Summary:

Kitten and Laxus have a...rather frank conversation about Laxus' guildmates!

REALIZATIONS ARE MADE regarding...things.

*Laxus*

Well. Where to begin.

"What…exactly would you like to know? Guild history, the current members, or what?" I asked, hesitantly. I wasn't sure what level of detail she wanted, and I certainly didn't want to scare her. Maker knows our guild was…batshit insane on the best of days. And we only got 'the best of days' like once a year. So.

"Let's start with people? Tell me about your teammates."

Ok. This'll be easy.

"They're like my family. Well, all the guild is my family, honestly, but the Thunder Legion is tight."

"The Thunder Legion?"

"That's our team name."

"But…you use lightning magic."

I could tell she was genuinely confused, and not trying to be a sass-master, but I couldn't help but chuckle. "Usually one accompanies the other."

"I see." Even though she was turned away from me, I could see the small smile on her lips. "You said you had three teammates – what were their names? Evergreen, Freed and…Bickslow?"

I had to admit it, I was impressed. I'd said their names as a comment in passing, and hadn't expected her to remember them. "Yes."

"Tell me about them."

"Freed is my best friend. He's…very refined."

"Why do you say it like that?"

"I wouldn't necessarily call Fairy Tail a refined guild."

"What else? About Freed?"

"Hmm. He's shorter than I am – the only one taller than me is Bix – and he has long green hair."

"What kind of magic does he use?"

"He uses rune magic; he's able to write spells on things, to enchant them to do things, or not do things."

"Give me an example."

"Well, for example, he can enchant a doorway to keep people inside or outside of a room; or to allow certain people to pass without issue."

I could feel her thoughtfulness through the mark. "Does that type of magic have limits?"

"How do you mean?"

"Are there certain things he can't do with it?"

I honestly hadn't thought about it that way. "I never thought about it like that – I honestly don't know."

"Why's he your best friend?"

"He's…very calm. And a good listener. And level headed."

"How about Evergreen?"

"Ever is…complicated. She can come off as standoffish, but she really isn't, once you get to know her. She has fairy magic, which is like…magic dust, that she can control how she wants."

"What's she do with it?"

"Most of the time she uses it offensively; she makes bombs with it, or uses it like a rapid fire machine gun." I stopped. "She can also turn people into stone with her eyes."

Kitten looked over her shoulder at me with a look I can only describe as "What The Actual Fuck".

"She wears glasses, to keep it from happening by accident."

"Oh, that's nice," Kitten said, lightly, like she was responding to someone telling her they'd knitted her a nice tea cozy.

"Then there's Bix. He's just crazy. But the best kind of crazy. He can see souls."

"He can WHAT?"

"See souls. He can see what your soul looks like, just by looking at you."

"What's your soul look like?" Kitten asked, sounding playful.

"Ya'know, I never asked him. He's never told me."

"Don't you want to know?"

I paused. "No, not really."

I guess my tone gave Kitten pause, because she looked over her shoulder at me. "I…made some bad decisions, once upon a time."

"Ah."

"Bix can also take over people's souls, when he looks at them." I could practically hear her eyebrows shoot up. "He wears a visor over his eyes, so that doesn't happen."

"Uh-huh." She paused. "So are you and Freed the only two of your team who can't do funky shit with your eyes?" That made me laugh out loud.

"No, I'm the only one. Freed's right eye is what gives him the power to do rune magic, but it also grants him the ability to shape shift into a demon."

"A what now?" Kitten asked, sitting bolt upright and turning to face me. She'd placed one of her hands on my leg.

"Easy, Kitten, I've only seen Freed use it once, and as far as I know, in the time I've known him, he's only used it one other time."

I held my right arm up and out, and motioned for her to come snuggle up next to me. I was amazed when she actually did it. She tucked herself right up under my arm, laying her head on my chest.

"What about that other Dragon Slayer you were talking about, the one you said was a punk?"

"Natsu. He is an annoying little shit and one of my biggest headaches at the guild."

"How come?"

"Because he doesn't know how to fucking control himself." I said, dragging my left hand down my face, heaving an irritated sigh.

"What kind of Dragon Slayer is he?"

"A goddamn fire Dragon Slayer. I cannot tell you the number of times he's lit the goddamn guild on fire by accident because he was being irresponsible."

"I sense there is no love lost between the two of you," she said, and I could see her pinching her lips shut to keep from chuckling.

"Oh, Natsu doesn't have a clue. He's friends with everyone. He is the densest person I've ever met, hands down. It's downright exasperating. He has the memory of a blade of grass. Honestly, grass might have a better memory than he does."

I heard Kitten chuckle. "He sounds like a gem."

"Stay away from him, is my only advice. He's a walking catastrophe, and his team isn't much better. Except for Lucy. Lucy's cool."

"Tell me about her."

Oh boy. This could be…catastrophic.

"Lucy's a Celestial Mage; she uses holder type magic, meaning she uses objects to achieve her goals. She's the holder of a million gate keys – keys that open gates to another realm, to call out spirits. She has most of the golden zodiac keys, I think she's only missing 2, maybe 3, and she has a couple silver keys for lesser constellations. She's obsessed with the stars, which I guess is a good thing considering she's a Celestial wizard. She also uses a whip, and I speak from personal experience when I tell you you do not want her to use it on you."

Kitten was smiling when she spoke next. "You must really admire her."

