The next time Kyoka and Izuku were supposed to meet was Friday night. As she waited out the day, barely paying attention in class, Kyoka felt as though she was adrift in an endless ocean, fears rocking her like waves as her thoughts spun in endless circles.
She loved Izuku.
She loved Izuku.
But Kyoka didn't know if she could have him. He was a great hero, known across Japan before he'd even graduated, almost guaranteed to rise to the number one spot soon after he officially joined the ranks of the heroes. He was a living legend at twenty, and she was…barely worth a mention. What claim could she ever make to his heart, or to the man who all Japan knew?
Kyoka knew she didn't envy Izuku all the negative attention that came with his success, but she couldn't help but feel like a silly girl crushing on a celebrity. Why would Izuku ever be interested in her? She was a nobody, someone who would be lucky to ever get her name in a newspaper article after graduation. What about her would ever draw his eye? Nothing, that's what.
And yet, Kyoka didn't care. She loved him, needed him. To hell with what the world assumed about her and about Izuku. Maybe it was selfish, maybe it was silly, but Kyoka wanted Izuku all to herself, even if she was too scared to tell him.
Because she was scared, of how Izuku would react, of what would happen if he didn't return her feelings. Kyoka didn't think she could handle losing him, even the small scraps she got now. Even nighttime visits and quiet moments of vulnerability were too much to risk losing, not when they had so quickly become so important to her.
During a break between classes, Kyoka pulled out her phone, staring at the contact she'd pulled up almost by accident. After a moment's hesitation, Kyoka typed, "We still on for tonight?"
For his part, Izuku was wrapped in his own doubts. All Might may have encouraged him, but could he really risk loving someone when he was as well-known, as big of a target, as he was? Izuku knew that Kyoka was uneasy in the spotlight, with the way that the media only acknowledged her when they needed someone to make fun of. Would she reject him because of fear that dating him would put a glaring spotlight on her that she didn't want? It wasn't an unfounded concern, Izuku knew; he could imagine that the furor surrounding his love life would get ten times worse if anything changed. Kyoka would be well within her rights to deem Izuku too much trouble to be worth it. Maybe she would even be right.
After all, what did Izuku have to offer? Even when his friends told him differently, assured him that anyone would love his heart and his mind, the little quirkless boy in his heart never quite believed it. Izuku had spent too many years being worthless to be sure that he wasn't anymore, just because he had a quirk that wasn't exactly his, anyway. Really, why would Kyoka love him, anyway?
But Izuku had to try to confess to her. She had worked her way too deep into his heart for him to just let her go. Kyoka was his core, the thing he drew on when he most needed to smile, the light in his soul that he couldn't let go out. If only he knew how to tell her, then. How on earth was Izuku supposed to do this? Would Kyoka ever return his feelings, or was he being the world's biggest fool for believing that her blushes and her tender words might indicate that she felt something for him, too? This was too risky; if Kyoka didn't feel the same way, Izuku didn't know if he could stay together. He loved her too much.
Then, Izuku remembered Uraraka's words, the ones that had rung truer than he'd ever admit.
"There will always be a risk," Izuku's first, best friend had told him, "but love is worth it."
Izuku was jarred out of his thoughts by his phone going off. Yanking it out, he stared at a text that raised a million possibilities.
If Kyoka wanted to see him tonight, Izuku would never say no. He was hers, no matter what, for as long as she would have him.
In reply, he told her, "Of course we are."
Now, they just had to wait, until they were in their safe place once again. In the night, in that room, there was no outside world weighing down on them, and nothing could stay hidden, not forever.
By the time night fell, Kyoka was half-mad with anxiety.
Her heart beat wildly, the tempo too fast for even the greatest drummer to keep for long. Kyoka couldn't explain why this meeting felt...different, somehow, as though the familiarity of their quiet talks had deepened into something that left her gasping for breath whenever Izuku wasn't here to complete her. Kyoka had managed to get over her awkwardness about having Izuku in her room weeks ago; now, a new type of awkwardness was bubbling in her gut, a lingering fear of letting Izuku so close to her when she wasn't able to close that final inch of distance between them.
