Chapter Nine: Not So Sweet Celebration
Chris: [narrating] Last time on Total Drama Revenge of the Underdogs, preparations for our 100th episode were put on hold due to some...surprise guest appearances from the likes of Holly Blue Agate and Emerald, along with the even more surprising addition of Weasel McGreed as they all conspired in the kidnapping of the host kind. But I stayed strong. [a clip of him screaming in terror is played, annoying him] Hey, who put that there?! Ahem...meanwhile, we saw Prince John and Incineroar continuing to grow closer to one another in the most unexpected of ways possible, tripping up on the steps for a lil kissy-face action. [chuckles] Classy. On the other side of things, Izzy somehow managed to get even crazier with her tall-tales about mole men, which didn't really fly by with the others at first...that is until the rumors came to life. [more clips of Chris panicking are shown] Ok, someone is SO getting fired! Anyways, the players were sent down into the mines to rescue yours truly, all the while overcoming the weasel army along the way, resulting in the majority of them getting captured, except for Bloom and Diaspro who managed to stick it out long enough to save the day. Well, sorta, Bloom kinda got crushed by some rocks which kinda immobilized her. Thus, along with Holly and Emerald getting kicked off for trying to pull a fast one on my life, Bloom became the first contestant to be eliminated due to injury. I'd say I feel bad for her...but let's be honest, whose safety's more important; hers or mine? [another clip of Chris screaming plays] That's IT! [on-screen, unplugs the TV screen as he seethes with fury] Gah, keep calm, calm, calm...anger causes wrinkles…[clears throat] Luckily, nothing gets me out of a bad mood faster than upping the OW factor in a challenge. Stick around to see who goes down on Total...Drama...Revenge of the Underdogs...tell the editor to meet me at the Dock of Shame!
[as Chris grumpily walks off the screen, the scene cuts to Chef watching from the monitor and snickering]
[cue theme song, the episode continues]
[scene shows the night sky as it pans across the forest, the sounds of nature echoing through the currently peaceful atmosphere. It then cuts to the exterior of the spa hotel before it fades into the interior where Diaspro is seen reading a book in the girls' bedroom]
[static buzzing]
Diaspro: [sighs] Now that Bloom's out of the competition, I'm kinda at a loss of people who I can turn to for support. With me and Izzy as the only girls remaining, we're at an uneven balance with the threat of the guys picking the two of us off. No doubt Prince John and Incineroar will vote alongside each other, but as for Top Cat and Hokey...hmm…
[static buzzing]
[just then, the bedroom is kicked out, causing Diaspro to look up from her book with a raised brow]
Diaspro: You do know you could just op-WHAT THE?! [drops her book in shock]
Izzy: [with only her head shown by the camera] What? You never slept in the nude before?
Diaspro: NO! What on earth are you doing?! You can't seriously expect me to see you with no clothes on!
Izzy: Awww, why's that? We're just two gals sharin' a room, nothin' to worry about, in fact, how about we get you out of those-
Diaspro: [grips onto her clothes] Don't you dare try to strip me! I'm not some...some prostitute!
Izzy: [shrugs] Ah well.
[Diaspro watches as Izzy does a front flip in the air off-screen and lands on the bed as the camera cuts to Izzy giggling with everything but her head covered by the blanket]
Izzy: Hehehe, man, I am beat! So glad to be back in this hotel, kudos to you. [gives a thumb-up to the fairy]
Diaspro: [sarcastically] Yeah, I'm so thrilled to have your company.
Izzy: Glad to hear, well, I'mma tucker in for the night. See ya' in the morning. [instantly goes to sleep as she snores softly, leaving Diaspro quite befuddled]
[static buzzing]
Izzy: Yeah, I sleep however I feel depending on the mood, or just because I feel like it, I even find sleeping in the nude to be quite therapeutic as it just feels sooooooo good to reenact how we used to do back then, and how our lovely animal brethren do it in the bare fur, hehehe, ooooooh, gettin' a lil frisky there, I see. Might give me a few ideas for a few chocolate nudes in the future, hehehe.
