A/N: Believe it or not: this one is actually a little longer than normal! It does get emotionally heavy, but I think you might like it. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Three months later...
Even though it was the weekend before Thanksgiving, Patrick and Annabeth made her ready to go all in on holiday cheer this year. Well, Patrick and Annie. One day, she came home from school and declared her name change at dinner. She decided that she preferred Annie because it was a big girl's name and because her friends liked calling her that.
Embracing their holiday cheer is how they ended up Christmas tree shopping, before grocery shopping, on this late November day. Weeks ago, Patrick started nudging her to get the tree up.
She had a loaf of bread in the oven, with the cabbage stew she'd been craving since Annie requested it last week on the stovetop. Every night since Annie arrived, she made it a point to be home in time to either prepare dinner or order something in for the three of them to sit at the table and eat together. Her work responsibilities remained the same, so she couldn't be there every single night, but Patrick was always there with her for dinner even if she wasn't. After a day apart, it was important for her to come together with them and share a meal. After all, she remembered the Lisbon family dinners before life went to hell in a handbasket where her mom made the most amazing meals—even when they were from a box. It was a tradition she wanted to continue.
Patrick was busy assessing whether he wanted to eat cabbage stew or find an alternative-but quietly so as not to offend her. She smiled a bit at his curiosity as he started talking to her. "So when do you want to put the tree up?"
"The day after Thanksgiving."
"The day after Thanksgiving? The holiday season is practically half way over by then!"
"Patrick, I've never put the tree up before Thanksgiving. Why rush to all the...Santa business...before we properly give thanks for what we do have?" Of course, he rolled his eyes at that. His insistence that they put the tree up so soon also prompted Annie's protests.
Finally, she gave in last weekend and said they could put the tree up. When she brought out the artificial tree she usually put up in the living room, Patrick stared at her in exasperation. "That's what you call a Christmas tree?"
After much protesting from Patrick, she finally gave in and decided to get a real tree. "Ok, fine! We can go get a real tree, but you're responsible for keeping it alive. And it can't be too big! We barely have space as is!"
As he kissed her cheek in joy that she finally came to see things from his point of view, she thought of how Patrick made her once black and white existence full of color. And of course, Annie added another layer to her life now, too. She loved having her niece here with her. At first, it was an adjustment. Annie seemed to enjoy her school, and she made friends easily, which didn't surprise her aunt. Two weeks ago, Teresa came home and Annie rushed to see her at the door.
"Look, Aunt Reese! I got invited to Marisa's birthday party!"
"Oh that's great, sweetie." Obviously, it was kindergarten, so the girl probably invited her entire class, but seeing Annie so happy to be included meant everything.
Though, teaching her about gift selection and giving was a bit difficult with her Uncle Patrick there. He decided she also deserved a present for being such a big girl and getting her friend a nice present. He doted on, and borderline spoiled her niece rotten, in spite of her objections. A good degree of spoiling came from their pickup and drop off arrangement. She usually dropped Annie off at school in the morning, and Patrick picked her up. They figured a car lot with kid-friendly cable television channels was better for Annie's development than time spent in her office in the Serious Crimes Unit surrounded by evidence of gruesome murders. Though, that also meant she got everything her heart desired in those few hours spent with her Uncle Patrick each afternoon. Just last week, she proclaimed him her favorite uncle. Go figure!
Despite Annie's well adjustment and her current happiness in her living situation, things were still rough. Tommy had only taken two phone calls since they returned to California three months ago, and he never called them. Every week, she sent him weekly updates from Annie's school along with whatever she'd drawn that week. She loved drawing, and Patrick said it was her favorite thing to do in her after school hours so much so that he'd bought her an art set to draw and color. Finally, she got in contact with Stan who didn't know anything about Tommy really. He'd gone off grid, and he didn't seem bothered enough to go check in on him even in light of her concern. Stan did tell her that he and Karen were expecting her next niece or nephew. She congratulated him before hanging up.
Tommy's unresponsiveness was strange, especially as they approached the holidays. She expected he would want Annie home for the holidays. Though their arrangement was always meant to be temporary, she knew that both she and Patrick would likely be sad to see the little girl go. She did find out that Melanie had, in fact, signed away her parental rights. In any case, she reached out to her to see if she wanted to chat with Annie over the holidays. She also didn't respond. Without missing a beat, she set out to make the holidays the best they could be for Annie-which meant shopping for a real Christmas tree the week before Thanksgiving.
After stopping for a round of hot apple ciders-in this barely tepid weather where neither her nor Annie even bothered with a proper jacket-they went in search of their tree.
"So Annie, tell me when you see one you like."
"I can pick from any of them?"
"You can, but we have to make sure it's a good one because it has to last until Christmas."
She corrected him. "Until Epiphany."
