here have some free sisterly (hehe) fluff

The next time she dropped Anna off at school, her little sister pulled her in for an unexpected hug that made Elsa's mind short-circuit, but she let go before she got a chance to return it.

"Uh… bye!" Anna waved at her and ran off without another word, leaving Elsa standing in the snow, alone, with her mouth agape and a million wordless thoughts gathering at the bottom of her throat.

"...Goodbye," she said to the air, and then sighed, closed her eyes, and turned back to the snowmobile.

"Does Anna seem a bit weird to you?" A male voice next to her asked. Elsa raised her head and found Kristoff standing not far from her. As he approached, he added: "She's acting even weirder than usual"

"What do you mean?" Elsa inquired.

His eyes were glued to the school, and when Elsa followed his gaze, she found Anna speaking to Hans, of all people. She swallowed and quickly averted her eyes. She'd tolerated his presence in Anna's life because she thought it would be healthy and beneficial for her to have a normal relationship with a boy (someone who wasn't related to her), but after everything they'd gone through, her mind couldn't help but play the distant memory of a delirious, intoxicated preteen Anna in his arms.

Heaven's sake. How much, exactly, had Elsa tolerated? The question made her stomach sink with horror.

Kristoff awkwardly clicked his tongue and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Would you like to have dinner one of these days?" He asked. Elsa's eyebrows shot up.

"I'm sorry, Kristoff, but I'm not interested in dates anytime soon," she replied.

"Oh, no! I didn't mean it like…" He huffed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I just need to talk to you about something"

Hans seized Anna's hand and dragged her into the school. Elsa looked somewhere else once again.

"To me," she repeated. "Should I worry?"

"Yes. No. I don't know," he stammered, and Elsa understood why he was Anna's best friend. They were made for each other.

"And I assume you can't tell me now," Elsa quietly said, without an ounce of bitterness in her voice. Kristoff shook his head and Elsa nodded in acceptance. "Alright. I should be able to see you today in the afternoon. Did Anna tell you which hotel I work in?"

"A few dozen times, at least. You have no idea how much she talks about you"

"Come see me at three. I will try to make time for you," Elsa declared, hushing the echo of Kristoff's later words.

"Could you please not tell her?" Kristoff requested. "I think she'll kill me if she finds out"

Elsa raised an eyebrow.

"I'm beginning to feel concerned," she admitted. "I will not lie to her"

"Then just… please," Kristoff begged. "Whatever you tell her, listen to what I have to say first. I… uh, I need to get going"

Elsa nodded politely. She held her breath for a moment.

"I'll see you then, Kristoff"

"See you"

He strolled into the school, and Elsa finally exhaled. She would spend the following feeling worried, it seemed.

"Call me once the movie is over," Elsa repeated into the phone.

"I will! I think we already went over this," Anna playfully objected. "Can I steal your necklace again?"

"Sure. It's yours, if you want it. Be careful not to slip on the ice"

"Really? Oh, thank you!"

"And call me if you need anything!"

There was an instant of silence.

"Love you! Bye!" Anna hung up the phone, ripping away the one sliver of warmth in Elsa's life and forcing her to return to the real, dark, cold world behind the hotel reception desk.

Thank Heaven, it hadn't been a busy day. She'd only had to deal with one family at a time, but with the return of the sun, Elsa dreaded the quickly approaching high season. She already pictured the rows of incoming tourists gathering around the desk to eat her alive, and she could hear her boss screeching voice insulting her for not keeping up. She wished she'd never learned English or Russian. She would have never gotten a chance to work at a hotel if she hadn't.

But it was past noon and she was looking forward to going home, taking a bubble bath, drinking some hot chocolate, and only speaking one language at once— her mother tongue, Mother's tongue. And although she wouldn't get a chance to talk until she went to pick Anna up, she would still appreciate that much-needed silence and solitude.

Anna. She'd be going out with Hans, and their little outing was Elsa's current source of anxiety. She had to remember she was Anna's sister, not her mother, and she had no right to micromanage Anna's life as she pleased. She'd have to let her go with a boy she didn't trust, because she trusted Anna instead.

So she worked through the last hour of her shift without rushing or putting on her gloves, only occasionally exhaling and gently pushing away the idea of Anna and Hans for a second, third, fourth time. She'd be fine. Anna was smart. She could hold her ground, couldn't she?

