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Rachel was avoiding Eddie. Again. He was positive of that, having spent almost all of his spare time on Monday trying to find just a minute with her, but completely failing. In the morning, she was conspicuously absent from her office, and by the time he'd bumped into her in the staff room, the bell was ringing and he didn't even manage to speak to her as she avoided his eyes and hurried away.

He set his year tens an exam during first period, and brooded at his desk. He couldn't understand it- dinner on Saturday had gone well. Much like Friday, the conversation had flowed well into the evening, and when they'd parted ways outside the restaurant Rachel had been relaxed, brushing a kiss against his cheek before she climbed into her taxi.

Which was why Eddie was so confused now. At break time he was busy with a year eight who had missed the lesson on Pythagoras' Theorem the week before, and at lunch Rachel was firmly nestled in between Matt and Jasmine, talking about ideas to get the kids more involved in extracurricular activities. She probably thought she'd successfully avoided him all day, but Eddie had one advantage he didn't think she knew about. And that was a free period after lunchtime.

"I think that's my chair."

Rachel was paused at the doorway of her office, head tilted as she regarded Eddie sat behind her desk, looking entirely too smug. "Is it?" he asked innocently, and spun to face her as she walked towards him.

"What are you doing?"

"Well, I figured that sooner or later, you'd have to come here." His head tilted back to look at her. "So it seemed a good place to wait for you."

She frowned. "Why are you waiting for me?"

"Why are you avoiding me?" he countered. He saw the flinch she wasn't quite fast enough to hide.

"I'm not..."

"Rachel." His tone was flat, the vague joking tone vanishing. "Don't treat me like an idiot."

She was looking away as he rose to his feet, teeth worrying her lip. "I don't think you're an idiot."

"Then talk to me." He risked reaching out, brushing her hair back from her face. "Have you just freaked yourself out? Changed your mind? Had a better offer?"

The last was offered lightly, and she huffed out a laugh. "No, of course not."

"Then what?"

"I just..." she hesitated, searching for the words.

"Rachel. I don't understand, I thought things were good on Saturday?"

She deflated slightly. "They were."

He was even more confused. "Then I really don't understand."

She looked away, biting her lip. "I'm sorry."

"Have you changed your mind?" he asked gently. "Because you know you only have to tell me. I won't be angry."

"Eddie, no..." She grabbed his hand, feeling more awful by the second. "I... I just... it has nothing to do with you."

"That's obviously not true."

Rachel felt sick. "No, I swear. It's not you, Eddie, it's me. Of course it is."

"Then explain it!" he demanded, losing his temper. "I don't think that's too much to ask for! Rachel, you've been acting strangely for a while now and just when I think things are getting better, they get even worse than before!"

But how could she explain it? How could she tell him that she'd woken up on Sunday and caught sight of herself in the mirror, and felt sick at what she saw? It had been so simple before- there had been Amanda, and then there had been Rachel. The prostitute and the teacher. Amanda had had long hair and worn tight clothes with short skirts, drank cheap alcohol while avoiding her abusive father's wrath. Rachel dressed modestly, with neat hair that never reached past her upper back, who drank wine and didn't have a family. Two entirely separate people who wore the same face. Until that morning, when she'd looked in the mirror and all of a sudden couldn't separate them, could no longer be sure where Amanda ended and Rachel began. The two distinct parts of her life were now merging, and she only had herself to blame.

She should never have bowed to Stuart Hordley, and never made that phone call. And she certainly should never have allowed Eddie to become as involved as he was.

But that was the issue, wasn't it? Because he was involved now, standing so close to her that she could feel the heat from his body and she was in too deep, selfishly wanting to continue this even as every instinct screamed at her that this was a bad idea.

But she'd never been good at selfish, and so she stepped back, away from Eddie, feeling the lump in her throat grow as she shook her head. "I'm sorry."

