Chapter 11

Lena made her way through the lab shutting off lights in empty rooms and above untouched stations, keeping her hands busy with mindless tasks. She glanced over her shoulder briefly to one of the rooms still brightly lit and humming with the sound of machines. Alex was still sitting relatively unmoved from her position by her sister's side, her eyes drooping lower as the toll of the last 48 hours started to wear into her resolve to stay conscious. Lena felt her own body beginning to betray her, the lack of sleep pulling at her body like a heavy burden causing her to move slower than normal. She needed to sleep, needed her mind to be sharp, but the thought of something happening to Kara while she lay defenseless in an induced dream, kept her from finding the rest her body desperately wanted.

She tapped the last of the lights off and made her way to the large computer in the center of the lab. She began tapping away a series of codes and calculations, getting lost in her work as she tried hopelessly to rid her mind of the fears she couldn't shake. She had gotten lost in her task when a light tap on the shoulder made her flinch and swivel around to find Alex standing over her.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." Alex said as she slowly sank into another computer chair. Her body melted as she rested her head in her hand. "You don't happen to have something for this splitting migraine do you?" Alex asked through closed eyes. Lena smiled softly and swiveled around in her seat to open a small drawer to her right pulling out an assortment of medicine. "Take your pick." She offered quietly.

Alex grabbed a small bottle and quickly downed a pill as she mumbled a small thank you. "When did Brainy leave?" Alex asked as she looked around the deserted floor.

"Couple hours ago." Lena replied as she completed a half written formula, the clacking of keys echoing slightly in the empty halls.

"Never even noticed." Alex said.

Lena's fingers stopped typing and she looked over her shoulder at Alex "It's unusual to hear you say something like that."

"Insomnia's a bitch." She rebutted. "And shouldn't the subatomic frequency of that be higher considering its mass?" Alex asked as she glanced at the formula Lena had been working on. "Looks like we are both slipping."

Lena shook her head and corrected her error. "I'm impressed, if not a bit annoyed that you caught it before I had the chance to correct it myself."

Alex gave a half smile and looked back at Kara. The compliment did not bear much weight on her ego, making Lena like her even more. Alex was way more intelligent than she ever led on to be, her humility about it just made people take it for granted. "Kara was the one who tutored me in the sciences. Krypton being light years ahead of Earth in advancements and all she always excelled in that area. She learned pretty quickly to hide her intelligence in order to keep her secret and her life with us safe." Alex said softly, reminiscing about past memories. She pulled out a knife hidden in her boot and began balancing it on one finger absently as she thought back.

Lena looked over at Kara. "She's good at that isn't she? Hiding who she is from those closest to her." She hadn't intended on dredging up the past and winced inwardly when Alex shifted in her seat.

Alex looked over at Lena and twirled her knife in her hand. "She had to learn to survive in a foreign world. She tried to tell you many times, begged me and others closest to her to be allowed to share her secret with you… but in the end she listened to us and we influenced her out of our own fears." Alex looked over at Lena with deep regret in her eyes. "I'm as much at fault for you not knowing as she is."

Lena crossed her legs and knelt her head down as she took in the apology, her voice soft and even "I've passed the point of being angry about that any longer." She looked over at Kara again. "We found our way back, that's what matters most to me right now, and I'm tired of being resentful, it was lonely and put me on a path filled with regrets I wish never to repeat."

Alex sat silent for a minute, her body softening as she let the tension pass from her shoulders. She had braced herself for the argument she had expected to come and when it didn't she was left staring back in a state of surprise and relief. "Well," she said hesitantly, "It seems I'm the one whose impressed now."

"I'll try not to let it go to my head." Lena gave a crooked smile and Alex smiled back.

"I don't think we've ever done this. Really talked before, other than when it was work related or amongst friends at game nights, but one on one like this…" Alex waved a finger between the two of them. "It's nice, I can see why Kara gravitates to you. Ever since y'all first met too. Always finding excuses to visit. Especially after you helped her decide on becoming a reporter."

