Chapter 9 - Thirteen

As Mr. Schuester walked into the choir room, Kurt noticed the room feeling fuller than usual. Having been so preoccupied with his own drama of late, Kurt noticed that he failed to account for the new additions to the group.

Brittany had signed up, managing to convince Santana and, in turn, Quinn to do so as well. The three sat somewhat disconnected from the others, only Brittany looking even remotely happy to be there. Kurt made a note to sit with her at the next rehearsal, he had been far too distant for no real reason at all.

Through that had come the additions of Mike Chang and Matt Rutherford, football players but also really great dancers as Kurt had come to learn. He knew that he himself was fairly good, but Mike and Matt were in a different league, only matched by the talents of Brittany.

Prior to this meeting, Kurt had thought that the biggest change to the club was the addition of Sam Evans. Kurt was immediately reminded of Kevin in both physical appearance and overall demeanour. He had given everyone a friendly smile, and if his gaze lingered a little longer on Kurt, well that was all fair in the name of imagination, wasn't it?

It was then that Kurt had realised that they had twelve members, and enough to qualify for Sectionals. He was a little proud of himself for recruiting the cheerleaders and, by association, the jocks, considering them the big draw of the club despite the delusion that Rachel had about that being her. He hadn't really done that much at all, just tried to convince Brittany; it was really the blonde who had done the rest of the work. Kurt was surprised that she had managed to get through to Quinn, and was more surprised that Kevin had managed to repair the damage done to their friendship.

Quinn had approached the subject with him during an English class. She recounted her earlier conversation with Kevin and had apologised for not trusting him. Kurt had accepted immediately, knowing that she needed someone around. Quinn asked quite sheepishly whether or not he would still be attending the appointment with her, to which Kurt agreed. And that was that. No extra drama, no awkward pauses, they had just ended up right back where they had been before the confrontation. He liked that a lot, and just wished the same would hold true for his situation with Kate.

Ever since the Glee Club rehearsal that had been manipulated by Rachel, Kate had kept her interactions with him to a minimum. She had with Tina in rehearsals, and had even begun to make friends with Mercedes, probably in an effort to not feel so alone without Kurt's presence. Kurt was glad that she was forging new connections, so that she could keep them for when they patched up their misinterpreted differences in the near future.

"Alright, guys!" Mr Schuester started the session with his usual vigour, something that both impressed and irked Kurt. "Before we begin probably, I'm excited to announce that we have not seen the end your recruitment efforts!"

Kurt looked around the room, where he caught Quinn's mischievous grin.

"Please welcome our newest member, Kevin Pearson!"

Kurt stared dumbly at the door as Kevin jogged in, smiling and waving to the group. A smile crossed Kurt's face. "Kev, what's going on?"

Kevin looked to Mr. Schuester. "Well, since Figgins retracted the budget for the play, I thought I might as well see what the fuss was about."

"We're excited to have you Kevin, if you're anywhere as good as your sister, you'll be very welcome here."

Kevin dipped his head. "Kate's the singer in the family, but I suppose I'm okay."

Kate smiled. "You're really good, Kevin."

Kevin took the only spare seat on the back row, in between Mike and Sam. Kevin fist-bumped both of them and Kurt chuckled at how easy Kevin how had settled into a completely new environment.

He accidentally locked eyes with Kate, who was staring across at him sadly. He flashed her a gentle smile, which she didn't quite return but Kurt could tell that she desperately wanted to. That was progress.

Mr. Schuester rubbed his hands together. "Right, since we've had a very sudden influx of new members, we'll need some time to gel before our Invitationals performance. I'm thinking we take it back to what we did in Glee glory days."

Santana snorted. "So what? We're gonna segregate the group and wear hippie necklaces?"

"Not quite that old, Santana. And no. What I was thinking was a nighttime lock-in at the auditorium."

Mercedes frowned. "So you're saying we have to voluntarily come back to school after it ends?"

