AN1: If you have time, can you go check out TwiFanfictionrecs poll for the Top 10 fics completed in December and vote for my story Delinquent? It was kind of a huge accomplishment to me to finally wrap it up, and non-canon stories never win on those sites. There's a link on my twitter account
AN2: This chapter has some rough spots. Bella thinks about the past, and tells Garrett some of it. Nothing graphic, but definite hints at the rape. This should be the worst of it until it's addressed again later in the story.
"So you're telling me that this boy can tell what I'm feeling," Garrett asked, jiggling Jasper in his arms and drawing another giggle from the happy boy, "and that boy can hear what I'm thinking?"
Bella nodded and bit her lip, cuddling Edward closer. She wasn't sure if Garrett was really upset, and a part of her was worried that this could be the thing that would make him take off and leave them.
As if he was the one with the talent for empathy, Garrett sighed and stepped closer again. Reaching out with his free arm, he quietly offered, "Can I hug you?"
She had no idea just how starved for affection she truly was until he wrapped his long arm around her and Edward, bringing Jasper up close as well. He was hugging all three of them and Jasper sighed in contentment as they all held each other close.
Growing up, Bella's family was very affectionate. She was surrounded by huge teddy bear males that always had a hug ready for their favorite girl. Even when she and Emmett left home, he still hugged her just as tightly, and probably even more often to make up for the others not being there.
For the past few months, she'd tried to make do with hugging and kissing her sweet baby boys, but at the back of her mind, she really missed being the one held. Now wrapped in Garrett's supernaturally strong, yet equally gentle embrace, she could feel the walls she'd subconsciously erected begin to crumble.
It started with a small gasp. Then she exhaled with a choked sob. Garrett rubbed his hand across her back and hummed softly. "It's alright, my love, I'm here. You can let go now. I'm here."
Still mindful of how tightly she was holding Edward, Bella did as Garrett said and let go. Months of fear, uncertainty, grief, loneliness, and confusion all poured out of her along with tears that would never fall. She clutched at Garrett's shirt with the hand not holding her baby, and she let herself be held by this kind stranger to whom she felt so drawn.
Jasper felt a bit of what his mother was feeling, but she had gotten better at keeping her stronger emotions locked behind her shield. He rested his little hand on her head, stroking her hair as she cried, and looked between Edward and Garrett for reassurance that she would be okay.
Edward kept his head on her shoulder, with his little arm wrapped tight around her neck. He tried sending her pictures of Uncle Emmett, and a few other pictures of their family—either from the drawing she had done or her own memories he'd gleaned during her pregnancy. While she appreciated his attempt at comfort, they just made her cry that much harder for all that she had lost.
When she finally began to gain control of herself, she noticed that both babies were almost asleep. She pulled back and smiled shyly up at Garrett, running her hand over Jasper's curls. Cocking her head toward the pallet, she stepped away and carried Edward over to lay down. He roused a bit and frowned when she pulled away, but when Garrett leaned over to put Jasper down next to him, he turned and hugged his brother and settled back down.
The adults stood there for a moment watching them, until Bella reached for Garrett's hand to lead him out to the porch. Garrett sat carefully on the weathered boards, but when Bella started to sit beside him, he caught her waist and pulled her down onto his lap.
Bella giggled nervously at the new position, but relaxed when Garrett wrapped his arms around her and set his chin on her shoulder. He didn't say anything for several long minutes as he tried to process all his different trains of thought. When he gathered himself enough to speak, he lifted his head and turned to face his strong little mate.
"Bella, you are an amazing woman*. When I think about all you must have done since you woke to this life, and even before that, I don't know of any other immortal who could have done it."
Bella ducked her head in embarrassment at his words, but Garrett nudged her chin up and shook his head. "No, you don't understand. Most of us wake thinking of nothing but the thirst. We rip and kill and destroy because we have absolutely no self-control. Even vampires as old as you are still need a sire to guide them and keep them from exposing themselves to humans. The fact that you have not only provided for yourself and your boys, but kept all three of you from being discovered by anyone is a truly awe-inspiring feat.
"Bella, there is a lot that I need to tell you about this life. There are certain rules that every vampire needs to follow in order to avoid being destroyed. As I said, you have done remarkably well so far, but I think as the boys get bigger it may become more difficult to keep them hidden.
"I would like to help you with that, and help you learn all you need to know about being a vampire. Would you let me do that, love?"
Bella felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Ever since Emmett walked out the door, she'd been hanging on by a thread. She knew in her heart that she would have kept going as long as she needed to in order to raise her boys, but the offer of help—from the most attractive man she'd ever met—was much too good to pass up.
Reaching for his hand, Bella traced his long, slender fingers and looked up into his deep red eyes. "Will you tell me why it feels like this every time I touch you?" she asked shyly, then bit her lip as she waited for his answer.
