It's OK

by DeetsViBre

Lance is not OK. He needs to reach out to his teammates for help, but hes afraid. Rewriting yourself cost something, a deep pain with every edit. When Keith walks in on Hunk and Lance talking late into the night, things begin to change. Space is dangerous. (written during season 3, canon divergent after that) COMPLETE!

9. Untested Convictions

AN- SORRY THIS IS LATE, BUT ITS FINALLY OVER!

I actually hate parts of this chapter. I had things I wanted to write out in subtext but ended up making characters just say out loud (not out of nowhere, but not as subtle as I wanted) because otherwise it would have gone on forever. This fic would have been the GoT of Voltron fics… not that my story is Got level… just it would never finish.

Also sorry for any errors, I edited this more quickly than the other chapters and might go back and fix more stuff later.

Part9- Untested Convictions

It wasn't what Lance had expected. Being himself, while also being them. He knew their past and his own, He knew his future, but not theirs. Then he was in the next one's life, then the next, and the next…

Lance wasn't sure he would ever be able to completely separate himself from them. Always, he would have the echo of possibility in the back of his mind, hidden in the layers of the bond between himself and Keith. Each universe they had dipped into left a coating on the wick of their connection and now it burned steady like a candle.

Lance opened his eyes.

The light of the barrier bloomed hot and white for just a moment, blinding him. Then it quickly faded to nothing. Lance blinked against the black spots in his vision and reached behind himself on instinct, grabbing for Keith in the dark.

Keith could always see in the dark.

Lance's hand wrapped around a familiar wrist, except that it felt… it felt like… velvet? Lance whipped around while still gripping Keith's wrist. He blinked away the final blurry spot from his eyes as the barrier slowly began to gently glow as it had before. He met Keith's astonished expression in the soft light. Lance felt his own shock rush to Keith and echo back twice as strong.

Infinite lifetime's worth of emotion drew them together. Lance felt something similar to the barriers call him, singing through his body, but it was pulling him towards Keith. The other couples began to spread out and like last time they lounged close to each other, basking in the afterglow of universe hopping.

But Lance couldn't submit to the call. He was staggering from the truck that had hit him the moment he turned to look at Keith. His eyes darted around, unable to absorb everything he was seeing.

"You…" Keith stuttered and slowly raised a pointed finger towards Lance. "You look different," he managed to get the words out past his own bewilderment.

The absurdity of Keith's statement rattled around in Lance's head and woke him from his shocked daze. He snorted a short laugh, "I look different?" he shot back.

Keith glanced at his own raised finger and blinked, then blinked again. "What the hell!" he yelled, spreading his fingers and holding his hands as far from himself as possible.

"Wait…" Lance muttered as Keith's seemingly ridiculous comment finally sank in. "I look different?!" He looked down at his own hands, but they were the same medium brown as always. Lance flexed his hands once, twice, and then pressed his lips together in confusion.

A bubble of Keith's panic floated into Lance's chest only a moment before- "Oh my fucking GOD, MY FUCKING- MY- I'M-!" The stuttered outburst was so sudden and so loud it echoed through the clearing, drawing the attention of every lounging couple.

It ripped Lance from his own confusion and his focus sharpened to a point. Keith was bent over with his hands on his head grasping… something thicker than his hair. His desperate shoulders were hunched as he slowly sank into a squat. Lance's concerns about himself were swept away in the rapids of Keith's hysteria. He pushed through the wave of emotion and scrambled over to his boyfriend.

"Rojo?! What's wrong?!" Lance asked frantically as he crouched down and grasped Keith's wrists. He wanted to pull Keith's hands away to see what he was holding, but the overwhelming spiral of fear and panic stopped him.

Keith took a breath that rattled and shook his head.

Lance tried a small tug at Keith's wrists, but they didn't give. "Come on babe… baby?" he pleaded as he rubbed his thumbs over Keith's velvety skin, but Keith didn't outwardly respond. In their bond Lance felt a small jab of pain from every pet name, and it left a layer of shame behind.

Lance had been so distracted by the most obvious change in Keith's appearance, his velvety lilac skin, and then trying to find his own apparent change, that he couldn't recall clearly what Keith was hiding. It was all a blur under the wave of panic and confusion that was whipping back and forth between them.

Keith's breathing began to even out under Lance's calming thumb strokes. "Come on Rojo, I'm a big fan of purple," he tried to reassure with humor and a weak chuckle. Honestly, the light lilac of Keith's skin wasn't that dramatically different from his usual pale white, plus the new feel of it was nice.

One long and deep inhale diluted Keith's fear and then the breath out expelled it, leaving only a residue behind. Keith rocked back off his feet and onto his butt, and Lance let Keith's wrist slip from his loose fingers as the space between them grew. From under his jet black fringe he peaked up at Lance while still covering his head, his eyes were still a vivid violet, but the whites were tinted yellow. If the moment weren't so serious Lance would have found this pose adorable.

Everyone in the clearing was watching with rapt attention, Lance ignored them, but Keith was glancing around like a cornered cat.

"Focus on me, Rojo," Lance murmured. Keith's gaze returned to him, and the words from Lance's heart effortlessly projected down the bond. "I'll always keep you, no matter what."

Keith nodded back, and after another fortifying breath he dropped his hands.

No words could describe this, but Lance's mouth moved anyway. "Oh. My. God…" he dropped the phrase like a valley girl before he could even think of adjusting his tone.

Keith immediately tried to reach up and cover them again, but Lance was too fast and he grabbed Keith's wrists halfway up. "Nope," he scooted closer, still holding the lilac wrists. "You don't get to cover something so marvelous," he muttered.

"You think…" Keith tried to reply, but it tapered off in the wave of affection from Lance.

Lance looked Keith up and down. He was part Galra and it definitely showed now, but his human side still shined through. His skin was tinted lilac. A darker purple stripe came out from behind his hair and ran over the right side of his neck and up his cheek, ending at a point an inch under his eye. His eyes were still human with purple irises and black pupils, maybe a bit more vivid than before, but the whites were slightly yellow.

But the most telling change was poking out from Keith's black hair. Staring from where his human earlobes used to be and ending at points three inches higher than his rounded human ears did, were two slightly fuzzy Galra ears. They were smaller than most Galra ears of this type and had a cat-like quality, but they also alluded to something similar to a bat. Coran's words about cross breeding being likely in many Galra came to Lance's mind.

"I do," Lance smiled gently. He wanted to gush, and he knew his bursting emotions were not well hidden, but he was trying his best to not overwhelm Keith. "Not that I didn't like you before, but this somehow-"

"Fits," Keith finished, his eyes flickering around Lance's face as if cataloging something.

"Yeah," Lance agreed, and their bond resonated. It felt like a tuning fork in Lance's chest. He could only imagine what Jin could see right now. Finally giving in to the magnetic pull Lance stood up, took Keith's hand, and led him to a spot in the clearing where they could lounge with the rest of the couples enjoying the afterglow.

Keith didn't protest, just as eager to settle down. They spread out under a tree. Lance on his back and Keith resting his head on Lance's chest.

Lance's acceptance was a fresh spring that welled up in Keith and washed his doubts away. As if they were his own thoughts Lance knew that this was OK, they were OK. No matter how they looked they had a place in the universe, if not on earth. Keith had everyone he needed in space… but Lance… He knew he would miss his family like the rain. He loved them even though they always brought pain…

"You can still pass as human, you just need some cover up and a hat," Keith murmured into Lance's chest, answering his unvoiced worry.

"What do I look like?" Lance whispered. He was scared. His confidence had always been fragile, and between the Yep-nari and the Zuko beauty standards this planet put him through the ringer. He just wanted to be… himself.

Keith lifted himself onto his elbows. "You look like Lance. With your piercings-" Keith kissed the labret stud. "And your tattoos-" He kissed Lance's chest. "Which we will talk about later," he muttered with a small glare. "But now you look more Altean, you have white hair."

Lance remained silent sensing more on the edge of Keith's mind, and then from the edge it overflowed.

The conversation turned to thoughts fluidly. "You have markings now." Keith's fingers smoothed over the skin under Lance's eyes. He could imagine the crescents adorning his skin there, but then the tips trailed up the side of his nose to caress the bridge, and confusion blurred the picture Lance had drawn in his imagination.

"but not like Allura's," A sweep of red wiped the image clean and began to draw a new one. "They're orange like the sunset." The gentile thought made Lance soft and he sighed, but Keith wasn't done. "Where Allura's markings are you have dots about the size of a nickel. More dots cover the skin between them and get smaller as they come together over your nose. Like freckles."

A picture formed and Lance could see himself the way Keith did.

He was smiling, and his mouth formed a graceful shape, his cheeks moved appropriately, and his appearance was whole. Every bit of him complemented every other bit even though his hair was white, his ears rounded, his skin marked, and his flesh pierced. He was a cobbled together group of features more than ever, but it didn't matter. In Keith's eyes everything blended together, and for the first time he was beautiful.

Maybe he always had been.

Everyone agreed... Suddenly they weren't alone. The bond became a spider web with Keith and Lance in the middle. Pink, yellow, green, and even a hint of black in the distance. They weren't a pair like everyone else in the clearing, they were a family.

Together Keith and Lance shot upright. The layers that had built up around their bond split open and all their senses came back.

"Jin…" Keith hissed.

Lance took a quick peak in the direction of his team and noted they were well hidden just outside the clearing to the left. He surveyed the surroundings. All the couples were still tied up in each other, oblivious to the world like he had been moments ago. Except for Jin and their bondmate, they were missing. Lance tried to remember if Jin had even joined the herd around the barrier, but the memory was overly bright, blown out with white light. He remembered when they entered the forest, but then it became difficult until he was seeing all his other lives, that was still very clear.

"Jin's missing," Lance didn't risk speaking out loud, but he knew Keith had heard him the moment it was thought. The team also seemed to understand the gist, if not the actual words, because they began to spread out, surrounding the clearing, prepared for anything.

Lance focused on exactly where Hunk was. They needed to get to him, to their weapons. "We got to go," he urged, slowly standing up.

Keith hesitated with a burst of fragmented thoughts about the ship part they needed, then it ceased as understanding dawned and he quickly stood up. They moved fast and quiet. The tree line wasn't far and they made it unhindered. With a quick glance back Lance slipped into the trees with Keith close behind, but he couldn't help feeling like he was leaving something important unfinished. Like a rubber band pulled taut that he never let go of.