Mr Schuester shrugged. "It could be fun. We can order pizza and you guys can get to know each other a little bit better. Play some games, get to know each other's voices, and maybe even brainstorm some songs for Invitationals."

Rachel shook her head. "I'm not letting some amateur choose my solo, Mr Schue."

Santana scoffed. "Listen up, Barbra Streisand Lite, if Schue here has any sense at all, the only solo would go to me so you can just pipe down."

Mr Schuester sighed. "You see what I mean? We can't be having this sort of in-fighting if we're going to take Sectionals."

Sam frowned. "Is anyone else confused about these competitions? Like…what even is an Invitational?"

Kurt turned to him, heart beating a little quicker than normal in his chest. "It's optional, it's just a way for choirs to hone their set-lists before competition."

"So Invitationals isn't a competition?"

Kate shook her head. "Think of it as a public rehearsal."

Sam nodded. "Got it."

Mr Schuester smiled at the teamwork. "So, who's up for a lock-in?"

One by one, the group raised their hands. Rachel and Quinn were the last to agree.

With everyone's approval (and a request to get permission from their parents), Mr Schuester outlined the plan for the lock-in, which Kurt was thinking more and more was a good idea. He could have some time to mend things with Kate, get to know the new members, and hopefully stand out enough to get a line or two at Invitationals.

That was how thirteen Glee club students ended up hauling their sleepover bags into the auditorium, finding a good place to set them up.

Kurt and Kevin found spots next to each other, as per usual, noticing that Kate had decided to put her things next to Tina and Mercedes.

"I'm gonna talk to her tonight."

Kevin nodded. "I've tried, but she's in one of those moods, she won't listen to reason because she's convinced herself of her own truth."

Kurt blew out a breath through his nose. "Have I mentioned how delightfully strange it is to have you in Glee Club with me?"

Kevin smiled. "You think I made the right choice?"

"Definitely. I mean I'd never pass up an opportunity to spend more time with you, but I also think you'll enjoy it. And with the cheerleaders joining, we're not as lame anymore."

"Oh no, it's still pretty lame," Kevin replied swiftly, a smirk plastered onto his face.

By the time everyone was settled, Mr. Schuester called them round for their first task.

"So to try and get you guys to mesh together, I thought we'd have a little duets assignment. I'm going to assign you to pair up with someone you might not usually think to sing with, and then you have to come up with a song to perform. It'll be good to help you guys relax a little with each other and give me some combination ideas for Sectionals!"

Rachel didn't waste a single second. "But Mr. Schuester, there's thirteen of us. One of us will have to be a trio."

"I already thought about that, Rachel, and you'll be singing with me."

The group exchanged a strange look, but Rachel humphed.

"This will spare all of you the momentous task of having to sing with me."

Nobody responded, though Santana gave her a little snort.

Mr. Schuester referred to his list on his clipboard and nodded to himself. "Alright…so Artie, I'd like you to sing with Matt. Tina, you'll be with Quinn. Mercedes and Kate, I'd like to see what you both could do together. Brittany, you'll be with Sam. Kevin, you'll be with Mike. So that leaves Kurt and Santana."

Everyone's eyes rested on their duet partner. Some looked apprehensive, and others just smiled. Kate, for one, was happy to be working with Mercedes. She thought that Mr. Schuester was going to end up pairing her with Kevin or Kurt in an effort to try and build a bridge. She knew it was something that needed to be done, she just didn't want to be the one to admit that she was probably wrong. She would also have liked to get to the bottom of the Rachel situation first, but didn't actually want to speak to the girl of her own accord.

Artie wheeled himself over to Matt as they gave each other a quick fist bump.

Tina shuffled herself over to Quinn and retreated even further into herself than usual.

Brittany bounded over to Sam, introducing herself properly and giving him a hug.

Mike found himself walking over to Kevin, clear the other boy was not about to move from his spot. They exchanged an easy smile and struck up a conversation about something or other.

Kate leaned on Mercedes, smiling up at the girl.

Kurt picked himself up from his spot and took Brittany's place next to Santana. He could feel the girl's eyes on him the entire way across the stage and he gave her a warm smile as he sat down.