"I do. Lucy's amazing. I think she's the most powerful wizard at Fairy Tail, in terms of sheer magical power, not necessarily magical damage power."

"How so?"

"She's able to do things other Celestial mages haven't ever been able to do – like hold open three golden gates at a time; shit like that. She uses her own magic to open the gates, but her spirits feed off of her magic when they're out, too, but she's able to handle it."

"Don't stop there! Tell me more about her!" Kitten pleaded, giving me big doe eyes, which made me smile.

"Hmm. She's the nicest person on the fucking planet, unless you piss her off. Which I've done, hence the whip comment. She's also a goddamn certified genius. Seriously, she's brilliant."

"Then why is her team such a catastrophe? If she's a genius baby, why does Natsu keep blowing shit up?"

"That's the million-dollar question. They don't listen to her. It drives me insane."

"Why does it drive you insane?"

"Because I got dumped with the paperwork when Gramps decided I needed to learn how to run a guild."

"Gramps?"

"Oh. I guess I shoulda led with that. My Grandfather is the guildmaster of Fairy Tail."

"Huh." Kitten seemed thoughtful. "So, Natsu's team involves a lot of paperwork?"

My irritated growl must have been enough for her to get the point, because she giggled.

"Yes. So much. That idiot and his teammates Gray, and Erza are really good at doing damage, but not necessarily great at containing said damage. They truly are our strongest team, but they are so fucking expensive. I feel like Natsu destroys everything he touches."

"What about Lucy?"

"Lucy's magic isn't quite like that. Her spirts can do a lot of damage, it's true, but even then, they're much more precise. Even that goddamn fucking bull she has; that perverted fucker, uggg."

"Her what?" Kitten was looking at me like I'd grown a second head.

"One of her golden zodiac keys, is the constellation Taurus, he manifests as a talking bull. I kid you not. And that fucker, hoo boy, he's a fucking pervert. He always – and I mean always – comments on her appearance. It makes my blood boil."

Kitten's head had cocked to the side, and she was looking at me curiously. "Why?"

Oh, shit. DON'TSAYITDON'TSAYITDON'TSAYIT.

"He's…disrespectful."

Kitten reached up and grazed my cheek with a finger. "Laxus, you're blushing. There's something you're leaving out," She was smirking, but it seemed like a playful smirk.

DON'TSAYITLAXUSDON'TSAYITDON'TSAYIT.

"Do you have feelings for Lucy?" she was smiling. Why the hell was she smiling?

"Uh, no! No!" I couldn't help it, my voice squeaked.

"Is Lucy pretty?" Kitten asked, and I could tell through the bond it was just a simple question. I could also tell through the bond she was getting a kick out of this conversation, damn her. She was fucking DELIGHTED. I DO NOT understand.

"I guess…I guess you could say she's, um, attractive."

"What's she look like?"

DO NOT SAY WHAT YOU ARE THINKING UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES LAXUS DO NOT.

"Uh, she's got long blonde hair, brown eyes, and a, uh, body."

That made Kitten crack the fuck up. Like tears streaming down her cheeks, holding her sides cracking up.

"Laxus, is her body nice to look at?" she asked when she'd finally stopped laughing. It'd been several minutes.

"Maybe,"

"Laxus! Why is this making you so uncomfortable? I don't understand! Is Lucy good looking or not?"

"Yes, she's good looking!"

"WAS THAT SO HARD?" She asked, teetering on the edge of hysterics again.

"THIS IS VERY AWKWARD, KITTEN."

That stopped the impending giggle hysterics in their tracks, and Kitten looked at me quizzically. "Why?"

"Why is it awkward?"

"Yes."

I…didn't have a good answer for that, other than past experience had taught me that the admittance of finding another woman attractive to the woman you're currently with was BAD FUCKING NEWS.

"In my experience the admiration of another woman while in the company of your…spouse engenders much jealousy."

Kitten was still looking at me quizzically, and I could tell she genuinely didn't understand the concept of jealousy. I was positive she understood the definition, but in terms of what we were discussing, she genuinely didn't think it applied.

"This idea is foreign to me. It seems silly, though, because objectively, there are many attractive people in the world, are there not?"

"There are indeed." WHAT THE FUCK EVEN WAS THIS CONVERSATION.

"I don't understand why someone would try to punish you for finding other people attractive. That seems…counterproductive. Now, acting on it, that's…more nuanced, I suppose."

I snorted. 'Nuanced'. Nuanced indeed. "So, me finding Lucy attractive doesn't bother you."

"No."

"Kitten, I can't guarantee I will feel the same way. Dragons are very…territorial."

"Understood. No discussing other attractive men with you."

I nodded, in thanks.

"What about other attractive women?" She was absolutely fucking serious.

"Um. I…don't know. That has never…come up before, for me."

"Your other partners, who I'm presuming were mostly female?" She waited for a confirming nod, or a dismissive shake of my head. I nodded. "Were not interested in other women?"

"As objects of jealousy, yes. As objects of desire, no." I paused. "Kitten, are you also interested in women?" Yes, I was waiting with baited breath. This was ENTIRELY new territory for me.

She cocked her head to the side, looking at me. "Honestly, all of this is hypothetical, because I've never been allowed to pick for myself. I was…forced, to lie with women, and I found that more pleasurable than being with a man; however, circumstance being what they were, the word pleasure has an entirely different meaning. But, since my escape, I have encountered women I found attractive. For what that's worth."

That was worth A LOT. That meant I wasn't alone.