[static buzzing]
Diaspro: As much as Izzy freaks me out...and I mean really freaks me out, for the time being, I'll have to keep on her good side, especially in a time like this. So...I'll humor whatever antics she'll pull...no matter how weird they are…[shudders]
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to the interior of the males' side of the cabins where Top Cat, Hokey, Prince John, and Incineroar are all gathered, the former two on the viewer's right, the latter two on the viewer's left]
Top Cat: Well, I guess you're our new roommates for the time being.
Prince John: Ugh, I'd nearly forgotten how tacky these cabins are. One such as myself should not have to sleep in such dreadful conditions.
Hokey: I mean, it's gotta be better than sleeping on a cold stone floor in the dungeon, am I right?
Prince John: I would prefer it if you did not bring that up. [shudders] It was truly undignified, being treated lower than a common peasant, a bloody prisoner! Toiling away at picking rocks and getting my beautiful fur all sweaty and dirty, and my poor delicate paws aching after each day.
Top Cat: I mean, you can't say ya' didn't have it comin', what with treatin' everyone behind ya' like s**t and robbin' them of any wealth they could salvage.
Prince John: Hmph! That's ironic coming from someone who lives in a rubbish bin and constantly pawns off anyone gullible enough to take your offers.
Incineroar: He's got ya' there.
Top Cat: I grew up in an alley with almost nothin' ta' spare, I needed ta' make a livin' somehow, you've got all the good stuff in that precious castle a' yours! What's your excuse other than filtering your already enormous ego?
Prince John: EGO?! How dare you insinuate such a thing?!
Hokey: He ain't wrong, ya' know. You're just too stubborn to admit it.
Prince John: Says the combination of both this one right here and Yogi Bear.
Hokey: Oh, you do not wanna go there, pal!
Prince John: Pah, whatever's the matter? Is it because what I'm saying is true?
Hokey: I'll give you true! [stands up in a threatening manner]
Incineroar: Hey, you mess with him, you mess with me!
Hokey: Oh, well isn't that cute, you need a big guy ta' fight your battle for you.
Prince John: Why the utter cheek! I could take you on no problem!
Top Cat: Alright then, let's see you put your money where ya' mouth is! [stands up as well]
Incineroar: Ooooooh, I've been lookin' for a good fight, what a better time than any.
Prince John: Bring it on, peasants!
Hokey: Gladly.
[Hokey tries to lunge at Prince John, but Incineroar tackles him to the floor, however, this leaves Top Cat to tackle the lion to the bed as all four guys begin to roughhouse with each other, the scene cutting to the exterior of the cabin as the sounds of punches, shouts, and things being broken can be heard from inside]
[static buzzing]
Top Cat: I'm-
[static buzzing]
Hokey: -gonna-
[static buzzing]
Prince John: -destroy-
[static buzzing]
Incineroar: -him!
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to morning as the sky is turning a dark shade of orange over the horizon. It then cuts to the interior of the spa hotel where Diaspro is seen still sleeping as a silhouetted figure walks past her. The fairy briefly opens her eyes at the sight of someone walking out the door and then shuts them again...that is until the sound of loud off-key singing is heard coming from the bathroom, causing her to awaken with a jolt and then a groan as she covers herself up with the blanket]
Diaspro: [yawns as she approaches the bathroom] Izzy, can I come in?
Izzy: [from behind the door, stops singing] Oh sure, Dia, come on in and join the fun, hehehe!
Diaspro: [as she grabs onto the door handle, she pauses] You better have a towel wrapped around yourself! [slowly opens the door with her eyes closed...to see, much to her relief, Izzy is in fact wearing a towel] Oh, thank God…
Izzy: Morning, sleeping beauty, have a nice sleep, I know I did, I dreamt that I was the captain to a fleet of animal warriors from the amazon and was biting down on the necks of their enemies! It was awesome, [points to her forehead] we'll get 'em next time, boys, hehehe!
Diaspro: [stares blankly at the wild child] Oooookay then...that sounds...interesting…?
