing Lincoln's actual age surprised the newcomers
"Then I guess he won't like the gift I got him," Aunt Shirley said as she pulled out a largish wrapped gift from the bag she was holding
"Well Aunt Ruth got him an onesie so whatever that is will be an improvement" Lori said getting a few laughs
"I take it your parents are in the kitchen" Uncle Jack said
"Yep, and you'd best put that trifle in a place where Lana can't get to it"
"Ha! Yeah even by this families standards that girl is a bottomless pit"
"Tell me about it" Lori then walked over to the intercom and pressed the button before calling out "guy's, Aunt Shirley and Uncle Jack are here" and soon the Lard kids showed up where they were all greeted by their Aunt and Uncle, as well as given their gifts. The new arrivals were surprised when they saw Lincoln for the first time, Mabel was the first one to speak
"Hey there. My names Mabel, your Lincoln right?"
"Yup, it's a pleasure to finally meet you Mabel" and they shook hands. Lincoln shook hands with everyone else, though he got a lazy handshake from Jane who only looked away from her phone for a literal second.
"So, tell me more about yourself. where are you from? who are your birth parents? do you like living here? what's it like to have so many sisters? What..." Mabel asked as she kept leaning closer and closer to Lincoln making him lean back
"Mabel sweetie, give the boy some space," Jack said
"Alright in order, I'm from another dimension, my birth parents are alternate versions of my current parents, I love living here, and it's great having so many loving and supportive sisters" this surprised the newcomers, heck even Jane stopped texting to look at him again "wait, hold up, you're from another dimension?!"
"Yep, long story short, my version of my new sisters got rid of me by sending me here after I accidentally ruined a huge project they had been working on"
"Wow...sounds like they didn't love you that much"
Lincoln looks hurt for a moment, but nodded "Yeah well, they won't have to worry about me anymore because I'm never going back, I love my life here. wonderful sisters, parents that always have time for me, and I now have cousins"
"Apparently we don't exist in his dimension because our mum's look they were 'born' to be spinsters," Justin added the kids couldn't help but laugh at that while Shirley's opinion on her appearance and life shot through the roof, making her hug her husband. the adults then broke off from the kids and headed into the kitchen.
Leni walked up to Ada and the two did their special greeting (bump right arm, bump left arm, and then belly bump) "been a while cuz, how has tech came along any?" Leni asked Ada responded by grabbing her wrist and casually snapping it with a loud *KRUNCH* before removing her whole forearm with a pop. Most of the kids screamed at this as she handed her arm to Leni who observed it "what happened?" Leni asked
"It was an accident, piece of equipment fell on my arm, crushing it and resulting in amputation. I then decided that instead of just having a normal cybernetic arm, I wanted to make it look like a normal flesh and blood arm. It took a while but after getting it to look and feel normal I was able to modify it further so that it mimics the appearance of my other arm"
"Extremely impressive" Leni said as she was genuinely surprised at how real it looked and felt, handing it back, Ada reattached it.
"No matter how many times I've seen her do that, it still freaks me out" Mabel whispered to Lincoln who nodded in understanding.
More time passed before Lynn Sr.'s brother Rex arrived along with his wife Julie and their twin 8-year-old sons Luke and Luis as well as Grandpa Lynn with Lynn Sr. being the one to greet them this time. Rex basically looked like Lynn Sr. only with a little less hair and muscle mass.
Lincoln had never met his paternal grandfather. He didn't know whether it was because the old man was still around anymore, or because he had a better relationship with his son here than he did back in the old world where he'd favoured his other kids over Lynn, but he was glad to finally see his dad embrace his older mirror image.
Julie was quite a large lady but was still very attractive with long blonde hair a kind smile and a very good sense of fashion, Luke and Luis, like Lola and Lana were identical twins, but their personalities couldn't be further apart Luke was loud, rough, was prone to getting into scrapes and scuffles with people, and wasn't afraid to get down and dirty. Luis on the other hand was quiet, calm, smart, avoided conflict whenever possible, and was a neat freak.