Mr. Schuester clapped his hands together. "I want you all to know that there's no pressure at all. Just have fun, get to know one another. Find an artist in common, see how your voices blend together. Or if they don't, see how you can both utilise your talents. I'm going to head over to my office for a little while, but I trust you to actually use the time wisely. Because if I get back and you've prepared nothing…looks like you'll be winging it. You have two hours."

"What about me?" Rachel piped up.

"I knew you wouldn't need that much time, Rachel, so I'll pop back in an hour and we can work on some songs. Sit tight for now."

Rachel was so blinded by the compliment that she didn't see Mr. Schuester's ulterior motive. Everyone else did, and couldn't decide whether to be appalled or impressed. Kurt chose impressed.

Mr. Schuester left the auditorium quickly, leaving the thirteen students to sit and stare each other, wondering how to facilitate a connection with someone, in most cases, with whom they were unfamiliar.

Randall tucked into his food, suppressing the sigh that desperately wanted to escape from his mouth.

Sadly, having great parents like Jack and Rebecca often came at the expense of secrecy.

"What's up, bud?" Rebecca asked casually, staring across the table, emptier than usual due to the lock-in.

Randall put down his fork and tightened his mouth. "Nothing really, it's stupid."

"You can tell us, son," Jack encouraged.

"I just can't help but feel a little lonely tonight. Kate, Kevin, and Kurt are at the Glee lock-in and I haven't really made any other friends at school to hang out with when they're not around."

Jack nodded. "That's not stupid at all."

Rebecca smiled at him. "You could think about joining a club of your own. The prospectus offered some interesting things."

Randall sighed. "I know, there are a few things I'd like to try, but I just have to put myself out there. I'm used to feeling like the odd one out and that's fine, I just need to be a little bit braver."

Rebecca's heart broke for her son. She knew that it hadn't been easy for him being adopted and being the black son to white parents with two white siblings. Randall had considered himself other to the rest of his family, despite their adamant protests that he was just like them. "Randall…you know you're not the odd one out to us, right?"

Randall swallowed. He hadn't vocalised this exact thought to his parents, though from the way it was threatening to escape from his mouth, his body seemed to be telling him that it was about time. "You know I love you guys. And I know I was lucky that you found me that day, who knows where I would've ended up if you didn't."

Jack and Rebecca smiled lovingly at each other.

"All my life I've struggled with the idea of feeling that people want me. My real parents obviously didn't, I know it sounds stupid but I sometimes just think maybe you guys just felt sorry for me and wanted a third kid so badly you just took the first one you could."

That hit Jack hard. He knew that both he and Rebecca had struggled with the loss of Kyle, their intended third child. He understood why Randall might just feel like a replacement, but he had never felt like that to Jack.

Jack closed his eyes and exhaled. "Randall, I want you to know that we didn't make the decision to adopt you on a whim or out of grief. Sure, there was something missing that day with what happened to Kyle, but you weren't just a consolation."

Rebecca nodded. "We really felt something with you. Like fate had stepped in and told us that you belonged here. Which you do, Randall, you really do. I'm going to tell you this because I feel like you need to hear it.

"When we first brought you home, I really struggled with not feeling connected to you. Kate and Kevin, they'd grown inside of me for such a long time that I felt like I'd known them. With you, it was different. It didn't come right away. Oh but when it did, Randall I broke down. I sobbed for hours at the thought of not feeling close to you, then suddenly you were the only thing I could see. It was as though I'd given birth to you myself. Ever since, sometimes I forget that I didn't."

"Really?" Randall grinned, gesturing to himself and then to the two of them. "I'd have thought it'd be noticeable."

Rebecca grinned. "Well, of course. You're always going to have your own identity and that's so important, I would never want to take that from you. I just never considered you as anything other than my son, whom I love so much."

Randall crossed the table and pulled both of his parents into a tight hug. It was exactly what he needed to hear.