He looked at her. "Epiphany?"
"I'll explain later."
"It's the twelve days after Christmas, Uncle Patrick! You leave the tree up until then because the first part of Christmas is about Santa, and the second part is about Jesus. Haven't you done this before?"
While he laughed at Annie's explanation, she rubbed her forehead. She didn't quite understand how anyone expected kids to keep all of this shit straight. "Annie, that...was only half right. Christmas is always about Jesus-but also Santa brings presents, too. And some people have different beliefs about what the holidays mean. Do you want me to read you the Christmas story tonight?"
"Yes! Do you mean Uncle Patrick doesn't believe in Santa?"
Patrick cackled at that, while she tried to hold it together. "Oh Annie, if there's anything I do believe in, it's the power of Santa!"
"How about this one?" Annie ran to the tree she was talking about. Of course, it was a humongous tree that would take up most of their living room space.
She shook her head, as he squeezed her hand. "I think it's a beautiful tree, Annie! We could do a lot with that, but I don't know if we even have enough ornaments or lights to decorate it!"
"Well, let's get some!"
"Annie! Is that the way we ask for things?"
Of course, Patrick would get her anything she wanted. When she approached him about it not long after Annie came to stay with them, he had said: "Teresa, she's five, and her parents are across the country. This is already a stressful time for her. Besides, just because we didn't have things growing up doesn't mean that she can't have things and still grow up into a fierce, strong woman of good moral character." She smacked his arm. He was right, but that didn't mean she liked letting Annie get in the habit of demanding things. Her parents certainly wouldn't go for it when she got home.
"Sorry, Aunt Reese. Can we get some more? Please!"
She and Patrick looked at each other. That tree was too big for their living room, and they both knew it. "I could move the tv out for now. We might even be able to mount it, if you want."
"Honey, I think it's still going to be too big for that space."
"Maybe we need a bigger space."
She laughed. "Well, what do you want me to do? Knock the wall out so we can't get up the stairs."
He kissed her cheek. "Not at all, but I think we should get the tree. We can make it work. Come on!"
"Please, Aunt Reese!"
She sighed. "We are going to have to get decorations for it."
Annie started jumping for joy, while he squeezed her into his side. "Now, was that so hard, Miss Grinch?"
"Grinch? I'm not a Grinch!"
"Meh I know, but a man's got to get his teasing in some way." She laughed at that. He was always looking to get his teasing in.
After paying for the tree and arranging a pick up time for tomorrow, they headed to the store. As Patrick took Annie to pick out the Christmas tree decor, she was able to get simple fixings for their contribution to Thanksgiving dinner. As it was technically a game day, and the Bears played the Lions this year, it was as good as any game night. She promised to provide the turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and gravy. Grace was bringing the yams, some roasted veggies, and dinner rolls. Cho and Rigsby were responsible for dessert.
While she met them near the front of the large store with a shopping cart full of groceries for dinner and supplies for the week, they met her with a cart of equal size full of Christmas decorations.
She wanted to ask Patrick if he was out of his fucking mind because she had no idea how they'd get all of this in the car, let alone their house. Or why they even needed all this in addition to what she already had at home. But their cheerful grins were infectious. "Wow! That's a lot of Christmas!"
"We got stockings and lights and ornaments and Santa stuff that we can hang around the house." Annie was clearly excited about their purchases.
"That's cool, but I have some things at home already!"
"That's ok! We have a lot of tree to cover. Besides, check these out! He pulled out three large red Christmas stockings that had their names written on them in gold lettering."
"Where did you get those?"
"They monogram stuff for you here! And it doesn't even take that long to get done!"
"And we have to make sure Santa knows whose stocking he's putting stuff in." Annie spoke authoritatively as she let out a slight yawn. She'd definitely be asleep in the car ride home.
"Yeah, we don't want Annie to get my coal on accident, do we?" He laughed as she shook her head at him. One of him was bad enough, but the two of them together were incorrigible!
Thankfully, everything fit in the car seamlessly. Packing decorations around the living room was a different story. The tree situation made her anxious, but he seemed to believe it would be just fine. While he and Annie started getting their yard decorations outside, she got the mail. Noticing an envelope addressed to her from the State of Illinois, she opened it immediately.
Reading the cover sheet, she dropped everything else in her hands in shock. Melanie and Tommy had both relinquished their parental rights to Annie. As such, she was now eligible for adoption. Her guardianship over Annie was contingent upon rights that her parents no longer had to give-but as Annie was already living with her and she was a relative, she had the opportunity to continue the guardianship and to seek to adopt her. The letter reminded her that Annie was in the custody of the State of Illinois, and that California officials would be in touch with her regarding a home visit to ensure her continued placement was proper.