Luke had brown scruffy hair, a scar on his right cheek, was missing his upper canine teeth, was wearing a scruffy black long-sleeved black shirt with an emerald green vest over the top, jeans, and runners. Luis's hair was neatly combed, his face was free of any scars, cuts, or scratches, he too was missing his upper canine teeth, was wearing a newish black long-sleeved black shirt with a navy blue vest over the top, jeans, and runners. Lynn sr. looked at his nephews and smiled "why don't you boys go to the lounge room, I think that's where Lola and Lana currently are with most of the other kids" the two boys smiled back and headed to the lounge room, Luke running and Luis walking at a normal pace.
When Luke entered he saw nearly all of his cousins watching TV.
"Hey guys!" he called out, everyone looked and smiled at the newcomer
"Wuke!" Lola said happily before she got to her feet and made her way over to said boy before they hugged
"That's Luke?" Lincoln asked Luna
"Yeah, he's the only cousin you have right?"
"Him and Luis yeah" he replied before said boy entered where he was greeted by Lana
"I take it they're different?"
"Yeah, Luis is the dirty one and Luke is the clean one in my dimension"
"Your dimension sounds like a really weird place" Mabel said as she was now lying across both Lincoln and Justin's laps
"Mabel would you please get off of our legs," Lincoln asked
"Yeah, I'm starting to lose the feeling in them" Justin added
"Nope, too comfy."
"Okay you asked for it. Ready Justin?"
"Yep one"
"Two"
"Three!" and in unison, they pushed her and moved up making Mabel fall to the floor. Mabel pouted at the two boys who started rubbing their legs to get the feeling back
"Wuke I'd wike you to meet our new awesome bwother, Wincoln" Lola introduced Lincoln and Luke shook hands
"Nice to meet ya Linc" Luke greeted
"Likewise" Lincoln greeted back Luis then came up and looked at him "yes?"
"Hmm I thought we had gotten a new baby cousin to play with and spoil"
"Well sorry to disappoint you" Luis shrugged and walked off
"Jeez I've known ice that was warmer than that" Mabel said, still on the floor
"I agree," Lincoln said
As the kids all played, talked, and watched TV one member was starting to get more and more annoyed, the constant ruckus was starting to wear on Jane's nerves. After one particularly loud chorus of laughs, she finally snapped "will you all shut up! It's bad enough that mum and dad forced me to come here, but now I have to put up with your excessive babbling, just shut the hell up!" she snapped.
Lori, with a firm look on her face, stood up, she was about to tell Jane off when Lincoln stood up and raised his hand to stop Lori. He then moved over and sat down next to Jane who turned to look at him "what?"
"You know I'm quite good at reading people and if I had to take a wild guess, I'd say that you care more about who your texting with than the people in this room, and have a short fuse" Luan, Justin, and Mabel burst out laughing while everyone else tried to hold back their laughter. Jane however was not amused in the slightest, pocketing her phone, she gave him a death glare
"Watch it twerp. Or I'll turn you into a..."
"...A human pretzal? Yeah, I doubt it. Though I'd have to say the cause for your anger could possibly stem from the fact that your older sister is a genius and gets praised all the time for her accomplishments. Your younger sister gets more attention than you while you're just...the middle child. The stopover kid they had between the two talented ones. Your "friends" are the popular kids who only let you join them because they pity you, and even though you know that, you refuse to acknowledge it so you can say that you're popular. You have no special skills or talent to speak of because you think that if it doesn't come to you easy like your sisters then you don't have to try, add the difficulty and pressure of high school life, plus your acne problems, the fact that you're the thinnest of your sisters, and has possibly never had a boy give you a second glance despite being "popular" it's no wonder you're angry so much. So, am I right?"
Everyone in the room was speechless at Lincoln, Jane's anger had completely vanished at this point, everything her new cousin had said was true. She constantly saw herself as a talentless nobody always being compared to her sisters, that no one truly liked she knew her friends (if she could even call them that) could care less about her and on more than one occasion they had placed the blame of something on her resulting in her getting into a lot of trouble. As tears started to roll down her cheeks Lincoln wiped them away "and I bet you wish your family would give you more of these" and he hugged her. This did it for Jane, she finally broke down and hugged him tightly while crying her eyes out. Ada and Mabel quickly joined in on the hug which lasted for a while.