Hunk was close by. Lance felt him only a few meters away in the forest. As they approached his position Lance reached out with his mind, tentatively but intentionally prodding Hunk, letting him know they were coming.

A smooth, yellow sigh rolled over their minds and Hunk slowly came out from behind a large tree. Lance let out a breath and sped up, but the soft smile on Hunk's face began to fall and his curved edges sharpened with a warning his mouth couldn't deliver fast enough. Behind you and to the left! rang like a bell through the paladin bond.

Time seemed to slow down exactly like it did when Voltron formed. The mind of each Paladin melded together as if they were in their Lions and information zipped between them lightning fast. Lance didn't need to push Keith out of the way because they were moving in sync. Together they dove to the right into a roll, and a soft whisper of air confirmed the mystery projectile missed them both.

Adrenaline poured into Lance. It was familiar and steadying as it spread to his limbs and brought him back to his feet on instinct. Keith was a little slower. His hands were trembling and his mind was overrun by his roaring fire. The adrenaline was like gasoline and Keith wasn't used to containing such a wildfire anymore. But beyond the disuse of his skills there was something lurking, something feral adding stress to his fraying control.

Lance took a breath and focused on their attacker. He had to trust Keith to keep it together.

Jin was behind them, arm still extended from throwing. They didn't seem surprised that they missed and smiled pleasantly.

"Creepy," Hunk whispered.

"Hello, boys. Don't worry, I wasn't trying to kill you, only disable. I didn't expect you to try and leave so soon. No matter, the others will catch up." Their tone was casual and the entire line of their body was relaxed. The loose stance made Lance uncomfortable. It was like someone else was wearing Jin's skin when compared to the Jin he had known up until now.

"That's comforting," Keith snarked, but there wasn't time for banter.

Jin was suddenly moving like silk in the wind, drawing another knife to throw. Without warning Hunk threw the weapons he had been carrying on his back and without looking Lance and Keith caught them. Keith jumped between Jin and Lance, right in the path of Jin's attack. Simultaneously Lance drew up his rifle and aimed where Keith's head appeared in front of him. Keith swung his sword, knocking Jin's blade out of the air and Lance squeezed the trigger. Keith ducked and the bullet caught some fine black hairs as it cut through the air where Keith's head had just been.

Jin was moving to doge the moment their knife left their hand, but Lance's shot still clipped their arm. Jin stumbled, but didn't fall. They clutched their bloody, torn sleeve and their smile widened. Without hesitation Jin reached for another weapon and pulled out a silver sphere.

Lance didn't know what would happen if one of those spheres made contact and he wasn't willing to find out. Keith agreed. Hunk reeled in astonishment over the machine accurate maneuver he had just witnessed and took cover behind a large tree, preparing his blunderbuss. Lance would have gloated if it wasn't such a dire moment, instead he slipped behind a tree that was adjacent to Hunk's with Keith by his side.

In the stolen moment the tree afforded them Lance looked at Keith, locking eyes. The bond snapped, as if the forgotten rubber band from the clearing was finally released, then there was a satisfying pop like a joint moving into place. Keith blinked and then smirked, showing off his fangs as his instincts stretched out in the bond like a waking cat. Lance smiled back, his heightened senses reached for Keith's and felt truly complete.

Hunk already knew what to do. With his gun loaded he leaned around the tree and fired.

Jin's uninjured arm was raised to throw the sphere, but they managed to drop to the ground just in time.

Keith and Lance were already moving. Keith was in front with his swords out, Lance was directly behind, using Keith's body to obscure his actions from Jin's view.

Jin threw the sphere and it rolled across the mossy ground. Keith smacked it to the side with the flat of his blade, ignoring the smoke it released, and lunged forward. Jin pulled a short staff from their robe and prepared to meet his attack, but Keith dug his feet in and lept backwards instead. He landed straddling Lance who was on the ground in a prone position, rifle aimed. He fired before Keith had even cleared his view, and like before his bullet missed Keith by a hair.

The shot took Jin by surprise and hit their shin directly. They went down hard, but their smile never wavered.

Lance got to his feet quickly, still on edge, but before he could even consider his next move three more robed figures broke through the trees. A shock ripped through the paladin bond at the exact same moment the new enemies appeared.

Pidge and Allura were fighting somewhere else in the forest.

The new arrivals didn't wait for instructions from Jin. They broke into a run and blew right past Keith and Lance, heading for Hunk.

"SHIT!" Keith spat, spinning on his heel to go after them, "they want us alive, but killing Hunk-" his thought didn't finish, cut off by the clashing of his swords meeting a metal staff. Lance understood. Killing Hunk would make things easier, it was strategic.

Keith had one assassin engaged and Hunk met the second head on, blocking the attackers staff with his large unloaded gun. The third was coming up on Hunk's unguarded right. The line of sight was clear, and Lance's body moved faster than his thoughts. He snapped his rifle's lever, raised it, aimed and fired before the used shell touched the ground.

For a fraction of an instant as he pulled the trigger a clawing agony struck him, like wet tearing. In the space between the bullet and its target a suffocating silence descended inside Lance. All his adrenaline, the roaring between his ears, the bonds, were gone. The hole left in him was filled with only unadulterated fear.

Familiar fear.

Lance was alone and teal.

No other colors.
He was in the rain on a beach of soil,

Surrounded by every wall he had learned to build.

He didn't see his shot hit its mark with a spray of blood, or Hunk's opponent on the ground unmoving, while Keith's clutching their neck gurgling.

"NOOOOOOO!" Jin screamed, horrible and mangled, but they weren't looking at any of their fallen assassins, they were looking at Lance.

But Lance was looking at the inside of his own eyes, with only a far away shrinking view of the outside.

"WHAT DID HE DO!? YOUR BEAUTIFUL PURPLE IS GONE!" Jin was roaring, spit flying from their mouth as they tried to drag themself closer to Lance.

Lance watched from the shores, through a tunnel, as Hunk took his first breath since the shot was fired, it shuddered, and his second breath hitched. Why was he crying? Keith staggered, but was swiftly at Lance's side. When did he get there?. Why were his eyes so glassy? The tunnel got longer and Lance wished the ringing sirens would stop, but they only seemed to get louder and higher. It was making him feel sick to his stomach.

It became hard to hear over the ringing and hard to see through the pin pricks in his eyes .

"He's in shock! Did you feel it when-"

"He's meditati-"

"Lance! Buddy, you got to snap out-"

Lance couldn't feel his rifle, or maybe he couldn't feel his fingers? No, his rifle was on the ground. When had he dropped it? It's hard to think when you can't take a full breath.

"-Even now Saeg would try and thwart us! She never understo-"

"Shut the fuck up! Hunk, tie them up, gag them, something! Ace, can you hear me?"

Lance could hear Keith, but he was muffled behind growing walls. A hand rested on his cheek and Keith whispered a quiet plea to burn them down.

"Please, don't go."

The beach flickered in the firelight and turned to ash. Lance blinked and everything came into focus. All the colors came back in a rush… all except pink. He tried to remember what had happened, pulling the trigger, the pain he had felt. The memory dripped into the cavern of his mind, but Lance was too far away to catch it, and the sound of it landing made his heart ache. His stomach rolled as his thoughts began to collect and solidify. Something terrible had happened.

Where was pink?

A roaring scream cracked the air like a lighting strike. Lance felt it in his body and could almost smell the ozone. The paladin bond was suddenly overwhelmed and Lance was paralyzed by the intensity. He could smell the rainforest and was coated by suffocating humidity made of grief and desperate denial, it was so thick it turned breathing to drowning.

Pidge leapt out of the tree line and through the air in an arc of feral rage. Their hands were bloody and their eyes were wild, but all Lance could do was wonder how such a huge sound could come from Pidge's small body. They landed on the restrained Jin, and despite them being incapacitated Pidge punch them in the face without hesitation.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS IT?!" Pidge demanded. The impossibly loud words were pushed from their body by the force of their anguish. Pidge grabbed the front of Jin's cloak and shook them violently. "Tell me!" they begged.

Jin gritted their teeth despite the bruise forming on their jaw and lifted their chin defiantly.

The jungle of pain that Lance could hardly see through couldn't hide the sharp intelligence behind Pidge's eyes. All the damp greenery turned towards the blinding sun of intellect that even despair couldn't contain. When Jin didn't answer Pidge used that intelligence to efficiently dismantle their opponent with a single sweeping glance. They released Jin's robes with a sharp push, slamming them to the ground. With quick hands Pidge reached into the low hanging cowl of their neckline. Jin shrieked and grabbed Pidge's wrist, but they were injured and easily overpowered. Pidge viciously tore through the cowl, and from between the rough outer cloth and the lining fell a small metal object that Lance had only seen in pictures.

Jin reached out from their prone position, gold fingers grasped for the ship part in the teal grass. Pidge reached back and then launched forward. A glint of light, quick and precise, revealed a dagger that fastened Jin's hand to the ground like it was a memo on a cork board.

Pidge grabbed the ship part and held it close. A sliver of hope pushed through the crushing despair.

Lance took what might have been his first breath since Pidge's scream shook the air. Anxiety dripped from his heart to his stomach, like ink into water it unfurled into long tendrils that ran down his arms and legs. He was afraid, and with every drop from heart to stomach the pool grew darker and the tendrils twisted into terror.

Where was Allura?

The jagged question snagged like a hangnail in the torrent of the paladin bond.

Then Pidge was running. A streak of blood and fear that shot back into the forest. Lance ran after them, confident that Keith and Hunk followed.

They didn't have to run far.

The tree line broke, revealing another small clearing surrounded by shadowy forest and in the center was a nightmare.

A streak of silver hair trailed down to Allura's lithe body. She was sprawled on her back, surrounded by defeated enemies, and a wing of blood splatter swept out from her broken shoulder like a child's drawing. It streaked down her body, up the side of her face, and stained the braid Lance had done that morning. He slowly walked closer and could feel the heat of the sun warmed sand through his boots even as the leaf litter crunched with every step he took.

Hunk and Pidge rushed past him, but Lance couldn't move any faster. He had known. He had known and his mind had recoiled, jerked so hard from the truth that it had retreated into meditation and shock. A warm hand laced its fingers with his, and the hot sand cooled as Keith dragged him to where he should be.

"Come on. Ace. she's breathing!" Keith called as he ignored Lance's stumbling fear and dragged him along.

Pidge talked quickly while checking the gel bandages that covered the worst of Allura's ragged wound. "She needs more than we have, even back at the Scrap Yard, but if we can get the Castle running and out of dead space, we… she could…" Pidge choked on the implication and began trying to lift Allura. Hunk jumped forward and took the Princess up in his arms easily. He was shaking and Pidge was tear streaked and tired, but they looked determined.

