Memories of a stranger, Chapter 8
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Jay drove along the well known gravel road. He could hardly wait until he could finally see the house. He glanced over at Fiora, who was looking out the window with interest. Then finally, the old log house came into view and Jay turned onto the property that had belonged to his grandfather and was now used by his dad from time to time. Will had checked for him to see if the house was currently empty, since he hadn't had any contact with his father in ages.
"Wow." Fiora exclaimed. She seemed to like it. "It's beautiful!"
"Wait until you see the garden and the river.", he himself was also excited.
He parked the car and they got out. Fiora carefully breathed in the autumn air. He was pleased that she seemed to like it here. She walked slowly towards the entrance. He grabbed one of their bags and followed her. He would get the second bag later. For now, he wanted to go inside and show her around.
/
Fiora followed him into the building and the first thing that caught her eye, was the large glass front in the back of the living room. Outside was a wild garden, surrounded by trees. The leaves were slowly turning color and she immediately felt at home. She also liked the rustic furnishings of the cabin.
"What do you say?", he asked proudly.
"It´s great...", she answered and went further inside. "The view is so beautiful!"
He smiled and walked past her to open the sliding door, that led to the outside. She could hear the water of the nearby river and various bird calls.
"Okay. We'll stay longer.", she said and he laughed.
She followed him outside. A small path led to a hut, where they stored some wood. Then, further back, they reached the river. A small dock provided the perfect place to perch. She turned around and looked at the house from here. It was just perfect.
/
After Jay and Fiora had recovered a bit from the drive, Jay had suggested that they´d take another short drive into town, to get the necessities for the next few days.
He really liked the place and the surrounding area. Everything here had its own charm and he felt comfortable here. Of course, visits to the places he had used to visit with his family always brought back some wistful memories, but by now he felt he could handle them better.
He was pleased that Fiora seemed to feel at ease here as well. She carried a small bag with her camera with her and took pictures of whatever came in front of her lens. He was surprised and pleased to get to know this side of her as well. He had initially feared, that Woods had managed to take all of her passions from her. But she seemed to be doing surprisingly well, especially in the last few days.
Later, they had prepared something for dinner and had planned to end the evening quietly.
"Will you show me some of your photos?", he asked.
Surprised, she looked at him. She probably hadn't expected him to be interested. "Yes, of course. I have an Instagram account if you want to look at some pictures."
"Really?" he laughed. "I didn't think you were the social media type."
"It makes me happy when others like the pictures. Besides... You can be anonymous. That's what I like about it."
"You never thought about doing this professionally?"
She shook her head. "No, the pictures aren't that good. I do it, because it makes me feel good... the little details are important... you always try to get the perfect picture, you know?"
He eyed her, feeling his affection for her increase, as she opened up more and more to him. He couldn't help but walk over to her. He circled the table and offered her his hand.
"Come with me, I want to show you something.", he said.
She grabbed his hand and he walked her to the patio door. By now it was pitch dark outside, but that was exactly what he wanted to show her. They walked outside and she first turned her gaze to the starry night sky.
"Wow...", she said softly.
He put his hand on her cheek and she looked at him. "Look at the meadow.", he said and he turned around, so he could look in the right direction.
She did the same. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness, but then, after a few seconds she saw it...
"Fireflies!", Fiora exclaimed in surprise. "Oh my God!"
Jay laughed softly. He had loved watching the little dots of light as a child.
"I've never seen any before!", she exclaimed as she watched them with excitement. "This is amazing. Look, over there!"
He put his arm around her and rejoiced the moment with her.
/
"Those stupid Mosquitoes!", Fiora grumbled when they had returned back inside. "I could have stayed outside for hours. By tomorrow night, I really need to figure out how to photograph the fireflies... I need something for long exposure on my cell phone... An App. Can we go into town tomorrow afternoon, so I can get on the internet? There's really no reception out here." Fiora looked at Jay excitedly and he just smiled. "What?", she asked.