She laughed sardonically at how hard she worked as a teenager to keep social services out of the Lisbon home for years, and soon, they'd be in her house. She had no thoughts in her head beyond getting that rat bastard of a brother on the phone and asking him what the hell his problem was. She tried calling him three times, and there was no answer. Well, at least his inability to answer the phone made sense now. Stan probably knew too, but he just didn't want to tell her. That's how they were. No one ever told her anything until a flaming bag of dogshit showed up on her doorstep, and then, it was her fault for daring to have a life away.
Panic set in before long. What the hell was she going to do? She went over to the window and watched as Patrick and Annie giggled, attempting to get one of the large inflatable snowmen up in the yard. She continued to process the shock of the words of the letter and her brother's absolute recklessness. Then, came the rage that he would just leave his daughter this way without a single word. That was followed by the absolute horror that hit her like a freight train when she realized she would have to explain all of this to Annie. That was when she finally let the first tear fall. She was mad as hell, but sad that the little girl who ran around carefree in the yard was in this situation.
She started to run the scenarios in her head. What would social services be looking for? Would her job be in the way? She'd have to call her friend Bryan in Chicago on Monday to talk options. Lawyers meant money. Could she ask Patrick for help? Should she ask him? Patrick would probably cover the cost if she needed it-but this wasn't his problem! He didn't sign up for this! Would he want to be involved in any of this? Would anyone actually let her adopt Annie? Would Annie want that? She didn't know how long she sat there like that, but she felt Patrick rubbing her back.
"Teresa! Teresa! Are you ok?"
She blinked a few times. "Um, yeah."
"What is it?"
"Let's talk later, ok? I should get dinner on."
"Aunt Reese, maybe you need a nap!"
She smiled at the little girl as she smoothed down her hair. "I could say the same about you."
"Oh no! I'm busy decorating!"
"Of course, you are. I'm going to make us some macaroni and cheese and hamburgers!"
Annie looked at her in puzzlement. "And what's the veggie? It's a trick. You're going to make my favorite and then make me eat veggies, aren't you?"
"No, baby. I won't make you eat veggies tonight." It was probably the dumbest concession point ever. A night without veggies wouldn't stop the complicated emotions linked to being abandoned that Annie would probably feel for years. It was a little thing she could do tonight to make her feel happy.
"Yes!" She ran along to her next little project as Patrick eyed her in suspicion.
She just passed him the letter she crumpled in her hand. He would worry until she told him what upset her, so she figured she may as well.
"Holy shit." He practically whispered in disbelief.
"Yeah. My thoughts exactly. Well, I have more thoughts that include flying to Chicago, finding Tommy, and well, I'll keep the rest to myself."
"They can just do that? Sign a paper saying they have no responsibilities?" She nodded. "Hmm. Well, I suppose it's better than when they decide to just check out without saying a word and the kid has to figure out what to do."
As much as the reasons for Annie's placement here opened her own past wounds, the idea of a parent walking away also weighed on him. They carried some similar scars, even if they weren't exactly the same.
"Can we talk about this after Annie goes to bed? I need to process this and think of a way to talk to her about it."
He grabbed her into a full embrace. "Let's talk later. Do you need me to help with dinner? You know, we could just order in."
"I just promised her macaroni and cheese and hamburgers."
"Yeah, but if Chinese food showed up instead, I don't think she'd complain too much." A small laugh broke through. He knew how to do that rather well.
Turns out, he was right. Annie didn't mind chicken and rice for dinner-as long as her aunt wasn't pushing the broccoli. After a long day, she was tired out rather quickly and didn't need much prompting to get in bed tonight. As she promised earlier, she got in bed next to her and read her the Christmas story. At some point during the story, Annie fell asleep. She held her little sleeping form, stroking her dark hair, for a bit longer before kissing her forehead and going downstairs.
Patrick was watching his cop show, so she got onto the couch next to him and curled into his side. He wrapped his arm around her, cradling her into his chest.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I don't really know what to say. I can't believe he'd just do this without even talking to me. Well, I can believe that. I can't believe he'd just cut off contact with Annie. I'm going to have to figure out a way to tell her."
"It's ok. We'll tell her when the time is right."
"She doesn't deserve this. No kid deserves this."
"I know. Teresa, we are here for her. What should we do?"
"I can't let her go to foster care with some strangers."
"There's no reason we can't adopt her. I'll call my divorce attorney's office. I'm pretty sure someone handles adoptions out of that office."
It hadn't registered, but he'd been saying "we" in response to her concerns. "Patrick, you're supportive, and I truly love it, but you didn't sign on for this."
"I didn't sign on for this?"
"No, you didn't sign on to unexpectedly take custody of a five year old. You've been great these past few months, and Annie loves being around you, but I need you to know that I don't expect anything from you. It's too much for you to have to deal with this."