Sooner than she expected, the clock on the wall ticked three in the afternoon, and a familiar face walked up to the desk.

"Hey," Kristoff said. "So, you work here"

"Good evening, Kristoff." Elsa greeted him. "I might have to interrupt you if anyone arrives. Shall we wait until my shift is over?"

"Oh, no, no, that won't be… uh… that won't be necessary," he stammered. "I'll be quick"

He tapped his fingers on the table. Elsa waited in respectful silence, quietly worrying over both him and her sister and whatever would necessitate meeting with Kristoff behind her back. In all honesty, seeing him without Anna's knowledge felt a lot like betrayal.

"Kristoff," she softly drew his attention.

"Right," he coughed. "Sorry. I don't know if I'm making a big deal out of something that wasn't even there." He ran a hand through his hair. "I shouldn't be telling you this, but has Anna said anything about a boy?"

Elsa blinked.

"A boy," she repeated.

"Other than Hans," Kristoff clarified.

Elsa hesitated, then shook her head.

"I don't think so, no," she said. "Why are you asking me this?"

"Because she told me she had feelings for someone else"

Elsa nodded in silence. She didn't like where this was going.

"I believe that respects to her privacy," Elsa commented. "She'll decide what she wants me to know on her own terms"

"I think it's you"

The desk around her hands instantly froze. Her stomach sank. Kristoff's eyes fixed on the block of ice around her fingers.

"Did you just…?"

"Don't…!"

"I won't tell anyone," he reassured her. "I always thought your house was colder than normal"

With her heart racing, Elsa looked around to check no one had seen her— no one did—, her brain numb under a whirring shriek as she wondered she'd fix such a thing— she'd crush the ice with her hands and stuff the shards inside her purse— but how could she do it in time? Without making a sound?— and what in the world was she supposed to say to Kristoff? How was she supposed to react? With horror? Disgust? Disbelief? What would a normal big sister say in this situation?

She fished for her gloves inside her pockets and she put them on with quivering hands, staring at the fabric as she spoke a language no one around them would understand.

She settled for offense.

"You speak of my sister, Kristoff Bjorgman," she said, with a hard yet unsure tone of voice. Her hands began to struggle with the shards sticking out of the desk, ripping the pieces off. "I hope this accusation doesn't mean what I think it does"

"I'm not trying to… uh… speak ill of Anna," Kristoff explained, awkwardly joining her in and sliding blocks of ice into his pockets. His wide shoulders covered the sight. "She's my best friend! I'm just worried about her"

Elsa inhaled sharply.

"And what makes you worried, exactly?" She inquired.

"I don't know. The way she got, I guess. She was worried about cheating on Hans, and I told her she didn't have to cheat just because she had feelings for someone else. She was, uh, very anxious about liking this person in particular. I wondered who it could be, because she felt really bad for a normal crush. And she... you two just lost your parents so..."

"Is that all?" Elsa asked. Most of the ice was gone, but remnants of it still stuck to the wooden desk. "She felt bad for having a crush on someone who wasn't her boyfriend and you think she's lusting after her own sister? How could you suggest such a thing?"

"To be fair, she got really nervous when you came up"

"She talked about me?"

"Not really. But…"

"Kristoff," Elsa hesitantly placed her hands on the desk. "I appreciate your concern for my sister's wellbeing, but I won't tolerate these allegations. You know Anna, perhaps better than I do, and I have to ask you to please, stop it. She is fifteen. She's going through a difficult time. We both are. The last thing she needs is having her best friend turn against her." She spotted one of her coworkers gesturing at her across the room. Her shift had finally ended. "I'll ask you to leave now. This conversation is over"

Kristoff visibly wanted to argue but Elsa denied him the chance. She began to give her coworker a quick rundown of the happenings of the last hours, and her sister's friend was forced to leave upon Elsa's rejection. The door swung furiously as he walked out.

What if he knew more than he let on? What if he suspected something else— a full-blown incestuous, abusive relationship between the two? Hans had accused her of being too controlling— controlling over this young girl in her care, completely at her mercy. She imagined a world in which Kristoff, Hans and Dr. Weselton met, exchanged theories, formulated new ones, and arrived at conclusions that could harm her and her sister.

She needed to have a word with Anna.

Once she left the hotel, she checked her phone and was horrified to find two messages from her sister.

hi

could you pick me up?.