"I don't think I've ever heard you talk that much.", he said with a grin.
Uncertain, she looked at him. "Is that bad?"
"Oh, God, no!", he laughed, coming over to her. "It's nice to finally have you back... The real you."
She smiled and gave him a quick kiss. "Thanks for this.", she said.
He waved it off. Smiling, he walked back to the dining table. "I'm afraid the food is cold now.", he said.
"Never mind.", she also took her seat and started to continue eating.
"Do you realize, that we haven't had a single real date yet?", he asked all at once.
"I think we're past that by now, aren't we?", she raised her eyebrows.
"Tomorrow night.", he decided, "We're going out for dinner. To a sinfully expensive restaurant..."
"Let's go to a regular restaurant," she interrupted him. "Pizza or pasta, that's nice."
He stopped her by raising a hand. "...to a sinfully expensive... Italian restaurant.", he continued. "We´ll talk all evening about our plans for the future. After that, we know that we want two dogs. And a house, like this one."
"Cats.", she said, smiling.
He eyed her, searching for an appropriate answer, but then he gave up. "Cats? Don't you like dogs?"
"I love dogs, but you have to walk them all the time!"
"Then you´ll be happy to get rid of me for a while, when I walk the dogs!"
"You´d walk them?", she propped her chin in her hand and laughed. "Oh God, what are we doing here?"
"We're making plans, I told you!"
She decided to play along. "Okay. One dog, one cat. How does that sound?"
"Good! I'm open to negotiations.", he smiled.
"And where would your dream house be located?", she asked.
"Well, here, of course!"
"And if it should be in Chicago?"
"Evanston. Near the lake."
"You do know that the houses there cost a million dollars and up?"
"So what? We're just dreaming!"
"You seem to have given that a lot of thought... Okay, if we're just dreaming, then I´d want a garden. One like this one.", she said.
"With a Pool?"
"No Pool, we´d have the lake right outside our front door!" she pointed out.
He laughed softly and nodded. "Kids?", he then asked and looked at her.
She blinked and avoided his gaze the next moment. Of course, he had no idea that she couldn't have children...
"No.", she said quickly, not wanting to spoil the mood. "I'm too old for children."
He, however, had noticed her reaction and stood up. With one step he was with her, taking one of her hands and pulling her up.
"Okay... Enough daydreaming for one day...", he said, putting an arm around her waist and gently pushing her over to the couch. "The rest will follow tomorrow."
She took a seat and he kissed her immediately after he, too, sat down. He buried his hand in her hair, then he gently ran it along her neck. Gently, he pulled at the collar of her shirt and then he covered her skin with more kisses.
She was surprised, but let herself be carried away by the feeling that his touch caused in her. She closed her eyes and she felt the passion awakening in her body. When she opened her eyes again, she let her gaze wander to him.
In the corner of her eye, however, she saw a light approaching the house from the garden side. She startled and her entire body tensed. She pushed Jay away from her. He looked at her in consternation and sat up.
"There's someone out there!", she said, out of breath.
Jay turned his head and rose from the couch. He walked over next to the front door, where he´d left their emptied bags. He reached inside and Fiora recognized, that he took out his pistol.
"Stay here, get behind the couch.", he said, then he hid the pistol behind his leg and went to the patio door.
The light was getting closer by now, someone was using the small path from the river. Jay opened the patio door and stopped in the opening.
"Can I help you?", he called out, unable to make out who was outside.
Fiora could hear the Stranger's reply. "Will, is that you?", a man called out.
She immediately breathed a sigh of relief, because it was obviously someone the family knew.
"Mister Jenkins!", replied Jay immediately. "No, it's me. Jay, the brother."
"Jay Halstead? I haven't seen you around here in years!"
"No, Sir... It's been a while. We're just here for the weekend."
"Just wanted to make sure, that no kids snuck in here and had a party.", the man said. "Promised your dad I'd keep an eye on the house while it's empty."