Once more adrenaline rushed through Lance. The lingering thoughts of revenge on Vii, or Jin, and even the strong pull of the meteor were washed away. He lifted his shoulders and took the lead.

"We're going to move fast, no breaks, no slowing down. Pidge and the Princess are priority." Lance looked at Pidge without a hint of the fear he truly felt. "You will leave us behind if we don't make it," He ordered, possibly the first real order he ever gave.

With a caught breath and wide eyes Pidge opened their mouth to argue despite their worried glance at Allura.

"NO," Lance barked. "If we fall behind, you fix the Castle, take the Princess, and leave. Don't come back for us until she's healed, do you understand? Now go!" The very idea of being left here tore Lance apart, but it was nothing compared to the thought of losing another sister. The grief would destroy him. It must have shown through the veil he put up behind his eyes because Pidge nodded once and took off at a run with Hunk close behind. Keith tightly squeezed the hand he was still holding before letting go to run after them.

Lance stayed in the clearing for a moment and hugged himself, trying to hold the forming cracks together with his arms. He looked at the broken wing splattered next to broken people on a broken planet, but he didn't have the luxury to be broken himself.

So instead, he ran.

oOoOo

Lance had never liked running; it had been his least favorite part of basic training. Now, running was his only chance. Keith's grief was oily and dark. Lance shivered as it slid down the bond and coated the surface of his waters. With a burst of speed Keith's fury flared, a bright spark that set his grief ablaze, and the ocean in Lance burned. Keith was sprinting a short distance ahead, but Lance could hardly sense him through the searing heat and smoke. He let his rapid heartbeat drown out the crackling fire in the bond. Lance couldn't lose himself in emotion like Keith, he needed to stay focused and ignore the brewing storm in the wake of his thoughts. He focused on running, on the pain in his side and his cramping legs. He counted each foot fall and compared the recoil that ran up his joints to the pounding in his head.

Abruptly, the forest crashed like a tidal wave into the flat barrens and Lance almost fell to his knees. He was ready to lay down and dry out in the sun, but the sight of Pidge and Hunk farther ahead kept him upright. Without the trees he could see them clearly and he could also see the blood drops on the cracked ground.

It didn't take long for Lance's tongue to become leather in his mouth, but he still ran. One faded ribbon after another marked the way out. Each one reminding Lance of how slow they were on foot. His tattered bond with Blue ached, frayed and blowing in the wind.

The shadow of the wall cut the desert in half, and they didn't slow down as they crossed to the other side. From empty desert to empty houses, they ran, until they heard sounds other than their own feet and then kept running. They didn't bother with any of the underground tunnels or rooftop bridges. They cut through dirt roads, docks of fishing towns, and the shadows of the opulent Yeppeo One towers, until they came upon the rusty piles that marked Yeppeo Five.

One of Allura's arms hung limp over Hunk's and from where Lance was behind his friend he couldn't tell if she was still breathing. He tried to assure himself, as the hut came into view, that they wouldn't have pushed so hard if she had already died… But deep down Lance knew that Hunk wouldn't have stopped even if she were cold in his arms.

Unwilling to wait for help, Hunk kicked the door in with a single swift movement. His violent entrance startled Ja out of his seat, and Hunk ignored him where he sat on the ground next to his overturned chair.

"CORAN!" Hunk roared as loud as he could through the raspy edge of tears and the gravel of dehydration.

Lance scrambled into the hut right behind Keith and Pidge at the same time Fin ran through the back door from the junkyard. He must have first seen Keith and then Lance as he hurried in, because his eyes widened and his limbs went stiff with fear, but when Fin went pale Lance knew he had seen Allura. With no uncertain movements Fin ran to where they kept the medical supplies. Hunk continued to call out for Coran, but his yells only drew in Ja, Luse and Shiro.

Each new person that saw Allura plunged themselves into a flurry of movement, trying to help the best they could, except Shiro. The sight held him so completely still that Lance thought he might have turned to stone. His skin went gray and his breath left his body but didn't return.

Hunk was on the floor now. He had used the last of his strength to gently place the Princess down before collapsing. Pidge had run to the ship with the part clutched tightly in their hand and Keith was right behind Hunk, huddled close. Both looked lost, watching their newest friends try to help, but Lance stayed back. He watched the statue of Shiro become harder and harder with every tick Allura remained unmoving.

When Coran finally ran through the door Shiro started moving, but Lance didn't. The dense smoke from Keith's smoldering emotions made everything dark

People were gathering supplies and yelling orders. Shiro was on the ground holding Allura's hand, but Lance continued to stand on the sidelines. He wasn't looking at her, he didn't see her silver hair, or her smooth skin that was a shade darker than his. He didn't want to see her painted nails, or if her hair was still in the braid he'd done, the same color as his. She might open her eyes, big and brown, she might look at him and her blue eyes might be filled with blame. He might see her skin, a shade lighter than his, covered in blood. The brown hair they used to share might have fallen from the braid, and the silver locks they now shared could have been scattered in the fight.

Lance didn't want to see any of it. He left through the back door that led to the scrap yard.

oOoOo

The silky grey sky sagged in the middle where it became misty chiffon rain. The sudden change in weather shouldn't have been a surprise, it was on theme after all.

Lance stopped under the overhang just outside the hut. He wasn't sure why he missed the rain when it was gone. Nothing good happened to him when it rained. He held his hand out from under the shelter, palm up, and watched the tiny floating drops collect on his skin, but he hardly felt it.

Everything was muffled and so very close to him. Lance was just below the surface, only a slip of water covered his face and separated him from what was happening in the hut. Only that quivering barrier of water kept him together, but each passing moment his outrage and fear threatened to break the surface.

Lance walked out into the junk yard and into the rain. He hoped to drown his anger at the universe, but he only drenched his clothes. He was as soaked in rain as he was in fury. He wasn't sure how long he could keep himself together, he couldn't lose-

"You will do no one any good if you get sick, yep-nari." The voice was gruff but not unkind.

Lance slowly turned around, unsure if the words were directed at him. Saeg stood under the huts overhang with both hands on her cane. She looked at him, concerned, the sentiment filled her pink eyes, but it was those eyes that drew a line between three dots that Lance wished he hadn't connected. He wanted to find comfort in Saeg, but from that one regretful line a spider web formed in his mind. So many things taken at face value were likely much deeper and possibly even sinister. He had always thought there was something more under Saeg's superficial reasons for saving them that first day, now he wanted to unknow it and fall back to hopeful speculation.

Lance wore his thoughts on his face. He watched Saeg interpret his expression and draw the correct conclusion, that he had figured out the truth. Her knuckles turned white from the grip on her cane while the rest of her feigned nonchalance, but Lance focused on the unyielding grip that gave her away.

The cold air highlighted Saeg's exaggerated sigh, which was filled with real disappointment. "I warned you not to speak to the Seon-shi, but I suppose the warning was in vain when it came from me…"

Confused by her last remark, the biting retort Lance had on the tip of his tongue stumbled at his lips for a moment, but he recovered quickly. "In vain, why?! Because the Seon-shi is your kid?!"

"No," Saeg replied, plain and simple.

Lance waited for more, but it didn't come. Instead, Saeg's eyes fixed on Lance's face with the same intensity she had that very first day night, right before she declared him a dan-iro. Then her sharp eyes became unfocused the same way Jin's had when…

The gasp that left Lance was yanked from him by the brutal force of his realization. "You…" He tried to speak, but the betrayal's hold on his throat was too strong.

Saeg looked down at her still white knuckles, now shaking from the force of her grip. "Yes, my daughter isn't the only Seon-shi."

"You knew…" Lance finally choked out. Saeg opened her mouth but Lance didn't let her speak. "If you had just been protecting your family, ensuring we didn't get tangled up with Jin then… but… you knew what they'd see, you KNEW what they'd want!" Lance's voice rose until it cracked under the anger and his next words were a whisper, "What they would put us through… and you-"

Lance stopped abruptly. One final line was drawn, a horrible jagged mark on something deeply personal. The betrayal tightened until no more air could pass.

"That is exactly why I did it." Saeg stood taller and tapped her cane hard on the ground. "I was saving you! The moment my eyes set on you I knew you would end up in that fallacious Yeppeo. That meteoroid has been drawing you in since the moment you landed, you just didn't know it. I was protecting you." The final statement was delivered deceptively soft, like a thin veil over something ugly.

"Bullshit!" Lance spat as an old, but familiar, burning began in his chest and rolled down well worn paths in his body, but the rising acid wasn't self-hatred; it was just regular old hate. "You told me the meditation was for me, to help me! But you were trying to hurt our bond!"

"I was doing it for you! The Noye never leave Yeppeo Six, they can't! They are held there by false bonds and meaningless tradition! They don't deserve-" Saeg cut her desperate plea short as it turned bitter, but not soon enough.

The ugly words she tried to abort rubbed Lance like sandpaper. Even through the rain he could see the anger under Saeg's false concern. He understood when hurt turned hateful, he knew that poison well. "They don't deserve what, Saeg?" Lance asked quietly. He was prepared for the painful answer. This was never about him or caring for him. This was about petty payback.

Any softness that was left on Saeg's face and in her voice floated away with the mist. "Their meaningless pursuit doesn't deserve to be bolstered by your ridiculously powerful bond. That drivel they go on about in their counterfeit religion, it is disgusting!" She declared, sanctimonious and full of righteous indignation. Then she reached into her robe and pulled out a small but thick book and threw it on the ground just short of the soaked dirt. "You all judge me," she continued, slower but forceful. "I saw it in your eyes that first day, and I see it now on your face. You think my devotion to the Yep-nari is meaningless? Frivolous? Superficial? At least they are REAL!" Saeg screamed and stabbed at the book with her cane. Something miles deep was bubbling to the surface in her.

Lance walked over and picked up the book, then he moved back under the overhang. He had only been partly right, this wasn't payback… it was just spite.

The damp book burned in Lance's hands, it was just another series of words that lead to his abandonment. It wasn't ornate and there was no title. The cover was gray on white. The illustration in the center was formed from only shadows that created a soft image without a single line. It depicted the gaping maw within the barrier. The picture was of a time when the maw was new, when it was clean with all its bright blue writing uncovered.

Inside, the book was filled with Zuko markings. Pages and pages of the symbols that covered Lance… it was a language.