Alex looked at Lena with her head cocked back at Lena's confused expression. "You didn't know?"

Lena shook her head "what should I know?"

"You were the one who gave her the idea." Alex said.

Lena scoffed lightly "Me?" She crossed her arms lightly and sat back staring at Alex, unbelieving.

A light chuckle escaped Alex's lips as she took in the sight. "The day you first met. Cat Grant had given her a time limit on what vocation to choose, practically offered her any position she wanted. Kara was going to pick marketing if you can imagine." Alex shook her head at the memory. "Anyways it was after she met you that she made her decision. You said something to her that was the deciding factor in her decision on becoming a reporter. She came home babbling away at how blind she was until you had pointed it out." Alex looked back at Lena challenging her "And you're telling me she never told you? My Kara, who drones on about everything? Come on."

Lena sat expressionless as she took in the information. "I had no idea." She glanced over to Kara watching her vitals beep on the monitor and the rise and fall of her chest. So many mysteries lay wrapped up in a blanket on the far side of the room and she felt like she was barely scratching the surface.

Alex watched Lena silently, her eyes flickering between her and Kara as she let the declaration settle between them both. Lena blinked a few times and shifted in her seat forcing her thoughts back to the present. "I wonder what she is seeing right now, how far she's gotten in convincing Clark."

Alex rubbed the back of her neck as she looked over to the far side of the room. "It's hard to say for sure. Clark was just a baby when he was sent to Earth. So I'd be surprised if his fantasy consisted of Krypton, plus there's no telling what this Black Mercy is capable of."

She watched in silence for a moment. "Kara was a victim of one once." Alex looked at Lena from the corners of her eyes,

"I know a little bit about it but I wasn't in National City then." Lena said as she drew her attention back to Alex.

"I almost lost her to it." She sighed heavily as the thought ran its course through her emotions and then continued. "It had surrounded her with family she had lost, flooded her memories with long forgotten hopes for a future that would never come to be. When she came out of it she was…" Alex shook her head as she blinked back tears, the memory of that moment seared into her brain. She looked back at Lena in anguish, "She lost her whole world all over again that day. The pain in her eyes will forever be etched in my brain." Lena felt a knot form in the back of her throat and swallowed it back down silently.

"I just hope that Clark rejects the damned thing and that it still behaves in the same way as the one we came across four years ago; shrivels up and dies." Alex said solemnly.

Lena nodded her own sentiments silently. They sat in silence for a long while until Lena saw Alex stifle a yawn. She stood from her chair. "There's no sense in us both staying up. You should get some rest."

Alex looked up troubled, "no I can't," she looked over at Kara and Clark. "I can't leave them."

"I'll keep an eye on them both and you can tag me out later." Lena bargained and Alex reluctantly agreed.

"You're lucky I'm too tired to argue." Alex mumbled as she rose off the chair and followed Lena to one of the other empty beds in the lab.

"I know, that's why I haven't pressed you about it until now." Lena said smiling.

"Always the clever one." Alex nudged Lena with her elbow playfully as she crossed passed her and sunk into the bed. She was asleep almost instantly and Lena drew the curtain back to give her a bit more privacy. She rubbed her arm softly at where she had been nudged and smiled. It was a small gesture, but one that let her know they were ok, Alex wouldn't have taken her offer if she didn't trust her to watch over Kara and Clark.

She turned and made her way to Kara's side and sat down. Lois was asleep on the chair near Clark, her head sunk low into her chest at an angle that Lena was sure she'd regret when she woke up. Lena pulled her attention to Kara and found her hand, pulling it into her own, surprised at how warm it was. She rubbed her hand lightly in her own and kissed her fingertips before stretching her body over the bed to allow her head to rest on Kara's, "come back to me." Lena whispered softly, she placed her hand on the soft golden locks of hair and smoothed it out, unwilling to think how much saying those words truly affected her. "Please just come back to me. To us all."