Removing his arm from her shoulder, he leaned forward, causing her to shift. He had a wild look in his eye as he shot up from the couch and turned to look at her.
"Teresa, you don't get to decide what's too much for me!" While he hadn't raised his voice, probably consciously to avoid waking Annie, it was the closest he'd ever come to yelling at her.
"Patrick, I didn't mean to upset you. I just meant…"
"No! I know exactly what you meant. You still think I'm some interloper who's just hanging around on a rebound, having some fun."
"No. That's not what I think at all! This is just different."
"How is it different? I love you. Annie is your niece, and I know what she means to you. For three months, she's been a part of our daily lives. We have a whole new routine because of Annie, and that means something to me, too. You don't get to tell me that it's not what I signed on for."
She closed her eyes and sighed. "I love you, and I know that you love me. Nothing has ever been so clear to me in my life, but Annie is a different kind of commitment. I'm just saying..."
"Teresa, it's exactly what I signed on for. I'm committed to you, and I want a life with you. When you tell me you don't expect anything from me, it scares the hell out of me because you're either one foot out of the door or you have such little faith in me that you believe I'd bail. You know what? I love that little girl! More than anything, she needs to know everyone doesn't just bail when things get rough."
"I didn't mean to accuse you of anything, Patrick. I promise. I know where we stand in our relationship. It's just that my priorities are shifting."
"Our priorities, goddamnit!" The roar in his voice startled her as he yelled that time. He shook his head before running his hand through his hair. "I'm going to bed."
She sat there speechless for a moment as he stormed up the stairs. She wasn't entirely sure what she had said to make him so upset. A few minutes later, he was back downstairs with bedding in his arms. "Maybe you should go to bed. I'll sleep on the couch."
"No, I don't want you to sleep out here. The couch isn't that comfortable for sleeping."
He huffed, and she could tell he was pissed off and ready to blow a fuse. "Well, just tell me what you think I CAN handle!"
"At the risk of sounding like I'm gaslighting you, that's not what I meant. I'm sorry that's how I said it. This situation with Annie is a highly involved legal situation. Social services, attorneys, courts-everyone looking to determine whether I can maintain a legal relationship with Annie. I know you're here, and I know you care, but at the end of the day, it's my legal relationship with Annie. I know you wouldn't bail. Just like I wouldn't just pick up and leave you either."
"We live together. I provide care for her too. They will need to see that I'm responsible and not harmful to her well being. I'll comply with whatever they need to know. I want to adopt her too."
She nodded along. "Patrick, you are the most giving, selfless person I've ever met. You'd give me anything I asked you for, but I wouldn't take advantage of your kindness, especially not like this."
"Teresa, you've never taken advantage of me. I want Annie to stay with us. We both know it sucks when the people who are supposed to care don't, but we're the kind of people who care. We care because other people don't know how."
He sat down on the couch. "I need you to let me help. I love how fierce and independent you are, and I would never try to take that away from you. But I need you to know that you don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders anymore. I'm here with you. I want what you want, especially on this matter."
"Annie adores you, and you're an integral part in why this works so well. The last three months have been so smooth because you're here with me. It's nice to have a partner." She reached for his hand.
"It is, so come here, partner." He pulled her into his chest before kissing her hand. "I want to buy a house."
"A house? We have a house."
"One that we can't even fit a decently sized Christmas tree into. Annie needs room to play, and we could also use some more room. Imagine my mortification at storming off to lock myself away and realizing I had nowhere to go. Wasn't exactly the impact I was going for."
She giggled at that. At least he was making jokes now. "I take your point. It was plenty of space for a single woman who worked all the time, but that's not my life anymore. It's the first place I've ever bought, so I'll be sad to go, but I don't think space would be a bad thing. It's just finding affordable space that might be a problem."
"Teresa, I'm buying the house with cash. I've been poking around. There are some good steals on the market right now."
"Honey, I can pay my share of the mortgage."
He sighed. "See, that's what I'm talking about. Don't worry about your fair share or whatever. I want to do this for us. If you don't want to sell this place and would prefer to rent it out, that's fine. But let me get us in a house that's suitable for our family's needs."
She felt a fluttering in her chest. "Patrick, is that how you see us? As a family?"
He looked dumbstruck as he replayed what he just said. They looked into each other's eyes for a moment. He finally answered, in a near whisper that suggested he was doing his best to keep his emotions under control. "Yes. Do you?"
Without hesitation, she answered. "Yes."
"Huh. Then, maybe we should be one."
"Maybe there's a different legal relationship we should be talking about." Admittedly, she didn't know where that came from. She would have regretted saying it or tried to walk it back, but the way he was looking at her now made the heat build in her core quickly. In the old days, he would've had her bent over the couch by now. She leaned in to kiss him. He met her briefly before leaning out. "Let's go upstairs."
