Twenty: When Bitches Fly (or fight)

Susan Berg stands in the grand lobby of the Tucson airport, cell phone in hand, waiting to receive the call from Barrish as to which gate awaits her aboard the second presidential jet. She is surprised when she spots Clark's figure from a distance, raises a hand to make herself visible, and the handsome man approaches her with a friendly air. "Miss Berg, it's good to see you after so long, please follow me!"

Elaine waits for her at her usual spot, beckons her to sit next to her with her hand, waits for her to approach and immediately rests her shoulder against it lacing one arm with her own. "Tell me about these wonderful caves, now!", she urges her, while the aircraft is already maneuvering on the runway. Susan takes a breath, enjoying the contact with her friend and immediately plunges into the story.

"They are the best maintained caves in the whole world, probably, this is because they were only discovered in the 1980s. The two cavers who found them were afraid that they might be damaged, as always happens in these situations, and by mutual agreement with the Kartchner family, the owners of the property, they decided to keep the exact location a secret, until the state assured them that they would keep them almost in their original state, presenting a plan for excavations and minimal interventions for tourists to enter"

"There are huge rooms, inside, with the classic bacon formations, giant stalactites and stalagmites, the largest room, the throne room, is presented completely dark, the lights gradually turning on and you witness this spectacle almost in the same way as the first humans who entered it. There are areas that have never been touched by a living soul. There is a room with silt on the bottom, in which you can still see the drag marks of the two cavers who walked there on their hands and knees to explore its size!", she tells her in one breath, conveying her enthusiasm. "Then we need to go back there together, sometime!", the woman tells her, shaking her hand.

The jet takes off and veers northeast, after a few minutes, Susan checks her watch, then leans toward Elaine, stretches her neck as far as she can, to look out the window. "What?", the Secretary asks curiously, gently laying a hand on her back. "If we fly over Phoenix I want to show you the fountain, it's still early, but I don't want it to slip my mind", she explains, looking down with effort. A laugh escapes Elaine, the young woman's enthusiasm always does that to her, it's immensely endearing and she can't help but laugh at it.

After checking at least a couple more times, Susan's eyes finally light up as she motions for her to look downstairs. Elaine follows the direction of her friend's finger until she spots the jet of water and the green mirror of the pond. Sticking to the glass, close together, Barrish is undecided if the emotions she feels are because of the view from the jet or because of her friend's proximity. She decides not to worry about it so much and stays to enjoy the moment until the other sits back down composed.

"I almost forgot!", the politician exclaims, "I got you something in Albuquerque!", she informs her energetically, "Come with me!", she urges her by unfastening her belt.

The sight of that interior hits her like a slap right in her face. How could she forget that fucking couch? She let months go by, completely erasing it from her fucking thoughts! Months in which they truly bonded, built something despite the fact that they were practically at each other's throats at first! They got through it all and then started over again! Freezing on the spot, unable to take a step in any direction, unable to look away from that damn, blinding, fucking white! Unable to hear what her friend is asking her, she remains stunned in the center of the suite.

Elaine turns with an amused look, getting no response from her. Her expression changes, noticing the absolute nothingness in Susan's. "Sue, what's wrong?", she asks as she approaches, turning around to look in the same direction the reporter's eyes are pointing, but all she sees is just the same, old sofa.

"Okay now you're really making me worry, what's going on with you, Susan?", she gently forces her to look at her, guiding her face with her long fingers. She places the palm of her hand on her cheek, to convey her encouragement, "I… I really need… to… to tell you something, Elaine", Susan stutters in a whimsical voice.

Barrish wraps an arm around her shoulders to gently guide her towards the couch. When Susan notices their destination she recovers escaping the embrace and raises her hands hysterically. "No-no-no-not-there!", she cries out as if in the grips of the most frightening hallucinations. The Secretary places her hands on her shoulders, fearing that something serious is really wrong with her. "Honey, it's okay, come on... sit down with me, will you?", she speaks in a reassuring voice, still pushing her in the direction of the seat. What is it that scares her so much that she has such a disproportionate reaction?

The young woman squirms again. "No! I can't!", she blurts out starting to pace back and forth in front of Elaine's shocked gaze. "You don't understand!", she goes on rubbing her hands together convulsively. "I-I wanted to tell you right away! But that really wasn't the right time and then on the way back we started playing Scrabble and we were having fun and we were exhausted and-and-and-and… then it just wiped out of my head! Boom! Gone! God-God-God what a fucking bitch I am! Fucking shitty couch!", she gestures in frustration.

"What couch?", Barrish asks the increasingly confused. Susan suddenly freezes, "WHAT couch?! THAT fucking couch!", she exclaims stretching her arms pointing the piece of furniture.