She watched it happen. The faint disbelief on his face, followed by pain, that quickly shut down into resignation and anger before he carefully blanked his expression. She could see how stiffly he held himself, knew he was practically vibrating with fury that he wouldn't allow himself to unleash, instead giving her a jerky nod. "Okay."

Her eyes burnt and she dug her nails viciously into her palm as he walked out without another word.

The rest of the afternoon was torturous, and she struggled to read the paperwork in front of her through the occasional blurry vision that cropped up. She forced herself to focus on her work, however, ignoring the final bell and the cacophony that came with several hundred departing students, the faint sounds of the teachers' cars starting up and leaving as well. And it was only when the school had been silent for a while, and her back was aching from the seated position she'd been in for too long that she allowed herself to move, to slowly pack her things up and make her way outside.

It seemed like the universe's cruellest joke that she rounded the corner of the corridor and almost slammed into Eddie, who had just reached the bottom of the stairs. For a moment, they both froze, staring at each other.

It was he who spoke first, swallowing hard. "Thought you would have gone already."

Rachel just shrugged, not trusting her voice and dug her nails into her palms again. A dozen emotions flew across Eddie's face but he said nothing, and Rachel began to walk away, heading to the car park and silently hoping that he wouldn't follow her. But no such luck. He fell into step beside her, always in silence, casting covert looks at her out of the corner of his eye.

Just before they would have split to go different ways, he couldn't take it anymore. "Rachel. You do know that you can talk to me? Tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

The answer was so automatic and rote that he actually rolled his eyes. She was avoiding his gaze, knuckles white as she clutched at the strap of her bag and Eddie clenched his jaw, wished he didn't care so much. "Sure."

His anger was palpable. However much it had dimmed from earlier, it now roared back, his hands shoved into his pockets, eyes stormy as he spun away from her, intending to leave and Rachel bit her lip, stomach clenching. This felt worse than she'd dreamt, and she didn't even realise what she was doing before she reached out to touch his wrist drawing him both to a stop. She didn't even care that someone else could have been around to see, however remote the possibility. "Eddie, I'm sorry."

"It's fine." He pulled away from her, voice icy cold. "I don't know why I hope for anything else."

"Eddie-,"

"Leave it, yeah? You so obviously want to."

She shook her head. "It has nothing to do with-"

She cut off without warning. Eddie was certain that she'd stopped breathing altogether, turning sheet white before his eyes. Her gaze was fixed somewhere over his shoulder, and he spun around just in time to see a man standing beyond the gates turn, climb into a car and drive off before Eddie could do more than register what he was seeing. His brow furrowed as he glanced at the woman next to him. "Rachel?"

She was deathly pale, practically hyperventilating as she stared at the same spot and ice pooled in his stomach. He caught hold of her upper arms, applying just enough pressure to catch her attention. "Rachel!"

Her gaze snapped to his. They were wide, panic barely veiled. "I..."

"Who was that?"

She shook her head, hands gripping her bag tightly but Eddie was sure that if they hadn't been, they would have been shaking. "Rachel, talk to me!"

She shook her head even more frantically, but one of her hands had come up to wrap around his wrist where he was holding her and her touch was cold and clammy, her face so pale Eddie was genuinely concerned she was either going to pass out or throw up. Or possibly both. "Come on." He guided her in the direction of his car, concern only deepening when she didn't argue, but simply stumbled along in his grip. He got her into the passenger seat, rounded the car and by the time he'd climbed in himself, she was looking at him, fingers clenched so tightly her knuckles were white.

"I'm sorry."

He reached out for her hand, hoping to loosen her grip before she hurt herself. It took a moment, but eventually she relaxed, turning her hand over to entwine their fingers. "Yours, mine or pub."

"Eddie…"

"Those are your only options right now."

She ducked her head, but he was learning and he waited patiently in silence, waited for her to realise that being alone would be far worse than being with him. He could almost see the moment she did, the way her shoulders sagged ever-so-slightly and he heard the way she blew out a small breath before speaking. "Mine."