He held her there. "If I asked you, what would you say?"
"I think you already know the answer to that, but it seems like you are denying me an opportunity here."
"I'll take care of your more immediate needs in just a moment, but I want to be clear here. So you'd say yes?"
"Are you asking?"
"Well, not right at the moment. I can do better than this, and I would never ask you when your emotions are already running high."
"Patrick, I wouldn't say yes in the heat of the moment. I would say yes because I mean it, but it's not even been quite a year. Your divorce has only been final a few months. There's no need to rush into anything for my sake. Unless you do something extremely shady, I'll still feel the same in a few months or in a year."
He used his thumb on their joined hands to brush a stray hair out of her face. "Oh believe me. I could marry you tomorrow, and it wouldn't be a rush."
The whole conversation was intimate, but the particular intimacy of that statement made her blush. From the way his smile met his eyes and his own slight blush, she could tell he was nothing but sincere. But it was also a look she came to know over the past few months that they spent taking care of Annie together. Seeing Patrick with Annie the past few months left her with a question about his past that she mulled over asking him a few times but ultimately shied away from asking.
"Patrick, you're great with Annie. The night we met, you told me that you and Angela were talking about having kids before all of that went down. And that was what she used to try to get you back?" She hoped to make her point without bringing out too many skeletons and painful memories.
"Yeah. So?"
"You were the one who wanted kids, weren't you?"
He frowned a bit. "Yeah, I was the one who brought it up. I've always liked kids, but looking back on it, it was probably something I brought up at the time because the part of me that knew something was wrong trying to cling to something."
"When you think of us as a family, you see more kids, don't you?"
He actually blushed. "Sometimes, I wonder if they will look like Annie."
She hadn't expected quite that level of admission, but it was one of the qualities he had that endeared her to him. She captured his lips. This time, they shared a passionate kiss.
Breaking away, she caught his eyes. "I've always wanted to be a mom, but I wasn't sure if it would ever really happen. Finding someone who'd I want to start a life with never really seemed possible with my job and everything else. At least until I met you. Patrick Jane, you're the only man I'd go with on either of those journeys."
"Yeah?"
She nodded. "You actually commit to people. You've got a kind and generous heart with a childlike spirit. Well, sometimes a little too childlike." She winked at him as he squeezed her shoulders. "But I know you would be the best kind of dad."
He was practically giddy with excitement with a smile that reached his watery baby blue eyes. She placed a hand on his jaw as a tear fell down his cheek and he kissed her palm. She wondered if their kids might have his eyes. She'd have a hard time ever denying them anything if that were the case.
"Sorry to make a fool out of myself. That's just...no one has ever said…you think I'd be a good dad?"
She smiled at him. "It's ok to cry. And yes, I know you'll be an amazing father. When I see how you are with Annie, I know you'll be the same way with our kids."
He kissed her. "I hate to repay a compliment with a compliment, but I think you'll be a great mom, too. Mmm...maybe that has less effect than what you said to me. It definitely sounded better before it came out."
She laughed. "It was fine."
He started to stroke her hair. "When do you think we should start? Do you have a timeline? Should you see your doctor first?"
Oh. He was ready to get this show on the road. Without a single doubt in her mind, she knew she could be married and working on her first baby by this time next week if she told him that's what she wanted. Well, a part of her would've loved that, but they also had to consider Annie. They didn't know what this process would look like and what she needed from them to get through this.
"I think seeing my doctor would be a good first step. I need to make sure it's safe to stop my birth control. But honey, do you mind waiting until we've got a handle on this whole adoption thing before we start?"
"That's perfectly reasonable. Besides, we already have a daughter."
She let her hand rest on his heart. There was no way he knew how big his heart truly was. "We do."
"But I just can't believe you want to wait that long to have sex again because you seem like you're about to combust right now."
She swatted his arm, but he captured her and pulled her in for a kiss. "I want you to be Teresa Jane-or Teresa Lisbon-Jane-or hell, Teresa Lisbon. Whatever you prefer, but I want a family with you."
She lifted her hand and placed it on his cheek. "That's what I want, too. We can negotiate the name situation later."
He shrugged. "I also want a couch in our new bedroom."
She laughed as she stood, gesturing for his hand. "Fair enough. Let's get to bed."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
They decided to tell Annie after Thanksgiving. It was a horrible time of the year to tell a child that she was a legal orphan, but they decided telling her before a stranger from social services showed up to talk to her would be best.