Elaine realizes that she has to help her somehow, because the young woman really seems to be in hysterics. So she wracks her brain to get some input to help her understand. When was the last time they boarded the jet together? To go to France and back, of course! Suddenly she remembers the woman's strange behavior on both those occasions. Okay... she wasn't in that status, but in the suite she had seemed uncomfortable anyway. And when her friend was on that jet before that? She went to Oman with Bud...

Elaine's blood runs cold at the thought of her ex-husband's flirtatious reputation. She tilts her head to one side, squaring her from head to toe. "Oh no! Oh no!", she exclaims with a choked sound, caught in an unusual feeling of jealousy. The young woman in front of her is the perfect representation of a marble statue, with a terrified look on her visage.

She brings her hands up to cover her mouth. "Oh no... no... no, don't tell me that…", unable to complete the sentence, she looks at her with a hurt expression and aching heart and wonders why she feels so damn bad. "It was a terrible mistake, Elaine!", Susan awakened as she approached in an attempt to explain herself.

Elaine, for her part, recoils, overwhelmed by her incomprehensible jealousy. She raises her hands in a defensive gesture. "Please, please Elaine, it was a... I don't know but… I swear it only happened once!", Susan pleads, afraid of losing her. She raises her hands to place them on her shoulders but the woman sputters backwards, ending up sitting on that fucking couch.

"Like Hell Playing Scrabble!", she finally blurts out with a contorted face, feeling betrayed. It seems to Susan that she has ended up beyond the event horizon of a frightening black hole, which is quickly sucking her into absolute nothingness, at the thought that Elaine has misunderstood who really had anything to do with that fucking sofa. If it weren't so tragic it would certainly be embarrassingly comical!

"No! Elaine! Don't... don't... how do I explain this to you?!", she asks in a disarming tone. "No... no... NO! I don't want to hear about you having sex with Bud, please spare me the details!", the Secretary of State marvels at her own words, wondering why the hell she insists on wanting to talk with her instead of just kicking her hell out. - Well, because we're still flying, maybe? -, she justifies herself.

"It wasn't with Bud!", the reporter is quick to point out, before realizing that the situation can only get fucking worse. Elaine freezes suddenly, wrinkling her forehead, completely bewildered and relieved, but it lasts only a second, then a freight train runs her over, her jaw dropping down as if the tendons connecting it to her skull had torn all at once. She stands up, towering over the young woman in all her size and height.

She is so out of her depth that Susan has the impression of seeing smoke coming out of her ears and nose, backing away moved by a gesture of respect.

" !?", she croaks in shock as she keeps moving forward. "It was a mistake, Elaine, we had too much to drink… please-please, I should have told you right away, I erased it from my mind, I swear… but I'm telling you now…", she continues in shame walking backwards as her friend advances towards her. "It didn't mean anything…", she points out, not quite sure why she cares to let her know this.

"You, you FUCKED, MY, SON, on THAT couch?!", she yells in her face as she feels her eyes fill with tears of burning jealousy. Where does all that jealousy come from? She was never jealous of her son's adventures! She is a damn good mother-in-law, for goodness sake!

"That was a bad call, Elaine, it was a bad call", al the sudden Barrish grabs her with both hands by the collar of her shirt, and slams her hard against the wall. "BAD CALL?", she growls inches from her face, panting loudly. She can feel Susan's frantic breath on her skin and in a way is so intoxicating than a weird warm runs through her body.

She watches the other's eyes fill with tears and can no longer hold back hers, her guts are twisting painfully, because even in the grip of all that anger, that inexplicable jealousy, she can't bear to see Susan in pain.

Susan isn't scared anymore, now, she just feels defeated, she looks into her eyes and the feeling of having lost her annihilates her. Tears flow copiously as she stands silently taking all the shit she deserves. She doesn't know what to say, how to say it, and so she decides to do the only thing she can, so that Elaine can understand something that she herself is only now beginning to understand right now.

She cups her face between her hands, closes her eyes and lets her lips collide with Elaine's. Taken aback by the kiss, the woman momentarily loses her balance and is forced to take a step back, but Susan maintains her hold on her and Elaine finds herself with her eyes closed and her soul in turmoil.

Before she realizes she's responding to the kiss, Susan pulls away from her in sobs. "I'm sorry… I-I'm sorry…", she exhales in a trembling voice, covering her mouth. Groping for the door to her left, she disappears before Elaine Barrish can fully process what just happened.

—

The journalist hides in the small bathroom just outside the suite and leans hard against the door behind her, the lump in her throat almost preventing her from swallowing. She doesn't know whether or not to regret what she has just done. Tears continue to wet her cheeks and she doesn't even care to stop them anymore. She feels that it's all over without even having started, but at least she did everything she could to show Elaine that... - that what? - , she wonders.