Kyoka felt so much desire whenever she looked at Izuku nowadays, it felt as though there was a fire roaring deep inside her, and the only way to stop it was for her to pounce on Izuku and demand that he…
Kyoka breathed deeply, trying to escape the images her mind conjured, images she wanted so badly to be real that her face turned bright red just imagining it.
"Focus, Kyoka," she told herself, "now is not the time to fantasize about Izuku. You need to talk to him."
There was a knock at the door, and Kyoka ran to get it faster than she probably should have. She opened the door to see Izuku looking back at her, and she couldn't suppress the smile that spread across her face.
"Hey, Izuku," she greeted him.
Izuku looked back at her, returning her smile, but there was something in his eyes that seemed guarded, as though he was holding something back, trying to protect something. "Hey, Kyoka," he replied as Kyoka let him in.
Kyoka had never realized how good she'd gotten at reading Izuku's expressions until he sat down and she could see the unease there, unease he was clearly trying to hide.
"Izuku, is something wrong?" she asked, trying to ignore how soft and tender her voice became around him.
He answered, "No, I'm fine."
Kyoka didn't believe him, not quite. She was an expert on hiding conflicted feelings, and Izuku's eyes spoke of distress. She challenged, "Is this the kind of "fine" I was the first time we talked, or are you actually fine?"
Izuku shifted uncomfortably, only to flash her a smile as he responded, "I'm okay, really, Kyoka."
Kyoka wondered what he was thinking, because she didn't believe it for a second. She knew him too well, had become too good at reading Izuku's gentle eyes. She knew when his smile was fake, and right now, it was the fakest she'd ever seen.
Meanwhile, Izuku was on the verge of screaming aloud. Why had he thought this was a good idea? Kyoka was right there, a few feet from him, and he couldn't control himself. Izuku hadn't realized how comfortable he and Kyoka were in each other's personal spaces until now, when the punk girl, upon opening the door, leaned forwards until Izuku could have reached out and cupped her elfin face in his hands. Once he'd had that thought, it was all Izuku wanted to do, and it was driving him wild.
Kyoka looked at him, worry in her eyes. She told him, "Izuku, you know that you can talk to me, right? Whatever's bothering you, I can help."
Taking a deep breath, Izuku said, "Really, Kyoka, you don't need to worry."
Kyoka didn't look convinced, but she knew that she couldn't dig it out of him if he didn't want to talk about it. Instead, she asked, "So, what do you wanna talk about tonight?"
Izuku thought for a long moment. He wanted to tell her tonight, had to tell her. But he couldn't just blurt it out, with no idea how she'd react. Besides, he had so many fears about this, about what might happen, and the girl in front of him had always been good at scaring them off. Maybe he could let their conversation flow naturally, and if he got the chance, he could tell her.
So Izuku began, "I've been thinking, lately…"
"Thinking about what?" Kyoka prompted, wondering if there was a way she could confess, a way for her to tell Izuku just how much she loved him.
His voice quiet and powerful in the night, Izuku replied, "About love."
Kyoka froze; her mind spun in circles as all her idle wishes suddenly seemed possible. Her face went bright red, but she desperately tried to keep her embarrassment under control
"W-what about love?" she stammered, not quite meeting his eyes.
Ignoring the way his stomach churned with anxiety, Izuku explained, "There aren't a lot of hero couples out there. I was just...wondering why, I guess."
Kyoka tapped her chin thoughtfully, letting herself get lost in the question to distract herself from how being this close to Izuku was supercharging everything she felt for him.
After a moment, she answered, "Well, I guess it's pretty dangerous, being a hero and being in a relationship at the same time."
"But why would that stop people? Heroes deal with danger all the time," Izuku pointed out.
Kyoka couldn't argue against that; she knew it was true.
"Well, then, what do you think?" she asked.
Izuku replied, "I'm...not sure. Really, I don't know anything about love."
"Except that I'm in love with you," he added silently, unwilling to add it just yet.
Kyoka's heart melted just a little at that, at the man she loved feeling that he didn't know anything. He did, though, more than he knew; how else could Kyoka have fallen for him, except through his own actions?
She encouraged, "Give it a wild guess, Izuku."
"Okay," Izuku sighed, his doubts chased away just by Kyoka's smile and her gentle words, "I will."
Then, he mused, "I think...it's because love is dangerous."