"My grandson, he was the one who first read that lost language." Saeg replied to the silence. "He couldn't figure out all of it, but he deciphered enough to know that none of it was real."

The muscles in Lance's jaw jumped at the mention of Vii, but he kept quiet.

"Vii had always been different, smarter than the rest of us. He took a very intense interest in that book." Saeg refused to even glance at the white cover and looked at the ground as she spoke. "That used to be a spiritual text to me, as it is to everyone in Yeppeo Six, but the ability to read it was long lost. Only word of mouth rituals remained and we handed them down, performing them like clockwork. But it was all a lie… that book is nothing but an instructional manual."

They stood side by side with only the soft rain. Lance waited for more, but Saeg remained silent. So he pressed, "Don't you know what the manual is for?"

"What do you think you daft boy? the Machine on the cover." Saeg snapped, suddenly much more herself.

"I know that!" Lance bit back. He took a deep breath and pushed down the scream that was bubbling up. He wanted to know the depth of her knowledge. "I meant, for what purpose? Don't you know what those rituals are really for, what the Machine is doing?" He asked, calmly.

Saeg twisted her cane, grinding the end into the dirt. "What does that matter?! It is not a god, or an ancient being, or any of the other things taught to us as children. It is a Machine, made by people just like us!" She stamped her cane on the ground as a sharp punctuation.

Lance was cold, wet, and tired. His friend… no, his sister was fighting for her life just beyond the tin wall behind him, and this bitch had the gall to act like she had done nothing wrong. She thought she was justified when she didn't even know the whole truth.- that the Machine held in something much worse than a god. Lance was tired of this fucked up planet.

"I'm so tired of this fucked up planet…" He muttered out loud.

Saeg snorted. "I'm sure where you're from is so much better."

"I didn't say that…" Lance wanted to let everything slide away, but an argument seemed much better than thinking about Allura. "Do you know what your problem is? You think you know everything and you let that belief kill your curiosity."

Saeg swung around so fast it caused Lance to take a surprised step back. "I left that behind!" She growled. "That's what those Idiots in Yeppo Six do! I am free from that way of thinking!"

She glared at Lance, breathing hard, daring him to deny her words, and so he did. "No, you just traded one belief for another! You think you are doing what's right because you think you are the only one that is right! But you didn't even ask what the Machine does! You hurt ME and you sent us to Six without all the facts and now Allura might DIE!" Lance covered his mouth with both hands, as if that would scoop his words back in. If he didn't say them it wouldn't be true. He took a shaking breath from between his fingers, and tears pooled where his hands met his face. "She… might die," he repeated, then pressed his hands tighter over his mouth to stop the words from coming again, as his tears rolled over the backs of his hands.

Lance should be explaining the importance of the barrier, or the meteor, but he was having trouble seeing past Allura living or dying.

"I didn't do it to hurt you, or her." Saeg said in a tone that implied an apology,

It wasn't enough. Lance wanted to hurt her, to hit her, he wanted to get revenge on her and Vii and Jin. He pushed out his next words from between his fingers, through anger and tears. "You really never cared about us. From the beginning you wanted to use us and take something from Jin and the others… how could- you… I couldn't-" He pulled his hands away and clenched them into fists at his sides. "I could kill you right now, I could but-"

"You would," Saeg said firmly. Something deep and dark in her pink eyes, something very broken. "If it saved Allura, you would kill me with your bare hands." She didn't sound upset, only honest.

The words struck Lance down to his core. "No… I wouldn't- I."

"You would have killed Fen to save your small one," Saeg pushed.

She was right, but… "But I didn't know him then and-"

Saeg sigh, loud and exasperated. "But you would have… without a thought, and you would do me in as well, to save any one of them."

Lance didn't have a counterpoint, or an argument. He only had a sick feeling in his stomach and he suspected it was caused by the truth.

"I'm old," Saeg continued, her voice back to its usual gruff but casual quality, as if no one was dying, and nothing was wrong. "And you might be right about my convictions, and my blind spots, but none of that is changing. If I want to leave this world with even a scrap of dignity I need to believe what I believe. But we make our own meaning in this life, and there is still time for you. So, let me give you some advice."

Saeg let a moment pass, an opening for Lance to refuse, but he kept quiet. He wasn't sure if it was because he wanted to hear what she had to say, or if he was afraid of what might come out if he did speak, If it would be words or vomit.

"The most dangerous person you can disappoint, is yourself." Saeg's eyes drifted to the book in Lance's hands for the first time since she had thrown it. "We are all a collection of experiences, opinions, and untested convictions. We don't know ourselves as well as we think we do, and we might never before we die. People build their identity on what they have done, and what they haven't done, what they like, and dislike, what they want to do, and what they're scared to do… but the very foundation for most people is formed from a story they makeup. They write the story based on their family, their friends, their society, but it's still just a story…" Silence fell as Saeg took a long breath. She looked as if the mist could sweep her away, but she continued. "People build themselves up on it., a story all about what they would and wouldn't do. What they would always do and what they would never do…" Saeg paused again, and the darkness from earlier crept back into her eyes. "But no one really knows what they will do, until it happens. You can tell yourself whatever you like about who you are, but those untested convictions only become true in death. That's what it means to claim Always and Never. So, don't tell yourself those stories about who you are, just pay attention, learn as you go, and you will be further ahead than most people…" Saeg let out a long breath and moved her cane as if to walk away.

Lance threw the white book at Saeg's feet before she could turn to leave. "But those stories aren't always untrue, sometimes our convictions hold up," he argued, but his voice was not as strong as he would have liked.

Saeg looked down at the book in the dirt, her shoulders hunched more than before. "I didn't say the stories were always false, only that you shouldn't build yourself up on them."

The book sat between them, muddy and damp, but neither moved to pick it up. Lance was still angry, but revenge wouldn't assure Allura lived, and if she were awake she would have warned the people of this fucked up planet, she would do the right thing.

"Don't try and stop the people in Yeppeo Six-" he began, but Saeg cut him off with sharp words.

"I don't think that is any of your-"

"IT IS EVERYONE'S BUSINESS!" Lance roared, the final thread of his control snapped. The inferno of emotions, both his own and Keith's, that he had been trying to hold back, finally won out and filled him with boiling rage. "That Machine holds something worse than a god, something that can't think and can't be bargained with! It's keeping the fabric of reality from ripping apart, you dumb bitch! It's containing the power of a trans-reality comet and it's using all the quintessence on this planet, hell, in this sector to do it and it still needs to be recharged!"

Saeg took a step back, but Lance moved forward to close the space between them. He was right up in her face, towering over her. "You listen to me," he commanded, icy cold. "You will not interrupt the rituals in Yeppeo Six, you will help them if you have too. For the sake of everyone in existence stop being so selfish and bitter!"

Saeg opened her mouth and her eyes promised an angry retort, but Lance didn't let her get a word out.

He poked her shoulder with an authoritative finger. "No, you will suck it up." He began harshly, and leveled out to a calmer but still serious tone. "I know you lost a lot and this isn't fair, trust me I know how that feels... but it is bigger than just you. Once Voltron is off this planet we will send people to help figure this out, then you can do whatever you want, but until then you are responsible for more than yourself, understood?"

The muscle in Saeg's jaw jumped and Lance could hear her teeth grinding, but she kept her lips a tight line and nodded. They remained in a tense silence as Lance backed up a few steps and turned his eyes toward the misty yard. Under the soft drizzle of water Lance heard Saeg take a breath as if to speak, but she said nothing. She did this three times before her quiet words slipped between the sounds of the raindrops.

"I'm glad the rest of you finally caught up… to those eyes you've got."

The bite of shock pierced Lance's skin and the whispered words slid inside. He whipped around to look at Saeg. A tingle of surprise ran up his back and the mist gathered on the raised hair of his arms.

There was so much emotion in Saeg's eyes, but her gaze didn't linger on Lance's new white hair, or brown skin. Instead she met his eyes with clear, unwavering pride.

Lance didn't want to feel his chest tighten, or his eyes burn… He didn't want her opinion to matter, but his vision wavered behind tears that proved otherwise, and his chest ached without his consent. He couldn't control what her pride made him feel, but he could choose whether he would acknowledge it. Lance could-

Fire.

All encompassing flames took Lance's breath, dried his tears, and stole his moment to choose. Keith's bright hot emotions swept every corner of his body, and Lance was sure his mist on his skin would sizzle away to nothing, but the heat turned into a desperate red cry.

LANCE!

Then again out loud, "LANCE!" Keith screamed with the same desperate fire he had projected the breath before, but Lance was already moving.

He rushed into the small living room. Everyone was where he had left them except Coran, who was pale all the way to his hairline. The slight sway of his body mimicked his heartbeat with little resistance. His eyes were bright when he looked up at Lance, they trailed over his hair and across his face.

Keith seemed to appear from nowhere. He grabbed Lance by the wrist and dragged him to Allura's side and down to kneel on the floor. Lance shoved down the urge to lock his knees and dig his heels in. She wasn't dead. He would know if she were dead…

"Lance…" Coran whispered his name with a coating of tears. His hands were directly over Allura's heart, and there was a quickly dimming light coming from his palms. "She needs you. You need to… life force..." Coran's weak voice faded just as quickly as the light from his hands as he began to slide sideways. Hunk caught him gently while Keith took Lance's hands and moved them to replace Coran's.

"She needs Altean life force to stay alive," Keith explained with a restrained tone.

Lance felt an argument stick in his mouth. He had no idea how to do this, but he didn't have another option. He closed his eyes and tried to push… something into his hands… or out of them? but no light came through his eyelids. He clenched his jaw and flexed his fingers, "come on…" he whispered, but all he felt rising were more tears. He couldn't let Allura… She couldn't just… not right under his hands. That would be worse than...

"Look at her…" A rough whisper pried Lance's eyes open. Coran was looking at him through the violet slit of his eyes. "Just look at her, and love her," he instructed. Then his last waking moment passed, it left Coran with a sigh from his lips, and the thin gaze that held Lance captive disappeared and was unconscious once more.

Lance did as he was told and slowly trailed his eyes down Coran's slack expression, across Hunks knee and to Allura's face.

She was pale. Even paler than Coran. It went over her slightly parted lips and into her mouth. She looked less alive than Maritza had. There was no makeup that would allow Lance to pretend. He couldn't stand across the room, or down the aisle, far enough away to obscure details. Keith hadn't let him put distance between himself and the truth. Just like before, in another place, another time, with a different Lance. But unlike Maritza… Allura wasn't still. Her chest rose and fell with shallow breaths full of quickly dying hope.