Elsa sighed. Oh, she was going to kill Hans.

She found Anna in the café at the front of the Culture House, standing hopelessly near the door and shifting her weight from one leg to the other.

"Hey," Elsa said as she approached her. "Is everything alright?"

"Oh! Hi." Anna jerked her head up. "Yeah. I'm… I…" Her voice sounded so unsure and timid. "I could really use a hug right now"

Elsa didn't need to be told twice. She opened her arms and welcomed Anna to burrow into her. Hans was entirely out of sight, and even though Anna looked quite put together, the tension in her muscles gave her away, and a reluctant protective flare urged Elsa to hold her tighter.

"Okay. So…" Anna pulled away, and Elsa mentally chastised herself for missing the contact. "He left"

Elsa's eye twitched.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"We… kind of had a discussion," Anna explained. "We came out of the theater because people were looking at us, and then he… left me"

"He broke up with you?"

"No! No. He didn't. He, um… he just left. Me. He left me here"

Months, even weeks earlier, Elsa would have left things as they were. She'd take Anna back home, lock herself up in her room, and let her deal with whatever she was dealing with on her own. But she now couldn't help but to softly touch her arm— just barely brushing her thumb over her sleeve— and speak to her, because she couldn't imagine denying Anna the affection she needed when she had the option of offering it.

"Are you okay?" Elsa inquired. "Do you want to go home?"

"Yeah. Let's… Let's go," she accepted meekly, but Elsa heard her mumble something about 'looking forward to eating out that afternoon'.

She probably shouldn't, because she'd couldn't let their inheritance go down restaurants and cafés, but she hadn't been planning on cooking for two that afternoon, and Anna had been abandoned and denied a movie already. So, Elsa did the first thing that came to her mind and invited her to have something, right there and then in the Culture House. They grabbed the only seats left and she let Anna pick the meal she fancied, never mind the wince-inducing prices. For her part, she requested something cheap and small.

"Oh, Elsa," Anna said. "You didn't have to"

"There isn't any food at home," Elsa lied. It would be beyond embarrassing if she told Anna she did it all because she wanted to make her smile. She decided to change the topic before it became too obvious just how in love she was. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm…" I'm fine, she would have said. "I could be better. He… um… He said some things that hurt me"

"Like what?" Elsa gently asked, fearing pushing her too much but also clenching her fist below the table to repress the ice.

"Oh, it's… it's nothing," Anna shook her head. "He just… He made me feel a bit dumb"

Elsa didn't say anything. She just waited for her sister to continue, and Anna seemed to take her silence as an encouragement to keep going.

"I wanted to talk to him," Anna continued. "I don't know what I wanted to talk about. It was pretty much my fault. I just... needed to see if I had a friend in him"

"Isn't he your boyfriend?" Elsa asked.

"Yeah, but that's not the point. You know I never liked anyone as much as I like… you know" She gestured with her hands, in a way that could mean anything, but Elsa understood perfectly. So, Anna had never loved anyone else, either? She refrained from asking about that. "I owe him so much, but I can't be the girlfriend he deserves. I've never been in love with him, and I don't think I ever will. I'm… I'm not built that way"

"So, you wanted to see if you could keep him in your life as a friend?"

"I guess. You could say so. I mean, it's not like we're gonna get married, even if he wants us to stay together through university. I've been thinking a lot about him this past week, and I don't know what the point is anymore. I mean, it's not working. It never will. I hate saying it's a los cause, but I think it kind of is. I wanted to see if I could find a reason to stay. I really want to find something"

"What did you find?"

Anna opened her mouth to reply, but whatever she was about to say was quickly forgotten when the waitress brought dinner over to them. Elsa was thankful to see a wide smile appearing on Anna's face, vanishing all the worry lines away.

"I'm glad we didn't have to stay and watch the whole movie, though," Anna commented a few minutes later, still chewing on her food.

"Don't speak with your mouth full," Elsa playfully scolded her. "Come on. Drink some water"

Anna swallowed and did not drink any water.

"Anyway, it was a boring movie. And I was getting hungry. Now, this is much better"

"I'm glad," Elsa chuckled. "What was it about?"

"Oh, you know." She made a dismissive gesture with her hands. "Adult stuff"

Elsa raised an eyebrow.

"Adult stuff?"