Kyoka's heart twinged in perfect understanding; she knew exactly what he meant, how easily love could break you if something went wrong. Still, she wasn't quite sure what Izuku was talking about.
"What do you mean?" Kyoka asked, edging a little closer to Izuku, seemingly without even realizing it.
Looking at her, straight in her eye, Izuku explained, "Love is...it's distracting, and overpowering, and it can consume you so easily. For heroes...I think that's dangerous, too dangerous for most of them. Love takes you off your game, leaves your weaknesses exposed. So...most heroes just don't, I guess."
Kyoka's heart fell as she agreed with his words. Izuku was right; if he wanted to be the greatest hero of them all, he could harbor no weakness, allow no distractions. She would just be another distraction to him, not strong enough to defend herself, always requiring his help. She didn't deserve to be by his side; she couldn't cut it there. It was all her worst fears and biggest doubts, confirmed at once.
Bitterly, Kyoka said, "Then why does anyone ever bother with love, if it only makes you weaker?"
Izuku remembered when he'd asked the same question, and the answer he'd gotten. He remembered the women who had given him that answer, who became greater than the sum of their parts, together. At last, Izuku had his answer, something he could share.
"Because," he replied, his voice swelling with faith as he kept going, "love is worth it. Having someone you care about that much, someone who sees every part of you...it's worth the fear and the pain and knowing that you're weak."
Kyoka's Brain froze in its tracks. That was not what she had expected from him, that kind of belief. The conviction in Izuku's voice, in his eyes, chased away the things she thought she'd known, the bitterness that had settled over her like a blanket. In its wake, Kyoka had a realization of her own.
"Izuku, I don't think you're quite right," she heard herself say, surprised at the certainty of her own tone.
Izuku reeled in sudden surprise as Kyoka spoke, his own feelings suddenly thrown into chaos again as the woman who he trusted with his heart shared the thoughts of her own.
Seeing the confusion on Izuku's face, Kyoka continued, "Love doesn't make you weaker. It doesn't...it isn't a distraction, or a source of pain and fear. Love...love is the opposite of all those things. Love makes you stronger."
Kyoka was speaking from experience. Whenever she was afraid, whenever she wasn't sure that she could keep going, she imagined Izuku by her side. The thought of him, of his strength behind her, of his smile and his soft eyes when he looked at her, the same eyes he had at that moment, always made her feel invincible, like she could take on an army.
If love made her weaker, then Kyoka had never been in love, and she knew that to be wrong, more deeply and entirely than she'd ever known anything before.
Izuku realized it, too; his own fears vanished like smoke in the wind. He remembered his final battle against Shigaraki, how Kyoka's smile had been the memory he'd clung to as he struck the final blow.
How had he not realized it then?
All Izuku could say was, "I...you're right, Kyoka."
Kyoka just smiled softly at him, trying to ignore the way her heart screamed for her to hold him tight, for her to stop hiding her feelings from the boy she loved. Despite herself, she leaned closer to him, her blush barely under control.
"Thank you," she joked, "I have to say, for someone who isn't in a relationship, you sure do know a lot about love."
Izuku jumped, and he chuckled, "Y-yeah, I guess I do."
"Come on," Izuku told himself, "confess! Tell her how you feel!"
At the same time, Kyoka was screaming internally, "Just tell him you love him! You're right there!"
Finally, it all came to a head. Kyoka began, "Izuku, I…" at the same time as Izuku said, "Kyoka, can I tell you…"
The two cut themselves off as they realized that they'd started talking simultaneously. Blushing furiously, they struggled to make eye contact for a few moments.
Then, Izuku said, "Kyoka, you go first."
Kyoka shook her head. "No, no, you go first," she replied.
Izuku smiled sheepishly, but he realized something with a jolt.
The moment had passed; he'd been ready to say it, and then his willpower had vanished once again. Now, all his fears and doubts clawed at him once again, and he couldn't go through with it. His mouth wouldn't form the words.
Izuku sighed in defeat, hating himself, and told her, "It's nothing. Never mind."
Kyoka said nothing, her own fears dragging her away from what she wanted once again. She couldn't risk it, couldn't bear to reveal her deepest thoughts like this, even to the man she would have trusted with her very soul. It was too risky, too terrifying to lay out how deeply she felt for him. Maybe she should stop trying, stop wishing that someone as incredible as Izuku would ever love her.