He nodded without a word, started the car to begin the drive to her house, wondering all the while why he was even bothering.

W.R.

It wasn't long later that they were sequestered on Rachel's sofa, both with drinks in hand. She'd barely said a word on the journey, had dropped her bags in the hallway and moved straight to the kitchen for wine as soon as they'd stepped into the house. Eddie remained quiet as well, waiting her out, hoping she would start talking soon but unwilling to be the one who began. Rachel's fingers tapped against her thigh, teeth worrying her lip and Eddie was beginning to lose the battle to stay silent, worry dancing within him, when in the second before he was about questioning her, she spoke. "You wanted to know what I did about Stuart."

That wasn't what he'd been expecting. He blinked in surprise, shifted in his seat to put his glass down. "I also said I wouldn't ask anymore."

Her demeanour didn't change. "I need to tell you."

Where had this come from? Eddie's brow furrowed, fingers twitching as he resisted the urge to reach out to her, soothe her in whatever way he could. "Rach, you don't have to."

"No, you don't understand." She was visibly agitated, putting her own glass to the side and almost wringing her hands together. "You need to know. Because it will change how you see me, it will change... this."

His response was instant. "Not possible."

She didn't believe it, not for a second. But that was a whole separate argument that she wasn't willing to get into at that moment. Like ripping a plaster off, she thought, and took a deep breath. "The guy from earlier? I knew him, back before I… went into teaching. He was... we called him Fixer."

Eddie frowned. "Fixer?"

"Inventive, I know. But that's what he was- he fixed things. You have to understand, us girls, we just went where we were told, when we were told." Rachel had closed her eyes, unable to bear looking at him. "If someone hadn't paid up, he persuaded them to. If one of the girls wasn't falling in line, he made sure she did. Sometimes other... groups would begin to encroach on the area and he would remind them to keep their distance."

Eddie was pale, and barely managed to keep himself from gaping at her. It was like something out of a film, he thought, keeping silent as he looked at her. Rachel thought that might have been worse. "He was allowed to use the girls as a sort of bonus," she continued and Eddie felt sick. "Only... he got too close to one. They fell in love, she got pregnant but a pregnant prostitute is no good for business. They tried to hide it but one of the other girls dobbed them in. I found out and helped her get out before..." She grimaced, and Eddie had to swallow hard. "I gave her some of the money I'd saved up and lied for her, it was enough for them to get away. When he found out, he decided he owed me. He gave me a number, and if I was ever in trouble or needed help, all I had to do was dial."

"And you used it for Hordley," Eddie realised, voice quiet and she nodded miserably.

"I always swore I'd never call. Never invite any part of that life back in but then..." Finally, she looked at him, terrified of what she'd see on his expression. But it was carefully empty, eyes expressionless as he looked at her. "I didn't have any other ideas." Her voice cracked, and she clenched her fingers hard around the material of her cardigan. "I couldn't let you go to the LEA, but there was no way I could get the contract taken from Stuart. So... I made the call."

Eddie's voice was almost too calm, quiet and it made Rachel's insides twist as he pinned her with a stare. "What has he done to him, Rach?"

"I don't know." She closed her eyes against the tears, fully aware her voice was hitching and strained. "I swear, I don't know. I didn't want to know."

She almost jumped into the air when she felt hands slide around hers, eyes flying open again. She hadn't heard Eddie move, hadn't felt him lower himself next to her. He reached out with one hand, gently wiped away the tears on her cheek. "Don't cry. It'll be alright."

She gave a choked laugh. "You and tears."

He didn't smile. "More like you and tears. I don't like to see you upset, Rach."

That didn't help her stop. "You should hate me."

"Never going to happen."

"Even if I've condemned a man to-," she cut off, choking on her own words and instantly felt Eddie's grip tighten slightly.

"He deserves it."