There was no question about Lance's love for Allura. She filled a place in his heart that had been empty since the sand burned his feet and the rain met his tears. Lance thought his affection for her might reach down to his DNA, that he might have willed his Altean heritage into existence so that he could call her sister in more than just name. But light still didn't shine from Lance's palms.

A shadow crossed over the princess's face and covered Lance's shaking hands. Shiro, who had previously been hunched over with his forehead pressed to the knuckles of the hand he held, was now sitting upright. He was staring at Lance with tired eyes and a grim frown...

He was crying.

That shouldn't have been shocking. It shouldn't have rattled the gasp that rushed from Lance, but it did and it shook free something in his mind that should have been obvious. A realization that was tangled up in all his self pity and obscured by the smoke in his bond.

Lance wasn't the only one who loved Allura… and he didn't even love her the most.

Orange light, the same as his markings, bloomed bright from below, but his eyes remained locked with Shiro's. From above his ocean a large black shield arched. It encased his mind, dimmed the pain from his past and filtered out the smoke of Keith's rioting emotions, but Lance wasn't left isolated. Shiro was in the shield with him and was the shield all at once.

Everything was suddenly easier with the support of his friend. Lance let a small smile reach his lips, and Shiro smiled back through his tears. There was hope lit up orange from below, like a child with a flashlight telling scary stories while knowing everything would be OK.

oOoOo

Lance could feel the pallor of his skin creeping over his lips and into his mouth to match Allura. Keith was behind him now with his arms around Lance's waist and his chin on Lance's shoulder. He was also inside the shield, calmer now, and wearily accepting Shiro's help with muted gratitude.

They hadn't moved for hours, no one spoke, all of them were aware of the proverbial ticking clock that was the pool of life energy that could be offered. A while ago, Lance wasn't sure how long anymore, he began to slide sideways while his paper white hands lost their glow. Keith had caught him, and the shock pushed him to rise above his smoky terror to clean air. With him inside Shiro's shield he was able to share his life energy with Lance who converted it to Altean for Allura. It was a slower, less efficient process, but it worked, except it only worked for Keith. Shiro had tried, but nothing went through their bond, not even Hunks' much stronger bond with Lance allowed the energy transfer. Lance remembered Allura's lecture about Galra bonding and had a faint idea why it only worked with Keith, but they needed a way to accept the energy from their teammates or… they'd fail. Lance couldn't think about what that entailed. He couldn't even imagine leaving this planet if they didn't leave it together, all of them.

The glow from Lance's hands wavered and Keith's arms began to loosen. When the edges of his vision started to blur, Lance knew it was the end. He only had moments more before he passed out, and Allura had only minutes to live after that.

There was a little ball of something acrid deep in Lance. A part of himself that had shrunk but would likely never disappear. It was the only part of him that could admit that he was glad he wouldn't be awake for what would come next.

The glow flickered, once, twice, and then it was gone. Lance wasn't sure if it was the glow or his vision that went first. He was still sitting up, his hands still cupped over Allura's chest, but he could only see what was in his mind, Shiro's shield and Keith's barely glowing ember. He felt himself slide sideways, and he felt Keith's loose arms try to catch him, but he only heard the thump of both their bodies hitting the floor side by side.

People were saying his name, but he was back underwater where all the sounds were muffled. He heard Allura's name, and Keith's, then a distance crash, someone running, someone yelling.

"-fixed!- need to go- grab-" It almost sounded like Pidge

Muffled, hurried footsteps were right next to him. and hands that felt like they were covered in a dozen layers of gauze grabbed him. Lance felt like he was floating, but he was pretty sure he was being lifted. He wanted to open his eyes, but only sank deeper. His ears strained against the pressure and his limbs were held down by the weight of the water, when his feet touched the bottom he couldn't hold on any longer.

oOoOo

A slow collection of lights, like fireflies gathering in a jar one by one, but the lights aren't bugs, they're thoughts. Less than thoughts they're fragments of a single thought, the first one upon waking up. Each light brightened the mind a little more, but smothered the wondrous potential in a thought not yet had, bit by bit, until it's extinguished. The soft, blooming glow of being somewhere between bright and extinguished was full of anticipation. This was always the best part, along with everything that came after.

The first light was unexpected. It had been so long since even a single fragment had floated through the miles of dark that had stretched for months. It brought the scent of a gaping cavern with jagged edges, tattered and swaying in a cold and lonely wind. It was a hole they made together, one meant to be filled, but the light was still too dim to see the way back. More lights came and the sound of the wind joined them. It wouldn't be long before the dark shell cracked; even now the prison of her body was becoming lighter, no longer holding her down and muffling her screams.

Waking up alone was unacceptable. When the path was bright enough she would go to the hole made for her with all the force of a typhoon, because that was the scale of her excitement… to finally go back home.

oOoOo

It wasn't the surface of the ocean above Lance's head, it was the sky. Usually waking up was rising from beneath the water. The surface tension would create a dome over his head that slid away through his hair and he would break into consciousness. Now, he was next to a puddle he had gathered in a glass. The inch of water in the cup had grown from the single drop it had been. Keith was the same, far off in the distance and curled around a tiny glowing coal. They seemed to be stuck in their minds.

Lance wasn't sure how waking up would work now. Would he have to wait until there was enough water to submerge himself? Would he have to lay down in the shallow water just so he could get up out of it? That seem stupid, he just wanted to know what was going on outside his mind. Was Allura… did she…? He pushed his fingers into the sand that stretched forever like his ocean used to. What if he had to wait for the entire ocean to fill back up? He would be here forever…

A soft drip pulled Lance's attention back down to his glass. The water was still rippling from the disturbance. He looked back up to the perfectly clear sky… a raindrop landed on the bridge of his nose and rolled to the left, pooling in the shallow pocket under his eye.

"What the….?" He muttered, reaching up to touch the raindrop on his face. His fingers were trembling, but he didn't know why. It never rained here without grey skies and horrible rolling thunderheads, but the sun beat down on his new desert as another drop landed on his forehead, then another on his cheek. His rapid heartbeat rattled the breath in his lungs as more drops fell.

There was no wind, and no lighting, but the rain picked up speed and Lance realized it was only around him. A perfect sun-shower column surrounding him as it grew heavier by the second. Each raindrop on his skin struck him like a hammer on a bell with a clear tone that resonated down to his atoms. He felt a longing he thought he could only feel for Keith, and it overflowed from his chest like the water from his glass forgotten in the sand.

He wanted to cry, but his eyes were filled with rain. He couldn't scream with his empty lungs, and couldn't breath in through rain so heavy there wasn't air between the drops any longer.

A light slowly grew at the very top of the waterfall, it was so blinding Lance had to look away. Then… without lighting, a thundering roar crashed down and brought a torrent of water, as if the sky had un-cupped its hands from beneath a faucet.

The water slapped Lance down before sliding under him and slipping over him, until he was floating alone in an ocean that wasn't entirely his. The light was above him, growing larger… or closers, or maybe both, but as it grew and changed, everything became clear. First Lance could see the eyes, then the fangs, and the claws, he opened his arms while screaming bubbles filled with the name he had missed for months.

The light was fully formed when it slammed into him pushing him deeper under the waters. The force ripped another scream from him which was swallowed by the ocean as the sandy bottom quickly approached. The elation and terror gripped his heart, and he squeezed his eyes shut right before impact.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Lance screamed as he hit the tiled floor…

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Another scream echoed Lance's.

Lance sat up in a panic and whipped around to see who had screamed with him. He felt the tip of another nose bush his, and brown eyes were only an inch from his face. Adrenaline was still rushing through Lance giving him the energy to throw himself away from the invading face while he screamed again.

"AHHHH!"

"AHHHH!" The other person also screamed again while quickly backing up..

There was a moment of heavy breathing and the quiet sound of dawning comprehension. As the shock of the past few minutes drained from Lance's clouded mind he recognized Hunk across the small room, panting with his hand over his chest as if he were holding his heart still.

He was awake! Or dead… but more likely awake! "YEEAAH!" An involuntary yell of surprised joy lept from Lance.

"AHHH!" Hunk jumped and screamed again.

"Why are you screaming, Hunk?!" Lance asked, a tad bit aggressively .

"Because you're screaming!" Hunk yelled back as if it were obvious.

Lance raised his hands in surrender. "OK, ok. We're done screaming," he announced to make it official.

A moment of silence settled over them. Lance wanted to reach out to where Blue normally lived in his mind, but a part of him was afraid it would still be empty. He slowly inched closer to where there had been an aching tear for so long, and he thought he could hear her purring as he approached. Before he could reach out far enough to investigate a retching gasp broke the silence.

Hunk was pressed against the wall, mouth open, and hand clenched in his shirt over his heart. His eyes were wide and glowing bright yellow. Tears slipped down his cheeks and he whispered in disbelief, "Yellow."

That was all the confirmation Lance needed. If Yellow and Hunk just reconnected then his dream must have been real. With complete abandon Lance threw himself where Blue was supposed to be. He wasn't disappointed when he was overrun and enveloped by the purrs and growls Blue used to help communicate her feelings. Rapid fire images and strong emotional impressions came one after another as Blue tried to communicate all her feelings at once. Lance didn't bother telling her to slow down and instead tried to take in as much as he could. He let it fill every neuron until he couldn't hear anything in his mind except Blue.

Then a pocket of something else appeared like a kernel of corn popping. Somewhere nearby Keith woke up to a torrent of roaring fire as Red dive bombed his mind. The Pocket grew until Keith was fully awake and the bond settled back into place, except Red was there too and he wasn't an echo in the background. Lance blinked rapidly as a cacophony of thoughts and feelings that weren't his exploded. He tried to think through chaos and make sense of what was happening. The amount of space Blue's bond took up in Lance's mind was the same as Red's in Keith's, and since Lance and Keith's bond has grown to the point where their minds almost completely overlap… Lance concluded that their Lion bonds would overlap the same amount…

The absolute cluster fuck in Lance's head only got more crazy as Keith noticed Blue and then Blue noticed Red and Red noticed Lance. Keith was sending an endless stream of excitement and confusion and the Lions were growling at each other and Red was practically pawing at Lance, which was weird because it was a mental "pawing".

There was a terrifying moment where Lance wasn't sure there would be enough room in his head for all of the bonds. He needed to talk to someone who knew more about this, like Coran or… Allura.