"That's great, thanks Mister Jenkins!", Jay exclaimed. "Are you going down for some night fishing?"
"Plan to... It's a clear night... let's hope they bite well."
"Good luck then. And good night.", Jay concluded the conversation and finally pulled the patio door shut again. He came back into the living room and put the gun on a shelf. Then he came over to her. "It's all good," he said. "Just the neighbor..."
"I'm sorry...", she said. "I panicked for a second."
"No one knows we're here. We're safe here.", he gently said. "It´s alright. Come on... let's clean up the kitchen and then let´s go to sleep, shall we?"
She nodded and followed him, as she watched the light outside get further and further away.
/
They got up late the next morning and Jay was glad, that Fiora still seemed to be comfortable in seclusion, despite their evening visitor. After breakfast, he had suggested that he´d do some fishing down by the dock, while she had spent what felt like hours walking around in the garden and the area with her camera. Eventually, she had joined him and they had enjoyed the nature surrounding them. After a while, a fish had actually bitten, but it had been so small, that Fiora had insisted on throwing it back into the river.
Now they had returned from their visit to the restaurant and were sitting on the couch, full and satisfied. Fiora had used the time in town to download several Apps to her smartphone. She wanted to photograph the Fireflies by tomorrow evening, because it had started to rain lightly. Jay had lit the fireplace and the warmth was starting to make him sleepy.
"That was a really nice day.", she said, as she leaned against him and gazed into the diminishing flames.
"For me, too.", he replied. "But I'm getting tired... Shall we go to bed?"
She nodded and got up to go to the bathroom, before he did.
/
Fiora had really enjoyed the day. She was lying in bed next to Jay, who was already sound asleep. She could hardly believe how normal and natural it felt. How they were interacting with each other... it fit.
She had thought about what it would mean to share an apartment with him in everyday life. But she was aware, that it was much too early for such a consideration. Besides, she knew this here was nothing like their life in Chicago.
When Jay had fully recovered, he would be experiencing things on a daily basis, that she probably couldn't even imagine. How would he handle things then? She had only briefly experienced how impulsive he could be, how anger could take a hold on him.
And she didn't know herself how her life in Chicago would turn out. Where would she find an apartment? Would she continue to work at the 21st Precinct or should she look for another job? They both still had to find out all of that and that would take time. For now, she wanted to enjoy the remaining hours with him, before everyday life caught up with them.
Jay turned over to his uninjured side in his sleep and he mumbled something. He buried his hand under the pillow. She regarded him for a moment and she was startled, when he suddenly winced. He turned on his back again and continued to mumble while he shook his head. She realized that he was having a nightmare.
She sat up carefully. Some movements were still difficult and it took her a moment to lean over to him. She put a hand on his shoulder, to wake him up. The moment she touched him, he startled and sat up. Within the next second he grabbed her arm, held it tightly and stared at her. Then he squeezed, his grip getting harder and Fiora tried to free herself, when it started to hurt. She realized that he hadn't woken up, that he was still trapped in his nightmare.
"Jay! Wake up!", she felt panic rise in her, as she couldn't get loose. "It's me! Jay!"
Then finally, he seemed to wake up. He blinked and then, he let go of her immediately.
"I'm sorry...", he said abruptly. He turned away and slid off the mattress. He stood up and walked around for a few moments. "Did I hurt you?"
She shook her head. Heart pounding, she watched him, then she got off the bed as well. "Are you okay?", she asked.
"That shouldn't have happened... I'm sorry.", he said, running his hand through his hair, "Not here..."
"You had a nightmare. You can't control that...", she walked towards him, but he backed away.
"I... I'll be right back.", he said and walked past her, out of the room.
She was left alone, not knowing what she could do to help him.
/
Jay went into the kitchen, poured himself a glass of water and sat down at the kitchen table. He propped his head in his hand and closed his eyes. Why had the nightmare caught him here? He was happy here, so why?