"The divorce and taxes kind," Anna clarified. "Not the other kind"

Of course, Anna was only fifteen. She referred to sex as 'Adult Stuff'. Elsa bit down her lip to suppress a giggle but Anna saw right through her.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked. "Hey, don't laugh at me! My boyfriend just abandoned me. You can't laugh at me"

"I'm not," Elsa lied. Still, she straightened her expression and solemnly said: "I'm sorry. You're right. That was in poor taste"

"See? I knew you weren't a mean big sister after all"

Anna proceeded to wolf down on her meal, and Elsa knew that asking 'do you mean that?' would be cheesy and ruin their playful mood, yet still, hearing kind words from her sister always sent butterflies fluttering in her stomach. Oh, how she longed to reach over the table and simply interlock their fingers together.

"Jeez, don't… don't watch me eat, Elsa," Anna mumbled, eyes still glued to her food. Elsa's eyes widened and she opened her mouth to apologize when Anna added: "I'm messy. I think I have food in my hair or something. Gosh, this is embarrassing"

"You have nothing in your hair," Elsa dumbly said. "Don't worry about messiness"

"How can I not? You're so sophisticated and elegant and beautiful and…" She shut her mouth. "Sorry. Okay, I take 'beautiful' back. You're elegant and sophisticated. Yep. I must look like a goat next to you"

Elsa chuckled at the mental image of Anna with ram horns.

"You do not," she reassured her. "Anna, you look…" Beautiful? Radiant? Heavenly? That was all true, but she couldn't say such things to her little sister, and a simple 'alright' would feel like an arrow to the heart, she knew that well. "You look perfect just the way you are"

Something shifted in Anna's demeanor. A shy smile tugged at her lips and she wiped her mouth with a napkin to hide her faint blushing. Elsa politely tried to ignore the change in her mood. Anna didn't reply right away, rather she stared at her plate and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Um… thanks," she stammered. "Thank you"

Alright, so… this kind of treatment made her flustered. Elsa took note of it, so she could measure herself in the future.

Anna was nervous. It was clear to everyone and especially to her big sister, who had spent her whole life observing her nervousness. And she found her utterly adorable.

Yes. Elsa had both succeeded and failed at the same time, it seemed.

Two girls in love, having dinner together so close yet so far from each other. Untouchable. Impossible. Being there with Anna filled Elsa with emotions that made her choke in her own tears. Something monstrous, and wicked. Perverse. Something tragic. To wish for someone and not only knowing you would never touch them, not really, but to know even your dreams of embraces and kisses were forbidden. She desperately wanted to take Anna's hand but she couldn't and she shouldn't feel this way, and she hated herself for feeling pain over it.

She needed to control herself. Anna needed a place of safety. She deserved a home and a family to come back to every day, always knowing there was no one with ulterior motives looming over her. She needed to feel secure, trusting her own family not to fall for or lust after her, and Elsa had stolen that from her by telling her the truth. She was supposed to be Anna's home. Now, she wondered if Anna would ever feel safe and protected again.

Elsa cleared her throat and resumed her meal. She had no idea what kind of psychological damage she was inflicting upon Anna by letting her know her big sister and legal guardian wanted to fuck her. How was she ever supposed to feel safe this way?

"You have your thinking face," Anna pointed out. Elsa looked up at her and Anna coughed. "I mean, I guess all of your faces are thinking faces, because you're always thinking. But I can tell something is upsetting you right now"

"It's nothing," Elsa said. "Go on. That smørbrødet is not going to eat itself"

She gestured at the gargantuan open sandwich on Anna's plate with her fork, yet her younger sister put down her cutlery.

"You know, I didn't really want to talk about my date earlier," she confessed. "But I'm glad I did. I feel better. And we promised we wouldn't keep things from each other again"

"We did?"

"Yes, we did. Now, go ahead. I'm listening" she inched her chair a bit closer to the table and stared expectantly into her big sister's eyes. "And I'm not leaving you alone until you tell me"

"Don't I get to have some privacy?" Elsa chuckled. Anna blinked and wrinkled her nose.

"I mean, you don't have to tell me if you really don't want to"

"Really? I must have gotten the wrong impression earlier, then"

"Oh, shut up," Anna huffed. "You know what I mean. I don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me"

"I know I can talk to you," Elsa reassured her. "But I'd much rather talk about you right now"

There would be time to discuss her own worries some other day. She couldn't be the big sister Anna deserved but she could be a friend. She gave her an encouraging look, and Anna swallowed thickly.