"Wow, he's good," Justin said to Lynn who nodded in agreement
"I think it's because he's had a lot of experience with teenagers in the past" Lynn replied
"From what he's told me, he's probably got a lifetime of experience from his old sisters"
"Ha yeah"
When they finally broke the hug Jane looked at Lincoln with a large smile "thanks Lincoln, I really needed that"
"Hey were family, we have to help each other. Besides...I kind of know what it's like to be compared to your sisters." Jane wiped her eyes and nodded
"Jane" Jane looked at her older sister "we may not see eye to eye most of the time, but Mabel and I will always be there for you whenever you need help or are in trouble"
"Yeah sis, we'll always have your back" Mabel added
"Thanks, girls, sorry that I've been a b-" Ada slapped her hand over Jane's mouth
"Minor's in the room" and she removed her hand Jane then looked at everyone with an almost ashamed look on her face
"I'm sorry about my outburst before"
"Ah forget about it, let's just enjoy Christmas," Lori said with everyone agreeing, as everyone went back to what they were doing before Jane's outburst, Lincoln staying next to Jane, Jane got a text on her phone
"Hey why aren't you replying?" it read. Jane looked at Lincoln and then back at her phone before frowning and with a simple reply of "piss off," she blocked the girl she used to call a friend and then deleted her contact as well as most of her other one before pocketing her phone and turning back to Lincoln who gave a nod of approval and the two hugged again.
"I probably made a bad first impression on you considering I don't exist in your dimension"
"Meh I've seen worst first impressions"
"How did you know about all of that stuff?"
"Years of experience with my old sisters. I saw your attitude and pieced it together with your home life"
"You should be a psychologist"
"Nah, drawing is my passion"
"He's not kidding, you should see a picture he made for me for Christmas, come on I'll show you" Lynn said as she got up with Lincoln and Jane getting up as well and following her.
Shortly after the arrival of Albert and Myrtle Lynn Sr. called out over the intercom that lunch was ready and to not become a stampede. Calmly all of the kids entered the party room with Lincoln being introduced to Uncle Rex, Aunt Julie, Grandpa Lynn, Pop-Pop, and Myrtle. As everyone took their seats, they were divided into 3 groups with Lily Lisa, Lola, Lana, Luis, and Luke sitting at the kid's table (which was almost buckling under the weight of the amount of food that was on it), the adults were sitting at one end of the adult table, with the rest of the kids sitting at the other end of it. Lincoln raised a brow.
"Sure it's enough?" he said due to there being enough food to feed 10 armies.
"Trust me Linc, there won't be much left, especially after Lori, Ada, and Mabel get through with it," Justin said as he sat down next to Lincoln with Lori taking up the other 3 seats next to him before they all began eating. To Lincoln's surprise, his sisters were eating just like they would in public, calmly and civilly, not that he was complaining. Even so, they may not be eating like starving dogs, but they were still eating the same amount as they normally would...more so in fact.
By the time the girls had finished the boys had long since finished their meals and had left to go to the game room. "and that makes 10 wins in a row" Luis said smugly having won 10 games of Mario Kart in a row
"Damn he's good," Justin said
"How about a few games of pool?" Lincoln suggested
"Sounds like a plan"
"Just prepare to lose" Luke said confidently
"We'll see" Lincoln replied. After 4 games the score was tied between the two groups. It had been Lincoln vs Luke on one pool table and Justin vs Luis on the other "final game, the winners gets $20 each" Lincoln said as he held up two spare $20 notes he had, not wanting to gamble away Lori's gift. This only made his cousins want to win, even more, unfortunately, there could only be two winners which ended up being Justin and Luke, both were happy at winning $20 each. "hey how about one more round, Luke vs Justin winner gets another $20" Lincoln said as he held up another $20 note.
"You seriously just walk around with $60 in your pocket on Christmas?" Luis asked
"Yeah, never know when you'll need it"
"...fair point"
"Hey guys" they turned and saw Jane at the door "mind if I play?"
"Sure, after these two play," Lincoln said, Jane smiled and walked in.
It was a close game but ultimately, Luke won "sweet, 40 big ones"
"Mind if I go against you boys one at a time and show you how a real pool player does it" Jane said
"Someone sounds confident, alright cuz, you're on" Justin said confidently.