Garrett smiled and rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand. "You mean, why it feels like my heart has started beating again? Why heat rushes through me, making me feel more alive than I have in over a century?"
Bella gasped and nodded eagerly. She was surprised when Garrett stood up, then turned to set her down on the porch again. He kept ahold of her hand though as he knelt in front of her.
"My Bella, the simple answer is that you are the other half of my soul. Vampires have one true match in this life, and if they get lucky enough to find this person, they will be happy with them for the rest of their days.
"You are that person for me, my love. You are my mate, and I will spend the rest of my eternity making sure you and those boys are as happy as you can possibly be."
He was perfect. He was absolutely perfect and according to him, he was completely hers. She frowned for a minute, wishing she was still an innocent girl...but then she wouldn't have her boys. However, she did wish that Garrett could have been their father.
Thinking about that, she became even more nervous. She didn't really know much about what happened between a man and a woman. Emmett had tried to tell her that what James had done was nothing like what she would do with her then-vague, theoretical, probably non-existent future husband.
Now faced with that person, she realized that as much as she liked him, she still didn't want to let him anywhere under her clothes. Didn't the term "mate" indicate a desire to...mate with her?
The more she thought about it, the more her mind went back to that night. She'd tried her best to block it from her mind, even while she was still human. It had made appearances in her dreams, but since she no longer had dreams, she hadn't really allowed it to cross her new, expanded mind.
Her breathing sped as she suddenly found herself back in that barn. Her frail human body was held in ice-cold hands, while her friends and family danced just a short distance away.
The monster on top of her had long, stringy blond hair the exact color of Jasper's curls, and his sharp, aquiline nose was a larger version of the one that graced Edward's beautiful little face. She hated that she remembered those details and she hated that she associated them with her babies.
Emmett had been the one to find her. James was just finishing and was probably about to bite her when Emmett slammed open the door to the horse stalls where they were hidden. James had cursed and then jumped out over the top of the stall door. Emmett had seen a glimpse of his face before he disappeared, but he was distracted by the sound of Bella crying in the stall.
"Bella! What happened? Come here, sweet girl. I have you. No one can hurt you now. I have you."
Emmett's words from her memory blended into similar words in a deeper voice. Garrett's arms were around her and she was cuddled on his lap again, though she had no recollection of how she got there. She was still gasping for the air she'd been deprived of in her memory, but she tried to stop when she realized where—and when—she was now.
Garrett soothed her with his words and actions, but as she came back to herself she thought again of what had set her off. She knew she had to tell him. He deserved to know. Maybe he could find himself another mate that wasn't so broken—one with less baggage.
As soon as she thought of Garrett with another woman, his long arms wrapped around her, his beautiful eyes gazing down at her, a loud, deep growl startled her. It took a moment to realize she was the one who had growled.
She glanced up at Garrett who looked just as startled as she felt. "Sweetheart? Are you alright? What were you thinking about?"
Not wanting to admit her jealousy, she spoke a partial truth. "I was thinking about that night. When the boys were made…"
Garrett let out a rather fierce growl himself. It actually made Bella feel better that he must be dealing with the same jealousy she had felt. Shaking his head, he quietly asked, "Will you tell me what happened?"
At her shocked look, he continued quickly, "I don't mean the details—I'm just curious as to how you came to encounter one of our kind and lived to tell about it."
She nodded in understanding and began her story. "There was a barn dance in town. I believe it was a sweetheart dance for Saint Valentine? It was in February.
"For the first time, I was allowed to accompany my brothers, and Daddy made Emmett swear he wouldn't leave me alone. I remember drinking hot cider and watching the couples all dancing. My oldest brother, Earl, took me out for a dance and it was so much fun!
"When we came back off the dance floor, Earl's wife pulled him away before I could find Emmett again. He was probably off dancing—the girls in town all loved my brothers.
"I was standing against the wall, near a door that separated the horse stalls from the rest of the barn. I don't really know what exactly happened, but one minute I was in the barn, and the next I was in a horse stall.
"I recognized the man who had me—he'd introduced himself to me and Emmett earlier as James Hunter. He had ice cold hands, and I couldn't move away from him. I really did try—I promise I did. I just–"
Garrett shushed her crying and rocked her a bit on his lap. Once she had settled a bit, she finished her story.
"Emmett came looking for me and I guess it scared James off—though I don't really know why. Emmett took me home, and when I got sick a couple of weeks later he told my parents what had happened, and that I was pregnant.
"They kicked me out. Emmett left with me and we went to the hunting cabin our family had a little higher up the mountain. He took care of me and drained the blood from his kills for me to drink, once we figured out that's what the babies needed.
"He left the morning the boys were born because I was almost out of blood again. I never saw him again, but I found his rifle covered in blood after I woke and took the boys hunting. He's dead and it's all my fault."
*Garrett's line is from the second Breaking Dawn movie- you have to read it in his sexy voice ;)