[scene cuts to the interior of the cabin where the guys are seen sleeping on opposite sides of the room, all of them looking rather ruffled from their fight from last night, along with the room itself having a bit of damage done to it. Incineroar is the first to awaken from the bottom bunk and looks up to a still sleeping Prince John. As quietly and as gently as he can muster, the fire Pokemon picks up the scrawny lion and lifts him off the top bunk and slowly walks outside the cabin]
Prince John: [stirs as he feels himself being carried] Ooooooh...wha...Incineroar...what on…[yawns]...earth are you doing?
Incineroar: Hmm? [looks down to the still rather drowsy lion] Ah, didn't mean to wake you up, but I figured that you'd wanna wake up somewhere a little less...badgering, you could say. Especially considering what happened last night…
Prince John: Oh...well...I appreciate the gesture…
Incineroar: Hehe, no problem, just wanted to make sure your highness felt comfortable by any means necessary.
Prince John: Hmmm…
[static buzzing]
Prince John: It truly feels nice to have someone who treats you with respect, especially if you're on the spectrum of royalty. Incineroar, as rough around the edges as he may be...coupled with his rather jockish personality which takes a hindrance on his intelligence, is who I would consider to be the perfect candidate to go against me in the final two. After all, I can't expect him to go hard on me, and in all honesty, I've a strong feeling he'd be willing to split the prize money with me. So for me, it's a win either way.
[static buzzing]
Incineroar: Haha, the final six and still goin' long! I'd say I got myself a sure chance of winning, I mean, I've won the heart of someone many would consider to have a heart of stone, so I'd say that all in all, this guy's headin' to the final two, just gotta stay in the ring and avoid elimination by any means necessary.
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts back to the interior of the cabin where Top Cat is seen waking up from the bottom bunk]
Top Cat: [yawns and smacks his lips] Huh...I see the prince and the pauper flew the coop.
Hokey: [yawns and jumps down from the top bunk to stretch] Ugh, last night, I tell you...I feel like I might have pulled something.
Top Cat: [stretches his arm out with a groan] I know what ya' mean...we've got to separate those two soona' or later. Especially if it means cornering that snobby tyrant.
Hokey: I've been meaning to get rid of that Incineroar for a while now, he's the muscle behind Prince John's operations, and don't think I forgot him chucking me into the drink not too long ago. Plus, I'd rather not have to be under him whenever he comes to the rescue of his oh so precious princess.
Top Cat: If we get rid of him, then Scrawny the Lion'll make him himself easy pickings from that point on.
Hokey: Exactly, so it's a deal then, we got each other's backs up until the final two?
Top Cat: [extends his hand out to shake] Wouldn't have it any other way.
Hokey: Hmm. [extends his hand out to shake]
[static buzzing]
Top Cat: Well, looks like I exceeded my highest placement from last time, and currently, things seem to be workin' in my favor. The only point a' contention is gettin' rid of Prince John, but that shouldn't be too difficult I reckon, so long as me or Hokey wins the next challenge, the prince and his "guard" will have no shot of votin' me off.
[static buzzing]
Hokey: Final six, but this time, I can say that I've really made my mark on this game, no more fading into the background, I've been front and center this whole season and I'm not gonna let anything stand in my way. With TC as an alliance member, I've got me a clear plan for the final two.
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to the loudspeaker as it screeches to life]
Loudspeaker: Attention, my lovely victims! I've got something special to show you in the heart of the forest, something I know you're gonna love because refusal to participate will result in your disqualification! [chuckles]
[scene cuts to the contestants walking through the forest, the males all glaring at one another]
Izzy: Oooooh, something tells me a little tension's going on between them. Delicious, hehehe…
Diaspro: Must you make an innuendo out of everything?
Izzy: Oh, I dunno, maybe, yeah. Besides, it's cute really, they're all so angry at each other when they could really be a bunch of teddy bears to each other.
