Bella had joined in with the planned sleepover with as much good humour as she could manage, considering the active and sometimes disquieting day she'd had. She let Alice give her a manicure and pedicure, as promised. She tried to return the favour, apologizing for a less steady hand with the nail polish than a vampire would be capable of. She let Alice and Esme provide her with what was apparently called an up-do, which they then agreed was not her look. She joined the other three in the viewing of a pre-selected romantic comedy, one that was less obnoxious than most, and participated in the running commentary that seemed to be an accepted part of the entertainment.

She even, reluctantly, let Alice try to teach her how to do the Big Apple, finally giving it up as hopeless, but very much enjoying the performance of the dance by the other three. She applauded wildly as it concluded. "You guys are great! I wish I could do that."

"We'll try it again next year," Alice said casually.

"Next year?"

"Sure, after your newborn period is done."

It struck Bella that there would be a time in the near future when she would be as quick and graceful as any of them. It was a stunning thought.

Fatigue began to set in around midnight, and although Alice laughingly called her a spoilsport, they all accepted that the human needed her sleep. To Bella's surprise, all three of her hostesses accompanied her upstairs, like an entourage. "There have been some changes to Edward's room," Esme explained. "We wanted to see what you thought of them." She saw what they meant as soon as they walked through the door. The furniture had been rearranged to make room for an enormous, ornate bed, made up with a gold coloured spread and half a dozen pillows.

"Wow! I thought I would just sleep on the couch." Bella stared at the huge bed.

"Edward would never stand for that," Esme assured her. "He wanted you to be comfortable."

Bella recalled grimly that she was originally meant to be comfortable in her incarceration, but politely thanked them. Alice provided her with new pyjamas made from sky blue silk, Bella wished them all a good night, and found herself instantly alone as they flitted from the room. She settled into the bed, finding it to indeed be very comfortable. She began planning what she was going to say to Edward when he returned, but fell asleep after only a few minutes.

She woke to find weak sunlight sneaking through the curtains. She stretched luxuriously, then realizing it was morning, abruptly sat up and looked around. Edward was there, seated in a corner of the room, smiling tentatively at her. "Hi," she whispered.

His smile widened. "Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

"I did." She looked around. "What time is it?"

"Seven forty-two."

"I'm glad you're back."

His face finally relaxed entirely. "I'm very happy to be back. I missed you."

"I missed you too." She sat cross-legged. "Did you have a good hunt?"

"Adequate." He rose and moved cautiously toward her. Realizing he was uncertain of his welcome, she held out her arms, and he was beside her instantly, an arm around her waist. "And you? Did you have a good evening?"

"It was fun. A bit hair-raising at times."

He shrugged. "I heard a little about it. I hope they didn't alarm you."

"Not really. And the bed was very comfortable and sleep inducing." She examined the elaborate scrollwork of the headboard. "Where did you ever get such a thing? And why?"

"Esme helped me arrange it. As to why, it was so you would have a place to sleep when you were here."

Bella's first impulse was to object, to say it was too extravagant, unnecessary; but for once, she saw what was behind the gesture, and didn't want to rebuff such an act; so she simply said, "Thank you."

"It was my pleasure.

"The only problem with sleeping here was that I was all alone." She drew closer, and rested her head against his shoulder. "I'm not used to that any more."

He returned her kiss, then, to her pleased surprise, pulled her down with him onto the mattress. "I regret my absence."

"You could make up for it now," she suggested hopefully, snuggling closer so they were lying on their sides, pressed together.

Monitoring his movements carefully, Edward returned her embrace, making no objection when she impulsively hooked a leg over his as she kissed him. Alert to any break in his control, he let his own hands roam over the silky fabric covering her shoulders, her arms; even allowed himself to briefly run a hand down to the knee arced over him. All the while, he basked in the maddening sensation of her hands caressing him, her lips on his, the pressure of her warm body against his own. As he stroked her back, feeling the delicate bones and muscles, he reached the hem of her pyjama top and boldly slid a hand underneath, touching bare skin. She gave a moaning sigh and moved her lips to his neck. Electricity ran through every inch of his body.

Turning her carefully onto her back, he held himself just above her, sprinkling soft kisses over her chin and neck, as she gripped his hair as if to keep him from running away. Determined to push past his own reserve, he allowed his hand to rove. He lightly stroked her throat, her shoulder; when he reached the soft space just beneath her collarbone, she inhaled sharply, and he stopped. "Is this all right?" he whispered. She nodded, and reminding himself once again to be gentle and cautious, he moved lower and delicately cupped her breast in his palm. As before, it was a small thing, but felt momentous. Her heart pounded and she clutched him fiercely, while he was outwardly calm, but within, a storm of fear, desire, and elation.

As Bella shyly reached for his top shirt button, he froze. The excitement flowing through his body dragged him like a runaway horse, but other impulses were a little stronger. Careful not to push her away or reject her too suddenly or harshly, he once again slowly scaled down their embrace. She gave a whine of protest and tried to cling to him. "Please, Bella," he whispered, "I'm just...not ready. Please give me some time."