"I really like the food," Anna blurted. "And… I like eating with you"

"I like eating with you, too," Elsa murmured with a smile.

I love spending time with you. I love you, my little princess.

Alright, that was enough. Elsa kept putting her foot in her mouth, and poor Anna was as red as a tomato.

"The movie wasn't that bad," Anna continued. "I liked the part with the baby"

She proceeded to explain the plot and characters of the movie she'd just watched. She found the funny plot holes more amusing than the story itself, and she didn't seem too disappointed by not staying to watch the ending. She said the story was better if left unfinished, and that she was having a lot more fun in the café anyway. Elsa listened to her as if she'd never heard her voice before, or as if she would never hear it again. She laughed alongside her. She smiled at her precious little sister. She thanked Heaven for the priceless privilege of sharing dinner with her.

They wouldn't have been allowed to be together like this three months earlier.

It wasn't Heaven's intervention. It was their own decision to reach out to each other what led them to that moment. Elsa couldn't even conceive what she'd do without her.

Why would she want to send her away?

Their conversation from last weekend played on the broken record of her head. She'd violated so many rules simply to be closer to her, and they had… they had agreed to be realistic, hadn't they? Yes, they were in love, and no, that wasn't going away anytime soon. It was something they'd have to live with, it seemed.

Deep down, in the most childish corners of her heart, she loathed shame. She loathed the shame she'd spent years cultivating because she thought it would keep them safe. She hated the shame that came from loving someone as wonderful as Anna, someone who deserved all the love and affection in the world yet was treated like a dirty, shameful little secret. She despised those old memories from years back, when they left Oslo to visit Finnmark in winter and they shared childish puppy kisses when no one was looking, but part of her wished she wouldn't have to. She hated hating the small child she once was.

And she would never wish Anna wasn't her sister, which left her in a delicate predicament, because Elsa wished she were allowed to at least miss this clean, genuine endearment, unstained by what came after. She wanted to treasure the memory of a time where blood ran warm through her veins and she didn't know the name of fear.

They would never have that again.

Would they?

Was this how Anna felt, too? Anna, who ate her smørbrødet across the table and occasionally glanced at her, wiped her mouth with a napkin and checked she didn't have any food on her hair or clothes because she didn't want to look ugly in front of her big sister. Did she too hate her younger self? Was she too paralyzed, trapped in a vicious cycle of hatred and shame? Elsa wouldn't wish it upon her worst enemy, let alone the girl that was her whole sun, moon and sky. Oh, and she'd left her to suffer alone with these same demons for so long! Why had she done such a thing?

Had she hated Anna?

She didn't want to hate her ever again.

So, in the end, they could feel this way, it seemed. Elsa was in love with her little sister, and her little sister was in love with her, too. She could experience this with her senses, so it must be real. If it was real, it meant it possessed the ability to exist. As if it were… allowed to be real by the laws of nature. Allowed by Anna herself, who granted the only permission that mattered. That it's okay to dream of touching without touching. And not only was it real, but it couldn't stop being so. It was futile to fight back, and doing so only brought them the pain of a parent's punishment. It was wildflowers that refused to die.

Did that mean Elsa could also grieve the fact that this would never be? Could she miss their naïve innocence and look back to their childish mistakes with amusement and compassion? Was such a thing allowed as well? Her usual nightmares consisted of violent desires to rip this illness out of her chest, to stop wanting. But if she could want, then what else could she do? How far did the permission extend?

Could she let her heart race at the mere sight of her adorable little sister fighting against an evil napkin? Anna wasn't scared of her. She'd made that very clear. She didn't feel disgusted by Elsa's affections, much less repulsed or threatened. She was at peace with them. Did she feel safe? Could she— perhaps— allow herself to bask in this warm, soft, sun-lit feeling of wildflowers blooming in her heart by simply existing near Anna's presence? Could she smile at her? Appreciate her freckled hands and red hair? Her toothy grin? Could she freely imagine herself planting kisses on her skin?

Anna knew. There was nothing Elsa's heart could do to make her feel more or less safe. If she wanted to be Anna's home and family, she needed to do so through actions, which was exactly what they'd agreed on: to act like normal sisters even if they felt something else.