He cursed himself for grabbing Fiora, but it was a reflex that he had been trained to have. He would never be able to put that damned time behind him.
He felt the guilt working its way up. He had hurt her...
"Jay?"
She was here... Why hadn't she stayed in the bedroom? He didn't want her to see him like this. He lifted his head and looked at her.
"Fi, go back to bed, I'm fine.", he said.
"No, you're not.", she replied and she just stood there. She eyed him and he looked away. "Talk to me, please?"
"I don't want to talk.", he took a sip from his glass. "Please, go."
"Remember what I told you at the Precinct?", she came closer. "You can talk to me about it."
"But I don't want to.", he hated himself for pushing her away with his words, but he wanted to be alone right now.
"I also told you that I wouldn't push you. But I'm here, okay?"
He nodded and took another sip of water. Finally, she turned and walked away.
As she went away, he immediately felt bad and he stood up. He ran after her. She had just reached the door to the bedroom, when he caught up with her. He put his hand on her shoulder.
"I'm sorry.", he said, and she turned to him. "It's... I don't understand why it happened. It's been two good days and it just shouldn´t happen here..."
He felt the tears coming and he put his hand in front of his eyes. She reached for him and pulled him close. The touch loosened the last barricades that he had tried to keep up and he embraced her. They stood there and she waited patiently, until he´d calmed down and until he broke away from her. He shivered as he walked over to the couch and sat down. She followed him and waited if he would say anything. He wiped the tears from his face.
"It's the same dream over and over again.", he said in a strained voice. "This one dream... it always plays out the same way and I'm always too late."
"Is it how it happened there?", she asked softly.
He nodded. "She died... And a Comrade, a friend...", he said. "I could have stopped her..."
"Somtimes, you can´t control things..."
He looked at her. "I didn't think humans were capable of such things until then."
She just nodded and pulled him closer again. He was glad she didn't ask further. That she didn't want to know any details. He didn't want to talk about it any further.
"Hey, lie down here," she said. "I'll make you some tea. I'll be right over there."
She walked into the kitchen and he let himself slide to the side. He pulled his legs up onto the couch and he closed his eyes. He was exhausted.
/
When Fiora returned to the couch, Jay was already fast asleep. She was glad that he had calmed down. She hoped that he would be better in the morning. With the cup in her hand, she took a seat on one of the armchairs and looked at him thoughtfully.
She herself had fortunately not had any nightmares since the recent incident with Woods. What Jay had experienced in Afghanistan, must had been so drastic, that it still tormented him so much years later. The little he had told her had already shocked her, but she was sure there were much worse events than the ones that he even talked about.
She wondered if he sought medical assistance from time to time. She didn't know if she should approach him about it, though. She decided to wait for the next day to see, if he wanted to talk about it. She went back into the bedroom and pulled the blanket off the bed. She put it on him, while she returned to the armchair. A little later, she had also fallen asleep and when she woke up, it was already dawning outside.
Jay was no longer lying on the couch, so she got up and looked around. He wasn't in the bathroom or the bedroom. Then she noticed, that the patio door was ajar. She wrapped herself in the blanket, that was lying on the couch. Then she walked over to the patio door and slipped outside.
She saw that Jay was sitting on the little dock, looking out at the river. There was a dog sitting next to him. She had no idea who it belonged to or where it had come from, but the picture that presented itself to her, was beautiful. The sun was just rising and bathed everything in a golden light. Some mist still hung over the grass and the dew glistened on the tips of the small, wild flowers.
She quickly went back inside, put away the blanket and got her camera. She went back outside, walked a few steps forward and then she carefully crouched down to get the grass and the flowers in the photo. She looked at her camera's display and waited for the lens to focus. Then she pulled the trigger. The picture was beautiful and she smiled, as she looked at it. She placed the camera on the edge of the patio and took the wooden steps down. Slowly, she approached Jay on the gravel path. The dog noticed her first, jumped up and came running towards her happily. It was a brown Mixed breed dog, about knee-high with tousled fur. When it reached her, she laughed softly and slowly crouched down to pet the dog.