Diaspro: Um...yeah, sure…
[scene cuts to the heart of the forest where Chris is looking at his watch]
Chris: Ah, about time you guys showed up, I was almost getting bored, thooooough, seeing a bit of tension between contestants is always a treat. [chuckles as the guys turn their glares from each other to the host]
Top Cat: Yeah, yeah, our pain is your entertainment, can we just get on with the show already?
Chris: I dunno, seeing you pissed off is TV worthy in my eyes, but alas, it's time for a special treat for my favorite punching bags. In honor of celebrating our 100th episode, I've comprised a challenge that's both fun, for me, and dangerous, for you. Me and Chef have spent the last few days setting up this obstacle course that will test who's really worthy of making it to the finish. First up, you'll have to dodge incoming cakes that are filled with all sorts of surprises inside them. Next, you'll have to make your way across the forest of balloons and try your best not to get tangled up in the strings or any other surprises that'll come your way. After that, you'll have to make your way through a pool of chocolate pudding, but watch where you step cuz ya' might trigger something a little hurty, and that would be bad...for you. Finally, tag the large candy cane at the end of the podium and you win invincibility, provided you make it there without losing your direction with a few smoke bombs. Other than that, time to get ready because we're starting in just a few minutes.
Prince John: [shudders] Cake on my lovely attire and trotting through pudding, ugh, the indignity.
Top Cat: Not so confident without your big strong servant to carry you, huh?
Incineroar: I could carry you...up into the clouds.
Top Cat: [pauses and turns away] Uuuuuuuuh, I think I'll stay on the ground, thank you very much.
Incineroar: [to Prince John] Don't you worry, ain't nobody gonna mess with us while I've got your back.
Prince John: [sighs] Thank you…
Top Cat: [to Hokey] Remember the plan, big wrestler guy's goin' next.
Hokey: Without a doubt.
Izzy: [rubs her hands together in delight] Hehehe, Izzy's ready and raring to go! I wanna get me some of that cake and pudding!
Chris: On your marks...get set...GO! [blows the air horn]
[the six contestants race onto the platform as the cakes begin to rain down on them from being launched by Chef using several catapults]
Izzy: [swoops down to avoid an incoming cake and then moves to the side to avoid another] Haha! You'll have to do better than that! Izzy's unstoppable! Bring it-[suddenly, a metallic clang is heard as a cake hits her in the face, sending her to the ground]-oooooooooh…[her eyes spin about rather dazed as a golden bell is shown to have next to her]
Chris: [to Chef standing by] OOOOOH, and Izzy goes down hard! [murmurs to the hulking man] Uh, we only put soft objects in the cakes, correct?
Chef: [shrugs] Last time I checked, I only put in powders and goop.
Chris: Interesting…
[static buzzing]
Izzy: [dazed] You know, this is actually kinda fun, I'm seeing things different...hehehe, Mom's wearing an elephant on her head…
[static buzzing]
Top Cat: [tries to dodge a cake coming to his left, but another lands on his head, covering him in gunpowder, causing him to cough] ACK! PAH! Damn...these two do not go together!
Prince John: [as he passes the now distracted alley cat] Neither does victory, it seems! Allow me to show what it-[a cake smacks into him, covering him in grape jelly]-AAAH! MY OUTFIT! IT'S RUINED!
Hokey: [as he passes the wailing lion] And to last place you-[a cake lands on his head, covering him in sand]-BLEH! PHEW!
Incineroar: [as he passes Hokey] Spoke too soon, didn't ya'?!
[scene cuts to the five remaining contestants racing through the balloon forest. Diaspro is making her way around the many balloons and strings when she suddenly trips]
Diaspro: EEP! Hey, something's got me! [tries to stand back up, but finds out that her legs have been tied up with balloon strings] I can't move! AGH! Someone get me out of here!
Chris: [looking through a pair of binoculars] Looks like Diaspro's found herself tangled up, how unfortunate...for her! [chuckles] That's two down, four still remaining! Who's next to be knocked out by our 100th episode challenge, who's gonna make it to the end and which of our lovely couples will get the other out at tonight's elimination ceremony? Find out when we return on Total...Drama...Revenge of the Underdogs!