"What do you say we rent a movie and have a family night?" Jack suggested, smiling over Randall's shoulder at Rebecca.

"Okay, as long as I can pick the movie," Randall retorted. "I just don't want to have to watch something that's in black and white again."

"Hey, we're not that old!" Rebecca protested.

As adamant as Kate was that she wouldn't be the first to break, she couldn't stop her eyes flickering over to Kurt, and then to Kevin. This was easily noticed by Mercedes.

"Boo, just go over and talk to them. You obviously want to."

Kate swallowed. "I can't. It'll be embarrassing, I'll have to walk over with my tail between my legs."

"We all have to admit when we're wrong sometimes," Mercedes said sagely.

"Like you were about them actually being in love?"

Mercedes raised an eyebrow. "Maybe they're not now. But you cannot look at those two and tell me that they're not going to end up together."

Kate looked to Kevin, who was deep in conversation with Mike. She then looked to Kurt who…was looking past Santana at Kevin.

"Holy shit," Kate whispered.

Mercedes nodded. "Those fine white boys are lying to their damn selves. At least Kurt is."

"Do you think he knows?"

Mercedes shrugged. "You know them better than I do. I just know that I saw Kurt's face when Kevin joined Glee Club. It was like someone just told him that Lady Gaga was joining."

"But Kevin's not…"

"How many straight guys do you know that kiss their guy friends just because?"

Kate hummed. "That's true…"

"Watch them, that's all I'm saying. It might just be friendship but I'm willing to bet my weaves that it's more than that."

Kate sighed as she took one more look at Kurt, who had an easy smile on his face.

Luckily for him, Santana was busy filing her nails.

Santana sighed and her eyes snapped up to her partner. "Will you stop checking out Troy Bolton and give me the attention I deserve?"

Kurt frowned. "Checking him out? Please, I was just making sure he was settling in okay."

Santana snorted. "Yeah, and I'm a virgin. It's okay, I understand, he's a hot piece. He's going to be fine, Mike's the most easygoing person I've ever met and they're already friends."

Mike's gentle laugh floated through the space.

"Was it true what everyone was saying about you two at my party?"

Kurt shook his head. "We did kiss, but it was momentary confusion. The product of being attached at the hip for eleven years and wondering why you haven't fallen in love with your very hot, accepting best friend."

Santana shrugged. "Just seems like more than that."

"Well, it's not."

"You're bitchier than Brittany made you out to be," Santana smirked. "I like it."

Kurt blew out a laugh. "I'm glad you approve. Brittany certainly talks very highly of you."

Kurt watched closely as Santana broke out into a blush that was very uncharacteristic of her, even from the little Kurt knew of her personally.

Then it clicked.

From the look Santana was giving him, she knew it too. "Don't say a word, Hummel."

Kurt nodded. "You can trust me, you know."

"I know, because you're also in love with your best friend, so we're in the same boat here."

Kurt sighed. "Santana…I'm not in love with Kevin."

The girl shrugged. "Okay. Deny, deny, deny. Works for me."

"Right. So what music do you like?"

Santana grinned. "If you think we're singing anything other than Gaga, you're tripping."

Kurt matched her grin. "I think we're kindred spirits."

"More's the pity," Santana drawled through a tight smile.

Brittany watched the interaction from across the room and, although she couldn't hear the conversation being had between Kurt and Santana, she knew that they would get along. For two similar people who had been in the same class for years, they had never really interacted much before so this was important for Brittany.

"It looks like they're hitting it off, wouldn't you say?"

Sam looked and thought Brittany was correct. He couldn't see Santana, but Kurt had the biggest smile on his face, one that met his eyes.

Brittany waved her hand in front of Sam's face. "You're staring."

Sam immediately blushed. "No I'm not!"

Brittany grinned. "Oh, you so are! Do you like Kurt?"

Sam looked down at his hands. It wasn't a specific secret that he was gay, but it was always a big deal when someone asked him about it. He was completely comfortable with it, but just knew that nobody everybody else would be. "I don't know him, I just think he's really cute."