"That's Wilson!", she heard Jay, as he came up to her. "He's Mr. Jenkins' dog. Always hungry, hangs around here."
She smiled at him. "Good morning."
"Good morning to you.", he squatted down as well and took over fondling the dog. He laughed, as Wilson licked across his face. "It's okay...", he said to the little guy.
"He seems to like you.", she laughed.
"Wilson seems to like everybody, if old Jenkins is to be believed. He eats his way through the whole neighborhood."
"Speaking of which. We've got some leftover meat in the fridge..."
"Wilson will adore you.", he said, rising and indicating to the dog to follow him.
Fiora watched them, until they disappeared in the house.
/
Jay watched as Wilson pounced on the meat that he had set out for him on a plate. Fiora also came back in and put her camera on the countertop in the kitchen.
"Are you feeling better?", she asked cautiously.
He looked at her and nodded. "I can only keep apologizing for what happened.", he said.
He still felt bad about the incident.
"We both know, it's not your fault.", she replied. "There's nothing to apologize for."
"The last thing I want to do, is hurt you.", he lowered his head.
"I know... nothing happened."
He fell silent.
"Breakfast?", she asked after a moment. "What good can I do for you?"
He looked at her again. He could hardly believe, that she wasn´t reproaching him. He felt himself slowly relaxing again.
"I should do something good for you.", he then said and went to the coffee machine.
/
They had spent their last day in the cabin, quite relaxed. Fiora was glad that Jay had been able to enjoy the day after all, despite the incident during the night. He had finally managed to catch a fish of an acceptable size and they had prepared it for dinner.
Fiora had managed to take some pictures of the Fireflies that evening, which made her very happy.
She´d almost suggested to him to stay a few days longer, but their life in Chicago was calling them back and she knew, that they had to return back to reality.
/
Jay steered the car off the highway and merged into the flowing traffic. They were already on their way back to Chicago and they had just passed the city limits.
"Home sweet home.", he muttered when he had to stop at a traffic light.
That night, Fiora and he had grown even a little closer, even though they didn´t have Sex, due to both of their injuries. He was sure, however, that Fiora would be able to put the traumatic experiences behind her and that she would hopefully become completely involved with him. But not only for this reason he would have loved to stay away with her for a few days longer. He had really enjoyed their time together and the peace and quiet.
"Shall we grab a quick bite and then head back to my place?" she suggested at that moment.
He nodded, as he refocused on the traffic. "Good idea."
They stopped at a Diner and he was glad to stretch his legs after the long drive. They ate and arrived at Fiora's apartment building shortly after. He parked the car and they took the elevator upstairs.
Outside her apartment door, lay some advertising brochures and a small package. He bent down and took the things inside, while she followed him. Inside, he flopped down on the couch first and he put the advertising and the package on the table.
"Shall we turn back around and go back to Wisconsin?" she jokingly asked from the kitchen, while she got them something to drink.
"Oh yeah...", he was already tired of the big city noise and it would take him a while to get used to it again.
She handed him a soft drink and sat down next to him. "It was so nice. We'll have to do this again soon."
"Absolutely.", he opened the bottle and took a sip.
Fiora put her own bottle on the table and took the stack of advertisements to herself. She flipped through them and put the brochures aside. Then she took the package and turned it over. It was unlabeled.
"Maybe something from the neighbors...", she muttered. She pulled off the tape and flipped open the box.
Jay could just make out some paper, that had been placed as the top layer of the contents. Then a click was heard. Within the next moment, a bright white light blinded him as the package exploded in Fiora's hands. He heard a deafening bang and felt himself thrown to the side by the force of the detonation. He crashed into the nearest wall and immediately lost consciousness.
/