The name was a trembling, meek thought, but it easily subdued the other three in Lance's head. It brought with it all the memories of what had happened before Lance had passed out. The love and worry they all shared for Allura was like a tuning fork that brought them into harmony.

After a beat of quiet Lance sprung from the bed. He rushed past Hunk, who was leaning back against the wall in a daze talking to Yellow, and out of the room. The white light in the hallway was unexpected after so many months of only incandescent bulbs. Lance blinked rapidly as he regained his bearings and swiftly determined the fastest direction. He took off at a run, but only made it a few paces down the hall when he was struck with a sudden burning intention, which was his only warning before Keith came barreling out of the door on his left. Lance twisted to the right as Keith passed in front of him with less than an inch of clearance. Neither of them stopped despite the near collision, and without missing a beat they both took off running, aware they were heading for the same destination.

The medical bay doors were just down the hall by the time Lance finally registered the gravity of what was behind them. What he could find on the other side sent ice shooting through his heart, but he didn't let it hold him still. With each slap of his bare feet on the clean white floor, he went faster. He couldn't be afraid anymore, even if it hurt.

The automatic doors barely had time to open as Lance barreled towards them. He felt the rubbery strips on the edge of the door grab at the skin of his arms as he flew into the medical bay. Just as the doors were about to close they shot back open as Keith dashed in behind Lance. There were a few seconds of surprised silence that Lance spent fearfully looking everywhere but at the active healing pod.

The room looked vastly different bathed in white light. The same copper pipes snaked around the room, and the same improvised first aid kit was attached to the wall near the exam table, only now the copper stood out too much against the black and silver walls. Without the yellow light to blur the line between old and new technology everything from Yeppeuda looked as desperately jury-rigged as it had been at the time. Lance's eyes wandered over the cyan lights on the floor and walls, and then traced the outside of the active healing pod, but refused to look at the occupant. He absently noticed that the pipes offset the cyan color nicely.

Pidge and Shiro stood over the control panel that slid out of the right side of the pod and Pidge's hand was raised over it. They had likely been adjusting the settings. Cyan light drew Lance's eyes down to where it glinted off Shiro's metal arm, free from its sling and fully mobile again. Orange hair brushed against Shiro's arm and pulled Lance's attention to Coran. He sat on the steps in front of the pod, sagging heavily to the right. He was awake but incredibly pale.

Then Lance finally let himself look directly at the pod. Allura was there, she looked muted behind the colored glass… but she was breathing.

"Is Allura gonna be…" Keith began to ask as he came around from behind Lance. His question trailed off, buried in his fear of the answer.

Pidge suddenly whipped back around to the panel they had been distracted from. They clicked the last couple of buttons and smiled. "Yeah, she'll be fine, but it will take a while." They answered, not taking their eyes off the strong vitals blinking on the screen.

Lance felt as if cool water had been poured over him, washing away a layer of grime he hadn't noticed covering the skin of his mind. All the little details faded into the background where they belonged. His shoulders dropped, his fists unclenched, and his relief overflowed, welled up in his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. Something shifted, like the perfect clink of ice settling in a glass. It was quick and so profound that Lance could hardly feel Keith's repose through the resounding echo left behind. He took a deep breath and held it for a tick, then he turned his mind outward. He had to put this aside for right now, he could deal with it later.

Lance whipped the tears from his face and focused on the pale Coran who was sinking even closer to the floor than before. They hadn't exchanged more than skin-deep words in months. Guilt had wedged itself between them after the story of Altea's two suns and neither of them stopped it. Coran noticed Lance looking at him and his mustache lifted in a weak smirk. "Us old folks can't bounce back like you youngins," he joked half heartedly, but didn't look away. His eyes teared up and he nodded, acknowledging Lance in a way no one could. Lance had missed Coran, a lot.

The moment crumbed when Coran suddenly tipped fully to the right. Lance lunged forward catching him just before his head touched the ground.

"Oh! I am a tad light headed, it's alright," Coran slurred slightly. He tried to wiggle out of Lance's grasp, but failed to sit himself upright.

"Nope, you're heading for a pod," Lance announced.

Coran shook his head and stubbornly tried to escape again. He attempted to lever himself up by pushing back against Lance, who was bent over and awkwardly holding him under both his armpits,

"Could someone give me a hand?!" Lance yelped, stumbling as he tried to stop and support Coran all at once. An arm loop behind him immediately. It was hard, and its smooth surface slid along the thin shirt Lance was wearing. The human warmth seeping through his shirt from the metal arm was a counterintuitive sensation that highlighted how infrequently Lance touched Shiro's arm. He hadn't even known it maintained the same temperature as Shiro's body while active. The few time's Lance had touched it on Yeppeuda it had been cold, almost unforgivingly so. It must have been very unpleasant, but Lance never heard Shiro complain. He had only ever expressed his worry over Lance, Keith and Allura risking their safety by maintaining visible jobs in an unknown world.

Lance used Shiro's support to stand upright and brought Coran with him. He swung one of Coran's arms over his shoulder and gestured for Shiro to do the same on Coran's other side. Hesitant surprise waylaid Shiro for a tick, it was written all over his face. He must have expected Lance to ignore him despite his help.

Keith was halfway across the room, on his way to lend a hand, but Lance pressed down on the bond asking him to stop. He ignored the irritated sparks tumbling off Keith and gestured again for Shiro to take up Coran's other side.

This time Shiro moved. Together they helped Coran, who was still weakly protesting, up the steps towards a healing pod that was rising from the floor. The pod slid open and Shiro took most of Coran's weight as they shifted him around into position and leaned him back into the pod. Coran's eyes were already closed by the time they let go of him and he had a small smile on his face as he settled into place. The pod doors slid shut capturing his peaceful expression in a haze of blue.

Pidge appeared next to Coran's pod and began adjusting the settings. There was nothing left to do. Lance couldn't remember the last time they had nothing to do, but he didn't remember it feeling this way. The void used to be filled by jokes and warm camaraderie, not this discomfited silence that none of them knew how to disengage from gracefully.

Keith came up next to Lance and slid an arm around his waist. "Ace, maybe we shou-"

The sound of the medical bay door sliding open derailed Keith, and the BANG less than a tick after made everyone jump and look.

"Did I miss anything?! Why is Coran in a pod!?" Hunk yelled from his… unusual position.

The door was jammed part way open and only Hunk's head, right arm and the knee of his right leg were through the opening. Lance tried to hold back his ensuing laughter, but Pidge burst out into hysterical giggles behind him and that opened the floodgate for everyone.

Lance laughed so hard his ribs ached. He took a long gasping breath in and tried to answer Hunk, "Hunk! Oh my god- Coran's fine but- how did you- why are you-" He could hardly get the words out because every time he looked at Hunk's unamused face he just started laughing again. Keith practically wheezed next to him with both his arms wrapped around his stomach.

Shiro moved forward first while making a valiant attempt to pull himself together and be the reasonable one in the room. "OK, OK, we got to- to help him," he admonished and would have sounded responsible if he hadn't snorted in the middle.

Hunk glared at Shrio as he waved his arms around trying to set the door sensors off, but the only reaction was the sound of a straining motor.

"Just yank the doors open with your robot arm strength!" Hunk begged, struggling and flailing his arms around.

Holding in more laughter with his lips pressed together Shiro grabbed one of the sliding doors and pulled. The silvery panel didn't even budge an inch. Hunk let out a small whine, "~noooo", he looked at Pidge and whined again, "~help…".

Pidge cleared their throat and attempted to swallow their chuckles. "Fine- Fi- Fine, I'm coming," they placated and quickly crossed the room. With deft hands they popped open the large panel next to the door and began to tinker.

The atmosphere that settled like a blanket over the room was one Lance had almost forgotten, but it was still soft from frequent use. He rubbed the edge of his own oversized sweater between his fingers and absently smiled when his thumb slipped through the hole worn in it. With his other hand Lance reached over without looking and grabbed Keith by the sleeve of his shirt, then he trotted over to Hunk with Keith in tow.

"How did this even happen?" Lance managed to ask without laughing again, but the deadpan look Hunk sent him was too powerful. He smothered his giggles behind his knit covered hand, but it didn't fool Hunk

"I was Worried-" Hunk made sure to emphasize and eyed Lance who was still giggling into his hand. "When I came back to myself after Yellow and me reconnected you were gone, Lance. Then I ran next door and saw Keith was also gone…and thought something might have happened" A light blush rose up Hunk's neck and he waved the arm that was through the door as much as he could in a 'you know' gesture. "I might have panicked for a second… and ran full speed all the way here… and didn't slow down to let the doors fully open, I thought I could slip through...but-"

"Instead you hit the doors so hard that you misaligned all the moving parts and now they're jammed like that," Pidge concluded for him.

"Yeah, that… apparently," Hunk sighed.

Pidged patted Hunks knee from where they were on the floor. "Don't worry, there's a manual failsafe in here," They reassured. Then they took a metal bar with a hook at the end out of the wall. The hook has a weird shaped hole in it and the other end was rounded. With a few ticks of fiddling they attached the hooked end to something in the wall and without any warning they yanked on it as hard as they could, throwing their entire body weight into it.

Hunk's yelp of surprise as he fell to the floor was almost completely drowned out by the horrible sound of metal grinding on metal that made everyone cringe. The doors only moved a few inches, but it was enough for Hunk to crawl through once he recovered from his sudden drop.

"Sorry we worried you, buddy." Lance leaned over and offered Hunk his free hand that wasn't holding Keith's sleeve, and he saw Keith from the corner of his eye do the same.

Hunk looked up at them a little dubiously after all the laughing, but he took their hands with both of his and got to his feet. "It was a little funny…" he admitted with a small smile.

"It was fucking hilarious," Shiro blurted. Then sucked in a sharp breath along with his lips and held it. He looked dumbfounded by his own audacity. Everyone looked at Shiro, but he kept perfectly still as if they might forget he said anything if he didn't move or breath.

The absurdity of Shiro's expression at his own out of character outburst broke Lance's already tenuous grip on his composure. He started laughing again, and like a light rain turning into a downpour everyone joined in.

Because despite their struggles, grudges, and trauma, it really was fucking hilarious.

oOoOo

Everyone was sleeping except Lance.

It was late. Usually this time of night was when choppy water would begin stirring in Lance and he would need to walk. He would pace around the ship and check anything and everything he could think to check until the waves settled low enough for him to sleep. Usually he didn't manage it on his own. At some point the crashing waves would wake Keith up and he would join Lance's restless stalking or drag him back to bed.

Not tonight.