On Tuesday, she received a call from social services. They set up a home visit for next week, so she was sure to put in for the time off. Bryan told her to comply with everything fully, and he agreed to represent them in Illinois. She briefly considered whether she should tell Minelli about what was going on. Should she get out of the rotation for out of town assignments? Should she request reassignment all together? Her career had always meant the most to her, and it was still important, but her family took priority. And well, these were all things she'd have to think of as she and Patrick moved toward trying to conceive.
On Wednesday, the Director of the CBI called a half day and sent everyone home until Monday. Patrick had a few listings already that he wanted to look at, so they looked at a few places before Annie got out of school. While he could've totally picked something on his own that she would most likely love, it was nice that he included her in the process. After they picked Annie up, she went home to ready the house for Thanksgiving dinner. Patrick moved the tv to a different wall and got the couch situated so people could watch the game.
On Thanksgiving morning, Annie was the first one up. She lagged a bit, especially until she had her first cup of coffee.
"Aunt Reese, can I watch the parade?" After giving her a muffin and some juice, she put the parade on for Annie.
"Good morning, beautiful." Patrick entered the kitchen with a peck on her lips.
"Your kettle is on."
"Thank you. What do you need me to do?"
"Nothing! The guys will be here in a few hours, so just make sure you're dressed when they get here."
Suddenly, Patrick was behind her and wrapping his arms around her. "I was a little sad that you were already out of bed when I woke up. Are you sure you don't need a quick...nap?" As juvenile as it was, his innuendo made her smile.
"I'm well rested."
"Have you showered yet?" He caught her eyes. The sneaky bastard!
"Not yet."
"Two birds...one stone. Annie's watching the parade."
She peeked around the corner. Annie was entranced in the parade, and 30 minutes left to her own devices wouldn't hurt her. It certainly wouldn't delay dinner.
And that's how she ended up in the shower with one of Patrick's arms wrapped around her and the other on the wall to hold them steady as he jackhammered into her from behind-and she tried her best not to scream at the top of her lungs in ecstasy.
After their shower, she dressed quickly. She put on the Bears dress she'd bought in Chicago. He was already giving her that look again.
"Ok, seriously. Down, boy!" They'd both been practically insatiable since Sunday evening. After their mutual confessions, they couldn't keep their hands off of each other.
"I didn't say a word. I'm just admiring my woman's beauty and radiance."
She kissed him before sprinting out of their bedroom. She had work to get done to make this holiday go smoothly. Wayne and Grace arrived first. Patrick helped get the dishes and beer into the house. As soon as he was inside, Wayne declared that Cho was bringing the dessert. Whether or not that was to cover his own ass for forgetting remained to be seen. She had a pie in the freezer she could thaw just in case.
Though, no one needed to worry. Cho arrived with a few different pies, including a strawberry rhubarb pie. She contemplated hiding that one from everyone else and eating it herself, but that would probably make her a terrible hostess. Though, by her third piece that evening, it was clear that it was indeed her pie.
"Sorry, we don't have as much room as we normally do. But we do have a huge Christmas tree!"
Grace laughed. "I saw! It's nicely decorated, so is the yard."
"Uncle Patrick and I did that!" As soon as Annie saw Grace, she gravitated toward her. She was a curious child who gravitated toward good energy. Hopefully, that was something that she would continue throughout her life.
"Well, you guys do a great job!"
"Thanks! I don't think Aunt Reese wanted us to decorate so much."
"Annie! That's not true. We just don't have a lot of space in this house. We're looking for a new house."
Cho, who she could've sworn was deep into the game, responded to that first. "You guys are buying a house together?"
"Yeah, we already live together. This house is tiny for the three of us. We want something with more space, and hopefully, a yard for Annie to play in."
Cho turned from the game and faced her. "So are you guys getting married?"
She hadn't much time to talk with them this week about their push to adopt Annie and some of the plans they discussed. Patrick chimed in. "Kimball, my man, you've got to give some guy a room!"
Cho narrowed his eyes. "You do remember what I told you, don't you?"
Patrick blanched a bit. "I do, and don't worry. I've got everything handled."
"Good." Cho returned to the game. She raised her eyebrow at Patrick, who just shrugged it off. She had no idea what they were talking about, but it was an intense little exchange.
They had dinner after the first game. Dessert came during the second game. Annie had spent most of her day showing Grace her assortment of dolls, even inviting her to her room to see everything she had going on up there. Grace was sweet and obliged her whims. It made her heart heavy. She wished Annie had other kids her age around.
Soon enough, Annie was tuckered out. She had crawled into Teresa's lap as the nighttime game played. She fell asleep right there, so Patrick carried her to her bed.
When he got back to the couch, she decided to tell the team. "So we wanted to talk to you guys."
"Now, boss?" She nodded at Rigsby's question. He really was like one of her brothers—except he usually shared vital information with her.
Patrick took her hand before she could even look to him for support. "Annie's parents have terminated their parental rights, which means she's now up for adoption."