Finding she could hardly refuse such a request, however disagreeable, she reluctantly released him. He sat immobile on the bed a moment, trying to lock away his feelings, something that had once been effortless but now seemed like an endless game of emotional whack-a-mole. Bella's breathing finally slowed, and she said, in a casual tone that didn't fool him at all, "Well, I'd better get up and start getting dressed and all."

He turned to her, took her hand. "I'm sorry, love."

"Don't be," she said. "I wouldn't try to force you into something you don't want."

He seized her other hand. "Never think I don't want you, Bella. I'm...it's...very much the opposite. I just..." he smiled wryly, "...have issues."

"I see." She clearly did not.

"I'll explain to you, I promise. For now, please go ahead with your morning routine."

"All right." She rose and headed for the bathroom. "Maybe a cold shower." She caught his eye impishly.

Relieved she could joke, he warned, "That could be a great shock to the system, especially one that's already overheated."

She rolled her eyes. "Tepid, then."

He hastily pushed away an image of her under the water...of himself joining her there. "While you're doing that, I'll make you breakfast."

"Thanks." She left the room, and he fled downstairs to the kitchen.

Bella thanked him again as she sat down to a perfect omelette and fresh fruit. Edward took a seat across from her while she was eating. "Where is everyone?" she asked. The house seemed to be deserted.

"Running various errands. Partly in order to give us some privacy."

"Oh?"

"I believe you told me we needed to talk, assuming Alice passed the message on accurately." She nodded, her mouth full. "Perhaps I should have dealt with that immediately; but I was only too happy to delay."

She swallowed. "I can imagine."

"All right. Let me have it."

"I will. But you can't distract me."

"Whatever do you mean?" He grinned playfully.

"You know what I mean. It isn't fair. Do you really not want to hear what I have to say?"

"Of course I do."

"Then you can't use trickery to deflect, or shut me up." Seeing him about to object, she added, "You know you do it, Edward." She added a little bitterly, "Why should you go on listening to my opinions, when you already know best about everything?" He looked startled at that, and she amended, "I'm sorry, that was a little harsh; I'm upset."

"So I see. This is about the weekend plans?"

"Partly about that."

"Very well. I will do nothing to interfere or deflect."

"Let's start with this. You bribed Alice to kidnap me and hold me captive for the weekend."

He frowned. "Well...bribed may be overstating matters."

"You bought her a new car!"

"That's no more than a token gesture." At her incredulous look, he explained, "Alice has access to the Cullen funds, just as the rest of us do. She could buy herself a car, or ten cars, if she wanted to. I went to the trouble of finding one meeting her specifications - with custom colour, since her preferred shade of yellow wasn't available except by special order - and gave it to her to thank her, since she was reluctant to help with, er, my request. Besides, she enjoys getting things as gifts, even if they're bought from the common pool."

Bella avoided thinking about the formidable amount of money the family had at its disposal. "Okay, maybe we can omit the bribing part. That just leaves having me abducted and held prisoner."

He avoided her gaze uneasily. "It was meant to protect you, love."

"I know. But it doesn't excuse anything you might do to me, just because you label it protection. Disable my truck, lock me up...it's just wrong, Edward!"

"Bella, you know I don't interfere in your activities normally. I wouldn't dream of stopping you from visiting your other friends from school, for example. But this is a different situation, and an extreme one. You would be among werewolves - powerful, dangerous beings."

"They're friends of mine, Edward; I've known Jake and his dad since I was a baby."

"Yes, but Jacob, and the others, are no longer the same. They are not only incredibly strong, they are erratic. One of them seriously injured a young woman, entirely by accident. He became emotional, spontaneously changed to werewolf form while she was nearby. He didn't intend to harm her, but the danger is always there."

"How do you know about this accident?" Edward tapped his forehead. "Oh. Okay, I understand, some caution is advisable. But an entire community live near them, and aren't in constant danger. It sounds like a freak accident."

Edward began pacing in agitation. "You're so nonchalant about your own safety! It drives me insane!"

"People take a chance just going outside every morning. I can't let you lock me in a cell for your own peace of mind."

"But do you have to do such dangerous things?"

"Edward, I go to school, to my part time job, and here. That's my electrifying, death-defying daily schedule. Do homework, clean house and cook for Charlie..."

"Make out with a vampire," he muttered. She laughed, and he reluctantly joined in.

"Lucky I didn't take an interest in skydiving." Edward's eyes widened in horror at the idea. "I'm not planning to. But I do want to visit Jacob." She brought her dishes to the sink.

Edward sighed. "Shall we take a stroll outside." At her frown, he added, "While we continue our discussion."

"Sure." They went out the back door, into Esme's garden, and walked slowly along the brickwork path, toward the surrounding trees.