She shook her head. "No, he doesn't. Nobody does."

"Rachel." He waited until she'd looked at him, careful to keep his voice gentle. "He threatened you. He threatened our students. He deliberately made you afraid, he blackmailed you, he could have ruined your entire career and reputation and all because he wanted a building bid. If he loses his business, then it's nobody's fault but his own."

She ached with how naive he was. "It won't just be his business, Eddie. I'm more concerned with him losing his life!"

He felt the blood drain from his face, couldn't find his tongue for a minute. "He killed him?"

"I don't know!" Her voice had risen hysterically. "I told you, I didn't ask because I didn't want to know! As if that would absolve me of responsibility in some way! Maybe he killed him, maybe he tortured him, forced him into a car accident, burnt down his house, threatened his family, he's done all those things before! I don't know what he did but whatever it was it's because of me!"

She buried her face in her hands, and for the first time Eddie realised just how much this had been affecting her. And suddenly, the past few of days made a lot more sense. He reached out, pulling her into his arms before she had a chance to argue and she only resisted for a moment, a token resistance, before she crumpled into him and her tears soaked into his shoulder. "It'll be okay." Even he wasn't sure if he was telling the truth. He ran a hand up and down her spine, murmuring nonsense to her. She didn't answer, merely shook against him and he was sure her eyes would be squeezed tightly shut as she struggled to stop her tears.

Eddie wasn't sure how long had passed, but eventually Rachel had stilled, though he hadn't made any move to let her go. So when she spoke, he almost jumped, her voice loud in its suddenness. "Why are you still here?"

He pressed a kiss to her hair. "Because I'm still not convinced he didn't deserve it," he admitted in a murmur. "And even if he didn't, I would never blame you for it."

She pulled back to look at his face in shock, eyes red rimmed and exhausted. "There's hardly anyone else to blame."

"Hordley is at fault here," Eddie told her firmly. "He played with fire, and he got burnt. Simple as."

Rachel stared at him for a long moment. Before without warning, she surged forward and kissed him. This kiss was different- it was fierce and hard and tinged with desperation. It made Eddie's head spin, and it seemed like no time at all before Rachel's hands were pushing at his shoulders, leaning him back as she rose up to straddle him, her lips never leaving his. Eddie wasn't complaining, one hand landing on her hip while the other threaded through her hair.

It was only when her fingers began to scrabble at the buttons on his top that reality broke through. "Rachel..."

She hummed, and he had never been so tempted to shut up in his life. "Rach, we can't..."

"Weren't you the one pushing for this?"

He turned his head to stop her kissing him again, and the movement forced her to pause. There was desire on her face, yes, but something else as well, another emotion mixed in that Eddie couldn't identify but knew shouldn't be there. He reached up, thumb running over her cheek. "Not like this."

Her expression darkened. "I knew it."

She made to push off of him, got only part of the way before he caught hold of her, stopped her going any further. "You think I don't want this?" he demanded. "Damn it, Rachel, I've wanted this for weeks. But not now, not when it's about Hordley and this fixer and guilt instead of about you and me!" She stilled in his grip, studying his expression as if she could see straight into his mind. But she wasn't entirely convinced, he saw, trailing his fingertips over her jaw and he shifted slightly, pressing them together. "You must be able to tell how much I don't want to stop you right now."

He saw her cheeks turn pink, and in the back of his mind, absently noted how adorable it was that the insinuation still made her blush like a schoolgirl. But she didn't sound like a schoolgirl when she narrowed her eyes at him. "The vast majority of men wouldn't make me, then."

He shrugged. "Then I guess I'm not most men." He kissed her gently, felt her relax in his grip.

"You're right about that," she murmured once they'd parted, looking at him with an expression that was vaguely baffled, slightly suspicious and somewhat impressed. And when she slid to the side, settling herself next to him, Eddie felt only the briefest pangs of regret before he pulled her into his side and knew he'd made the right decision.