4 humiliating defeats later
The boys were left stunned at the fact that they all lost against Jane "years of practice boys, years of practice"
"Hey you guys wanna hop in the hot tubs for a while" Lincoln suggested
"Can't, no swimsuit" Jane said
"Not a problem," Lincoln said he then guided the small group to the laundry room. when they entered, he leads them over to where a small matter maker was "if the girls ever get holes in their clothes, which happens often, they just simply just use this machine to make new ones" he explained before he asked the machine for 4 sets of bathers and one bikini. After getting changed and getting a towel each Lincoln guided them to the pool where they proceeded to enter the hot tub built for regular sized family members.
"Oh god this is good," Jane said
"I am so jealous of you Lincoln" Luke added
"Yeah, these hot tubs really help you unwind from a tough day," Lincoln said happily. The five of them were basically marinating in the hot tub for over an hour until an out of breath Luna appeared in the doorway
"There you dudes are."
"Hey Luna, what's up?" Lincoln asked
"Its dessert time bro, come on hurry up before the pigs eat it all" and with that, she left. reluctantly the group got out of the hot tub before they dried off and got dressed
"That was awesome Linc" Luke said
"I had no idea how much I needed that," Jane's said happily. when they arrived back at the party room they came upon a rather amusing site Lana was lying on the floor with Lola holding a large bowl just above Lana's face and Lisa scraping the last of its contents into Lana's mouth.
"I'm surprised the parents allowed that," Lincoln said casually getting the attention of the younger ones
"She was halfway through Uncle Jacks trifle when her chair broke and being unable to get back up, Lola started feeding her" Lisa explained as the last bits of the trifle disappeared within Lana's mouth
"More...trifle." she moaned out Lincoln walked up to Lana and patted her exposed belly
"Any more and I think you'll explode Ms. Piggy," he said getting a moan in response, clearly not liking being denied more food. Turning his attention to the table he smiled as he saw a white chocolate mud cake that was amazingly untouched despite it being fully within Lori's reaching distance he quickly headed over to the table and grabbed himself a few slices as well as a vanilla slice and a caramel slice he watched as Lola grabbed a whole mud cake and took it over to Lana and began feeding her it...well most of it.
"One for you, one for me *munch* *munch* one for you one for me *munch* *munch*" he couldn't help but laugh at that before nudging Lori, getting her attention before pointing at the twins. When Lori saw the scene she laughed as well
"Kids, what can you do?"
"Cage them and sent them to a kennel?" The young goth deadpanned
"Well yeah we could, but they'd probably chew through the bars and eat all the food."
"Most likely"
"Ugh I'm stuffed," Mabel said as she patted her gut with most of the other kids agreeing
"It pays to have a top chef as your uncle," Lydia said in a monotone
"You should try having one as a dad." Lynn groaned past her oncoming food coma, with all of the cousins and sisters agreeing.
The group of older kids began chatting amongst themselves about different things while occasionally picking away at the remaining dessert or snacks on the table. During the conversation Leni and Jane left the table with Jane looking rather excited for some reason, he also couldn't help but notice that Lola kept taking food from the table. As she reached for the remaining half of the white chocolate mud cake Lincoln grabbed her arm making her give an "eep"
"Lola, stop feeding Lana" he turned and saw Lana with her cheeks bulging to the max lazily trying to chew and swallow a large amount of food in her mouth "any more food and she'll pop, so no more, okay?"
"Okay Wincoln"
"That's a good girl"
Lana whimpered and gave her brother the saddest puppy dog eyes she could manage. Lincoln fought down the urge to give in before getting an idea. "I'll tell you what. You can have all the food you want...if you can get it yourself."
The little engineer struggled with all her might. Her arms pumping like she was sprinting and her legs trying to rock herself back up, then trying to roll onto her side like a turtle but it was all for naught as her stomach simply refused to budge from its a perfectly comfortable position. "I've fallen and I can't get up."
Lincoln's smirk drained away as he heard her say that. He looked up into space as he processed it "Lincoln?"
"I've been here how long and this is the first time I've heard that?." He mumbled
"Lincoln?" Lana repeated. Her brother shook his head "Awah?"