Then, Izuku added, "I should probably be going, anyway."
Izuku knew that it was the most cowardly thing he'd ever done, running away like this. But he couldn't sit here, couldn't stare at the gorgeous face of the woman he didn't deserve any longer. He just wanted to go back to his room, to throw himself down on his bed to beat his fists and curse his own stupidity, his own cowardice.
Izuku stood to leave, and Kyoka still said nothing, lost in her own thoughts, her own memories.
She couldn't let Izuku in; she needed to be strong herself, without relying on others.
Then, she remembered her best friend's words, measured and reassuring in the moments where Kyoka doubted herself.
"Humans aren't built to be alone. We're made to love."
There would be other chances to confess; Kyoka didn't have to do it right now. Maybe she should wait, make sure she was confident that she actually loved Izuku first.
The advice of her mentor returned to her, a man who had watched friends suffer for their fear and never wanted to see it happen again.
"In this line of work, you never know when someone will be taken from you. Grab on to the people you care about and hold them as tight as you can."
And finally, when Kyoka didn't think she had the strength, when she was convinced that she couldn't break through the chains of fear that encircled her, the words of the person she cared about most echoed inside her, lifting her up, making her feel like the strongest, the most beautiful woman in the world.
"I'm not talking about your quirk, Jirou. I'm talking about you. You're far stronger than you think."
That did it; Kyoka knew that she couldn't wait any longer. She refused to let him go.
One way or another, Kyoka would not hide her feelings anymore, would not be scared of love.
Izuku opened her door to leave, the creak as it swung wide a low, rolling note in Kyoka's perfect ear.
He stepped over the threshold with one foot, and Kyoka said in a voice barely above a whisper, "Izuku, wait."
As though by magic, Izuku froze in place, arm across the doorway, his body backlit by the lights of the hallway, a silhouette in black and green.
He turned his face halfway back, still scared to meet Kyoka's eye, scared of what he might find there.
"Yes, Kyoka?" he said, putting a thousand unspoken words into her name, scaring himself with how deeply he loved saying it. He could have said it a thousand times, a million, as many as she wanted.
Kyoka stood up, and looked at the man she loved with all her heart. Standing there, she felt as though the world were frozen, holding its breath in anticipation. The only things that moved were her lips, the only noise the thump-thump-thump of her heart and Izuku's, beating in tandem.
It was the moment of truth, and Kyoka was done letting moments slip away from her. With a deep break, it all came out.
"I love you, Izuku," Kyoka confessed in a voice layered with hope and fear and love more powerful than anything she'd ever experienced.
For a long second, Izuku didn't move, didn't talk, didn't even seem to breathe. Kyoka couldn't see his face, couldn't read his expression. She had no way to know what he was thinking.
The silence stretched on and on, and Kyoka's hopes sank. She slumped, desperately wishing that Izuku would say something, anything, to let her know if her heart could ever be whole again.
At last, he asked quietly, "Is it true?"
Kyoka nodded fiercely, not trusting her voice as her eyes filled with tears, what kind of tears she didn't know. Maybe they were hopeful, or grieving, or desperate.
Whatever they were, Kyoka swallowed them to answer, "Yes, Izuku. It's the truest thing I've ever said, ever felt. I don't know when it started, or when my crush became this...this need for you. If you don't love me back, if you don't feel the same...that's okay. I just...want you to know how much I love you."
Izuku turned to face her fully, and his eyes were beading with tears, too, his whole face shaking along with his voice as he murmured, "As if I could ever not love you, Kyoka."
Before Kyoka could even process what was happening, Izuku moved like lightning. He surged forwards, towards her, into her space, pressing his lips against hers and replacing Kyoka's whole world with himself. Kyoka couldn't even cry out as she grabbed for him to return the kiss with all the fury and passion her heart could contain. Her limbs wrapped around him as his hands encircled her, dragging her closer, making their kiss become something hungrier, more demanding, more all-encompassing. Tears cascaded down their faces together as they kissed, tears of joy and fear and relief.
Izuku's momentum carried both of them deeper into Kyoka's room, towards her bed. They tumbled onto it in a tangle of limbs and bodies and hearts, still locked together forever.
Behind Izuku's back, the door swung shut, and the world began to spin again.