Elsa had spent years fearing her emotions would hurt Anna.

She was wrong.

She was only hurting herself.

Finding Anna again was like a miracle. It was too good to be true and it was much more than what Elsa deserved. Yet years of experience told her that being loved— in the wrong way, by the wrong person, even— was always better than being shunned.

Elsa might not deserve it, but Anna did, and she would do anything to guarantee her happiness above all else.

After they finished, Elsa paid for their dinner and led Anna back to the snowmobile, itching to drag her by her hands. She didn't reach out to take them. She simply reveled in the itch. She found herself looking forward to having Anna's arms wrapped around her waist and her body pulled flush against hers, and she bit back an awkward smile as they climbed onto the vehicle. Her stomach nearly tingled from the anticipation and when she finally felt Anna's embrace, soft and tight and tender around her body. She gripped the handles of the snowmobile to keep herself from touching Anna's hands instead.

They arrived home far too soon, and after kicking off their boots and coats, she playfully pulled Anna in for a hug.

"Come here!" she laughed, feeling more like a child than she had in years. Anna happily wrapped her arms around her neck, but she pulled away too quickly.

"It's getting late, isn't it?" Anna commented. "Almost kveldsmat time"

Elsa glanced at the clock and winced.

"I assume your stomach is too full for kveldsmat," she teased her.

"Excuse me! My stomach is never too full for kveldsmat!" Anna laughed. Her expression turned suddenly serious. "But, uh, I think I'll make some toast myself later. Now I have to— I have to do my homework"

Oh. That was strange. Elsa understood the underlying message from the way her sister worded her statement.

She'd… She'd perhaps gotten too enthusiastic. She thought that, simply because they were giving up on any hopes of being normal, healthy sisters, she could revel in her affections.

Anna retreated into her bedroom, and Elsa, who had little to do with her time ever since she graduated, decided to work on Anna's birthday present. She lacked most of the fabric, but there was still some progress left to make*. Working with an ice model— one fragile enough to crush if Anna came close to it— was helpful. She was beginning to worry she wouldn't finish in time if she had to do most of the work down in Finnmark with Honeymaren, so painfully close to the date of Anna's birth. She decided to take a break and return to a skirt for herself she'd been working on for ages, one that was long, light and elegant, reaching her mid-calf, and she was considering preparing a second gift for Anna should the original one not work out when a soft knock on the door brought her back into reality.

"Come in," she quietly said.

Anna opened the door, but Elsa didn't hear her move. She cranked up her neck and took a look at her sister, who stood tall and stiff in the doorframe, hands balled into fists.

Elsa frowned.

"Anna, what is it?"

Anna took a deep breath and began to play with her fingers.

"Well," she clumsily began. "Remember when I told you I was looking for a reason to stay with Hans?"

Part of Elsa wanted to tell her she had no reason, that she didn't trust Hans and that she could pick any boy in Longyearbyen other than him, but she couldn't say things like that, and she had to nod instead.

"I remember," she said.

"Yeah, and then you asked me what I'd found, right? Well, I found that… ah… Goodness, this is awkward." Anna fanned herself with one hand and forced a nervous smile. "Just… I just wanted to tell you that what you and I did today felt more like a date than anything I've ever done with him"

Elsa wasn't sure how to respond to that. Her first reactions were regret and shame at daring to enjoy their little outing, and then Kirstoff's words— he'd told her about his suspicions because he trusted her to put her foot down and protect Anna from her own feelings— they all rushed to the forefront of her mind.

"I'm sorry," she lamely said.

"No, no, no!" Anna cried, gesticulating with her hands to emphasize her words. "You didn't do anything, Elsa. That's not… I never felt threatened, if that's what you think. I know you won't do anything to me. Not because I ever thought you would! That isn't— it's the opposite, you know? It felt like a date because I felt so… I felt so safe and loved and appreciated and…" her gaze was lost somewhere near the ground, but she wasn't looking at the floorboards. She placed a hand over her heart. "I'd… never felt anything like that before. So, I don't think we should eat out together again. Not for now, at least"

It took a moment to hit Elsa. She breathed in, breathed out, and nodded.

"You're right," she agreed. "It won't happen again"

"Good," Anna agreed, clasping her hands together. "You know, it wasn't because I didn't like it. I loved it! It was the best date I've ever had. Probably because it was with you. But… um... "

"I had a nice time too, Anna," Elsa said, only because she hated the idea of Anna thinking her attractions were one-sided and feeling guilt over it.