[scene cuts to black, the episode continues]
[scene shows the guys exiting the balloon forest and trudging their way through the pool of chocolate pudding, the level going all the way up to their thighs]
Hokey: MRPH! Normally, I'd like pudding, but this is ridiculous!
Incineroar: Really, cause...RFF...I'm making it just fine!
Top Cat: [tries to make his way through the pudding as swiftly as possible] C'mon, c'mon! I'm not out a' this yet!
Prince John: [feebly sloshes his way through the pudding] Oh, my beautiful robe...it's filthy!
Top Cat: Ready to give up, I hear?
Prince John: Pah! Not on your life, peasant!
[as the guys still try to get to the other side of the pool, Hokey steps on something underneath which sends a jet of whooshing water rushing up and tossing the lupine into the air]
Hokey: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! [lands back in the pool with a splat]
[Prince John is next to step on something as a boxing glove shoots out from the pool and clocks him in the stomach and sends him on his back]
Prince John: OOF! Oooooooh mommy, it hurts…
Chris: That's another two down for the count, with some hilarious results! [chuckles] With that, Top Cat and Incineroar are the only to make it to the other end of the pool and are on their way to the finish!
Top Cat: [panting] I...I made it...phew, just need ta'...catch my breath…
Incineroar: [as he passes the worn out alley cat] Hope it won't take too long, cuz now I've got-
[at that moment, several smoke bombs go off before the giant candy cane, causing both felines to cough and lose sight of where to go. By the time the smoke settles, the person revealed to have touched the candy cane is…]
Chris: Boom! Just like that, Top Cat wins the challenge by a faceplant!
Top Cat: [half-heartedly] Hooray...ugh…
Incineroar: Awww, man…
Chris: As for the rest of you, what can I say, other than you all need a good clean and time to lick your wounds before finding out which of you's getting the boot tonight.
[the rest of the contestants stuck at their respective spots all groan]
[scene cuts to black, at the Campfire Ceremony]
Chris: Top Cat wins the 100th episode challenge and has gained immunity. As such, he cannot be voted out, but the rest of you are on the chopping block. So, time to get voting to see who's going out with a bang.
[static buzzing]
[scene shows six squares of each contestant scribbling down on an image of someone; Top Cat, Hokey, and Izzy on the top three squares with Diaspro, Prince John, and Incineroar on the bottom three squares]
[static buzzing]
Chris: Okay, now that the votes have been tallied, it's time for the marshmallows! First up; Top Cat [catches the marshmallow]...Diaspro [catches the marshmallow]...Izzy [catches the marshmallow]...and Prince John [catches the marshmallow]. Which leaves us with Hokey and Incineroar. One of you will be going home tonight, while one of you will go on to the final five. Without further ado, the final marshmallow goes to…
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Hokey!
Hokey: [catches the marshmallow]
Incineroar: Aww…[sighs and looks over to Prince John with a rather downcast expression on his face] Hey...you win this one for us…
Prince John: Hmm...MMM! [gets pulled into a kiss by the larger feline, but soon settles into it]
Top Cat and Hokey: [glance at each other with slightly hesitant expressions]
Chris: Top Cat, who will you be taking with you into the spa hotel?
Top Cat: Well, I choose the obvious answer: Hokey. We got some...plans to discuss.
Hokey: Hmm, what he said.
[scene cuts to the Dock of Shame as the remaining contestants stand at attention as Incineroar boards the Boat of Losers]
Incineroar: I may be out of the game, but I'd be lyin' if I said I ain't proud of how far I got compared to last time, you bros take care now, Incineroar out!
[the boat departs from the dock and sets off into the distance]
Chris: Spoken like a true athlete, and with that, we've reached the final five on today's 100th episode! How will Prince John manage to stay on top of things now that his main ally's out of the game, what will become of Top Cat and Hokey's alliance, and who will make it to the final four? Find out next time on Total...Drama...Revenge of the Underdogs!
[scene cuts to black as the episode ends]