Brittany clapped her hands excitedly. "This is perfect!"

Sam stared blankly at her. "Brittany, I don't see what about this is perfect. So I've fallen for another guy who's in a relationship, big deal."

"He's not in a relationship."

Sam frowned, gesturing to Kevin.

"Right. He and Kevin have been best friends since before I even met Kurt. I think they were four or something, they've been inseparable ever since but Kevin's straight."

Sam smiled. "Well, good for him. It must have been nice having Kevin around growing up."

Brittany nodded. "Kevin's always protected him from anyone who's mean to him, he's like a really hot big brother."

Sam found himself reluctant to admit Kevin's beauty, but he wasn't sure why. It was impossible to deny, maybe he was jealous that Kevin got to spend so much time with Kurt. That was probably it. "So Kurt's single?"

"Very. I think you're exactly his type. But he's never had a boyfriend before, so you've got to play it exactly out of a romantic comedy."

Sam nodded. "Cute first dates, romantic gestures, that sort of thing?"

Brittany nodded exuberantly.

"That I can do," Sam smirked.

"A little tip for you though…be direct. If you try to flirt and play it coy, he won't realise that you're flirting and won't take you seriously. So just use your words, okay?"

Sam nodded. "Thanks, Brittany." Sam felt a little bubble of hope in his stomach at the prospect of talking to Kurt. He wanted to do it that night, but he also didn't want to do it in front of Santana. She scared Sam. He even thought he was more scared of her than of Quinn, who was equally as terrifying.

Quinn was currently watching him stare at Kurt, a devilish smile on her face. She realised that Tina was perhaps the shiest person she had ever met and would not be dominating the conversation, so she was going to have to do it herself.

"What do you know about Sam?"

"The new kid?" Tina muttered. "Not much. Mercedes said she heard that he transferred from Tennessee and that his dad is some big lawyer."

Quinn smiled, even that was more than she expected to get out of Tina when Schue first announced their partnership. "I like him for Kurt."

Tina looked at Kurt, who was…laughing and chatting away with Santana, something that both surprised her and was exactly what she expected. "Sam seems nice, and Kurt deserves someone nice."

Quinn nodded. "That he does. What about you?"

"I don't think I'm Kurt type," Tina chuckled.

Quinn rolled her eyes playfully. "You know what I mean. Anyone on the horizon for you?"

Tina blushed deeply and Quinn knew that she was onto something. "Well…Artie and I have been getting closer lately. I don't know if he even likes me or even if I like him, I just noticed that we've been spending time together and we've been sitting together and lunch and I feel like there's something that could be there but neither of us will know until we try, you know?"

Quinn's eyes widened at Tina's rambling. "Right. You'll never know unless you try. I think you should ask him out."

"M-Me? No, I'm too shy."

Quinn smiled kindly. "You're shy because you lack confidence. You're actually quite a pretty girl underneath that ridiculous goth façade. I don't think that's really you."

"Was that supposed to be a compliment, Quinn Fabray? Because if it was, it sucked ass."

"It could be a compliment. I haven't known you long, Tina, so let me know if I'm overstepping, but I consider myself an excellent judge of character. I think that everything about you is engineered to keep people away from you. The clothes, the makeup, even how you stand.

"Your self-esteem is so low that you'd rather die before someone asked you a personal question that would reveal something about yourself. So you deflect people before they can. Am I on the right track?"

Tina's jaw hardened but she nodded. "Keep going."

Quinn knew she was being tough, but she also knew firsthand that this was something that Tina desperately needed. There was potential there if only she had the confidence. "I'm willing to bet that in the privacy of your own bedroom, you're a completely different person showing a different side of yourself. You dance around listening to cheesy pop records and there's pink wallpaper and age old posters of John Taylor Thomas."

Tina bit back a smile. "Freddie Prinze Jr.," she whispered.

Quinn wiggled her eyebrows. "See what I mean? That is Tina Cohen-Chang. I can see it on your face. So why not be Tina Cohen-Chang for the world to see? Hiding yourself away isn't going to do you any favours."