"You said you were gonna help me up so I can keep eating."
"Heh. Nice try. Can you get up?"
Lana struggled a little more before shaking her head in defeat.
"Then I guess you're done." He said and walked away.
A few hours passed before the extended families decided that it was time to leave. the first to leave was Pop-Pop and Myrtle this was followed by Rex, Julie, and Grandpa Lynn, mainly due to the fact that Luke and Luis could hardly keep their eyes open. The next to go were Shirley and Jack along with their 3 daughters, one of which was missing
"Has anyone seen Jane?" Shirley asked
"I saw her and Leni leave the party room a while ago, don't know where they went" Lincoln stated. Walking over to the nearest intercom, Lynn Sr. called out on it
"Jane your family is leaving now" about 2 minutes later Jane along with Leni appeared but nearly everyone was left slack-jawed as they saw Jane, the girl was now double the size she had been when she arrived.
"Let me guess you gave her some of that weight gain serum" Lori said flatly
"Guilty as charged" Leni replied
"You look good jane," Ada said
"Yep, this is 720lbs of pure awesomeness," she said while slapping her belly "Leni also gave me a week's work of clothes in my size," she said as she held up a bag while also giving Leni a side hug. The three girls gave their cousins goodbye hugs with Mabel and Jane giving Lincoln their numbers. Once the family of 5 left Lydia approached Leni
"Leni, is there any chance that you could do to me what you did to Jane"
"Of course, I'd do anything to help my family" Leni then grabbed Lydia by the wrist and basically dragged her to her room
"Careful girls! I only just had the car's suspension fixed!" Their father called after them.
"I have a feeling that you won't recognize your sister the next time you see her," Lincoln said too casually to Justin who nodded in agreement.
Ruth and Steven stayed for a bit longer until the sun started to set using the intercom once again to summon the girls. Unlike before, most of the family looked at the now much larger Lydia in surprise "behold, the new bigger me" she said in the same monotone as before
"Different look, same attitude," Justin said wearily
"Watch it, runt"
"Why don't you?"
"Knock it off you two" Steven said, the two siblings shot a glare at each other before looking away. Their parents sighed before they said one more goodbye and left.
"Okay kids, I'd like you all to clean up please," Lynn Sr. asked, there were a few grumbles before they all headed into the party room to clean up.
The job took longer than it normally would have due to the girls had made some room and started eating again. Lincoln could only smile and shake his head as he moved the food to his sisters and began putting as many tables and chairs that he could. As he exited the party room he almost ran into his dad "oop sorry big man. You guys done?"
"Well I've done my share of the work, can't say the same for the girls at this point" peering into the room, Lynn Sr. watched his daughters eat
"Well at least there won't be any leftovers"
"True"
"So did you enjoy your first Christmas here?"
"Sure did, Justin is awesome"
"Yes I saw you two getting along. I'm glad you enjoyed your first Christmas here. Now, once your sisters are done, all that's left to do is our final Christmas tradition"
"What's that?"
The Lard family were now all in the lounge room with most of them sharing blankets, Lincoln sharing his with Lisa and Lola. They were either sitting on the floor (like Lincoln was) or sitting on the couches while they all watched A Muppet Christmas Carol together. Lincoln had been surprised that the movie was completely identical to the one from his dimension. Looking around at his new family, a content smile made its way onto his face before he tightened his embrace around Lola and Lisa making them cuddle up to him more 'this has been a great Christmas' he thought as he continued to watch the movie.
Author's note: Okay some fun facts about this chapter
1. Lori's flashback to how she obtained her own Mini-golf park, was originally going to be its own chapter, but because I ran out of ideas for it to make it a proper chapter, I just stuck it in here as a flashback.
2. With Ada, Jane, and Mabel, I originally started off with the names first, then their appearances, then their personalities. It was only after I had thought up and and typed down Mabel's personality that I realised that she was almost like Mabel from Gravity Falls. Also shout out to anyone who can figure out where I got the three girls names from.
3. Yes I based Justin off of both Goku and Bardock, only Justin's smarter.
4. I was originally going to make this chapter a two parter, but then I said "ah screw it, I'll just keep it as one chapter".
Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter and will be looking forward to more in the future