Anna smiled apprehensively and took a step back. The action shouldn't have hurt nearly as much as it did, but Elsa could feel a deep crack breaking through her heart.

"That was all," Anna said. "Add that to the secret rules. No dates. No— no restaurants. Not alone, at least. I know it's no different from having dinner here, but it— it feels different"

"I'll remember that"

"Thanks." Anna took another step through the door. She was in the hallway now. "I'm gonna… get going. Bye!"

She sprinted away before Elsa could reply, or complain, or grieve.

She ran a hand through her hair and closed her eyes. So, this was rejection. It was stupid of her to feel this way, because she knew Anna was right. She'd been more aware of the reality of the situation while Elsa was drunk in her emotions. She may not be able to escape them, but they were still hers, and they should respond to her command and not the other way around.

She closed the door of her bedroom. The privacy was comforting.

Yes, open the bird's cage and it will fly away too quickly. Anna, at least, was smart and cautious. Elsa needed to be more attentive to her own heart if she wanted to make their new arrangement work.

She would have liked to design something— a dress, a pair of shoes—, but pen and paper kept freezing in her hand.

guys i have so much fluff planned for the next chapters omg i've been waiting so long to write proper fluff

anyways onto the reviews. I will only reply to reviews I am 100% sure weren't sent my bots btw

Guest said: Anna could've said to Elsa. "You know you can't make any promises you can't keep."

Response: Actually I thought about it! I like the drama. But I think it wouldn't have fit with Anna's objective in that scene. I mean, she was looking for a promise, wasn't she? Anyway, let's see if Elsa can keep her promises uwu

RockLovert said: Mirá, todavía Runeard no le sacó el trofeo a Weselton, pero con lo que me decís estos segura que muy pronto se lo va a sacar. Lo que me lleva a decirte lo enojada que estoy con el hecho de que Elsa haya vuelto a tener una sesión con ese enfermo! Estoy enojadisima hermana, no puede ser! Pero no es con vos, es enojo puramente sano y literario, a parte, es algo que empuja la trama, así que estoy más ansiosa por saber a dónde vas a llevar esto, porque estoy en un punto en el que no puedo generarme muchas hipótesis, me sacaste de las casillas con esta historia, trabajas el tema del incesto de una forma que hasta ahora no había leído, así que estoy muy expectante.

Ya quiero ver esa violencia, queremos sangre señores, sangre! (en la medida de lo aceptable claramente, no me tomes como una sanguinaria)

Response: es que la piba tiene tremendo trauma blda por eso vuelve. necesita amor y contención y el viejo choto este está dale que dale con el trauma. y la sangre ya viene! Se esta acercando, despacito pasito a pasito. Ya veremos que hace el don colonizador acá jsjd

aa1aaa said: Another great chapter! Damn it was really sad till the last part of the chapter and I started to think Elsa would commit suicide at some point but thanks god it didn't happen. Just a quick question: we saw hanna a lot so is there gonna be any elsamaren moments as well? We all want ultimate elsanna at the end of the day but elsa is soooo lonely. Anyways this chapter was again amazing and I hope you keep writing! I don't know how writers continue writing these fictions with such creativity and discipline but you are incredible!

Response: Aaaaaw thank you! This is such a wholesome comment uw but suicide? oh boy that's a bit too much isn't it? Rest assured we won't see suicide in this fic. And mmmm actually I'm planning on writing an elsamaren fic soon! Ok tbh it's snow sisters with a bit of elsamaren on the side but Honeymaren is still a main character so it counts. But no, no I don't think we'll have any elsamaren here. I mean, they see each other as cousins even if they're unrelated, and 1) I don't think Honeymaren would be as happy with incest as all of us EA shippers and 2) if Elsa is gonna commit incest she might as well go all the way and confess to her sister, the love of her life xd. But I don't think Elsa is that lonely! No, not now at least! In fact, she's never been closer to Anna as she is now. They're a team now. They're friends and they've got each other's backs.

Anyways guys I'm super happy to be writing this part of the story so that + the fact that summer vacations are approaching means I might be able to update more frequently. Aaaaaaah I really need my four months of summer vacations. Your comments always make me smile :D