Kara woke up in a grassy field under an expansive oak tree. Earth. She thought to herself. She had been sure she would have woken up in Krypton, prepared herself for it mentally, but this was Clark's mind not hers, his fantasies the black mercy was preying on. She sat up amazed at the feel of the grass between her fingers, the smell of the autumn air that brushed past her face. The dream she found herself in became a reality in a way that unnerved her as she forced herself to remember this wasn't a real field but a fragment of Clark's imagination. She found herself in a white linen dress and barefoot, her hair was down around her shoulders in long waves and as she stood she felt the lack of strength that came without her powers.

She looked around gathering her bearings and recognized the barn and ranch house that sat on the hill in the distance. "Clark." She started making her way across the field to the house, her best chance of finding Clark was there.

As she approached the front door she heard a terrible scream from within and she threw herself the last few steps through the door. She stumbled inside and caught herself on the railing of the stairwell. Her eyes darted up and toward the noise, falling back in horror at the sight before her. She gasped and clasped her hands to her mouth, bile churning up in her gut as she stood unmoving, her eyes fixated to the middle of the living room where Clark lay huddled over Lois, dead in his arms with a large gruesome hole through the center of her body. Clark's eyes were red with heat, the wailing coming from a place deep within him as he sat in anguish. It was then Kara saw the three other bodies. His mother, father and a little boy not much older than eight.

"Clark?" Kara said shakily, barely a whisper, as she felt her body trembling beyond her control. Clark's anger flashed instantly towards her, the rage in his eyes glowing white hot, she dodged only a second before the beam of light landed where she had been standing.

"Clark! It's me. Kara!" She threw her hands up defensively bracing herself, but Clark's vision returned to normal and he sat back on the heels of his feet, letting Lois' limp body sag slightly out of his grip.

"What have I done?" He looked down and then back toward the rest of his family laying lifeless on the floor. "WHAT HAVE I DONE?" He screamed in agony, the veins in his neck protruding outward as his face turned a deep red with strain.

"I know how this must look Clark. I can't even imagine what you've seen these last two days, but please believe me when I tell you...none of it is real." Kara knelt down to his level still keeping a distance away from him. She slowly lowered her hands out of the defensive state they had remained in and her face softened as she took in the sight of what the Black Mercy had done to him. "All you have to do is remember."

"Who are you?" Clark asked warily the anguish still writhing heavily on his voice.

"I'm Kara. I came here to help you, but I can't do it on my own. You have to want my help. Please Clark. I need you to remember. Lois is waiting for you right now, alive and well. This…" she nodded towards Lois and his family. "Is the Black Mercy's doing. It's an illusion, one that is warped to mimic your worst nightmares."

Clark looked down, his lower lip and chin quivered as he gazed at the woman he had vowed to spend the rest of his life keeping safe. "I felt the heat of my vision burning into my retinas as I tore the life from her body. I felt each bone crack as I squeezed the life out of my own parents." He glared at Kara menacingly. "And you expect me to believe I just imagined it?" He clenched his jaw and then let out an earth shattering growl towards Kara. "LIES!"

Kara stood up and walked slowly over to him. "Search your mind Clark, you know deep down this is not you. You would never do this."

"I did do this!" Clark spat back. "Look at her!!"

"I know. I know that your deepest fear is that you would one day lose control. It's mine too. The Black Mercy it-it's using that fear against you, manipulating what you treasure most into one of your darkest nightmares, you just have to see it for what it is." Kara pleaded. The earth around her began to shake and the sky grew dark. Maybe she was getting through to him. A flicker of hope filled her chest but the sky cleared and the earth stopped moving almost as quickly as it started.

"Why should I trust you? I don't know you." Clark glared back at Kara, his eyes filled with skepticism. She sighed and sank a bit lower to the floor.

"We are family Clark. I changed your diapers, I sang you songs to help you fall asleep…" He stared back blankly. "You found me when I landed on Earth. Took me to the Danvers…"

"Landed on Earth?" Clark asked confused.