"What?!" Grace exclaimed before placing her hand over her mouth.
Teresa nodded. "I got a letter this weekend. She's now a ward of the State of Illinois. Social services is starting its investigation and home visits next week. We want to continue our guardianship, and well, we are in the process of trying to adopt her."
"Good."
"Cho!" Rigsby immediately regaled Cho's curt comment, but honestly, she understood him.
"What? She's obviously happy here, and if she's got nowhere else to go, this is the best place for her with a family that cares." Rigsby nodded along as he processed what Cho said. Of course, Cho would be supportive, even if it was in the most pragmatic way possible. "And besides, they seem good at taking care of a kid."
"Thank you, Cho. But we haven't told her yet. We wanted to get through Thanksgiving. If I had my way, I'd wait through Christmas, but I want her prepared to talk to the social worker if anything comes up."
They all nodded before Cho spoke up again. "So have you told Minelli?"
"I haven't. Honestly, I don't know what to say. But one reason I wanted to talk to you guys is that I don't know what this means for my continued leadership of our team."
They all gave her a grave look. "What does that mean?" Grace was wringing her hands.
"It just means I don't know what this process looks like. If social services takes an issue with my traveling, I'll have to step down. Cho, I'd like to recommend you for the position. I think…"
"Nah!"
She blinked. Not expecting his interruption, and definitely not expecting it to be so abrupt and short. Patrick glanced at her.
"I could finish my sentence. I think you're well suited…"
"Nah. It's your team. It will always be your team. We will figure it out. Nowhere in the rules does it say you have to be out on a scene with us all the time. If I wanted my own team, I'd put in for a promotion." In fairness, he should've already put in for a promotion. She noticed Grace and Rigsby nodding along.
The redhead spoke up. "And boss, well, we want to work for you."
She met Patrick's eyes and saw the grin on his face. Honestly, she didn't know what to even say to that. She just nodded and kept her eyes averted. There was no way she made eye contact with any of them without bursting into tears. "Ok, I'll keep that under advisement moving forward."
After the game, they all trickled out with containers of leftovers. As she started working on the remaining dishes, Patrick came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders before leaning in and planting little kisses on her neck.
"See, you're incredible. You've got quite the fan club."
"Oh hush! It's probably because I let them get away with stuff."
"Nope. They actually like you."
"Yeah, so what was all that with you and Cho earlier?"
"Oh nothing. He just wanted to make sure I remembered to treat you right."
She turned and looked at him with suspicion. "What are you even talking about? Do you and Cho talk about me?" He had the guys over to the lot a few times to look at and drive some cars...or whatever. They seemed to enjoy their time.
He scoffed. "Not that you're not interesting, but no." He took pause, clearly indicating he was considering his next words carefully. "He once gave me the advice of a lifetime."
She narrowed her eyes at him, but was back kissing her neck. He would say no more on that subject. She closed her eyes to ready herself for her next words. "We should tell Annie tomorrow. It will give her a few days to process before she goes back to school."
"I agree. When do you want to do it?"
"I don't know. Is this one of those things when there's ever a good time?" He snaked one of his arms around her waist, bringing her closer to him.
"No, but we will both be there to try to give her the support she needs. We will do the best we can."
She nodded. "I know. Maybe we should talk to her after breakfast?"
"Ok." He kissed the top of her head. "Are you almost done? Should I help?"
"I'm literally washing the last pan right now!"
"No need to get snappy, woman!"
She quickly grabbed the towel and wound it up before snapping him with it. "There's your snap!"
"Oh, you wound me!" He grabbed the towel from her hand before leaning in. "I was only wondering if I could tuck you in?"
She smiled. "Of course."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The next morning, she made a pancake breakfast. It seemed a little overindulgent, and she would definitely need to lengthen her run later for a few different reasons. But Annie loved pancakes, and well, today was meant for the hard conversation.
"Aunt Reese, can I go outside?" Of course, she was finished eating already.
"Not right now, baby. We wanted to talk to you about something."
She frowned. "Ok. Am I in trouble?"
"No!" They both shouted in unison.
"You're not in any trouble." Patrick tapped her shoulder to reassure her. With his other hand, he intertwined his fingers with her own. They'd decided that she would talk Annie through this, and he would provide support.
"Annie, what do you think about staying here in California?"
"I like it here! Is daddy moving here?"
And this was the hard part. Of course, she loved her school and her friends. But Tommy had told her that it was for a little bit. "No, he's not moving here, Annie. It's complicated, but you're not going to go home with daddy."
"Well, he's not here right now. But when he comes, then, I'm going home with him."
"No, baby. He's not coming here, and you're not going home with him again."
"What do you mean?"
"You're not going to live with your mommy or your daddy again."