Barrish recovers from immobility with her cheeks burning and her heart beating furiously in her chest. She brings trembling hands to her face and feels the need to lean against the wall, slowly her back slips further and further down and she finds herself sitting on her own butt.

She feels like the world has just collapsed on her. She closes her eyes and sees nothing but Susan's face moving closer to hers, and her stomach clenches, but it's a pleasant ache, the usual one you feel when... - when what? - , she asks herself refusing to give herself an answer, she runs her tongue over her lips and feels the salty taste of the tears the young woman has left on them. And she was just about to let go of her shirt collar to reach around her neck and pull her even closer! She's unsure whether to be relieved or disappointed that her friend had put a stop to that curse... or spell...

In an attempt to figure out what happened just moments earlier, she tries to chronologically rearrange the exchange of lines that ended with that... - oh my goodness... - that kiss.

But it's all fragmented, and in her head it sounds like «Blablabla SOFA, blablabla SCRABBLE, blablabla PLEASE, blablabla BUD, blablabla MISTAKE, blablabla FUCKED, blablabla MYSON, blablabla BADCALL», and then... THAT... With a resounding 'thug' she leans her head against the wall and licks her lips until the taste of Susan fades completely.

—

Susan dabs at her swollen eyes in an attempt to cover up an obvious fact, convincing herself that if she hangs on between now and landing, she will look at least acceptable. After managing to look at herself in the mirror without feeling pity for herself, she decides it's time to get out of there and go sit in her usual spot.

She peeps out of her hiding place, torn between wishing that Elaine was waiting for her in the hallway and hoping that she had barricaded herself in the suite. She silently closes the door behind her, straining one ear toward the other locked nearby, but all she hears are the classic noises of the flying jet.

—

The Secretary is convinced that the young woman, overwhelmed by the accusations and literally cornered, has used this expedient to distract her and thus have the opportunity to escape her jealousy... - wrath -, she corrects her words, trying to convince herself.

She can' t blame her, thinking about it now, when she begins to feel a little calmer and to realize the way she assaulted her, but what the fuck! Fucking her son and then pretend nothing happened with her for all that time! - but that was a long time ago! Before the incident, when you weren't even completely honest with her yet! Then after the attack on Air Force One this could only fade into the background! -, suggests a little voice inside her. - Besides, it's not true that she's been acting out, she's always been nervous in that suite! No wonder she had removed it! And now she feels very bad about it... -, the voice insists.

After a few more minutes of recomposing, just as the pilot warns her that they are about to begin their descent into DC, the politician is ready to face the Berg.

Trying to maintain a neutral attitude, she sits down next to her and immediately turns to look at her, her heart clenching at the sight of her reddened eyes, and she just wants to cup that face of hers and… but her expression is proud. And it's the same as when they stood at the elephant cage after she kicked her out of her office. The expression of someone who knows she' s wrong and has the nuts to admit it.

"Thank you for seeing me", she had told her that night. "I, uh, I wanted to apologize. I found out the story was my fault. I inadvertently leaked it. I told my editor, who I'm sleeping with. He told the other woman he's also sleeping with. A fellow journalist", she had explained, refusing to show herself as a victim, albeit with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry to hear that", she had replied in a calm tone, "Genuinely", she had pointed out to the skeptical look of her interlocutor. "Yeah, thought you'd appreciate the irony", "That may be the meanest thing you've said about me", Barrish had joked. "Oh, you haven't read my columns. They were pretty mean" , the young woman had retorted promptly. "I may have read a few of your columns", the politician had finally admitted.

Now, this young woman is about to say something, but Elaine beats her to it by raising a hand.

"I just need you to listen to me right now, okay?", she begins in a reassuring voice, a hasty nod from Susan is enough to carry on, "I overreacted in there, I physically attacked you and it was understandable that you would find a way to... anyway, I'm sorry... I know you're sorry too, I can't hold it against you for something that happened when we were still... using each other. And Doug... I mean, let's just pretend it didn't happen and... Let's just put it behind us, okay?"

Susan tries to smile, tightening her lips and clenching her jaw, forcing herself not to allow her eyes to fill with tears again. She can't remember what she wanted to say or even know if it matters anymore. She' still there, she hasn't lost it, but… she knows she didn't kiss her to... distract her... that's probably the word that hadn't come to her. What should she do now? Tell her?

"Okay", she answers trying to sound convincing. The other takes her hand in an affectionate gesture and squeezes it between her own smiling at her. "It's okay", Barrish reassures her in a soft way.