A/N: I've decided I'm throwing this out here fresh out of the oven because I am so tired of procrastinating over this chapter :)

Terrible, terrible, terrible...

Terrible mistake we've made, stopping at Whiterun. The inn has barely begun repairs, and I still yet smell smoke in the air.

Terrible mistake I made, showing my face around here again. Too many people looking, judging, shunning...

Terrible mistake they made, thinking I was their saviour.

Damned nords and their damned legends! I've half a mind to forego our plans and return to Cyrodiil. At least there, we know where the Dark Brotherhood sanctuaries stand, where the Night Mother may still reside, and the words to access them so effortlessly...

Oh? Perhaps you're confused? Well, Mother, since I assume you've not even bothered to listen, perhaps I should emphasize - much of Whiterun remains in ruins after my failure to stop the dragon at Kynesgrove. I've avoided the city for weeks since, but the people's ire has not quelled with the fires. They hold onto their tall tales of the almighty Dragonborn sent to vanquish all their troubles! - only to be angry when their beliefs are shown to have even the slightest imperfection. The whole lot of them are fools!

And I've been a fool to take in their hollow praise. These people don't know me like you do, Mother. I'm not Mathieu Bellamont to them: I'm Dragonborn, and I've failed my sole purpose in life of defending their own feeble, nameless lives.

Good news, Mother! There is at least one nord in the damn city that isn't as dense as stone. Balgruuf was generous enough to spare me the vitriol nigh all others have been content to show. He may be the only one who will - but do any other words but the Jarl's truly matter?

Ah. And the housecarl as well. But she is smart enough to hold her tongue. Not that she speaks much anyway. She's more so a brick wall. With tits.

I may try to convince myself that the people are foolish in their blame, but do their words still sting! Ohh, Mother, it is so difficult to refrain from ripping out their tongues when they spit such names, such venom. Slit their throats as they slumber - just as I did the sailors of Serpent's Wake! Hahaha! But as tempting it is... as it always is, I must exercise restraint for you, Mother. These citizens are not our quarry. I cannot afford to compromise our time with petty slaughters as the Brotherhood continues to elude us. I truly should not be concerned for how these whores and drunkards and rotten children think of me.

So why am I?

I am... unsure, Mother. I know I have not expressed much comfort with my place as a Dragonborn. But as the months passed, I suppose I... grew to the idea. The concept that I was regarded as something more to peasant and ruler alike. Dare I say - something good. Something honorable.

But no. I should have known better. They regard me now with as much distrust as the dragon that caused all of this. Shun me for letting the fire spread as if it had spewed from my mouth! No matter if there would have been even more lost had I not herded people to safety - organized people to subdue the flames.

Well - I am dearly sorry for being just like every one of you, fair people.

Mother... Mother, is that you? Are you finally speaking to me?

You have to speak up, Mother. I can hardly hear your beautiful voice...

... What? A... door?... Of everything you could respond to me with - you speak of a damn door?! A slab of fucking wood?! That's it?!

... I understand, Mother. I'm sorry. I will do that. I will unlock that door, if that is what you so desire. Anything for you, Mother.

A/N: The situation this chapter focuses on was referenced previously: entry #23 of chapter 6 (arguably a passage I doubt anyone bothered to decipher, which is understandable. But hey - immersion). I've never entirely been comfortable with writing the Dragonborn as a power fantasy like it is in the game, nor writing the dragons themselves as pushovers, so again I made some personal tweaks to keep things interesting.

I realized while writing this that I've never had Mathieu comment on the Civil War - so for Chapter 10 you can expect what'll possibly be the most relatable passages so far. ;) Hope you stay tuned!