"We are from Krypton, our planet was destroyed, your real name is Kal El."

The earth started shaking violently and a large crack formed in the foundation and floor boards of the house.

"Kal El…" Clark said softly, remembering.

"Yes, Kal, you're my cousin. You—" a loud crack sounded off as the front door flew open. "This is the police! Step away from the victim and place your hands above you head!" Kara whipped around in time to catch one of them drawing their weapon out aiming it at Clark. The other grabbed her arm roughly pulling her up against her will and started trying to drag her out of the house.

She resisted but struggled to keep the control "Let go of me!" She shouted. She turned to Clark and pleaded again in earnest. "Resist it Kal! It's not real! Please trust me! If they take me away we will be trapped in this nightmare until the Balck Mercy finishes you off." She managed to break free of the officer and lunged forward towards Clark. Clark sat shell shocked as he tried to ascertain the situation. The officer lunged forward on top of Kara and started pulling her away again. "Stop resisting our ill put you under arrest." The officer ordered as he locked her arms behind her back by the elbows with his own.

"Oh Shut up!" Kara threw her head back connecting it with the officers nose sending him back reeling.

The house disappeared around them as a giant tornado formed, Clark gasped as Lois' body and the bodies of his family flew up and disappeared into the sky the whirlwind of dust making it impossible to see anything surrounding them.

The officer pointing the gun at Clark took several steps in his direction, "You aren't leaving here alive, we won't let you."

"It's ok to be afraid Clark, your fear is what keeps you from losing your humanity, you would never do something like this because you are not a monster. WE ARE NOT MONSTERS! We are Kryptonians, our race lives on through us! But it's our relationships that keep us grounded, give us reasons to fight, to protect. I will always be here for you." Kara looked at Clark, their eyes fixed onto each other as dust and sand flew between them. She didn't know how else to convince him and she wasn't sure if her words had gotten through, the look of turmoil on Clark's face was the last thing she saw before the cloud of dust that kept getting larger and larger, filling up the space between them made him vanish from her line of sight. Then everything went black.

Kara gasped as she sucked in a large lungful of air. Her hands came up pulling at the nodes and wires shakily. She sat up quickly, her body reeling and disoriented as she breathed in quick short breaths, her eyes darting around the room as she tried desperately to get her bearings.

Her eyes fell on Clark, the Black Mercy still clutching at his chest and her heart sank. "I failed?" She felt like her body had suddenly been hit with a planet. She clutched at her chest as she watched Clark's slow sporadic breathing. "I failed." She said again letting the realization sink in.

She felt a hand touch her thigh and her head snapped to her right. Lena was sitting next to her, her eyes heavy. "I'm sorry Kara." She looked over at Clark. Lois, who was staring back at them both blankly, shook her head silently in horror at the revelation, a whispered cry of 'no' escaped her lips as the emotions overwhelmed her. "No. No no no, please it can't be true." Lois darted from Kara to Lena and back to Clark. "It can't be true."

Kara couldn't help herself from staring at Lois, the image of her in Clark's arms still lingered in her mind. Seeing her alive, whole and talking was almost surreal. "I'm so sorry Lois. I thought I convinced him, but..." Lena tightened her grip on Kara's thigh, "wait those readings…" Lena got lost in the monitor and fell silent.

Kara looked over to Clark and saw that his breathing had steadied and the black veins were retreating away from his face. She held her breath as she prayed silently while she watched. The black mercy plant began to loosen its grip on Clark and fell away and off the table shrinking to a third of its size as its leaves and blooms darkened in color.

Kara mustered up the strength she had gained from the sun lamps and unleashed a beam of light turning the plant into ash. She blinked hard at the strain and felt herself get slightly dizzy, grabbing the rail of the bed to steady herself Lena's hand came up to her back catching her and holding her steady, concern furrowing her brow as she looked at Kara.