Keith was out cold behind Lance, naked except for the sheet that rested low in his hips, and what kept Lance awake wasn't stormy waves, it was instead an unfamiliar feeling. He was sitting on the edge of his bunk with his feet in the sand. The sun was brighter than it had been in a long time and not a single cloud broke the endless blue sky that was reflected almost perfectly in the calm ocean below it. Lance pushed his toes deeper into the surprisingly cool sand and stared down the vast blue corridor. He had never been so comfortable here or seen his ocean so calm. He kept expecting the clear sky to darken with storm clouds, as the thunder heads rolled in and shook the air.

The storm never came. Lance kept waiting, but now he didn't know what he was waiting for. He ducked his head to block the sun from his eyes… which was something he never had to do before, not here where the sun was always overhead or behind the clouds. Now it was in front of Lance, slowly sinking to meet the horizon. He watched the sunset in disbelief and a feeling he couldn't name, but was so profuse it filled him up. When the sun kissed the ocean and the sky was Lance's favorite shade of orange, he cried. He wasn't angry, or hurt, or panicked, but the tears didn't stop and the unnamed feeling expanded further, pushing its way out of his body. It made a high keening sound when it escaped and he choked on it when he began to softly sob.

He thought he would miss the rain, but now that it was gone he noticed the dread left with it. He no longer felt the pressure in his chest that came from not knowing when the rain would start and he wasn't fatigued by the constant dark clouds that thinned but never left.

Lance knew that storms would still come, maybe more frequent than for a lot of other people, but not that one, not anymore.

There was an underlying sadness beneath the feeling, like he was yelling goodbye to someone while knowing they were too far away to hear him. It caught Lance's breath and he cried harder, because it also felt like knowing that person didn't need to hear him to know he would miss them.

He would always miss her.

The touch of Keith's sleep warmed forehead between Lance's bare shoulder blades preceded his concerned thoughts. "What's wrong?" The question brought a muzzy heat that cut through the overwhelming nature of Lance's emotions and left him calmer. As Keith's arms snaked around his waist and he nuzzled his face up to the back of Lance's neck the only answer Lance could think of was "nothing."

"Nothing?" Keith repeated out loud, sounding slightly more away but not less cuddly.

Tears still fell slowly. Lance felt like he was draining and he would stop when he was empty, but that he would be better when it was done. "Yeah, I think it's OK… I think I'm OK," he offered, unsure if he was reading his own emotions correctly.

Keith spread out in Lance's mind. He slid over the sand and into the ocean where he sometimes liked to lurk as if he were a sea serpent. "You really are OK," he muttered into Lance's skin.

"But I don't understand why I'm still crying, why I'm also so...sad." Lance whispered back, confused and a little frustrated.

Keith squeezed his arms a little tighter and set his chin on Lance's shoulder. "Loss is still loss, even if it's something you're better off without, Ace."

Keith spoke right next to his ear, but he could have been whispering in a room across the ship and Lance would still understand his meaning. He knew what that feeling was and he hadn't expected acceptance to feel so much like loss, but he had to stop apologizing to someone who couldn't hear him and wouldn't have asked to if he could.

There was a noticeable shift in the bond as the mood settled. Keith's hand slid up Lance's chest to cover his heart. "So… I hear you have my name tattooed right about here," he practically purred as he said it.

Lance could feel Keith's smug smile curling up on his skin and in his mind. "And what if you hear right and I do?" He asked, feigning innocence.

Keith rubbed his thumb where the tattoo began and heave a big sigh. Putting on a worried tone as he said, "I don't know, what if it's too soon?"

"Too soon?! We practically share brains!" Lance used his entire body weight and half stood as he twisted around out of Keith's arms and flopped down in the open space on the bunk. He rolled on his side facing away from Keith. "I'm not talking about this if you're going to make fun of me," he grumbled, but was having trouble not laughing.

"No! I think it's cute! I swear, Ace!" Keith hollered dramatically and threw himself against Lance's back. He wound his arms around Lance's chest and whispered in his ear, "I think it's more than cute".

The breath against Lance's ear rippled between them and the quivering echo of what Keith wanted next slid down his body like trembling fingers. Fangs skimmed down the side of Lance's neck and Keith roughly pressed his arousal against Lance's ass. A low growl slowly rose and Lance could feel it through his back while Keith's iron grip pulled him in tighter.

A bonfire of instincts and lust originating in Keith spread to Lance and lit him up. He had never been so hard in his life. He could feel Keith holding back, he clung to the strong rope of something beyond love that stretched between them and Lance wanted to tell Keith how much it meant to him, how much he loved him. He tried to impress the sentiment of it all into Keith's mind, because all that came out of his mouth was a broken needy whine. "Please," he begged.

Keith let go of the rope, and a snarl cut through the low growling as he pushed Lance onto his stomach and pressed him into the mattress. The pressure of his erection trapped against the bed and the hard grind of Keith's hips all blended together and built up. Lance tried to push back against Keith's hard cock as it slid between his cheeks, only separated by Lance's pajama pants, but he could hardly lift his hips.

The pleasure was almost blindingly bright but Lance wanted more. He used both arms and pushed up, lifting Keith as he rose to his elbows. The fangs on his neck tightened, sinking the tips into his skin, and their combined reaction almost sent Lance sprawling flat to the bed in pleasure. He reached under his pillow and pulled out their bottle of lube. Keith grabbed it on site and was once again grappling for control. He released Lance's neck and pulled his hips back far enough to slide Lance's pajamas down to his knees to push a slicked finger slowly into him. Lance wasn't sure if he would ever get used to feeling Keith's arousal during sex and its only seems to have gotten stronger with all these new instincts. Lance also felt different, more durable and in tune with their energies, it felt like everything was vibrating a little.

A second finger hastily joined the first, but Lance only felt a thrum of pleasure and pushed back against Keith's hand until he felt a third finger snaking in. When all three were easily sliding in and out Lance pulled away so they slid out completely and looked over his shoulder, "You. Now," he demanded in a way he never had before in bed, but Keith didn't seem to mind. He was flat against Lance in a heartbeat, nipping his shoulder with sharp fangs and lining himself up. The first thrust was shallow, the head of Keith's cock didn't penetrate completely before sliding out, leaving them both wanting. The next thrust was only a little harder, but Lance pushed back and took all of Keith at once. The blow back from Keith's

ecstasy was unexpectedly strong. Lance's arms gave out and his shoulders fell flat to the bed with his ass raised. Keith was perfectly still, trembling with want, but he held himself in an iron grip. Lance touched his mind, brushing away his concerns while grinding back into him.

Keith spread his knees wider than Lance's which were semi trapped in his pajamas, leaned full over his up lifted ass and fucked him with hard, fast thrusts. The sensations running through lance and down the bond were so strong he had to squeeze his eyes shut, but he still yelled for more. "Harder!"

The next thrust was so hard Lance slid forward on the bed a little. Keith's pace slowed down but each thrust pushed Lance flatter to the bed and was punctuated with a loud growl. When Lance was flat to the bed Keith kicked his pajamas the rest of the way off for him and used his knees to spread Lance's legs as wide as he could on the narrow bunk. Then he proceeded to fuck Lance into the bed harder and faster in a frenzy.

"Oh God! Yes, like that, baby!" Lance gasped.

Everything blurred together into a hot, frantic, euphoria that built and built. He felt Keith grip his forearms and bite his shoulder as he went even harder, hitting Lance's prostate every time and pushing his straining erection into the bed and pulling more moaning praise from his mouth.

When one of them began to reach their peak so did the other, at this point Lance didn't know whose pleasure was whose.

Keith's pace turned erratic, and Lance's moans boarded on screams. Then Keith's hips stuttered and he slammed into Lance and came. He held himself there, flat against Lance's back, grinding up and down through his orgaism while fully seated in him, panting in Lance's ear.

With Keith's final thrust Lance's oragsim rocked through him like cannon fire. He screamed, gripped the bed sheets and rode out the scorching pleasure that ricocheted between him and his lover. Lance came down in an ebb and flow of pleasure as Keith grinded in him, and noticed a strange tingling sensation on his face.

"Ace, open your eyes," Keith whispered into his ear and placed a kiss on the shell of it. His grinding had slowed to a gentile rocking and then stopped. "You're glowing," he added when Lance's eyes remained shut.

A tingling sensation settled across Lance's cheeks and over the bridge of his nose. He slowly opened his eyes as Keith nuzzled behind his ear, and even though he couldn't see his markings, the soft orange glow they casted on the sheets looked like the sunset over his mind's ocean.

Keith was slowly slipping out of Lance as he began to soften, but neither of them moved. With a slight shift Keith's face came into view while most of his body was still stretched out over Lance's back. His smile was as warm as the feelings flowing down the bond, and they only seemed to flare brighter as his eyes trailed over Lance's markings. His glowing eyes, Lance noted.

"Rojo, your eyes…" Lance whispered.

Keith blinked a few times, "are they glowing too? They feel a bit strange."

Lance would have reached out to touch Keith's face if his arm wasn't trapped under the clingy Galra. "Yeah, they're like a Yellowish orange color."

Keith snuggled impossibly closer as he muttered, "good, then we match."

The tingling began to fade, and the glow that was cast on Keith's face and the sheets began to dim. Lance couldn't find it in himself to worry about what the glowing could mean while Keith was so relaxed. "We aren't going to have slow sex ever again, are we?" He asked instead, keeping the mood light.

Keith pressed his face back into Lance's neck and mumbled, "Not while you're so damn attractive."

The truth of the statement rang through Lance and he couldn't help the bubbly joy that rose up in him. All this time later and Keith's compliments still had that effect on him, even though he still insisted on smothering Lance with them. "Aww, babe! That's so sweet!" He cooed back, but then shrieked as Keith began tickling him in retaliation.

Lance struggled, but Keith had the advantage being on top. "AHHH! Keith! Stopstopstop!" He screamed and laughed so loud he was sure the entire castle ship could hear him.

oOoOo

The telephone line was buzzing with chatter today. Lance lounged back on Blue's paw. All the lions were in the hanger chattering away. Blue and Red came through clear as they responded to the muffled mumblings of the other three lions. From what Lance could discern from the impressions he was pretty sure they were arguing over who their second choice of pilot would be. Blue of course chose Keith and Red chose Lance, Yellow and Green were bickering and Black seemed to be sulking over not getting his second choice, whoever that would have been.