Tina fidgeted, interlocking her fingers. "I'm scared. What if people don't like me?"

Quinn leaned forward. "Want the truth?"

Tina nodded.

"Fuck. Them." Quinn grinned. "If someone doesn't appreciate you for who you are, they're not worth having around. And hey, I'll like you, that should hopefully count for something."

"Why are you even being nice to me? You're probably going to be head cheerleader next year."

Quinn smiled wryly. "I wouldn't count on that. Let's just say I know about this from experience and I'm going to be needing all the friends I can get. So…how about Carole King?"

Tina frowned, deciding to let it go as her glance flickered to Artie, as it usually did.

Artie was sat looking down at an even quieter member of the group, Matt Rutherford.

"What made you join Glee?"

Matt shrugged. "Mike did."

"Do you like singing?"

"Sometimes."

Artie sighed. "You don't talk much do you?"

"It's tiring for me. Mentally."

Artie nodded. "Fair enough. You like Stevie Wonder?"

Matt's eyes lighted. "Yeah man!"

Artie held his first out for a bump and Matt obliged. They didn't need many words, just the simple ones to progress the conversation. They would pick a Stevie song and run with it. Done and done.

Across the stage, Mike and Kevin were spitballing ideas too.

"There aren't that many guy on guy duets out there."

Kevin chuckled. "Kurt would probably be rattling off suggestions right now."

Mike smirked. "You realise you haven't gone thirty seconds without mentioning Kurt in some way?"

Kevin frowned. "What do you mean?"

Mike shook his head. "Nothing, just wondering if you realised."

"You're a lot more devious than you seem, Chang."

Mike shrugged. "I'm just observant. It makes sense, he's your best friend, you spend most of your time together, of course you'd talk about him. I do the same with Matt."

Kevin smiled wryly. "So what's with the smirking and that thing you're doing with your eyebrows?"

"Just scoping out the situation. Seeing if there's any defensiveness on your part. People still don't believe you're not dating, I wanted to see for myself," Mike explained coolly.

Kevin rolled his eyes. "A gay guy really can't have a straight best friend without it being romantic."

"Not a straight friend that he was seen kissing," Mike laughed.

"Okay, you got me there. Still, do you date every girl you've kissed?"

Mike smiled. "Fair point. Though I haven't actually kissed anyone yet."

"Have you wanted to?"

Mike shrugged. "Maybe a few times. My parents raised me to wait until it feels completely right to kiss someone."

Kevin shook off a very distant feeling that was threatening to creep up on him and nodded. "I get it. But a good-looking guy like you should have no trouble."

Mike grinned. "That's not going to make me think you're straight."

"Whatever, dude, you know you're hot shit."

"It's the dimples," Mike preened. "Though they've got nothing on Kurt's dimples. They're so cute."

"Are you sure you don't want to date Kurt?"

Mike turned around to look at the boy in question, who was currently going through a scale. "I could break me off a piece of that for dinner."

Kevin gaped. "Man, I cannot tell if you're serious."

"I'm not. But if I was into guys at all, you'd have competition buddy."

Kevin sighed. "Really not in the running, man."

"Alright, alright, I'll stop. So do you wanna sing Lucky by Jason Mraz?"

Kevin swatted Mike's arm and suppressed a guffaw. "You are the worst."

Mike groaned. "I think that title is saved for Miss Carlotta over there."

Rachel was pacing the stage, deliberately walking very close to the individual groups, doing her own warm-ups, chanting her "me's" through her admittedly impressive range. She saw this as an opportunity to observe the newer members of the group and scout out for any new threats. She had already dismissed Brittany and Quinn as their speaking voices implied that their singing voices were far too thin to compete.

She was really interesting in Santana's voice. She needed to hear her sing, and knowing that she and Kurt would be tackling a Lady Gaga number held promise. She knew that Santana wouldn't be better than her, because who was? She just worried that Schue would hear her voice and brand her unique or a breath of fresh air and give her some stage time that Rachel rightfully deserved. She worked hard and deserved every solo. The point of competition was to showcase your best singers after all. That was her. Schue would be a fool if he didn't hand her an Invitationals solo. There was a reason he picked her to duet with, he knew that she was the best of them.