"It isn't just the presence of danger," Edward went on, more calmly now. "It's the place itself. It's the one place we can't go, can't come to your aid if you do experience trouble. What's more, it's the one place where Alice can't see your future. We would never know if you were potentially in danger. If you went skydiving," he said, smiling a little, "she could see in advance if there was going to be a problem. That's not the case here. Can you try to appreciate how terrifying that is for me?"

"I think I can understand that," she allowed.

"In a few months, you'll be beyond injury." It was something he told himself often. What a relief it would be, to stop fearing for her safety.

"But once I'm changed, I won't be able to visit there any more. I have to see Jacob now, because I can't afterward."

"Is it so important that you see him?" Edward hesitated even to ask. He questioned his own motives.

"Jake practically saved my life, Edward. He helped me when I wasn't doing so well." Edward dropped his eyes, shame burning at him. It was his fault she had had to rely on this... person for help - his fault for leaving her. "Now he's having a hard time, and I have to do the same. He's my friend, and I owe him. And I think you know, deep down, that it's not as dangerous as you're suggesting."

"Bella, I appreciate your loyalty as a friend, and it's admirable; but...to stand back and let you put yourself in danger...it feels so wrong. It feels as if I"m failing you. I'm supposed to protect you, keep you safe, shield you from terrible things. I've done such a wretched job of it so far, but..." He shook his head, miserable.

Bella had a moment of clarity. All the talk with Alice and Rosalie, about vampires retaining the attitudes and world view they had as humans, suddenly clicked. Edward was born in 1901. Bella had read enough late Victorian fiction to have some idea what that meant, and Edward's behaviour began to make more sense. She hesitated, trying to work out a way to reconcile her views with his. She looked up to find him watching her rather sadly, and she went to him and rested her head on his shoulder a moment. He returned her embrace readily enough, but looked down at her curiously. "Yes," she said, "I'm afraid I have more to say."

"I'm listening." He gently tucked her hair behind her ear, so he could see her face.

She stepped back. "Edward, this may sound hurtful, but it's not intended that way. I just need us to understand each other." He nodded, worried but intrigued. "Whenever you've taken...extreme measures to try and protect me, they didn't usually work out that well. Intervention in clear-cut threats, those went great: stopping a car from crushing me, or fighting off James. But when you decide you have to protect me from...life in general, from everything unpleasant, from something you imagine would corrupt my innocence or offend my feminine delicacy..." he cocked an eye at her slightly sarcastic terminology "...well, it was usually a disaster."

They had wandered beyond the garden, through the surrounding woods - which Bella had once amused Esme by calling 'a prettyish kind of little wilderness' รก la Lady Catherine deBourgh - and now began to gradually turn and walk back. "You have examples in mind, I suppose?"

"Of course. When we first knew each other, and...loved each other..." He smiled at her familiar self-consciousness in saying these words. "...you tried to avoid me altogether, when that was always hopeless."

"Yes, I suppose that effort was doomed from the start." He smiled down at her.

Her expression darkened. "You left me, for my own good. That was terrible for both of us, and didn't, in fact, protect me. Just the opposite."

He looked away. "No argument there." He stopped at a stone bench placed at the edge of the garden, and they sat down together.

Happy to move on from that topic, Bella added, "You still lie to me, hide things from me, to shelter me from anything scary or upsetting." She turned to face him. "That's a disaster too, Edward, or will be."

"Will be?"

"Yes. We're going to be together a long time." She waited for him to acknowledge it. "If I resent these things now, how do you think I'll feel after another century of you being dishonest with me? Covertly making decisions for me, because you know what's best for me? Do you want me to mistrust you? Feel like I'm your inferior?"

"No!" He looked horrifed. "No, of course I don't."

"Then we have to come to an agreement. One that you'll take seriously, and keep - not abandon the first time you think something's bad for me."

Looking thoroughly rattled, Edward replied, "I understand, and I do take this matter seriously, love, very seriously. But...I'll be perfectly honest: it's such a deeply ingrained impulse, to protect and shelter you. It feels all but impossible not to follow it."

"I realize it will be a struggle, and I'm sorry to ask. But Edward, you've always been willing to do anything for me, no matter how hard. You overcame your wish to drink my blood, and that once seemed impossible, didn't it? You forced yourself to leave me, for what you thought was my own good. Can't you find it in yourself to fight this tendency, just as hard? For my sake?"

As Bella had expected, these were the magic words. Presenting his protectiveness as a base inclination of his, one that could harm her; and even more, to ask him to do battle with this tendency, for her sake, was a request that went right to Edward's heart. The prospect of slaying the dragon of his own chivalry, to rescue Bella from the burden of his own obsessive protection, was a challenge which, however paradoxical, he could accept gladly and zealously.

He straightened like a soldier at attention. "Yes, love. I can do that. For you, I can manage it."

"Thank you, Edward."

Notes: I often found Edward's protectiveness presumptuous and overbearing, and thought Bella accepted it much too easily. On the other hand, Bella just wasn't written as a strident, assertive kind of person, and she shouldn't have to be. I thought this provided a nice compromise solution. What do you think?
Their discussion continues in the next chapter.