"Why not?"
"Well, they decided it's for the best, but your Uncle Patrick and I would like you to stay here with us."
"It's for the best?"
"Well, remember when we said adults have to work on things? They just need a lot more time, and they want you to stay here while they do that."
Patrick shook his head at her. They'd both decided this needed to be the truth. Lying would only protect her feelings temporarily while making her distrustful in the long run. "What your Aunt Reese is trying to say is that you can't go home to Chicago with your parents, but you have a home here."
"Can't I have two homes? Billy's parents have two homes!"
"Yes, but that's different. You would have just one home with us."
She furrowed her brows. "Can I talk to daddy about it first? If he knew how nice it is here, he might want to come here, too. Then, we can all live here!"
She looked to Patrick with a pleading look in her eyes. Maybe they should stop here. Patrick squeezed her hand before he spoke. "Annie, your mommy and daddy signed some papers that said a court gets to decide where you live."
"A court?"
"You know, like on tv when the guy wears the funny robe and gets to make decisions?"
"Oh! Ok. But why would a court decide? I live with daddy. Mommy might come back and live with us, too! It's what he said."
Patrick continued. "Well, your mommy and daddy told the court to decide now."
"That doesn't make any sense." No. None of it made any goddamn sense, but here they were trying to explain to a five year old that they wanted to adopt her.
"I know, but you will understand it better when you're a little older. They want the court to decide where you live while you grow into a strong, independent lady like your Aunt Reese. We want to adopt you so you can live with us until you're a grown up, but some strangers have to decide if that's ok first. They just want to make sure it's what's best for you."
"You want to adopt me? Norah is adopted! But that's because she didn't have a mommy or a daddy until her new mommy and daddy found her. Why would I be adopted? I have a mommy and a daddy!"
Before Patrick could continue, she took over once more. "Being a mommy or a daddy means a lot of different things. They will always be your mommy and daddy, and they love you, but they don't want the law to see them that way anymore. So now, the court has to decide who will take those responsibilities now."
Annie was quiet and contemplative for a few moments. "They don't want me anymore, do they?"
She chose to dodge that question. "They want you to have a good life, and we want you to stay here."
"But they don't want me to come home?"
There was only one answer to that question, and thankfully, Patrick gave it as he spoke softly. "No."
She started to sob. "What did I do wrong? I'll be good. I promise!"
Patrick stood and scooped her into his arms quickly, carrying her to the couch. She followed them, not losing physical contact with Annie. They sat so that Annie was between them.
She started trying to soothe her. "Baby, you didn't do anything wrong!"
"Then, why don't they want me? I'll be good. I promise! Will you tell daddy please?"
"I can't tell him right now. I will when he calls." Patrick glared at her. He was pretty clear on what he believed she should do if Tommy ever called again. "You're a very special little girl, Annie. And we want you to stay with us."
She continued to wail. They provided the comfort they could until she cried herself to sleep. Patrick carried her to her bed. Most of the weekend was spent with Annie as she went back and forth between trying to understand what she had done wrong, accepting that she wasn't going back to her parents, and being happy she could stay in California at her school with her friends.
On Sunday night, they explained that a person would be coming to visit them at home and she would probably have to meet them.
"Why are they coming here?"
"To make sure everything is ok with you staying here."
"Are you sure I can stay here?"
"If the court says it's ok."
"Are you going to make me leave?"
"No!" Once again, they were in unison.
"And I can stay until I'm grown up?"
She nodded. "If the court says it's ok, then we want you to stay until you're grown up."
"So that means you will be my mommy and daddy now if you adopt me?" She looked at Patrick. Of course, they saw her as their surrogate daughter already. How she saw them was something entirely different.
"We're still your Aunt Reese and Uncle Patrick."
"But then I don't have a mommy and a daddy. I thought that's how adoption works."
"It does, but you don't have to call us that."
Patrick patted her hand. "Annie, do you want to call us that?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. Everyone at school has a mommy and daddy."
"So do you. Your mommy and daddy are still your parents. They will always be your parents."
"But they won't be here. And the court will say you're my parents now, right?"
"If that's what they decide, yes."
"Ok." She shrugged. "But it doesn't matter to you?"
They both shook their heads as she answered the question. "It only matters what you like to call us. Aunt Reese and Uncle Patrick are still fine."
Because of how difficult the past few nights had been, they took to putting her to bed together. As they left the room, they both heard her mumble. "Good night, mommy and daddy. I might like saying that."
Hearing those words shocked her. Patrick wore a similar expression on his face. They laced their hands together before going back downstairs for some tv time. She laid on his lap and thought quietly about the ways their life continued to shift—without once making fun of his cop show. Life truly surprised the hell out of her sometimes, but perhaps the biggest surprise came in this new love that she found.