Lance let their muffled conversion, made of sounds and images, spread over his consciousness like a light, comforting blanket. He felt buoyant, floating on the surface of his mind with nothing dragging him down. He still had weight to carry, but it wasn't constantly threatening to drown him. Lance took a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh of contentment. Sometimes he still woke up in the middle of the night, lungs burning like they were filled with water, that wasn't likely to change anytime soon, but he could handle it.

The distant heat was growing closer and Lance felt Keith before he heard the hanger door slide open. He didn't bother sitting up or opening his eyes. Keith stopped at the base of Blues paw and spoke down the bond, knowing it would reach Lance easier than yelling.

"Ace, come on, get up."

There was a sharp spark in the words that put Lance on edge. He opened his eyes, sat up and leaned over to look down at Keith. He was dressed casually in black pants, a white t-shirt, and his blue knit headband. He also didn't look visibly upset, but there was something in his stance that looked tense. Then he smiled and Lance relaxed a bit.

"It's time!" Keith yelled up when he caught sight of Lance.

Time?... Lance wondered. Then a bright zing ran down the bond that filled him with excitement. OH! It was time!

The white noise of the Lion conversation came to an abrupt stop and was quickly replaced with a simultaneous explosion of excitement that propelled Lance forward. He leapt from Blue's paw in a reckless fashion that he knew scared Keith every time. Lance tucked into a roll as he landed and popped up next to Keith. He ignored the irritated swat from Keith to his arm and started running for the door instead.

"Are you coming?" Lance hollered back at Keith, who was still standing by Blue with his arms crossed in a huff, but it didn't take long for him to smile and run across the room. The infectious elation was impossible to ignore.

They ran the familiar path to the medical bay together, dodging random Blade of Marmora members that were wandering the halls. Most of the Blades they passed smiled or waved, but a few glared at them, mostly the sleep deprived engineers helping Pidge and Hunk build ships that could go into dead space. Soon they would send a team to oversee the trans-reality comet's stability and build a base on Yeppuda far out of the reach of the Galra empire.

Lance skidded around the corner into the final stretch of hallway, Keith right behind him. The sliding doors opened for them with a notable shudder. They were the last to arrive, everyone else was scattered around the room, and Allura was as still as always in her glowing pod.

"How long?" Lance asked as soon as he entered.

Pidge looked up from the Pod's control panel, "Ten doboshes max," they announced. Hunk bounced up and down next to them.

It had only been a week since the team escaped dead space, but so much had already changed. Lance and Keith were swapping Lions during drills, and although Shiro's bond with Black was strong they discovered that he would allow Lance to pilot him. They invited The Blade to send members to them after informing them about the comet, and only a day later an entire team, composed of warriors and scientists, showed up on their metaphorical doorstep. Lance was pretty sure Hunk and Pidge stopped sleeping once work started on the "Dead Ships" as they were being called, but you couldn't tell they were exhausted right now. Both of them were vibrating along with the rest of the team as they waited.

Coran sat on the steps leading to Allura's pod and smiled at Lance when he entered, he had been released from his pod four days ago in "tip top shape" according to him. Shiro stood closest to Allura with his arms crossed, shifting back and forth slightly. Lance plopped down on the steps next to Coran. Keith stood behind him near Shiro.

"Takashi," Lance heard Keith say as a quiet greeting.

There was still some tension, but in the last few days things had begun to smooth over. The Day after Coran emerged from his pod, Keith and Shiro trained together for the first time since their fight. No one dared to go into the training hall while they were at it, even Lance who already had a good idea of what was happening without needing to enter the room. What went down between them was less like training and more like a screaming punch fest that almost had Lance running in against Keith's wishes before it wound down into a conversation many years in the making.

The conversation floated into Lance from Keith as he sat in the hall outside the training room. Not everything they said was good, or helpful, and Lance still wanted to punch Shrio in the head sometimes, but one thing stopped him.

When Keith began to let doubt over his self worth creep up and referred to himself as "like a brother" to Shiro, the response was immediate and sure. "You're not like a brother to me, Keith. You are my brother."

The radiant Joy that filled Keith was a healing emotion that not even Lance could have offered. So when the doors finally opened and both idiots stumbled out battered and bruised, Lance patched both of them up instead of just Keith. Later Shiro sought Lance out alone and thanked him, then he left before Lance could respond. Context was never given to the gratitude, but he suspected Shiro knew that Lance was a large part of why Keith was willing to try and talk. The Keith before Lance would have never spoken to Shiro again even if it hurt them both.

Lance didn't take all the credit, he was sure some of Keith's changes were because of their universe jumping experience. Neither of them ever fully explained what they had seen to their team, and they probably never would, but they both felt… bigger than before.

Light conversation filled the room. Lance leaned back on the steps and closed his eyes as it passed him by, tumbling from one topic to another.

"I can make a guess at why they were last to arrive."

"We're not fucking every second we're out of your sight, Pidge."

"I don't think we should be talking ab-"

"The amount of times and places I have stumbled across you two revving up would indicate otherwise."

"We were in OUR ROOM last time that happened!"

"Lock the door then! Lance can do that!"

"OK guys, I'm really not comfortable with this-"

"Shut up, Shiro!"

"Don't tell Shiro to shut up just because he's sexually repressed!"

"I'm not- I don't- First off, Pidge, learn about personal space, and secondly I was just concerned that some of us, like Lance, might not be comfortable with the topic!"

Lance cracked an eye open and looked at Shiro upside down, "Nah, I'm used to it now," he interjected and then closed his eyes again. A short and slightly awkward silence followed and then drifted into a different conversation topic started by Pidge.

"Have you updated the spreadsheet, Hunk?"

"Oh man, not yet. We are so behind."

"Spreadsheet, what are you up to?"

"Yeah, to keep score. Pidge started it a while ago."

"Lance has the high score for sure."

The mention of his own name caught Lance's attention. He sat up and opened his eyes. "I have the what?"

Pidge glanced down at him. "The high score for saves," they elaborated, but Lance still wasn't following. His confused blink must have conveyed this to Pidge because they sighed and elaborated further. "For how many times we've saved each other. Me and Hunk keep track."

"Yeah before dead space Keith or Shiro was at the top, but now I'm sure it's you," Hunk added, proudly beaming at Lance.

No response came to Lance. He could almost hear the vacant wind howling through his empty head. Keith was glowing in the distance, just as proud as Hunk looked. Even Shiro was nodding thoughtfully.

"I don't…" Lance began to say… something. He wasn't sure what was going to come out of his mouth, but Hunk interrupted him with a smooth but pointed transition..

"So, first he took lead while saving me in dead space," he began to tick off on his fingers as he listed Lance's recent "points". "Then he saved Pidge when we crashed on the planet, with Keith's help. Then he saved Keith from Vii, and took lead again when we saved Allura." Hunk finished and recounted his fingers to make sure he didn't miss one.

Pidge had pulled out a tablet at some point and was typing quickly. "Yup, that pulls Lance into the lead," they concluded with a decisive swipe of their finger.

Lance floundered. The conversation was making him profoundly uncomfortable and he wasn't exactly sure why. Usually he loved praise. "I didn't- He tried to deny, but Keith's searing touch on his shoulder short circuited his brain.

"Yeah, you did, Ace." Keith reinforced all the claims and the glowing pride burned brighter. It wasn't fair when they all ganged up on him like this. Even less fair when they get Keith to take their side...

He wouldn't cry. He would NOT cry, Lance firmly decided while every bit of his body tingled with fuzzy emotions that desperately wanted to pour out of his eyes. "I… I think…" He began, but paused to clear his tight throat. "I think it's only fair…" He looked down at his fidgeting hands to hide his watery eyes. "Because you all saved me first-" Lance blurted out quickly before his voice became strangled with emotion.

Another hand mirrored Keith's on Lance's other shoulder. Just as Shiro's warm human skin registered, a tiny Pidge shaped missile collided with Lance's abdomen knocking the breath out of him. There was barely a moment to collect a gasping breath before Hunk came around from behind and made a valiant effort to squeeze all of them into a hug with sweeping arms.

"Hunk!" Keith yelped as everyone was smooshed together into some sort of flailing, chaotic imitation of a hug. Pidge squealed as they were crushed between Lance and Hunk. They thrashed in an attempt to free themself and a misplaced elbow found its way to Hunk's ribs.

Trapped in the impressive span of Hunk's arms, Lance and the others were yanked off balance as their captor jerked away from Pidge's elbow. Everyone yelped and screamed as Hunk tipped from the weight in his arms and the entire gang collapsed onto him in a pile as he landed on his back.

After a long wheeze and a big puff, Hunk was the first one to start laughing. Lance heard Pidge, Keith and Shiro join in as he stared up from his position on Hunk's chest. Coran, who had wisely waited off to the side, entered his line of sight and looked down with a smile at his family strewn across the floor. The fond and exasperated expression was somehow funnier than their crash landed, and Lance joined in with the almost dissonant chorus of laughter.

There would still be bad days. Emotions and experiences like Lance's would never completely fade, but that doesn't mean it can't get better. Especially with help… Help he had to be willing to accept. Hunk had tried for so long, but Lance hadn't been ready, he hadn't been open to the idea of letting anyone else in. Lance felt a little foolish for not realizing earlier. The problem wasn't the people trying to help him not putting in enough effort, it was him who wasn't trying at the time.

Lance had to reach for the people extending a helping hand, or like with Hunk, their arm would get tired and sore until they couldn't hold it up any longer. Now he had many hands to grasp if he ever slipped, and the strength to grab on and pull himself up… likely into a hug.

Over the sound of tapering laughter and the scuffle of the team untangling themselves, a loud click rang out. A long hiss filled the room with the smell of cold, ionized air. Lance yanked his leg from under Shiro and twisted around just in time to see Coran smiling as he caught Allura. Shiro managed to rip himself free of the jumble of teens and rushed over. Coran carefully handed the slowly waking Allura into Shiro's arms. She slowly blinked up at him, and smiled in a muzzy way that made her look younger. Then she glanced down at the heap of people on the floor and giggled a little drunkenly.

"Oh my, don't you all look comfortable down there," she commented with faux sincerity and giggled again.

Lance looked up at her, whole and alive, and chuckled. Then he was laughing again. He laughed so hard he cried, until he was only crying, soft and silent. Keith found his hand in the tangle of limbs and shared his joy and relief.

They were OK. More than OK, they were together.

AN- That's it! Its over!

Thanks for sticking with this story! Especially those lovely people that started reading this before the hiatus!

I am never posting a story that's not done ever again...

Feel free to look at my trash on the internet. I'm deetsvibre on most social media.