When Mr. Schuester did return to start practising something with Rachel, he answered their silent pleas and removed her from the room, taking her to the choir room to rehearse. Rachel gave them all a smug grin on the way out.

Kurt growled. "If she happened to drown before Invitationals, would you all be my alibi?"

Laughs echoed around the room as the group realised that they were in fact that. A group. A silent message seemed to float around the room that they were done with their tasks, albeit with little rehearsal, but the point of the performances was to experiment anyway.

While Kate was busy in conversation with Mercedes, she felt a presence loom behind her. She knew that it would be Kurt before she even turned out, she had almost prepared for it.

"Can I have a minute?"

Mercedes smiled. "I'll go and talk to Tina."

Kurt nodded his thanks and took Mercedes' spot, looking Kate in the eyes properly for the first time in a while. "I miss you."

Kate knew from the moment he uttered those words that everything was going to work itself out. She missed him too, more than she realised that she would, and every piece of her anger towards him had simply faded away. "Me too. I'm sorry I'm such a bitch."

Kurt shook his head, swallowing heavily. "I was thinking about it over the last few days and I think it didn't help that you didn't know the whole story. I want to apologise if it felt like we were keeping something from you. Kevin told your dad, I stayed in Randall's room and told him, and Jack probably told Rebecca that night. I can see why you felt left out. And I hope you know that it wasn't our intention."

"But it wasn't my business!" Kate squawked, finally coming to her senses. "I just hated hearing about from someone random at school. I don't have many friends here, so it just made everything feel worse."

Kurt sighed. "I'm going to give you the short version, mostly because I don't want to rehash everything again. When Finn and Quinn kissed, I got sad and went outside. It was only while talking to Randall that I realised I don't actually like Finn and I never really have, I just wanted an ideal to fixate on, you know?

"Kevin followed me and, honestly I don't know what was going through his mind. We talked a little and then he kissed me. That's really it. But we're not in love with each other."

Kurt looked away. "It was everything I could have imagined my first kiss being like. It just sucks that it wasn't with the guy I'd end up marrying, that was always my fantasy."

Kate wasn't so sure about that but ignored it. "At least it was good."

Kurt nodded. "I want to explain what happened with Rachel."

Kate shook her head. "No need. Once again, I overreacted. What a surprise! I know now that she was doing it on purpose to manipulate both of us. I'm just shocked that it worked."

Kurt grinned. "She's not the most subtle of creatures."

"I'm glad we're friends again." Kate leaned forward and wrapped Kurt in a gentle hug. "I know you don't hug people who aren't Kevin and Brittany, but I'm doing this."

Kurt smiled, meeting Kevin's eyes across the room. He gave a quick thumbs up. "That's okay, I don't mind."

Kurt's mind raced as he rifled through a grocery list of topics. He mentally prepared his harmonies for his and Santana's performance of Dance in the Dark, he checked in on his compartmentalised list of things he was anxious about to worry about in bed, starting with the Karofsky business that he hadn't even begun to try to unpack.

His let his eyes wander across the room, first to Kevin, who was smiling back at him. Then they rested on Santana, who raised a pointed brow and gave her best Cordelia Chase smirk. Then they landed on Sam Evans, who was keeping busy trying not to look over in his direction. Sam's blush implied something Kurt didn't even want to consider lest he end up breaking his own heart, but something niggled inside of him and he wasn't sure what exactly his body and brain were trying to tell him.

Whatever it was, it could wait. He didn't have time for his mind's subliminal messaging at this precise moment.

He settled for giving Sam a subtle wave and looking away, anywhere but at the boy in question, or at Kevin, whom he knew would have picked up on his entire introspection just with a single glance.

Next on his list: analyse why the fuck your heart is beating so fast you feel like you might die.