"Clark?" Lois asked tentatively. His fingers started to twitch and a low groan came from his throat as he opened his eyes slowly. He sat up and looked at Lois trying to let his mind shift back to reality. He touched her face apprehensively. His eyes torn between her own and the center of her chest.

"You're ok?" He choked. Lois fell into him as she pulled him into a strong embrace. His arms reached to hug her back but faltered and lingered in the air before touching her shoulders as if she was something delicate and fragile and would shatter upon contact. "I'm ok." She kissed his cheeks and lips and forehead searching his eyes trying to reassure him. "I'm ok." Kara smiled at their connection, without understanding the reason behind his inquiry, Lois answered as if she knew already, reassuring him without asking questions.

Clark looked up at Kara as clarity started to return to his eyes and color to his cheeks. "Thank you." Kara offered a small but wavering smile and nodded her head.

"We will give y'all some privacy." Kara moved to stand but needed to lean on Lena for a bit of support. She whispered softly, "Help me get to your office balcony."

Lena nodded then glanced over at the bed where Alex was still resting. "Do you want me to get your sister?"

Kara shook her head no. "I need sunlight. If something were to happen right now... with both of us in our states for this long, it makes me uneasy."

"But the overcast…"

"I plan to fly above it."

"Can you even manage it?" Lena asked slightly worried. "You're needing my help to walk."

Kara looked at Lena, the determination in her eyes bordered on anger and Lena nodded her understanding. "Ok then." She conceded.

When they reached the balcony Kara turned to face Lena. She hesitated briefly unsure whether or not she should say what had been on her mind since she woke up from being in Clark's dream.

Lena tilted her head slightly to the side. "What is it?" She asked.

Kara smiled and put her hand to Lena's face. "Just making a promise to myself. The black mercy did a number on Clark, showed him his worst fears. He struggled so hard because he truly believed he was capable of the things he did, that he could lose his humanity so completely…I have to admit it's a fear we both share, so I'm resoundingly rejecting it. To say I'll never worry about losing control would be a lie, but I can actively fight from fearing myself. So that's what I'm doing." She smiled and pulled Lena into an embrace. "I'll be right back."

Kara stepped back and closed her eyes feeling the small effect of the sun that permeated the clouds filling her cells and she willed the effects to give her strength as she pushed off, she looked down to where Lena stood watching and then ascended higher into the clouds pushing past the barrier and feeling the immediate warmth of the rays hitting her face. She stared out at the horizon taking in the beauty of the light reflecting off the tops of the clouds, turning orange and yellow at where the horizon. Instantly she felt freer, like a weight that had been pulling her back to the earth had been removed making flying less of a struggle. She pushed higher until she reached the outer atmosphere where the rays could do their work more effectively and closed her eyes as she felt her strength returning to her. She looked down to where National City still lay under an immense cloud coverage and sucked in a lungful of air, Clark would need the sun as much as her and she knew he wasn't going to be leaving Lois' side anytime soon. She blew out a powerful gust of wind pushing the clouds out past National city watching as the beams of light slowly moved across the earth revealing their warmth to the world below.

Lena watched as Kara came back down, her hair flowing in the wind with her cape billowing behind her made her look almost angelic. She felt her body relax from exhaustion, and her legs and arms betrayed her strength as they started to go slack. Kara caught her arm and held her tight. "I got you. You can rest now." Lena felt her body go limp as she was lifted up off her feet effortlessly.

"Take me home?" Lena asked as she felt her eyelids drift close uncontrollably.

"Yes Ms. Luthor." Kara said smiling. Lena chuckled lightly at the endearment. "It sounds funny now that I know who you are; hearing you speak to me so formally."

"Would you prefer I said sweetie or babe instead?" Kara asked jokingly.

"Too soon for those." Lena yawned.

Kara laughed lightly, a twinkle returning to her eyes that almost reenergized Lena as she returned her gaze. "Something to look forward to then, Ms. Luthor."